A tale of Punk kid who thought he drank too much cheap whiskey

“Well I've been around the country; and I've met a lot of kids. Some kids are smart, and some kids are dumb, but I don't pass judgement, they're just havin' fun. Some kids get fucked up, and others refrain. Thats what makes the world so great, no one should be the same.”

-Youth Brigade, Sink with Kalifornja

Just another boring ass fucking day, in a boring ass fucking town. The name of the town is Boulder, Colorado. You might say that I'm lucky to live here, ya know? Rich town, good education, right at the door to the Rocky Mountains. Paradise? Just wait till ya meet the people. College douche bags, up-tight rich people, and of course I can't not bitch about the “hippies.” No no no, not the type of hippies that sit around, smoke pot, and talk peace and love all day. I mean the only eat vegan, raw vegetables or tofu, rich, does yoga, Prius driving hippie. Fucking hell, you would think they would crash their expensive ass cars all the time... They can't see jack shit with their heads so far up their ass'.

And now I introduce myself. You see that guy over there on the bench with the long, dirty blonde hair, thin beard and camo jacket covered in patches? Just sitting there having a smoke and looking pissed off? Yeah, thats me; My name is Angus, (yes, like the beef) I am a cynical asshole, and a typical seventeen year old punk kid. I go to school, have my circle of friends, have my music, smoke cheap cigarettes and drink cheap booze. Generally I don't give much of a fuck about school or politics or any of that shit. I pride myself on being the guy parents pull their kids away from, while maybe shooting a dirty look or two.
And boring ass day? Yeah, that'll be fixed soon enough...

My phoned buzzed, I check it, * 1 new text * It's from one my of closest friends. A crazy fucker called Jack.

“Wana git a bottle?”

I think for a second before replying “yeh I geuss, its friday anyway so lets do it, I got 15 to pitch on whiskey” I type, then send

“word, me an Athena are at the library, seein' who be lurkin” says Jack

“cool, im on my way down there” I send the message, get up off the graffiti covered (some of it mine) bench, put on some music, grab my bike, and start riding.
** Elsewhere **

Twilight Sparkle worked feverishly, she was close, so close to finishing a spell to bend the fabric of space it's self. This spell would allow the caster bypass the massive expenditure of energy from moving mass great distances, facilitating long range teleportation. She had been working for weeks, this was not an assignment from the princess, this was just one of many projects she had undertaken over the past months, and she was very close to completing it.

“Maybe, instead of tearing a hole in space, which proved dangerous and difficult to control, I could try simply folding it. Therefore 'moving' the destination to the caster and then back to it's original place... hmm, it's worth a try” Thought Twilight

Her horn began to glow with a magenta aura. She felt the familiar flow of magic run through her. She manipulated the flow of magic and began to cast her experimental spell. Attempting to forcefully move space itself, and bend it to her will was proving difficult, but still she pressed on, determined. Then, there was a knock on the libraries door, breaking Twilights concentration. “Perfect timing” Twilight grumbled

She trotted down the stairs, Spike was doing usual chores, dusting, organizing books. The knocking persisted “I'm coming, hold on” called Twilight. She answered the door and found Rainbow Dash waiting on her porch, “I'm a bit busy at the moment, Rainbow, but what can I do for you?” asked Twilight, letting Rainbow though the door. “Well, I was kinda, well, um, do you have that book I asked for?” asked Rainbow with a slight blush

“Oh, you mean the 'solving the mystery of the masculine' by Blissful Dream?” asked Twilight enthusiastically, Spike look over at them with a smirk, Twilight glared at him, and he look away with a “pfft, mares” expression on his face. “Yeah, that one” said Rainbow, her blush deepening. Twilight giggled slightly, and beckoned Rainbow upstairs.”

** Meanwhile, in 'Merica **

It was a nice day out, not to hot, no wind, a few clouds. I continue on my ride to the library, running red lights and stop signs, disrupting traffic and pissing off the pedestrians. The ride there is short, and I'm there in a few minutes. Riding fast, dodgeing groups of homless people and other kids buying drugs from said homeless people. I locate my friends and a bench and ride up “what up man, Hah! Nice mohwak, ya do that last night? Whats up Athena” I say as I ride up

“Not much” said Athena

“Nothin' much, just waitin' for ya, so we can get this bottle, an yeah, I did” said Jack

“Well I'm here now, lets do it, I'm so sober I'm gonna die. Do ya think I can bum a cancer stick?” I ask

“I only got four left” said Athena

“Yeah, I got ya, but seriously, you need to buy packs more, man, you always bum half my fuckin' cigarettes” said Jack, handing me a Pall Mall, I light it, and inhale the smoke deeply.

“Yeah, well, I need booze money too” I reply
We start walking towards the group of hobos, and find the guy who always buys our liquor. “How much money do we have anyways?” I ask

“I got ten” said Jack

“five” said Athena

“well now, we got enough for a handle (1.75 liter) o KD (Kentucky Deluxe whiskey) an somthin' else, were gonna get fuckin' smashed tonight!” I say with a grin, taking a drag of my cigarette

“Fuck yeah! lets find charles an get these bottles” said Jack

We wonder for a bit, asking around, looking for this guy; and about five or so minutes later, we find Charles the liquor obtaining hobo. “Whatchu' kids need today?” asks Charles with a friendly tone

“A handle o' KD and a seven-fifty of whatever, I don't really give a shit” says Jack, handing Charles the cash “Alright, KD and a random seven-fifty, cool, you guys know the drill, Imma run ova' to Liquor Mart, sit tight” says Charles with a grin, turns, and walks down the path.

“So whats up with you man?” I ask Jack

“Nothin' much, I was over at this stupid ass 'party' last night, drinkin' a bit, an then fuckin' Julian comes up an is all like: 'Dude! Jack! Take this needle an ink an tattoo my ass!'” says Jack With a slight chuckle

“Did you?” asked Athena

“Yeah I tattooed six six six on his ass.” We all laughed pretty hard at this, it's not every day you hear about someone getting “six sixty six” tattooed on their posterior.
About fifteen minutes, half a joint and two cigarettes later, Charles returned with our booze. “Alright, one handle o' KD, and one seven-fifty of skol vodka for ya, I kept the change, you kids have a good night ya hear.” said Charles

We all thank Charles and start walking toward the bridge we all call the “lurk.” It's where high school kids go to drink, smoke pot, graffiti and otherwise be fine, upstanding citizens. There were already some other kids from our school there, they wave us over. “Yo whats up, you kids got any herb?” asks a kid with long hair and a worn knit hoodie, who we all refer to as 'Hippie.' “We got bottles” said Athena

“And I got some hash”

“Cool, here sit down an chill” said Hippie, patting the sand next to him, everyone else moves to make room. We break out the bottles and hash, and start drinking, smoking and playing music off Jacks I-pod and small speakers.

** Meanwhile, In huge ass hollow tree; seriously, thats pretty awesome, ya' gotta admit. **

“Here, 'Solving the Mystery of the Masculine'” Said Twilight Sparkle, handing the good sized hard back to Rainbow. “Heh, thanks Twi, you wont tell anypony about this, right?” asked Rainbow

“Don't worry, this is just between us.” said Twilight

“Thanks, Twi” said Rainbow, with a small smile

“Oh, and while you're here, do you think you can help me with a project? I've been trying to create a spell that will allow the caster to physically move the fabric of space by “folding” it. Moving two points that would otherwise be far apart, closer together on the casters plain of existence.” said Twilight with a smile, and earning a confused look from Rainbow

“Ok, in Equstrian, please Twilight” said Rainbow

“Oh sorry, I got carried away, Im simply making long range teleportation require less energy” said Twilight

“Cool, I don't have anything to do today, so yeah, I'll help you” said Rainbow

“Oh thank you so much, I've been moving objects across the room using this method” explained Twilight, gesturing towards a disorderly pile of books on the opposite side of the room.

“I think I'm ready to try it with a Pony now” said Twilight with a confident smile.

“Umm, ok, so you're going to teleport me across the room? Thats it?” Asked Rainbow, a bit confused.

“Yep, thats it, ready?” Asked Twilight

“Yeah, I geuss” said Rainbow

“Great! Lets begin” said Twilight with a grin. She began to let the flow of magic loose, then began to manipulate it, reciting her custom spell. She began to feel a slight drain on her reserves as the magic took effect, “folding” space.

Suddenly, Twilight encountered a resistance in space “strange” she thought, but still pushed on, then the barrier broke, there was a flash of light and a sound like thunder, and a shock wave. Twilight was thrown several paces back, the shock had thrown objects big and small across the room, It's was amazing neither she Rainbow were hurt. Rainbow had not teleported an inch, she was instead thrown across the room and hit one of Twilight's many book shelves. And where Rainbow was standing, there now lay the strangest creature anypony had ever seen.

Author's Note

My first Fanfic evar, critique is welcome, in fact, rip my writing to shreds.
I know my grammar/spelling is awful.