Spike and Barley in Equestria

After their stabbing contest, Spike and Barley were climbing the tower, killing any zombie ponies and mutated creatures in their way.

"Fuck, this tower is freakin' tall." Barley complained.

"Man, I feel like I've been walking forever. I don't think my lil'o boots can carry me anymore." Spike said. "Can I borrow yours?"

"What am I gonna wear?"

"You can wear my boots."

"No way, dude. You got that embarrassing foot odor. I don't want my feet smelling like shit for the rest of my life."

"Just a suggestion, man."

"Tell ya what." Barley started "When we kill David, and we get out of here, You can my boots for as long as you want."

"Really!? Thank you man!"

"On one condition." Barley continued "If you say I'm old, one more god damn time, I will seal your mouth shut with fused metal." He threatened "Then you will never have my boots."

"That's just cruel, man."

As Barley giggled at Spike's psychological torture, He looked up the stairs, noticing the ceiling getting closer with each step.

"Come on, not far now." He said.

Barley opened the trap door above him, and saw a long hallway, going in both directions. He climbed out, and helped his friend up.

"Alright, it seems like we gotta split up." He point down the hallway "Spike, you go that way, I'll go this way."

"Sure thing, man." Spike said, turning his flashlight on. With the power of his own sass, he began sliding down hall.

"I'll never understand that psychopath." Barley said.

Barley turned and began walking down the hallway, pointing his flashlight at anything that moved. As he walked, he saw a light at the end of hall. Remaining suspicious, he aimed his gun down the hallway and made his way towards the light. As he got closer, he began to take note of it's features.

It looked like a ghostly white pony, with black matted hair and torn clothing, trotting slowly down the hall.

"Madam, are you alright?" Asked Barley.

The ghostly white pony stopped, turned around, and began screaming at Barley. She moved at an unnaturally fast pace towards him, her her flowing behind her, revealing face of maggots and torn flesh.

"OH SHIT!"

Before Barley could turn and run, the pony caught up to him, and ripped him in half. When she was done, she let her hair fall back into place, and began wandering aimlessly.

Barley respawned back at the trapdoor. While checking to make sure both of his parts were connected, he heard Spike's voice on the radio.

"What the hell was that, man?" Spike said, in between giggles. "You die or something?"

"Yeah dude, some ghost grudge pony is stalking the halls-"

"DON'T FUCKIN' TELL ME THAT! Shit man, now I'm fucking paranoid."

"Are you still scared of that movie?"

Before Spike could answer, he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look, and saw something move around the corner.

"Dude, please tell me that was you."

"Was what me?"

"I just saw something go past the wall."

"I'm still back at the trapdoor, dude. Looks like you got the grudge pony near you."

"Shut the fuck up Barley, I'm not even kidding."

Spike heard Barley's loud, high pitched laugh through the mic, and through the hallway as well.

Spike took out his SMG, and slowly peeked around the corner. He saw the grudge pony walking the opposite way, and began to sneak up on her.

"HEY GRUDGE BITCH!"

When she turned around, Spike opened fire right in her face. She was still up, and moving towards him, but Spike was still firing, and each bullet forced her back another inch. Spike ran out of ammo, but not before the pony disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Spike relaxed when she disappeared, but immediately tensed up when he heard a voice in his head.

"Wrong target ... hehehe"

"Oh shit, their's more than one?" He said.

"What was that, man?" He heard over his radio.

"Dude, their's more than one grudge pony." He said. "And what's worse, I ran out of SMG ammo."

"I still got plenty." Barley said. "Let me find you, i'll give you some."

"You are such a generous friend." Said Spike. He turned and saw something on the ground. He picked it up, and it turned out to be his most favorite gun. "But I just found something better."

"Wait really? What'd you find?"

"A motherfuckin Tommy gun."

"No shit? Let me find you, I want one."

"Haha, sorry Barley, but their's onl-" Spike turned to look back on the ground, and found another Tommy, laying on the ground.

"Huh, weird." Spike thought, and turned back around to exit the dead end hallway.

"Mr. Man" Said Barley, standing right in front of Spike.

"OH MY FU- Jesus Barley, don't fuckin do that!" Spike screamed, smacking Barley with his flashlight.

Laughing, Barley walked past Spike and picked up the other machine gun.

"Anyway, have you been trying all these doors?" Barley asked. "The one's I keep running into are locked."

"Yeah, I haven't tried these doors though." Spike said. Surprise hit him when one of the doors was unlocked.

"Hey dude, let's go in here."

Barley next to Spike, he opened the door, and they saw a long red hallway leading to another door, bloody footsteps and hand prints all over the hallway.

"Shit man, why can't we over open a door with something nice in it?" Said Spike.

"The last time that happened, you tried to stab it to death."

"You talking about when he first got here? It was to make sure she wasn't a spy from David, man."

"I don't even think David could MAKE a spy zombie pony, let alone actually send one."

Spike and Barley walked through the hallway, and opened the door to reveal another grudge pony, standing in a circle of candles. Spike and Barley immediately shot it, the combined power of both machine gun's killing it quickly.

"Fuck yeah, that was awesome." Spike said as they began walking through the ring. "I bet we could take on a hundred of those things and still come out okay."

As if on cue, the walls in the bloody hallway opened, revealing it to be, in fact, 100 grudge ponies. All with black matted hair, all with maggoty torn flesh, and all of them looking directly at Spike and Barley.

"Spike" Barley began "When we get home, I am going to take the biggest set of hedge trimmers I can possibly find, and CUT OFF YOUR JAW!"

With that, the grudge ponies began screaming and chasing Spike and Barley through the darkness. Spike summoned his sass once again and slid his way to the dim light at the end of the darkness.

"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THAT, SPIKE!?" Screamed Barley, starting to feel tired.

"YOU GOTTA USE THE POWER OF SASS, MAN!"

"FUCK YOU, SPIKE!"

Out of the darkness, other monsters began to appear, some pony, some human, others were just monstrosities and all of them chasing the paranormal investigators.

"BARLEY, I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA SURVIVE THIS ONE!"

"WE WILL MAKE IT, SPIKE! I PLAN ON DOING MORE WITH MY LIFE THAN JUST DYING IN SOME LITTLE GIRLS CARTOON!"

"YOU CALL THIS A GIRLS CARTOON!?" Spike gestured behind him, sliding backwards.

"WHATEVER SPIKE, WE'RE ALMOST THERE!"

Spike slid in the brightly lit, slim hallway, while Barley jumped in, the door closing behind them. Spike and Barley collapsed on the floor, listening to the monsters bang on the metal door, hoping they couldn't break it down.

"That 'pant' was the most 'pant' fucked up thing I've 'pant' ever had to endure."

Spike, panting as well, nodded in agreement.

After several minutes, Spike and Barley got off the floor, and began walking down the hallway.

"It looks like this hallway goes on forever." Mentioned Barley.

"I know, dude. You wanna go back and see if the pathway changed?"

"No way, Spike." Barley looked behind him "I wanna get as far away from that door as possible." He turned back around ... and smacked right into another door.

Spike giggled at poor Barley, rubbing his nose in pain.

"Shut up, Spike. Let's just see what's behind this door."

Barley opened the door, and inside was a round metal cage, covered in blood. In the middle was a giant pillar.

Spike and Barley walked in the room, and the door closed behind them. The giant pillar began to descend, Spike and Barley aimed their weapons at the lowering pillar. Finally the pillar stopped, and on it was David Leatherhoff.