Hiding behind a smile

I knocked again, hoping she would hear me this time "Twilight! Open up already it's cold out here!"

Right after that I heard "Spike, could you get that?"

I've been standing in front of the library's entrance for no longer that 5 minutes but it

felt like an eternity to me and now someone would finally open the door!

To my surprise a baby dragon opened the door for me, he had the same colors as

Twilight except some of the parts on him were green. The baby dragon spoke

"Oh... you must be Nate?"

I smiled at him "Yes I am, and you must be Spike!"

"yeah how do you... umm.. come right in! Twilight is busy with something but.. I'll tell her you're here"

I could already tell that Spike was nervous to see a human, but he acted like he just saw a serial killer.

I went inside and closed the door behind me, I was stunned at the sight! I never knew that a library could look so nice... and it was Twilight's home!

Spike spoke again "umm... make yourself comfortable, I'll go get her now."

I simply replied "yea sure." and sat down on a wooden chair while admiring the place.

Very soon I started drifting off into my thoughts again and forget about everything around me, It was so frequent that I have actually gotten used to it. I would just stare into space and think about my life, my situation, my past actions, what my future actions should be and so on. I was told by Twilight to come to her place so I could help her with something but that currently wasn't on my mind, no instead I was thinking of... what makes me happy... I haven't been in a good mood for a long while now.

Spike returned and nervously told me "She's coming now... haha"

I quickly jumped back into reality and turned to him, which made Spike froze in place.

Oh great, if Twilight finds him like this then she will try to calm him down by telling him everything about me and I will have to sit through it and then I will -never- leave! So I guess I should cut down time by calming him down myself?

"Look Spike, you don't.."

I stopped and realized that he was paralyzed, I sighed and continued "I don't bite, Spike. Why are you acting so scared?"

"S-scared?" The scared dragon spoke "I'm.. I'm not scared! I'm just.. umm"

he paused and started to play with his fingers, trying to find something to say.

"Save the white lies, I can read right though them haha!" I smiled.

It's kind of extreme to tell someone who's scared of you that you're a lie detector but at least I'm being honest with him and at the same time forcing him to be honest with me and I'm putting on a smile, that should make me earn his trust.

"come on you can tell me, what's so scary about me?"

Spike was still playing with his fingers near his face but he looked at me and said "well... Twilight never said you were tall as the princess of the night..."

Great! A baby dragon is comparing me to a princess, and I have to take it as a compliment "How is being tall scary?" I asked him with a puzzled look on my face

"I dunno... I never saw a human before in my entire life"

"yes you did"

"when?"

"Just now"

"Hahahaha!"

Twilight and Rarity showed up from the other room looking happy as always, Twilight turned to me and said

"Oh Nate! I'm so grad you're here!"

then Rarity continued "Yes I really do not know who else I could turn to"

I looked at both of them with suspicion. Twilight noticed I was catching on, It was obvious she started to feel guilty since she was looking around nervously.

What's going on? The girls are acting surprised I even showed up, and Twilight never told me Rarity would be here... and Rarity has no one else to.. turn.. oh fuck. I'm going to have to do something no one else wants to do and it's for Rarity! I. Hate. Rarity.

Twilight turned to Rarity with guilt.

Rarity started  talking "I have some good and bad news, dear"

Let me guess, the bad news are probably the good news to me and vice versa

"You see I've been given an opportunity to move to Canterlot to finally expand my business!"

"That's great!" I encouraged her

"Yes well, the bad news are I wont be around."

Yes! I was right! The bad news is that she is moving for good? Hah! I for one am happy that I'll never get to see her face again, for some reason I just.. I just don't like her! Even if she's been making me clothes for the last few months I always hated her to no end. I was so lost in deep thought I haven't even noticed that Twilight was closing in on me. All I could think of was how much quiet it will be once Rarity leaves!

"Nate!!"

"Wha??" I turned to Twilight who was now standing like half a meter away from me, she had a disappointed look on her face. I looked around to see Spike on his knees begging Rarity to stay

"You can't leave Rarity! You mean the whole world to me!!"

She gave him a hug and said to him "Oooohh, I'm sorry sweetie. I promise you I'll visit as often as I can!"

Twilight suddenly took a hoofstep closer to me "Aren't you going to say anything!?"

That's right! I've been spacing out recently and I haven't told her about that yet so it's no surprise that she is pissed at me!

"I'm sorry Twilight I just... "

She was looking angry so I don't think it's a good idea to talk to her right now so I turned to Rarity "Rarity? How can you just leave like that? Is your business really more important than friendship?"

I asked her showing concern for her, she barely turned to me as Spike was hugging her so tightly

"Oh don't worry about me darling, it's not like I'm abandoning all my friends..." She turned to Spike "aww I promise you Spiky I'll visit you as often as possible"

I then replied "well ok then Rarity... it's just unlike you."

Before I could say anything else, something crashed in the other room which Rarity quickly responded to "Oh nononono! I was afraid that would happen!"

the two mares galloped into the other room and Spike and I followed them. What we saw was a room full of clothes, lots and lots of clothes. Twilight then started getting teary eyed "Oh no!"

"Umm... is this what you've been busy with Twilight?" I asked the sad purple pony.

She turned to me and started talking, you could clearly pick up the sadness in her voice

"I'm so sorry Nate, I wanted to do something for you for a change"

I raised an eyebrow in confusion

"You see, you're this nice person that would help anypony with anything! A person that everypony likes because you are always there for them and now I'm about to make you carry all of these clothes to Fluttershy's cottage and... I thought the least I could do is make them fit in a small backpack or something"After that there was a pause.

I was the one to break the silence "haha that's alright Twilight! Come on, let's all clear the room together and don't bother fitting it in a small backpack, I'm fine with whatever"

Before I knew it I was in the corner sitting in a pile of clothes thinking about stuff again. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so empty? No never mind that, I shouldn't be asking myself why, I should be asking myself how! How do I stop feeling like this? I guess the obvious course of action would be to find myself some amusement but... what do I like? I am known as the number one helper in Ponyville, everyone.. I mean everypony knows me as the most nicest, most happiest, optimistic and generous person in Ponyville but... what do they really know about me?

They have no idea how I actually feel. Hell, I don't feel anything, only boredom. And this boredom has been with me for way too long! The only thing that was keeping me from boredom was the fact that I was faking my identity and personality but, now it's... it's just not a challenge anymore!

I need something new! I can't damage my reputation but I need to do something extreme.. something terrible but.. without damaging my reputation!! BUT WHAT!!?

"Umm... Nate?"

"Huh??" I snapped back into reality by Spike's words!

I found myself cornered and Spike was in front of me, we were both staring at each other the Spike broke the silence

"You know this is like the third time you spaced out, right? What's wrong?"

I broke eye contact and just muffled "I miss trance"

Ehhh..." Spike freaked out and started backing away "I... didn't knew humans like to space out"

I looked at him with an annoyed, yet puzzled look "No! I was referring to a type or music, silly dragon!"

"Oh!" He seemed relieved.

"Ugh! Could somepony help me?" Rarity angrily shouted across the room, she was buried in a pile of dresses, she was completely stuck and couldn't move at all!

"I can just use my magic and cut though the dresses" Twilight said happily

"DON'T YOU DARE!!" Rarity started using her angry voice "I'll have you know I've worked my flank off just to get this-"

I spaced out again.

I started smiling at the thought that Rarity was suffering, she is trapped and can't move. Hmm... this is actually something that makes me smile! But it's not just because it's Rarity, is it? I've always hated her but if I try to picture another pony in her situation, or a similar situation, would that also force a smile on my face?

WAIT! Is this really what I'm thinking? Am I really trying to see if ponies in pain would make me feel better? It's wrong!

Then again... it's pretty much is the only thing that ever made me smile. Hmm... so why not? I deserve to be happy! NO! It's wrong! Also, I'm not sure how much I'm capable of hurting an innocent pony! I've never done it before!

"Hold on Rarity! I'll get you out!" Spike shouted and went running towards her. His sudden shout forced me to break my train of though and look at what was happening,

I started grinning at the situation. Rarity was trapped in her own clothing and she was starting to cry! Twilight and Spike had no idea how to get her out.. and... how the hell do you even get stuck like that anyway!? Never mind that, I was now grinning so much I was showing my teeth!

At least I'll have something to remember her by, something that will put a smile on my face for every time I think of her. I guess I should go and help her... after all that's what I 'love' to do.

The sooner I get her out the sooner I get to take all of these clothes to Fluttershy and the sooner I do that the sooner I get to go home and I'll finally have time for myself to space out again and think about doing something that I find 'fun'.