Trumpets

Chapter 20

For the eyes undoubtably reading my journal, no. I do not add every detail of my life in here. Now, though, I feel I might as I am getting bored as there is nothing else to do.

So last night I, before I ended up not giving a fuck anymore, I wondered why Celestia would dare having someone watch over me. I mean, I was a knight, wasn't I? Hopefully it was a ruse, because I feel I'm going to hate it. But she must have told Twilight with such force that she had to tackle me with magic when I wasn't to the tree on time. I wasn't even really late!

But it's ok. I'll probably commit suicide anyway. I'd rather crack racist jokes with Satan trying to get on his good side so he doesn't cut my dick off then stay in this happy go lucky world.

I just had the strangest coughing fit...

I woke up the morning after being tackled (and almost molested) by Twilight with my feet dangling off the bed and my blanket ten feet away from me on the floor.

I am a very strange sleeper...

With a hardy yawn, I rose like my morning wood and stretched out.

I'm getting tired of writing my dirty thoughts. I mean, now that I read it, they are pretty bad.

Meh. They add humor.

Getting dressed in the only pair of cloths I have, I multi-task my way down the stairs and into the horrid smelling kitchen were breakfast is being cooked.

Now, these ponies stick to the 2 main food groups. Veggies and plants, and diabetes giving sugary treats. Whatever Spike, (Yes, the Dragon. He cooks.) was cooking, it smelt like cow shit. "Bro, what are you making?" I asked him, clenching my nostrils.

He turned around from what he was doing and said, "Oh, hey Hunter. I'm just making some fried Daffodils. You want some?"

Fried Daffodils.

What.

The.

Fuck.

How does that even make sense?

How?!?

Is there no god here?

Does physics not apply?

I've been saying it a lot lately, and you know what?

FUCK YOU LOGIC!

Fuck you and everything you stand for!

Logic, I hope you get AIDS!

"No thanks," I say calmly, disregarding the voices in my head.

The tantrum.

Fuck you logic!

So I just grab a book and sit down, not seeing Twilight anywhere. I was reading, pretty calmly, until Spike yelled to me. "Oh, I forgot! Rarity told me to tell you your clothes are done! She says to come over and try them on!"

I put the book down and thanked him for the info. I disliked Rarity, but the fact I get new clothes for no cost, even if they look like shit, is good by me. Plus, it gave me something to do.

I left the tree and headed towards the boutique. It didn't take me long to reach it, and I headed inside, hearing the bell ring above me. "Yo, Rarity. In hear for my clothes!" I call out.

"Just a second, Darling!" I hear her voice call back. "Just let me grab them for you!"

I whistle a tone waiting for come back. Five long ass minutes later, she does. And I gotta say, the clothes weren't shit.

Far from it.

They were a plain white tux. Yup. Plain, nothing too fancy. Just a tux.

How she made it for me, I never know. I wasn't complaining. They were nice. 'Now all I need are white dress shoes' I thought. She made me try them on and I did. They were a perfect fit. 'Fuck yea.' I thanked the annoying bitch (She just talks too much, man!) and walked back to the library with my new clothes on, in style.

Now I was truly...

A Mother Fucking...

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