Trumpets

The Trumpeter

   Hello to the unwanted eyes who are obviously reading this journal. Or diary. Call what you will. Actually, shut it now and pretend you didn't start reading something that has a huge DO NOT READ on the cover. What's your defense? It was to tempting? Unless I'm dead, DO NOT FUCKING READ THIS.

   Well, any who, this is the journal or Hunter S. Suntra, or Suns, as I've been called by the little friends I've once had. I've lost them all when I lost my parents and a place to live. Other ten that dreadful orphanage, I haven't had a place for about 2 years since I was 16. So yea, I'm 18.

   I couldn't stay in that place. Over-crowded inter-city shit hole were the kids never talk and would probably piss on each others graves. Unlike most of them, the only thing I had was my fathers old Trumpet and my moms old Rosary Beads which I've wrapped around Trumpet.

   Yea, yea. It might be weird, but I've named my trumpet. A pet name, yes. Rusty.

   I bet you can guess why.

   It's about  30 years old, I was told. It still plays, but I rarely play it anymore. It's not because I can't play, because I can play it pretty well. It's because at the Orphanage, as soon as I played a song I was rewarded with a black eye from a black guy.

   I'm not being racist. I was the only white person there.

   And the only blonde person...

   And the only one who had blue eyes...

   Yea, I was different. I looked like a rich asshole to them. Someone who defiantly didn't belong. It was like someone put a big target on my back.  That is why I left.

   I was scared at first because the only things I had was my trumpet, Rosary beads, and the cloths on my back, but I am proud of the fact that I've traveled about 20 miles for that orphanage within my years! I'm still in the city, but I stopped and set up shop at Co- Op city. You know, the buildings with a shit ton of Co-Ops?

   Pretty obvious...

   So, let me tell you how I ended up in a place inhabited by talking ponies who come in every color imaginable. Orange? They've got that! Pink? They've for that, too! Purple? Fuck yea they got it! Hell, they even have a fucking rainbow one! Oh, just make sure you don't call them horses! They DO NOT like that!

   And that's not the only thing strange about these ponies! Oh, you thought them talking and coming in all the imaginable colors wasn't strange enough? Nope! There is fucking flying ponies called Pegasuses (Pegasi?) an fucking Unicorns who can use magic! MAGIC! Emphasis on fucking MAGIC!

   Yup. Fuck Logic.

   Right now, I am trapped In a room in a palace for some shit. I heard 'Palace' before I was rudely teleported here. Luckily, I'm not in a jail cell. I'm in a pretty regal room. Pretty nice. Lots of books. Maybe after I finish writing this I will read a few.

   The story as to how I get here starts with me getting teleported into a forest next to a town I learned was named Ponyville (Gah, I know. Horrible). I forget what it's name was. Evergreen, maybe? Everfree? I dunno. Doesn't matter.

   I was walking to a spot were I go to play on the street corner for a little pocket change. I took back alleyways for the hell of it and for the fact my cloths were ripped and shit and my hair was even worse. Long and more of a mess then OJ Simpson would've been in if he couldn't afford the best lawyers money can buy. I wanted to be seen as little as possible, though I doubt I'd be recognized as someone other then one of this cities thousands of homeless people.

   I was arriving at the end of the last alleyway before the street. This alleyway was lined with graffiti and garbage containers that reeked with week old food that just sits there and rots.

   And rots.

   And rots.

   It's disgusting, to when I saw a bright light glowing from one of them, I have no idea for the life of me why I decide to go an check it out. I clenched my nose as I walked up to the open garbage container. I peeked my head inside and saw a circular sphere that seemed to made of pure light. Me, being completely fucking utterly stupid, decided to touch it.

   I felt a wave of energy run through my veins. I clutched shut my eyes and when I opened them, I was in a forest.

   Expecting something more exciting? Sorry.

   Me, obviously, freaked the fuck out.  I yelled out multiple curses ranging from 'Fuck' to 'Cock Muncher' to nothing in particular. I was scared. The forest was freaky. Dark. It just reeked of evil. I held tight my trumpet, which was luckily still with me. I tremble down and whispered the good ol' phrase "There's no place like home," as I slowly walked one way with hopes of finding the end of this place.

   I kept looking around for any dangers. I didn't see any. But, I knew better. There is always more then what you just see. That fact held through, as I heard loud breathing from right behind me. I slowly looked back and saw a fucking huge creature that looked like a lion with wings and a scorpion tail. 'Are you fucking kidding me!' I thought as I ran the fuck away. Years of running from cops after being yelled at for public urination helped me a bit here. With the beast in hot pursuit, I sprinted away.

   Maybe a good 10 minutes of sprinting and my legs gave out. I was gasping for air as I tried to get my legs working. I fell to the ground. Before I could get up, the creature jumped on me, pinning me down. I struggled with what little power I had, but to no avail. I screamed for help as he threw a paw at my face. He caught both my eyes and nearly blinding me. I could only see blurred shapes as he continued to go at me. With the last breath I had, I muscles my arm free and brought my trumpet to my mouth. I blew into it with all my might, letting out a very distorted note. Another paw came down on me as I blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I couldn't remember my dreams, but I can tell they were probably nightmares. Those are the only dreams I have, anyways.

   I woke up with what felt like bandages around my eyes. I let out a groan as I tried to move, but felt restraints around my arms and legs. 'Dafuq?'

   "It's awake!" A feminine voice said.

   'It?'

   "Don't go near it! It may be dangerous!" the same voice exclaimed.

   "Aw, come on, Twilight! It's tied down!" another feminine voice said, but this time a lot more tom-boyish.

   'Twilight? What the fuck kinda nick-name is that?'

   "She's righ', Rainbow. He looks dangerous!" a very southern female voice said.

    'Rainbow? That's even worse!'

   "Fiiiiiine," the Tom-boy voice gave in an exaggerated sigh.

   I let out an 'Ahem' and started to speak, but I found my voice very raspy. "Uh, hello?"

   I heard a few gasps and the first voice. " It can speak! And it knows Equestrian!"

   "Equestrian? Like horses?"

   "We are no horses, mister," the souther voice said.

   "I'd hope not! They'd be fucking strange!"

   "What's 'fucking' mean?" the tom-boyish voice asked.

   " Are you serious?" I said with a laugh.

   "Yea! What does it mean?"

   "Wow! How can you not know that? It means to get it on!"

   "Huh?"

   "You know, going to the bone yard?"

   "What?"

   "Gettin' her to Gaz?"

   "Uh..."

   "Going balls deep? Bumping uglies? Doing the horizontal bop? Taking old one eye to the optometrist? Shagging?"

   There was a brief silence. "What?"

   If I wasn't tied down, I would've face-palmed. " To have sex. It means to have sex."

   "Ooooohhhhh!"

   " But it doesn't just mean that. It depends on how you use it, like in 'Fuck You!'"

   "I... Think I understand."

   "Good, now would you mind explaining why I'm tied down?"

   "Because you may be dangerous!" the first voice I heard answered.

   "How the fuck can I be dangerous? I can't even see! I had my eyes clawed out!"

   "Oh, we healed that," Good.

   "But I still have a blindfold on, don't I?"

   "Well, yes. But I don't want you hurting anypony!"

   "Whoa whoa whoa, Anypony?"

   "Yes, anypony. Why?"

   "Why would you say that?"

   "What else would we say?"

   "Anyone, perhaps? It's not like you're a pony or some shit."

   "Um, you're not from around here, are you?"

   "I would answer that if I knew were the fuck I was."

   "I think I should take the blindfold off. Do Not Panic!"

   "Why would I panic?" with that, te blindfold came off. What I saw was something that made me almost piss myself. I saw three horses, or ponies,actually. One was Orange with blonde mane and a cowboy hat, another was Purple with black mane with purple shaded streaks within in, and the other was cyan with a rainbow mane. Each had hair styled like a human.

   I stayed still, shocked for a second. Then, I burst into laughter. "Oh man! I must've smoked some real badass weed!"

   The ponies looked at each other as I still laughed. They quickly left the room.

   I was still laughing when I saw a white face peek in. Te door quickly closed when I looked that way. Maybe 5 minutes later I was teleported into the room I am now.

   So yea. That's what happened. I know very little since I read a few books in this room. I found out about the Pegasus and Unicorns and shit. As I write this, I still am betting on this being a dream.

   Well, better sleep to see if it is...