Author's Note

This is mega late, but oh well.

Christmas Special: A very Beltosh Christmas to all

Christmas special

3 A.B.

“This is a really really bad idea, Lance,” Peter muttered as he and the striped stallion finished decorating the room in human styled Christmas decorations, just like the kind they’d had back on earth.

“Hey, I brought you in on this because you’re always down to clown. Don’t start putting negativity into this, bro,” Lance warned as he twirled a candy cane in his hoof, a smirk sliding onto his face as he tossed it into the air and caught it between his lips. “Besides, what about this could be bad? This is a SOLID plan with ZERO drawbacks.”

“I mean, for one, what if he comes out evil? Greg’s track record for this kinda stuff is pretty… eh?” Peter said, taking a step back to make sure everything was in place.

“Evil?” Lance said with a dismissive laugh. “Ain’t no WAY he’d come out evil. And if he does, we’ll just try again and again till we get it right. Right, Greg?”

They both looked over to Greg as he lay sprawled out on an office chair, slowly spinning in a circle as he stared at the ceiling.

“It’s piss easy,” Greg mumbled, seeming to be drunk on the nog. Something Lance had encouraged as a way to set the mood.

“See? Nothing to worry about,” Lance chuckled, stepping over to the table where some clothing sat. He’d had Rarity working for weeks to produce everything he requested, as it was completely necessary.

“I still don’t know why we have to do this,” Peter began, still not fully on board even after weeks of Lance pestering him.

“Because,” Lance said, glancing at him. “I want Spark to experience the real Christmas, not this pony Hearth’s warming stuff. That’s a fake holiday. I want Christmas, and the kids of this world will want it as well once they fully understand it. Since only us three and Rarity know what we’re doing, it’ll be just like on earth.”

“True, but-”

“No buts about it, Christmas is probably the only important holiday to ever exist, and we can’t have it without the big man himself.” Lance stepped over to Greg and nudged him. “It’s time, Greg.”

“Yippie,” Greg said in a tired voice as he stumbled to his hooves, looking barely conscious.

“Let’s say it all works out,” Peter began. “He comes out not evil, no flaws. How will we know he’ll do what he’s supposed to do?”

“Well duh, we’re literally just making a copy of our world's Santa and porting him here. Stupid simple,” Lance said, rolling his eyes.

“Wait, what? That’s the plan?” Peter asked dumbfounded. “There’s nothing to copy, Santa’s not a real dude, bro.”

“We got a non-believer over here, huh Greg?” Lance said with a smile, giving Greg a shoulder nudge.

“Hehe, what a dumbass,” Greg snickered, shaking his head at Peter.

Peter looked between them even more shocked. “You two… still believe in Santa?”

“Hell yeah, I saw him with my own eyes,” Lance said proudly. “I sat on his lap at the mall once. Dudes real.”

Mouth open, Peter shifted his gaze to Greg, who only nodded lazily.

“I saw his sleigh once fly across the sky while I was smoking a new brew,” Greg said as he looked off dreamily.

“Oh my God…” Peter mumbled, rubbing his face. “Okay sure, yeah. Let’s just get this over with.”

“You heard the man,” Lance said as he poked at Greg. “Work your magic, bro!”

“Hehe, yeah man. Just let me…” Greg said, suddenly grabbing his spiked eggnog and drinking the entire carton. Once he was done he threw it aside and stumbled to the side, his horn already starting to light up.

“Oh this is for sure the brightest idea we’ve ever had,” Peter said as he stepped back, picking up his ballistic shield he’d brought just in case.

The room began to fill with a bright light as the sound of bells could be heard from somewhere in the distance.

“Yes…” Lance muttered, eyes wide in glee as he watched the center of the room expectantly. The light grew brighter as a deep jolly laugh could now be heard. “YES! Come to us Santa! COME!”

He couldn’t help himself as he stood on his hindlegs, forelegs spread wide. A figure began to form before them. “SANTA!”

A sudden boom sent all of them flying backwards, crashing into walls and random decor.

With a groan, Peter crawled out from under the couch he’d slammed into, rubbing his head. As he looked to the center of the room, his jaw dropped.

Before them, looking very confused, was a naked, fat, old man with a large gray beard and shocked eyes.

“Holy fucking-” Peter began, but was cut off as Lance exploded from the debris, landing before the large man.

“Santa! You’re here!” Lance exclaimed, jumping before the man. He didn’t seem to realize his right foreleg was broken, a result of the explosion.

The man just stared wide eyed at Lance, then at the room around them. He said not a word.

“Greg, are you seeing this?! It’s Santa!” Lance yelled, looking back for his green friend. But all he saw was Greg’s leg sticking out of some of the trash and furniture that’d been thrown with him. At this Lance just shifted his attention back to the man. “Alright! I know you’re probably really confused, but just know, you’re the man!”

Peter slowly walked up behind the excited Lance, eyes locked on the man. “He’s…. Actually real?”

“Duh, weren’t you paying attention?” Lance said with a shake of his head before looking back at the man. “Now for you- ouch, what happened to my leg?” He finally noticed his leg hanging loosely. “Ah Twi’s gonna kill me.”

The large nude man blinked a few times as he shifted his gaze to Lance’s leg. Without a word he reached out and pointed a pudgy finger at Lance’s leg. Yellowish sparkling magic flowed forward and swirled around the broken leg. Moments later it dissipated.

“Oh my holy fucking night,” Lance exclaimed, flexing his now fixed leg. “Christmas Magic!! He’s not evil!”

“He’s real… like real even on earth…?” Peter muttered, still unable to grasp the situation. “I… this doesn’t make sense.”

Excitedly, Lance rushed to pick up the clothing and brought it over the large man. “Here’s all your cloths!”

“Clothes…” Peter corrected, mind slowly turning.

Peter wasn’t the only one who was confused. The large man, Santa Clause himself, looked completely lost. Yet he still put on the clothing, just to not be nude before them. Lance squealed like a girl when he saw the man in the suit, now fully resembling Santa Clause.

Yellow magic swirled around the man, seeming to enchant the clothing and causing it to form fit to him. A large red sack even appeared in his hands.

“Oh this is the coolest thing ever…” Lance muttered, watching everything with excitement in his eyes.

Without warning, the wall near them exploded inward as an entire sleigh suddenly crashed through it, with a whole team of reindeer leading it. Scaring Peter and causing Lance to giggle like a crazed man.

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out two boxes, wrapped in beautiful wrapping. He gave one to Lance and tossed the other to Greg, where it landed next to his hoof that was still sticking out of the rubble. The hoof fell on the box and began to pat it, followed by the sound of muffled laughter.

Then Santa turned to Peter and shook his head. He pulled something out and tossed it to Peter.

Peter caught it and stared dumbly at the lump of coal in his hoof.

Lance just laughed as he hugged his present, looking like a happy child as he kept his eyes on the jolly old man.

Santa stepped away and climbed into his Sleigh, giving them all a wave as he grabbed the reins. And just like that, he gave them a mighty whip, causing the reindeer to surge forward, crashing through the other wall and taking to the sky.

The pair watched him leave, one with pure joy on his face, and the other just looking lost.

“But…” Peter began, trying to compose himself. “Where’d the bag come from? And where the fuck did that whole ass Sleigh and team of reindeer come from?! Why is Santa packing a massive hog… AND WHY’D I GET COAL?!”

To answer him, Lance just turned to him, a tear in his eye. “Bro… Christmas Magic.” With that he began to walk away, like in a trance.

Watching him leave, Peter blinked before stomping his hoof. “That didn’t answer any of my questions!”

But Lance ignored him. He’d just witnessed Christmas coming to Equestria, and there was nothing else on his mind.

15 A.B. Christmas Eve

“Thirteen more hours till Christmas morning!” Shayla, age 3, yelled as she rushed around the living room, stopping randomly to stare at the TV that was playing a random episode of DBZ, only to immediately go back to running around the room. Her parents sat on the couch cozied up together, drinking their eggnog.

“I love her excitement,” Mallogory commented, a content smile on her face.

“Makes me wish this Christmas stuff was around when I was a kid,” Scamp replied, sipping her beverage as Shayla zoomed around the room, knocking stuff over in the process. “Shayla, calm down,” she warned.

“Do you think Santa got my list?!” Shayla asked as she jumped on the coffee table in front of the couch, giddy with excitement as she danced before her parents.

“Which one?” Mallogory teased. “You’ve sent…. Seventy?”

“A hundred and fifty four,” Scamp corrected.

“I’m sure he got at least one,” Mallogory confirmed, causing their daughter to let out a squeal as she zoomed back to the TV, coming to a stop as she stared blankly at the screen.

Leaning into her wife, Mallogory asked in a hushed tone. “Did you get everything on her list?”

“Yeah, everything but two things,” Scamp whispered. “I couldn’t find a life sized Goku doll. And I was not going to give our daughter any kind of superpowers. No matter how many times she begged in those letters for her to learn how to do a… I’m not even going to try and say that word.”

“She’ll be alright,” Mallogory said as she pulled her wife into her. They both stared at their daughters back as she watched her TV show. “We made that.”

“Unfortunately,” Scamp jokes, getting a playful slap on the shoulder from her wife.

Suddenly Shayla let out a gasp and turned around, eyes wide. “What if he doesn’t know where we live?! Last year we were on vacation, so what if he doesn’t know I exist?!”

“He knows, honey,” Scamp assured her.

“But how do you know?!”

“Because she’s your mother, she knows everything,” Mallogory pointed out, getting a confident nod from Scamp.

“Exactly. Don’t worry, sweetie. Santa isn’t going to miss our house.”

“Promise?!” Shayla asked as she zoomed up to the coffee table, staring at them with intense eyes as she seemed to be panicking. “Because if he misses us, I won’t get any presents!”

“Breath, baby,” Scamp said calmly, reaching out with a bag leg to shake the table, causing her to wobble about. “He’s not going to miss us. I’ve spoken with him personally, he said he knows where you live.”

“You’ve talked to Santa?!” Shayla asked in astonishment.

“Yep,” Scamp said with a sly smile. “But he did say that if you didn’t take a bath and brush your teeth before bed that he’d skip the house.”

“What?! NO!” Shayla shrieked as she barreled through the table, sending it flying as she flew down the hallway, followed by the bathroom door slamming shut.

“Don’t lie to our daughter,” Mallogory said, trying not to laugh.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Scamp snickered, getting up and taking their cups to the kitchen.

As she refilled the cups, she heard her wife let out a laugh.

“What?” Scamp asked, a smile on her face.

“Nothing. I just miss feeling like she does on Christmas Eve, and being able to believe in something like Santa Clause,” Mallogory said as she stepped into the kitchen as well.

“Eh, I enjoy playing along,” Scamp admitted. “Pretending there’s a fat jolly human man flying around delivering presents to all the kids in the world is actually pretty fun. Absurd as hell, but fun.”

“She loves it,” Mallogory said as she began to prepare some food for everyone. “Absurdity is fun for children her age.”

“Honestly she’ll believe anything we tell her,” Scamp chuckled. Then a look flashed across her face. “Oh boy, we could really fuck her up couldn’t we?”

“Oh for sure,” Mallogory agreed. “But there’s nothing wrong with her thinking Santa is real. Right?”

“I mean…” Scamp began, tapping her hoof. “She did create an altar to him last week.”

“Ah yeah, she was praying to him like he was a God. We might need to figure out how to fix that at some point.”

“She’ll probably forget about him after Christmas, or at least till next year. So I say we let it play out.”

The two women shared a look before breaking down into laughter.

This was cut short as their daughter rushed into the kitchen, soaking wet with soap spuds still clinging to her body.

“GUYS!” she screamed, looking to be in a panic again. “What if he forgets my life sized official Goku action figure?!”

“Yikes…” Scamp muttered as she and her wife moved to try and control their daughter. Again.

Later that night

Scamp slowly creaked the door open, peeking her head into her daughter's room. She was pleased to see Shayla was sound asleep under her large pile of covers and pillows. Slowly she pulled out and closed the door, then moved across the hall to her and Mallogory’s room.

Upon entering the room, she saw her wife laying in bed, playing a video game on the TV that sat at the front of the bed.

“She down?” She asked as Scamp slid into bed next to her.

“Out like a light,” Scamp confirmed, lifting up her book she’d been reading.

“When are you going to go put her presents under the tree?”

“I’ll give it an hour, after I read a few chapters,” Scamp answered. “That way she doesn’t hear me and walk in on me.”

“Good call,” Mallogory said as she focused on her game.

Later, 12 in the morning

Scamp jerked awake, sitting forward breathing heavily. Her book, which she’d fallen asleep reading, was sent flying as she looked around the dark room. Mallogory was asleep next to her, with not another sound to be heard in the house.

The moment she saw the time she sprang out of bed, rushing for the door. “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!” she muttered, worried that her daughter might have woken up early in her excitement. But to her relief, she found Shayla still passed out in her bed.

Relieved, she moved into the living room and opened her personal dimension, slowly pulling out all the presents they’d gotten for Shayla. She carefully laid them out below the tree, making sure they all said ‘From: Santa’.

Taking a step back, she admired her handy work. A nice little pile of presents, just waiting for the little monster known as Shayla to come and tear into them.

The thought brought a smile to her face as she moved to the kitchen to pour her some more eggnog. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of some of her alcohol.

“Don’t mind if I do,” she muttered to herself as she took it and poured a bit into her nog.

She just stood there, eyes closed as she slowly sipped at her drink, just enjoying the moment.

But a sound made her ear twitch. Something strange seemed to pass through her mind, seeming to make her tired, but her mind resisted the sudden urge to just fall asleep. Blinking, she caught the slightest glimpse of swirling golden magic trailing away from her and into the living room.

Her eye narrowed as she gently put her cup down, stealthily moving towards the door to the living room. Something felt off to her, but she pressed forward.

As she reached the door and peeked in, she saw a large figure standing before the lit up Christmas tree, seeming to be going through a bag.

Her eye narrowed, as anger filled her at the thought someone had the audacity to not only enter her house, but also to seemingly be trying to steal her shit.

Without a sound, moving so swiftly she didn’t even disturb the clutter on the floor, she moved on the figure.

The figure spun on her just as she reached them, landing a powerful kick to its midsection. The powerful hit sent the figure flying through the living room and through the window, sending them into the darkness outside.

The sound of Shayla letting out a panicked yelp was heard, but Scamp didn’t care as she jumped through the window, prepared to continue the fight. But instead she found the intruder buried in the snow, only their red suit visible with their limbs being the only thing sticking up.

“What the fuck?” she muttered, realizing it was someone dressed as Santa Clause. “Hey, fucker, you alive?” she asked, giving his boot a kick. But she didn’t get a response. “Ah shit,” she said, shaking her head. She may have hit them a bit too hard.

“Whoa!” came the voice of her daughter from the window. “Is that Santa?!”

“Stay inside, Shayla,” Scamp ordered, but her daughter ignored her, jumping out and landing beside her.

“You killed him?!” she shrieked, eyes wide.

“I didn’t kill him,” Scamp said as she grabbed his boot and began to shake it. “Come on, buddy. Up and attem.”

“You killed Santa Clause!!” Shayla exclaimed.

“No, I killed someone DRESSED like Santa,” Scamp reasoned, but at the look on her daughter's face, she added. “But I didn’t kill him. He’s just… sleeping.”

“But he looks dead to me…” Shayla mumbled, reaching out and touching the boot.

“Well he’s not. Now head back inside so I-” Scamp began, but her head snapped up as she heard something on the roof. She and Shayla moved around the house to get a better view.

“What the…” Scamp began, confusion on her face as she was faced with a strange sight.

“It is Santa!” Shayla cried out. “You killed Santa!”

“No I didn’t!” Scamp yelled, eye locked to the full team of reindeer attached to a sleigh on her roof. This didn’t make sense to her rational thinking mind.

Shayla took off running back around the house to the downed intruder, followed by Scamp. But when they returned, they found nothing but the man’s clothing laying in the snow. As if he’d just faded away leaving them there.

“Where’d he go?” Shayla asked, poking at the clothing.

Scamp looked around, her gaze narrowed. “This freak is running around here naked somewhere…”

“Momma, look!” Shayla said, pointing at an envelope with Scamp’s name on it.

Slowly, Scamp lifted the envelope and opened it to reveal a letter.

“What’s it say?!” Shayla asked.

“You’ve done a naughty act tonight, Scamp,” she began, reading the note with a skeptical tone. “To fix your mistake, you must finish my duty before the day's break, or Christmas will be finished forevermore. Don the suit, and the reindeer will do the rest.”

“What’s that mean, momma?”

“It means we’re calling the police. There’s a naked creep running around,” Scamp said, grabbing her daughter to take her inside.

“But the note!” Shayla whined, but Scamp ignored her.

However, before she could drag her daughter inside, a bag fell from above and landed in front of her.

Shayla gasped. “Santa’s bag!”

“No, a burglar's bag,” Scamp corrected, but her daughter ignored her as she lunged for the bag, pulling it open and stuffing her head in. She began to pull out all kinds of boxes of different shapes. The more she pulled out, the more Scamp realized something was up.

“Look momma! It’s magical!” Shayla exclaimed happily, still pulling out boxes as the bag remained the same size.

“No, it’s probably got dimensional tech built into it,” Scamp pointed out, but this didn’t sway her daughter’s excitement. “Now go inside before I-”

She was cut off as her daughter jumped up and flew to the roof, leaving behind the pile of boxes.

“Great,” Scamp muttered, turning around and picking up the discarded clothes. “Just what we needed.” Once she’d gathered the clothes, she jumped up to the roof, watching her Daughter run around the docile reindeer.

“This is amazing, momma!” Shayla yelled, eyes wide with glee as she ran under the large beast.

“Get away from them,” Scamp warned. “They could be dangerous, and I don’t want to have to kill them to protect your dumbass.”

Almost to mock her, one of the reindeer leaned down and licked Shayla’s head, leaving a large cowlick.

“You just bathed,” Scamp groaned, dropping the clothes and moving towards her daughter. “Now, go inside.” But instead of listening, Shayla jumped into the sleigh itself. “Shayla Beltosh,” Scamp said in a stern tone.

“But momma!” Shayla whined. “It’s Santa’s sleigh!”

“No it’s just a cheap replica,” Scamp said, stepping up and seeing the fine workmanship of the wood itself. “Or someone just has too much money.”

“Look!” Shayla said, lifting a scroll. “It’s the list! THE LIST!”

“The list,” Scamp repeated, her patience wearing thin.

Shayla opened it, causing a light to shine from it as it listed her name and all her deeds. “Whoa! I’m on the nice list!”

“Shocker,” Scamp muttered. “I don’t know how when you don’t listen. Now, inside!”

“But-”

“Shayla Parker Beltosh!” Scamp said sternly, causing her daughter to finally listen. Head hung low, the young filly jumped down from the sleigh. She slowly walked past her mother, eyes down.

“I’m sorry, mother…” she said quietly, trying to hide her sniffles as tears began to flow.

Scamp watched her slowly walk to the edge of the roof, letting out a deep sigh as she looked to the sky. “Fuck,” she muttered before looking back to her daughter. “Stop, honey.”

Shayla looked back, sadness still on her little face.

“If I put on the damn suit, would you feel better?”

This brightened her daughter's face instantly. “Does that mean you’ll listen to the letter?!”

“No,” Scamp stated. “Just the suit. Take it or leave it.”

“Put it on!” Shayla exclaimed, her sadness seeming to be completely gone now.

Reluctantly, Scamp picked up the red jacket with white puffy trim. “I mean this shit is for a human, it won’t fit a- I’ll be fucking damned,” she said in surprise as she put it on, finding it to somehow fit her exactly. The same thing could be said for the pants and boots. “This shit is fucking stupid…”

“It’s Christmas magic, momma!” Shayla pointed out, jumping with glee.

The moment she put the hat on, the bag from below shot up to the roof and landed next to her, as did the scroll Shayla had found. The scroll floated before her and opened, revealing a few locations. The words “Nice List” were written at the top.

Her daughter flew up and landed on her back, peering at the scroll over her head. “Are those the houses you have to deliver presents to?!”

“No, because that’s not happening,” Scamp said, swatting the list away. But it came back, now displaying a new message.

‘If you fail, Christmas is over. Forever.’

“Momma no!” Shayla cried out. “Don’t kill Santa AND Christmas! Please!”

“Shayla, there’s no way I’m-”

The list changed again to say, ‘Yes, if you do not do this, you will have killed Christmas.’

“Sassy fucking scroll, aren’t ya?” Scamp mumbled, taking a deep breath.

“Please momma?” Shayla begged, hugging her mother. “Don’t kill Christmas.”

“Fucking hell,” Scamp groaned as she spun around and grabbed the bag. “Guess we’re doing this.”

“Yay!” Shayla yelled, jumping from her mothers back and rushing for the sleigh.

As she tossed the bag into the sleigh and climbed in, she had the thought of letting Mallogory know what was going on. But then she realized she’d have to be seen wearing these clothes, and that was enough for her to forget that thought.

“Where are we going first?!” Shayla asked as she bounced around the seats of the sleigh.

Grumbling, Scamp looked at the floating scroll. “Well?”

Instead of answering her, the reindeer lurched forward, taking to the sky without warning. While Shayla let out a joyous scream of delight, Scamp just sat there, looking more like the grinch than a Santa Claus.

It wasn’t long before they landed on a house, coming in faster than Scamp would have thought possible. Yet they had no trouble as the sleigh came to a stop.

“Now what, oh magical scroll?” Scamp asked, glaring at the floating paper. To answer her, the bag lifted up, seeming to wait for her to grab it. “Alright,” Scamp sighed, looking at her daughter. “Just stay here and do not leave. Okay?”

“But I want to come with you!” Shayla protested.

“Maybe at the next house, just let me figure out how this works,” Scamp said as she grabbed the floating bag.

Golden magic flowed around her as she lifted up and began to hover towards the tiny chimney. Upon seeing the tiny hole, she sighed. “This’ll either hurt, or look really stupid.”

Shayla only clapped excitedly as her mother was suddenly sucked into the hole, leaving nothing but a puff of yellow particles.

Moments later Scamp found herself in the middle of a dimly lit living room, a large Christmas on the other side of the room. She grumbled to herself as she trudged towards the decorated tree, kicking any object in her way. As she reached the tree she grabbed the bag and reached into it, finding a box readily available.

Without a care she pulled it out and threw it under the tree, sending the other presents already there scattering across the floor. Turning to leave, she felt the bag tug her back to the tree. This just annoyed her as she rounded on the bag, glaring at it.

“What? What else do I need to do?!”

To answer her, the bag opened, revealing a few more presents.

In frustration, she grabbed the bottom of the bag and dumped the presents all over the floor, using her hoof to kick them under the tree. As she turned to leave, the bag got caught on the tree, causing it to fall towards her.

“Yeah, of course that happens,” she growled as she began to kick and punch the tree, taking her frustrations out on it. She flung it back against the wall and began laying into it, sending ornaments and pine needles everywhere.

“Santa?” came a small voice behind her, causing her to stop her assault on the poor pine.

Cursing under her breath, she turned to see a small colt standing in the doorway to the living room, a confused look on his face. He looked from her to the tree, which was missing the majority of its branches and decorations at this point.

“What happened to our tree, Mr. Santa?” he asked innocently. Before she could respond, the colt flicked on the light, fully revealing the room. “Wait, Santa isn’t a girl…”

“Er, you’re right, kiddo,” she said quickly, using her back hoof to stand the tree back up fully. “I’m his number one helper, I step in to help when he’s busy. And he’s VERY busy tonight,” she lied, fully turning to face him.

“What’s wrong with your face?” The colt’s expression suddenly changed from confusion to horror. “You don’t work for Santa! You’re the Grinch!” He began to scream like a siren, causing Scamp to panic.

She moved to stop the kid by giving him a present or something, but the sudden appearance of two adults coming up behind him stopped her.

“Lil’Jambal, what’s wro- WHO ARE YOU?!” the stallion yelled as he and the woman pulled the kid back and got in front of him.

“How’d you get in our house?!” The mare yelled, both fear and anger on her face.

“It’s the Grinch, it broke in and is stealing Christmas!” the colt yelled from the back, trying to push past his parents.

“A burglar?! ON CHRISTMAS?!” the stallion roared as he stepped towards Scamp, who was currently standing there awkwardly.

“I’ll ring the police!” the mare yelled as she whipped out her phone.

“Now don’t do that, let’s talk this out, reasonably,” Scamp said, holding up a hoof.

“The only talking you’re doing is to the cops!” the father yelled as he moved towards her.

“I’m literally Santa right now,” Scamp reasoned, but the moment she said it she cringed, as it was probably the stupidest thing she’d ever said.

“And I’m the Queen of Equestria! Get on the ground!” the stallion ordered as he picked up a bat that’d been by the couch.

“Okay I’m done,” Scamp mumbled as she reached into her pocket dimension and withdrew a gun. “You get on the ground.”

This caused everyone to freeze, eyes wide as she pointed the gun at them.

“Yeah, I didn’t want it to come to this. Drop the bat, old man,” she ordered, causing him to throw the bat to the side and jump back to grab his family. “Phone too, lady.” The mare tossed the phone to Scamp, who just crushed it with her mechanical hoof. “Alright, get on the couch. Move.”

Once she had them on the couch, she restrained them. With that done, she moved back to the tree. The terrified family watched her set it back up fully and put the presents under the tree properly.

With that done she walked to the table that held the milk and cookies, picking one up to eat it.

“Hey, those are for Santa!” the colt yelled.

“I am Santa, tard monkey!” she snapped back, tossing the cookie at the family, causing them to flinch away. Chugging the milk, she moved to the chimney, turning to face them one last time. “Merry Christmas.”

With that, she tugged on the bag, sending her flying back up the chimney, landing before an excited Shayla.

“What was it like, Momma?!”

Scamp rolled her eyes, moving her daughter towards the sleigh. “It’s dumb, honey.”

“Being Santa can’t be dumb though!” she protested, getting a chuckle out of Scamp.

“You’d be surprised,” she said as she lifted the scroll. “Where to next?”

The list showed a location, causing the reindeer to take to the sky.

2 hour later

Scamp let out an annoyed groan as they took off again, heading for the next house. Every single house she’d gone to was the same thing.

She’d at least figured out how to actually use the scroll to pick the next person on the list. But that didn’t really help her, as she could care less who she went to next.

However, unlike the last few hours, the list wasn’t showing her the next house.

“Are we done? Can we go home now?” Scamp asked, shaking the list, waking up Shayla who’d fallen asleep next to her on the sleigh.

“What?! No! I haven’t gotten to see you do Santa stuff yet!” Shayla protested, looking mildly panicked.

To answer them, the scroll changed to red, with the words at the top changing to ‘Naughty List’. New names and locations appeared on the list.

“This was not part of the deal,” Scamp deadpanned, shaking the list. But the list did not change, causing her to groan. “Fine.”

“Yay!” Shayla exclaimed happily. “Can I PLEASE come with you this time?!”

Scamp closed her eye, taking a deep breath before nodding.

“You’re the best momma ever!” Shayla screamed, jumping in to hug her mother.

“Remember that the next time I need you to clean the house,” Scamp said with a small smile as the sleigh came down on the house.

The list displayed the name ‘Alvin Nebcake’, which caused her to raise an eyebrow. The name was familiar, but she couldn’t remember where she’d seen it before.

“Alright, come on,” she said as she jumped from the sleigh, followed closely by her excited daughter. The pair made their way to the chimney, and in the usual flair were lifted up and taken down into the house below.

Coming into the living room, Scamp saw a dirty room filled with beer cans and old food. Clearly the home of a slob.

“A kid lives in this shit?” she hissed. Looking around she didn't even see a tree. Reaching into the bag she pulled out a tiny christmas tree and a lump of coal. “Well that’s fitting at least,” she commented as she gave the two items to her daughter. “Go put those in the corner.”

“On it, momma!” Shayla said with a cute salute as she took the items and flew to the corner where she began clearing trash to set up the tree.

While she did that Scamp moved around the room, shaking her head at the state of everything. “Who could live like-” she stopped as she saw a picture of a stallion hanging on the wall. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized them as someone she’d seen on the news. “Alvin fuckin’ Nebcake,” she growled. “Shayla, take your time, mommy needs to do something.”

“Santa stuff?” Shayla asked as she continued her work.

“No, mommy stuff,” she said as she entered the hall and walked towards the one room that had sound coming from it.

Pushing the door open she saw a stallion laid out on the bed, beer cans all around him as he snored. Eye narrowed, she stepped up to the bed and yanked the stallion onto the floor roughly, causing him to yell and flail around on the ground.

Once he recovered, he jumped up to stand face to face with Scamp. “What the fuck?! How’d you get in my fucking house?!”

“Alvin Nebcake, convicted rapist and child abuser,” Scamp said coldly as her hoof shot out, sending him flying back into his TV, shattering it and his back legs in the process. “Bonded out and disappeared without a trace.”

The only response she received was his screams of pain as he held his broken legs.

She lifted the list, seeing his name and all his misdeeds. Her frown deepened as she read. “You’ve… been busy,” she growled. Slamming the scroll shut.

As she advanced on him, he held up a hoof, eyes wide in horror, “wait wait wait! I got money!”

“Cool,” she said as she grabbed his head in her hooves. Moments later her suit became a bit redder.

A few minutes later

Scamp returned to the living room to see her daughter finishing up her task.

“Look!” Shayla yelled, proudly showing off the tree and lump of coal under it. “I got it just right!”

“Good work, honey,” Scamp praised as she waved for her daughter to come to her.

“Can I do the next one, too?” Shayla asked as they moved for the chimney.

Scamp thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Sure, honey. In fact, you can help on all the following houses.”

“Really?!” Shayla yelled as they shot up onto the roof. “Thank you, momma!!”

Scamp only nodded as she pulled out the list, inspecting each of the names on the naughty list, noticing they all seemed to be just as bad, if not worse, than the guy below.

“Oh, this is going to be great,” Scamp muttered, a devilish idea hitting her as the sleigh took to the sky.

The moment they landed at the next house, she took her daughter down with her, sending her to do the same as the last house. This one was not as dirty, but Scamp didn’t care as she made her way to the bedroom.

Kicking the door open, she caused the stallion on the bed to let out a scream of terror.

“Like touching kids, eh?” she yelled as she lifted a small christmas tree. “Guess where this is going!”

His screams were barely heard by little Shayla as she worked, putting the tree up and placing the lump of coal beneath it. She stepped back and admired her work, moving forward to fix a few of the branches till she had it right.

Soon, her mother returned and they returned to the sleigh. She took notice that her mother seemed to be in a much better mood now, which made her happy.

At the next house, Shayla was given the little tree and the coal as her mother picked up a fire poker, heading for the back of the house. Shayla didn’t know what she was doing, but she had her own job to do.

With her job done, she heard her mother laughing as she returned to the living room.

“What’s funny, momma?” Shayla asked.

“I just made a really good joke is all,” she answered, still giggling to herself.

“What’s the joke?” Shayla asked innocently.

“You’re not old enough for that one,” Scamp chuckled as she scooped her daughter up and flew out the window instead of taking the chimney. They returned to the sleigh and Scamp all but forced the reindeer to take to the sky, looking very happy.

Shayla was not used to seeing her mother this excited about anything not related to her or the dojo, but she liked it.

“Best Christmas ever,” Shayla mumbled as she leaned against her mother as they flew for the next house.

Hours later, almost sunrise

“Aw… no more names?” Scamp asked dejectedly as the list now showed no more names on the naughty list. “Come on, there has to be more.”

“I dunno, momma. We did like what, a hundred houses with naughty ponies in them. That has to be all of them, right?” Shayla asked, her tired eyes barely staying open.

“1,302 actually,” Scamp muttered, having kept track of each one. Turning the list over, she sighed, realizing the fun was over. She’d really cleaned up that night, but she knew there had to be more ‘naughty ponies’ out there. Either she got them all or the list was holding out on her.

The sleigh came down again, and she was disappointed to see they were back home.

“So we’re done?” Scamp asked, shaking the list. “You give me the best night ever and then you dump me? Typical magical scroll behavior.”

She tossed it over her shoulder, letting it land in the back of the sleigh she picked up her daughter and jumped down.

“Tonight was amazing, momma,” Shayla mumbled, already giving in to the sleep.

“Oh, it was the best,” Scamp agreed, a smile on her face. As she reached the edge of the roof, she looked back to see the sleigh was gone. Seeming to have just disappeared, leaving only a few traces of golden magic in the air.

“Hm.” She continued inside, going through the shattered window and taking her daughter back to her room. Carefully she laid Shayla in her bed and left her room, returning to her own.

Mallogory stirred the moment she opened the door, sitting up and raising an eyebrow at Scamp.

“Why are you dressed as Santa Clause?” she asked.

“Long story,” Scamp chuckled as she took a seat on the bed.

“Next question,” Mallogory began, looking her over. “Why are you covered in gore?”

“You’ll love the answer to that one,” Scamp assured her with a wide smile.

“Worrying, but let’s hear it,” Mallogory chuckled.

“Starting this off, apparently Santa is real and I was him tonight,” Scamp said.

“Huh, you’d make a terrible Santa,” Mallogory teased. “But wait, WHY were you Santa tonight?”

“Oh,” Scamp said, waving her hoof at her wife. “I think because I killed Santa I became him? I’m not really sure on the rules there.”

“Scamp…” Mallogory whined, shaking her head. “You’re not supposed to kill Santa. What would Shayla say if she knew?”

“Oh, she was there for it,” Scamp laughed, getting a deadpanned look from her wife. “Oh she loved it! Best time of her life!”

Mallogory stared at her for a few moments before sighing, trying to hide her smile. “And you left me out of this apparent adventure.”

“Eh, yeah,” Scamp said sheepishly as she rubbed her neck.

“So, where’d the blood and guts come from?”

At this, Scamp smirked. “Now THAT is the fun part.”

Later

“The police are calling last night's massacres an act of vigilantism,” the news reporter said, reading from their notes. “Reports of a crazed mare breaking and entering dressed as Santa Clause are thought to be connected to the murders. Multiple families are traumatized as they say they were terrorized by a mare some are describing as ‘a ghoul from the pits of hell’, while some are calling her the ‘worse than the Grinch’ as she stole Christmas from many tonight. She left presents addressed ‘from Santa’ but in the process she left mental scars on all those she encountered.”

Mallogory raised her eyebrow at Scamp as they sat on the couch in Lance’s living room as the kids ran around before them, opening presents. Scamp just smiled innocently at her as everyone else kept their eyes on the TV.

“What kind of sick fuck would do this,” Lance growled. “On Christmas of all days! No offense, Cody.”

“Why would I take offense to that?” Cody asked from his seat.

“And they murdered over a THOUSAND ponies on top of that!” Lance continued.

“Eh, maybe the ones who actually died deserved it,” Scamp pointed out, getting a sour look from Lance.

“No one should die on Christmas,” he grumbled, sitting back down and going back to staring at the TV.

“Momma!” Shayla whined as she and Dude ran up to her and Mallogory. “Dude doesn’t believe me when I tell him you were Santa last night!”

Scamp’s eye widened as she leaned towards her daughter. “Now, honey, you can’t tell anyone about last night.”

“What?! WHY?” Shayla yelled, getting everyone's attention.

“Because,” Scamp said, pulling her close to whisper in her ear. “If you do, you’ll never get any more presents on Christmas OR your birthday.”

“No…” Shayla whimpered. “You can’t do this to me…”

“Sorry, kid. Santa rules, we can’t go against them,” Scamp said as she sat back, causing everyone else to go back to watching the TV.

“Fineeeeeeee,” Shayla groaned, turning and leaving with Dude who began teasing her about what she’d said.

“Close call,” Mallogory said, getting a nod from Scamp.

“It’s better if we for-” Scamp began, but looking past her wife she saw Santa himself standing outside the window, waving at her.

“Son of a bitch,” she mumbled, looking at her wife. “Cover for me.”

“What do you-” Mallogory began, but Scamp had already dove over the back of the couch and was sprinting for the front door.

“... she has to take a dump?” Mallogory said as everyone looked at her.

“Ah, yeah, I get it,” Greg said, nodding his head in understanding.

Outside, Scamp rounded the house to come face to face with the jolly fat man.

“Mind explaining something to me?” She asked in an angry tone. When he didn’t respond, she continued. “You have a list with all the really bad ponies on it, yet you just give them coal? Every single one on your naughty list was some of the worst ponies in Equestria, most of them on the run from the police. And you do NOTHING with that info?!”

Santa just smiled at her as he held up his list, showing both the nice list and naughty list. The nice list was filled with names, while the other was now devoid of any names.

“That didn’t answer- Wait you’re not dead!” Scamp yelled, pointing an accusatory hoof at him.

This caused him to let out a hearty laugh, which only angered her further.

“What the fuck was the point then?” She asked.

To answer her, he just tapped the side of the scroll with the naughty list, a wide smile on his face.

Realization dawned on her. “No fucking way… did you just use me to do what you couldn’t do?” At his wink, she laughed. “You sly dog. You didn’t have to do the whole show, I’d have gladly done it without all the extra work.”

Santa just closed his list and pulled a box out, tossing it to her.

She caught it as she kept her focus on him. “What’s this?” she asked, flipping the top off the box to reveal a piece of cloth. Pulling it out, she realized it was the new headband she’d wanted, one with her Dojo’s logo. The idea of this being her reward for her actions that night caused her to start laughing loudly, tears falling from her eyes as she laughed harder than she had in a while.

“Scamp, are you okay?!” Lance asked as he ran up behind her.

“Yeah I’m-” she began, looking up to see Santa was gone now. “I’m good. Just thought of a funny joke.”

“Oh cool, mind telling me?” he asked, but she stood up and walked past him, patting his shoulder as she passed.

“Merry Christmas, Lance,” she said, heading back inside.

“Okay, but what was the joke??” he asked, appearing confused.

As she reached the front door, she saw Santa standing next to it.

“Same time next year?” she asked.

He just smiled and faded away in a puff of golden magic.

“Scamp, what was the joke??” Lance asked as he caught up, but she ignored him as she entered the house, closing the door behind her. “Come on,” he groaned as he looked to the ground. But the sight of a box with his name on it brightened his day.

Like a child he grabbed it and ripped it open, happiness on his face. But a frown appeared as he looked into the box. Tipping it over a lump of coal fell out.

He fell to his knees before the coal and threw his hooves to the sky. “I brought you into this world! STOP GIVING ME COAL EVERY YEAR YOU FAT FUCK!”

In the distance jolly laughter could be heard as Lance roared at the sky in anger.