The Bronerific Adventures of Freddie and Austin

It was once again....That time of the day....

Freddie impatiently tapped his pencil against the wooden desk he sat in. He continued to look at the clock....A LOT.

And why wouldn't he? School was hell, anybody with an inch of brain matter knew this....Freddie especially....It was 3:10...Five minutes until school left out.

And when that bell rang, Freddie would treat it just like any other day on the outside....He would smile, engage in some quick conversations with his friends....Grab his things, and make his exit.

His 7th hour, though, was in a goddamn trailer of all places.... Modular 7, to be exact....So he would have to walk back down to the school, then to his locker, THEN go home....

It didn't take TOO long....It was just....So stupid.....Why can't this town build a bigger high-school? They weren't dirt poor, dammit...They had their shit together....But yet, they had about TWELVE trailers about a quarter mile away from the damn place! Whatever, Freddie hated thinking about it, anyway....It just pissed him off.

Today was a special day, anyway....There was no reason for Freddie to be pissed off....Absolutely no reason....

Why be so happy? Well, today was the day. The season three premiere of Freddie's favorite Television show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

That's RIIIIGHT! Unfortunately for YOU, Freddie is a brony, and a proud one, at that. He had only been one since June 21st, 2012....He was pissed off he didn't know the EXACT time, be he digresses...It was sometime in the 8 o' clock P.M. hour.

Like said, Freddie hadn't been a Brony for TOO long, but he got it.....He knew his shit. He had watched all 52 episodes of the show in less than three weeks. Sure, other bronies had done it faster, no doubt...But Freddie had other shit to watch too, like UberHaxorNova, and.....Hmmm...He's drawing a blank right now, but he's SURE there's more!

Anyway, yeah! He's a Brony. No merchandise yet, except for many pony figurines, which was a start. Someday, Freddie hoped to have t-shirts, and lanyards, and.....Homemade Pinkie Pie fruit snacks, although he MIGHT scratch that off his list.....Because he's pretty sure HOMEMADE fruits snacks, made by STRANGERS....Would not taste good....Especially if they clopped before making them. Ugh. Freddie cringed at the thought.

Yeah, Freddie didn't know many other Bronies.....There was Tye Johnson, Zane Dotson, Nathan Bougeno, Curtis Altis, Kyler......Freddie didn't know Kyler's last name, he would probably have to ask him that soon.....And then, there was Austin Ross, his best friend, and the young man who lead Freddie on the path....To Bronyhood. Seriously, he would have to hug him for that one day!

Freddie and company were trying to convert Ashton Wall, one of Freddie's other friends, to Bronyism.....He didn't seem to be budging, as he kept coming up with the excuse "My Xbox is still broken!" Because Ashton didn't have a good computer, which was a fucking LAME excuse anyway! Freddie had a feeling that Ashton was ALREADY a brony anyway, so it didn't even matter.....The proof was in the pudding....He said the name Scootaloo more than his OWN name!

Back to the matter at hand, though. Basically, Freddie was bored, like any other kid in his spot would be. He wanted to just go home, and watch My Little Pony....With Austin of course, since it was Friday, and he was coming over to watch it with him, since Austin didn't have satellite. Freddie didn't know WHY the show premiered at 6:00 P.M. on a FRIDAY instead of a SATURDAY like it normally did, but Freddie just figured that The Hub was trying something different.

"Yo, Fredrick!" Freddie's 7th hour teacher, Mr. Keagy called out. "Quit with that tapping, man, it. HURTS. MY. BRAIN!"

Mr. Chris Keagy was a slender man, (NO, NOT THAT TYPE OF SLENDER, DICKS.) with a bald head. He was know for being very....Eccentric....VERY eccentric. He taught American Government. His favorite singer is Justin Timberlake, or "The Angel sent from Heaven", as Mr. Keagy called him. He's NOT gay, like stated, he's just fucking ECCENTRIC!

Freddie chuckled, and lightly sat his pencil down. "Sorry, Mr. Keagy.....I'm just bored."

"You're bored?" Mr. Keagy replied. "Go jump in the Atlantic Ocean and hug a jellyfish. When he shocks you, you'll soil your pants, and THAT will teach you to never be bored again!"

Freddie and many of his classmates began laughing, but Mr. Keagy had a serious expression on his face.

"I'm serious. I'll even accompany you to prove it!" Mr. Keagy suggested, randomly pulling out a snorkel and grinning.

"Uhhh....That's okay, Mr. Keagy." Freddie replied, wondering where the hell he got the snorkel from. Mr. Keagy was like the Pinkie Pie of Earth. Freddie wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing...

Mr. Keagy then frowned. "You mean....You don't want me to accompany you?" Freddie shook his head. "PIECE OF CRAP!" He yelled. "YOU'LL DIE OUT THERE WITHOUT A MENTOR!"

"You'll just scare the jellyfish away!" Tyler Trautman stupidly said.

Alex Miller and Wyatt Wachter turned towards Tyler with stern looks on their faces.

"Shut up, Tortoise." The two jocks said at the same time, causing Tyler to stare them down.

"That's not my name...." Tyler seriously protested, but the two jocks just replied with a chuckle and a shake of their heads.

"Now you know how I feel, you son of a bitch." Freddie quietly said to Tyler. "Always calling me Freddie Kruger, Freddie Machete, and all that other stupid shit...."

"Freddie-San's cool though, right, dude?" Tye Johnson asked.

"I'm not Asian, for I don't squint....But I don't care." Freddie answered plainly.

Tye just chuckled. "You got that OC done yet?"

Freddie sighed. "No Tye.....Just...Give me time...." In reality, Freddie didn't give a shit about an OC, and would only work on one on HIS terms.

"I'm giving you a few weeks, dude...." Tye said, like this was the most important thing in the world to him. Please....OC DONE WHEN OC DONE!

"That reminds me of a story!" Mr. Keagy blurted out of nowhere. "Not ABOUT jellyfishes, but I once saw someone that RESEMBLED a jellyfish! So, this one day, I'm at the gas station, and-"

Mr. Keagy was interrupted by the blaring of the school bell. WAAAA, WAAAAA, WAAAA.....That's what Freddie wanted to say, be he didn't. Although Mr. Keagy would've went with it, because he was just that awesome of a teacher.

Freddie, Kyler, and Tye took their time leaving Mr. Keagy's class, as they discussed just how EXCITED they were for season three. As they went outside, they were face to face with Curtis.....And a Curtis, with a GIANT grin on his face, non-the-less....That's the WORST kind of Curtis.....

"Hey guys!" Curtis said, obviously excited for season three like every other brony on the Planet was.

Freddie sighed. "Go away, bad dream...."

Kyler scowled, and held his right hand up to Freddie's face.

"Oh shit!" Freddie replied, sarcastically scared. "It's Magneto again! Everyone run for your life!"

"If only...." Kyler said. "You wouldn't have a face right now...."

Freddie smirked. "Yes I would. I keep extra faces piled around St. Clair in case of....."

"Emergency?" Kyler, Curtis and Tye guessed at the same time.

Freddie nodded. "You got it!"

"You MUST be ready for season 3, Freddie!" Curtis hinted. "You're quoting Pinkie Pie, after all."

"I'm always quoting Pinkie Pie...." Freddie added.

"Which is why he wins the points!" Kyler proclaimed, bro-hoofing Freddie.

"ALL of the points?" Asked Tye. Freddie sighed.

"Minus 3 points for the sigh...." Curtis said.

Freddie shook his head, taken aback by how....Similar his friends were to him....

"Man...." Freddie thought. "They may be similar to me....But DAMN, are they weird! Just like me!"

"We're still having another meeting tonight, right, Freddie?" Kyler asked curiously. He, of course, was referring to The Brony Club, and it's Friday meetings. Yes, St. Clair High School had a BRONY club, of all things. Sure, there was magic club, chess club, book club, but that was all nerdy shit to Freddie, so, he, his friends, and a lot of other bronies he hadn't quite gotten acquainted with yet, signed a petition. Mr. Hillman, the school principal, needed at least 50 signatures, Freddie and company got fifty one, good enough for it to pass. When asked what exactly a "Brony Club" is, or even more-so, what a "Brony" is, Freddie basically told him the truth, Mr. Hillman just stared at Freddie in response.

Flashback......

"I....Ummm...I see....." Mr. Hillman replied, still staring.

Mr. Hillman was a heavy-set man. Not very tall for what'd you'd expect of a man what that size. He looked identical to the principal at the Junior High, Mr. Hamlet, Freddie almost thought they were separated at birth. Mr. Hillman also had a Hitler stache goin' on, but he wasn't a dick like Hamlet, so nobody called him "Hitler."

"....Soooooo....?" Freddie broke the silence, REALLY starting to feel awkward. "Is it....Okay if the club....Ya know, gets made? We do need your approval, of course...."

"I'm....Still NOT quite sure I follow, Freddie...." Mr. Hillman replied. "What you are saying, to me....Is that, you want to create a club....For "Bronies", fans of My Little Pony, to get together?"

Freddie simply nodded. "Yes sir. Is there a problem with that?"

"Well....N-not really....Except...."

"Except WHAT, sir?" Freddie asked, raising an eyebrow. He expected this response, but he never expected the ALL MIGHTY POWERFUL PRINCIPAL HILLMAN, to be reduced to nothing but a shocked, stuttering mess.

"I....Thought I was the only one....." Mr. Hillman replied, hanging his head.

Freddie silently gasped. "M-Mr....Mr. Hillman....Are you.....Are you a BRONY?"

Mr. Hillman said nothing. He simply got up from his chair, and proceeded to loosen his belt. Freddie immediately jumped back in surprise, wanting to run out of his office right away.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA, sir!" Freddie screeched, shielding his eyes. "Dinner and a movie first, PLEASE!"

Mr. Hillman scowled. "Freddie. Me and you are close, as Principal, and Student, don't ruin that relationship by what you're thinking...."

"BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SHOW ME YOUR CROTCH, SIR!" Freddie shouted. Good thing it was lunch at the moment, so the secretary couldn't come in and kill the pedophilic principal with a shovel or some mildly dangerous shit. Which was, also, kind of a bad thing. Sure, Freddie could take this tub of lard EASILY, so there was not even a POSSIBILITY of him getting raped, but still, that didn't mean he was going to be safe from Mr. Hillman's Ham-bone.

Freddie was SERIOUSLY regretting coming in here in the first place now. Having his own club was NOT worth it if he had to see his principal's pal to get it.

"Freddie!" Mr. Hillman replied, getting annoyed at the thought of one the most....Perverted Students at St. Clair High thinking.....Well, with his mind in the gutter. What else did he expect? "Freddie, please, just LOOK."

Freddie whined like a little bitch, and separated his middle and ring finger apart from each other. He gasped even louder this time, when he saw a smile surrounded by a pink jawline on Mr. Hillman's underwear. He then dispersed both of his hands, and relished in the sight of his principal, wearing Pinkie Pie underwear.....PINKIE. FUCKING. PIE. UNDERWEAR!

Freddie should have been excited that the most powerful man in the school district, besides Mr. Murphy, the superintendent, was indeed a Brony, but all he could think about right now....Was laughing his ass off.

Mr. Hillman frowned as Freddie began to guffaw at the ridiculous sight in front of him. He at least expected a bro-hoof....But instead, he got a bro-haha.

"I-...I'm so sorry, sir!" Freddie apologized, as he sat down in the chair by Mr. Hillman's desk, and drank some of his Aqua water to try and relax, but he spat all of the water out when he couldn't help but take another peek at Mr. Hillman's undergarments. The water Freddie spat out, showered Mr. Hillman's office Ficus tree.

"Well," Mr. Hillman. "At least now I won't have to water that thing today..."

Freddie sat the water back on his desk, realizing he may choke if he drank anything in the state his principal was. Lunch would be ending soon, and he needed to seal the deal on this agreement already. No matter how...Tempted he was to continue giggling at this, he knew there were more important things in life, like getting that Club deal finalized.

"I'll admit, Freddie. I never expected your reaction...To be like THAT." Mr. Hillman stated, almost sadly. "I figured us fellow Bronies could, like bro-hoof, or something."

"Again, sir, I'm sorry." Freddie apologized, now with a straight face. "That was just, TOO rich."

"As rich as Zap Apple jam?" Mr. Hillman asked with a cheeky smile, one that Freddie did NOT return.

"Uhhh.....Sure....Look, we can exchange all the quotes and references you want some other time, but for right now, I need to know if it's okay to have a club like this."

"Of course!" Mr. Hillman spouted instantly. "I'd be HONORED to sponsor a Brony club. It's GREAT to know I'm not the only Brony in this school, so, yes, yes, YES! But...There's just, ONE thing...."

"What is it?" Freddie asked. "I'd do virtually ANYTHING to get this club going."

Mr. Hillman chuckled. "And I'd do anything to make it happen. All I need is at least fifty signatures for the club to get finalized. And no, you can't forge made up people's names, or even a real person's name, these fifty signatures, MUST be Bronies."

"But, how will you be able to distinguish Brony and non-brony from those who signed the petition?" Freddie asked.

Mr. Hillman thought for a moment, thinking about what could mark the latter between a Brony, and a non-brony. It suddenly came to him. "All they need to do, is state their favorite pony. That's all."

"So, fifty signatures, male OR female?" Mr. Hillman nodded. "Okay. And their favorite ponies. Got it. What if their AREN'T fifty bronies in this school, though?"

Mr. Hillman sighed. "I'm sorry, Freddie, but those are the rules. All the other clubs had to get fifty signatures to get the Seal of Approval. It wouldn't be fair if I made it any less."

"But those Clubs actually seem...Interesting to most people in this school." Freddie pointed out. "Ya know, like Rachel's Challenge, and ROTC, THOSE are for a good cause. I doubt many would be interested in a Brony club once they figure out what it's actually about...."

Mr. Hillman smiled weakly. "You never know, Freddie. I bet you at least ONE of our Football players like My Little Pony in this school! You just can never tell what someone's interests are, just by looking at them."

"Heh. You're right, sir. But still, fifty one? That MAY take a while to get, ya know?" Freddie was hoping 50 Bronies moved to St. Clair, and went to sign up for their High School RIGHT now. That'd be a gift from GOD, for sure. Unfortunately, those odds....Were very, VERY slim....

"Tell ya what," Mr. Hillman said. "I'LL be the first Brony to sign your petition. How about that? You can then sign, and then, you'll only need fourty eight!"

"Really? Awwww MAN! Thank you, Mr. Hillman!"

"It's no problem." Mr. Hillman replied, putting his black pen to the paper he had just gotten out. "I feel COMPELLED to help my fellow Bronies in ANY way I can!" He sat his pen down, and handed the paper to Freddie.

Freddie analyzed the paper, it had Mr. Hillman's name, in cursive, of course. Freddie hoped cursive signatures were NOT a MUST, because he SUCKED at cursive. It was the only reason he almost failed the second grade.

He then decided to look to the left, to figure out who his principal's favorite pony was. He should have known it would have been Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie Pie, eh?" Freddie said with a chuckle, as he began to write his own name down on the petition.

"Yup!" Mr. Hillman cheerfully replied. "Every time I have to deal with the more....Horribly behaved students at this school, I just plug in my headphones after they leave, and listen to the Smile Song. I feel all better instantly!" He then scowled. "And then FIVE minutes later.....It all happens again!"

Freddie laughed. "You've just gotta love and tolerate them, Mr. Hillman."

"How can I love and tolerate Jacob Davis for urinating in the drinking fountain next to the Auditorium?!" Mr. Hillman replied with more anger than Freddie had ever seen him in.

Freddie remembered that day. He had literally, taken a drink from that same fountain TWO minutes before Jacob Davis pissed in it. That was only a month ago, and Mr. Hillman hadn't been the same since dealing with THAT situation....

"I see what you mean, then." Freddie replied with a smirk.

Mr. Hillman looked over Freddie's signature, and chuckled when he remembered that Freddie wasn't the best at cursive. "Your signature is fine, Freddie. They don't HAVE to sign in cursive."

"Cool." Said Freddie with a smile, but inside, HE WAS FUCKING GOING HAPPY WITH WOW FUCK.

"Rarity?" Mr. Hillman asked, Freddie nodding in response. Mr. Hillman then gave Freddie a thumbs down, this shocked Freddie. "She's probably....Number 15 on the list."

"Oh COME ON, Mr. Hillman!" Freddie replied with much emotion. "That is just...So....RUDE. Pinkie Pie is FANTASTIC, she's number three behind Rainbow Dash, but really? Really? REALLY?"

"Really, Freddie. Really." Mr. Hillman shrugged. "She just whines too much."

Freddie gasped. "But SIR! She is NOT whining, she, is a LADY, therefore, she, is COMPLAINING. Whining is a POLAR opposite from Complaining."

Mr. Hillman smirked. "Clever, Freddie. Clever." The bell then rang, meaning that first lunch shift was now over, second lunch shift would now begin, and Freddie had to return to Health class. "Well, that's your cue, Freddie. I wish you luck in getting those forty eight other signatures, and I look forward to talking more about ponies with-" Mr. Hillman then froze.

"What?" Freddie asked, wanting to know what had caused his principal to stop talking. Freddie turned around, and saw a boy with a curly, black afro standing there, smiling like a creeper. He looked like a sixteen year old Howard Stern.

"Hi." The boy said, still showing his teeth in that smile that made Freddie want to NOT prepare his anus. "My name is Brody Nee, I just moved here from Eureka. I'm here to sign up for school!"

Mr. Hillman had still not pulled his pants up yet, making this situation all the more awkward and odd, but Brody didn't seem to mind, he just wouldn't stop smiling.

"Are you the principal?" He asked, gesturing to Mr. Hillman. Mr. Hillman just simply nodded, still out of it by the appearance of Brody. He'd be fine....If he actually had his pants up...

"Nice Pinkie Pie underwear, Principal.....?" Brody complimented, wanting to know his soon to be principal's name.

Both Mr. Hillman and Freddie's jaws dropped. Freddie got about 1 percent of his wish.....It seemed as though at least ONE Brony had moved to St. Clair whenever he asked for it.

"Y-you're a Brony....?" Freddie asked, still shocked.

"Yup!" Brody said, pulling down his own pants, and revealing some Fluttershy underwear.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS SCHOOL KEEP PULLING THEIR PANTS DOWN!?" Freddie huffed.

"Cuz it seems like a trend here." Brody replied. "Plus, I just like showing off my COOL pony garments! You're a brony, too?"

"Yup." Freddie replied. "My name's Freddie Hediger, and this is Mr. Hillman." Mr. Hillman did not wave, he just continued to stare at Brody's crotch area, making this even worse on himself.

"Cool! What's that paper in your hand?" Brody asked curiously.

"This? I was just trying to begin a Brony club, for after school. Mr. Hillman said I needed 50 signatures, me and him are the first two. Would YOU like to sign next?"

"Are you kidding?! Of course!" Brody tried to move forward, but he just fell on his face, due to his pants still being around his ankles. He then crawled towards Freddie, not even thinking to pull his pants off. After all, it'd do him, AND Mr. Hillman some damn good....

Brody then signed his name, and put his favorite pony, and handed the petition back to Freddie. "Rarity and Pinkie Pie? Cool! They're 4th and 2nd on my list respectively, but, I've got to give number 1 to Fluttershy!"

"It's a good choice." Freddie replied. "Isn't it, Mr. Hillman?" He just nodded, his mouth still agape. "So...You're....Brody the Brony?"

Brody laughed. "That's what they all call me! It's so nice to meet some more bronies! The only ones I've met were...."

"Online?" Freddie guessed.

"That's right! But now, I've got....REAL ones....It feels.....SO AWESOME!" He tried to imitate Rainbow Dash, but he fucked it up, because his voice didn't crack good enough. What a curly fried failure.

"Yeah, I'm sure it does. I've got to go, Brody. But, we should hang out later." In reality, Freddie wanted to get away from this kid as soon as possible. Sure, Freddie was weird, too....But he didn't exactly pull his pants down in front of two straight men....That just didn't seem to CLICK with his mind.

"Yeah! Of course!" Brody replied, putting out his fist towards Freddie.

"I don't bro-hoof those who have their pants down..." Freddie replied, quickly walking out of Mr. Hillman's office. He just hoped Janelle, his secretary came him with not only his, but some random kid's pants down. That would NOT look good on his resume....

"Awww....." Brody said, disappointed a bit. "He's no fun, is he, Mr. Hillman?"

"Brody...." Mr. Hillman finally talked. "....Our pants are down...."

"Yup!"

"And....You're okay with this?"

"Yup!"

Mr. Hillman sighed, and smiled. "So am I....."

Continuing with our ORIGINAL dialogue.....

"That's right, brudda." Freddie replied. "We'll have a meeting EVERY Friday until we graduate, and even THEN, we can always use the party room at Pizza Shack and have our meetings there."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Tye said in glee. "Pizza and ponies, there is NO better combination!"

"You are most likely right with that statement." Curtis agreed. "What do you all expect from tonight's two parter?"

"Crystals. Lots and LOTS of Crystals." Kyler said.

"Well, I won't be able to watch it, so don't anyone spoil it for me." Tye said.

"I'm hoping that Hasbro swerves us and has the G1, G2, and G3 ponies invade Equestria and kill all the current ponies. We shall call it...."Pony, Bloody Pony...""

"YOU'RE ACTUALLY HOPING FOR THAT?!!??!" Curtis shouted.

"My GOD, man! What is wrong with you?" Kyler asked, grabbing Freddie by his shoulders and shaking him rapidly.

"It WOULD be a great way to shake up the show..." Tye said, rubbing his chin with his index finger. "I like it!"

"Tye.....I was kidding...." Freddie said in a dead-pan voice.

"And I WASN'T." Tye replied. "Although, I'm pretty sure there will be NO blood in a Hasbro show."

"That sounds like nothing more than a horrible fan fiction idea...." Kyler said, shaking his head in disappointment. "Why the traumatizing thoughts, Freddie?"

"Tee-hee." Freddie giggled like a sassy school-girl who liked sarsaparilla. "Sorry, it's just my nature to freak people out."

"The entire internet would simultaneously EXPLODE if Hasbro actually went with that idea." Curtis pointed out.

"That's probably for the best..." Freddie replied, gaining worried stares from his three friends. "What? That fool made Justin Bieber famous!"

"Well, I share your anger on THAT, the Internet wasn't too bright for doing that...." Curtis said.

"You are talking as if the Internet is ONE man." Kyler said with a chuckle.

"HE IS!" Freddie replied with big eyes. "The Internet is the spawn of Bill Gates and the stupid side of Bill Gates's mind. One night, they both had some steamy secks, and 9 months later, Internet Gates was conceived. Little baby Inty was MUCH different, though.....For one, he had NO organs....He was just this endless supply of space and data, ready to be used for nothing but evil. Thus, Bill Gates, and the stupid side of Bill Gates's mind came together.....To form......." Freddie's left eye than began twitching. "DAAAATTAAAA......GAAAATTEEESSSSS.......Humanoids as we know it, will soon.....CEASE! TO EXIST!"

"That story was so epic, it ALMOST made me think it was real...." Kyler said. "Buuuttt....Since it didn't...." Kyler, Curtis, and Tye then proceeded to laugh hysterically at Freddie's story, and more-so, Freddie himself.

Freddie scowled, he waited many minutes. But alas, the three would NOT SHUT UP. So, he decided, to do the ONLY logical thing he could do.....

HE STOMPED OFF ANGRILY AND LEFT THE THREE GAYS TO BE GAY WITHOUT REGRET.

Many minutes after a long, menacing walk cuz St. Clair wasted all their money on PCP.....

Back inside the school, while Tye, Curtis and Kyler were probably still laughing their asses off, Freddie spotted Austin Ross out of the corner of his eye. He immediately perked up, and ran over to him.

"Hey there, fool." Austin said in his squeaky voice. "What's up?" Ever since Freddie had met Austin in 6th grade, the first thing he noticed, was that damn voice of his. It wasn't exactly "Nails on Chalk-board" bad. It was more like, "Nails on Penis bad." But Freddie had no room to judge, as Freddie had a slight lisp, only with the word "Three." He couldn't tell the difference between Three, and Free. It just wasn't. Gonna. Happen. EVER.

"I just told three of my asshole friends a RIVETING story, and the mudda fuckas LAUGHED at me for it!"

Austin laughed himself. "Was it the one about how the Internet was made?"

Freddie turned his head, and mumbled, "Yes...."

"That one's not too bad. It almost sounded.....Legit."

"I'm not going to let them get to me!" Freddie said, sticking his chin up high confidently. "They're just jealous because they can't excite ANYONE with a dramatic story. Besides, tonight.....Season....Three....COMMENCES!"

"No reason to be mad with ponies." Austin replied with a smile.

"No sirree Bob Snob there isn't!"

Now, since it's pretty telling these two ass-bags will be our Main Characters, I'm guessing you all want to know what they look like....So you can fap to their images in yo BRAIN. Well, DON'T. That's fuggin' sick and not appreciated. Still, I'll throw you dogs a bone.

Austin was six-teen, like Freddie. He had curly blonde hair. It was almost like a dirty blonde. He was skinnier than Freddie, but not taller, in fact, Freddie has him beat by an inch. And, as said, he is half human, half mouse. Happy?

And Freddie, has brown hair. The style he wears his hair in, differs non-stop. He goes from buzz-cut, to mop-hair to occasional mullet, to the Faux-hawk. Too bad his mom wasn't too thrilled with the 'Hawk, unlike Freddie. Freddie wasn't skinny, but he wasn't fat, either. He was the latter, and was pretty athletic. He wasn't on any teams, but he could run fast. His asthma prevented him from running so fast for too long, though, but shit happens in life.

All of a sudden, just when Freddie was excited again.....HE....Had to show up.

"What up, gays?" Said Ashton Wall, as he approached the two best friends when they DIDN'T WANT TO BE APPROACHED!!!!!!

Freddie immediately groaned. "Go fap to Smosh, freckle-face....."

Freddie called him freckle-face, because that's what he was. Ashton had LOTS of freckles, was very lanky, or skinny, or slender, OR WHATEVER YA WANNA CALL IT. He had curly, brown hair, and was a devoted supporter of Smosh.....And by devoted, I mean he jerks off to their videos because he finds their face DELIGHTFUL. I'm not even kidding.

"Go fap to your gay-ass ponies, gay-ass fauxhawk." Ashton replied, thinking he had just hurt Freddie's feelings or something.

....He didn't......

"Ashton, you've only seen ONE episode." Austin replied. "And that ONE episode had nothing GAY-ASS in it."

"Yeah, it did." Ashton replied. "Fucking whore-ass ponies and shit."

Freddie and Austin both face-palmed.

"Stop delaying the inevitable, douche." Freddie said. "And go to our Brony meeting today. You can learn what a Brony is REALLY about, and stop passing your judgement that nobody cares about."

"Yeah know what? Fine." Ashton said. "I'll go to your little gay-ass meeting and mingle with you little gay-ass freaks. It's in the Auditorium, right?"

Austin and Freddie nodded. "Right in it." Austin added.

"We'll be there in a couple minutes." Freddie said. "Tell them that, and also, tell them you wish to know....The way...Of the Brony...."

"I'd rather know the way of the dragon, so I can kung-fu chop your bitch-ass necks off your gay-ass bodies!" Austin replied. "See ya there." He then walked off towards the auditorium.

"What a broken record." Austin said as he and Freddie began to journey to the steps, which would lead them to their lockers.

Freddie chuckled. "I know. It's all "SMOSH, SMOSH, SMOSH, SMOSH, NIGAHIGA, GAY-ASS, GAY-ASS, ZOTR1X, ZOTR1X, GAY-ASS, I'VE GOT A CELL-PHONE GIRLFRIEND, SMOSH, SMOSH, SMOSH, MRS. LAMPKIN IS ONLY DECENT LOOKING, I FUCK MAH MOMMA WIT' A WET NOODLE!"" Freddie mocked the same words Ashton repeated over and OVER during each school day. It was REALLY starting to get bothersome. "I mean....MRS. LAMPKIN? DECENT LOOKING?! IS HE FUCKING BLIND?!?!?"

"Stupid AND blind, apparently." Austin added, causing Freddie to laugh.

Speaking of which, many seconds later, just as they passed Mrs. Lampkin's room, Freddie waved, as he always did, and Mrs. Lampkin waved back, telling them to "Hold on."

"Oh, I'll hold on ANY day for you, baby...." Freddie thought, chuckling evilly. Mrs. Lampkin was Freddie and Austin's fourth hour Health teacher. Of course, sex is a course in Health, and when you have someone SEXy teaching SEX, it makes it that much better.

Mrs. Lampkin was 24, and it showed. She was the coach of the girls' Basketball team, as you could tell, because her work duds was ALWAYS the team uniform/track jumpsuit combo that Freddie loved. It also helped that she had perfectly good sized breasts, and a great ass to round out the outfit. She had black hair, which she wore in many styles. In pigtails, straight, straight n' curly, in a bun, whatever it was, it didn't matter, she could make a 70's Disco Afro look FINE. Freddie also had her in eighth grade, when her name was Ms. England and she wasn't married. He STILL wished she was married, so he would have a chance. It was a possibility. By the time Freddie would be out of High School, she would only be TWENTY SIX!

"Hi, Mrs. Lampkin." Austin said as she walked to the door.

"Hey there, Lamppost." Freddie said with a smirk. That was his nickname for her. The basketball team called her "Lampshade", but that was fucking stupid. Freddie was better with nicknames than those sweaty bitches, they just need to dribble those balls and quit worrying about simple crap. It wouldn't get them anywhere.

"Hi there, boys!" Mrs. Lampkin said, with more pep in her voice than usual. Not that she was always crabby, she NEVER was, but she just seemed....Happier than she normally was.

"What do you need?" Freddie asked, hoping it was sex. He REALLY hoped it was sex. He didn't even care if Austin was involved, it was sex. And like Freddie had said before when he was alone in his room...."SECKS IS SECKS. DON'T BE A PICKEH FOO'."

"I'd like to talk to you both about your scores on that Human Body test you took yesterday." Freddie and Austin both gulped. They HOPED they didn't flunk the damn thing, the whole unit was easy. Neither of them studied, (Neither of them ever did) and they tried their absolute BEST. Which was a LOT, cuz, ya know....IT'S THE BEST!

Mrs. Lampkin gestured for both of them to come inside the classroom, which they both obliged, cuz when a hot teacher asks that of you....YOU COMPLY. She then locked the door.

"Awww SHEEETTT..." Freddie thought. "This is getting SERIOUS...."

"Have a seat, you two." Again, Freddie and Austin did as they were told. They sat right in front of her desk.

Mrs. Lampkin sat down at her own desk, and cleared her throat. "I'd just like to let you BOTH know, you did NOT fail." Freddie and Austin sighed in relief. "In fact, you both passed with FLYING colors!"

"How high where them colors flyin', teech?" Freddie asked.

Mrs. Lampkin giggled. "Pretty high, Fred. You both...Scored 100%!"

Freddie LITERALLY, fell out of the desk. He couldn't REMEMBER the last time he got a 100 on a test! He got them pretty frequently on worksheets, but a TEST?! That was a Rarity in of itself. Austin didn't really seem surprised, just happy that he didn't bomb the test.

"What about the bonus points?" Austin asked.

"You didn't get them right." Mrs. Lampkin said simply.

"WHAT?!" Freddie yelled, jumping up from the floor. "You mean to tell me, that the World's largest Rocking Chair is NOT in my Backyard?!"

"Sorry, but it's in Cuba, Fred." Mrs. Lampkin replied.

"Missouri?" Freddie asked, Mrs. Lampkin nodded. "That's ABSURD! I'm pretty sure I KNOW what's in my OWN backyard, Lamppost!"

Mrs. Lampkin giggled. "Well, obviously you don't, or else you would of gotten it RIGHT." She said with a troll face.

"Urgh!" Freddie thought. "Hot fucking troll....You can live under my "Bridge" any day!"

"Still, though, that's really good." Austin pointed out.

"Of course it is!" Mrs. Lampkin agreed. "You guys even beat Sarah, one of the smartest girls in the school!"

Freddie smirked. "Haha, Sarah!" He thought. "Ya fucking fool!"

Mrs. Lampkin showed the boys their tests, as PROOF of their awesomeness. And yes, it WAS pure awesomeness! Freddie raveled in the sight of the 100%. Surely, a reward was in store for him soon enough.

"Good job, man!" Freddie congratulated Austin, high fiving him.

"You, too." Austin said, as the two gave Mrs. Lampkin their tests back.

Mrs. Lampkin lay the tests on her desk again, and smile so wide at them, showing off her PERFECT teeth.

"I'm so proud of you two! But....I have to ask you something...."

"What is it?" The two asked at the same time.

"Your knowledge of sex is just....Phenomenal! Even on the Essay questions, you BOTH used more than one sheet of paper. Let me read you some of your examples....Freddie, you put: "While 75 percent of men always reach orgasm during sex, only 29 percent of women report the same. In addition, most women are unable to climax through vaginal intercourse, instead needing clitoral stimulation." Austin, you put: "The average male loses his virginity at age 16.9; females average slightly older, at 17.4. And a new study shows that genetics may be a factor: inherited traits, such as impulsivity, can make a person more or less willing to have sex at an earlier age." I didn't even ask for any of that, yet, you gave it to me!"

"You're mad at us for being show-offs....Aren't you?" Freddie asked, frowning.

"Show-offs?" Mrs. Lampkin repeated. She then laughed. "Oh, Fred, no I'm not mad at you! Your answers did not hint "show-off" in any way, I ASSURE you. I'm happy that you both know these types of facts, especially when they're TRUE! And that's only a LITTLE bit of what you wrote! Where did you two learn these facts at? Because I NEVER said any of what's in this essay!"

"We just got it from the internet, and remembered it." Austin answered, Freddie nodding.

"Sex is just....So interesting, I wanted to know as much as I could about it." Freddie added. "Health class only taught me so much!"

"Well, that's great!" Mrs. Lampkin said. "Although, I'm sorry you two didn't get to learn enough about the workings of the human body in class. But....PERHAPS....I can teach you...In a DIFFERENT way...."

"What do you mean?" Freddie asked, as the gears in his head started turning. There was NO way she was referring to what he THOUGHT she was referring to.

"Well....Your knowledge of sex makes me wonder..." Mrs. Lampkin said. "Have either of you two ever actually HAD sex?"

Austin and Freddie IMMEDIATELY shared nervous glances. NOTHING about this unit made them feel awkward or uncomfortable, until this ONE question came along.....NOW, they TRULY, felt awkward and uncomfortable....

"No...No, we haven't." Freddie answered.

"Never." Austin added.

Mrs. Lampkin giggled. "Good boys! Abstinence is a VERY good thing to practice! But, you wouldn't be against going to an Eighth hour today...." Mrs. Lampkin then began to unzip her jacket. "Would you...?"

Austin's eyes bulged, and Freddie's dick did the same.

"Y-you.....Mrs. Lampkin....." Austin struggled to even make WORDS after what he had just heard. He KNEW there were teachers in the world like this....But he NEVER thought he would have met one in HIS lifetime..... "W-we're....Only....Si-sixteen...."

"Yes, and I am twenty four. It's an 8 year difference, sweetie." She pointed out with a smirk. "I just HATE it when my students aren't satisfied with the curriculum..." She pouted. "But, don't worry, I'm here to help....That's what teachers who actually CARE about their students do...."

"Seems as though, you're caring a bit TOO much...." Freddie replied, as his dick now had a mind of it's own, and was squeezing against his pants so hard, it actually hurt.

"Nonsense...." She replied. "I will NEVER stop caring about my students....And I will NEVER say no when they are so desperate to LEARN! Learning is good, guys!" Mrs. Lampkin's blue bra was now exposed. "So COME ON! Let's learn!" She sounded so enthusiastic about this...It was creeping Freddie and Austin the fuck out.

"O-oh....We'd l-love to...." Austin said with a sarcastic grin. "It's j-just....It's the weekend, and...."

"I understand, Austin." Mrs. Lampkin replied, putting her jacket on and beginning to zip it back up. "You've just learned TOO much this week. 5 school days, 7 hours in each. It's just TOO much for your blooming minds to handle. But don't you worry! I'm ALWAYS willing to help your bodies "bloom"..." Mrs. Lampkin giggled.

"Unless of course, you're ready right now, Freddie? Austin, you can leave if you want, while me and Freddie-"

"NO!!!!!!" Freddie screamed bloody murder, he then quickly caught his composure, and nervously laughed. "I mean, uhhh-No...Thank you, Lamppost....Yeah, I burned out, I couldn't POSSIBLY handle another class.....I'm ready to go home, and recharge my batteries...Y-you, understand....Right?"

"Of course, you beautiful souls!" She replied with that same big grin as before. "But, whenever EITHER of you, or both at the same time, I don't care, want to "plug" Mrs. Lampkin's lamp in, and help her light RADIATE throughout the room...You just come see me! Okay?"

"Y-yes, Mrs. Lampkin...." The two beyond confused boys muttered simultaneously.

"You're both so sweet...." Mrs. Lampkin then gave both Austin and Freddie a kiss on the fore-head, like a Teaser, and unlocked the door for them. "Have a great weekend, you two! I look forward to seeing your beautiful minds back at work on Monday!"

Neither of them said goodbye, or either waved, they just continued to try to get over the mind-fuck they had just experienced.

"What....Just.....Happened?" Austin asked, still blasting off into space at the moment.

"I have no ide-" Freddie stopped, when he saw something catch his interest out of the corner of his eye. "We'll talk about this later, dude. Right now, you go get your stuff, I'll meet you by your locker."

"What's the rush?" Austin then noticed Freddie was staring at the beautiful girl known as Morgan Manning from across the hall. "Oooohhh....I see." He then smiled. "Okay, Romeo. I'll see you in a minute."

Freddie wasted no time in walking up to Morgan, the girl of his dreams, who didn't look like she was in the best mood. Yes, Freddie thought Mrs. Lampkin was hot, also now with a side of bat-shit nuts. But Morgan? She was beautiful.....PURE, and most importantly, NOT bat-shit nuts.

"What's with the long face, Morgan?" Freddie began to console, leaning against her locker.

Morgan now seemed to perk up once she saw Freddie. "Oh. Hi, Freddie. I'm just a little sour because Alex broke up with me...."

Freddie then gasped louder than he ever had in his LIFE, as he was sincerely SHOCKED.

"Alex Miller broke up with you?! Why the hell would he do that?!"

"He's just a jealous jock!" Morgan explained, Freddie immediately nodded in agreement, and he didn't even know the situation. "He kept getting mad at us talking with each other. What am I supposed to do? That's what you do with FRIENDS! You talk to them!"

"Wait..." Freddie interrupted her. He frowned. "This is all MY fault?"

"Don't think like that, Freddie! It's HIS fault for not letting me do what I want. I was on a leash the WHOLE time I was with him. I couldn't do ANYTHING I wanted to do. It was always about what ALEX wanted. I was JUST about to break up with him, but it looks like he saved me the trouble....."

"Damn, Morgan, I'm sorry...." Freddie sincerely apologized.

"Don't be. I'm happier than I've been in MONTHS! And I've got the PERFECT way to get back at him...." She said with a chuckle.

"What is it?" Freddie asked.

"Well, I was just wondering....If you wanted to go to Skaterz with me tomorrow?" Right then, right there, Freddie's heart skipped THREE beats. While that would kill any NORMAL man, Freddie was too excited to die. His eyes glazed over, and he could tell he was about to pass out, but he COULDN'T pass this opportunity up! He WILLED himself to stay conscious! And he did so, long enough to ask, "What? Why me?"

"He HATES you." Morgan explained. "Always calling you a loser, it makes me SO mad! You're funny, and smart, and caring. You're SO random, but that's what makes you so hilarious! HE'S the loser! I want to SHOW him how big of a loser he is, when he sees me at Skaterz, having fun....With YOU."

Freddie chuckled. "I actually, like that plan, A LOT."

"Me too..." Morgan agreed. "So, it's a date?"

"It IS in fact, a date, Morgs'! Since you live a BLOCK next to me, I'LL pick YOU up. But, since I don't even have my permit yet..."

Morgan giggled. "Of course, have the LADY drive." Freddie's jaw dropped. "Gotcha!" She then laughed. Oh, Morgan....Always the kidd-FUCKING BITCH NUGGET! "You can come by at 7 o' clock. Okay?"

Freddie was too love-struck to speak words, so he just settled for "Uggggheeehhh................"

"I'll take that, as a yes." Morgan then leaned in, and kissed Freddie on the cheek. Freddie's heart, literally did a 360 no scope spin, and killed the AIDS particles he had gotten when he was in Mrs. Lampkin's room a few moments ago. Beast heart, for sure.

Freddie just screamed like a pre-teen girl fingering herself to the Justin Bieber cardboard cut-out she had just laid eyes on at the Mall, and ran down the stairs as fast as he could.

"Good job, Freddie." Austin congratulated. "I saw the whole thing unfol-WHAT THE?!" Austin was interrupted by Freddie picking him up with all of his strength. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Freddie did not answer, he just kept replying with "EEEHHHEEGGGOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF." He ran to his locker, and grabbed his jacket and lunchbox, with his own teeth, while Austin had his own jacket while he dangled vicariously on Freddie's shoulder.

"Are we going home? What about the meeting?!" Austin asked, but to no avail. No one seemed to be home.

"NOTIMEGOTTAJERKOFFNOWZ." Freddie said as he rammed his head into the Exit door of the school, it popping open in response, and began to yell all the way to his mother's car. He got honked at by all the buses for almost killing all of them due to him running right in front of them when he should've stopped, but Freddie didn't care. He had NEVER been on a date with a girl before....And he couldn't have asked for a better girl to be on a date WITH.

Back inside the school, UNFORTUNATELY, Mrs. Lampkin heard the whole thing....And she was NOT pleased.....

She dialed a number on her cell-phone, and waited for her husband to pick up. When he did, she remained chipper, as usual.

"Hi, honey! ... Yeah, ya know, had a long day ... I just wanted to let you know, I may be home a FEW minutes later then usual ... Traffic is worse than usual ... Yeah, of course! ... Love you, see you soon!" She then hang up the phone, and spat out her mint gum.

So went outside her classroom, RIGHT when Morgan was about to leave.

"Morgan. Could you come here for a minute, please?"

"Ummm...Yeah. Of course, Mrs. Lampkin!"

Morgan went inside the classroom, but quickly realized she SHOULDN'T have, when Mrs. Lampkin pushed her against the Promethean board.

"Mrs. Lampkin!" Morgan yelled in a panic. "What are you doing?!"

"You're a bright student, Morgan....." Mrs. Lampkin complimented.

"T-...THANK YOU?!" Morgan didn't know whether to take it as a compliment, or be VERY worried for her health.

"Show me you are INDEED bright, by staying away from Freddie Hediger...."

"Wait....WHAT!?!?!?"

"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR WHORE SELF AWAY FROM HIM!" Mrs. Lampkin yelled. "YOU'LL JUST CRUSH HIS HEART, AND HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT! Just stay. Away. From him! Jezebels and Angels, don't mix well together!"

"I'm not a Jezebel! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?!?" Morgan tried to get away, but Mrs. Lampkin was so fit, it was too hard.

"DO I LOOK CRAZY TO YOU?!?!?!?" Mrs. Lampkin angrily asked, nose to nose with Morgan now.

"YES!" Was all Morgan could say.

Mrs. Lampkin then paused, and let go of Morgan. She smiled. "Good job, Morgan.....I AM crazy....Crazy, in love....MY heart belongs to the boy you are after....And TRUST me, he wants MINE....More than yours. So like I said, just stay away from him....Got it?"

"Fine, fine!"

"And I HOPE you don't tell anyone about this...." Mrs. Lampkin warned.

"I won't....I doubt anyone believe me anyway.....It's not every day a teenage girl gets Man-handled by some PSYCHO FREAK!"

Mrs Lampkin then cackled. "THAT'S RIGHT, MORGAN! NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAAAA!! NO ONNNNNEEEEE!!!!!!"

Morgan quietly left the room, while Mrs. Lampkin continued to cackle like a sexy witch.

Mrs. Lampkin triumphantly put her hands to her hips, and went over to her laptop. She went to Facebook, proceeded to type in "Aust" and the first result she saw, pleased her immensely.

"Ohoho, Austin...." She said, biting her lip as she analyzed Austin in his green coat. "I apologize about what I said earlier....Not ONLY does my heart belong to Freddie, but you, as well.....When it comes to my TWO favorite students in the WHOLE world, neither one of you is more important than the other. And NO ONE, especially some ditzy WHORE, will stand in the way of making sure that I, Mrs. Markie Lampkin, teach you when you are in such DESPERATE need of teaching...."

Mrs. Lampkin then clicked on "Message", and began to let Austin know EXACTLY what she was thinking.

"I'll be waiting.....;)"

Sent.

--------TO BE CONTINUED----------