Sometimes a pear will do

Mike flopped bonelessly onto his bed. He took a moment to relish in the fact that this was his bed and that here in his room, behind a nice sturdy lock, he was perfectly and completely safe.

He knew it hadn't been a dream

He was wearing an ensemble. A carefully designed set of cloths that was specifically made to look good together. The shirt had Rarity's fashion label on it. The button in the pants had a sapphire that was worth more than his car in it. Not that his car fared well in price comparison to normal pants buttons.

Also he positively reeked of horse sex and had a hoof shaped bruise on his sternum

He closed his eyes and napped for a few hours.

When he woke up he grabbed his copy of the easy to use four page pamphlet How to get to Equestria and threw it in the trash. The fact that the guide called for a specific time of year that just happened to be the start of mating season in Equestria...

Then he made a cup of coffee and brushed his teeth.

Then he retrieved the pamphlet from the trash. He was going to need it for next year. When he did it all over again. And he had to. He had no choice.

He hadn't gotten to meet Rainbow Dash yet.