And Did Those Feet, in Ancient Time

The day after the banquet, Charlie spent the morning writing furiously in the empty book he purchased in Ponyville, filling the remaining pages with what Discord had told him, and also with Twilight’s stories of the many adversities Equestria had faced these past couple years. Graham, conversely, spent the morning cursing the strength of Zebrabwean beer, and wishing he were dead.

It was around midday when they were once again called out of their room by Canterlot Guards, who had grown far friendlier as they became more accustomed to humans. This time, they were led into the entrance where they had first met the Princesses. The Princesses stood below the grand staircase, looking somewhat fatigued. Next to them was Discord, seemingly enjoying the Princess’s discomfort. Lastly, they saw the same six ponies who had taken them on the train to Canterlot.

“So, back to Earth then? How’s it going to go down?” Graham asked with keen enthusiasm.

“It’s probably going to work,” Discord answered, “We’re quite sure, maybe seventy percent sure. Okay, more like sixty percent. Okay, more like fifty. Actually, it’s probably more like--”

“Could I please get an answer from someone other than him?” Graham interrupted.

Luckily for Graham, Celestia answered his question in a far more reassuring way.

“We can’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work,” she told him, “We’ve certainly got enough magic, between two Alicorns, a Draconequus, and I believe Twilight has told you a bit about the Elements of Harmony.”

“About that,” Charlie then said, turning to Twilight and her friends, “When we first met you all, we thought you were just normal ponies--”

“Normal might be a bit much,” Graham muttered to himself.

Charlie continued regardless, “We had no idea you six had practically saved the world about four times. Just wanted to say that’s incredible.”

The six smiled at Charlie’s comments, and Rainbow Dash blushed to the point her face seemed as if it were naturally vermilion.

Celestia then called for silence, and actually managed to attain control of the room, even in the presence of Discord. Using her magic, she brought over a small suitcase, which opened to reveal a set of immaculately designed golden necklaces, and one tiara.

“Now then,” Celestia began, “It’s time for all of us to bid you farewell. I am aware Twilight wishes for you two to stay longer, so she can study you further, but I told her you’d prefer to leave. Is this as you want?”

Charlie nodded sheepishly, and Graham nodded fervently.

“We’ll begin in just a moment,” she then announced.

“Since we’re leaving,” Charlie said, “I just want to thank all of you for our time here. It sounds odd, I suppose, but it’s actually been a pretty great time, and I feel we have to thank you for your hospitality.”

“Then let us thank you,” Celestia replied, “For your kindness and tact while with us. It can’t have been easy, the shock of going to an entirely different world, and we understand that--”

“Can we just get on with the bloody thing?” Graham asked with the air of an impatient child.

“Maybe tact wasn’t the right word,” Celestia said with a wry smile, “But since you’ve asked, yes, we can get on with the bloody thing,” she laughed at that point, and Graham seemed almost proud to have added a new word to the Equestrian dialect.

With that, the Princesses and six ponies were ready to begin the spell. Much to Graham’s chagrin, Discord halted the process to do what he called his “ancient Zebra ritual,” in which he snapped his fingers to receive a spear, and began to walk about, raising and lowering the spear whilst chanting gibberish.

Political correctness was apparently prevalent in Equestria also, as the ponies took offence to his impression, which Rainbow Dash declared was “Seriously not cool,” followed by a far more stern telling off from Celestia. Only when Fluttershy very timidly and politely requested he stop, did he comply and allow the continuation of the spell.

Discord began by clicking his fingers once more, seemingly in time with a tune that flowed through his head, whilst the Princesses focused their energy, sparks beginning to emanate from their horns.

Discord’s clicking grew more rapid as the Princesses joined, as if the tune were quickening. Graham turned to Twilight Sparkle, whose eyes had glazed over to a radiant white light, and levitated slightly above the floor, followed by her five companions, all joining Discord’s grand symphony.

At that point, a massive floating sphere of pinkish electricity appeared above the hall, miniature bolts of lightning sparking from the edges. The sphere gently drifted downwards, until it encompassed all the occupants of the room.

“Voilá!” Discord yelled triumphantly with a flourish, before Graham was blinded by the light.

______________________________________________________________________________

When Graham regained his vision he was standing with Charlie, in front of Discord. They stood in yet another palace, this one with imposing wall made of pure, gleaming crystal. Even without the presence of two ponies at the other end of the room, it was fairly obvious they were not yet on Earth.

The two, who Graham recognised as Shining Armour and Princess Cadence, had yet to notice the uninvited trio, and continued their conversation.

“When’s the next time we visit Equestria?” Shining Armour asked.

“Not really sure. Why, don’t you like the Crystal Empire?” Cadence then replied.

“The Crystal Empire is great, but when we visit Canterlot, I’m Captain of the Guard again, even it’s it only for a day. It’s like--”

His conversation was cut off at this point by the realisation they had their own visitors from Canterlot.

Discord was questioned by Shining Armour and Cadence about his and the human’s appearance in the Empire, but Discord ignored their probing.

“This isn’t right at all,” he muttered, “Just give me a moment to try again.”

This time he clicked only once, and once again the pink sphere appeared above them.

“While it’s coming down I feel I should tell you,” Discord said, “I’m pretty sure this one will take you to Earth. You’d better hope it does, because I’m not coming for the trip this time, and I haven’t the magic to make another portal anyway.”

The sphere again enveloped Graham and Charlie, the latter person almost quivering with fear that they might not return.

“Well, bye,” Discord said dismissively as the two were plunged into the vortex.

______________________________________________________________________________

After somewhere between ten seconds and ten millennia of what Graham could only describe as pure and absolute nothingness, in which he felt no physical form nor any perception of his senses, he found himself standing in a large empty field, next to a small country road.

His first actions were to take in a massive breath, attempt to take one step, fall over, and vomit.

“Are you alright?” Charlie slurred, also disorientated; now lying flat on his face next to Graham.

“Twice I’ve spewed in two days, how about that?” he replied with a wan smile.

Around five minutes later, they’d adjusted to Earth, and Graham’s vomit had started to smell, so they got up and began to follow the road.

They walked, following the road, making idle conversation as they had when the first landed in Equestria, until the small road lead into a motorway, which the nearby sign helpfully informed them was the A55. They walked on the roadside, and stopped at the sight of a fairly large village, next to a roadside sign telling them where they were.

“Well . . . here we are,” Graham said, attempting to read the sign.

“Yeah,” Charlie concurred, “We are in . . . this place.”

They passed the sign, and continued to walking towards the centre of the village, past the sign reading “Welcome to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!”

______________________________________________________________________________

Three days after the incident with the humans, and Celestia’s head was still reeling. Well, it wasn’t their fault, to be fair, they were courteous enough. But for Discord, one who’d apparently “reformed,” to have lost none of his thirst for mischief, and to drop such staggering news with such casual indifference, was enough to still give Celestia pause for thought as she stood in her palatial room. She was prevented from meditating upon it further when one of her guards came in. As he entered, he hung his head down, and bowed by placing his front hooves low on the ground. Such formality could only mean a foreign dignitary had come to visit, this time unannounced.

“Who is it then?” she asked with a smile.

“It is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, of the Crystal Empire,” he answered, with precise military tones.

“My sister?” Celestia asked, “Then what’s with all this pomp and genuflection? She’s her own Princess, but we’re still sisters.”

“Apologies, Princess,” the guard answered crisply.

“Save all this rigid strictness for when that Gryphon comes breathing down our necks again,” Celestia said with a conspiratorial wink.

The guard nodded, stifling a small laugh, and left the room as Cadence entered.

“Celestia,” she said, “There’s something I need to tell you, urgently.”

“Now Cadence,” Celestia said, smoothly and calmly, “If this is about on the wedding night, when I walked into your guest room, you’ve nothing to worry about--”

“Celestia,” Cadence quietly interjected.

“I understand that ponies these days go at it differently than when I was young enough to still care about being with Stallions, and--”

“Celestia,” she repeated, slightly louder.

“I mean, don’t tell Twilight, but with Shining Armour, I can see the appeal in doing something like that with--”

“Celestia!” this time she yelled, stopping the Sun-Princess mid-monologue.

“Well,” Celestia said, just as calmly, “What do you want to talk about then?”

“Discord,” Cadence answered, muttering as if it were a profanity.

“I see,” said Celestia, before admitting, “he’s certainly not in my good books at present.”

“Nor mine, that’s for sure,” Cadence answered, “If I might explain?”

Celestia nodded politely, and so Cadence began to tell her story.

“You see, three days ago, when trying to get those humans back to their home, Discord ended up in the Crystal Empire. My bedroom, specifically. I believe he told you about this?” she waited for Celestia to affirm this, then continued, “What he failed to mention though, and I don’t know if this is of his doing intentionally or an accident, but King Sombra’s horn disappeared at the same time as he sent those two humans back. The horn was kept under tight security in the palace, and I can’t think of any other way it would have gone. And--” Cadence paused at that moment, and her lip began to quiver slightly, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay,” Celestia reassured her, as the young Empire’s ruler looked on the verge of tears, “I know what we can do.”

“Which is?” she asked, slightly more assured.

“We talk to Discord, and we hope everything turns out well for the humans.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Lucas Evergreen stepped out the back door of his house, and looked out at the night. It was quiet, as the nights always were on Wicken Fen. If he really focused and listened, he could occasionally make out the call of some kind of nocturnal bird, but no more life than that could he detect on the lonely Cambridgeshire marsh. He wanted nothing more than to go back inside, sit with the dog, and warm up with a cup of tea. He felt slightly warmer just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, his wife had insisted she saw some form of strange red light coming from deeper in the fen, so Lucas traipsed through the chilly night air, without even a torch to guide his way, freezing his arse off and getting his trousers wet.

Why did I marry her again?

When he was young, he would have jumped at the chance to go explore around at night, searching for a trace of one of the many oddities of folklore East Anglia seemed to have, the Fairies, the Will o’ the Wisp, and of course the famous Black Shuck. He spend hours looking out the window, letting his imagination turn every shadow in the swamp into something of wonder.

Christ, I was an idiot as a child.

After about ten minutes, he managed to notice a light coming from somewhere close to him. He first thought he’d turned himself around and stood near the house again, but this light was red as opposed to the yellow-white glow civilisation seemed to always offer in the darkness.

The red light looked as if it were no larger than a match flame, but the way it bobbed and trickled and bounced around the mud and grass with such fluidity made it somehow compelling. Lucas almost broke into a run to catch up to it, and as he stood about a metre from meeting the light, he felt his balance shift, and found himself lying in the marsh, his front side completely soaked.

He felt more annoyed than hurt, until he felt a strange tingling on the back of his neck. He clasped his hand to it and felt the silky but disturbing sensation of blood running over his skin. He ran his arm across the ground around him to find what had cut him so roughly, and found he was holding a small curved piece of ivory with a sharpened tip. The blood made contact with the ivory and magnificent red embers began to leap from the piece.

Lucas Evergreen was too stunned to speak when the ivory began to emit red bolts of lightning that engulfed him, before finally extinguishing his life. As the warm bloody began to soak the horn, it began to grown, slowly building up to shape until Lucas Evergreen’s body was no more, and King Sombra stood upright, the black of night making only his eyes, red wisps surrounded by an unearthly glow of green, visible.

“A new realm,” he said deeply, punctuating his words with predatory growls,

“My new domain.”