A ruined Vacation

Wilhelm stared up and the rainbow colored apple in the tree above his head and drooled, "That looks glorious..." he mumbled to himself as he swayed. Then Granny Smith tapped the back of his head with her cane, being much more gentle then before, and pointed at the Zap Apple Bucking gear that Applejack and Big mac were putting on; it was basically several rods that spanned the length of the users body and were attached to each other with lightly wrapped wire, all of this was over a pad of rubber that separated it from the wearer's body, and at the ends were metal shoes.

"It lets us kick the trees without getting zapped." Applejack told Wilhelm helpfully as she cinched up the last leg.

"Looks like BDSM gear to me!" Wilhelm chirped happily, then he added in a much more seductive voice as he wiggled his eyebrows, "It suites you well..." and Applejack stood there with her mouth hanging open as Big Mac glared a beam of intense hate straight into the side of Wilhelm's head, who turned and winked at Big mac and said "You look even better, Big Guy." Then he walked out to "buck" the trees, as he left he heard Granny fall over laughing.

Wilhelm walked up to a sturdy looking tree, tapped it a few times, and scoffed as nothing happened. He punched the tree with a "Hata!" and jumped back as lightning traveled down his rig and into the ground, "Cool!" and he watched a single zap apple drop into the basket beside him. "Muahahahaha..." he mumbled evilly as he practiced his sorely lacking martial arts on the trunk, and dropping an apple per punch as he shouted "Hata" with every punch. After about two or three minutes he was done with the tree and walked to the next one with a frown on his face.

"Not fast enough..." He mumbled to himself as he looked the next tree with a critical eye, then he shrugged as he kicked it like an Apple... a single apple dropped from the tree as it sparked lazily. "Fuck you tree, I hit alot harder then that!" he said as he kicked the tree again, this time dropping two apples and causing a stronger blast that traveled down his rig. "I see..." he said as he tapped his chin and zapped himself, "Ow!" he yowled as he hopped back and shook his head. "Note to self: don't do that."

He walked up to the tree again and kicked it for a third time, and then noticed his other foot was cold, and as the spark traveled back down the tree he looked down and noticed he was standing in a puddle that he had narrowly avoided before. "FU-" was all he got out before he flew back an into another tree, that zapped him and sent him to the first tree, which sent him back again. Luckily that tree was out of energy and he just bounced off of the trunk and twitched on the ground, "O-o-ow-w-w." he stuttered as he curled up in the fetal position as he heard a drumming come from either side of him. After he gained enough control of his body to stand up he walked over to the baskets and smiled at the fact they were filled to bursting, "New tactic!" he shouted as he jump kicked another tree, only to have the lightning spark from his other foot and into the ground. He landed at the same time as the single apple he dropped from the tree, "Newer tactic..." he mumbled to himself as he took off the rig and launched himself at the tree once more, which caused a chain reaction of short distance flights to other trees.

|*|

Twilight hummed happily as she walked up the road to the Apple farm as Spike slept on her back, she giggled to herself as he rolled over and mumbled something about "Mecha-whales". Twilight smiled to herself as she thought about the lunch she was going to surprise them with, and of course the little present she was going to give Wilhelm as an apology. She walked up the driveway and knocked on the door, expecting Granny to answer the door, but there was no answer. "Huh... that's weird..." she muttered to herself as she heard a strange noise quickly rise in volume behind her.

Then Wilhelm slammed into the walk less then two feet beside her and the noise cut off instantly, "AH!" he shouted as he jerkily pulled himself from the him-shaped dent he put in the wall, "Hi! Gotta go!" he said as he sent up a dust cloud and disappeared.

Spike pushed himself up on Twilight's back as he said slowly "Whoa..." then he dropped to the ground and looked at Twilight as she watch Wilhelm spasm and fall to the ground, only to pick himself and dart back into the trees.

"We need to investigate..." Twilight told Spike as she walked cautiously towards the Zap Apple trees, then she caught a glimpse of Applejack running around like a mad pony as she shouted. Twilight noticed the smile that was on her friends face, that disappeared for a second as Wilhelm sailed past her head.

Twilight waved at Applejack when she reached the trees, then Applejack cut off anything Twilight was going to say as she sprinted past by saying "No time, talk in ten minutes!" Twilight and Spike looked at each other, then the trees and noticed that they were almost all bare of apples, which wasn't usually done this early. So Twilight did the best thing she could do and went back to the house to set up lunch.

Twilight winced every time Wilhelm slammed into the house which, thankfully, was only two more times, but she heard him sail past the house more then a few times. Every time he ran back past he was cackling like Discord loud enough to wake the dead, after about ten minutes had passed Applejack opened front door and collapsed on the ground as she said "We're done..." as she panted loudly.

"Already?" Twilight said calmly as she gave Applejack an apple, which was eaten greedily as Twilight continued, "You aren't usually done for several more hours."

"Ah know, and we usually miss a few trees... But this time we had a helper that is insane"

Twilight chuckled as she said "No, he's not, he's just..."

"Crazy?" Applejack said as she lifted herself off of the floor and walked to the table as her brother walked in.

"Bonkers?" Spike offered helpfully as he set the table, only to earn a scathing glare from Twilight.

"He's Loopy." Big Mac stated as he sat heavily on the closest chair.

"Eccentric..." Twilight said forcefully, cutting off anymore "Helpful" phrases, then she looked around and asked, "Where is he?" Then he coughed loudly behind her and waved as she turned, jumped away and yelped loudly in surprise.

"Hi, I'm really energetic... so I'ma go burn some of that before I eat, okidoki?" He stated simply as he grinned widely and his eye twitched

"Okay?" Twilight said as she leaned away from him, then he sprinted out of the door... and on to the puddle that was at the base of the step. Twilight had never heard then noise that he made before... nor did she ever want to hear it again, but on the might-be-plus side she now knew what his skeletal structure looked like. Wilhelm landed face first on the ground, then he begin to pick himself up almost immediately, though it took some time before he actually accomplished the task.

"S-s-short c-circuits hur-r-rt..." He said when he stood up and swayed before shaking his head and turning around, "Now I feel better!" Then he sat down in a free chair and grabbed a plate. Twilight just shook her head as she served up lunch.

After lunch the Apple family, plus three, turned the Zap Apples into jam and it was well after dusk when they finished. Wilhelm yawned loudly as he finished putting the last one on the counter, "Welp, I'm going to go visit Rarity." he stated loudly as turned to walk out the door, only to have Twilight stop him with a word.

"Why?"

Wilhelm placed his foot on the ground, turned to Twilight, and said as he plucked at his shirt, "I need new threads." then he swiped a jar of jam and bolted out the door as he yelled and waved "Take it out of my pay!" Wilhelm ran down the road for a few minutes and, when he noticed that no one was following him, he slowed down to a brisk walk and sighed sadly "Aw... they trust me now... Wait, that's a good thing!" and he smiled again as he walked to the Carousel Boutique.

|*|

Rarity was working on Fluttershy's dress for this years Gala as she heard a knock on the door, "Just a moment!" She called out delicately as she set down the dress and walked over to the door, when she opened it she found the one person that she wasn't expecting, the only "Person" she knew actually. "Oh... It's you, what would you like?" she stated in a deadpan voice.

Wilhelm held up the Jam and stated in a rather business like tone, "I want to make you a deal." Rarity looked at him, then the jam, then him again with her eyebrow raised in a rather displeased manner.

"And that would be?"

"I want to secure your cooperation with me..." Then Wilhelm added in a slightly less formal tone, "Lets face it, you don't like me, and I don't like you."

Rarity gave him an amazingly level stare as she said, "You just hammered the last nail of that coffin, to use a rather barbaric terminology."

Wilhelm shrugged as he walked past her into the Boutique and said, "It's suites me well enough" and puts the jar on her work desk, eyed the half finished dress for a moment, then he turned around and looked her in the face, "Fun fact: you remind me of my sister."

Rarity shook her head in confusion as she asked, "Where did that come from?"

"I could tell you wanted to know why I don't like you, and yet want your help."

Rarity nodded her head slowly as she said, "The thought did cross my mind..."

"Well, that's why... My sister is a cantankerous, selfish bitch and you seem just like her... except less drunk."

Rarity's response was to fluster with rage and shout, "Why I never!" then she pointed a hoof at the door and said with a rather sharp tone as she regained her composure, "Leave... Please."

Wilhelm just leaned on a manikin and inspected it's neck as he said, "Not just yet, toots, I said you remind me of my sister, not that you are my sister." He wiped his finger along the side of the neck on the manikin quickly, inspected his finger and said "I've come to understand that your the Element of Generosity, which means your nothing like her deep, DEEP, down... But I honestly don't have the patience to find that out, thus the deal." He looked at her as she finally lowered her hoof, but she kept the withering glare.

"And that is?" she asked in a plainly displeased voice.

Wilhelm pushed off the manikin lightly and said "It's rather simple really, I'll dig for gems for free, and I get one favor from you."

"No deal." She said almost immediately.

"It's nothing bad-"

"No." she stomped her hoof in punctuation and pointed at the door, "Leave."

Wilhelm looked away for a full minute before he looked at her with a completely dead pan expression, his demeanor completely changed from before, Rarity blink in confusion just before he said quietly "I need your help," he sighed sadly before continuing just as quietly as before, "I want... I want to be whole."

Rarity shook her head in confusion for the second time that night, then asked "What?"

He looked down to the side as he said "I... Just need your help... Okay." He looked her straight in the eyes as he kept the deadpan look and asked quietly "Yes or no?"

Rarity looked around the room nervously, then Wilhelm walked past her as he said "I need to know, but there is no rush, take your time." then he walked out the door, turned to look at Rarity one more time and said as he closed the door, "I'm sorry about the insults... I-I don't really mean them."

Rarity stood in place for a moment, rooted by shock, as she thought about the whole encounter and realized that by the end the barbaric, insufferable, classless ignoramus was... crying. Rarity walked over to her work table, sat down and looked at the dress that sat there, then at the jar and decided she needed a light snack.