Vector was enjoying his nice day at home, drinking an ice cold colt-a-cola and watching the newest Wonderbolt air show on demand. He was a large white stallion with a red-and-black mane and red eyes.

"Ugh..." said Vector, "Spitfire always beats soarin'."

There was a kncok on the door, so Vector rose up to answer it. As he approached the door he could hear heavy breathing, like someone had corks up their nose. Vector opened the door to see the mail-pony holding a small package.

"Special Delivery for you Vector. How are you today?" Said the Mail-pony. Her name Was Derpy hooves and she had a yellow mane with grey fur. For some strange reason her cutie-mark was bubbles.

"Oh, thanks Derps." Said Vector happily. Derpy was so nice that Vector was always glad to see her. Vector signed for his package and and took it from derpy. He placed it on the floor by his couch.

"Hey, derpy," said Vector, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Said Derpy.

"Why is your cutie-mark a picture of bubbles if you are a mail-pony?" asked Vector

"Oh, that's easy silly!" said Derpy, "Mail uses bubble wrap!"

That just blew Vector's world. He needed to ponder this later. Vector said goodbye to Derpy and closed the door, deciding to open his package. The package was about the size of an X-Box, and it being around the time of his birthday Vector hoped it was.

"I love X boxes!" said Vector out loud as he began to open the box

He ripped open the package with his teeth and peered inside. Instead of an Xbox a stick of butter smashed against his face, blinding him and causing him to fall back onto his haunches. Batman jumped out of the box holding a beam katana, his eyes were wide with justice. (yeah, I don't know either.)

"THEN YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Batman as he lunged at Vector with the beam katana. Batman was no killer, so he hit Vector with the back of the laser-blade. This burned Vector across his stomach, not piercing him. Vector cried out in pain, only getting out a few seconds of screaming before his mouth was filled with flowers. Batman punched him in the face with an iron glove, making Vector swallow the bouquet.

Batman pulled out a pixeled pickaxe from his utility belt and beat Vector with it, braking several of Vector's ribs in the process. Vector made several muffled screams, the flowers stuck in his throat preventing him from making any loud sounds.

"OHMYGOODNESSWHATAREWEGOINGTODO?ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A SUPER-HAPPY-FUNNY-AWESOMETASTIC PARTY?????!!" Yelled pinkie pie as she was pulled from Batman's utility belt. How he got her in there only Batman and Alfred know.

Batman swung her down at the injured pony, cracking Pinkies head against Vectors. After several smacks pinkie was out cold and had a broken jaw, blood dripping from her mouth onto the carpet. Vector was still conscious and was crying for mercy, but as we ALL know, Batman doesn't give mercy.

Batman dildo-slapped Vector across his face, leaving a red imprint of a large shaft and balls. Vector was fading out of consciousness now. Batman pulled out a police baton and pummeled Vector with it, breaking several more bones in Vector's body. It was done.

Batman ran out of the door, only to find himself in front of Vector's friend Platinumflames. Platinum was shocked at the sight of Batman, providing Batman with enough time to pull out a cake holding several candles. He smashed this surprisingly-hard cake into Platinum's face, causing Platinum to fly backwards into an un-manned apple stand. Batman ran up to finish the job, not giving any mercy. Platinum was beaten into dark, cold unconsciousness with that wedding cake.

Batman's work was done. He pressed a button on his wrist, calling the bat-mobile. His amazing car rolled up, allowing Batman to jump in and drive away into the sunset.

Author's Note

a stick of butter
Hope you guys enjoyed this!! remember it's only a joke, no offense intended!

a beam katana
Flowers (GTA:San Andreas teach me they are deadly)
Iron Gloves
Minecraft Pickaxe
Pinkie pie (yes, hit them with pinkie pie)
Dildos
those police's sticks i dont remember the name of them = Vector Games

cake pummel a pony with cake = Platinumflames.