MANesfestations Of Equestria

Chapter 3

An Interrogation

"So you're a 'Keros', what is that?"

"Not a 'Karos', I am Keros, what I am is a human," I replied sardonically.

"So what is a hue-man," The purple horse with a horn asked me.

It falls to me to explain what a human really is. It's not much, but I've never really thought about that before. I suppose I could start with technological advances, complex societies, and horrible wars, but I don't really know much about those. After all, In Russia, I was always more interested in folklore and myth, on account of the world being an absolutely horrid place to live, with no hope of happiness, or peace. So what I told it was...

"Humans are animals capable of thought, are typically quick to change, and aren't special other than the fact that we rule the planet. Who are you?"

"I am Twilight Sparkle, Unicorn in service to Princess Celestia, The mare right beside me, and overall greatest pony in Equestria," The purple thing replied.

"SO...a self-glorified horse...." I answered with excess derision.

"Not a whorse, Keros, a princess, and an Alicorn besides, but I suppose I should let her speak for herself," the purple one called Twilight replied.

That's when I noticed a beautiful creature with a white coat, and flowing blue hair, with a sun on her flank, that reminded me of an old friend of mine back home. I also noticed it watching me with a strange look on its face, and wearing a crown about as long as my arm.

"I am Princess Celestia, keeper and caretaker of Equestria, at your service. So you are the most interesting thing in the world. I suppose when I asked Twilight to summon you, you were in some manner of trouble, were you?"

Not that I'm saying that I'm a horse-lover, but damn, the accent on this one. I don't care much for royalty, but this one might grow on me. Maybe I've got something wrong with my eyes.

"I was beaten to half-death, and fell ten feet on my head, if that's what you mean."

At this, I thought I might have said something very wrong, and upset them, for they the strangest most horrified expression on their faces....snouts....yeah I'm gonna stick with faces. I mean, there isn't much distinguishing them from faces, they were horse more in the sense of body, and even then it was like looking at something that was disturbingly similar to a cartoon...except no clothes. So when I asked them what I said they replied in such a manner of facial expressions, that was... dare I say...comic.

"How...Why...What...Who would hit somepony in such a way that that somepony would be near death, and what somepony would then be able to get up and walk far enough to drop on that somepony's head?" Twilight asked with vehemence.

"Only and Idiot with a stupid grin, who is soon to be ball-less, and miserable."

Now when I said that, I thought it would be clear that I was promising bloody violence on the corpse of that pest Mickey. Unfortunately, they asked with a similar, though muted, expression of horror, why I would take away a ball, and thus my threat rolled past their ears. I didn't explain to them what I meant. It took them a while to regroup themselves, since I didn't explain myself. They then proceeded to talk betwixt themselves and decided what to say next, in clear, but muted whispers. I wasn't really listening, but with my thousand yard stare on them, they couldn't really tell what I was doing, thinking of a way out of the ropes, and out of this strange wooden room, that clearly wasn't a dream. When they finally decided what to say, I broke out of my reverie only to hear the worst mission statement, I ever could.

"So, Keros the human, welcome to Equestria, home of the pony queendom, and all its magical glory."

After that, all hell broke loose and a pink cannonball zoomed around the room, along with another higher pitched female voice.

"A Party, A Welcome party, A Hello party, A New Residence party, Oh my so many parties to plan and throw and eeeee," was all I heard before being thrown to my back and having an unpleasant weight settle on it. "I'm Pinkie Pie, It's nice to meet you, I hope you like parties, because this one is gonna be a doozy."

When the unpleasant weight ceased to be on my back and I could actually move, I turned to look up at the ceiling and my jaw dropped. Standing on the ceiling like it was perfectly natural, was a pink pony with the most outrageous getup and fluffy thick mane, jumping up and down, saying or should I say singing, "Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie, round and round we go, Up and down and all around, a partying we will go, Nice to meet you Keros."

After a few minutes of that I was helped up, and the pink monstrosity was told to leave. Of course by then I was in shock and nothing could break me out of it. Or should I say, almost nothing, as they threw a glass of water in my face, which woke me right up.

"Now Keros, do you normally look like that?"

On the third time I actually heard that question. I started to wonder what that meant, and looked down. A big mistake. My ribs were still poking out of my stomach, but that wasn't really the problem, It was that my favorite t-shirt, that I poured more than five hundred dollars into, with a specially designed green dragon circling and biting it tail, throwing out its wings to equal sides, and bisected by three evenly placed swords, a design it took forever to get someone to sew into a pitch black t-shirt, and that I personally designed myself was ruined. That's not even counting the weighted and plated material, made to withstand any beating. By god, that's wasted money, my mother'll kill me. Of course with my ribs poking out the way they were I could only focus on my shirt for so long.

The white protrusions were evenly arrayed so that my bones seemed to be retractable. I flexed several times just to check, and sure enough they went in and out, I even entertained the thought that I might be able to move them elsewhere and do all sorts of things, like the X-men, and they did. I smiled with all the evil I could muster, for my newly hatched plan.

"No, this is not what I normally look like," I replied, and cut the rope, reached for my knife, dashed over to the so called princess, got behind her, holding the knife at her throat. "But these are pretty useful, now back away, or I cut the Princess's throat."