I. Retreat & Recovery
Long shadows, like fingers, stretched out from everything the blazing sun looked upon as it set down under the horizon. The hour grew late and the precession of the three figures along the lonely dirt road to the farm was more like a death march. The largest, a stallion of red, hung his head low and eyes closed. His normally detached calm expression was twisted into one of great sorrow, reduced to a blubbering mess. Ever since he had heard the news of her passing, he wouldn't stop weeping. Now there were no more tears to shed; he had run dry yet the pain of loss was still there in his chest. A hollow feeling that he had convinced himself would never go away.
Next to him was a light peach coated mare that matched his slow pace. Her head was down and her hands together at her front staring blankly at the ground ahead. Usually Applejack would be the first to react or show emotion but she was like a statue; face utterly blank save her eyes under her antique Stetson. They seemed to see right into the core of the world. Unlike her elder brother, she had not been shaking nor has she shed a single tear throughout the entire week since the news burned through her heart like a bullet. It was the moment when she had to experience loss for a third time.
Between the two was the youngest of the trio. Her hair down over her shoulders without her large bow, Applebloom took the news of Granny Smith's passing the hardest. She would never forgive herself; but for what, she knew not what. Like her brother, she hadn't stopped crying the entire week, but unlike him, she had shown her emotions through the raw, untamed nature of a teen. Applebloom was convinced that all of the village could hear her when she started to wail. She didn't understand death like her siblings did; she was too young to understand. The grief came to her when she caught a glimpse of her grandmother laying peacefully in her bed, never to wake up.
Applejack moved forward ahead of her kin and opened the gate to Sweet Apple Acres. Her movement was like a robot's; not an expression on her face save the one she had since Granny's passing. She stayed at the gate, watching from under her hat brim the boots of her brother and little shoes of her sister’s. Despite wearing mostly black or dark blue, Applebloom's shoes were a stark white in contrast to her funeral attire. It gave Applejack a little happiness as she noticed the little design on it. Three balloons, two baby blue and a bright yellow. A little smile cracked on her lips. 'Pinkie...' she thought fondly of the mare who, until Twilight brought them together, she had only seen in her bakeshop and thought a little loopy. Now the pink coated mare was the only thing that kept the Sweet Apple family in good spirits.
Latching the shoulder high gate closed, she and her family returned to the modest little farm house they once called home. Now a pall hung over the property. Colors seemed faded and even the heat of Celestia's sun brought no warmth on them. Each pony, single file, made their way up onto the wooden porch. While Applebloom and Big Macintosh made their way into the house, Applejack stopped at the threshold. Turning her head slowly, something sparked a memory that commanded her to turn. On the hanging swing, she faintly saw days gone by. Laughing, she saw her mother watching a much younger AJ thrust her little fists up over her head in another victory over her brother at checkers, both sitting on the porch. Big Mac smiled and set up another game as their father came up the steps with Applebloom in his arms, just a filly of barely one years old and wearing a small stetson hat upon her head. Her father's final birthday gift to her.
This memory played out for Applejack for decades, watching the golden time of her family as if nothing was wrong with the world. She was not a bearer of honesty, or honor as Twilight put it, but a simple hick that wanted nothing more than to laugh and work and be happy. Yet it was all taken from her much too early. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and did what she always had to do to pry herself away from such foolish little flashbacks; she closed her eyes and dipped her hat. Opening the steel screen door, she saw her brother at the kitchen table with her sister nowhere to be found. Concerned, she questioned her brother “Where...”
“Her room.” Mac replied “Ah think it's best that she just cry it out.”
At least he had some emotion back in his voice “Ah'm sorry ah couldn't be much help with 'er. Ah know she's taken' it hard.”
“Just like you?” Applejack rounded the table and to the fridge, taking out a bottle of no doubt expired whiskey. Big Mac watched in silence as his sister opened the forty ounces of liquor and started to guzzle it back. He quickly extended his hand out and gently lowered the bottle, convinced that his sister would have finished it all if he hadn't intervened. Applejack looked annoyed but never once broke eye contact with the bottle “Ah know yur just tryin' ta help, Big Mac...just...lemme have this then Ah won't touch another drop.” For a few moments he still held on. Reluctantly, Big Mac let his sister do what she wanted. It pained him to see AJ harm herself but being a teetotaler, he fought another urge to stop her.
Within a minute, the frosty amber liquid was drained from the bottle and Applejack finally took a breath. Her face winced at the fire water's passing into her stomach, making her feel sick but it was a feeling she wanted. It helped her feel something at least. The hollowness and burden of grief was drowned in the old malt liquor, feeling its warmth overtake her. With a heavy sigh, she reclined back in her chair and placed her worn boots up on the table, holding the empty bottle like a child at her chest. She stared off into nothing, slowly panning her vision as her eyes met the oven; convinced that Granny was about to run in at any moment and curse herself for not paying attention to her baking.
It brought a smile to her face that she could still hear the ringing of the elderly mare's shouts as she quickly hobbled to the kitchen, opening the oven and grabbing a dish towel to yank whatever she had overcooked out of the glowing maw of the stove. A sudden loud bang came from upstairs, bringing Applejack's illusions of a happy yesteryear to an abrupt end. Big Mac got up from his chair and quickly stomped up the stairs. No doubt Applebloom had thrown something, in a rage with the conflict of anger and sorrow.
The booze started to hit AJ hard, making her feel a little dizzy. Feeling a bit warm, she took her father's hat off. She held it in front of her and surveyed it. It looked no more the worst for wear despite being nearly half a century old. In her gathering stupor, her thoughts became more lucid and surreal. She saw her father's hand reach down and pluck his hat up, placing it on AJ's head. Her head panned up and over, seeing her father's smiling face. The words he spoke were meaningless to her now, all that she heard was what she needed to hear “Ah love you, mah lil' apple.” Applejack sharply exhaled and shut her eyes tight. A whimper was caught in her throat as she tried to hold back the tears. She didn't know why, but those words brought out a flood of emotions that were absent in her Granny's passing.
She opened her eyes and felt her first tear roll down her cheek, dripping down onto her plaid shirt. She allowed herself more sorrow to flow from her eyes, drowning herself in depression and sadness finally. The wall of her resolute and stubborn nature had crumbled and she didn't care who saw her cry or heard her weep. Closing her eyes again, she thought of her parents. She saw her mother and father standing over her in the black void of thought. Both Clementine and Baldwin looked so happy hand in arm, seeing their little AJ as she grew to be something more than they had ever thought possible. Another heavy sigh escaped Applejack's lips as her eyes opened, seeing the twilight outside of her door. The kitchen was getting dark and her stomach finally rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten all day or most of this week, for that matter.
Slightly angered with her moment of weakness, she felt that food was the best thing for her right now. Before anything though, she needed to see where she was going. It was nearly pitch black in the kitchen when AJ opened her eyes. Slowly getting up from her seat, she carefully moved to the button switch on the wall behind her, one hand out in front. She turned and stumbled over to the old brass faceplate, still gleaming despite the sun having ducked under the horizon a few moments prior. With a dull click, the lights came on and AJ was left blinded. She blinked, trying to get her eyes accustomed to the artificial suns above the table.
Not waiting, she rubbed her eyes and made her way over to the stove. Placing the bottle down on the range, she opened the cupboard and crouched. Inside was a wall of cans, neatly organized by their contents. Beans, soups, peas, carrots and pineapples. Applejack just smirked, thinking 'Big Mac, ya got some strange tastes.' Not in the least fussy, she grabbed a can of baked beans. Standing back up right, she reached over the stove and opened the cupboard, grabbing a sauce pan. Placing both on the stove, she tried to find the can opener. It wasn't in its usual drawer. 'Now where the hay did that get to?' AJ squinted, opening drawers all along the kitchen but failing to see it. With a frustrated, and spiteful sigh, she slammed the last of the drawers off its rollers; forgetting her own strength.
“Applejack?” Big Mac poked his head out from behind the door frame, brows raised “What's wrong?” AJ took a deep, long breath to calm herself. It seemed silly but it was just one more thing that life happened to throw at her just to lose her otherwise easy going demeanor. In answer to her brother, she shook her head, letting that pent up anger go with her exhale.
With a little smirk, she turned and leaned on the counter “Ah can't find the damn can opener.” She shook her head at how silly it sounded. Both she and her brother had smiles growing on their faces.
Big Mac finally came in, giving his sister a comforting hug “Neither could I.” he chuckled, letting go of his sis “Last pony I saw had it was Applebloom. No use askin' her now, though. Sleepin' like a foal.”
Mac glanced and saw the bottle of alcohol, bottomed out and on the range. He understood perfectly why AJ would poison herself. It felt good to hurt once in awhile. Ignoring it, he lazily walked towards the fridge “We got eggs if you wanna have 'em. No can opener required.”
Applejack gave a little laugh “With your muscles? Ah reckon' you'd smash the pan and the egg.” she teased. Mac sheepishly blushed, getting the eggs out anyway. “I might but I can't let you go to bed hungry now.”
“Nah. It's alright. Ah'm to tired to eat now anyway.”
“You sure? I'll put a lil' cheese on 'em.”
“Ah'm sure. Just clea...well ya know.”
“Eeyup.” Mac nodded, cracking an egg in the saucepan as his sister took her hat and left. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened; Mac being back to his usual, easy going self and AJ still trying to be the mother of the household. She made her way into the living room and tried not to make eye contact with the rocking chair by the window overlooking the orchard. It was compelling but the more she resisted, the more her side seemed to heat up. Picking her pace up, she sprinted up the staircase and gave a little puff of relief as she landed at the top. Slowing down and lightly stepping, she made her way down the hall to her bedroom, pausing at Applebloom's closed door. Thinking it over for a moment or two, she carefully turned the knob and pushed it open. The heavy wooden door creaked on its hinges as the dim moonlight escaped the darkened room and into the hallway. There, leaning against the open window was a very glum sister.
Applejack didn't hesitate, “Sis?” Applebloom didn't even flinch, lost in her thoughts “What y'all doin' outta bed?” Again, nothing. Hesitantly she asked “Can Ah at least come in?”
Only then did Applebloom turn her head slightly “Yeah. Ah guess...”
Closing the door behind her, AJ walked in and sat on the bed facing her little sister “Now what's on yer mind, youngin'?” she asked; as if she didn't know.
Applebloom sniffled a little and kept on looking at the night sky, watching the sparkling stars “Ah'm trying ta count if there's an extra star up there for Granny.”
The statement hit Applejack like a buck to the chest, bringing back all of her emotions from earlier. She tried her damnedest to show some strength for her sister, biting her lip and hoping that the pain would push the sadness away. With a deep breath she got up and went to her sisters side, leaning against the frame “Oh Ah reckon' she's up there. Smilin' down at us.”she affirmed.
Applebloom finally started to break down, sniffling the tears back “Then why can't ah see one?”
AJ had no answers and, although it hurt her to lie, it might be the best thing now. She flung her arms into a hug and answered as best she could “There's a lotta starts up there, sugar cube. Might be that Granny is havin' a good ol' time with the rest of them souls.”
Applebloom stopped sniffling “Is that what really happens? You have a party?” Her sister nodded
“Ah'm sure of it. Ah'm sure that Luna and Celestia help 'em on their way to the fields of Elysia.”
“Is that like heaven?”
“Kinda. The way Ma and Pa told it, Elysia was the Ma of Luna and Celestia.”
“So she's like heaven's Princess?”
“Nope. She's Queen; helpin' souls on their way. Makin' 'em happy.”
“So Granny's happy now?” Applebloom sounded hopeful.
“Damn tootin' she is.” That affirmation helped AJ feel a little bit better about herself. She wasn't one to believe in something like that but it gave her a comfort that she needed right now. Looking at her sis, she embraced it regardless if it was a lie or not.
“Thanks sis.” the little filly said, turning to hug her sister's middle tight.
Chuckling, Applejack hugged her sister firmly “Now you git to bed, Applebloom. It's late for us Apples.”
Applebloom let go and looked up at her sister with a smile “Okay sis.” With that, the little Sweetapple jumped up onto her bed and tore the sheets back, quickly tossing them over herself. AJ chuckled at her sister's burst of energy, as if she was done mourning. In a way, the little story of the afterlife gave Applejack comfort, too.
Tucking her youngest kin under the covers, AJ gave a peck on her forehead “You sleep well Applebloom.”
Her sister watched as Applejack walked around her bed. Before she reached the door, the youngest Sweet Apple called out “Love ya sis.” AJ paused and looked behind her shoulder, smiling wide “Love ya too sugar cube. Nothin's gonna change that.” That little reassurance seemed to be what Applebloom needed, snuggling under her covers and turning towards the window. AJ shut her door gently and backed away, impressed at how quickly her sister bounced back. With soft steps, she walked down the hall to her own room. With a little sigh, she opened the door and went in as the door clicked behind her. Once the lights had been turned on, she placed her father's Stetson on her bedpost. Tired and feeling herself recover a little, she sat down on her bed and smiled; hunched forward and leaning on her elbows on her knees.
The twenty-something mare allowed herself a rest. She deserved it after a week of trauma. Only now she started to come to terms with her granny dying. It stung but she knew from experience that it would fade in time. With a little smile, she tossed herself on her bed; not minding the mess of dirty blond hair that covered her face. AJ laid there, eyes closed and relaxing 'It's only natural.' she thought 'Ah guess Pinkie was right, it's just like eatin' a cupcake. It may be gone, but you still remember the taste. Never figured her for the brainy type.' she chuckled.
Her thoughts wandered, thinking back to the day she told her friends that her Granny had passed. All of her friends had taken the news quite hard when she went into town that day for final arrangements. Out of all of them, Fluttershy was the one who cried more than her. The normally shy mare bawled her eyes out on AJ's shoulder. Twilight was the only one who gave her farmer friend the support she needed, offering to giver her books on the subject but of course, Applejack refused. Rarity, being the embodiment of generosity, offered anything, even to pay for the burial in full. Pride made the offer hurt. Although she couldn't bear the thought of telling Pinkie Pie, she noticed the pink mare in the window; her hair fully deflated flat. Somehow, she knew. Rainbow Dash was the only one to be detached. Instead of sorrow, she showed what was expected; hugging Applejack and telling her it was going to be alright. It was a bit surprising.
It was only when Mac's heavy steps came down the hallway did it rouse herself from her thoughts. Reaching up to rub her eyes, AJ reluctantly rolled herself up to her feet. She gently took her duster and clothes off, tossing them on the bed, leaving her jeans on the floor where they fell. It was a more welcomed part of her day, going to her bathroom and running the shower to forget her troubles.
The warm water relaxed her body after the tense day she forced herself to endure. After her toiletries were done, she dried herself off and got her striped pajamas. Her wardrobe was mundane, just jeans, plaid shirts and a dozen socks at the bottom. The only things that were out of place were the two glittering, elegant dresses that hung among the flannel and denim. One was her Gala gown that Rarity had given her. It looked like it did the day she put it on for the first time. Only the leather was cracking. AJ rubbed her fingers along the tassels, feeling her other dress touching the back of her hand. This dress was her secret dress that only Rarity knew about. She still remembered the words she blurted out when Rarity, slack jawed, heard her request: 'Every mare want's to look pretty sometimes.'
It was only then did Rarity embrace her simple farm pony friend. It was their dirty little secret but Rarity swore no pony would know. Applejack only wore it once and that’s when she paid for it. It was the only day she allowed herself to feel vulnerable and when she saw herself in the wardrobe mirror, she felt pretty. Like a proper lady. She also remembered if she hadn't taken it off when she did, Big Mac would have seen her and she wouldn't have lived it down. The reminder of that close call made her chuckle to herself as she slipped her pajama pants on. When she bent down to slip her last leg in, it hit her like a blast of air: the worst case of dizziness she had ever felt.
Everything seemed to slow down to a crawl. She slowly stood up and supported herself on the wardrobe. For a few moments, it was like every feeling was drained out of her. No emotion nor the thought of calling out for help. What seeped into the back of AJ's head was something dark and brooding; almost evil. She had to close her eyes for a moment, fighting off what had gotten into her. Applejack didn't know how long she had stood there in the silence of her room but when she opened her eyes, she felt that her leg was stiff and going to pins and needles. Shaking her head and taking a deep breath made whatever had happened leave her at once. Slowly anxiety wrapped around her like a icy cold blanket. 'It's somethin' at least.' she thought.
She closed her ambry and locked it in case a certain sister and her wild friends got curious. She stopped to think what it was that clouded her mind. It could have been the alcohol. It may have been the stress of the week finally bursting out. Whatever it was, she tried to dismiss it from her mind. With another deep breath, she took in the cool air of her room, exhaling it slow and stiffed. “Now what'n tarnation was that...?” she muttered, rubbing her face in her palms. Shaking her head as her hands slipped off, she felt more tired now than she ever did.
She went over and turned the lights off, slipping under her covers with a little smile. The dizziness, whatever it was, was far from her memory. She knew what tomorrow would bring. She closed her eyes and laid her head on her pillow. She needed her rest.
Tomorrow she had a lunch date with the commander of the Wonderbolts.
II. Ardor
Applejack's eyes opened a crack, letting her vision clear in the predawn hours of the morning. The pale blue light of morning made the sky look like a murky ocean that the Sweetapple family has been familiar with since they first started farming the land. Today was not about the harvest nor was it about going to the barn and cleaning up. It was, for AJ, a time to have a shoulder and ear of a friend.
She made no bones about it. She and Rainbow Dash had been each other’s shadow ever since Dash moved to Ponyville years ago. AJ still fondly remembered the day that she met Dashie; it was a painful one. The young Pegasus slammed into Applejack from a dive and nearly broke her ribs. Dash fared far worse with a broken leg, arm and sprained wing. Dash, apparently, was trying out for the Wonderbolts even back then but she was nowhere near as good as she was now. Now her dreams had become a reality. Applejack still remembered how long they had to share a room for; even when she was mended AJ insisted on staying. They both would talk for hours until a much younger nurse Redheart evicted AJ out when visiting hours were over.
Still slightly enervated but finding comfort in the memory, AJ tossed the sheets back and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes with one hand, she turned her table lamp on with the other. When both hands went to rub her face, the most eerie and unnatural scrape was heard on the floor boards. What was worse, it sounded like it was coming from the end of the bed. AJ froze, spreading her fingers to allow a peek. Seeing nothing, she dismissed it as being Winona downstairs in the living room, wanting to go out for her morning run.
With a shake of her head, AJ got to her feet and stretched along the way to the bathroom. Once all of her toiletries were finished and she washed herself up, she changed into a fresh pair of jeans, shirt and socks on her way out of her room. Just about when she had her second boot on, she paused and inhaled. She hadn't noticed it before, but a strange smell started to seep from the kitchen. It was pleasant but vaguely familiar. Slowly, she went down the steps and into the living room. The odor, whatever it was, got stronger and was now accompanied by the noise of bubbling liquid.
It was only when she heard voices did she pause. She recognized the first one immediately as Applebloom's, “Ah told ya, stir! Them beans'll stick ta the bottom of th'pot and it'll be no good to no one.” The reply was a frustrated grunt and a rough stirring that clanged the deep pot's sides. She could barely make out what the other one was grumbling about before Applebloom spoke up again “Be gentle! Th' pot's steel, not some fancy unicorn metal. Yur gonna dent it.” Applebloom sounded more like her sister every day “Here. Lemme do it an' you can cut those there peppers up.” A sigh was the only response the stranger gave as the knife's edge started to tap the cutting board.
In the near dark of the living room, AJ sneaked up to the kitchen entry to see what was going on. There she saw her sister and one of the former Crusaders, Scootaloo. She had grown up to be more of a earth pony than Pegasus. It was devastating for her when she figured out her wings were to small for her too fly but with a little encouragement from Applejack and Dash, she managed to be more of an athlete then any flier in the sky. The best thing was that Scootaloo was the first one to get her cutie mark: A plain white lightning bolt pointing forward. Nothing less for the fastest runner in Ponyville. Scoot's mother would have been proud.
A quick tap on AJ's shoulder made her jump and yelp, giving away her hiding place. Both foals shot up and looked at the now blushing and wide eyed Applejack. Standing behind her in the dark was Macintosh, laughing a little “Mornin'.” AJ gave her brother a light backhand to the arm as he passed, chuckling as she too made her way in to sit down at the table; eying the concoction in the pot. “What'ya got cookin', Applebloom?”
Her sister smiled, proud of her creation “Veggies n' beans! Scoot's is choppin' the last of th' vegetables now. Ya just gotta wait for a lil' bit longer.” AJ and Big Mac looked at each other, doubting their sister's cooking skills. Applejack only reminded herself that nothing could be worse than Sweetie Belle's cooking. She never knew toast could liquefy.
“Yeah!” Scoots beamed, still cutting vegetables and quickly turning her head to AJ and Mac “The apple juice is in the fridge in glasses already for..OW!” Scoot recoiled from the counter and swiftly put her finger into her mouth; she had sliced it. Muffling a curse she stomped her foot in anger and pain.
Applebloom stopped her stirring and reached beside the stove for a paper towel “Here. Wrap it up. Ah'll get the gauze up stairs. Applejack?” she turned to her sister as she stepped away from the counter “Mind if you keep an' eye on...?”
Applejack interjected “You scoot up. I'll stir and cut.” she assured her sister, getting up and going over to the stove “As fer' you Scootaloo, you sit down so ya don't cut yurself no more. Git!”
Scootaloo didn't look too happy when she was told, yet she relented; dragging her feet to the table and sitting down.
Big Mac shot a smile at Scoot, sitting down across from her “We appreciate it though Scootaloo.”
AJ shot a smile over her shoulder while she stirred “'Course we do!” Scoot perked right up again knowing that her efforts were appreciated. AJ now focused on the vegetables when Applebloom came down with the first aid wrap and tape. Scootaloo nervously extended her hand out to her friend who quickly wrapped it right up without a sting to the wound.
Applebloom beamed pride, putting the rest of the gauze on the counter and getting the juice “Ah'm surprised that yur sister didn't teach ya how to seal a wound up. I thought with how much ya two practice...”
“Yeah, well, Dash isn't the most tender pony in town. Anyway, with her training with the Wonderbolts now, I'm surprised I even saw her the other day...”
Scoot looked despondent but Applebloom wasn't about to let her friend languish in depression “Oh c'mon, Scootaloo.” she sat down beside her “She's workin' hard up there. Just like when ya tried ta apply to th' Junior Equestria games. You were barely home.”
Applejack added something that might perk Scoot's spirits up “Speakin' of...Ah got a lunch with her today, so...”
“YES!” Scoot jumped up, eyes lit up like the sun and a smile that spread from ear to ear. It was only a second after when she felt all eyes on her did she back down “I mean,can I go with you? If that's okay.”
AJ laughed a little “Ah wouldn't mind Scoot. Ah'll even pay for ya.” Scoot's heart started beating a bit faster at the prospect of seeing her adopted sister for more than an hour today. She knew it was going be the best. The orange pegasus even reminded herself that training would be over in another week and she would see Dash for more than just lunch. When AJ tossed the vegetables in, she quickly stirred before going over and sitting down at the table for a refreshing sip of juice.
Scoot, however, noticed the still hanging cloud over the farm house and had to ask “How's everyone holding up?” her gravelly voice barely a whisper; eyes scanning the family. Mac smiled weakly while Applebloom remained emotionless, gazing to one side at the floor.
Only AJ had the bravery to speak up “We're still a might upset with it all but we Sweetapple's are tough. We...” she paused, looking for the right words “We know she'll be n'our hearts so don't ya worry none. It stings but it'll get a tad easier I reckon.”
Scootaloo was relieved to hear that. Her smile returned and so did some color to her face. She was terrified that someone might break down or simply yell at her. Just like Dash did the first few months she was living with her. Much to her alleviation, Applejack, like the rest of her family, were faring much better than expected. The happy silence was broken by a loud pop from the stove and the splattering of beans and sauce around the stove. Applejack sprung up to her feet and ran over “Oh dang it!” she growled, taking the pot off of the stove and onto the counter. Sighing, she turned with a small, sheepish smile on her face “Soup's on.”
Applebloom chuckled and got the bowls along with some bread while Mac got more juice from the fridge. Scoot quickly snatched a bowl and shot in front of her friend for the first bowlful. AJ shook her head, getting reminded how spry Scootaloo could actually be. She gladly served the pegasus and her little sister before getting a bowl for Macintosh and herself. Scootaloo grabbed spoons for everyone before tossing them on the table, plopping down in her chair and nearly had her food up to her lips before AJ stopped her “Now hold on there.” she said, sitting down. “In this house, we say a lil' something before we eat.” Before Scoot had a chance to reply, the farmer mare gently held her hand and that of her sisters to say grace. Applebloom and Mac followed suit; sitting down.
When everyone was holding hands, AJ lowered her head and prayed “Princess Celestia. Thank ya for giving us enough ta eat and enough to cope with. Without ya, our world would be a lesser place. Thank ya kindly.” With a smile and a bowing of her head, AJ let her sis and Scootaloo's hands go, smirking “Okay. Now ya can pig out.”
Scoot didn't waste any time digging in and shoveling a mountainous spoonful of beans into her mouth. A few legumes splattered down into the bowl and splashed sauce onto the table but no one paid much notice. They all were either chatting between bites or too busy eating or chuckling at Scootaloo's latest tale of how she tried to fly; always ending in an injury. Even though she was a crippled pegasus, it didn't stop her. She was just as stubborn and prideful as Rainbow Dash was.
When the sun finally cast some of its rays on the farm house, the breakfast cooked up by the two teenaged fillies was long gone and so was the juice. Happy and sated from breakfast, Mac excused himself to get to work outside in the barn. Applejack wished him luck “Clean' rust off them tools ain't gonna be easy.”
Mac shook his head, placing his dish in the sink “Nope.”
AJ chuckled “But ah think yur happy just keepn' yurself busy no matter what it is.”
Mac smiled on his way out the door “Eyep.” A true workhorse. AJ just smiled and got up to put her dish in the sink.
She turned and to the two fillies still at the table “Now Ah expect ya both to clean up since you made breakfast. Okay?”
Applebloom nodded but Scootaloo groaned “Do we have to?” Applebloom answered for her sister “Them's the rules. Ya make a mess, ya gotta clean it up.” she shrugged “Those are just how things are here”. AJ smiled at her sister; a little jolt of pride hit her. It was just one more thing that reminded her that her sister wasn't a little filly anymore. That crossed wrench and hammer on her flank made sure most illusions of fillyhood were gone from Applejack's mind.
“Now while you two clean up, Ah'll be up in the attic cleaning up some of Granny's things. Make sure you two don't make a mess.”
Scoot nodded as she stood, correcting the older mare “We're nearly seventeen, Applejack. We know.” she chuckled.
AJ felt a little heat from her cheeks “Sorry. Just that...”
Applebloom interrupted her sister “Ya don't gotta baby us no more sis. We're plenty old ta take care of ourselves. 'Sides, you got somepony else who you gotta take care of.” she chuckled along with Scootaloo, who just looked at Applebloom with an impish smile. Applejack was going to ask what they meant but she assumed it was some sort of joke from they way they were acting: Scootaloo walking away with her hips swaying and her hand over one eye like hair.
“Jus'...” she shook her head “Never mind.” Laughing a little, she left the kitchen and ascended the staircase, leaving the two teens to giggle to themselves. Walking down towards the end hallway, far past her room, AJ locked eyes on the simple wooden square with a hanging ring above her. The attic hadn't been open for years; not since Granny came back from Manehatten from visiting Babs. Reluctantly, she reached for the ring, having to go on her toes just to grab it, and pulled it down. The ladder slid down and nearly hit the mare square in the chest; only quick reflexes saved her from a nasty bruise. AJ cursed a little under her breath and stood out of the way, letting the latter slide freely down to the floor. Carefully she mounted on the bottom rung, stepping slowly on the rickety old wood into the yawning black opening above. When her head had cleared the ledge, she peered around; wide eyed at the silhouettes covered in dust.
The atmosphere of the small room was enough to make breathing a little difficult. By now the midsummer sun was hitting the little farm house dead on and it made the attic stifling. Finishing her ascent, AJ let her eyes adjust to the near darkness. “Now where's that light?” she asked aloud. Her head answered that when she smacked into the hanging light bulb. Grumbling, she jolted her arm up and tugged at the chain, lighting the room up. With a snort towards her father for putting the light so low, AJ's eyes scanned the attic for Granny's things. She merely turned her head a few degrees when she spotted the trunk, positively littered with stickers from around Equestria and most of the world. A little smile spread across her lips as she walked over and knelt down.
The trunk itself was older than the house was; at least by a century or more. It belonged to Applejack's great-grandmother back when Ponyville was just starting as a settlement. She ran her fingers along the edge of the steamer trunk with a little smile before opening it. The smell it let loose was rather pleasant in a queer way, smelling like stale apple perfume and dull cured leather. Another smell caught her nose and it made the mare repel her head back. She remembered it from her childhood but couldn't rightly place it. Bearing the stench, she leaned forward and started to organize what her late grandmother left behind. First thing that caught her eye was a photo album bound in white leather, looking like the day it was made.
Brushing some dust off of its cover, AJ let curiosity get the best of her; flipping the book open to its first page. Inside was the very first Sweetapple family reunion taken in fuzzy sepia. She recognized no one in the photo but it still brought a smile to her face. Flipping through the book, she witnessed seven generations of Sweetapples grow from filly right to their golden years. It gave her a little bit of pain when she realized that in some photographs that the older mares and stallions were simply gone. Again, the familiar gloom crept back into her mind. Along with thinking of Granny Smith, she had to close the book.
Applejack gently placed the album down and dug around to see what they could keep and what should be given to her grandmother's surviving relatives. Pulling out albums, postcards from around the known world and some odd looking figurines of deer,
Applejack found a treasure trove of things that she wanted to keep just for her personal interest in them. She reached for the last item at the bottom of the trunk but she froze once her hands felt it. It was a flat box made out of nearly black ebony wood and smooth as one of Rarity's dresses. AJ peered down and knew at once what it was. Simple bronze hinges held the top half with its bottom and a small latch kept it closed.
Hands jittering, AJ unlatched the box and opened it. The stench of tarnished metal from earlier became nigh unbearable for a few moments. Through scrunched eyes AJ saw what inside. Laying on red velvet was a single pistol in glimmering blue steel. Pausing for just a moment to admire it, she gently pushed her fingers under its cheery wood grip and wrapped her digits around it. Despite the heat in the attic, it was freezing cold. AJ nearly was in tears as she remembered it and read the description engraved on its barrel: 'Little Apple ~ Use not in anger or fear but in honor. Baldwin.'
The pistol was something her mother vehemently opposed ever since her father gifted it for Applejack's thirteenth birthday. Indeed, she argued with him but in the end her father made a good point. He wanted his little Apple to be able to defend herself from anything that had wandered outside of the Everfree or any dangerous trespassers. She remembered the day she first held the thing in her hands. It made her so fearful until she shot the first bullet; aiming through squinted eyes. Even though she didn't pay attention, the little can on the fence fell right off. With her father congratulating her, she aimed and fired every round with near marksmare like precision. Applejack fondly remembered the pride her father had in her that day.
“Thank ya, Pa.” she muttered as if her father was still there.
Seeing how deep Granny hid the box, it looked like she had the same aversion to the tool like her mother had. A little tug of interest pulled at her ponytail. She wanted to see something. Her hand went under the barrel and bumbled around; if memory served her correctly, she could pull on something to swing the cylinder out. Near the end of the barrel AJ pulled a little tube out that made the cylinder unlock and swing out towards the floor. Inside each little round housing were six brass bullets; on the butt of each were stamped the numbers three, five and seven. If these were the kind of bullets that she had first fired twelve years ago, they kicked like an angry mule. Her arm never really did recover from the recoil.
She locked the bullets back in and started to put the revolver away but paused. It started at the front of her head and worked its way back. The same, queer feeling of dizziness returned. She tried to dismiss it, trying to busy herself with organizing everything but it only became worse as time went on. It was like her head weighed nothing. Every little movement over compensated her balance and she fought to keep herself upright. When the room started to spin, she slowly hunched over herself and held her face in her hands. AJ took deep breaths, held them inside and slowly let them out in an attempt to get herself reoriented again. In the back of her head, she knew something was wrong 'This ain't no hangover. Ain't the heat neither.' she thought of a moment on what it could be before trying to assure herself 'Gotta be stress.' she groaned 'Betwixt the funeral 'n things, the stress is getting' to me.'
Eventually the dizzy spell lost its dark enchantment on the mare's brain and left as suddenly as it started. AJ felt the need to get out of the attic. Whether it was something she took out of the trunk or the attic itself, she needed some fresh air. She put nearly everything back in the chest for later save her revolver case; she put that under her arm. Quickly she made her way out of the attic and barely left the light on its cable as she pulled the chain. Once the stairs were up and the hatch locked, she went to her bedroom; floorboards creaking under her boots. Placing the case down on her bed, she gave a little smirk at it.
A thought popped into her head 'Don't Ah still got that holster somewhere?' Between trying to remember where the old leather sling was and having some leftover anxiety about the dizzy spell, she was engrossed until the breaking of glass snapped her out of it; jumping at the sudden nose.
Frustrated and mildly concerned Applejack went her door and yelled “Applebloom? What happened?”
Applebloom's voice was faint but AJ made out half sentences: “Scoot! Ah can't believe tossed it at me!” “Whatcha mean you didn't do it?” “C'mon Scootaloo! Tell it! Why did ya throw the glass at me?”
After hearing this and getting no answer from the two fillies, she hastily stomped downstairs and through the living room, roaring at the two teens in the kitchen “Now what 'n tarnation is going on!?” She crossed her arms and loomed over the two.
Applebloom had her ears perked up, looking frustrated and angry. Scootaloo's ears were flat and a little look of fear was in her eyes. Nearly three long minutes of awkward silence, AJ's question was answered by the stuttering Scootaloo “W-we...I-I was j-just...I didn't do it!” Arms across her chest and hunched over, Scootaloo looked like she was about to get pummeled. The flashes of the first months of living with Dash raced across her vision. As well that of her father.
Rainbow Dash never struck her but the yelling reminded the orange pegasus about both Rainbow and her dead father; the one who actually did hit in his drunken stupors. With a tear nearly rolling down her cheek as she sunk away, Applebloom raced over and hugged her friend tightly. Scoot buried her head in Applebloom's neck as the dirtiest look was shot over at her sister. The guilt made her want to join her grandmother “Ah geeze...” she winced “Ah didn't mean it like that, sugar cube. Just that, ya gotta understand, we've all been under plenty a'stress.”
Applebloom snapped at her sister “Well that ain't no reason to yell at her like that!”
She was right. There was no reason. For a split second when she yelled, she felt her mind getting fogged by anger. That cloud was back. It was alien to her and uncalled for yet she gave in to it anyway. “Look...um...Ah...damn it. Ah didn't mean ta yell.” she looked down at the floor, remorseful by her actions “Ah ain't gonna hit ya. Ah ain't like yur Pa. Ah...Ah don't know what came over me.”
Scootaloo, calmer at AJ's tone, smiled weakly “No. S'okay. I-I-I didn't mean to freak out like that.” she gave a little chuckle to let her fear and embarrassment out “I guess we've all been feelin' it.”
Scoot patted her friend's arm and pulled away “I know ya didn't mean it Applejack.”
Applejack looked up from under her brow, smiling just a little bit and muttering “Ya forgive me?”
Scoot and Applebloom smiled almost at once. “Of course!” Scoot said, “I just got scared because you yell like a damn demon!” she chuckled.
AJ's sister agreed “Ya do got a loud voice when ya yell, sis, and ya do got a lil' temper on ya.” Scoot had to add “I think you made the window's rattle.”
AJ raised her head and chuckled, knowing exactly where she got it from “Well thank Ma for that, Ah got her temper. Mac got Pa's smarts and subtlety. Speakin' of...” Applejack spun her head around, trying to find the wall clock next to the fridge. The hands read nine AM. “Ah think it's about time Ah get on outta here for the mornin'. If Macintosh is done, we'll be in the orchard near the North end. If not, the barn.”
Applebloom smiled “Don't worry. We'll behave but....” she trailed off and looked at Scoot who shuffled her feet; continuing where Bloom left off “Can we have Sweetie Belle over? She wanted to help Pipsqueak get his mark today so....”
“Yes.” Applejack interrupted “But so long as ya don't break nothin'.” she pointed at the two of them “And fer land sakes, clean up whatever ya gonna do.”
Applebloom gasped, mimicking Rarity “Oh! Darlin'! Ah would never do such a thing!” With that she did her best to walk out of the back door with a straight face and a lady's gait. Scoot followed her friend, laughing her tail off.
Shaking her head at the both of them, AJ went up stairs to fetch her Stetson. Nearly jogging up the stairs, she came to a sudden halt at the top of them. In the middle of the hallway was her hat. Arching her brows and tilting her head, she slowly walked towards it.
She felt no breeze and she knew her window wasn't open. AJ bent down and looked at the inside of her hat, mumbling “Now how didja get out here?” She tried to rationalize what happened and how. It wasn't a prank, for that she was sure of; Mac wouldn't do such a thing, the girls were down with her and Sweetie Belle was just waking up. Although she wasn't very superstitious, she took it as a sign that Granny was still around. Taking it to heart and putting her hat on, she turned and left.
The day, although partially clouded, was bright and relaxing. The perfect day for outdoorsy work and, along with the breeze, one where you didn't break a sweat. Taking a deep breath of the sweet smelling air, AJ made her way to the barn, watching as some Pegasi flew around at cloud level, pushing them into place or fluttering them away. About halfway to the barn, a crash and breaking of wood behind her made Applejack duck down and spin around. Wide eyed, she saw a blond tail and grey legs with shorts on them sticking up from the crater that had formed. Immediately she knew.
“Derpy!” AJ sprinted to help the accident prone mail mare.
On the lip of the crater, the poor pegasus was faced down and looking like she was dead. She had managed to face plant at full speed into the soft ground. A tad panicked,
Applejack grabbed ahold of both legs and pulled. With a bit of strength she managed to drag Derpy out and sat her onto her rump. She hardly looked phased with a clueless smile on her face.
“Letter for Applejack Sweetapple!” she sang. AJ didn't know if the mail mare was looking at her head or her hat but watched as the wall-eyed mare shoved her hand into the post bag and yanked out a half crumpled letter.
AJ, amazed that Derpy was unscathed, took the envelope and bowed her head slightly “Thank ya.” Without another word, Derpy saluted the befuddled farm pony and spread her wings, hurling herself back into the sky and towards the Everfree. Applejack rolled her eyes and sighed, yelling up “Ponyville is the other way!”
Shaking her head in antipathy over Derpy's antics, she brought the letter to her attention and read its title. Through the paper folds she could make out in deep blue ink and elegant calligraphy 'Ms. Applejack Sweetapple. Sweet Apple Acres. Ponyville. 8W3.' The rest of the envelope was devoid of anything other than the stamp and postmark of the Trottingham central post office. AJ assumed what it might be and she was none too keen on opening it just yet. Besides, it could wait. A little sigh escaped her lips as she made her way to the barn.
Out of the warm sun and into the shade of the large wooden hall she peered around and called out to her brother, “Big Mac? Ya in here?” Her answer was silence. Although there was evidence that he had been in the barn, sitting down at the small work bench. The work light was still on over it so he hadn't strayed far. Applejack walked towards the table and glanced at it's organized chaos: tools, both rusted and clean; two open cans of oil and grease sat beside one closed one; a dozen soiled rags rested on the far side of the space and a small radio was turned down so low that it could hardly be heard. Slightly worried,
AJ called out again, reaching for the radio's volume knob “Macintosh? Where are y..?”
The scream that the radio suddenly emitted was enough to deafen her for a moment or two. It was like a mare's yell but by some unholy voice that was full of rage or sorrow. AJ tilted over from the pain in her ears and her face scrunched up by its sheer power it was emitting. Her hands immediately went up to her ears and clamped down on her head in some vain attempt to block the sound out. Her hand reached out like a lightning strike and shut the radio off in one swift motion. She looked at the plain wood box with the off center speaker and gnawed antenna. The mare was still in a slight state of shock at its sudden, and nightmarish, shrieking.
“Applejack?” She turned towards the front of the barn and smiled a little. Her brother had returned with a can of oil in hand “When did you get here?”
Still in a slight state of confusion, she shook her head and smiled as best as she was able while rubbing her sore ears “Oh, 'bout a minute ago Ah suppose. Didn't find ya in here.” He just smiled in response, going over and pulling an old box out to sit on. Unbeknownst to Applejack, Macintosh had seen the letter still clutched in his sister's hand. He was just about finished cleaning a hammer's head when he asked her “What does it say?”
Applejack was confused at first but remember the letter in hand “Oh! This?” she asked “No idea. Derpy gave it when Ah was comin' out.”
Big Mac chuckled a little “Ah know. Ah saw the crater from the road.” he glanced over and looked at the letter before glancing back up to his sister's face “Well?” he asked, going back to his work. Applejack cleared her throat, looking down at her hand. She tucked her tail between her legs like Winona did when she was in fear.
She muttered “Ah still don't wanna relive it.”
Mac stopped and smiled “We gotta face things eventually. It'll make us stronger in the end.” Once he heard the letter being ripped open, he continued. She unfolded the letter and read it to herself, passing on to her brother when she had done. He gently grasped it and read:
'Dear Ms. Applejack Sweetapple.
I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. Not only was she a wonderful pony but one of my closest friends. My only regret is not being able to attend her internment. As per her wishes, you or your older brother, Macintosh, must come to Trottingham to attend the reading of her last Will and Testament. Joining us will be Valencia Orange, Hamlin Orange, Gala Sweetapple and Pink Pearl Sweetapple. I realize this is short notice but it will be read tomorrow at three P.M. (3:00 PM), at my office. The address is seventy-five (75) Waterfront St. Suite 414.
Sincerely
Pera Orange.'
Macintosh folded the paper up and gave it back to his sister “You don't wanna go. Do you?” he asked.
She placed the note back in its wrapper, shaking her head “You know Ah don't but...” she sighed, turning and leaning against the table “...Ah know you'll force me to go.”
Mac smiled a little “Eyup.” was all he said. He disliked putting the onus on her but he had gotten over Granny's passing. It was obvious from how she was acting, trying to avoid what happened, Applejack wasn't. Another, longer sigh came out, enough for her to move some stray strands of mane.
After a pause, she relented to her brother's wishes; she knew it was for the best. “Fine.” she looked over and grabbed a rag “Now turn that thing on. Ah wanna know how sunny it's gonna be in Trottingham.”
For nearly an hour both brother and sister cleaned the rusted and nearly neglected tools ranging with the radio on low. From simple hammers and wrenches all the way to hand shears and scythes were cleaned. The most difficult was a pole pruner due to its size and age; rust was everywhere on it. Both siblings chatted while they worked, segueing into topics of family, Applebloom's cutie mark and what possessed Scootaloo to have a thing for Pipsqueak; all the while sharing a good laugh about it.
Then the dizziness started again. It was worse this time as the entirety of Applejack's vision spun around. Her eye rolled back into her head and she fell over to her side, dropping the can of oil all over her jeans. Macintosh was quick to react, extending his arm to catch her head before it hit the gravel covered ground. Carefully he laid her down and knelt over her, lightly patting her cheeks with the back of his hand “AJ? Applejack? Wake up.” Despite how serious the situation was, his voice was still calm as always.
Applejack wished and prayed that her mind could get such a resolve now. Her vision started to cloud and darken with a fog that wasn't natural. It almost seemed malicious, blinding her while the edges of her sight remained clear; only to swivel her eyes and have that blessed little sight taken from her again. In her head, she was panicking. Not even Nightmare Moon was able to rouse this out from her. It was fear. Something the stout hearted mare wasn't used to feeling.
And like that, it was gone. The dizziness vanished and the fear along with it. Yet when she felt something, it wasn't much. It was neutral. Nothing happy, nothing sad but just emotionlessness. The only this she did feel was a monster of a headache and the wet oil on her thighs. She groaned and tried to sit up but Big Mac placed a hand on her shoulder “No. You stay there. I'll get some water for ya.” Before she could answer, the large stallion charged off out of the barn. Alone, AJ felt the fear creep back into her heart.
Ignoring her brother's demand, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked around in a bid to bring her mind back to reality. 'Calm, deep breaths. You can do it. It's just like Twi taught ya.' She was ambivalent about closing her eyes, wondering if the fog might return. In the midst of her controlled breathing, she gently let her eyes droop down and close. The relaxing warmth of the day combined with her meditative breaths rejuvenated her spirit. She could at least chuckle at how silly she must have looked with oil on her clothes; hair mussed up and no doubt bags under her eyes.
Sounds of heavy footfalls roused her attention. Running into the barn with a bucket of water was Big Mac, jogging over and kneeling down beside his sister. She cracked a little smirk as her brother scooped up water and patted his palm on her head. She reached up and pushed it away “Alright. Ya don't gotta baby me. Ah'm fine now. Just...” she nodded over to the bench “Gotta be those fumes. Anyway Ah gotta be leavn',” she carefully got to her feet “...Rainbow's expectin' me and Ah think Ah better change.” She looked over her pants and it was worse than she thought. Her entire left leg was coated with black slick.
Macintosh cheekily splashed some water on his sister and got up “Alright. Ah'll do the rest myself. Have a good time sis.” he smiled wide, hugging her and getting some oil on his own jeans as well. They both parted ways with Applejack jogging to the house. She bolted across the grounds and in the door, nearly running over Winona in the living room. Before she even reached her room she had her jeans off and tossed aside, fetching another pair in her wardrobe. Not even taking her boots off, she slipped into them and tried to ignore the slight damp stains on her coat, going back downstairs and out the door with her dog giving a bark to her mistress.
Before she even left the porch she found Scootaloo running beside her in a full sprint. Without a word between them they both smiled at each other in a silent agreement before breaking out into a full on race to town. Unhindered by heavy boots, the orange pegasus had a far lead, yelling back to the heavier mare “Last one to town is Filly Fooler!”
