With A Little Help From My Friends

The rest of our Sunday was spent in the guest room playing songs with each other as well as me working out parts for Matt in other songs we had never gotten around to playing together that had capacity for a saxophone part.

At dinner, we met the owners of Sugar Cube Corner, Mr. and Mrs. Cake as well as their twin babies Pound and Pumpkin. They had just come back from a trip to Fillydelphia to participate in a food festival. They had brought the twins along with them because while they trusted Pinkie to babysit them, it was a week they would be gone and Pinkie would have to run the shop as well as take care of the twins. That would definitely be too much for one pony to handle; even Pinkie admitted she probably couldn’t handle all of that. After meeting them, we informed Mr. and Mrs. Cake we should be with them no longer than two weeks. Or so we hoped, we still had to find out the price of a house, and if we couldn’t buy one at the end of the two weeks we limited ourselves to, we’d at least be making enough cash to be able to rent one. After dinner, Matt and I cleaned up for Pinkie and the Cakes so they could go to bed as they would have to resume work tomorrow and they had just come back from a long trip. After we cleaned up, we came back upstairs and got ready for bed.

“Dude, we should really be going out tonight and check out the local music scene.” Matt suggested.

“Not tonight man.” I said putting my guitar in its case. “We’re both starting work tomorrow. Mine is actual labour, so I have to have enough sleep or I’m gonna be useless. I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow as far as what Applejack’s gonna have me doing, I just hope I’m competent at whatever jobs Applejack gives me to do.”

Be working like black people in them there cott-

Shut the fuck up. Now.

“Lucky I spoke to Pinkie first, eh?” Matt replied wearing his best troll face.

“Aw shaddap.” I replied. “Also, Sunday night? Music scene? Come on, man. No one’s gonna have a party Sunday night, especially when everypony’s got work the next day. The good days would be on Friday and Saturday. Don’t you think?”

“Perhaps.” He agreed. Something then crossed my mind that I had meant to ask Matt earlier. It was unrelated to what we had been talking about, but was very important regardless.

“Hey Matt,” I started “Do you have any money with you?”

“Yeah, I’ve got about 1800 bits, why?”

“We gotta pool our cash together so we can buy a house, don’t we?”

“Yeah, sorry, I had meant to tell you that I had money with me, it slipped my mind I guess.”

“Ah, no problem, man.” There was a pause for only about a minute when I broke the silence with another question “Do you think anyone else from our world is here? Anyone we know?”

“I dunno man. Maybe.”

“Hmm… Do you remember if you had a dream before you woke up in the Everfree Forest?”

“Actually yeah, I do remember something I dreamt of.” Matt sat up in his bed and put his left hand to his forehead closing his eyes, trying to remember what happened in his dream. “All I really remember from the dream are people. I know you were there. I think I saw Paul for a second there, but I can’t be sure.”

“Anyone else?”

“Not that I can remember, no.”

“Hmm… All right then.”

“Did you dream of anything that night?”

“I did, but I only remember one thing from the dream.”

“What’s that?”

“Laughter and screaming. Not the kinds you hear at parties.”

“Wow… That’s… Somewhat disturbing.”

“Heh, yeah. I didn’t see anything in the dream, all I heard was laughter. It was that of a child’s voice accompanied by a woman’s own. The screaming, well, it may have been those same two voices. They alternated between it. The child would laugh evilly and the woman would scream and then the other way around and it would repeat. All I remember at the end of the dream, the woman’s laughter had become extremely loud and maniacal and the child’s voice screamed ‘No, mommy!’ I have no idea what that could relate to if it means anything. I doubt it does, but… Aghhh… My dreams are still really messed up, man. My subconscious is that of a serial killer or something.” Matt could only stare in horror at the sound of my dream. I’m surprised he didn’t tell me to shut up about it like he normally does when a story I tell him scares him.

“Well, hopefully it means nothing.”

“I hope so too.”

It was only 8 pm during this conversation, but I decided I needed to sleep from now until 5 am when I’d get up and get ready for work. Applejack had told me to come to Sweet Apple Acres at 6 am, I was going to try and be early for work. I stress the ‘try’ in that statement quite a bit. So I told Matt good night, and fell asleep within the next 5 minutes.

I awoke to the alarm of my iPod going off. It was precisely 5 am. The alarm was an air-raid siren that if we were at war, it would scare anyone half to death if they heard it. I turned it off after much difficulty of trying to get it off the dresser because my hand alone couldn’t find it right away. I had to make the effort of turning my head to look at the table to see where it was.

Stupid hands, not having eyes in them and shit.

I sat up on the edge of the bed, grabbed my towel from the foot of the bed where it hung and went in the shower. By 5:15 I was out of the bathroom almost completely dressed with only my shoes still to put on. I was wearing a white shirt that was very light that Rarity had given me as a work shirt as well as my jeans from the day before and a green baseball cap that she had made as well. After my shoes were on, I went downstairs to find Pinkie Pie making breakfast.

“Good morning Jimmy! You ready for work this morning?” Pinkie said bouncing towards me cheerfully.

How the fuck is she such a morning pony?

“As ready as I’ll ever be I guess.” I said still trying to get out of my groggy state. “I can see you’re quite the morning pony.”

“Oh, I don’t usually wake up this early. I woke up early because I knew you were gonna need breakfast and that you wouldn’t make breakfast own your own. Even if you did, it’d just be a bit of toast with some jam on it and that won’t do, especially for the work you’re gonna be doing!” She said as she sat me down at the table, putting two fried eggs on a plate with a slice of toast and pouring me a glass of apple juice.

“… How did you know?” I asked.

“It’s a secret!” She said giggling.

I really don’t get how she knows you this well… This is getting weird even for me. I mean, yeah, she cooks tasty breakfast but… How does she know how we do things and shit?

I dunno mang… I dunno…

“Well, thank you very much Pinkie.” I said as I started eating. She sat down with her own breakfast and ate with me.

“Twilight came by yesterday while you guys were at Rarity’s.” She stated “She was looking for you two.”

“Oh really?” I asked rhetorically “What for?” I asked as I started drinking some of my apple juice.

“She said something about Princess Celestia and Luna wanting to meet you both.” As soon as my mind comprehended that statement, I nearly choked on my apple juice. I coughed a bit and held out a finger gesturing her to wait a moment for my response.

Sounds intredasting, we get to go meet the pony princesses! How incredibly GAY is this?!

“Wait, how is Twilight in contact with the princess? And why would the princesses want to meet us?”

“She didn’t tell you?” Pinkie asked with a surprised look “Twilight is one of Princess Celestia’s students. Twilight’s really good at magic and stuff and she’s been Celestia’s personal student in magic ever since she was just a filly. They’re almost like mother and daughter, which is kinda weird because the Princess doesn’t have any kids and Twilight has parents.”

notbad.jpg

“Okay, that’s pretty awesome.” I stated “But that doesn’t explain why the princesses would want to meet me and Matt.”

“Oh, that’s easy. You guys are enemies of the state now. Of course she’ll want to meet you in the courtroom! If she feels like giving you a trial.”

OH CUNT.

“WHAT??!?!?!” I shouted in a genuinely scared voice.

“Oh relax silly! I’m only kidding! She wants to meet you because you guys are from a long time ago and she wants to help figure out how you got here and learn more about you and stuff.”

Oh thank Christ, I would’ve hated having to kill Pinkie just now. Hiding her body and all that stuff… It's tiring work! Gotta do it fast too!

“Phew… Okay, that sounds better than she wants to put us in the dungeon for the remainder of our lives or have us executed by this afternoon at the earliest.” I said as I took our plates to the sink and washed them.

After I finished washing up I bode Pinkie farewell and was on my way to Sweet Apple Acres. The roads sure were different in the dark, at least there was no screams of bloody murder or anything as I walked down the empty streets. The streets were horribly lonely. I felt like something was wrong, but that might’ve just been me. I can’t see anypony jumping out of the shadows holding a knife to me telling me to give up all my bits. I didn’t even have any on me to give them, so it probably would’ve been the end of me if that happened. I decided to use my iPod for the rest of this walk. So I put on my headphones and listened to some music as I followed the directions Matt had given me to get to Sweet Apple Acres.

After about fifteen minutes I finally arrived at a large red house that resembled a barn. In front of it was an arch way that connected to the white fences that gated off the orchard from the pathway. There was a well just past the archway with a few barrels on one side as well as a bucket. Just past the barrels was a field that seemed to be dedicated solely to corn. There was a small chicken coop opposite the well. In the not-too-distant distance was a field of carrots. Just behind that was a building that from what I could tell was carrot themed. Behind the barn were many fields and hills filled with apple trees. I checked the clock on my iPod, I was early. I was possibly a bit too early. It was only 5:36.

Well, I can’t see Applejack waking up at 5:59 and harvesting apples at 6 am on the dot, so she must be awake by now.

I walked up the barn-looking house and knocked on what I hoped was the front door. Applejack answered the door after a few seconds. It was a stable door. She opened the top half of the door.

“Hey there Jimmy, bright’n early Ah see.” She said quite cheerfully.

“Well, not really bright yet, just early.” I replied.

OH HO HO! IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE SUN IS HARDLY EVEN OUT YET! AND IS ALSO FUNNY BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB! I’M SOOOOOOO FUCKING WITTY! BATHE IN MY GLORIOUS WIT FOUNTAIN OF WIT! LATHER YOURSELF IN IT! DRINK IT! DRINK IT ALL YOU FILTHY WHORES!

“Come on in, sugar cube.” Applejack said opening the bottom half of the door. The door led to the living room of the house. The wallpaper of the room as well as the ceiling beams were all decorated with apples. Across from the door was a rocking chair with a sleeping, old mare that had a picture of a pie on her flank. There was a large circular rug in the center of the living room. There were two book shelves built into the walls of the room, one under the stair case and the other above a small cabinet. On the wall hung a single painting of two butterflies in the sky with a rainbow behind them.

Cozy.

“So Applejack,” I started keeping a hushed voice trying not to wake the sleeping mare in the rocking chair “What kinda work am I gonna be doing today?”

“Well, Ah had planned for you t’ be helpin’ us harvest the apples off the trees, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, with you being a human and all, Ah’m not sure if you’d have enough strength t’ be able t’ apple-buck like I do.”

But… I thought ‘buck’ was a curse word… WAIT. WE’RE NOT RAPING THE APPLE TREES ARE WE?! OH GOD I CAN SEE IT NOW!! IT’S LIKE A REALLY BAD HENTAI BASED OFF THE WIZARD OF OZ!! MAKE IT STOP!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

I thought nothing could disturb you.

WELL THAT DOES, OKAY?!

“Hmm… Well, I suppose I could try, uh, apple-bucking, or whatever you called it. That being said, what is apple-bucking exactly?”

“Oh, it’s easy stuff, it’s just kickin’ th’ apple tree with enough force to knock down all the apples.”

Oh thank God…

“Well, that’s interesting… I’m not sure about kicking it… Hmm… Another way I could do it is ramming into the tree with my shoulder I guess. Or I could just shake the tree to get the apples down.”

“I bet that rammin’ the trees wit’ yer shoulder ain’t gonna go over too well for yer arm though… How did th’ humans do it back then?”

“Well, when we’d have an apple orchard, they’d usually be in bushels so we could harvest the apples using machines. When they’re in trees, we’d just climb the tree and pick them. Or shake the tree, either way works. Thing is, as you can see, I’m not exactly a climber. So I’ll try apple-bucking and see how that goes, if that fails, I suppose I could just shake the trees.”

Yeah, you’re definitely no climber you fat fuck. You best shake the fuck out them trees, son.

“All right sugar cube, let’s see what you can do then.” She said opening the door to reveal that the sun had just risen. We walked outside over to the easternmost apple tree field.

“Give it a go.” Applejack said raising a hoof to the closest tree. The tree was surrounded with large buckets that I guessed the apples would fall into. I walked up to the tree and made sure I had my balance.

I aimed a well place kick at the tree and brought my foot swiftly into the trunk.

FALCON KICK!

I managed to knock out the majority of the apples in the tree with one kick. Applejack looked in awe at the feat I just accomplished.

SHOW ME YA MOVES!

“YES!!! I DID IT!!! WOOOO!!!” I yelled jumping for joy at my success. Alright, this wasn’t gonna be so bad after all.

“How’d y-… On yer firs-… Buh-… Wha??” Applejack stumbled over her words.

“I don’t even know AJ. All I know is it looks like I got apple-bucking down. By the end of the day, I should be knockin’ all these apples out with a single kick!” I said motioning another kick to the air.

“Well, that’s an amazin’ job fer yer first try, but you still got some apples in that there tree.” She said pointing a hoof up to the top of the tree. I gave her an easy smile and aimed another kick without as much force that knocked the rest out of the tree. I then proceeded to put my right hand against the tree, cross my right foot over my left and leaned against the tree.

“I’m sorry, was there some kind of doubt I wouldn’t be able to do the job?” I said smiling a bit deviously.

“Well, yer legs may be strong, but how’re yer arms?” She said smiling the same smile I had. She guided my eyes with her own to the three now full tubs of apples surrounding the tree. I groaned.

Ouch… I didn’t see that one coming. Oh well.

“You win this time.” I told her. We laughed a bit and continued apple-bucking until lunch time when we took a half-hour’s break for some delicious apple pie and muffins. I wondered how Matt was holding up on his first day.

It was 6 am when Matt woke up. He decided to take a shower this morning before coming downstairs. So he did just that, got dressed and came downstairs, ready for work. He walked into the kitchen to find Pinkie Pie baking as well as cooking Matt’s breakfast.

“Good morning Matt!” She said putting a plate with two fried eggs down on the table with two slices of buttered toast. “Here’s your brekky!” She said as she bounced over to the oven and took out two trays of cupcakes that she placed on the counter to cool.

“Morning Pinkie, thanks for breakfast!” Matt said while sitting down quickly to start eating.

“It’s no trouble,” She replied putting two trays of either cupcakes or muffins in the oven. He couldn’t tell what they were. “Twilight came by looking for you guys yesterday when you were at Rarity’s.”

“Really? What for?” Matt asked as he shovelled the eggs and toast into his mouth.

“Well, she was looking for you so she could tell you that the princesses want to meet you and Jimmy!”

“Really? That’s pretty awesome!”

“Well, I guess if you think getting to meet them in a court room while you’re on trial for treason is awesome, then yeah, I guess it is!” Pinkie replied smiling. Matt nearly choked on a forkful of egg.

“Wait, WHAT?!!?”

“Yeah, there’s a big reward out for you two! It’s dead or alive! In fact, dead is a higher reward!” She said pulling a rather large knife out of a nearby drawer as her hair deflated into a straightened, well-kept mane that hung over one side of Pinkie’s face. Matt stared at Pinkie in horror. “It’s a good thing you were staying here so I could catch you before you could get away! Jimmy wasn’t able to give much of a fight; he didn’t even see it coming. I didn’t even get to tell him about the reward. He hardly paid attention to me coming up behind him with the knife when I was telling him about how he was an enemy of the state, he thought I was joking!” Pinkie said walking closer to Matt. “Don’t worry Matt; I’ll make it as painless as I can, as long as you don’t put up a fight!” She giggled maniacally as she approached. Matt scrambled for the kitchen door to be greeted by a cyan blur that tackled him and held him on the kitchen floor.

“The reward’s ours Pinkie! Finish this chump!” Rainbow Dash yelled to Pinkie as she approached. Matt squirmed to get free to no avail. The two ponies laughter got louder and louder as they got closer. He gave up trying to break free and instead tried pleading for his life.

“PLEASE!!! DON’T KILL ME!!! OH GOD!!! I’LL DO ANYTHING!!! DON’T FUCKING KILL ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH GOD!!!” He screamed.

“We’ll let you live on one teensie-weensie condition!” Pinkie said spinning the knife around in her hoof. “One eensie-weensie-teeny-beany condition… One itty-bi-”

“Shush Pinkie!” Rainbow yelled, she grabbed Matt by the collar of his shirt and held him closer to her face “Tell us where the little girl is!!”

“What??!!!?!” Matt said in shock, what little girl? What the hell were they talking about?

“WHERE IS THE LITTLE GIRL!??!?” Rainbow Dash shouted shaking Matt.

“WH-WHAT?!!!?!?!?!” Matt yelled trying in vain to figure out what was going on.

“'What'? 'What' isn’t a place I’ve ever heard of! I wonder if it’s a country…” Pinkie said.

“Do they speak English in 'What'?” Rainbow continued. Matt still flabberghasted asked again “What?!?!?!”

“ENGLISH MOTHER-BUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!?!?!?” Pinkie and Rainbow yelled.

“TELL US WHERE THE LITTLE GIRL IS NOW!!! WE’RE SERIOUS!!!” Rainbow continued as she shook Matt again and pinned him to the floor harder.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT LITTLE GIRL YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!!!! I DON’T KNOW!!! I DON’T KNOW!!!!!” Matt started to cry. “Please don’t kill me… Please don’t kill me…” Pinkie nodded to Rainbow Dash. She let up her grip on Matt a little bit and smiled. Matt was still crying, he looked at Rainbow Dash and held back the desire to say ‘what’ again as he saw her smiling.

“There’s the little girl.” She said poking him on the chest. Pinkie’s mane suddenly re-inflated and the two ponies burst out in laughter, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie both fell on the floor. Matt moved away from the two ponies a little bit and started laughing too after he went over the whole ordeal in his head and recognised the joke that they had just played on him.

“Sorry for scaring you so much there, buddy!” Rainbow Dash said putting a hoof on Matt’s shoulder. “You gotta admit, that was pretty hilarious just now!”

“Oh yeah, that was great guys! You got me real good just now!” He said wiping a tear from his eye. The three stayed on the floor for a couple more minutes when Pinkie saw that it was nearly time to open the shop. Rainbow Dash had to go do some cloud removal over Ponyville, so she said goodbye to Pinkie and Matt farewell after apologising to Matt again for being so harsh on him.

“So, did Twilight really come by yesterday? Or was that part of the joke too?” Matt asked Pinkie Pie who was putting icing on some cupcakes.

“Oh no, Twilight really did come by yesterday, the princesses do want to meet you. That part wasn’t a lie. The rest of it was, though! All that about you being wanted and stuff, don’t worry your head about that!” She said patting Matt on the head.

“So, when were we gonna go meet them?”

“Umm… I don’t remember, I don’t think Twilight said. We’ll go ask her later today. But for now, you have some work to do!” Pinkie said pushing Matt up to the cash register.

Matt worked the register starting from 7:30 until 12:30 when Pinkie told him he could take his lunch break. He had a lunch consisting of two blueberry muffins. He wondered how Jimmy was handling his first day at work. Matt also wondered if Pinkie and Rainbow had put Jimmy through what he just went through...