A ruined Vacation

Kitran sailed through the air with his arms outstretched like a pair of pale, feather less wings and he couldn't help but appreciate the arc he now found himself sailing through the sky on. The weightlessness was a particularly peculiar feeling that he suspected Rainbow Dash either liked alot, or hated with a passion. He looked around; he could see the Library in the not-so-distance distance, A gingerbread house-esque building was a little further on, and house that was made of clouds and rainbows in the distant distance that was eye height, and that wasn't good. Kitran noted that the claws of gravity were once again sinking into his flesh, he missed the weightless feeling already, and he was pulled ever so slowly back towards the ground... then he sped up and collided with a tree. Spinning, twisting, turning, and hurting were all the things that made his world at this point; He would spin one way, only to be intercepted mid-flip by a branch and spin in the other direction, only to have the same thing happen again and be sent the first direction once more. Kitran could see the ground, the glorious ground, and tried to shift his body enough to speed his decent and maintain minimal injuries... it almost worked: but a branch caught his pant leg and spun him head first into a branch, the was a loud resounding "Crack" and all was darkness.

|*|

A few hours earlier

Kitran looked out the window of the train, but didn't notice the scenery as it passed because he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to see the trees, the birds, the bunnies, and the ponies as he rode on by. He was thinking about his last nights with Princess Luna and the stuff they did together. Most of the nights were calm and peaceful and included such activities as: looking at the stars while they had a little picnic together; reading to each other in her room, during one of those nights she said that he had the emotional range of "Royal Court Celestia" and then proceeded to laugh so hard she fell off of the bed; other nights just reading to themselves as they enjoyed each other's company... though the last night they spent together was less then peaceful. Luna had the "bright" idea that they were going to prank Celestia as a "farewell" gift.

|*|

"Luna, I don't think this is such a wise idea." Kitran whispered to the smiling princess, as she set a bucket of water on a magically created pedestal above her sister's door. Luna just suppressed a giggle and she attached the stick to the bucket's side, so when the door opened it would knock the bucket off of the pedestal and drench whoever was coming out of the room. I could think up a better prank in my sleep... and a more couth one at that... Kitran though to himself as he clung to The Night Princess' back when she flew away, the guards below them not even flinching the whole time as they stood there. Kitran shook his head as Luna giggled like a school girl when the guards were out of earshot.

"My sister is going to get soaked, It will be priceless!" Luna said as she laughed again, "It will be a prank for the ages!" she set herself up down the hall to watch when her sister would get up, with a huge grin on her face.

Kitran leaned close to his friend and whispered calmly "You are aware that dawn isn't for four more hours." Luna's grin froze on her face, then it fell off of her face as she stood up.

"Well.. maybe we should retire to my room and wait till da-", Right then her sister's door opened and the bucket poured it's content's right on her head... Followed by the bucket itself; which ended up tilted to the left side comically, with her right eye left uncovered by the bucket's rim and her mouth in a surprised "O" shape. Luna let out an amused snort as Kitran's face collided with his right hand's palm. Celestia turned her head to look in the direction of the sounds, and focused her eye on the pair of them.

Kitran looked at his palm and though to himself Now why did I do that..., then he looked up at the drenched princess... and noticed the blank expression on the unexposed part of her face. Kitran had seen Celestia use that face plenty of times before, when she was dealing with an especially irritating noble, and it was usually followed by a veiled but calm, threat to the noble's fortune.

"Oh dear sister, would you come here?" Celestia asked in a voice that was cold and calm. Kitran booked it as fast as he could in the opposite direction and didn't look back. Luna flew past him and left him in the dust, causing him to spin comically and fall to the ground. He looked up from his face plant to watch the Dark Princess fly down the hall like her life depended on it. Celestia flew past him even faster as she shouted: "Oh dear sister ! Why won't you come and talk to me?!" in a quiet voice that carried far beyond where it should have and sent chills down Kitran's spine.

Kitran laid there with his face just above the ground, then he noticed the hall brighten up slowly. He looked down at his legs and noticed that they had a golden aura around them. "Oh F-" was all the exited his mouth before he was sent down the hall as the same speed as Celestia.

Kitran finished his sentence with an "-ACK!" as he sailed right into a wall, luckily for him Celestia's magic had completely surrounded him and he didn't feel a thing when he hit it, then he bounced along the floor in what her presumed was the Princess' direction. "This could have gone alot better." he said as he ran into another wall.

"Tell me about it!" was the response from behind him, and Kitran looked back to see the guards from Celestia's room were following behind him. Like him they were cover from head to hoof in Celestia's magic, but they sported much less amused expressions... and Kitran's face was the stone carving it always was. Then one of the guards turned to the other and said "Why does this always happen on our shift?"

The other replied with an irritated tone in his voice "Because we always work the night shift, Gray, because we always work the night shift."

Kitran just raised an eyebrow at the pair and looked down the hall that he was, for all intents and purposes, was falling down. His initial estimation of speed was wrong, because he could see the royal white backside in front of him now, the tail stretched out like a ten foot technicolor streamer. At least I'll die with a good view... Kitran hear a voice say dryly looked back at the Guards behind him, but they were bickering about why they took this shift.

Kitran forgot about the voice as he had noticed that the White Princess was catching up the the Dark Princess, much like the day catches up to the night... and that wasn't good, or maybe it was, he couldn't tell anymore. "OH MY SWEET LITTLE SISTER! COME HERE, I JUST WANT A HUG!" Celestia called to her sister in the Canterlot Voice, which rumbled down the halls and woke everyone in the sleeping castle. A head poked out of a door as Kitran sailed past and he just looked at it as he passed, the pony was rolling their eyes, then closed the door after Kitran passed.

"Apparently this is a common occurrence..." Kitran said, then he yelled back to the guards, "how often does this happen?"

"Once in a blue moon, I'd have to say..." the guard that didn't answer smacked the one that did.

"That was a terrible pun, Gray, that was a terrible pun..." was his only response to his co-workers stupidity.

Kitran rolled his eyes then pointed them forward and noticed that Celestia was right on her sister's tail, literally actually. Celestia wrapped her hooves around her sister's back legs and Luna whinnied in shock. Celestia pulled down but only succeeded in losing her grip on her sisters legs, then she tried to grab Luna once more but her sister was just out of reach. Celestia closed the gap once more and managed to grab her sister around the waist and pin Luna's wings underneath herself... then she stopped flapping her own wings and Kitran's last thoughts before the Princesses slammed into the floor ever so regally were This will end well...

After the dust settled Kitran notices a sound, it sounded like laughing, "Oh great, Celestia's finally snapped... and I find myself unable to move... Oh joy..." He saw movement in the dust, and when he squinted to see what it was his jaw dropped at the sight he saw... Celestia was giving Luna a noogie and laughing loudly with her sister.

"Every time! I should probably just stop getting up for a drink at night, you ALWAYS get it for me like a good little sister!" Celestia shouted as she pressed her hoof harder into her sister's scalp. Kitran looked back at the guards, his jaw still unhinged, but they were already walking back to their posts and muttering, then Kitran looked down and realized he wasn't magically bound anymore. Kitran got up slowly, closed his gaping maw, and walked away slowly... only to find himself being dragged back to the quarreling sisters by familiar golden glow. Kitran hovered above them, hanging up side down, and crossed his arms as he tapped his foot on the open air. "Done yet?"

|*|

Kitran rolled his shoulders and grimaced as his gaze focused back on the real world, he was still sore from the amount of books he had to carry to Luna's room. Then there was a knock on the door to his quarters, "You may enter." he said loudly as already had Twilight walked in the room. He looked at her with an eyebrow raised, "What would you have done if I said you couldn't come in?"

Twilight blushed and said "I didn't think about that..." as she rubbed the back of her head. Kitran turned his head to the window in response, then Twilight ask hurriedly "How have you liked your trip so far?"

"It's been really smooth as far as train rides go, so I can't complain"

"That's because of the method of construction they used to make it: they would lay the wooden slats down, then put the rails on top of them like normal, but then they melded the rails together, with magic, to make two continuous rails that stretch from Canterlot to Ponyville!" Twilight spewed out quickly. Kitran graced her with another eyebrow raise as the purple pony blushed brightly. "I'm sorry... I get excited about the things I read..." She then inspected the suddenly interesting seat beside her as she sat down.

"I understand your an accomplished Magician slash Mage yourself, correct?" She nodded her head excitedly, so Kitran continued "I've been curious about the whole "Magic" thing myself, and books don't make things quite understandable for me on this subject, so I was wondering if you could tell me about it's functions and properties." Twilight went from excited to still very quickly. Kitran blinked rapidly, confused by what just transpired. "Are you alright, Twilight?"

She opened her eyes as she said "Just gathering my thoughts; since your new to this I'll have to start with what I learned in all the way back in Magic Kindergarten..."

And start she did, she sounded exactly like a teacher as she listed of simple names for complex things and extremely simplified concepts of not-so-simple applications. She acted exactly like a teacher as well, Kitran even had to raise his hand when he had a question and at some points Twilight would even give him Quizzes. Kitran in turn absorbed the explanations, and even the illustrations that she would conjure into the air, with a sponges level of retention. The rest of the several hour trip was spent in this way, and when they train conductor's voice rang through the train to say they had ten more minutes Twilight said "Oh? It's already almost time to leave, I looks like we will have to continue this later... I'll give you homework." as she produced some paper and a quill and quickly threw together a few questions about the basic principles of magic, then gave it to Kitran before trotting off to her own quarters, humming a happy tune as she left.

Kitran looked at the paper, then shook his head as he read the title ""Test number one of four: quarterly grade test"... This is going to take longer then I expected..." a small smile graced his lips as he gathered his things together for transport, "I need some fun."

|*|

Kitran walk out to the train platform, and found it exceedingly crowded, so he worked his way to the door to wait for his companions. When he got to the door he set down his things and pulled out his "homework" to look at the questions; they were all things that were covered and he could answer them all right now if he had a pen on him, but he didn't. He looked back into the throng of ponies and, as expected, didn't recognize a single one; but he did notice that some were looking away very quickly when he looked in their general direction. He didn't blame them, it's an instinctual reaction to the unknown and no one was completely immune to their baser instincts. He looked around the train station again and this time found a short purple and green lizard standing not five feet from him, Kitran looked around and noticed that no one else seemed to notice the lizard.

The lizard seemed to be looking for someone, so Kitran decided he was going to help it. Kitran walked over, crouched down so he didn't look so tall, and said "Are you looking for someone?"

The lizard kept looking towards the crowd with it's claw above it's eyes and it's toes on their tips as it responded "Yeah... I can't seem to find her anywhere..." It sank down off of it's toes and dropped it claw with a sigh of defeat, "I wish I wasn't so short..." It kicked that the dirt sadly.

This is so cliche it hurts... A familiar, irritating voice said in Kitran's head as he said aloud to the sad lizard "I may be able help you look for your friend." The lizard looked at him for the first and it's eyes went wide.

"Whoa..." it said in a quiet voice, "Your not a pony at all..."

"No I am not, but I am tall." he said with his trade mark straight face, then proceeded to lift the lizard on to his shoulders. It was heavier then Kitran expected, but you learned to deal with heavy weight in his mode of employ.

"Whoa!" The lizard shouted as Kitran stood up, then he looked around "Wow, you are tall!" It put it's claw above it's eyes once more and scanned the crowd infront of him. After a few minutes of it scanning and Kitran looking at his homework the lizard leaped a little bit and said "Ah ha! There she is!" Then he waved and shouted "Hey! Twilight, Over here!"

Kitran looked up at the lizard and said "We seem to be looking for the same person apparently." The lizard looked down at Kitran's face, then his hand as Kitran had extended it. "Kitran."

The lizard took his hand and said "Name's Spike, thanks for your help." as he gave the hand one firm shake.

Kitran just set him down as he said "I had nothing better to do." as Twilight popped her head out of the crowd.

"I see you've been introduced, that will make things much simpler." She said with a grin, "Have you seen the others yet?" Kitran and Spike shook their head, then Rarity moved out of the throng with Apple Jack in tow

"You simply MUST let me make you a dress for your family reunion!" Rarity pleaded to her less-then-pleased looking friend.

"No." the less-then-pleased looking friend said with finality, Rarity pouted but said no more. Kitran noticed that his scaly  purple companion's now heart shaped eyes were now jutting from his head in Rarity's direction.

Kitran was about to ask why his eyes were like that when Pinky pie popped up from behind Spike and said "Hiyah everypony, Kit and Spike included of course!" as she hopped from behind her scaly cover. Kitran wanted to say something about that as well but wasn't quite sure what it was he wanted to say.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew in over the crowd as Dash said loudly "You owe me twenty bits, told yah I'd find them." she said with a smug smirk.

"Umm... I don't remember ever agreeing to that bet at all, but I'll pay if you want..." Fluttershy said from behind her mane.

Dash just waved a hoof dismissively at Fluttershy as they landed in the middle of the group. "Everyone ready to go?" Twilight asked as she looked around the group.

Everyone said the affirmative, except for Rarity. "I just need some help with my bags, could a strong and handsome dragon help me with them?" She asked Spike as she batted her eyelashes. He blushed brightly as he nodded and then walked over to the heaping pile of bags that Kitran had managed not to notice till now, and lifted it up without so much as a grunt. Kitran had to convince his jaw with the promise of food to keep it closed as he watched.

"So we are off?" Twilight asked as she scanned the group once more, Kitran's response was to walk out of the door with his bags and wait for the rest to file out and took up a position behind Spike as the rest of the group moved along.

|*|

They walked through the town without incident and arrived at a tree/house thing.  There was a sign in front of the tree house that had an open book on it, and there was a telescope on the second story balcony, other then that it looked like a tree with windows. "This is the Library, where I work and sleep." Twilight said to Kitran as she gestured towards the building.

"Reminds me of how Elves built their houses in the books I read as a child," He said to her as they walked closer, "That reminds me, where is a Hote-"

He noticed that he was walking in a shadow at that point, a shadow that wasn't a cloud's, so he looked up towards the sun and caught sight of a shape in the sun. It's feathery wings were beating the air powerfully, but it was moving to fast to make out the rest of it... it was moving towards them. "Incoming." he said loudly as he watched the shadow intently.

"Wait... is that G-" Rainbow started to say before the shadow landed in front of them more gracefully then Kitran would have expected.

"Hey Dweebs, what this thing?" The eagle headed creature said with as she inspected one of her fore-talons with feigned disinterest, "New pet?" she added as she set the talon down and looked at Kitran's face with mild disdain.

"Shut up, Gilda!" Rainbow said as she took up a boxing pose, which confused Kitran a little because he didn't know they had boxing here, "Leave us alone!" she said as she flicked a hoof across her own nose.

"It's a free country, Dweeb, I can do what I want." she said as her gaze turned to Dash

Dash was just about to lunge when Twilight quickly said "This is Kitran," she stared at Rainbow as she continued, "he is a new friend of ours, and he will be staying in Ponyville for a while if you need to know."

"Whatever, Dweeb, I don't really care..." Gilda looked back at Kitran with same look as before, "Looks like a Dweeb to me..."

Kitran was actually getting very irritated by the newcomer's lack of vocabulary in the insults department. It wouldn't hurt to throw in a "moron" or "idiot" every once and a while... He thought as he stared right back at Gilda.

"What brings you to Ponyvile, Gilda, I never thought I'd see you back here after what happened last time..." Rarity said with a flick of her mane.

Pinky giggled as she said "Yeah! You didn't seem to like my pranks very much!"

Gilda broke eye contact with Kitran, but he noticed just before her head turned away that one of her eyebrows twitched as she said "No... they were a riot, really..." She looked back at him and noticed he was still looking at her, "What's you problem, Dweeb?" she walked up to him and stuck her face right in front of his, "Do I got something on my face, or are you just retarded?"

Kitran raised an eyebrow as she breathed in his face, "I don't believe either are true, it's just polite to look at someone when your talking to them." He stated simply as she glared daggers into his eyes.

She broke of the engagement and said "Whatever, Dweeb, your still a retard."

Oh enough of this... He thought irritably as he said "Is your vernacular really that lacking or are you just a lazy fool?" as he continued to look at the side of her face. The tension in the area increased a hundred fold.

She turned her head towards him slowly as she glared into his eyes "What was that Dweeb?" the last word dripping with venom.

He continued unabated "I said: are you stupid fool, or a lazy fool?" He didn't even blink as she walked back over to him and pressed her beak into his nose.

"Did you just say what I think you said, Dweeb?" her eyes flicked between his as she breathed in his face.

"Depends... Did you think I called you an uneducated moron with no life or friends?" Despite the tension, despite the shocked look on his companions faces; Kitran was enjoying himself... He didn't like that, that meant something was amiss...

Gilda didn't even respond, she just took flight and flew off. "Whoa..." Dash said quietly, "I didn't know you could be so mean, dude." Kitran didn't respond as he looked at the ground with furrowed brows.

"Well... that was... unpleasant," Rarity said as she turned to Spike "Lets go to the Boutique, I need put away my thi-"

Suddenly Kitran was flying through they air, with his shoulder held in a vice like grip. "IF you like education so much, how about I give you some flying lessons?" Gilda said as they flew through the air. Kitran heard a collective gasp behind him as he flew higher.

The return quip was off of his tongue before he could stop himself, "Take you that whole time to come up with that, I'm sorry to say that in the battle of wits you have arrived unarmed..." She just growled and suddenly dived towards some trees.

She dunked him in the branches and said "Oops, sorry about that, I guess the "Uneducated moron" in me is starting to show." She barked out a single "Ha!" as she pulled him out of the canopy. After a time of flying around at breakneck speeds in sharp corners Gilda shouted "Time for the advanced stuff, Dweeb!" as she did a Loop-de-loop, Kitran f barely fought the wave of nausea, but caught sight of Dash in pursuit behind them. "Looks like someone has a stalker, Don't worry, I'll lose 'em!" Gilda yelled in his ear as she sped up once more.

"Get back here!" Dash shouted from behind them, Gilda's response was to drop Kitran, then dive to pick him up just before he hit the ground.

"Oops, lost my grip there, Dweeb!" she shouted as she corkscrewed back up into the sky, "I guess if I wasn't so Dumb I'd be able to hold onto things better!" She jetted back towards the library, "I think they need to see how good of a flyer you are!"

Rainbow was much closer now, about ten feet behind them from the sound of the voice that boomed behind them "PUT HIM DOWN!"

After a moment Gilda laughed and said "As you wish, Dweeb!" and she let go.

|*|

"PUT HIM DOWN!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she coaxed a little more speed out of her wings, Just a little further, Dash, everyone knows your the fastest flyer in Equestria... Her face flapped in the wind as she drew closer to Her Ex-Best friend's tail.

"As you wish, Dweeb!" was all she heard as she saw Kit sail through the air, but she zoomed right past him before she could change her course to catch him, so she continued to chase Gilda as she dived down and skimmed the ground.

She sped up even faster, gain she almost had Gilda in her grasp Almost... She reached her hoof out, ALMOST... Her hoof brushed Gilda's tail feathers. "Ah H-" Gilda flicked herself upwards and Dash just had enough time to say "WOAH!" before crashing straight into Twilight, a bolt of magic shooting up into the air.

"Ow..." Dash said as she rubbed her head, "You alright Twi?" Twilight just smiled sheepishly and nodded, then there was a series of crashes behind them, they turned to look and saw Kit lying on the second story balcony, with a telescope underneath him. Gilda landed beside Dash with a slight puff of dust.

"What a Dweeb, couldn't even take a simple crash!" Gilda said loudly as she smiled Triumphantly.

"What the big deal, Gilda, he could really be hurt!" Dash yelled as she stood up and stuck her face in Gilda's, "Where do you get off doing that?"

Gilda stuck her face right back in Dash's, "Well if he didn't call me stupid I wouldn't have had to show him his place, now would I, Dweeb!"

"Well maybe if you learned a new insult then he wouldn't have done that, Dweeb!" Rainbow yelled back in Gilda's face. They stared at each other for a few more moments before Gilda broke eye contact and mumbled a weak insult

Dash continued to glare as she flapped open her wings and flew up to the balcony, only to find a broken telescope and some branches. "Kit?" she said with more then a small note of confusion in her voice, "You up here?" She heard a door slam, so she looked over the edge of the balcony and saw Kit standing just outside the door. She flew straight down from the balcony and walked towards him.

Before she got there he walked over to Gilda and said "Oh Thank you! I needed a good drop on me noggin!" Dash stopped in her tracks and took a closer look at him, and noticed he was holding himself completely different from before; he was in a relaxed pose and rocking on his feet ever so slightly.

"Kit? are you-" she started to say before his hand flew up into the air and waved a finger as he made a "tut-tut" sound

"Don't you know it's rude to interrupt, Rainbow, now give me a moment with Gilda here..." he turned his attention back to Gilda, "Sorry about that... Now you helped me, so I have to give you something in return!" Gilda just looked at him funny as she leaned away from him, "Actually two things, it's your lucky day!" Then he did something REALLY unexpected, lightning quick his hand latched onto the sides of her face and he pulled his lips into hers. Gilda's eyes went to size of the moon and she flailed around, He let go after a moment and as she spit every where he said "One!"

Gilda gained enough composure to yell at him, "WHAT IS WRONG WIT-" Then he spun around full circle and hooked his fist right behind her beak, She spun around a few times in the air before landing into the ground with a dull "Thud".

"Two." He said as he knelt down and patted her unconscious face affectionately. He stood up and looked around with his hands on his hips, and a smile on his lips as he sighed happily.

It was about this time Dash reattached her jaw, but before she, or anyone else, could say anything thing Kit sprinted towards the center of town at a speed she had never seen him use before. The group watched him go, then looked at each other with confused expression on all of there faces as Twilight said "Did that just happen?"