Vinnie's Equestrian Adventure

You are Vinnie, one of the most badass bounty hunters in Chicago alongside Kiro, the modern samurai whose brother you were accused of killing and Shorty, your smoking hot girlfriend. Together, the three of you had tracked Alonzo, an Italian mafia leader, all across the world and killed him once and for all.

Bastard deserved every bit of it. Even more so for grazing your awesome sunglasses with a bullet; money didn't grow on trees. Truth was, these sunglasses and you had been through everything together. From killing your cat for eviscerating your stuffed bear to crushing your Year 11 teacher to get out of school for half a month. In short, you had never took them off ever. Such is the life of a badass. But today, they weren't in sight anywhere. That was a problem, a really big problem.

"Kiro, have you seen my sunglasses?" You asked as you passed the former Yakuza member in the hallway of your safehouse.

Kiro and you weren't the best of friends when you met for the first time, but chasing an Italian mafia leader across the world solved that problem. He was kind of annoying at times, always poking fun at you for 'living in the past' and asking how old you were. For that remark, you told him to throw himself out the window of your car, along with a smile to tell him you weren't serious. But seriously, your car was not rundown! It was a collection piece, an original Shelby Mustang GT 500. Even if it was original, it could still beat that bike of his in a race any day.

Kiro turned to face you and recoiled slightly, like he had seen a ghost. His tone was curious as he spoke. "Vinnie, is that you?"

You gave him a deadpan stare and replied. "Yes, it's me. Now, where are my sunglasses?"

"You say that like I know where they are."

"Mostly because I suspect you took them."

Kiro took on an innocent look. "Now what would I do with your sunglasses, Vinnie? Riddle me that."

"Steal them to piss me off, for one. Ah, fuck it." You replied, waving a dismissive hand to actually look for your missing possession instead of accusing Kiro of stealing it.

After five minutes of turning the safehouse upside-down to find your awesome sunglasses, you were absentmindedly tugging at the cords of your grey hoodie. Suddenly, you spotted something silvery dangling inside of the hoodie's pouch. You grabbed the silvery object, pulling it out to find ... your sunglasses.

Well, You thought, slipping your sunglasses back on. At least I found them.

Your cellphone started ringing, interrupting the silence that had recently immersed the room. You reached into the pocket of your pants and retrieved it, hitting the green answer button and bringing it up to your ear.

"Hello, who's this?" You asked.

"Vinnie, it's Black Fox." The caller replied in a typical old voice.

Ah, right. Black Fox... he was the guy you hired to find Alonzo for you, after you slaughtered all of his guards in some slums in Chicago. Good times...

"Fox, my man! What's up?" You were in an exceptionally good mood, now that you found your awesome sunglasses.

"Vinnie..." You heard him sigh, announced by the crackling static in the receiver. "You've really stirred up the hornet's nest this time."

"What'd I do?" You asked, undettered by the grim mood he was giving off.

"That Alonzo business you dealt with has really stirred up some trouble. The Yakuza, the other organisations of the Italian mafia, even the Soviets are getting mixed up in this! And guess who their target is?"

"Me," You added solemnly, before snapping back to your usual egotistic self. "Relax, Fox! I've just got to tie up loose ends is all! A few hundred corpses should fix that right up!"

"Vinnie, listen. It's not that simple; you can't just rush headlong into trouble without thinking first."

"That's how I solve most of my problems, actually." You rubbed the back of your head, slightly confused.

You heard him sigh again and mutter. "How you're not dead, I'll never know..."

"Alright, deal with the big bad gangs. See ya later." You concluded, hitting the red button on your phone before returning it to your pocket.

Alright. If you were going to deal with these gangs, you needed to cut the head off the snake first. Probably make an anonymous call and lure them into a trap, yeah, that sounded good.

You had two Beretta 92S handguns on your person, as well as plenty of ammo if the need had arisen. After one anonymous phone call to the current leader of the Italian mafia, you quickly threw up your hood and bolted down to the arranged meeting place, an abandoned diner two streets down from the safehouse. While you waited for the idiots to arrive, you struck up a cigarette to pass the time. You sat on the concrete curb surrounding the diner, lowering your head to hide the fact you still had your sunglasses on. After a few minutes, you heard the sound of a car parking in the immediate area.

"You sure this is the right place?" A gravelly Italian voice asked.

"Of course it is, you incompetent fool! That anonymous tip told me Vinnie was here!" A more refined Italian voice replied angrily.

"But there's no-one here, except this bum." You knew he was referring to you, they were closer than you thought.

"But wh- Wait, a bum?"

You sprung up like a bat out of hell, drawing your dual Berettas as your hood flew back and revealed your smirking face.

"Surprise, motherfuckers!" You yelled, taking shots at the guy in the suit.

The two had barely time to react as you put four bullets in the suited man's head, causing him to stagger and fall down dead. Your remaining opponent reached for his own weapon, just in the nick of time as backup arrived: Yakuza members armed with katanas.

You shot your attacker in the leg while killing a few sword-wielding maniacs with clean headshots, causing the former to grip his leg and drop his handgun. With your main opponent partially dealt with, you turned your attention to the gang of Yakuza soldiers.

"Eat lead, you squinty-eyed fucks!" You shouted whilst gunning down six more of them.

There were still three more, including the gang leader now limping away. You quickly finished off the remaining two, hearing your guns click as they deliver their final shots. Being the professional you were, you quickly loaded two fresh magazines into your handguns and turned to deal with the gang leader. You saw him crawling away, trying to evade his fate.

That wouldn't do.

You holstered one of your handguns and quickly caught up with the fleeing man, turning him over and pressing your gun's barrel to his forehead.

You smiled maliciously as you spoke, a dark sense of humour present in your voice. "Any last words?"

"Go to he-" You cut his sentence off, with a bullet in the head.

The point-blank shot delivered a spurt of blood, staining your otherwise grey hoodie with blotches of red. Not like you cared.

You stood up, giving one final puff of your cigarette before throwing the burnt-out butt onto his corpse. For added insult to injury.

"Looks like you were cut off," You intoned, glancing over your sunglasses as you delivered the punch line. "By a bullet."

You were about to take off and call it a day when a warm aura grasped your body, a sort of warmth only felt on a nice, sunny day. You glanced down at your hand, now noticing it was wreaved in a faint golden aura.

"What. The. Fuck." You voiced your thoughts aloud, watching as the golden aura slowly encased your body.

As if by magic, you were lifted off the ground and suspended a few feet above it. A bright light flashed in your eyes, despite the protection your sunglasses provided, and you felt a slight tingling in your body as the flash subsided. Not so subtlely, you felt the aura release you and fall face-first into a stone floor. As your luck would have it, you heard no indication of your sunglasses breaking into a million pieces.

Good.

Dulled pain lanced through your body as you picked yourself, your Beretta 92S still clutched in your hand. Aside from the obvious, you seemed to have no wounds from your sudden ... whatever the hell that was. You looked up from the floor, panning your head around the place. Judging from all the stained glass windows and Roman-esque columns, you guessed you were in some kind of castle. You casually lit a cigarette while you wander through the large hallway, coming to a gilded door on the other side of the room.

"Nobody should be this rich," You commented, taking a puff of your cigarette as your hand glided over the seemingly counterfeit golden door. "Nobody except me, that is."

You attempted to push open the door, only for it to resist with the force of a tonne. Locked.

Well, time to smash some windows.

You wandered over to a random stained glass window depicting six multi-coloured horses, and shot it with your handgun. The glass shattered into a million tiny pieces, coming to rest on the marble floor as thousands of tiny coloured flecks.

Somebody's gonna be pissed. Oh well, serves them right for making expensive windows. Without stopping to think (which was something you didn't do often, that was more Kiro's forte), you stepped over the shattered glass and leapt down into some sort of fancy garden.

"What ... are you?" A regal voice asked from seemingly everywhere.