We are the scum of society. And proud of it.

Chapter 2: We are the scum of society. And proud of it.

** Meanwhile, at the lurk **

A few hours pass. Many bowls and cigarettes were smoked, and many shots were taken. The sun began to set. The merry band of delinquents got progressively more and more drunk. So far, it was adding up to be an excellent evening of drunkenness, vandalism and making noise. A spray paint can begins to clatter.

“Hey guys! I got my cans, lets put some shit up!” I call to my merry band of drunks

“Fuck yeah! Im gonna spread some truth tonight!” Yelled Jack, slurring slightly
I toss the spray can to Jack, who promptly begins to write some lyrics from Johnny Hobo: “An I might be sleepin' in a ditch tonight, but it's alright. Cause whiskey is my kinda lullaby!”

“Nice, I was hopin' to see some of that shit put up on the wall tonight.”

I pick up the can. Trying to think of something interesting to write was proving difficult. In the end, I settle to spray-paint a tank with a cock instead of a barrel with a fat cop driving it; masterpiece! Jack looked over at the drawing.

“Dude, that is the single fucking greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.” Jack said, taking a closer look at the fine detail of the war-machine.

“Yeah, not to shabby” observed Athena

“You guys are tipsy, lets get outta here. It's dark anyways.”

“Tipsy my ass! You're the one who just drew a fucking cock-tank or what ever the fuck. I need a fucking cigarette!” Said Jack, taking out a smoke and lighting it.

“Whatever man, lets just get the fuck out of here, go somewhere else, and open up this whiskey.”

“Best idea I've heard all fucking night” Said Jack
We all grab our shit and leave. Holy fuck it got dark fast.

We drunkenly wonder the streets of boulder, singing songs, making noise, talkin' shit at passers by. So far, the night has been going great, and it's only gonna get better.

“Hey guys, lets find an alley, kill this whiskey, smoke a few bowls, get piss drunk, and pass out somewhere” Jack suggested, lighting another smoke

“Sounds like a plan”

“Well, that alley looks fine to me” Said Athena, pointing toward the alley the housed the strip club and all the poor bastards who occupy the place.

Just as were entering the alley, I find a half pack of smokes on the ground. “Well, that sucks huge balls for this person, but too fucking bad.” I light one up, oh sweet cancer.

“Lucky bastard” Said Jack in a playful tone
We find a good spot and I get the whiskey bottle out of my bag, crack the seal and take a large shot. Ahhh, cheap whiskey, it's fun that burns the whole way down. We sit in the alley for a while. We're all pretty smashed at this point. Yep, fucking awesome night so far. Jack put on more music.

“I gotta piss, be right back” I didn't really walk to far, just to the dumpster across the alley.

When I get back, Athena is passed out drunk. Oh well, I've slept in this alley a lot, no one will bother us. I put the half bottle in my bag. Jack lit a cigarette.

“Jack, you already have a smoke going, how drunk are you?”

“Ffuckin' smashed, man” Said Jack, and instead of putting out the fresh cigarette, he simply began to smoke both at the same time. Now Im stating to feel sleepy. That dumpster is looking pretty fucking comfortable at this point, so I hop in. I poke my head back up “Yo Jack!”

“What?” Jack replied

“You crashin here, or goin back to the trailer park?”

“Yeah, tonights a trailer park night, and I gotta water my weed plants, I'll hit ya up in the morning” He said, getting up

“Cool, peace out man”

“Peace” Said Jack

I lay down and get comfortable among piles of cardboard. At least it was cardboard and not the nights food scraps. However, if that were the case... Free dinner.

I begin to drift off into a heavy drunken sleep.
** 3 am, same alley **

I am awoken by a bright light. Swearing loudly, I poke my head over the edge of my dumpster and see a homeless guy staring down the alley. I check the time.

“What in the fuck, it's 3 fucking AM!” I say to the guy. He replies, slurring from cheap hobo wine, “Hey buddy, did you just see a real bright light?”

“Fuck no, it woke me up! was that you? You drunk bastard, if that was you, I'll steal your fuckin' pants!”

“Fuck you man!” Yells the drunk, who then wanders off down the alley, so drunk he doesn't notice his cock is hangin' out. Well, obviously no him. Im not gonna fall back asleep, so I might as well drink the rest of this whiskey. I take the plastic KD bottle out of my bag and start chugging. After about nine shots, I stop and put it back in my bag.

There was another flash, thinking it's the cops, I book shit down the alley. More flashes, fuck.

“Fuck you, you fat pig bastards!” I yell, still thinking the cops are on my ass. Then a massive bang. Im thrown several yards, then pass out.

** Back in the hippie-tastic tree **

“What do you think it is?” Asked Rainbow Dash to Twilight

“I don't know, it must have been teleported here by accident. I've never seen or heard of any creature like this. It's wearing clothes, so I'm assuming it's intelligent. Maybe we should get Fluttershy, she will know what to do” Said Twilight, looking at the creature and scratching her head.

Rainbow was about to take off and get Fluttershy, when the creature stirred. Both of them just stared. Then it sat up, holding it's head in it's in... wait what? “Murrahh, fuck I'm hung over, gotta piss” I get up, not giving much of a fuck how I got inside some where. Damn, I must have been shit faced. Eyes half closed and groggy as hell, I walk down some stairs and out a door and outside to take a piss.

“What just happened?” Asked Rainbow

“I don't know, it's started speaking Equestrian and walked outside. We need to go see what it's up to. We don't need it to cause a panic.” Said Twilight, heading towards the stairs, Spike came running up to her.

“Twilight! An alien just walked down the stairs on two legs and went outside!” Yelled Spike, slightly panicked

“Did you see where it Went?” Asked twilight

“No” Replied Spike

“Enough standing around! Lets go find this, whatever it is!” Said Rainbow, flying out the door
I need to piss, goddamn, it's fucking bright as shit out here. Oh look, a yuppie ass garden, fuck these people, oh man, I'm still drunk. I stumble into the garden, not giving a fuck, I whip my cock out and start pissing in the garden. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeeeeaaahhh” That felt so good, ya know when you take like a minute long piss? Yeah.

“What is it doing!? Oh Celestia! It's urinating in my garden! Maybe it's not intelligent after all, any decent creature would know better.” Said Twilight, slightly annoyed

I heard someone insult me, and being drunk, I just yell “Yeah well fuck you and your yuppie ass
garden you fucking cock sucking piece of shit! Fuck you and your expensive ass house!” I yell, not even looking at the person insulting me. I zip my pants up and look around for this person and getting ready to fight a yuppie bastard. Well, this is surprise.....................“WHAT IN THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?! FUCK!” There are three fucking aliens staring at me. Oh satan the cuteness is sickening. The purple one is staring open mouthed, the blue one that looks like a rainbow threw up on a... ya know what fuck it. I stare back, not saying shit, oh man I'm still pretty drunk. Cigarette. “Uhhh, hi?” Asked the purple one. I continue to stare, light my smoke then reply, “What the fuck is this place? Who, no what the fuck are you?” I ask, calmly, even though I want to yell at this little purple unicorn thing.

Sorry, cliff hanger, up all night and I need sleep. Maybe this music will help sooth your rage.

Author's Note

Bonus point for catching the Terminator reference.