Trumpets

   Chapter 21

   I walked in my white suit to probably the library. I really had no need to go anywhere else, as most were afraid of me and probably pissed their pants at the sight of me. Less were, yes. But there were still some.

   I hummed to the beat of 'Suckerpunch' (By Five Iron Fury) as I walked with such a swagger it didn't seem possible. Cause, like, you know. I'm kinda like a boss.

   'Grass grows, birds fly, and brother, I'm a fucking boss.'

   Nope. not as good as the original.

   This town was so peaceful and quant it disgusted me. I was used to the muggy air of New York and the loud cars of drug dealers and wannabe racers in their silly little Honda's passing by and honks of fucktarded drivers who think they're always correct at what they do in their car. Here, It's just so quite! The birds chirped daily and it was annoying the fuck out of me. I did enjoy seeing the stars at night, though. They are pretty awesome.

   I arrived at the abode of the purple unicorns and dragon and apparently me now and opened the door. Which was weird. It was a normal door, yes, but re doorknob didn't even work. Ponies just seem to walked through them, paying no mind to the apparently false knob. This was true with me as well. This place just doesn't make any sense!

   The seen I found inside was relatively normal. The dragon was hard at work as 'The Number One Assistant!' ad Twilight was deep within a pile of books. This time, they all seemed to be about 'Mythical Creatures' and 'Creatures from other lands.' I shrugged, not wanting to get involved, and went to the kitchen, feeling entitled to whatever I damn please. Cause like I said, I'm. A. Mother. Fucking. Boss.

   Too bad it backfired in two ways. One, nothing was really edible to me. Two, I caught Twilight's attention. "Hunter," she called to me, looking up from her book. 'Damn, she's using my real name,' I thought with a groan. This means I'm gonna get to answer lovely (and sometimes personal) questions!

   "Yeeeees?" I groaned back to her.

   "There is nothing about your species in any of my books! Would it be alright if I got information to add to one?" she asked.

   I let out another over-exaggerated groan. "For the lack of anything better to do, fine." I dragged my body to a seat by her and laid back, waiting for them.

   "Your species is called Homo Sapiens, correct?" was the first question.

   "Yup," was my reply.

   Writing it down, she asked me another. "How many different types of Homo Sapiens, or Humans, are there?"

   "What?" I really didn't understand the question.

   "I mean, we have pegasi and unicorn, what about you?"

   I surya understand. "Well, we has people from many different countries. Over 280c I believe. Not sure. There are Asians, Americans, Canadians, Mexicans who are also Hispanics, African Americans, Indians, many different kinds."

   She wrote all this down. "What are the differences between all them?" she asked.

   "Just looks, mostly. Like Americans have white skin, like me, and African Americans are shade of Brown. Americans can be African Americans and such. It's confusing. But, it's mostly colors. It doesn't really bête off shades of tan and peach and brown, no matter what race."

   She somehow got all that. "Alright. Is it alright if I ask you a personal question about your kind?"

   I smiled. "Of course!"

   "How do you... You know... Make babies?"

   "Mate?"

   "Y-yes."

   "Well, probably like you do. Penis in the hole. Nothing much to it. We don't generally do Doggy style like you ponies. Missionary is prefered. Depends what you're into."

   Writing that down, she asked on. "I saw where 'yours' is located. Were are the females?"

   "Same place, about. A little lower."

   "Alright. Do you have multiple mates, or no?"

   "Hell no! That's horrible! I may not go to church, but I ain't going to hell!" Probably.

   "What are the population numbers?"

    I thought for a second. "I think we reached 7 billion before I was taken here."

   If there was anything in her mouth, it would be on me now. "Wha-what? 7 b-billion?"

   "Yup."

   "Are you overpopulated? How do you survive?"

   "No and we make due. There's over a million in New York alone."

   "And you all just have one mate?"

   "Most. Nearly all, I guess. We are evenly spread. Even males and females."

   She sighed. "Humans are crazy!"

   "Yea, well. I care so much about what you think."

   "But you should!"

   "Why? It only leads to conflict."

   "What do you mean?"

   "Most of the fighting- and I suppose even some wars. Not sure."

   " You have conflicts? Wars?"

   "A whole lotta them. I knocked a few fuckers out. But that doesn't mean I'm bad. Or mean. I, like my country, an others, do what we gotta do."

   She looked uneasy.

   I sighed. "Do I look mean to you?" No answer. Another sigh escaped me. "Don't answer. If you need me, I'll be scaring little ponies into giving me their candy."

   She looked disgusted. "I'm fucking kidding! Ugh. Fuck it all. Bye." I walked out the door in my basses white suit.

   Man, I can even make me storming out of a house look like a boss!

   So I left with an empty stomach to one destination at mind. The edible Sugarcube Corner