With A Little Help From My Friends

DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!! DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!! DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!! TIME TO GET UP!! DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!!

What… Where… Who… Oh for fuck’s sake, that’s you. Not my alarm.

Ahh, I love doing that to you. You’re so easy to wake up! So gullible too, Jesus Christ, how many times are you gonna shock yourself awake to that when you know you don’t own an alarm clock? Especially one that’s so awesome that you can record yourself shouting ‘DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING’ and wake up to a loop of it?

Fuck you man. I was sleeping soundly.

I opened my eyes and looked around. The sun’s shining bright, as per usual. I swear; it hardly ever rains around here. I guess that’s because it doesn’t really need to. Plants must grow with less water here or something. I look over to the clock; the long hand is almost on the four and the short hand a little past the one. I decide to skip deciphering this incredibly difficult puzzle that requires the CIA’s top cryptologists and twenty million dollars’ worth of research equipment to figure out and got out of bed.

Upon reaching the kitchen downstairs, I notice the house is considerably quiet. I suppose it’s a nice change for now. This place isn’t quiet too often, so I enjoy it while it lasts.

“OWNED!! OWNED IN YOUR STUPID FACE!! AHAHAHAHA!!!” I hear Matt shout from downstairs.

So much for quiet…

“Oh shut up, Matt.” Paul replied “Remember who won the past ten matches?”

“Don’t give a fuck. I just don’t.” Matt said flatly as he walked into the kitchen with Paul just behind him.

“Hey Jimmy, when’d you wake up?” Paul asked.

“Literally moments ago, what’re you guys doing that’s got Matt yelling something about owning your stupid face?” I replied.

“Smash Bros.” Matt replied simply.

Whaaaaaaaat?

“Which one?”

“Brawl.”

How…

“One of you has a computer good enough for an emulator of that game?” I asked.

“Nah, Paul’s got his Wii with him.” Matt replied pointing a thumb to Paul.

“Buh… You need a TV-”

“Vinyl and Octy bought one a little while ago.” Paul replied “I thought they told you.”

“Nah, I didn’t hear about it.” I said “So, I’m guessing you’re winning then?”

“Of course he is.” Matt said with a hint of anger in his voice.

“Well, I’ll come join you in a minute. Gotta go to the bathroom.” I replied as I exited the kitchen and headed upstairs.

I splashed some water on my face from the sink trying to wake myself up a bit. Last night was certainly a trip. That nightmare was flat-out disturbing. I had an odd feeling this wasn’t going to be the end of my nightmares. I recalled the state I was in when Luna came into my room. I knew I was awake, but my fear was amplified and amplified greatly. I suppose it was understandable, considering the nature of the nightmare.

“Well, at least Luna came to calm me down.” I said out loud as I turned off the sink.

“Hello Jimmy!” I heard Luna’s voice say cheerfully. I jumped in fright as I looked around the bathroom to find Luna standing to my right with a wide smile on her face.

GODDAMNIT NIGHT PRINCESS PONY OUTTA FUCKING NOWHERE!!

“Luna? What are you doing here?” I asked upon gaining my composure.

“You are performing today, are you not?” She asked.

“Yeah, I am, why?”

“Well, I wanted to come see you! I asked Tia if she would raise the moon tonight so I could spend some time with you and she said okay! Isn’t that wonderful?” She replied happily.

She totally wants the dick.

Oh fuck off.

“Yeah, that’s really cool.” I replied.

Why the hell did I say that so flatly?

. . .

Okay, don’t answer me then.

“So, erm, yeah, let’s get out of the bathroom then.” I said as I opened the door for Luna. She walked outside and I followed. I then took point and guided Luna down the two flights of stairs into the basement and opened the door to Vinyl and Octy’s apartment.

The apartment was dimly lit, only the TV provided a bit of light in the apartment. Directly across from the door was a king-sized bed upon which sat Octavia. On the carpeted floor sat Vinyl, Matt and Paul who were crowded around in front of the TV with controllers in hand or levitated by magic.

“Hey guys. We’ve got a guest.” I said as the current match paused and everypony looked away from the screen towards the doorway where Luna and I stood. Octavia suddenly sprang off the bed and onto the floor and bowed to Luna.

“Hey Luna”

“Sup Luna?”

“How’s it goin’?”

Were the only responses from Paul, Matt and Vinyl respectively as they unpaused the match and continued playing.

“What are you all doing?! This is your princess here! Show some respect!” Octavia snapped.

“It is alright Miss Octavia.” Said Luna “For you all, it is acceptable for you to use casual greetings rather than formal. I do not mind.”

“Hmph.” Octavia pouted as she sat back on the bed and folded her hooves.

“Pray tell, what is it you three are doing?” Luna asked as she looked to the two humans and unicorn sitting around the television.

“Playing a video game, wanna play with us?” Matt replied.

“Hey Octy, why aren’t you playing?” I asked her.

“Really Jimmy? Take a guess.” She replied with a bitter tone.

“Hooves, man. Hooves.” Paul stated.

“Oh… Right. Sorry Octy.” I said with obvious embarrassment in my voice.

Dumb fuck.

“How does one play this video game?” Luna asked as she sat down on the floor with the others.

“Oh, it’s pretty easy, grab a controller; I’ll walk you through the controls once this match is done.” Matt said as he pointed with one hand to the last available Gamecube controller. Luna levitated it closer to her and examined it thoroughly.

The stage they were playing on was the Battlefield level. They were playing a stock match.

Good, I fucking hate timed matches.

On the screen was a version of Fox McCloud with a green jacket that stood on the right-most platform and was kicking a regular colour scheme of Ike into the air while a red Kirby attempted to get close to the very agile Fox who simply sent Kirby flying back to the other side of the stage. I guessed that Fox was played by Paul as Fox was the only one who had not lost a life yet. Ike was most certainly Matt as he hardly ever played a character that didn’t have some kind of weaponry at their disposal leaving Kirby who must be Vinyl. The brawl only lasted about two more minutes with Paul emerging as the victor in yet another match with Vinyl in second place and Matt in third.

“Goddamn it Vinyl! I still can’t believe you lasted longer than me!” Matt complained as he stood up.

“I bet this isn’t the only thing I last longer than you at.” Vinyl replied with a grin while adjusting her shades.

“Oh shut up! You’re a girl; you’re supposed to last longer!”

“Ho ho, you clearly don’t have enough experience with females to know the truth about that.” Vinyl replied with an even wider grin this time.

“I am not sure I understand your expression, Miss Scratch.” Luna stated.

Oh boy.

“Well you see Luna, th-”

“LUNAAAA! LET’S GET YOU LEARNING HOW TO PLAY THE GAME!” Matt interrupted before Vinyl could start explaining the joke to Luna.

Hm, socially retarded Luna is retarded I see.

You try being on the moon for a thousand friggin’ years and see how well you fit into society afterwards.

Nah man, that’s flat out retarded. That was a basic sex joke, come on.

Maybe she’s just naïve?

Really? You of all people think that she is naïve?

… You have a point.

Matt sat down next to Luna and took the controller she was levitating into one hand. Luna watched carefully as Matt pointed to each button and joystick on the controller as he explained what each did.

“… So basically, it’s the same kind of controls as when you played Super Smash Bros with me back in Canterlot.” Matt stated “Like moving the control stick in a certain direction at the same time as tapping the button in order to do different attacks and such.”

Canthurrdurr?

“In Canterlot?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, I played an emulator of SSB with Luna one night in Canterlot.” Matt replied.

“And you didn’t invite me? I’m sad now.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Matt replied as he stood back up and walked over to his previous spot next to Paul.

Chh, nice.

“So Luna, how badly did you beat Matt back in Canterlot?” I asked.

“I was sore after the first couple matches against her.” Matt replied before Luna could. She giggled.

“Yes, after our first two matches, I was able to defeat Matt quite successfully in the next rounds.” She said with a smile.

“Well, let’s see how you do against Paul and Vinyl.” Matt stated.

“Hey, why don’t you guys do teams?” I asked.

“Hmm? Teams? Why?” Paul asked.

“Might be fun, just go Luna and Matt against you and Vinyl and see what happens.” I replied.

“Sounds good.” Matt stated as he moved his blue-tinted cursor on the screen to the upper left corner, producing a flag with a colour on each of the player’s character choices as well as changing the character’s colour to suit their team.

“Umm, Jimmy? There are so many characters… Which one do I pick?” Luna asked. Suddenly Matt perked up.

“NOW, LUNA MY DEAR, I CANNOT EXPRESS MY DELIGHT~! IT’S ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, THAT SOMEWHERE OUT HERE IS A CHARACTER THAT SUITS YOU JUST RIGHT~!” Matt sang loudly.

… What in the flying blueberry fu-

“I can’t wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules~, it’s of the utmost importance the character I pick, is someone who’s mighty and strong~” Luna sang in reply. Paul and Matt looked to Luna with their mouths agape. Vinyl lowered her shades slightly to look at Luna as well. I wasn’t sure what Octavia was doing however. She probably just wanted the match to start.

As I was saying, what in the flying blueberry fuck muffins is going on?

… I don’t even know what the hell’s going on man…

MUFFINS?!?!

What the hell?! Who the fuck said that?!

MEEEE!!

Derpy?! Ho-

Can I have muffins?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BRAIN?!

More importantly, WHAT IS SHE DOING IN MINE?!

I don’t really know… Oh, gotta go, Carrot Top’s home, bye bye Jimmy!

What the… Derpy? You still there?

. . .

She’s gone.

I d-… What the fuck. Simply, just, what the fuck.

I’m as surprised as you; don’t even ask me about Derpy, bro…

“Oh man, that was awesome, where’d you learn that song?” Matt asked Luna.

“Celestia sometimes gives me the friendship reports that Twilight and her friends send me, that song was included in one of them.”

“Music… In a friendship report?” Matt asked.

“It’s magic, bitch. She ain’t gotta explain shit.” Paul replied. Matt stopped himself before replying, simply giving a shrug instead and picked Marth as his character, changing his team to blue instead of red.

“Should I stick with someone I know then?” Luna asked.

“I suppose, yes. Go Link, we’ll kick their asses.” Matt replied. Luna nodded and picked Link after changing her team’s colour to blue. Vinyl and Paul chose red team and then their characters of Mario and Fox respectively.

“You played Fox last round!” Matt yells.

“So?” Paul replies. Matt grumbles, knowing that his chances were even slimmer since Paul was using Fox again and presses start.

“My turn to pick the stage!” Vinyl shouts before anyone else could pick. She moves the cursor over the many stages to pick from. After a few moments, she toggles the stage select from the Brawl stages to the Melee stages and picks the Hyrule Temple stage.

“THREE!! TWO!! ONE!! GO!!” Shouted the narrator as the match began and the characters appeared one-by-one on the stage and burst into action the second he said ‘GO!!’.

Hey… Hey Jimmy…

Hm? What? I’m trying to watch Luna kick some ass, what is it?

Remember when Luna practically threw herself at you and you turned her down?

Oh fuck off, not right now.

Well I do; ohhhh yesssss… I see that clear as day… You were being such a bitch that day…

Man just sh-

Oh, I tell you, I bet she thinks you’re a total faggot now… Her, Vinyl, Octavia, even Matt and Paul… You know, rejecting pussy and all that…

Go fuck yourself up the a-

Oh, but you’d like that, wouldn’t you? I know you would…

Just fuck off!

Why? Too ashamed?

“COME ON LUNA!! KICK HIS ASS!!” Matt shouted, managing to completely derail my train of thought. I shook my head and looked towards the screen where a blue clothed Link and Fox wearing a red jacket were jumping around the stage attempting to deal a strong enough blow to knock each other off.

“Jimmy, are you all right?” Octavia asked “You look a bit shaken up.”

“I’m… I’m… Fine.” I replied.

Liar.

“Really, don’t worry…”

Liar.

“Just got lost in thought.”

Pants on fire.

“Come on; let’s get out of here for a bit.” I said as I motioned to Octavia with my hand to follow me. She hopped off the bed and followed me out of the basement apartment. As I closed the door behind us, loud shouts erupted from inside. From what I could tell, the shouts did not include Luna’s voice. Her voice certainly would have stood out if she had joined in. I opened the door to the studio and walked inside with Octavia.

“Well, now that we’re away from them, you can tell me what’s wrong.” She asked.

“Really, nothing’s wrong Octy.” I replied as I walked over to where my guitar leaned against a chair in the center of the room.

You fucking liar.

“Jimmy, I can tell something’s happening with you, can you please just tell me?” She asks again.

Listen to me…

“I promise I wo-”

“Listen to me!” I snapped, interrupting her plea.

I have absolutely nothing…

“I have absolutely nothing…”

To say to you about me.

“To say to you about me.” Octavia looked shocked and hurt.

“Now, we have a fucking show to practice for tonight. You idiots are off playing video games when we haven’t played any music together in nearly a week, I thought maybe you out of everyone would realise that and actually practice! But it looks like I was fuckin’ wrong about that, doesn’t it!?” I shouted angrily.

“I’m… Sorry…” Octavia replied quietly with her head hung low.

“Now, if you’re just here to continue pestering me about what’s supposedly wrong with me, I’ll just say there’s a whole LOT wrong, and tell you to leave unless you plan on rehearsing for tonight.” I stated as I sat down on the chair and picked up my guitar. Octavia looked at me with wide eyes that were swelling with tears.

“I… I’m just…” Was all she was able to utter before rushing out the door and slamming it behind her. I did not care for her leaving. I simply sat quietly and tuned my guitar.

Well what the fuck was all that for, dipshit?

What?! Excuse me?! Are you mad?! You’re the one wh-

Who actually said it?

Bu-

Who. Actually. Said. It?

Me, bu-

That’s all that matters. You did it.

I… Oh man… Octavia… Shittttt…

Yeah, you really fucked up there, didn’t you? Anyway, she shouldn’t come with y’all to the bar tonight.

What? W-

She’s not coming with you.

Well what if she wants to?

She won’t want to go anywhere with you.

Well no shit! Considering what you just m-

YOU. SAID. IT.

Yeah! And you’re a part of me! So it’s your f-

What’s my fault?

Wh-

NOTHING IS MY FAULT. IT’S YOU. IT’S ALL YOU. IT’S ALWAYS YOU.

B-

WHEN WILL YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?

I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t even recall why I was in the studio to begin with. I put down the guitar a little more roughly than I usually would have and stormed out of the studio. From the basement apartment I could still hear cheers and yells, telling me the gaming hadn’t stopped. It also meant Octavia didn’t go back in, or she did and none of them cared to acknowledge her. Both situations were equally possible. I headed upstairs to my room, not bothering to look around to see if Octavia was still in the house. Upon reaching my room, I slammed the door behind me.

I woke up. I was lying on my stomach across my bed. I lifted myself up slowly and sat up at the edge of my bed. I rubbed my face with my hands. After a few moments, I looked out the window, from what I could tell, it looked like morning.

That was one hell of a dream.

What dream?

I had a dream that Matt and Paul had a Wii here and they were playing Brawl with Luna and Vinyl. Then suddenly I was yelling at Octavia about something… I felt really bad about it after…

Really? Well…

Yeah, it was weird…

Say, who’s that lounging in your bed?

In my bed? Wha…?

I looked behind me to see a large lump in the bed. As I followed the lump to the head of the bed, I noticed it was rather large.

“Oh fuck…” I said as I looked to the head of the bed to see Luna’s head resting on a pillow.

“Well, I guess she must have slept over after she came to calm me down last night… Right?” I asked myself nervously.

She left after she calmed you down, remember?

“Well I guess she came back then.” I replied.

You went downstairs and talked to Vinyl after she left.

“So? Doesn’t mean she…”

You came back upstairs and went to sleep and there was no one else in your bed.

“May… Maybe… Maybe she…”

You woke up yesterday afternoon and went downstairs to hear about how Paul had his Wii here and how Vinyl and Octavia had bought a TV recently. You followed them downstairs after going to the bathroom where you found Luna.

“… No… No… I…”

After watching Luna get set up to play Brawl, you went into the studio with Octavia…

“No…”

You got angry with her…

“I did no such thing…”

You yelled at her…

“I did not…”

She left the studio crying because of what you said to her…

“SHUT UP!!” I yelled “JUST SHUT UP!!”

“Jimmy?” I heard Luna’s voice call “Are you alright?” She asked as she got out of the bed and looked over to me.

“Luna, Luna, tell me what happened last night.” I asked her as I jumped across the bed onto her side and looked her straight in the eyes. Her expression showed a great deal of confusion.

“Jimmy, are y-”

“Luna, please just tell me what happened last night as of when we left for the Clop Bar! If we even went, please!” I pleaded.

“Well, if you insist…” She said taking a seat on the bed next to me.

What must have been the next hour was spent revisiting the events of last night. With every word Luna spoke, my memory of the night before came back in full force.

“So, let me get this all straight…”

It was around nine o’clock that I had finally emerged from my room after my outburst towards Octavia. I headed downstairs to find our instruments sitting in the foyer ready for transport.

Well that’s nice of the lazy fuckers.

I opened the guitar case and examined the guitar closely to make sure the bastards hadn’t gotten any scratches or smudges on my instrument. There was going to be hell to pay if there was. Luckily for them, there weren’t either of the aforementioned impurities other than the small nick on the headstock I had caused nearly a year before. I heard footsteps approaching from the living room. I closed the case and turned around to find Paul standing in the entrance.

“Hey Jimmy, you ready to go?” Paul asked cheerfully. I scoffed.

“Of course I’m ready, why else would I be down here?” I snapped in reply, Paul looked at me in confusion.

“Uhh… You okay? You seem a little edgy.” He asked.

I’ve had enough of this incessant questioning. That’s all these people seem to care about, feelings. Pathetic.

“Where are the others? We have to leave soon.” I replied dodging the silly question.

“They should be along in a minute.” He replied after a moment’s hesitation.

“Good.” I replied as I knelt down and checked my effects pedal to make sure no one had moved any of the knobs.

Of course the fuckin’ reverb’s been changed… Oh look, my overdrive’s at maximum too…

I turned my reverb to the zero position and the overdrive level to just over the halfway point. I looked over to the rest of the instruments and equipment and realised something was missing.

“Where’s the cello?” I asked.

“Oh, Octavia’s not feeling well.” Paul replied “She’s gonna stay home tonight. Vinyl’s staying too.”

Hmph. Like I care.

“I see.” I replied flatly as I stood up from my kneeling position “Go get Luna and Matt. We should leave now so we can set up before ten.”

“Sure.” Paul replied simply as he headed down to the basement.

Feh, Octavia’s pathetic just like the rest. She’s no different. She can’t even put aside her feelings to do what she loves. The only reason we’re going to this shit-hole tonight is for her. Well, if that’s how she’s going to get on about it, then that’s her business. I couldn’t care less if she never came to the bar. I couldn’t care less if she just dropped off the face of this planet.

Paul emerged from the basement stairway with Matt and Luna in tow. They both seemed to be bursting with excitement. I couldn’t comprehend why; we were only going to a shitty bar to play music to an incredibly small crowd of about five or six ponies.

I turned around and picked up my things, ignoring the humans and pony princess.

“Come along then, we’re wasting time.” I stated as I put down the guitar case to lean against the wall next to the door. I opened it and picked up the case again, walking out into the street and down the road towards The Clop Bar.

Luna trotted happily out the door and down the road after me. Matt and Paul stood in the doorway for a moment, observing me hurry down the street.

“Is Jimmy okay? He seems… Angry…” Matt asked Paul.

“He seems it… Maybe he’s on his period…” Paul replied earning a chuckle from Matt.

“I’m sure he’ll come around when we get there.” Matt stated with some optimism in his voice “Come on, then.” He said as he walked out the door and into the street. Paul closed the door and locked it, following Matt down the road.

I reached The Clop Bar at precisely twenty one minutes past nine. Luna happily skipped along beside me humming to herself. She reminded me of that pink nuisance of a pony that I had lived with when I first arrived in this place. I set my things down inside the bar in the little corner that was designated for the musicians. I looked to the bar where there was no bartender. It was at that moment when I realised Luna and I were the only ones present in this establishment. Surely Cherry must be around here somewhere.

She’s some bartender, leaving the bar unattended like this.

“So what are you going to play tonight?” Luna asked cheerfully. I sighed.

“I don’t know Luna.” I replied “I don’t decide what I’m playing until it’s time to play.”

“How come?” She asked. I responded with another sigh.

“It lets me figure out what I actually want to sing and allows me to sing only songs I’m comfortable performing. See, when I make a set beforehand, I end up making a point to stick to it, and most of the time, it’s got one or two songs I’m not comfortable enough with and I end up screwing them up either vocally or on guitar which makes me screw up my vocals.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Luna replied “Where is the bartender?”

“Not a clue.”

“JIMMY!!” Shouted a voice, making me brandish my guitar like a sword and get into a defensive stance facing the general direction in which the yell came. I sighed in annoyance as I realised it was only the pink nuisance.

Oh dear Jesus Christ… She just had to be here, didn’t she? She just had to make that kind of entrance, didn’t she?

She hopped over to me and gave me a very unwanted hug of which I failed miserably to release myself from.

“Pinkie; please let me go.” I asked before trying to remove her forcibly.

“Nope! Paulie told me you were being a grumpy-pants, so I’m not letting go until you’re not wearing your grumpy pants anymore!” She replied holding me tighter.

That’s somewhat disturbing if you put it into a different context.

I looked over to Paul who stood in the doorway with a smug look on his face. Matt put down his saxophone case on the bar and started putting together his instrument.

“Well maybe you should tell Paul to do the laundry when it’s his turn so I don’t have to wear the ‘grumpy pants’.” I replied releasing myself from the pink pony’s iron grip.

“Wait, seriously?” Matt asked “You still haven’t done the laundry?”

“I… I was getting around to it!” Paul replied.

“That’s what you said yesterday!” Matt scolded.

I tuned out the discussion for the most part and grinned as Matt and Paul fought over why Paul should do the laundry. I set up my microphone and guitar and was ready to play as of ten o’clock as designated by Cherry who I still had not seen for the night.

“Is Twilight Sparkle coming tonight?” Luna asked Pinkie who had jumped behind the bar.

“Oh yeah! Her and the rest of the gang! Even Spike’s coming! Well, maybe, if he can stay awake he’ll come.”

Perfect… Our only audience for tonight is late… Not that I expected anything different.

“Anypony else?” Asked Matt as he closed up his case and rested it on the floor next to the bar.

“Well, I hope a lot of ponies!” Pinkie replied as she filled each mug with cider “I told everypony who came to Sugar Cube Corner since Wednesday to come down here.”

Matt gave a simple ‘hmm’ in response to what Pinkie had said as he took a mug of cider from the bar. At that moment, Twilight and company had arrived at the bar.

Oh look, it’s the inbred, the materialist, the show-off, the paranoiac, the nerd and her fax machine… Yay…

“Hi everypony!” Twilight greeted as she walked into the bar with her group. Matt, Paul and Pinkie greeted the five ponies and dragon in response. I stayed quiet and finished setting up my microphone. I looked down at my effects pedal and noticed several knobs had been switched yet again. I groaned and bent down to turn the knobs back to what they should have been.

“Hi Jimmy.” A quiet voice greeted. The voice undoubtedly belonged to the paranoiac of the ponies present “Umm… I was wondering, if you don’t mind me asking, if you could maybe play Last Night On Earth please? I really like that song, and I haven’t heard it in such a long time…”

Oh my Goddddd… Get her to shut upppppp… She’s so fucking annoyinggggg…

I did not respond, I simply continued to switch the knobs back to their original spots. Then I had an idea. A mischievous grin crept across my face. I switched the overdrive level to maximum. I stood up straight and tapped the overdrive button with my foot and set the volume to maximum, keeping one hand resting on the strings so nothing would ring out. I turned around and set the amp’s volume to full. I looked to the bar, everypony was lost in conversation.

Perfect.

“Jimmy?” Asked the frightful yellow pegasus. I gave a low chuckle. I quickly set the mic volume to maximum on the PA system and turned back towards the bar. At the most opportune moment, I strummed a quick E power chord and gave a scream into the microphone. Fluttershy fainted as soon as I struck the chord; Spike, Twilight and Pinkie fell off of their barstools, tumbling onto the floor, the others jumped slightly and looked towards me.

Before anyone or pony could scold me for scaring them, Spike and Pinkie suddenly burst into a fit of hiccups. Pinkie laughed between hers while Spike failed to get to his feet, shooting small bursts of green flame with every hiccup which prevented him from standing up. Rainbow Dash burst out laughing upon seeing the pink pony and dragon attempting to stand up.

“Good one Jimmy! You really got them good!” She said between her own fits of laughter.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight scolded “Stop laughing! That wasn’t fun-*hic*… Oh no…” Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor with a loud thud, laughing from the purple mare’s plight. In the meantime, Rarity had walked over to where Fluttershy stood. I had already gone back to setting everything back to their original volumes and tones.

“Jimmy, that wasn’t very nice! You know how easily frightened Fluttershy is!” Rarity chastised.

“Oh bite me; I was just having some fun with you guys.” I said as I rested my guitar against the wall.

“You still should have known that Fluttershy wouldn’t have reacted well to a prank of that kind!” She retorted. I stepped closer to Rarity and put my face close to hers.

“As I said, bite me.” I whispered, glaring into her eyes. After a few moments I stood up straight again and walked past her “Also, move your garbage, we’re performing in a few minutes.” I stated gesturing to the unconscious pegasus as I walked out of the bar. Rarity stared at me with her mouth agape as I left. I didn’t care to pay attention to what the others were doing for it was not within my list of concerns. There was a tree that stood just the entrance to the bar I decided to lean against. It was at that moment when I noticed a large group of ponies coming towards the bar.

It looks like the pink one’s determination to acquire an audience has paid off in full. We should make a point not to show our thanks for this.

I nodded to myself in reply and grinned…

“Oh Jesus… What the hell was I smoking last night?” I groaned as I fell back onto my bed burying my face in it.

“From what I saw, it was only regular cigarettes.” Luna replied as she lay down on the bed next to me. My eyes widened in surprise as I took my face out of the mattress. I quickly thrust a hand into my right pocket and pulled out a small rectangular box. Inside it were several cigarettes.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” I groaned again as I thrust my face back into the bed “Mmph mm bmphsmit.”

“What is the matter with one’s smoking habits?” Luna asked “I do not see the issue with this.” I lifted my face out of the bed again.

“It’s not the smoking, that’s minor! It’s the everything else that’s the problem… Snapping at Octavia and Rarity, scaring Fluttershy like that… Ughhhhhhhh…” I replied. Luna rubbed my head lightly with a hoof.

Wait a minute. Why was Luna sleeping with me in my bed?

“Hey… Luna? Not to sound rude or anything, but what were you doing in my bed?” I asked.

Pleasenothingnaughtypleasenothingnaughtypleasenothingnaughty…

“I was only sleeping in your bed, Jimmy, nothing more. I promise.” Luna replied with an ensuring smile. I still wasn’t sure whether to trust her completely, but then again it didn’t really matter. I couldn’t recall anything past what she had told me about last night.

“Alright, just checking.” I replied.

*yaaaaaaaawn* Mornin’…

The fuck? You were awake earlier!

What? Nigga you crazy, you know that I always wake up after you unless I wake you up first.

I j- You know what? Whatever. You were awake this morning. You told me about what happened yesterday and I shouted at you, remember?

You’re tripping balls man, I haven’t been awake until just now. To be honest, I can’t remember yesterday right now, lemme check your memory… Oh… Oh… Cool, we got Brawl… What the hell? Wait, you thought… Why are you yelling at Octavia? Guy, what the fuck are you thinking?! Oh what the FUCK man! You can’t scare Fluttershy like that! That’s fucking cruel! You best go fucking apologise right fucking now! I’m not letting you friggin’ leave last night alone as if it never happened!

I wish it never happened…

Yeah? Well guess what? IT FUCKING DID. Because of your stupid shit, you snapped at Octavia, scared the fuck out of Fluttershy and semi-threatened Rarity!

I wasn’t thinking straight! I don’t even remember doing any of this! Don’t you find it funny how there’s a big chunk of memory missing after that big group of ponies was coming to the bar?

What are you tal-… Oh… Wow… That’s weird… What the fuck were you smoking?

Regular cigs…

Really? Cool, I guess. Anyway: You. March downstairs right fucking now. Go apologise to Octavia. March the fuck over to Rarity’s. Apologise. Get the fuck back here. Get your guitar. Go to Fluttershy’s. Play her fucking request, because looking at your thought pattern last night, I can bet you a hundred thousand bits you never fucking played it.

I’ll take that bet. I like that song, I planned on playing it, I’m pretty sure I did.

“Hey Luna, did I play Last Night On Earth at the bar?” I asked. Luna thought for a brief moment.

“No, not that I remember.”

Score motherfucker.

Goddamnit.

“Goddamnit.” I groaned as I buried my face in my hands as I sat up on the bed. “Okay, Luna, I have to go. I gotta talk to Octavia and then Rarity and then I gotta get back here and get my guitar then go to Fluttershy’s.”

“Why do you have to talk to Octavia?” She asked.

“I said some things I shouldn’t have said to her yesterday. I need to set things right.” I replied as I stood up and stumbled out of my bedroom. As I headed down the stairs to the ground floor, my train of thought stopped me in my tracks only a couple steps down.

This is urgent! Stairs take too long! Jump down the steps!

Are you ret-AAAAAGH!

It always works in the movies! Let’s do this! LEEROOOOOOOOYYYYY-

I jumped down the flight of stairs in the direction of the front door. On my way down, I realised I was not going to land on my feet, before I could brace myself for impact however, I landed flat on my face at the bottom of the steps. I could hear Matt's voice in my head, warning me about the stairs and calling me bro.

… Jenkins… Uggggghhhh… At least I have chicke- Oh… Right… Ponyland… Fuck… I don't even have chicken...

Wow man… I didn’t even tell you to jump this time… You’re an idiot, you know that?

SHUT UP.

After a moment or two of calling for help until someone got their lazy ass downstairs to help me up, I got to my feet again and traversed the stairs to the basement, deciding not to jump down them this time. I reached the end of the hallway and knock on the door to Octavia and Vinyl’s room. I knocked on the door softly with a slow three knocks and waited for an answer. The door enveloped in a blue aura as it opened slightly revealing a white unicorn standing behind it.

“Hey Jimmy, what’s up?” She asked in a less happy tone than usual as she opened the door wider.

“Hey Vinyl,” I greeted in reply “I need to speak to Octavia for a moment, if she’s still asleep it can wait, bu-” Vinyl held a hoof in the air signalling for me to stop talking.

“She’s awake; I’ll tell her you want to talk to her.” She stated before closing the door. I waited for a few moments before I saw the handle turn and the door open. In the doorway stood a grey mare with a very well-groomed black mane who wore a pink bow-tie. She opened the door wide enough so she could walk outside, I closed the door behind her quietly.

What the hell do I say?

Oh God, you’re retarded. I wanted to tell you before you jumped down the stairs, but I didn’t get to. Now that I have the chance: You’re retarded, and I’m assuming direct control.

Wait, what?

“Hello Jimmy,” Octavia said in a very dull voice “What do you w-” She was interrupted as my arms flung around her in a tight hug. Her breathing paused for a moment as she took in what was going on. She surely did not expect this type of reaction from me.

Well, that was a good move.

Trust me, there’s a lot more where that came from, watch this.

“Octavia,” I started as I loosened the hug slightly and looked her in the eyes “I honestly don’t remember a word of what I said to you yesterday, but I know that what I said was not nice to say the very least. I want you to know that I am really and truly sorry.” Octavia looked away from me for a brief moment, but I kept my gaze steady.

“The person you saw yesterday was not me, okay? That wasn’t Jimmy, okay? That was… I don’t know; Chris, or something.” I said attempting to make some light of the situation with a little joke “Just know that who you’re seeing right now, is Jimmy. Jimmy is not that guy who yelled at you yesterday, that wasn’t Jimmy at all. This misplaced-in-time human that you’re looking at right now, is Jimmy. You understand?” Octavia nodded her head and allowed herself a smile. She lifted her forehooves and wrapped them around me, embracing me in a hug which I returned immediately.

Nice moves; buddy. I should let you take control more often.

I thought you’d learnt that after the dragon.

Nah, I was in too much pain to note that, sorry.

Well fuck you too.

“Anyway, listen Octy, I gotta go to Rarity’s and then I gotta make a mad dash for Fluttershy’s right afterwards.” I said breaking the embrace.

“What for?” She asked.

“I kinda fucked up with them too, so now I gotta run and apologise to them as well.” I replied as I opened the door to the studio where I was blasted by saxophone soloing which made me jump slightly.

“Sounds like you’ve had a grand old time with messing up yesterday!” Octavia half-shouted over Matt’s sax playing.

“Yeah! It would seem so!” I replied as I closed the door.

I walked over to the rack of string instruments holding a double bass, two cellos, an acoustic guitar and a Hoofson guitar. I took the acoustic guitar from the rack. As I turned to head back out of the studio, Matt had decided to stand directly in front of my path while playing his sax, dry-humping it as he did. Matt was wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses and tight leather pants.

God knows how he convinced Rarity to make those for him.

He must’ve had them when he came to Equestria.

It took me at least two minutes to exit the studio due to Matt’s continuous blocking with his stupid, sexy shenanigans.

“What took you so long?” Octavia asked as I closed the door behind me.

“Oh, you know,” I started as I headed down the hallway “Shenanigans.” I said finishing my statement as I walked up the stairs.

Alrighty, that’s phase one complete. Phase two is in progress, let’s go!

Wooooooooooooooo!

I headed out the front door and into the street, shutting the door behind me and running down the street with my destination in mind.

This was a stupid idea.

REMEMBER WHO IS IN DIRECT CONTROL RIGHT NOW. HERE’S A HINT, IT’S NOT ME.

Ugggghhhhh…

I regretted the decision to run all the way to Carousel Boutique. It really was quite unnecessary. The place was quite far from our house, and I had decided to take a longer route than usual to get here. The fact that I was unfit as hell did not help my situation. I knocked on the door to the boutique harder than I had intended.

Nigger what are you doing?

What? I’m knocking on the door like a civilized human being.

Nigger this is a shop. You don’t need an invitation to go in.

Oh… Right…

I opened the door and walked inside the boutique, I had intended to call for Rarity, but I was too out of breath. I stood in the center of the display room, catching my breath. As soon as I thought I had enough breath to call her, I was halted by laughter emanating from the kitchen. Two voices were the source of the laughter; one voice was Rarity’s and the other was more than likely Paul’s. I stepped inside the kitchen, catching Paul’s attention straight away.

“Hey Jimmy, you’re just in time for tea.” Paul stated. I noticed the teapot and two teacups on the table as well as the plate of cookies.

Teaaaaa… Nooooo… Not hot drinks… Need cold drinks… Iced tea… Please…

Oh Goddamnit son, just give me control again.

Fiiiine… Good luck talking with no breath though…

“Rarity… Agh… Gimme… Minute… Ran… All way… House… Here…” I said holding out a hand gesturing them to wait a moment for me to speak “Paul… Could you… Get… Water… Me… Please?” Paul nodded and got up from his seat to go get me a glass of water. As my breathing became steadier, and Paul had given me a glass of water, I took a seat at the table with the white unicorn and the human.

“Rarity, I’m sorry for my behaviour last night.” I started “I wasn’t myself last night, if it weren’t for Luna telling me about everything I did yesterday this morning; I would not remember anything I said or did.” Rarity had not said a word the entire time I had been present. She simply sat and took in what I had to say.

“God, yesterday, I snapped at Octavia, then I pranked Fluttershy with malicious intent then I snapped at you too. Does that sound like the Jimmy you know, Rarity?” I asked. She stayed silent for a moment.

“No. No, it doesn’t sound like the Jimmy I know.” She replied.

“Right, now, look at me. Listen to me. This is the real Jimmy. Not the person you saw yesterday. I don’t know who that was. I’m sorry I was that person yesterday, can you forgive me, please?” There was another pause from Rarity, but she did allow herself a smile at last.

“I forgive you Jimmy.” She stated “But tell me, have you apologised to Octavia and Fluttershy yet?” She asked.

“Octavia, yes. Fluttershy, not yet, I decided to apologise to you first because you were on the way. Speaking of which, I gotta go.” I replied as I got up from the table grabbing a cookie. As I walked out of the kitchen, I stopped myself and turned back to the two.

“Umm… How were we last night?” I asked.

“Music-wise? You were magnificent as always, darling.” She replied with a smile. I smiled back.

“Paul? You feel the same?” I asked.

“Yeah, we did awesome. There was something different about your playing last night though.” He stated.

“I’m not surprised. Anyway, as I said; the person you saw yesterday was not me. It really wasn’t, okay?” I asked. The two nodded in reply. I smiled at them and headed out of the boutique.

Phase two complete. Final phase commencing.

Co-ordinates locked in and set.

Punch it.

Fluttershy’s cottage came into view. I had decided to walk this time rather than run. Running was something I planned not to do unless I was being chased by some kind of monster that decided to emerge from the Everfree at this particular moment. The sun was setting opposite her cottage. The scenery had an orange glow that almost made me want to take back up painting just so I could paint one picture of Fluttershy’s cottage at this time of day. I took the guitar off my back. The time had come for me to play her request. From the sound of my attitude yesterday and what I could remember, chances are I never played her request. It was time to change that.

I quickly tuned the guitar to the best of my ability and walked towards the cottage. As I reached the front door, several different types of birds flew out of the window of the cottage, going back to the birdhouses outside. Through the window they had flown through, I saw a white rabbit poke its head out. It gave me an angry look and slammed the window shut.

Well that was fucking weird.

Yeah… It’s like as if he looked right at me and shot me an angry glare…

That rabbit is trouble…

Well, better play the song. You taking it or me?

You better take this one, I’ve done enough apologising for one day. Also, you can take example from the other apologies I’ve done for Octy and Rarity to help you with Fluttershy.

Sure.

I held down an A chord and strummed loudly, I quietly picked at the notes and moved to an A2 chords, then an A3, then A7, following the same pattern of a loud strum followed by some picking for each chord. Then I went to a D and D minor and lastly an A to complete the pattern.

“I text a postcard, send to you, did it go through? Sendin’ all my love to you…” I sang, starting the first verse “You are the moonlight of my life, every night, givin’ all my love to you…” Upon finishing the verse, I moved to a D chord, signalling the start of the chorus.

“My beating heart belongs to you, I walked for miles ‘til I found you…” I sang, I could hear light footsteps approach the door “I’m here to honour you, if I lose everything in the fire; I’m sending all my love to you…” I then played a small fill, soloing around A, just because it fit there. And it was in the song anyway. I continued to sing the next verse and chorus…

With every breath that I am worth, here on Earth,

I’m sendin’ all my love to you…

So if you dare to second guess, you can rest,

Assured that all my love’s for you…

My beating heart belongs to you,

I walked for miles ‘til I found you,

I’m here to honour you, if I lose everything in the fire,

I’m sendin’ all my love to you…

I then played the chords to the verse as Fluttershy opened her door. She was smiling wide as ever. Several birds flew out and rested on my shoulders, they harmonised with my playing, creating some kind of vocals solo until the chorus came around one last time.

My beating heart belongs to you,

I walked for miles ‘til I found you,

I’m here to honour you, if I lose everything in the fire,

Did I ever maaaaaake… It through…?

I played the chord progression one last time as the birds harmonised with it. I was beginning to like these birds. As long as they didn’t take a shit on me, I was cool with them.

Birds better not take a shit on this shirt! This is a comfy fuckin’ shirt!

As I strummed the last A chord, Fluttershy flew over to me beaming.

“Oh Jimmy, that was lovely!” She exclaimed quietly.

implying she could be louder.

“Thanks Fluttershy,” I replied as the birds flew back inside the house “Listen, I came over because I wanted to apologise for last night…” I walked inside after Fluttershy motioned for me to follow her. We sat down on her couch and I proceeded to tell her what I had told Rarity and Octavia earlier today. Fluttershy was beaming the entire time, which made me begin to question myself as to whether the apology was necessary. It felt as though the only apology she needed was me playing that song for her.

“… Say, Fluttershy? Did I ever play that song last night?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

“No, you didn’t, but I’m glad you didn’t!” She replied.

lol wait wut?

“If you played it last night then you would never have come here and played it as nicely as you did!”

Oh, that’s where she was going with that.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I was just seeing something…” I replied.

That other voice man, it’s not good.

There’s an even bigger problem with him other than him taking over.

What’s that?

Well, for one thing, I’ll never know if he’s there and you’re not. Remember how you told me you had only just woken up this morning?

Yeah… Wait a minute… Are you saying he sounds just like me?!

Yeah…

So you won’t be able to tell if he comes back?!

Nope…

You won’t know until it’s too late… Goddamnit… We gotta be on our guard then, avoid triggers or something.

How do you propose we do that?

I don’t know! Surround yourself with flowers, start meditating, yoga, I don’t know! Just something that doesn’t trigger those damn nightmares again!

I can’t control my subconsc-

“Jimmy?” Fluttershy asked waving a hoof in front of my face.

“Oh, sorry Fluttershy, I was just thinking… Too much… You were saying something?” I asked.

“Well, no, but it was getting quite late and I was wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner. If that’s okay with you, I mean, if you don’t have any plans…” She replied. I smiled.

You can’t stay.

Why the fuck not?

We have to get home and talk to Luna about this shit.

But-

No. Have I ever led you wrong?

No.

Good, we’re going home to talk to Luna. Maybe get her to ask Celestia or something, I don’t know, okay? But I don’t like the idea of another voice in this head!

DID SOMEONE SAY ANOTHER VOICE?!

AGH! DERPY! GODDAMNIT SHOO! SHOO! OUT! THIS IS MY HEAD! NOT YOURS! OUT! OUT! NOW!

He’s right, Derpy, three’s a crowd. This head’s too crowded as it is. Sorry, we’ll meet up sometime though, okay? Muffins are on me.

Yaaaaay! Muffins!

See ya!

Bye bye!

… How’d you do that?

It’s Derpy, man. Yelling at her isn’t sending her anywhere. Muffins however…

You got a point. Anyway, tell Fluttershy we can’t stay. Got plans, or whatever.

“Sorry Fluttershy, I’d really, really like to, but I’ve got some plans tonight. I gotta meet with Luna for dinner, see?” I replied “But I’ll take a rain check on that dinner though. I’ll take you out somewhere nice, okay?”

“Oh, okay then.” She replied. I brushed her hair with my hand.

“Don’t worry, we’ll go out real soon, tomorrow if you’d like even, okay?” I asked.

“Can we really go out tomorrow?” She replied.

D’AWWWWW SHE’S SO CUTE WHEN SHE’S EXCITED, LOOK AT HER!!!

“Of course my dear, I’ll come by around seven, okay?”

“Okay!” She replied happily.

After arranging the next day’s dinner plans and our goodbyes, I left the cottage with a sense of accomplishment for today. I fucked up bad yesterday, but today I was able to take all those fuck ups and fix them.

“Now all I have to do is make sure that side of me never comes out again.” I said to myself as I walked through the streets of Ponyville. It was unusually quiet tonight despite the young hour of the night.

That’s why we’re going to talk to Luna.

“Eeyup.” I replied as I picked up the pace, home was in sight and I wanted to get some answers from Luna...