Trial and Error

When Twilight checked the mail one bright and clear morning, she found a surprise waiting for her between the weekly Amarezon package (she'd been on a Philip K. Dock binge recently, and there was Neigh Gaiman's latest as well) and a bulging letter from her parents. Lying there was a white envelope addressed to 'Ms. T Sparkle', marked in one corner with a red shield. Inside the shield was a yellow talon crossed with a hammer, and underneath was a short phrase written in two scripts she couldn't read. It was no coat of arms she could recognise.

Puzzled, she opened it and pulled out a letter. “The Griffon Democratic Republic formally requests your assistance in the execution of GDR-Equestria international criminal case 1138...WHAT? What does a Griffonic court want with me?” Worst case scenarios began racing through Twilight's mind – had she been charged based on a case of mistaken identity? Was some criminal or spy using her name as a disguise? Did somebirdy in the GDR (was that the one with all the mountains? She could never keep Griffonic nations straight, there were just so many of them) just plain dislike her?

Twilight caught herself pacing, and realised that she had telekinetically grabbed a bag and a few essential wilderness survival supplies – which, if she were honest, consisted mostly of books. 'OK', she thought, 'calm down, let's just read the rest of the letter before we bug out and go be a hermit with Zecora for the rest of our lives'.

After a meditational breathing exercise or two, she managed to calm down enough to read the rest of the letter. As it turned out, she wasn't under arrest for something she didn't actually know was illegal. Instead, she was simply being summoned to the high court of the GDR in its capital city of East Birdlin, thousands of miles from home, in order to serve as a lawyer for a pony that could not be named for legal reasons, in a case that could not be described for similar legal reasons and she was expected to leave the day after tomorrow and cross the Sea of Atlantis in a Griffonic flying machine that according to most Equestrian science shouldn't even exist, let alone soar above the clouds.

Because that was so much better.

'But wait!', as the expression goes, 'there's more!' She would have a guide with her, to ensure a swift and safe journey to, through and from the Griffon Democratic Republic and to make sure that she didn't put her hoof in her mouth so hard that they booted her out as soon as she arrived. Twilight sighed. With her luck, her guide was likely to be either a bored kid being forced into the job as some kind of community service or else an out-and-out racist who would dump her off on her own at the first opportunity. 'Heck', she thought (before scolding herself for using such language) 'maybe my guide won't even speak Equestrian.

There was only one thing for it. She had to learn all she could about Griffons, the Griffon Democratic Republic and the GDR's laws in the span of two days – or rather a day and a half. Of course, that was likely to amount to very little, almost nothing and diddly squat respectively, but she'd had hard topics to research before. Griffonic laws might be tough, but compared to theoretical thaumaturgy they surely couldn't be that complicated. When she approached it as a research problem, the solution became clear: Group work. Simply find somepony who knew about Griffons and she'd be halfway there.

“SPIIIIIIKE!” The familiar yell rang through the library, and was followed by the sound of tiny, scampering scaled feet coming from the bedroom down to the library's ground floor.

“Yeah, Twilight?”

“I have an urgent project. If you're not in the middle of anything important, I need you to go and get Rainbow Dash for me.”

Spike snapped off a quick salute and jogged off.

“Oh, and if you'd like you can take a bit from the jar and get yourself something on the way back. No, wait, take two and pick me up some coffee as well.”

“How black are we talking this time?” called Spike from the kitchen, “Night in the forest black, or dictionary cover black?”

“Nightmare Moon, Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra playing blackjack at night during a new moon with my eyes closed and all the lights turned out black.”

“Yikes!” Spike sped off as fast as he could. A cup of coffee that black could only mean a serious national emergency – or, worse, that Twilight had forgotten to do her homework again. What a week that had been!

• -

He returned some time later with Rainbow Dash, a cup of coffee that was blacker than the blackest black times infinity and the remains of a particularly nice pastry, to find Twilight at her desk with a surprisingly small pile of books around her. Instead of the mound he had expected – one that, if it were to fall on her, would stand a good chance of seriously hurting her – she had only gathered four or five books. What was stranger, some of them looked positively modern.

She turned as she noticed his arrival, and her eyes brightened. “Ah, there you are! Rainbow, I hope you don't mind, but I need to ask you a few questions. Spike, this is likely to get a little technical, so if you'd rather go off and read or something, I don't mind.”

“Sounds good to me. I think I might go for a bit of a walk.” 'And hey', he thought, 'maybe that walk will happen to take me past Carousel Boutique. You never know.'

“These questions aren't going to be about what me and Soarin' were doing on the night of the 16th, are they? Because I swear, my hoof to Celestia, that's totally legal in this county.”

Twilight blinked, puzzled. “You were with Soarin'? That's odd. No, no, nothing to do with him, although it does concern someone else you know.”

“I think you know all the ponies I do, Twilight. I mean, there might be a Wonderbolt or two you've never met, but apart from that we pretty much have the exact same friends.”

Twilight took a deep breath. Time for the truth to come out. “That's just the thing. She isn't a pony.”

“Who – oh, no. What's Gilda done now?” The question carried an unspoken undertone of 'and how hard will I have to kick her flank?'

“It's not that bad. But, it's also worse than that.” Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a quick summary of the situation, artfully leaving out the part where she had suffered a panic attack that Rarity might call a little over-the-top. By the time she was done, Rainbow Dash had one pressing question:

“Since when are you a lawyer?”

“After my brother joined the Royal Guard, I decided to take a part-time course in criminal law. You know, as a hobby.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Only you, Twilight.”

“What?” Twilight tilted her head, confused. “Lots of ponies take an interest in their family's careers. You know, like how Pinkie keeps up with her family farm, and Fluttershy follows her dad's races.” When her father won a particularly big race, Fluttershy would buzz with excitement for days – at least, by her standards.

“There's a liiiittle difference between reading the back pages of Equestria Daily and getting a freaking law degree, Twilight.”

Twilight nodded animatedly. “Oh, I absolutely agree – I can't make heads nor tails of sports journalism!”

Rainbow Dash could only sigh.