With A Little Help From My Friends

I could hear the sound of rain outside as well as a clap of thunder that made me wake up. Accompanying the sound of the thunderstorm was my alarm going off. I picked up the alarm and checked the time. It was 6:48.

Hey… Hey guy…

Wha?

Think we’re late for work, bro…

Work? We don’t do… Oh no…

“OH SHIT!!!” I yelled as I jumped out of bed and put on my clothes. No time for a shower, I had to get to Sweet Apple acres fast, the shower I had last night will have to do. I grabbed my hat and ran downstairs when a pink pony stepped in front of me.

“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Pinkie asked.

“I gotta get to work Pinkie! I woke up too late!” I replied trying to get past her, Pinkie kept stepping in front of me whichever way I tried to go around her.

“You can’t go anywhere today, there’s a storm scheduled!” Pinkie said with a serious tone in her voice.

She’s sounding serious, I think something’s wrong man.

“Bu- Wait, what? A storm was scheduled for today? Don’t you mean forecast?” I asked. Pinkie sighed.

“The Pegasi scheduled a storm for today, didn’t you hear? Everything’s closed today. Usually they wait until night time to do it, but they couldn’t wait this time.”

“Wait, so what you’re saying is that the Pegasus ponies control the weather in this world?”

Ain’t that some shit… I bet you twenty bucks everypony has to go outside at the end of each winter and melt the snow and shit like that.

“Yeah, that’s how it works! If it weren’t for them, the weather wouldn’t ever change and the clouds would never move. The only place in Equestria where the weather works on its own is in the Everfree Forest.”

Shenanigans, all of it.

“Well… So what does this mean? I still have work, don’t I?”

“No, not even Applejack would work during a storm like this.”

“Are you sure? Cuz I don’t want to go by the farm tomorrow and be chastised for not coming in to work today.”

Really… I don’t want to see AJ’s bad side…

In your future I see an angry Applejack holding a shotgun with its barrel directly in your mouth.

“I’m absotively posilutely sure!” Pinkie said with a smile. “Now go back upstairs and get some sleep!” I smiled at her and went back to the guest room.

Nigga, you best understand we’re going to work today.

Oh yes we are. She’s not gonna keep me here that easily. I think she’s wrong about this situation. After all, AJ did say that I was supposed to come to the farm today.

I opened the window when the rain let up a little bit and flew out, closing the window as I left.

I was getting soaked in the rain as I looked around trying to get my bearings. Nothing was clear. Every building looked the same and I could hardly see them anyway through the heavy rain. I needed to fly above the clouds so I wouldn’t have to deal with this storm. I tried gaining altitude only to have two lightning bolts fly at me in succession.

Huh, and they say lightning doesn’t strike at the same place twice.

I tried again only to be met with another bolt of lightning. I decided to abandon that and just fly towards the general direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

I flew as fast as I could through the rain, constantly having to wipe my eyes from the stinging droplets that pelted down harder and harder the further I got from Sugar Cube Corner. Sweet Apple Acres was in sight. I picked up speed. I heard a faint and familiar voice call to me.

The hell was that?

I dunno man, I think you’re imagining shit. You’re the only one flying here, keep going, you’re nearly there.

I heard another faint call. It’s just my imagination. A third call, it sounded as though it said ‘stop’. I couldn’t trust it though, I hear things all the time.

Especially from me!

Yes, especially from you.

A fourth call, it was much louder this time.

“JIMMY!!! STOP!!!!” the voice called, it sounded like Rainbow Dash, I looked up into the sky and saw a cyan Pegasus flying above me with a small rainbow trail following it, descending to my altitude. Suddenly the Pegasus stopped, why? Suddenly a bolt of lightning flashed in front of me. I stopped and looked around.

Oh God, I really should’ve just stayed in bed, this was a STUPID idea!

FUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKFUCKFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!

Suddenly another bolt flew past my shoulder. I wanted to get away from this place; I turned around and flew back towards Ponyville.

“GODDAMNIT!!! WHY DIDN’T I JUST LISTEN TO PINKIE PIE AND STAY INSIDE?!?!?!?” I yelled at myself as more and more lightning bolts came down, making me fly away from my planned course back to Ponyville.

What the hell was this? Why is there so much lightning and why does it seem to follow me!?!?!

MAYDAYMAYDAY!! ABANDON SHIP!! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!!! Wait no, JUST ME!! YOU FUCKERS CAN STAY BEHIND, I’M OUTTA HERE!!

DON’T YOU GO AWOL ON ME YOU MOTHERFUCKER I NEED YOU GET BACK HERE!!!

. . .

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Rainbow Dash was yelling at me, I had no idea what she was trying to tell me, but in a way I didn’t care, I just wanted to get home. I wiped my eyes with my left hand and a bolt of lightning whizzed in front of my face, I lost the mental connection I had to my wings and started spiralling towards the ground.

“OH FUCK!!! OH JESUS CHRIST FUCK SHIT FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” I shouted, the ground becoming closer and closer as my death dive continued without letting up. I tried clearing my mind, but it was no use, I was spinning out heading towards what seemed like a forest below.

Well, I guess this is it then. Huh, and just yesterday I was saying how awesome life is. So much for that I guess.

I closed my eyes and accepted my fate as my death spiral was coming to an end. I felt an object ram into me sending me off my course slightly, I opened my eyes to be greeted with tree branches, I closed them again quickly and felt the whacks of several branches to every part of my body. As soon as I thought the barrage was over, there were two loud thuds on the ground. I wasn’t sure what the second one was, but I know the first was me. Pain, everywhere on my body… I guess that’s the end then… See ya ‘round Matt… Bye everypony… Hope you don’t miss me too much…

I woke up to the sight of tree branches above me. The rain was still falling lightly, but the thick forestation was keeping most of the rain from hitting the ground. The leaves were a darker shade than those in Ponyville.

Wait a second. I’m awake? I’m not dead? Well, that’s pretty cool, I guess.

I tried to move, the pain came back to my body.

Ow. Ow. Okay, okay, don’t move. But I have to. I can’t just lie here. I don’t even know where I am. I sure hope I’m not in the Everfree Forest. That would plain suck right about now.

I gather the strength to lift myself off the ground. My right side where that first object had struck me was in tremendous pain. I bet I’ve got some broken or cracked ribs. At the very least, I’m just really badly bruised. My arms were covered in cuts. My legs were cut up too, but they weren’t as bad. As far as I could tell, none of my limbs were broken, that was good enough for me. That means I’ll be able to walk out of here at the least. I turned around and saw a dirtied and unconscious cyan Pegasus with a rainbow coloured mane.

Oh fuck. Well, now we know what hit us.

“Oh shit.” I said as I stared at the hurt Pegasus. “Oh fuck. Oh shit. No. Rainbow Dash!! No. No. NO. NO!!!” I ran over to the Pegasus.

“Rainbow Dash!!! Rainbow!!! Wake up!!! Please wake up!!! Oh Jesus Christ… Rainbow Dash!!!!” I yelled as I shook the Pegasus trying to wake her up. She was bruised everywhere and had cuts all of over her body. Her wings were ruffled and seemed okay to my eye, but I’m no wing expert. I wouldn’t know if something was wrong. She finally responded to me shaking her awake.

“Ughh… Jimmy?” She said opening her eyes slightly and looking at me.

“Oh thank Christ, you’re alive!!!” I yelled as I hugged the Pegasus.

“Owowowow!!!” She shouted when I hugged her. I broke off the hug quickly.

“Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.” I looked her over, I didn’t want to ask her the stupid question of whether she was okay or not, obviously she wasn’t. “Let’s see if you can walk at least, come on.” I said as I tried to help the Pegasus pony to her hooves. The Pegasus extended her wings and flapped them a few times lifting her off the ground, she landed back on her feet panting heavily.

“Wh… Why… Can’t I…” Dash started still panting.

“Dash, you’re injured, don’t try to fly right now, we need to get out of this forest. I’m the only one who’s got any kind of flying ability for the moment, okay?” I stated in an attempt to keep Dash grounded for now so she wouldn’t hurt herself more.

“Heh, you shouldn’t even be allowed to fly…” She replied.

“What?” I replied.

“You heard me. You shouldn’t be allowed to fly!” She yelled. “Anypony with a sliver of sense would know NOT to go flying around in a thunderstorm unless they’re trained weather ponies who are keeping the storm in check! Not just joy-gliding like an idiot through a lightning storm!”

She was right, I shouldn’t have gone flying, I should’ve just taken Pinkie’s word and gone back to bed.

“Why the hay did you even leave Sugar Cube Corner!? What’s your problem?!! Where’d you even get that hat?!” Rainbow Dash asked angrily. I stood silent, looking at the ground in front of me.

It was my dumb-ass that managed to land us in wherever the hell we landed. It was my fault that Dash was injured.

“ANSWER ME!!!” She yelled.

“I don’t know!!” I yelled back, anger was building up inside me now, not sorrow or regret anymore, just pure anger. “I’m sorry I’m not the greatest Goddamned flyer on the planet!! Yes! I should’ve stayed at home!! I didn’t understand that the weather on this planet was HOSTILE TO ANYONE WHO SETS FOOT OUTSIDE!! JESUS CHRIST!!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP SHIT IS THAT?!!?! HOMING LIGHTNING BOLTS?!!?!? WOE IS ME FOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THAT!!!”

“MAYBE IF YOU LOOKED WHERE YOU WERE FLYING YOU’D SEE YOU ENDED UP FLYING OVER THE EVERFREE FOREST!!!! WHERE UNNATURAL THINGS TAKE PLACE LIKE, OH, I DON’T KNOW, HOMING LIGHTNING BOLTS?!??! NOW WE’RE DEEP IN THE FOREST, I CAN’T FLY, WE’RE BUCKED JIMMY!!! IT’S ALL THANKS TO YOU!!!” There was silence after that. A single tear rolled down my face. Dash stared at me, anger being the only thing present in her. I honestly didn’t know what to say to her. Sorry wasn’t gonna help anything at this point.

Like she said. We’re bucked.

Well, now that you’ve established that you’re a dumb fuck, apologise.

Uh, you supported me fully in going outside.

. . .

Well?

The number you have dialed is not in service. Please tr-

Oh bugger off.

“I’m sorry Dash.” I started. “I knew I shouldn’t have gone out. I just didn’t want Applejack to think badly of me for not coming into work. She hadn’t told me anything about there being a storm today, so I assumed I still had work. I woke up late and tried to rush out the door, Pinkie told me to stay inside because of the storm. I decided that I should ask Applejack myself rather than trust Pinkie. Where I’m from, people would tell you if you had the day off due to weather, since Applejack had said nothing, I figured I still had work. So, I took to the skies. It wasn’t the best idea. Then lightning started coming down all around me. Instead of employing logic and landing at Sweet Apple Acres, I decided to let fear get the best of me and fly back to Sugar Cube Corner. The lightning threw me off course and over this forest, then I nearly got hit and I lost control of my hat. I thought I was dead, Dash. I didn’t know you’d try to save me. I didn’t think anyone would bother saving me. I’m not worth it.”

“What the hay are you talking about?” Dash asked.

“Huh?” I replied.

“Of course you’re worth something! I wasn’t gonna let one of my friends die, regardless of how stupid one of his decisions was. My rescue didn’t exactly go as planned, obviously. Look, I’m sorry for freaking out at you. I’m sorry for landing us in the forest. I was just scared that you were gonna die if I didn’t hurry and I flew towards you way too fast and couldn’t catch you.”

“Dash, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. For everything. And hey, if you didn’t fly as fast as you did, I definitely wouldn’t be alive right now.” I said. I looked up at the bit of the grey sky I could see through the trees. “Now, I’m gonna fly up and see where exactly we are in the forest, give me a sec.” I said flying myself just above the tree line. I could see Ponyville directly ahead. I came back down to the ground.

“That way.” I said as I pointed straight ahead of me. “Come on, let’s go.”

Rainbow Dash and I walked as silently as we could through the forest. We treaded carefully for the slightest snap of a twig could send some unearthly creature after us. After about twenty minutes of walking, we came across something odd on the ground. It was a large claw print.

Oh God, what’s this from?

I don’t know. Inb4 dragon though. This reminds me of a big ass version of Spike’s hands.

“Look!” Rainbow Dash said pointing to the mouth of a large cave to our right. Apparently the rock formation we had been walking next to the entire time was a cave, a rather large cave.

“W-what’s in there?” I asked.

Please be a little white bunny who likes cuddles and eats carrots…

“A little white bunny lives in there that likes to cuddle and eats carrots.” Rainbow said with sarcasm that my mind didn’t want to register.

“Thank God…” I replied after a sigh of relief.

“Really Jimmy? Come on, it’s probably a dragon or something. We have to be quiet.” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Oh… Crap…” I replied upset that she actually said what I had wanted her to say.

… How… How did she know that we thought it was a little white bunny that likes cuddles and enjoys carrots? WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC FUCKERY?!

“Come on, let’s go. Quietly.” Rainbow walked ahead of me. I followed after I noticed she had gotten a bit too far away of me while I had been too busy looking at the cave. Something snagged my foot and I tripped and fell to the ground with a loud thud.

“AGH!!” I yelled as I fell to the ground. My foot didn’t hurt, but my side was in agonising pain from the fall. A loud roar came from the cave. We looked into the cave in horror.

Now you fucked up, son.

Eep!

Another loud roar. Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Jimmy… What have you done?” Rainbow Dash asked quietly. I sprung to my feet.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Silence now. That can’t be good. Suddenly, a dragon flew over our heads and out of the cave and landed directly in our path back to Ponyville. A large green dragon with red spikes along its back looked down on me and Rainbow Dash. It blocked off any other paths with its tail, the only ‘escape’ was into the cave.

What the hell do we do now?!

. . .

WHAT DO WE DO?!?!

“… I’m sorry, Dash.” I said. The dragon let out a mighty roar.

Shields up.

SHIELDS UP!! BATTLE-STATIONS NOW!! ALL POWER TO THE ENGINES AND SHIELDS!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS THING NOW!!

“RUN!!” I yelled as I ran into the cave, Rainbow Dash following on hoof as she still couldn’t fly. The dragon roared again and followed us.

SIR!! THE DRAGON’S GAINING ON US!!

FUCK THE SHIELDS, REVERT ALL POWER TO THE ENGINES UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!! WE CAN’T FIGHT OR HOLD HIM HERE!!

Inside my head, I could see several miniature versions of me running around to different control panels and computers rerouting my strength and stamina into running away.

The cave was surprisingly well lit, freshly lit fires lined the way to the center. The dragon roared every few seconds to tell us he was still coming for us. We reached the center of the cave. It was covered in gold, jewels and every kind of treasure imaginable. The cave was lit with sunlight that shone through a large hole in the ceiling of the cave.

The dragon flew over our heads again and breathed fire as it flew along the top of the cave in a circular pattern around the hole in the ceiling. Several torches in the cavern were lit from the dragon’s flame and the dragon landed on the main pile of gold in the center of the cave and let out the loudest roar yet. I saw a sword and shield to my left leaning against a pile of treasure. The sword looked similar to the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The shield was circular and made of metal, the shield was considerably large and could cover my whole body if I crouched behind it.

Orders?

Now we fight. Pick up that sword and shield. All power to the arms and legs, we’re gonna need to run around and attack. Also, we need our flight systems operational, keep that hat close in mind!

Yes sir!

Tell Rainbow Dash to get out of here while you’re at it! We can’t protect her through all this!

Right away!

“Dash!! Get out of the cave!! I’ll hold him off!! Go get help!!” I said picking up the sword and shield and standing in front of her with the shield held in front of me and the sword at my side “Go!!!”

“Not a chance!! I can’t leave you here!!” Dash yelled. The dragon roared again. This dragon obviously wanted to play with its dinner before eating it.

WHAT THE HELL’S TAKING SO LONG?! WE’VE GOT A HOSTILE APPROACHING AND WE’RE NOT OPERATIONAL YET!! HURRY THE FUCK UP!!

“Dash!” I yelled. I turned to face her. “I can’t protect you if you stay here. I’m telling you to run because I know you won’t get hurt. Please, I can’t let you get any more hurt because of me. It’s time for me to return the favour you did me, and save your life.” Rainbow Dash looked to the floor of the cave and then at the dragon and finally to me.

“Okay Jimmy. On one condition:” She started. “You come back to me. Alive.”

DEPLOY WITTY ONE-LINER IMMEDIATELY!

“I can’t promise you anything,” I replied. “Other than that.” I winked at her. She kissed me on the cheek, turned around and ran out of the cave.

“Alright motherfucker,” I said as I turned to face the dragon “Time for me to go Dovahkiin on your ass!” I returned to the stance I was in when I picked up my sword and shield. The dragon roared and flew towards me and dived towards me with its mouth open.

ENGAGE HOSTILE!

I ran towards the dragon and flew up out of the way just a second before it could swallow me whole. The dragon’s face impacted on the floor of the cave. It picked itself up and roared at me revealing a few broken teeth.

DEPLOY TACTICAL TAUNT!

“Come at me, bro!!” I shouted as I flew around the ceiling of the cave. The dragon was quick to follow me, giving chase along the ceiling. After hardly a few seconds of chase, the dragon sent a breath of fire my way, barely dodging with a quick change of altitude. I flew towards the main mountain of gold in the center of the cave and landed on it. The dragon landed just below me on the treasure mountain. I jumped at it with my sword held back and swiped at its face giving it a large cut across its snout. It recoiled in pain and swiped with one of its claws, hitting me and sending me flying into a smaller pile of gold below. I gasped as I felt my right side ache in extreme pain again.

We can’t take another hit like that, Captain!

Dammit! Scotty! What’s our status down below?!

Aye Cap’n! The jewels are unharmed!

I don’t mean that ‘down below’ Scotty, but that’s good to know! I me-

INCOMING!!

The dragon approached and brought another claw down towards me, I barely managed to jump out of the way and the dragon ended up scattering the pile of gold I had been knocked into in all directions across the cave.

Cap’n, the ribcage is severly damaged! Adrenaline’s at max and I’m givin’ it all we’ve got but it’s not holding!

Sir! Orders!

TACTICAL TAUNT AGAIN! WE NEED OUR SWAGGER AT MAXIMUM POWER! AND KEEP PARRYING! IT’S BETTER TO GET HURT DURING EVASIVE MANUVERS THAN TAKING A DIRECT HIT FROM THAT THING!

“Is that all you got!?!? Come on!!! I’m not even getting warmed up yet!!!” The dragon roared fiercely and breathed fire at me.

SHIELDS UP!!

I crouched behind my shield for a few seconds and waited for the flames to subside. As they did, I was met with another claw that knocked me across the room again. This time, I did not meet with a nice pile of treasure and was instead met with the floor of the cave. My shield bounced away somewhere in the cave while my sword was just a few feet away from where I had fallen. I had fallen right on my side, of course. The pain was agonising. If I didn’t have broken ribs from before, I was certain I had some now. The dragon landed right on top of me, pinning my escape from all directions.

CAPTAIN ALL SYSTEMS ARE OFFLINE!!! RIB-CAGE DAMAGE IS CATASTROPHIC!!! THE PAIN HAS BEEN NUMBED FOR NOW, BUT WE’LL BE EXPERIENCING IT FULL ON IN FEW MOMENTS!!!

I CAN SEE THAT LIEUTENANT!

SIR WE NEED TO EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE GIVE THAT ORDER! I’M STILL THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP! AND I’LL GIVE THE ORDER TO EVACUATE WHEN WE REACH A BATHROOM!

Sir, the dragon’s stopped…

What?!

It’s just standing there, looking down at us.

. . .

Your orders?

… I don’t think we’ve got a way out of this, boys. It’s been an honour serving with you all.

Deploy the apology to Miss Dash?

Now’s the only time we’ll be able to, lieutenant. Deploy.

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash. Looks like I can’t keep your promise. This is how it ends I guess.” I said quietly. My life flashed before me as I saw the dragon’s head arch back and a glow came from its mouth. Its grip loosened slightly. An idea shot through my head.

THE HAT!! THE HAT!! PROPEL YOURSELF OUT OF ITS GRIP!!

I made the connection with my hat and flapped its wings as hard as I could, sending myself shooting out from under its grip. The dragon’s flames enveloped its claw as I narrowly avoiding crashing head-first into the wall of the cave. I quickly flew to where my sword had fallen and picked it up. The flames around the dragon’s claw subsided. It lifted its paw looking for my charred corpse but found nothing.

“HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” I shouted as I flew through the air towards the dragon. The dragon let out a deafening roar.

PLANT THAT SWORD RIGHT BETWEEN ITS EYES!! LEGEND OF ZELDA STYLE!! LET’S DO THIS!!! LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYY JEEEEEEEENNKIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSS!!!

I landed on top of the dragon’s head with my sword planted firmly through its skull. There was silence now. The dragon and I were as still as statues. I felt the dragon slowly slump towards the ground. I hovered just over its head as it fell down to the floor of the cave, letting out one last low growl. I landed in front of the now deceased dragon.

THE DRAGON IS DEAD!!

HUZZAH! PLAY THE MISSION SUCCESS JINGLE IMMEDIATELY!!

Which one sir?

ANY OF THEM! NOW IS TIME FOR CELEBRATION!

I sighed with relief. I knew there was still pain to come, but it was numb for now. I would deal with that pain when the time came.

Say, there’s some mighty fine treasure ‘round here.

Yeah…

Worth a few pretty pennies I bet…

Yep…

Let your Jew senses take over.

Don’t have to tell me twice!

I found a large backpack and started filling it with all the gold and gems I could get my hands on. Suddenly, I heard voices echo through the cave. Then I saw Pinkie Pie, Matt and Applejack appear at the entrance to the cavern.

“Guys!!!” I yelled as I ran to greet them. They stood with gaping mouths at the slain dragon in front of them. “Yeah, pretty cool, huh?” I said standing next to the dragon and pointing at it.

“How di-” Matt started, he never finished his sentence.

“This dragon fought valiantly, he almost had me at one point. He had me pinned against the ground and was ready to turn me into overcooked barbeque. I’m lucky to be alive right now. Oh yeah, al-”

“JIMMY!!!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she jumped on me and shook me, my side in pain yet again “WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE?!?!?!”

Normally, I would approve of this situation. But right now… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH OH GOD IT HURTS GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!

“I’m sorry Pinkie!!! I should have trusted you when you told me not to go anywhere! I let my bull-headedness get the better of me, will you forgive me and get off me PLEASE?!!?!” I replied as fast as my mouth and tongue would allow. Pinkie quickly jumped off me looking a bit puzzled with my request.

“Ah’m sorry Jimmy, I shoulda told you that you didn’t have ta work today, Ah guess it slipped my mind. Ah’m real, real sorry.” Applejack said taking off her hat and holding it to her chest. I got to my feet with Matt and Pinkie’s help.

“It’s okay, Applejack, from Pinkie’s explanation she gave me this morning I should’ve thought that you just forgot to tell me.” I replied.

“Jimmy!!!” Pinkie yelled again. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!!!!!”

“Okay Pinkie, I promise.” I replied.

“Do you Pinkie Pie promise?” She asked.

“I… Don’t know what that is.”

“You cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye!” She said poking herself in the eye. She didn’t flinch or show any sign of pain when she stuck her hoof into her eye however.

“Okay, I cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-- OWWW!” I said as I actually poked myself in the eye.

STOP INFLICTING PAIN ON US GODDAMNIT!

“Okay I forgive you!” Pinkie said smiling; she bounced away to a pile of treasure in the corner of the cave and played with a mirror she found, moving her face to and from the mirror making funny sounds.

“So, how did you kill this dragon?” Matt asked.

“Heh heh, Remember the end of Wind Waker?” I replied “That’s how.”

We filled up several bags with treasure, rather, everyone present but me. I sat with my back against the wall of the cave. The pain had come on full-force since the adrenaline had stopped pumping through my veins. I couldn’t bend to pick anything up. Standing was almost out of the question, but it had to happen sometime. The treasure was plentiful, Matt and I decided we were going to use it to buy us our house and furnish it. Also, hopefully live off of it for the remainder of our lives.
As we exited the cave, I could see the sun shining through the leaves of the trees. The storm had indeed subsided. As the sunlight touched my face, I was greeted by a cyan blur that tackled me to the ground.

NIGGER JESUS MOTHER CHRIST FUCKING ASSHOLE SHIT WANKER BUGGER FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK!!!!

“You’re alive!!!” Rainbow said happily as she kissed me on the cheek.

“Of course I’m alive, I had to keep the one promise I could make for you...” I replied with a very pained smile as calmly as I could. “Now, could you please get off me? I think I’ve got some broken ribs, so…”

“Oh, shoot, sorry… Heh heh…” Rainbow said getting off of me.

I saw Fluttershy flying towards me.

“Jimmy, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked landing in front of me.

“I don’t know, I think I’ve got some broken ribs.” I said lifting my shirt to reveal my completely bruised right side. “The cuts are nothing, but this is the big problem.”

“Oh dear!” Fluttershy exclaimed “What did that to you?” I pondered my response for a moment, on a whim I would’ve said something about Rainbow Dash tackling me, but I didn’t want anyone to be mad at her for my injuries.

“The dragon did that.” I replied; Rainbow Dash looked at me with a confused look on her face “Yeah, he knocked me pretty hard, but I was able to finish him off.”

“Oh dear, oh dear, we need to get you to the hospital!” Fluttershy exclaimed “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, could you carry him or at least keep him off his feet?”

“I can fly there, it doesn’t hurt to fly. Lead the way, Fluttershy.”

“Umm… Well, I don’t actually know the way out of here.”

“Ah do, though.” Applejack stated “Come on, it’s this way.” She said as she started on the path out of the Everfree Forest. We all followed closely behind her.

After some time, we finally got to the hospital where a white pony with a light pink mane named Redheart was able to patch me up quickly. My ribs were indeed broken on my right side. They were broken badly enough that I needed to wear a brace around my body.

Well, at least your first broken bones were from something badass rather than a wimpy fall down some stairs or something.

I also received many bandages for my numerous cuts and scrapes. It wasn’t necessary that I stay in the hospital, so we returned to Sugar Cube Corner. I said my goodbyes and thanks to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and the others and I bid them good night as I decided I needed to go lie down. So I did. I put down my bags of treasure and my sword and flopped down on the bed dismissing the horrible pain from my ribs as I flung myself onto the bed. I was not thinking about what I was doing and acted by reflex, which I regretted immediately, but decided to man up and deal with it and eventually I fell asleep.

A dragon today... What’s tomorrow gonna be? I can guess tomorrow will be bed rest, as well as the day after that and the day after that…