New World Blues

Throughout her time in the Mojave Wasteland, The Courier had learnt many things, everything from the simple stuff like “don’t drink from heavily irradiated water sources” to some more advanced techniques, things like the weakest point on a Deathclaw’s body.

But one thing she had taught herself over many months was a series of muscle movements that, if she ever felt someone else reaching for her sidearm while she was asleep or otherwise incapacitated, would grab the offending party’s wrist, and deliver a clean punch to their face, giving her time to reach for her gun, and paint the walls an interesting new colour called “Hint of Brain”.

She had tried to refine it to the point where she could land the punch on her opponent’s windpipe, but hadn’t quite managed that yet. Still, it was an effective technique, and absolutely vital for any sort of camping trip, Bandits were more of a pain in the arse than forgetting the tent pegs.

                                                                                         ---NWB---

After the triple fainting session, Spike had called all available hooves to deck, eventually being able to gather Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash at the Golden Oaks library.

Rarity was too busy sewing a dress that she had described as “Just too important, darling” -element of generosity my arse- and Applejack had started making her explanation to Spike, but he had tuned out after the word “Apples”.

And it totally wasn’t like I just don’t feel like writing those two right now... or anything.

Pinkie Pie had just been hopping around Ponyville, looking for something to do, so she was easy to convince, and of course Fluttershy, being Fluttershy, said yes as soon as he mentioned Twilight possibly being hurt.

Rainbow Dash was slightly harder to convince, as she had been doing flight training, but Spike had won her over by saying that:

“Leaving Twilight hanging would be totally uncool”

And it was that very same cerulean pegasus that was now staring at the two prone bipedal figures, having lost all interest in her passed out friend when she saw the two -to use her own words- “Badass robot thingies”.

“I’ve never seen anything like them!”

The pegasus raved.

“I mean... are they like robot Diamond Dogs or something?”

Fluttershy was still fussing over Twilight, having been put into “nurturing mode” as soon as she walked in the bedroom door, now feeling her forehead with her hoof for the twenty second time.

“Just to be safe”

She had said.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too... until they fainted simultaneously”

Spike huffed, still upset that he didn’t get to meet any superheroes. Rainbow Dash, completely enthralled by the strange things

 on the beings hips, was now reaching for one of them.

“Hmm, I wonder what thes-”

*crack*

“AAAAHHH! OH LUNA ON A TRICYCLE, THAT THING JUST BROKE MY FEATHERING SNOUT!”

The cerulean pegasus was sent flying back, as The Courier reached for her submachine gun.

And paused.

And looked at the current occupants of the room.

She dropped the gun in shock.

While Fluttershy had gone to attend to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie was just staring at her, bright blue eyes wide, focused, but most importantly, unmistakably intelligent.

“H-Hello?”

She tested the waters with a simple greeting.

Pinkie’s normally cheerful face pulled itself into a scowl.

“That wasn’t very nice!”

The Courier was then in the uncomfortable position of having to admit that having a bright pink horse scald her for her behaviour, wasn’t actually the strangest thing she had ever seen or heard.

“Uh... sorry, I guess”

She offered weakly.

“You sure as hay better be sorry, you just broke my friend’s snout!”

The Courier had done far, far worse things to people than breaking their noses (or snouts, as the case may be), but now that she was being berated by this small pink equine, she felt genuinely sorry.

“Urgggggh”

She heard a small groan from beside her before she could attempt another apology (she had injured an innocent, after all).

“I was having the strangest dream, Courier, you were there... and there was this weird purple horse... thing, ‘cept it had wings, ya see, and this really long horn”

It seemed that Veronica had finally regained consciousness.

“Hehe... the thing is Ronnie... that... well... that wasn’t a dream”

Explained The Courier nervously.

“WHAT!?”

Veronica had gone from lying down with her eyes closed, to sitting up with eyes wide in about half a second. She regretted that decision almost as soon as she made it.

“Oh sweet lord my head...”

Pinkie Pie glared at them both with mistrust.

“I don’t know who or what you two are, but you broke Dashie’s snout, so I’m keeping an eye on you!”

She warned, her eye actually bulging out of it’s socket and pressing against The Courier’s face, shrinking back after a moment.

The texture was none too pleasant.

But The Courier seemed unphased, Veronica, however was practically in a state of shock.

“B-but... how did you do that? You shouldn’t have an eyeball right now! I-it should have popped... or something”

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Fluttershy was fussing over Dash’s broken snout.

“Oh! You poor thing, are you ok”

“Ok? OK!? THAT FEATHERING FEATHER OF A FEATHER JUST FEATHERING BROKE MY SNOUT!”

Fluttershy backed away from her injured friend momentarily, but remembered she had to do something for her friend.

That something, unfortunately, was resetting her nose.

Without anything to dull the pain... this was going to be unpleasant.

She grabbed hold of her friend’s snout quickly, better to get it done before she had time to think about it.

*crick*

“OH SWEET SWEET CELESTIA!!!”

Another cry of pain came from her rainbow maned associate.

It was that cry that finally roused Twilight.