Last Ditch

Spike's Last Attempt

By Fleetwood Brougham

*Note* I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This show belongs to Hasbro and it's co-producer The Hub

Chapter One

Spike could tell, this was going to BE THE DAY!

He was on his way back from the dealer in an Oldsmobile Cutlass lowrider, what was described to him by the dealer as, "The ultimate mare-magnet". He could just see Rarity's expression when he pulled up to her house. She would jump into his arms, and they would drive away into the sunset. This was GONNA WORK!

He arrived at the Carousel Boutique, the Cutlass softly mumbling garbled messages that only car buffs could understand. He parked the gas-guzzling barge in an alley across the street, where Rarity could see it. Infact, it fit so tightly, the doors would not open, and he had to put down the convertible top to get out. He took a last look at himself in the car mirror, taking time to look presentable, and walked to the door. This was the moment of truth!

He rang the doorbell, feeling very excited.

"Just a minute!" He heard Rarity's beautiful voice muffled through the wall. "Sweetie Belle, get the door!"

After a minute, the door opened, and Spike came face to face with Sweetie Belle, Rarity's younger sister.

"Hey, Spike!" She said cheerfully. "Rarity's busy at the moment. She's got this REALLY big order for 34 dresses for the RJ Coltfield Superstore in Manehattan!"

"Well," Spike hadn't meant to catch Rarity at such a bad time, but decided to press through on his plan anyway. "Can I come see her?"

"Sure!"

Sweetie Belle led him through the kitchen, and up the stairs, toward Rarity's design room. With every step, he grew more excited, for he knew that the idea was FLAWLESS!

Sweetie and Spike opened the door to see Rarity hard at work behind her sewing machine. Her hair was a mess, not being washed for several days, which was unlike the unicorn, who usually would take at the least 2 hours each day to get ready.

"Sweetie Belle, I thought I told you, no visitors- Oh, it's you, Spike."

"I'm sorry I caught you at such a bad time! If I would've known-"

Just then, a small air horn honked outside the building, and the three hurried to the window to see what was the matter. They peered out to see Scootaloo holding the horn, standing on her scooter, and Apple Bloom sitting in the wagon which usually trailed it.

"Come on, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom yelled, "We're still gonna go on that crusade, aren't we?"

Sweetie Belle scurried out of the room, down the stairs, out of sight for a few moments, until she appeared sprinting outside toward the wagon. She hopped in, and the scooter zoomed away, onto  main street, where the angry driver of a Marecury swerved to avoid hitting them, furiously blowing it's horn a single, long blast.

"Now," said Rarity, "was there something you wanted to show me?"

Spike led Rarity outside, toward the Cutlass which he had earlier parked conveniantly in an alley.

Rarity looked unimpressed.

"An Oldsmobile?"

"Yep." Spike began to build excitement, so much so that he thought he was going to explode. She was going to be his girl!

"Do you know who owns this car, Spike?"

"Why do you ask, does the thought of someone owning a car like this turn you on?"

Rarity looked at him, disgusted.

"It does the exact opposite! It has the most horrific paint job, the rims are too big, the car is too low, the convertible top color looks silly, and the body kit was installed horribly! Whoever owns this car should be hung, due to his or her horrible fashion style, which radiates through this automotive monstrosity!"

Spike was in shock, he had never heard Rarity that angry over fashion, EVER! He stumbled backwards, into the street, Rarity pulling him to safety just in time to miss an approaching Rolls-Royce.

"Oh, he's here!" Rarity seemed to cheer right up at the sight of the luxurious automobile.

"Who is this 'He'?" Spike asked in a suspicious tone.

As he was saying this, a handsome unicorn stepped out of the Rolls. He was very similar in looks to Prince Blueblood the Terrible, but with several distinct changes. This stallion's hair was a dark brown, his cutie mark a military medal of honor. This was the "He".

"Spike, I would like you to meet Irvan, a very good friend of mine!"

"Hey, little buddy, how do you do?" Irvan seemed to be patronizing the dragon, which irritated Spike very much.

"Why is he here?" Spike was getting very jealous of this Irvan only a few seconds after meeting him.

"He," chimed Rarity, "Is taking me on a dinner train to MANEHATTAN! We're going to have the loveliest of times!"

"So," Spike was getting very nervous." Is he your BOYFRIEND?"

"Well, yes," Irvan replied," I believe you could call me that."

Reality hit Spike like an 18 wheeler to the face. Rarity was not going to be his girl. This Blueblood lookalike was going to take her from him. There was no more he could do to try and win her. He had lost.

Spike burst into tears and ran away, down the sidestreet, and to the Oldsmobile he had bought with his stash of emergency gems. He had cashed in all of his favorite treats, 6 months away from gemstone season, for a lost cause. He got into the car, and unleashed his fury. He peeled out, driving away while beating the land-barge senseless, all the while Rarity and Irvan watching in shock.

"Maybe I should talk to him," Rarity inquired, thinking about the rough shape Spike was in.

"Well, you're probably right," Irvan added," but don't do it now, we're going to Manehattan!"

Rarity let out a squeal of excitement, running into the Boutique to change into her nicest dress, forgetting all about the depressed dragon.