Stallions Being Totally Judgemental

Big Mac recognized that voice. That kind, caring voice that could only belong to a mother and one mare in particular.

"Cheerilee!" Big Mac grunted, as he weakly pulled on the restraints that were holding him down on, what appeared to be, a desk. Big Mac had a lot to say, but all he could say was three simple words. "What the BUCK!"

The deceivingly kind teacher only let out a sweet laugh as her victim squirmed like a worm. "Oh Big Mac why do you have to struggle?" She asked, slowly mounting the table and resting herself on the stallions exposed stomach with her front hooves folded across his chest. "Things would be so much SIMPLER if you talked a little more SUGARCUBE."

"What the hay are you talkin about"  The red stallion hissed, still trying to make sense of it all. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened after that second keg of apple cider, but he never expected Cherilee to have the strength to take him down on her own, even if he was drunk. He found it.......Admirable. "Did I say somethin bad?"

The teacher's response was to give the drunk stallion a vicious slap across his red snout. "It's WHAT YOU DON'T SAY YOU IDIOT!" She spat, as she grabbed his dangling head and forced it against her own. "You don't say ANYTHING!"

Well it's not like Big Mac could deny that. Their relationship was a bit on the stale side due to the lack of communication, but he always felt that it worked. Isn't the sex good enough you crazy mare! The exhausted stallion thought to himself as Cheerilee began a soliloquy on the importance of communication in relationships.

This situation reminded him of a lesson his father taught him when he was just a little colt, who was slowly becoming the stallion his father hoped he would be. His dad had sat him down on their simple, green couch in their living room and wrapped a comforting hoof around his back. His wise father gave him a stern look with green eyes, and grunted one sentence in the very husky voice that Big Mac was so familiar with. "Son.....Mare's are bucking crazy."

And with that important lesson finally taught to his son, the father went back to his highly unstable mechanical plow. Dammit dad. Always using that stupid plow! Big Mac thought as he sadly blocked images of the accident from his mind. Uh oh. She's still talking.

"And Heart Break says in her book that couples should spend at least TWO HOURS talking! TWO!" She exclaimed, as she rubbed her throbbing head with her hooves. "Not just EEYUP. Cheerilee stated, mimicking Big Mac's deep voice and southern accent.

"Did you like Trixie's magical show, honey? EEYUP. Did the salad taste great sugar cube? EEYUP. Do you want to meet my parents? EENOPE." Cheerilee hissed, as she went over every conversation the couple had over that past few months.

Besides the nausea and the inevitable case of diarrhea that was going to set in after a few hours, Big Mac suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that he had done something.......wrong. He had been pretty successful in just about everything he had ever done, whether it was hoofball in school, apple bucking at the farm, or keeping mares satisfied in between, but this was a rarity.

"You know what you have to do don't you?" Cheerilee snickered as she let loose a few evil cackles. "You have to spill the beans Big Mac." With the ultimatum now laid out for the the red stallion, the half insane mare let her head closer to Big Mac's right cheek and gave him one long, disgusting lick across his snout.

Normally this would be welcomed from Big Mac, who happens to like sex and Cheerilee and a combination of the two wouldn't be something he would normally pass up, but the mare's breath reeked up Hay Extract and the mare's tongue left a horribly slimy trail spit on his cheek. Big Mac gagged as the mare finally withdrew her tongue and pulled her head back from his face.

"'Bout what?" Big Mac asked in a shaky voice, only to have Cheerilee's pupil shrink into demented pinpricks. That was obviously the wrong thing to ask.

"EVERYTHING!" Cheerilee hissed, as she began to unleash a diabolical laugh that could put the Joker to shame. Big Mac was fifty percent sure that lightning flashed outside and the room had dropped about five degrees.

"BIG MAC!? Big Mac where are ya!?" A familiar voice called outside of the small schoolroom.

1 Hour Ago.....

The Doctor pulled the door of the upturned outhouse open and found, much to his dismay, that Big mac wasn't in there either. He had searched the farmhouse, several of Big Mac's favorite spots in the orchard, and now the outhouse. His red friend had completely disappeared with a small trail as the only sign of his disappearance. The ground had a small indentation in its smooth surface which was an obvious sign that something heavy had been drug through the dirt.

"Hmm....." The Doctor stood their on wobbly legs as he tried to make sense of this mysterious trail. Normally, he would have figured it out in the first five minutes, but that apple cider was pretty damn strong. With a noisy hiccup, the Doctor wobbled his way back to the barn.

"Guys." He called, as the rowdy group sat and impatiently waited for more apple cider. "I can't find him anywhere." The doctor slurred, as the group let out a loud series of groans.

"What do you mean you can't find him!? He said he had to use the bathroom." NoteWorthy pointed out as he slid out of his seat and flopped to the floor.

"I....I think somepony kidnapped him."