My dearest Twilight,

I've never gotten past Fluttershy's death. Quite the contrary, I feel a deep, empty sorrow every day. You and the others may have been reluctant friends with me, but Fluttershy wanted to be my friend. I haven't had much to lose since my time on Equestria began. But I've certainly lost what little I did have when Fluttershy passed. It seem... wrong, somehow. In a way, I always though death was some kind of cosmic joke played on Harmony. After all, what's a bigger change than death? But I can't say that makes Fluttershy dying any more simple.

We don't forget or get past losing somepony. We carry them with us, the sorrow of knowing them, for as long as we live. So you can imagine how much Celestia and Luna carry on their backs, having had so had such an early start on eternity over you. But also, joy. Yes, we carry joy on our backs as well, the joy of having known somepony so special to us.

I can't possibly fathom why you would ask me for help with something like this. I've no experience dealing with loss... Well, besides the losses I've caused for others. I'm not of much help, and believe me, I'm not much better off than you are. Why do you think Equestria has been wracked with such intolerable peacefulness for so long? A drab, dull, grey boredom that seems to stagnate everypony's lives. I just don't feel up to my usual fun anymore.

As to the other pony, no, I don't feel any regret at what happened to him, but he might be the closest thing to a friend I had back then. We spoke rather frequently before the time you mentioned. He was... well, just tap your horn to the page, and I'll show you.

The court yard of the Celestial palace spreads out into a garden of statues. A sweet, crisp sunshine is rising over the east. There, resting near a bush wall stands the grey, unmoving statue of Discord, his hand lifted above him as if chuckling. There is a large blue stallion with a yellow mane pacing back and forth between Discord's statue and one of two ponies dancing together. "That isn't right." he mutters softly to himself, encircling the statues in smaller and smaller figure eights. "How do I ask a Princess..." Shaking his head, the stallion looks pitiful, his body quivering with anxiety or fear or both. Suddenly, a soft chuckle floated away from Discord.

"Who's there!" The stallion looks around, puzzled and scared. "You better come out! You're trespassing on these grounds." He searches frantically for the source of the voice.

"Come now, you don't sound like anything to fear." The unmistakable voice of Discord echos from his stone casing.

The stallion stares at the statue, eyes fixated, a look of sheer disbelief spread across the his face. "You can't be talking... Your just a statue. I'm going crazy, aren't I?" He does not take his eyes off the statue, while slowly backing away.

"Don't go, I was just having some fun watching you struggle. What? Didn't think there was any life in these old stones? Why do you think Celestia had you guarding them? As beautiful as a statue of me must be, I can't imagine she'd be protect it for no reason." Discord ends his sentence with a slight chuckle.

"I... I... I... this...."

"Yes, use your words. Much as I don't like conversation with ponies, it does get a bit dull out here all alone. So, what's got you so flustered? Want to ask the Princess for a raise? Maybe even a promotion."

"N-n-n-no." The stallion barely manages these words, his eyes fixated still on the motionless statue.

"Well, I would say prince is a kind of promotion, don't you? Oh, didn't think I heard you? Pah-lease, I'm a statue in the courtyard of the most powerful pony in the world, of course I pay attention to even the silly things."

"Why are you here?" He speaks clearly, but weakly, still trying to recover.

"Well, I should think that's obvious. I'm a criminal. The worst kind, of course. I like having fun and all that, and as her admirer, you of all ponies should know how up tight Celestia is."

"Don't speak about the Princess with such disrespect. Calling her Celestia is vulgar and disrespectful. She is a princess, and deserves to be refered to as such." The powerful, clear voice the stallion speaks with seems strange, completely out of touch with he previous attempts to speak. It matches the voice of guard, demanding and strict.

"Or what? You'll break my statue? Please, do it. Set me free from this torment."

"What would happen? Would you be released? Or die?"

"I don't know. Both? Neither. Maybe I can't break. Does anypony in Equestria really know what will happen after we do anything?"

This seems to confuse the stallion, and he simply sits on his flank.

That was the first time I met the stallion. Or, at least the first time I spoke with him. He was a nice pony, and quite devoted to the Princess, much like another pony I know. Honestly, I enjoyed his coming to speak with me. It was a chance to spread a little chaos whenever he came around. But I didn't get him killed. I didn't send him off to his death. He figured out that, if anypony in Equestria knew where Starswirl lives, it would be me.

He asked me to tell him for months. Every morning. Every evening. He would sometimes even skip lunch. It was intolerable, and I almost wished I'd never spoken to him. And then, he stopped coming. For weeks at a time. When he came back, he'd ask half heartedly. Then one day, he asked if there was even a real answer, and if I knew it. I told him yes. And he left. He didn't ask where. He just left. I didn't see him again for months, and then, only that last time.

"I have to find it, Discord." The stallion's mane has faded to a blue-grey. He isn't old, but there is no joy in him anymore. No nervousness. No fear. He appears exhausted, to the point that it covered every other possible emotion.

"She's just one pony. She won't even accept if you find it. You're wasting your time."

"I won't come back this time. You'll be alone out here. I won't station anyone to guard you. I'll simply make sure no one can speak to you."

A long pause thickens the air as the stallion stares down the statue. "No. You wouldn't make it back. No pony comes back."

The stallion begins to turn, his eyes empty. Not even determination remains.

"Alright... I'll tell you. But don't go there. I like having a spring of chaos, even if it's only a trickle. And you dying would make that harder. It's in the Everfree Forest. Further back than anypony has ever gone and lived. Even my magic didn't work there. If you see a large clearing with a black stone or a tower in the middle, depending on the day, then you'll know you just have to go east for three days. That's where it is."

I never saw that stallion again. I did wonder how Celestia retrieved his remains. She never stationed a guard next to me again. It's... It's sad, really, but it wasn't my fault. I'm sorry that I can't help you with your guilt, but do you really believe that a pony like Pinkie Pie would have wanted you to mourn for her? Or would she have wanted you to party and remember her life? What about the others? Would they want you to burden yourself like this?

That's what I ask myself about Fluttershy every time I start to let it get to me. I don't know how to help you Twilight, because only you can really help you. I don't believe that death is the cosmic joke on Harmony. It happens to everything. It is an order that can't be broken. But eternity, that's a joke on me. I can never die. Never change from this to the next. Chaos can't change. They're the lucky ones, but who knows. Eternity hasn't happened yet. Maybe you three aren't really eternal.

Discord.

Author's Note

In a lot of ways, I'm a little surprised how much writing this has helped me. I recently lost my Aunt. This particular chapter has helped me work through it a lot. I did something a bit different, and I hope you guys like it. If not, that's fine too.

Like I said, I'm going to make a story out of Celestia, the Stallion, Discord, Twilight and Starswirl's home.