Pony Bolo

Pony Bolo - Finding of Ponyville

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
The Bolo Series by Keith Laumer

Bipedal Celestia slipped out of the bed and padded across the room silently. She spared a glance back at their benefactor and her bipedal sister. I guess I shouldn't be jealous, I may be 'more beautiful', but she's definitely plusher and cuddlier, she thought as she slipped through the door.

In the living room, the ponies were all asleep. The Cadences, pony Luna and pony Celestia were still awake.

Her counterpart gave a soft whicker snort that showed her feelings for what Celestia and Luna had done with their master.

"If you had thought of it, or if he'd shown interest, it would have been you in there," she replied in their private code. Her counterpart frowned, because it was partially true.

Celestia stretched happily as she selected a chair to sit down in. While she would have loved to cuddle with her little ponies, she didn't want to disturb their sleep, or whatever it seemed to be.

She had enjoyed his gentleness, and that she'd been able to help somewhat with his condition. Should I tell him that his great-uncle had it worse? she briefly considered then shelved the thought, Now is too delicate a time. If I overburden him, he may tip over. He doesn't have to help us. He can shut us off, take us to pieces and erase our minds. I don't want us pushing him to consider that possibility. She stood and looked out of the window at 'the big house'. That's also something he's going to have to deal with. If they think we'll tell what they did, or if they think we're worth money, he's going to have a hard time keeping us.

She returned to her seat and watched her little ponies sleeping, carefree and heedless of what had been done to them in the past, and what threatened them in the future. And I and Luna will have to watch our tempers. Not all humans are like the ones we've met before. He and his sister seem decent, and consider the old man a perversion. I don't know if I could hurt someone to protect my ponies. And I don't know if my reticence is my own, or built in as a safeguard. She shook her head. I don't know.

She looked at the concerned expression on her counterpart's face. "We're going to have to fix that little problem," she told the alicorn, who nodded.

The night passed slowly. Celestia heard the soft sounds of the sleeping ponies, happy sounds all. Although Rainbow Dash called out Scootaloo's name once, then shifted into a happier dream. In the room where Luna was, she heard the soft scuffling that indicated he'd woken up and decided to give Luna back some of what they'd given him. Luna's soft, happy cries made Celestia smile. If he sees us as people, able to feel pleasure and pain, we will have a better chance, she considered as the sound died away.

The day began before morning, he rose, showered and headed into the kitchen before the sun had risen. Celestia stood, entered the kitchen and hugged him from behind.

"Good morning," she said.

"I think we need to get you some new clothes," he said, "While your early outfit was fetching, I need you to be a bit more intimidating. And I doubt any of my suits will fit."

"Rarity is an excellent clothing designer. She can help," Celestia said.

"How, without hands . . . " He shook his head. "Never mind, she'll show me," he said.

She grinned that he accepted, simply accepted her ponies and seemed unlikely to force them into roles they were unhappy with.

He looked at her with concern. "Something funny?" he asked.

"Something delightful," she said, "You evidently walked away from all of this. We couldn't. But when you walk away again, we'll come with you. Or at least be with people who think we're valuable."

"I'm not offering the paradise you seem to think it is," he warned, "Frontier planets means frontier. Things aren't as safe and easy as they are in the heart worlds."

"We haven't seen any of those 'safe and easy' parts. What we expect will probably be as primitive as the frontier, or your frontier will be well ahead of what we expect."

He shrugged.

The ponies had begun stirring as the sounds and smells of cooking began to fill the air. A woman in a uniform burst in and looked around frantically. Celestia released him and took a step back.

"Ooo! Ooo! Her Colonelness!" Pinkie shouted excitedly, excitedly for Pinkie Pie. She then stood on her hind legs and gave the best salute the pony-form allowed.

The shocked woman returned it. "I thought I'd catch you making breakfast, but who's the team you've got working in the warehouse?" she asked.

He stared at her open-mouthed, then shut off the heating units and still half-dressed, sprinted for the door. Celestia followed, and so did nearly every pony, save one.

"Just five more minutes," Rainbow Dash mumbled, followed by, "OW! OW! OW! I'm awake, I'm awake!"

Applejack release Rainbow after dragging her behind the others. "If them two-legged timberwolves got in among our kinfolk, this ain't no time ta be napping!" Applejack scolded angrily, then galloped off to pass the others.

The panic changed tenor as they got close enough to see that the main house was still dark, and the sound of childlike laughter sounded from the warehouse.

"Please don't tell me," Rarity lamented as she ran.

"I ain't telling nobody nothin', 'cept him," Applejack said as she passed everyone, and stopped in front of the door. "Please, uh, sir, they don't mean no harm, they're just high-spirited fillies," Applejack said, her hat over her heart, looking plaintive.

"Applejack, move," he said quietly, with a tone of command.

The farm pony moved slowly, to show obedience, but she had her say, "If there's punishment, let it fall on me."

"Applejack, you are not taking the Crusaders' punishment alone," Rarity said.

"Let's get one thing straight," he said once Applejack had obeyed, "I was more worried about my family getting in among your friends. If your friends are making the mess, you're all cleaning it up."

"That's Sugarcube Corners, it goes in bay 12," came a call from an ancient voice that could only have one source. The door opened to Granny Smith. "If you're up, you younguns git in here and work. Ha! Slugabeds lettin' the aged do all the work."

There was another burst of laughter as two familiar ponies trotted up. They looked all right, until Celestia saw their tails, which had been exchanged. They were more embarrassed than angry. The Crusaders' laughter was almost enough to push her over.

"How do two such red creatures managed to so clearly blush?" the Colonel asked her brother.

"The man was a certified genius," the man replied.

"Or an authentic wacko," the Colonel replied, as if it was a long-familiar exchange.

"Pinkie, go switch their tails back," he told her, "But be gentle, those tails are more important than you think."

"Roger, Roger, danger dodger," Pinkie said and saluted. Then trotted up to the pair. "Do you want to see a magic trick?" Pinkie asked. In the background at least 40 ponies, some without tails, pegasi without wings, or ponies with as few as two legs struggled with crates and boxes, pieces of buildings, and furniture.

"Ah," Luna began to the Colonel, "This is going to take some explaining."

"It's my grand uncle's work, that'll cover just about anything up to the sun going nova," the Colonel said, "And only stopping there because that kind of physics bored him."

"SCOOTALOO!" Rainbow shouted happily, as the filly landed on her idol's head and looked down at her face. The large mismatched wings briefly concealed the filly's total lack of legs.

"Scoots! What happened?" Rainbow asked in horror.

The filly took it in stride. "I woke up in a box, with all these great wings, and Sweetie Belle was there, and she only had three legs, and she'd taken two from Applebloom just to get around, well I figured with all these wings, I could do without legs for a little while. So Applebloom and Sweetie Belle have some of mine, and I've got these great wings!" The little pegasus took off and flew in a tight circle. "See!"

"Yeah, that's great Scoots," Rainbow Dash said nervously.

"It's what I figured you'd do," Scootaloo said earnestly as she fluttered in front of Rainbow Dash.

That did it for Rainbow, she burst into tears.

"This is a weird dream," Scootaloo said as she tried to soothe her 'tough' mentor.

"You don't know the half of it," the Colonel said.

Cheerilee and Big Mac walked back, correct tails in place, both of them looking like they'd seen Discord's soul. Pinkie was giggling about it as she Pinkie hopped back, so she'd probably blown open all her access panels and showed them her insides.

"Then I walked through an energy wall, and the colors you see after that are amazing!" Pinkie said.

"Level Six security barrier?" the Colonel asked.

"Level Seven," her brother replied, "Unique ability."

"I should hope so," the colonel replied in horror.

The approach of the two fillies worried Celestia some. Considering the use we were put to . . . she didn't want to finish the thought.

She saw the colonel scan the Crusaders, and come to the same conclusion Celestia had. Whatever there is that binds the six, also binds those three, she realized.

The entry of Pony Celestia and Pony Luna brought all work to a halt, as the ponies set down what they were doing and bowed to the two majestic equines. Bipedal Celestia and Bipedal Luna exchange glanced, then both got a stern glance from both Cadences.

'Don't muck about with ponies who are just hanging on in a nightmare', Celestia thought of Cadences' warning.

Pony Celestia coughed, and Bipedal Celestia approached. "My little Ponies, there are some things which we can explain now, others which we will need your forbearance with. Simply put, while the Celestia, Luna and Cadence some of you are familiar with can hear, they cannot speak, but we'll be fixing that. I am proud that all of you pitched in to help your friends, your neighbors and your town. Please, do continue."

Predictably, the ponies mobbed the equines, and respectfully asked questions, offered allegiance, and assured them that whatever pieces they were missing, they could still serve. Celestia did her best to hold back proud tears that her ponies could be so brave and undisturbed at such a time. The two bipeds stepped forward to offer translations, thanks and praise.

Then they returned to work at the royals' urgings. Pinkie going to fix 'the jigsaw puzzles', and the two humans and Cadences went with her. She was soon left with just herself. She watched her ponies. Ponies flying, ponies walking, some using unicorn magic to move things. Some obviously incomplete, but it didn't stop them. They accepted it and soldiered on. All of them earnestly searching for more pony pieces, or pony buildings. Granny Smith directing it all, her 'saggy, old hip' a thing of the past. Occasionally, Granny would cut out some of the incomplete or mixed-part ponies, and send then to the workshop. Since more often than not they came back whole and integrated, they were finding the parts they needed.

She sighed. Feeling melancholy again. I and my sisters have seen true evil, yet my ponies remain innocent, happy, and unaware. This is a bad dream, or maybe just a 'weird' dream. Legs and wings, and horns and tails are all just parts to be swapped. If they discuss it, they will not know the horror of this place.

She noted Twilight galloping towards her, the mare's expression one of terror and confusion.

"What is it Twilight?" she asked as the mare skidded to a stop.

"We found Discord," Twilight said.

She felt her heart grow cold. She hid her terror at what the madman would have done with a kindred soul like Discord. "Get the humans. They'll need to examine him, before we decide to do anything."

"Rarity's doing that," Twilight said and headed back the way she'd run.

She trotted after the mare, but the tone of the ponies' work took on a more subdued air.

Now they wonder what other enemies might lurk in the boxes they've been opening so casually, Celestia thought.

"It's all right," she told the ponies, "He'd as paralyzed as he would be if he were still encased in stone."

That seemed to relieve them, she thought as she caught up with the humans who had come from the workshop.

"This 'Discord', a problem?" the colonel asked. Both she and her brother were now wearing sidearms.

"The worst in Equestrian history," Celestia said.

They arrived at the crate and it was clearly Discord inside. Celestia would never forget him and what he did. While the humans did a search, Celestia took Twilight and her friends aside. "Have you found the Elements of Harmony?" she whispered, equally terrified of both possible answers.

"No, Highness," Applejack said quietly, "But Lyra and Luna are searching for them now."

Celestia nodded, then watched the two humans continue their search of Discord, and examine the readings their portable scanners could pick up. After several nerve-wracking minutes, they felt ready to share.

"You want the bad news, or the worse news," he asked.

"I can't think of anything worse that having found Discord," Luna admitted as she arrived.

"I have to agree," her humanoid counterpart added. "We got replacement vocoders," human-Luna explained, "You two should go as soon as possible."

Celestia got the hidden message that the Elements could not be found.

"Well, the bad news is, he's empty. There are mounting points and cabling for a very sophisticated brain, a whole lot of flight and 'magical' capabilities, and a huge power generation system to run all of it," the man said, "And evidence it was all once installed. Maybe even powered up."

"How can news be worse than that?" Pony Luna asked.

"It was all installed at one time," the colonel explained, "Either the pieces were subdivided among other projects. Or they were all moved to one, new chassis."

"Spike!" Twilight gulped.

"That's what I'm afraid of," the colonel said.

"Wait-a-minute," Rainbow exclaimed, "You think they build Tank-Spike out of Discord pieces." She paused and shook her head. "I can't believe I said that."

"That's what I'm afraid of," he replied to Rainbow as he closed the box. "The rest of the bad news is that if we can't find the rest of the parts, some of the others may go the same route."

"This is just too weird," Rainbow said.

"You're saying we'll have to, ah, scavenge parts from him to, complete our friends?" Rarity asked timorously.

"Afraid so," he replied.

The whole idea of using Discord as spare parts does have its appeal, Celestia said, I don't think my ponies would be happy. Although allowing Discord to rise again is not in the cards either.

"You two better get that vocoder upgrade," Bipedal Cadence said as she and Pony Cadence arrived.

"We'll keep searching here, and we'll help them search Spike," Pony Cadence said.

Celestia looked at her Equine counterpart and proceeded towards the workshop.

With the humans back there, and Cadences, who is running the repairs shop? she wondered.

"I got the horse right here, the name is Paul Revere, and here's a guy that says that if weather's clear: can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do. If he says the horse can do, can do, can do," came an all too familiar voice.

Joined in by another, "I'm pickin' Valentine, 'cause on the morning line a guy has got him figured at five to nine. Has chance, has chance, this guy says the horse has chance, if he says the horse has chance, has chance, has chance."

The two Celestias looked at each other, sighed and walked into where Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle were singing as they sorted limbs and wings by size, function and color.

"We need a new vocoder," Bipedal Celestia said as she approached.

"Okie Dokie Loki, yer Highnessship!" Pinkie said as she produced one and approached, "We've learned how to keep the blue smoke in. This stuff doesn't work once the blue smoke gets out."

"Don't worry your Highness, we've done this before, four times, and the ponies always left satisfied," Sweetie Belle assured her.

Luna and Cadence don't add up to four, Bipedal Celestia thought as the two carefully opened the hidden panels on both Celestias and began working. The pair were careful and respectful, but Pony Celestia kept staring at her bipedal counterpart with concern, especially when they hooked cables from Bipedal Celestia's throat, to Pony Celestia's.

"Thank you," the equine said as the pair removed the cables, closed the access hatches and stepped away.

The three ponies danced and clapped their hooves at their success.

"We've got parts to give you another set of legs," Sweetie Belle offered, "It wouldn't be any trouble."

"So you think a centaur look would be good?" Bipedal Celestia said.

Pony Celestia snorted and shook her head.

"Are those humans as soft as you?" Sweetie Belle asked, "Seems like they'd get hurt real easy."

"Yes, they are, and yes they can. We'll need to watch out for our benefactors," Bipedal Celestia said.

Sweetie Belle nodded.

The pair left to hunt down the Discord searchers. Unfortunately, they were all clustered around Tank-Spike.

"No where else?" Pony Celestia asked as she approached, and endured the hugs and happy noises that she could now speak.

Bipedal Celestia stayed back from the commotion. The humans approached her. Ponies with ponies, Bipeds with bipeds, a problem, or just comfort level?

"Everything from the Discord carcass is here. Without powering it up, we can't tell what the dominant personality will be, your student's assistant, your enemy, or some weird combination of the two," he told her.

"From what I know of your grand uncle, I would suspect the last. To sow terror and pain among the ponies," Celestia replied.

"Well, I think we need to lay down some carpet bombing of our own," the Colonel said, "They are probably up and gathering for breakfast. This is as good a time as any to put the fear of God and the Concordiat in them."

"Agreed," he said, "But we'll need Rarity to give you some better clothes. Fetching as it is, that's not very intimidating attire."

She looked down and understood she'd been following pony traditions, running around and working naked. She couldn't help herself, "Wouldn't this be appropriate?"

"If you were muscled like an amazon and carrying a bloodied war axe, it might be perfect, but I think you need a suit," the Colonel said primly.

Celestia nodded, then glanced over at her equine counterpart and considered just the humanoid going. We'll have to accept being separated by distance, and function. The ponies barely acknowledge me, when she's there. I wonder if this is how Luna felt. Doing the best you can, and no one notices while the glorious Celestia is there. I'm going to have to talk to Luna about that.

"Let's collect Rarity," Celestia said, "And I think there are some coveralls that could be made to serve."

Rarity was brought in to work, and had to be admonished rather forcefully, that simplicity was a virtue in human clothing. But in the end she managed 'understated elegance', modeling on the Colonel's uniform. Then the three of them proceeded towards the house.

"I can't tell which of us is more nervous," Celestia admitted. She remembered the spires and airy designs of Canterlot. The building she was approaching reminded her of the body of a crouching toad. If the toad were immense and blackened by time or fire. The windows seemed the only break in the absolutely drab sameness of the building. Even the dark stone it was made from lacked the veins of color that had so highlighted Canterlot's marble, or even the different finishes of the concrete the warehouse was composed of. This place is militantly drab, she thought as she walked.

The entry into the building changed her opinion completely. The reds and greens and golds were unnaturally vivid, like a grass-stained, bloodied gold statue, only more so. The brother and sister were not intimidated, they were disgusted. The bright artificial lighting, while the curtains remained drawn, as if not even light was permitted to enter without the inhabitants' approval.

"I take it the decor is not to your liking," Celestia said.

"I've seen brothels that weren't this gauche," he said, "And on Mantram V, that's saying something."

"They spliced in chamaeleon," the Colonel explained, "And so they paint the buildings garishly, and try to blend in. So it's easy top tell the tourists from the natives. Transhumanism, the big deal that would make us immortal gods, reduced to just another toy," she chuckled.

"Buildings that are supposed to be garish, are eyewateringly so," he concluded.

Celestia nodded and then saw what would have fit in with her ponies own garish and rococo style. She stifled her anger at the faces she recognized. The laughers, those who would tease her while her ponies suffered, or assisted in the suffering.

"Easy," the colonel soothed, "Living well is the best revenge."

They went through it too, and they survived and escaped, Celestia reminded herself, Like they'll do with my ponies.

"Well, Bootsie, and What's His Face," one of the peacocks who liked to handle the whip himself approached. "Never darken our doorstep, but where there's money in the air, come flocking back." The smiled faded and the friendliness dropped away. "You won't get a brass farthing if I have any say in the matter."

"Good thing you don't then." A woman hurried up, as flamboyantly dressed as the male and heavily made up to conceal she'd aged well before her time. "I know you couldn't make it before, but you're here now, and we can be a family again."

The hostility radiating off the younger pair towards this woman was palpable, despite them doing everything in their power to hide it.

"Celestia, our mother," the colonel offered.

The woman's good cheer curdled instantly. "That's one of his . . . toys?"

"He moved on after the toys others gave him bit back," the colonel said jovially, "Now that we've had our touching family scene, where are the lawyers?"

The woman, properly chastened, led them to a collection of much more sedately dressed men and women. They looked at the group approaching.

"You can't believe anything that bone woman has told you," one of the peacocks jumped up and announced.

The look of pain on the collection of sharks was also well hidden, but flashed through all of them.

"Good to see you," the de facto leader of the sharks said and offered a handshake to each of the three. Some of the sharks and peacocks were surprised he'd included Celestia. "I take it you're here to discuss the disposition of the warehouse."

"Quite," the colonel said and handed the leader a sheave of papers. "The original has been uploaded to your offices, but the hard copy is a courtesy."

The leader handed out the papers to the others with the air of a man ordered to turn over state secrets to the enemy. Celestia found she liked this man. He hadn't been among the torturers, and he seemed a thorough professional.

The one sane one among the petulant or perhaps pestilent children, she realized, Welcome, my counterpart.

"It seems in order, but recompense will have to be decided at the conclusion of probate," the leader said.

"I've told you what a danger they are," the idiot peacock trumpeted, "And he's taking them off to the frontier."

"Best place for them," the leader said without taking his eyes from the paper. "One could simply take her around to your club, and explain that while coupling with a machine like her is understandable, if a bit avant garde for the old school, especially if your late grand uncle programmed her. You decided to couple instead with colorful ponies with the minds of children." He looked over at the peacock. "I frankly don't know whether bestiality or pedophilia, or torture would offend your circle of friends more. But one of them would get nearly all of them."

The peacock gasped and looked as if Tank-Spike had driven over his feet. "He wouldn't!"

"The colonel certainly would," the leader said as he looked back to the paper and explained plainly, "While he took the other, Luna I believe, to the garden parties. All those 'can't be too rich or too thin' women seeing her and knowing their partners were choosing her over them, would net all of we 'parasites' a nice bundle in divorce proceedings."

Now the entire room looked on with horror.

"But I think we can prevail upon their better natures to remove themselves and the temptation from the planet, even from the core worlds. Can't we?" he asked, staring at them forcefully, all steel.

Celestia and the brother and sister barely hid their smiles. We are being ordered away, she realized, We escape, and they save face by having driven us out.

"We will clear out the material and leave with the utmost haste," the colonel said.

"Excellent," the leader said as he smiled, "Let me show you the door."

He led us back through the house, not home.

"Thank you for this, it helped bring the backsliders into line," the leader said, "And I apologize to you, your Highness, for what happened to you and your people. Not all of us are like him."

"Thank you, do we know each other?" Celestia asked.

"You and your sisters were presented to me as a one-day Solstice gift. With my rather infirm wife present," the leader said, "And promises to 'do anything.' Much to my client's disgust, Luna helped reorganized my woefully out of date files and your equine counterparts cleaned the garage, while you played, and skillfully lost, endless games of Parcheesi with my wife. Not my fault he said 'anything'. My wife in her dotage deluded herself that you were our daughter, come back from her self-imposed exile. And you played along. She had a happy day, one I have been unable to repay, until now. The estate will forward express freight transport back to your farm. The quicker you and they are away from here, the better for all."

"Thank you," Celestia said, and was joined by the brother and sister.

The leader turned and returned inside.

"I don't remember the incident, but I can guess why," Celestia admitted.

"He's not a nice man, but a decent one down deep. But he's right," the colonel said, "Having their 'toys' running around loose is slowing down the solution to the will, and making their jobs a headache."

"Will they come after us, on the frontier?" Celestia asked.

"Leave the core? Not unless the stars begin exploding," he replied and walked back to the warehouse.