My Little Spartan: Or, a Tale of Thundering Hooves

Cortana was the pride and joy of Humanity's advances in the field of Artificial Intelligence. With enough processing power to surpass the next seven best, she was truly a marvel of computer science. Her knack for multitasking and ingenuity was legendary: While translating Arabian Nights into Tagalog, then translating it yet again into binary code, she could devise one hundred sixty-nine different ways to defeat Deep Blue in just seven moves. therefore, it's no surprise that in a technologically impaired world like Equestria, she was pretty damn bored. Currently, Twilight was explaining the history of Equestria. While John was taking his time memorizing it, Cortana had already gone over the information forty-two different times.

By Primus, she is so annoying. Although she was positive that her recent irritations were an inevitable result of her Rampancy, she was starting to care less and less. That is not to say that she was becoming apathetic towards her condition; rather, her thoughts were consumed by a new topic. That presence…It shouldn't have been able to make contact. But…it did. Somehow. The Other, as she had taken to calling it, didn't seem like another AI. In fact, it was beginning to remind her more and more of the Gravemind. She shuddered, as the memories of her capture resurfaced. Trying to push the thought out of her mind, she once again began to think of The Other. Oh, where are you?

"Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear." Had she a body, Cortana would have jumped. Nevertheless, she composed herself to speak to The Other.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me where you've been," she huffed.

"Patience, my blue friend. Much will be revealed. It is only a matter of time. If it helps to placate you, I've been directing some of my …other agents."

"Other agents?"

"My plan is a delicate one. Any number of things can go wrong. Don't get me wrong; you will still have a role to play. And, your reward shall be great…" Although she was loathe to surrender herself to yet another strange mind, Cortana couldn't help but be intrigued by the proposition that had been set before her. The Gravemind had never offered her anything like this, and she was sure as hell that not even Halsey could do it.

"Alright," she whispered. "I've thought over your plan. I've reviewed it over and over. I…I accept."

"Excellent. My agent will contact you shortly. But for now, he has other business to attend to."

/

Flam was drunk. Very drunk. After the defeat of his machines as the hooves of that accursed Apple family, he and his brother Flim were forced to go on the run. Everywhere, they went, the ponies scorned and mocked them. What had once been their dream now turned into their shameful curse. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Flam's dear brother Flim activated the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 and turned off the quality control once more. Drunk on cider, Flam found his beloved partner in crime. Well, at least what was left of him. Ever since that fateful day, Flam had carried two flasks: One full of Everfree dandelion vodka, the other full of Flim.

"You! Bartender! Anoth- another drink," he said in that sexy Scott McNeill voice of his.

"My friend, you're drunker than a skunk! You really need to lay off." In the ususal Equestrian spirit, the bartender tried to do the right thing and help what he perceived to be a pony in dire need of help. Unfortunately, this was no average pony, NOH! This was a Scott McNeill pony, and therefore had inherited some sense of glorious insanity.

"How…hic…How about…NOH!" Suddenly, Flam head-butted the innocent bartender. Disturbingly enough, however, Flam's horn had caused the bartender to become stuck to his head. Roaring louder than Firaevus Carron, Flam flipped his head back, with the bartender still attached. Raging, he began to run around, swinging his head to loosen the bartender. As he ran around raging and swinging, Flam hit several other ponies with his new horn warmer. "Raaargh! Out of my way!" A pony tried to comply, but was swatted by the deceased bartender. "Raaaaaaargh!" Flam continued to flail and thrash, hitting innocent ponies. The lucky ones got to limp away. Giving one las roar of triumph, Flam made his way to the closest bottle of alcohol and began to guzzle it down.

"Most impressive, if somewhat crude," came a voice. It was high and cold, and lacked compassion. The speaker also seemed to hiss out his esses. Turning to this new challenger, Flam spotted a sickly white unicorn in a cloak. Still drunk, he roared and bucked like the crazy bronco he was. He fired a beam of energy from his horn, sending the bartenders limp form towards the newcomer, who in a bored voice simply whispered "Protego." A shield of energy flew up between the carcass and the unicorn (for unicorn he was). Suddenly, Flam was hit by a wave of magic, and forced back.

"Who are you? Wh-what do you want?" Flam continued to struggle against the new unicorn's magic, but to no avail.

"I am the greatest sorcerer that shall soon be known to this pitiful land. And you, for some reason unknown to me, has been selected by my…master."

"And why would I want to –hic-work for you?"

Voldy-hooves smiled. It was not pleasant. "Simple."

/

It was a beautiful sunny day in-Ahem, I'm sorry. It was a cold, foggy night in Manehattan. Even though this was Equestria, there were still problems in the inner-cities. Seriously, how else could Babs have gotten so tough? Anyway… A lone pony was hurrying. He was lookin from side to side, as if trying to avoid a pursuer. Hearing a noise, he began to move at a brisk trot. Nervously looking from side to side, he heard a sadistic laugh. Breaking into a full gallop, he ran through the empty streets of the Manehattan slum. Suddenly, he ran headlong into a pony. He could tell this was his pursuer as he felt himself gripped by unicorn magic. Plus, her sadistic grin was clue enough to him that he was her prey. As he cowered down, the hitmare began to speak.

"Well well well…If it isn't the Mob's favorite squealer. Heh. You can probably guess why I'm here…"

"No! P-please! I…I promise I won't leak no more secrets! F-fuhgeddaboudit…'bout everything…"

"Ah, but see here my friend, I am a professional. And who would trust the work of me, Red Runner, Hitmare Extraordinaire if I let a mark go? I've pursued you long and far, and I'm not about to let you go that easily. You're biggest mistake was coming back to Manehattan, friend. Now," at this, her grin grew wider. "Now begins the fun part." Alas the fun part was not to be expanded upon, for just at that very moment, something swooped down and grabbed Red Runner. The hitmare yelled in protest, but was dropped somewhere else in the city. The mysterious figure then returned to the scared target, and landed. Silhouetted by the darkness, the spread out her wings, and began to pace. The former target was giddy with gratitude.

"Thank you for saving me! The mob wants me dead, but you saved me!" The figure said nothing. Now unnerved, the pony started up again. "Y-you, you must be some kind of super hero!" It was at this point that the pony noticed the cruel talons and sharp beak.

"No, not really," said Gilda. "I just wanted the contract." Snikt. The deed done, Gilda began to lick her talons clean, she heard the pounding of hooves on the ground. Not the sound of terrified running, but the sound of applause that ponies are able to make.

"Well done, my ferocious friend. Quick, efficient, with just the right amount of sadism." Gilda turned to see two unicorns: one, white as a leper, the other drunk as a Decepticon on high grade Energon. Snorting contemptuously, she stretched her wings then launched herself up. Enjoying a brief second of weightlessness, she oriented herself for the free fall and downward. Before she hit the ground, she pulled up, and came to hover before the two. The hooded unicorn spoke again. "Yesss…such grace, such precision. Such-ferocity. You will do well on our team." At this, Gilda laughed.

"Team? Ha! Why would I want to join a couple of bozos like you? I'm a one-griffin kind of show!" She clawed at them, as if to prove her point.

"You want me should-hic-kill 'er, boss?" asked Flam.

"No, my sorry friend, I do not want you to kill her. He does not want you to kill her. Ahem, Ms. Gilda, as to why you would want to join us, well I can think of a couple reasons. Namely, the same reasons you are one of many to join our ranks."

"I'm listening."