MANesfestations Of Equestria

Chapter 4

I...Fucked Up

You know, It never fails to amuse me when someone else gets trolled. But I never expected for a real-life troll-fest. When I grabbed Princess Celestia, the first thing I expected was, I admit, was the last thing I should have expected. So when Celestia and Twilight started giggling uncontrollably, I was more than mildly upset.

"What's wrong...didn't you hear me? I said FUCKING BACK UP!!!"

As they continued to laugh, I found myself lifted off my feet and held in the air, screaming obscenities. That continued exactly like that for 30 minutes, before they set me down and held me, more than mildly upset, and steaming, but silent, on the floor. After another minute or two of giggling, they reminded me that they had magic, and boy did I facepalm.  Never in my life did I feel more...trolled is probably the best word...than this. I even started to laugh myself, though I reminded myself of the pickle I found myself in.

"So what do you really look like?" Twilight asked in a nonchalant manner.

"Well, Twilight, I don't have movable ribs sticking out of my stomach, and through my favorite shirt," I replied with as much venom as I could force. Boy, I really was hung up on that shirt. "Course, I could fix that now."

As I moved my ribs back inside Into an easier to hold location....Boy was that awesome or what, movable bones, I'm fucking Kimimaro here... I thought about how I was going to get out of this pickled turnip. Once I had a semi-coherent plan together, I turned my hearing back on to listen to their next question.

"Why did you attack Princess Celestia?"

For some reason, I don't like Twilight, It seems she talks a little too much, especially since 'The Princess' was supposed to be asking her own questions.

"I thought I might be able to...get away from being held hostage and instead, holding one, so I can get away, and perhaps, not be held ramrod straight, or in some other uncomfortable fashion, or even being left to bleed out on the floor for some manner, should something go wrong."

At that, Twilight went through an Immense blush, for what I assume she already did, but I have no idea what might have happened when I blacked out...though I would prefer not to think about it. After that there was silence for a little while, I suspect because, Twilight was ashamed at something, Celestia was looking at her in shock, and I had a forced quizzical expression on my face. Least I could do was troll them back...

After about an hour of enforced silence, I was pretty bored, and was laying on my back, though how that was possible, especially with me being held the way I was, and having no possible room to move, I have no idea. And no, I'm not going to question it.  Since I thought I had been waiting long enough, I decided to try to troll them once more.

"Hey...you got something to eat in here?" I asked with the most bored look on my face.

Shock is apparently pretty easy to find in Ponyland. And they nodded too, Twilight even asking the dragon, named Spike, To go bake some cookies. After he got back with some of the best sugar temptations, my mouth has laid on...I'm not sure I said that right, I decided to cut to the finish, figuratively speaking.

"All right, So this is what I think we should do...Since I'm tired and all why don't we continue this conversation in the morning when we've all got decent enough sleep to think properly. Then we can cut to the chase of you holding me hostage, letting me go, and get us all on our peaceful ways. That sound alright?"

I should have known to keep my mouth shut. The next thing I knew I was being taken outside, across a great distance, with a cover over my body, and thrown into, after I got the sheet off, a prison cell.

Waiting in a cell is never a fun thing. It's cold, It's drafty, and altogether worse than anything South-western Russia can put you through. I suppose I kind of deserved that, for outright flippancy and attempting to hold a magical alicorn, now where did that word come from, princess hostage.

I supposed that I was going to die for my crimes against the state, though I always thought that would happen eventually, horrid execution and all, but I found myself not caring at all. I had a good run after all, enjoyed myself thoroughly, and cannot really expect anything better. I've never really had a game plan for life beyond my early years. Everything I want is so simple.

At least I get to have a good sleep before I die.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night to screaming, and an acrid smell in the air. Not something I expect when I wake up, the first thing I thought was, 'Damn Russia, don't you start another war on me, I'm tired of waking up to bombing in the middle of the night'. Though when I started to  see flames all around me, lighting up the bars of the cell, that I wasn't in Russia anymore, I unintentionally whooped in excitement.

Now that the irrational thoughts were out of the way, I dropped to my stomach and rolled over to the cell door, which was mysteriously unlocked and open. Once I was out of the cell, I looked around me to see if there was a way I could get out of the building. That was when I noticed a long and full water trough right in front of me.

I was starting to suspect a theme in this but I really didn't care what it was at this point, I had to get out of there. I dropped into the trough of water just as a beam fell down right where I had been sitting a moment ago. I jumped out, and grabbed the trough... It wasn't as heavy as I'd though it would be... and headed up the stairs through the burning world above.