Author's Note

I wrote this chapter solely for enjoyment. It's canon, but it's meant to be a fun read, so I hope it tickles your fancy.

Living the Dream: Jumanji

Living the Dream: Jumanji

Lance stepped into the Mellowed Pie with a pep in his step. He was excited; after the events with Frederic and the disastrous reunion with Fawn, he was itching to do something. Anything other than housework. That was for sure.

To his surprise, Greg had requested his presence—post haste. It must be important!

“Yo, Lance!” Greg called out as Lance entered the kitchen, rolling around in his fancy-ass wheelchair. “You came fast as fuck, I just sent you the text.”

“I’m just looking for an excuse to get out,” Lance admitted, taking a taco from a plate and downing it.

Greg gave him a blank stare. “Bro, don’t eat my customer's food.”

“They shouldn’t have left it there,” Lance countered, getting a laugh out of Greg. “Now, what did you need?”

Greg rolled over and picked up the plate, returning it to the prep area to replace the stolen taco. “So, I have a favor.”

“Fuck yeah, what’s up?”

“So, you know how I always used to take those yearly trips?”

It took Lance a moment to recall what he was talking about, but then he remembered Greg did indeed head out for a few weeks at a time every year back before the Watcher arc. He never asked why, though. It was just Greg shit, probably.

“What about them?”

“Well,” Greg said, spinning to face him. “I would go check on my clone and make sure he wasn’t up to anything. But after the fight with the Watcher, I couldn’t do it in person, so I had to send a third party to check on it. Some little shit kid I’d pay a few bits to. Well! It turns out the kid is a slick little fucker because I just found out he’s NEVER even left this damn town. He’d take my money and then go hide for a few weeks, then lie to me about what my clone was up to.”

Lance just had to chuckle at this. Classic Greg, indeed. “So what’s that mean? Good? Bad?”

“Dunno, but I need you to go check on him. He’s probably up to some skim or some shit. Could be anything since he’s had zero supervision all this time.

“Hm,” Lance thought for a moment. This was a chance to get out and not have to deal with any of his current problems. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Sweet,” Greg chuckled as he tossed Lance an envelope. “Location is in there. Report back to me with any news you find out. And if he’s being retarded or some shit, break whatever he’s doing and bring him home if you can.”

Lance saluted him and turned to rush out, thoroughly excited for the first time in weeks. A thought hit him, and he knew what needed to be done.

Guys trip!

ooo000<^>000ooo

It took a little bit of work and convincing, but Lance was able to gather a FEW people to bring with him on the adventure. He was a bit depressed, as it was now that he realized just how many of his friends were no longer around. Unlike in the past, he didn’t have a lot of guy friends. So he compromised a bit here and there.

“Holy shit, I’ve never been on a guy's trip before!” Jun exclaimed, clearly excited. He hadn’t been happy to see Lance after everything that had happened, but the moment Lance told him he was planning a guys-only trip, Jun broke instantly and agreed.

“Same!” Louie said, just as excited. “I’ve been a fucking dog this whole time and NEVER got to do anything! GUYS TRIP!” He and Jun slammed heads together, knocking each other to the ground.

Domitor stared at the two idiots and sighed. “I’m regretting this already,” he said, rubbing his face. He’d declined, but Floria and Shayla started making fun of him for being an ‘anti-social pussy’, so he didn’t have much choice.

“Cheer up, kid,” Mark said, slapping his back. “Guy trips are ALWAYS fun. You’ll go home and wish you were back with the boys. Guaranteed.” He was back in his pony form, more for Lance than himself.

Lance smiled at his group, he could work with this.

“Why the fuck am I here then?” Lacy asked, looking unamused.

“Because,” Lance said in a tone that implied the answer was obvious. “You’re basically a dude.”

“Thanks, bro,” Lacy deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah!” Jun added. “You like girls just like us, so you’re cool!”

“I’m straight, you dumb fucking retard,” Lacy countered, confusing Jun.

“But,” he said, looking to Lance for help. “I’m not gay. If she likes men, does that mean WE like men?”

Lance started to make fun of him, but he stopped, rubbing his chin. “Uh… no?”

“No, you morons,” Lacy groaned. “Because with that logic, I’d have to like woman, and I…” she trailed off, suddenly perplexed. “Oh fuck… AM I supposed to like women?”

The three regular guys stared at the three stripped idiots, not even looking phased by this interaction. After allowing the three stripped ponies to have an actual identity crisis, Mark finally spoke up.

“Alright, alright, enough, we checking on this Greg clone or what?”

This broke Lance from his stupor and he smiled. “AH! Ye! We should get going, we can finish this conversation on the airship.”

As everyone began walking away, Jun stayed looking at his hooves. “What if,” he muttered, looking to the sky. “I am gay?”

“Then you kill yourself,” a little colt said from a nearby bench.

Jun thought for a moment and gave a nod, throwing a bit to the kid. “Keep slaying, kid.”

ooo000<^>000ooo

Two days later

Lance and his crew walked down the street, following signs pointing them toward a place aptly named Kushville. They’d landed in the port city nearby and did not have a hard time at all figuring out where Greg’s clone was. Everyone knew who he was, since he was the governor for this region.

“Greg as a governor,” Louie said aloud as they neared a town ahead. “Sounds like the worst idea ever. At least, old Greg.”

“Yeah, but it’s all good, we’re here to put a stop to him,” Lance pointed out.

Domitor frowned at this. “If I can raise a point, but what if he is doing a good job as governor? In that case, wouldn’t we leave him alone?”

“Nah, Greg’s clone can’t be a governor, it’s not right,” Lance countered. “So no matter what, he’s getting taken down.”

“To be fair, bro,” Mark began. “We should at least see how things are going. Dismantling a whole government for the lawls is fun and all, but think of the repercussions.”

Lance rolled his eyes but nodded. “We’ll listen for one minute, then we’re jumping his ass. Good?”

“Perfectly good,” Mark agreed.

But Domitor just shook his head. He would just go along with whatever they wanted to do at this point.

Soon, they came upon the front gates of Kushville, which resembled a compound more than an actual town. No one was in sight, either, so the crew just walked in unimpeded. They took in the area, noticing it at least looked clean and nice, much better than expected. Lance, for sure, thought weed shit would be everywhere, but other than the name, there wasn’t anything of the sort. In sight, at least.

Finally, they reached the largest building, with the words ‘Governor’s office’ above the door. Stepping inside, they were greeted by a sweet-looking old pony. She waved at them and ushered them forward.

“Hello!” She exclaimed in an old, gravelly voice. “Can we help you?”

“Yeah, we’re here for Dank Kush,” Lance informed her.

The old lady nodded as she checked her computer. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Nope.”

“Hm, then I’m afraid you’ll have to set one up and come back in a few years. He’s very very busy after all.”

“Lies,” Lance countered, slamming both hooves on the desk, startling her. “I am Lance Greenfield. THE Lance Greenfield! I don’t make appointments.”

“Sir, please don’t be aggressive. Otherwise, I will have to use this,” she said, reaching for something under the desk.

Louie panicked instantly as he saw a tiny piece of something being pulled from the desk. “GUN!” He roared as his John Cena brand training kicked in, and he round-housed the old lady and the entire desk, sending both flying across the room and through a wall.

“Woah!” Lance exclaimed, slapping Louie on the back. “Good save, bro!”

Domitor flew over quickly and moved some debris off the old lady. She was still buried in the rubble as she held her hoof up, holding up a frowny face sticker.

“I was just… going to threaten… to give you a bad colt sticker…” she said before passing out.

“Guys!” Domitor yelled, looking back at the group in shock.

“Fuck!” Lance yelled, looking at Louie again. “Good call with that attack, bro.”

“I got your back, man!” Louie said proudly.

“Please don’t hurt the staff,” a soft and slightly nasally voice said from behind them. They all turned to see a tall figure standing on two feet, staring at them. The figure threw them all off, as it resembled a Kejtdra in body shape, but it was more pony than Kejtdra. It had red stripes all over its body, just like the striped trio. It even had white splotches over it’s dark green fur that reminded them of Grace. And its face was shaped just like a pony. The only true Kejtdra feature it had was the tail. Its hair was exactly like Frederic’s when he was in his Darksteel Edge form but colored like Richard’s, a fact that made Lance frown.

“This guy sounds like a pussy,” Lacy commented.

“You are what you eat,” the weird figure said.

“What?” Lacy asked, taken aback.

“Please don’t hurt the staff members,” he repeated.

“Or what?” Louie asked.

The large man looked straight at Domitor and smiled awkwardly. “You have nice features.”

“Uh, thanks?” Domitor said, perplexed.

Before the conversation could continue, a pair of doors at the end of the room burst open and Dank Kush himself rushed in.

“What is going—LANCE?!” he yelped, seeing Lance and his crew standing there. “Did Greg send you?!”

“Yep!” Lance laughed, ignoring the odd figure before them and focusing on the clone. “Looks like you’ve been busy.”

“I have,” he said, composting himself. “I am a leader now. I am, as you’d say, reformed and a much better version of myself.”

“Shut up, Danky,” Jun interjected, getting a laugh and a hoof bump from Lance.

This irked the clone. “I am Governor Professor Dank Kush,” he snapped before calming himself. “I am sorry. Now, why are you here? Just to check on me and make sure I’m not ‘evil’?”

“Yep, evil clones tend to be evil,” Lance said with a confident nod. “So what evil shit you up to?” He said, looking over at the guy just standing there staring at them. “Is this guy part of some evil plan?”

“I’m not up to an ‘evil plan’,” Dank sighed. “And this,” he said, waving a hoof toward the tall guy. “Is Jumanji. He is my son.”

“Nah, you ain’t fucked nobody,” Lance countered, getting another hoof bump from his brother. “You made that fucker in a lab or some shit.”

“No shit,” Dank groaned, rubbing his face. “But I’m not arguing the point.”

Lance looked back at Jumanji, frowning. “So you named him after a movie?”

“Is this all this visit will consist of?” Dank asked. “Questions of a low caliber?”

“And if it does?” Lance shot back.

“Then I’d rather give you a tour so you can see all is well, and you’ll be on your way.”

“Yeah, let’s do the tour,” Lance nodded.

“Very well, come along,” Dank said, waving for them to follow.

The clone, clearly annoyed, led them further into the building. He pointed out a few decor pieces he was proud of, but not one of the group seemed to care—except Domitor, who politely tried to make nice comments about everything they were shown.

But to Lance’s annoyance, he saw nothing overtly evil. He was a bit disappointed.

As they walked, Jumanji followed them from behind, stoic and a bit meek. Louie let out a surprised yelp as he felt a hand petting his head, causing him to turn to look at the tall man. Jumanji, who was just as tall as Louie, was patting his head.

“Bruh,” Louie said, swatting his hand away.

“You have very soft fur,” Jumanji said.

“Bro stop that shit, I’m a man not a fuckin’ dog,” Louie said in annoyance.

“Bitch said what?” Jumanji said in his nasally voice.

“What?” Louie exclaimed in surprise.

“Good doggy,” Jumanji said, patting Louie again before falling behind the group again.

Louie stared slack-jawed at the guy before moving over and leaned down to speak quietly to Mark. “Yo, this guy is weird!”

“You are a dog, though,” Mark pointed out.

“That’s not the point!”

“So what’s Jumanji’s story?” Lacy asked.

“Like I said, he is my son. I made him from DNA from all of the greatest fighters in this world.”

“Yeah, but he came out sounding and acting like a little bitch,” Jun said, getting a nod of approval from Lance.

“It happens,” Dank muttered in response.

“So you just made a son and plan to use him for evil?” Lance asked, getting another sigh out of Dank.

“No, you moron,” he retorted. “I’ve planned to bring him to your town eventually so he can find a mate. You know, like a good father should do.”

“Does he have a type?” Lacy asked.

Jumanji appeared in the middle of the group. “I like your orange hair,” he said to Domitor, startling the poor stallion.

“He likes what he likes,” Dank answered.

“Well if it turns out you’re not evil,” Lance said, giving a nod. “Then I give my blessing for him to court Domitor here.”

“Lance, you can’t make that decision,” Domitor shot back. “I’m already with—”

“I’m Lance,” Lance chuckled. “So hope for the best here, Jumanji.”

“I promise I’ll treat you well,” Jumanji said.

“I shouldn’t have come,” Domitor groaned.

“Anyway,” Dank said from the front of the group, “this is the main room. This is where I host all my events.”

The room they entered was just a large room; there was nothing special about it. There were just a lot of chairs stacked in one corner and a stage on the other side of the room.

“Lame,” Lacy commented.

“Yes, it is, but this area has a pretty cool feature. I’ll show it to you,” Dank said, clearly annoyed. “In the meantime, feel free to mingle. I have to set everything up for you.”

“You do that,” Lance said, watching Dank move to the stage area. With him gone, everyone turned to look at Jumanji, who just continued to stare at them.

“So what, how’s it being a freak?” Lacy asked.

“Your Lance DNA makes me hate myself,” he responded.

“Good,” Lacy said before blinking. “Wait, you have MY DNA in you?”

“Lol, look Lacy, your long lost kid!” Jun mocked before getting punched in the face by the mare. “Lacy! WHY?!”

“Don’t be a pussy,” she said, looking back to Jumanji. “I guess that makes sense. I am one of the greatest fighters in the world.”

“He said Lance DNA, he’s grouping all three of you together,” Domitor pointed out. “So, not your DNA. Right, big guy?”

“You’re so smart,” Jumanji praised, stepping up to stand over Domitor. “I like your name, Domitor.”

“Thanks?” He said a bit awkwardly.

“But I’ll be the dom,” Jumanji said, causing the others to laugh while Domitor frowned. “You smell like you bathe regularly, too.”

“This is great,” Mark chuckled. “I’m so happy we came here.”

Lights from the stage came on, filling the air with dazzling lights that spelled out Dank’s full name on the far wall. “Pretty epic, right?!” he called out to them, but they just stared back at him unimpressed. This was the cool thing he wanted to show them?

“Fucking sick,” Lance said, impressed at the awesome light show. “Yeah, I don’t think he’s evil anymore.”

“I’m convinced,” Jun agreed.

“Well I’m happy you’re not as dumb as I thought and can see the obvious,” Dank said as he approached them. “I really have turned over a new leaf.”

“Okay, but riddle me this,” Mark said, gesturing to Jumanji. “Why make this skinny fucker using only the greatest fighter's DNA?”

“Because it’s cool?” Dank reasoned.

Mark stared at him hard for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, it is pretty fucking cool. Can’t fault you there.”

“So we’re good?” Dank asked.

“I think so,” Lance chuckled. “Sorry for being a dick earlier.”

“Wait, so a simple light show convinced all of you he’s not evil?” Domitor asked, getting nods and ‘duhs’ from the group. He just sighed and threw up a hoof. “Okay, just making sure I understood the situation.”

Lance started to say something but he saw a weird necklace on Jumanji. “Cool bling, bro. Mind if I try it on?”

“No, that has to stay on,” Dank said. “It controls his inner thoughts for me.”

“Wait,” Lacy said, frowning now. “You're using mind control on him?”

“No,” Dank countered. “I’m just making sure some of his impulses stay in check.”

“Sounds like mind control to me,” Lance commented.

Jun nodded, thinking back to his time with Lilith. “Yeah, bro, controlling someone like this is wack. Be ashamed, fag.”

Lacy made a show of sneezing and let out a violent sneeze, falling toward Jumanji. “Whoops!” she called out dramatically as she grabbed the necklace and ripped it off. “I broke it!”

“You fool!” Dank yelped as he jumped for Jumanji, trying to reconnect the broken clasp of the necklace.

A weird look befell Jumanji’s face as he looked at everyone, but his face twisted into pure rage when he saw Lance and the other two stripped ponies.

“Someone help me, quick!” Dank yelled, failing to fix the necklace. “If you don’t, we’ll all—” he let out a choked cough as Jumanji grabbed him and threw him aside.

He then turned back to the group, seething in rage. “You…” he said, body shaking. “You nasty red stripes!”

“Woah, buddy, don’t be stripist,” Lance said, holding up a hoof.

“You retards!” He roared, his body starting to shift and bulk up. “It’s all your fault, Lance!”

“This dude is starting to sound like Frederic,” Jun pointed out.

“Probably the Freddy DNA in him,” Lacy agreed.

For some reason, no one in their group did anything to stop Jumanji as he stood there, getting angrier and angrier.

“LANCE!” Jumanji roared as the energy burst from his body, his muscles bulking even more.

“What’d I do?” Lance asked, looking at his friends. Before anyone could answer him, a fist slammed into his face and sent him flying away, crashing through a wall.

“Oh, holy shit!” Jun screamed as Jumanji turned for him. “He’s aping out!” The large man’s body shot forward as he kicked Jun straight into the sky, sending him through the roof. Lacy and Louie started to react, but Jumanji grabbed them both and slammed them together, sending them flying in separate directions.

When he turned to Mark and Domitor, the pair jumped back.

“Wait, I need to stretch before we fight!” Mark yelled as he quickly started stretching, but Jumanji zoomed across the ground like he was in an old video game and bodied Mark, sending him sprawling. Finally, he turned to Domitor.

“Shit,” Domitor said as he jumped forward and punched the man in the face with all he had. But when his face didn’t move even an inch, Domitor landed before him and smiled awkwardly. “I would like to apologize for—”

A kick to his face cut him off, but instead of being sent away, Lance caught him.

“Well, this got weird fast,” Lance muttered as Jumanji began screaming again, seemingly getting stronger.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Lacy said as she and the others regrouped around Lance. “He just got lucky with that surprise attack.”

Jun and Lacy transformed into their strongest forms, while Lance could only go into an improved form of Breaking Dawn, thanks to Frederic. Domitor shifted into his Super Saiyan form, while Mark just flexed harder.

“Hold on,” Lance said, shooting across the room and dragging an injured Dank back to them. “Alright, bro, what’s up with this guy? Why is he going crazy?”

“I can’t believe I have to explain this,” Dank groaned. “He has the DNA of everyone you know, and that includes Frederic, who, as we all learned recently, is a full-on psycho. I noticed that early on, but I didn’t realize it was Fred’s DNA causing my son to be evil.”

“So why not just kill him and make one without Freddy DNA?” Jun asked.

“Would you kill your son?” Dank countered.

“If he was just a knockoff Fred? Ye.”

“Then you’re clearly a fool.”

“How do we stop him?” Mark asked.

“You don’t,” Dank replied. “He’s too far above any of you. I will have to make a new necklace. So… distract him for me.”

“Bro,” Lance said, but Dank flashed away with a pop of magic, leaving them with the still-screaming Jumanji. “Screw it, we can take him.”

With another explosion of energy, Jumanji stopped screaming and turned to face them, his face stoic with a smirk on it. He was now a totally different person, as he was now built like a brick shithouse. Pure muscle and malice.

“Yeah, I don’t think we can,” Mark countered.

“We just have to rely on each other,” Lance assured him.

Louie cheered loudly. “We got the power of friendship on our side, bros! He’s got nothing!”

“He’s just a lonely fag who thinks he’s cool!” Lacy added.

“Exactly! We believe in each other; nothing can stop us!” Lance yelled.

“Yeah! I believe!” Jun roared as he shot forward, followed by everyone else.

As they neared, Jumanji remained stationary, a smirk forming on his face. “Yes, come to me,” he said, his voice suddenly very deep and rough. “I will make you wish for rape.”

“Wait, what did he just say?!” Jun yelped just as a large hand closed over his face and yanked him hard.

Jumanji began swinging Jun around like a weapon, crashing him into Lacy and then using him to fend off an attack from Lance. With a roar, he leaped forward and pinned Louie down, and with a crazy laugh, he began beating the dog man with Jun’s body.

Mark jumped on the muscular man's back, but Jumanji just jumped into the air and slammed his back into the ground, imbedding Mark into the ground.

“Fuck,” Mark groaned. “I’ve done my back in…”

“Catch!” Jumanji yelled as he threw Jun toward Lance, but Lance just sidestepped, letting Jun splatter against the ground.

“Jokes on you!” Lance laughed, “I don’t care enough to catch him!”

“Then catch this!” Jumanji said as he held his hand up and sent a powerful ball of energy rocketing toward Lance.

“Bro, not fair!” Lance yelped as he was hit by the attack and exploded. When the smoke cleared, he was lying in a crater in the Family Guy death pose in his base form.

As Jumanji laughed in victory, Domitor flew in and delivered a powerful kick to the side of his face. But just as before, the large man only moved an inch before turning sharping to face Domitor.

“Why am I even here?” Domitor groaned as he was grabbed and slammed into the ground, landing directly on the already hurt Mark.

“Yo, fag,” Lacy called out, drawing his attention. “Try this one on for size, why don’t you!” she said as she raised her massive sword, fresh from her pocket dimension. It began to glow with Ego as she readied her ultimate attack. “Behold my Watcher Buster!” she exclaimed, spinning her entire body and sending a wave of sharp Ego at Jumanji.

The Ego hit the man and shattered like glass, leaving him just smirking at her.

“Well that’s never happened before,” she muttered as he suddenly appeared right in front of her. “For real this shit is unfair,” she complained as he slapped her away, sending her to the ground and landing just like Lance had.

Jun rocketed back in, reformed and angery. He began pelting Jumanji with hits as he powered up more and more, his anger fueling his attacks. Finally, he began to push the large man back.

“I got your back!” Domitor yelled as he joined in, his attacks helping break through force Jumanji to start defending himself.

Louie barked as he joined them aswell, focusing on hitting Jumanji in the crotch as much as he could.

“Yes!” Jun roared as Jumanji’s defense broke, and he began taking hits freely. “Power of friendship, bitch!”

With lightning speed, Jumanji spun, roundhouse kicking all three of them at once and sending them tumbling, causing them to all get tangled up with each other.

He stepped over them and picked them up at once, roughly squeezing them together. “Friendship powerups are shit,” he mocked as he threw them up and kicked them away like a soccer ball. They soared through the air and went through the hole he’d made earlier with Lance.

Coughing behind him brought his attention to Lance as he stood up, still in his base form. “You think I’m done?” he asked, holding up his hooves. “I didn’t hear no bell, bring it!”

Jumanji zipped over and kneed Lance in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. He then kicked him in the side and sent him flying into Lacy as she stood up.

The pair lay together, groaning. “I’m getting too old for this,” Lance admitted.

“He just keeps throwing us into each other, it’s retarded,” Lacy complained.

“Then let me get serious,” Jumanji said from above them as energy began building in his hands.

“Wait, no, let's not get serious!” Lance yelled as he tried to get up, but he was too late. Energy exploded from Jumanji’s hands, engulfing both him and Lacy. When the smoke cleared, they were now in a deep crater, badly hurt.

“Get away from my baby brother!” Mark yelled from the roof, having climbed up there at some point. “Take my ultimate attack!” Mark exclaimed as he jumped from the roof and flipped through the air till he angled his back hoof for Jumanji’s face. “Greenfield kick!”

Right before he landed the kick, Jumanji caught his leg and lifted him up, legs spread before him. Mark’s eyes went wide as the man pulled his fist back. “WAIT A MINUTE!” He yelled before the fist connected with his balls, causing him to let out a girlish scream. Jumanji spun him around and tossed him away like a broken doll.

“Is this all?” Jumanji called out, hands up as he spun to look around the room. “I expected more!”

“Then take all I have!” Domitor roared as he landed on the floor and began powering up even further. “You want strong! Then I’ll give you strong! AHHHHHH!!!” Energy cracked around him as he began to break his limits and enter Super Saiyan 2.

“You’re wide open!” Jumanji yelled as he suddenly appeared before Domitor and punched him so hard in the gut, he reverted back to his base form.

“Damn it,” Domitor groaned as he slumped over the fist still connected to his gut.

“You smell of axe body spray,” Jumanji commented with a big whiff.

“Fuckin’ Shayla…” Domitor groaned.

Before he could be attacked further, Jun zoomed by, saving Domitor and landing nearby.

“We’re literally getting killed out here,” Louie said as he ran up, out of breath after having to run back in due to not being able to fly.

“Nothing we do hurts this fucker,” Jun said, patting Domitor’s back. “If Scamp or Shayla were here, he’d be fucked.”

“Good idea, call her,” Domitor said as he lifted his cellphone, but let out a whimper as it grumbled to dust the moment Jun touched it. “So cruel…”

“We gotta do something,” Jun said as she pulled a few capsules from his pocket dimension. “Eat this shit, it’ll fix us.” They each took one, their wounds slowly healing. “Be lucky I had a few of those left, but I only have enough for each of us. After that, we’re fucked.”

“Try again,” Jumanji called out as he threw Lance and Lacy to the group. Jun quickly gave each of them the last two capsules, restoring them back to full.

“Okay,” Lance said, stretching his legs. “New plan. We’re fusing and kicking his ass.”

“Ooo, we’re doing that again?” Lacy asked as Lance pulled a sealed spell from his pocket dimension.

“You know it! Full power, boys!” Lance said as he and the others powered back to their most powerful forms. With a cheer, he crushed the seal, casting the spell. A light spread over the three of them, pulling them together and morphing them together.

When it was over, Lance stood there proudly, happy to be the one in charge this time. “Oh fuck yes!” He yelled, raising a hoof in praise of the massive power boost he felt. He then frowned as he was assaulted with all six consciences at once. “Okay, not fuck yes. But I can make due.”

Now, in the new form, Lance turned to face Jumanji along with Louie and Domitor, who was only in his first transformation. “This is it,” Lance called out to the beast of a man. “Behold the true power of friendship!”

But Jumanji just smirked at them as he stood waiting for them.

“You think you can beat us now?” Lance said confidently, flexing as he increased to his max power.

“No,” Jumanji replied. “I’m going to kill you.”

“At least he didn’t say rape this time,” Louie said just as Jumanji appeared before them.

They all panicked and jumped at the man, exchanging a fury of blows that broke the ground beneath them. Louie was the first to get hit, dropping instantly. Next was Domitor, who was send tumbling backward.

Lance held his own, his attacks actually effecting the large man. “Wanna see some cool shit?” Lance asked as he suddenly disappeared as a punch hit his afterimage. He reappeared behind Jumanji and kicked him in the side, actually sending him sliding to the side. But he stayed upright as he shot back for Lance.

But just as before, his fist hit Lance’s afterimage, followed by another kick hitting Jumanji in the back. Roaring in frustration, he began to lose his composure as he swung and grabbed for Lance, but missed every time as Lance teleported around him.

With a burst of power, Jumanji caught Lance just as he came out of a teleport, surprising him. Jumanji headbutted Lance and then slammed his face into his knee, dazing him as he began beating the absolute shit out of the fusion.

Screams from behind Jumanji made him stop his assault and turn, seeing Domitor finally finish his transformation into a Super Saiyan 2.

“Finally,” Jumanji said as he held Lance out and dropped him to the ground, eyes locked on Domitor.

“Yeah, now see how you can handle me,” Domitor said, his expression stern.

“You’re flirting,” Jumanji said.

“I most definitely am not,” Domitor retorted.

The smirk on Jumanji’s face became more prominent. “Time to become official.”

The vibe Jumanji gave off caused Domitor’s stern expression to falter as his eyes widened. “Oh shit… Lance, get me the fuck out of here!” He yelled, but looking to Lance for help was pointless, as the man’s tongue hung out of his mouth as he stared off into nothingness.

Jumanji shot forward and punched Domitor in the face, but he held his ground and returned his own punch. The pair began dancing around the room, destroying anything that they came near. The power of their hits overwhelming.

“Surprise attack!” Louie roared as he attempted to stab Jumanji with a broken table leg. But Jumanji just sprang back, his body hitting Louie and knocking him out cold, sending him into the stage and completely destroying it.

A flaming hoof then slammed into the side of Jumanji’s face, making him stumble. “Yeah bitch, now you’re in trouble,” Lance exclaimed as he joined Domitor in beating down Jumanji.

Together, they finally started to come on top in exchanges with the larger man. But somehow, he was keeping up with them and returning hits that staggered them when they landed.

Suddenly, as Domitor tried to dodge a punch, a hand grabbed the back of his head and yanked him forward. “Hold this,” Jumanji said as he shoved a massive ball of energy into Domitor’s chest and sent him soaring away with a deafening explosion.

This left just Lance fighting him, putting him back on the winning side. Lance, even fused, couldn’t handle him alone. Just as he started to take too much damage, a hoof slammed into the side of Jumanji’s head.

“Greenfield kick!” Mark roared.

This distracted him long enough for Lance to slip his hoof through his defenses and grab the man by the face. He spun his whole body and slammed Jumanji straight into the ground, burying his head. Ego and energy built around Lance’s hooves as he performed many quick movements with them, mostly for show, and threw them forward.

“Localized Shadow Blast!” he roared as he threw his hooves forward, obliterating the ground and building before him. The blast flew forward, destroying the building and everything beyond, tearing away the ground before him in massive chunks.

When he stopped the attack, there was nothing before him but an actual canyon.

“Holy shit, what was that?!” Mark asked, floored by what he’d just witnessed.

“I don’t know, I made it up just now,” Lance admitted, smiling proudly at what he’d just done.

“Okay, but what if there were people in the buildings you just destroyed?”

“Nah,” Lance said dismissively. “I got the fucker; all that matters in the end.”

A pop behind them made them turn to see Dank, holding a new necklace. “I have returned with—YOU MONSTER!” he screamed, seeing the destruction before him.

“Don’t worry,” Lance said with a laugh. “I gottem.”

“You destroyed everything! And killed my son?!” Dank roared.

“You’re welcome,” Lance said proudly.

Dank withdrew a gun from his bag and pointed it at Lance.

“You think a gun will hurt me?” Lance chuckled. “Go ahead and shoot your hero. I’m waiting.”

Dank let out a pained cry as he pulled the trigger, but as the gun fired, something came crashing down on him, splattering him all over the area, including Mark and Lance.

“Shit…” Lance muttered as he looked back, seeing a naked and scared Jumanji standing there, looking pissed.

Jumanji took a step forward but looked down, seeing the gore all over him and the fully intact, degloved face of his father lying on the ground. “You killed my dad!” He screamed.

“Nah, fam, that was all you,” Lance laughed.

Jumanji let out a sorrowful scream, grabbing his face as energy shot form him, destroying anything it hit.

“Great, we’re doomed,” Domitor groaned as he landed next to them, holding Louie’s unconscious body.

“No, I can handle him,” Lance said confidently.

A new aura rose from Jumanji as he finally stopped screaming, now peaking out at them through his fingers. “Life is too good for you. Let me take it.”

“Bring it,” Lance laughed as he got into a fighting pose. Only to then defuse and all three of them fall to the ground.

“Fucking bad timing there,” Lacy groaned.

“Great, now Mr. One Liners will kill us faster,” Mark said, shaking his head. “Fuck it, I had a good run.”

“No, you didn’t,” Lacy remarked.

“Fuck, I know,” Mark said, deflating.

Jumanji took a step forward, his aura alone, breaking the ground.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Lance said, looking at Domitor. “You gotta fuck him.”

In response, Domitor just stared at Lance with a deadpan expression.

“Selfish prick,” Lance grumbled.

Just as Jumanji neared them, a shot rang out and a glob of goo hit him in the face, completely covering it and blinding him.

The group looked around in surprise just as a man entered the room.

“Why am I having to be the one saving your sorry asses?” they said.

“Cody!” Lance exclaimed in glee. “How’d you know we needed help?”

“We didn’t; you idiots just produced so much damn energy we took notice,” Scamp growled as she landed next to them.

“Oh, thank God,” Mark exclaimed. “The A-Team is here!”

“We are the A-Team!” Lance protested, but even he didn’t believe that.

Jumanji continued to roar next to them, tearing the goo off his face.

“Right,” Scamp said, waving a hoof. “Shayla, do your thing, please.”

The muscular hybrid crashed down before the rampaging Jumanji and pulled back a fist, Ego bursting from it. With a yell, she hit the man in the chest. Ego exploded through the area, and he was temporarily stunned.

“Wow, this fucker is actually stronger than me!” she yelped, realizing her attack didn’t take him down like she thought it would.

“Improvise then,” Scamp called out.

Shayla nodded, pulling out her dimensional dagger and ripping a portal open before the stunned man. She then dashed around him and kicked him through it, closing it behind him. “Enjoy Candyland, dumbass!”

“Good work,” Scamp praised as she turned back to the group, raising her eyebrow at Domitor, who was staring at Shayla with a blush and a noticeable hard-on. “Come on, kid, don’t be that damn obvious.”

“Shit,” he cursed, shifting his form into his Halwen form to hide his arousal easier.

“So who’s going to explain this mess?” She asked, looking at the destroyed area around them.

Everyone pointed at Lance, who just smiled sheepishly. “Well, it’s a pretty funny story.”

ooo000<^>000ooo

Lance stepped out of the Mellowed Pie, letting out a sigh. Greg hadn’t been happy about losing his clone, but he’d get over it. Lance knew he would.

He flexed a bit, feeling excited as he recalled the fighting. Sure, they didn’t beat Jumanji, but he felt like if he’d done a few pushups in the weeks leading up to that fight, he would have mopped the floor with that guy! No need to fuse. He was out of shape, and he still kicked ass!

Off to the side, he saw his friends covered in bruises and cuts from the fighting. A thought hit him: maybe this could be his new group for adventures?

He’d just have to convince Domitor, and he knew the others would follow.

“So that was crazy, huh?” Lance said as he approached them. “Almost makes you want to do another adventure, right, Domitor?”

“If it’s all good with you,” Domitor began. “I never want to be alone with you ever again.”

“Come on, one more adventure. It’ll be short!”

“Yeah, no. You offered me up to a monster; I think I’ll take my chances with my pregnant wife.”

“Good fucking luck,” Lacy laughed. “Shayla gonna be a scary one to deal with when those hormones kick in.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Lance looked to the others. “Come on, the rest of you can come along.”

Louie started to say something, but then he just slipped away, making a run for it.

“Come on, Mark. Lacy,” he said, giving them puppy dog eyes.

“Bro, I love you, but I’m just a normal dude. I only survived that shit out of pure luck and sheer determination,” Mark said, turning and giving him a peace sign as he left.

“I’m just going to be straight and say fuck no,” Lacy said, shaking her head. “Love ya, Lance, but I ain’t adventuring with you. Won’t end well.”

As she left, Lance let out a sad sigh, hanging his head.

“I’m down for more!” Jun exclaimed, jumping with excitement.

“I guess that’s it then,” Lance said as he walked away, head down. “Can’t adventure without a party.”

“I said I’m down!” Jun called out, but Lance continued on. “Bro. Wtf? Get hearing aids! I’m saying I’m down!”

Once Lance was gone, Jun huffed. But then he saw Belle leaning on a building nearby and his mood perked up.

“Hey, Bella! Adventure time?”