Chapters As The Rush Comes
Octavia stared at herself in her new full length mirror, an apology present from her parents about the move. She was still rather upset about it, nothing a mirror could ever fix, but she figured her parents at least tried.
It was early in the morning on a Tuesday. She had school in an hour, but had gotten up early to make sure she looked acceptable. She’d always gotten up early; it was imperative if her parents made her change outfits. Rather than being yelled at for an inappropriate outfit and for making herself late for school, she simply gave herself leeway time. Usually, she didn’t need most of it, but it was nice to have anyway.
She turned to the left, then the right. Her dark grey skirt swished about her ankles, full and opaque, almost hiding her hooves. Her tail held itself high out of the back, all of her clothes having been altered to accommodate the full appendage without compromising modesty. Her top was black and long sleeved, with a high neckline that showed no cleavage and made her breasts seem smaller (which sometimes wasn’t an easy feat, as she had been blessed in said department). Her mane hung over one shoulder in a large ringlet of dark brown hair that complimented the light coffee brown of her body fur and violet eyes peered out from thick lashes underneath carefully styled and pinned bangs. Her ears were free of piercings and her face was free of makeup.
Octavia sighed before grabbing a small silver cross necklace, clasping it around her neck, the silver a sharp accent against the gray. She then grabbed a silver charm bracelet, the only charm being a treble clef that mirrored her cutie mark hidden by her skirt. Deeming herself presentable and checking to make sure her bed was made correctly, she grabbed her dark purple corduroy messenger bag and made her way into the kitchen, where her mother was busy making toast and eggs for her and her father. She hung the bag on the back of her chair before sitting down quietly.
Her mother set a plate in front of her, scrutinizing her outfit carefully before setting a plate in front of her father as well.
“You look nice, Octavia,” she said, her voice stern as she sat down across from her daughter. Octavia just bowed her head respectfully, waiting for permission to speak. “Are you excited to go to a new school? We selected only the best for our prestigious daughter, even if it has to be a public school.”
“I am excited to excel, mother, and I don’t mind if it’s a public school,” she replied softly, murmuring a quick grace under her breath before tearing her toast into bite sized pieces and dipping it into her egg. She shrank into her seat slightly as she watched her mother purse her lips.
“Well, don’t get too enthusiastic about it, Octavia. It’s edu-cation, not va-cation, so even though it is a public school, I expect the same kind of effort and excellence as before, if not more in such an environment,” she clipped out. Octavia nodded sullenly and quickly ate the rest of her breakfast.
After washing her dishes, she slung her bag over her shoulder and followed her father out to their car, and onto her first day of school in a new city.
. . .
Octavia sat outside the school, being too early to get inside yet. She’d found a bench and was going over some new music her mother had ordered for her. Her new private cello lessons wouldn’t begin until next week, but her cello would be coming through the express mail tomorrow, and her mother wanted her to get a head start on practicing.
“You’re new here, aren’t you?”
Octavia jumped slightly, startled as a voice sounded in front of her. She looked up to find a lavender colored anthro filly with long deep purple hair accented with fuchsia streaks, straight cut bangs, and a unicorn horn. She wore a modest outfit like Octavia’s, except with a more school uniform type flair.
“Oh…yes, I am,” she replied, holding out her hand. “I’m Octavia.”
The purple pony took her hand and shook it happily, moving to sit down beside her on the bench.
“I’m Twilight Sparkle. It’s nice to meet you, Octavia! Welcome to our school,” she said, crossing her legs daintily. Octavia watched her do so with mild jealousy. Her mother would have a right fit if she ever found her crossing anything, anywhere, in any way.
“Thank you,” she said politely, returning to her sheet music. After a few moments of feeling Twilight’s presence over her shoulder, she sighed. “May I help you with something?”
Twilight perked up, her ears twitching happily.
“That sheet music looks so complicated! Do you actually play this? May I see?” She asked rapidly, almost touching Octavia as she leaned forward to get a better look. Octavia sighed and handed her the sheet music, already tired of her company. Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed a neon purple, a similar glow engulfing the sheets of paper. She spread them out in front of her with her magic, flipping through them with a look of amazement in her eyes.
“This is amazing, Octavia!” She exclaimed, practically sparkling. The coffee colored filly smiled self-importantly.
“It’s not hard,” she said, her voice taking on a slightly arrogant tone at the praise. “I’ve played the cello all my life. It’s my destiny to play music, so of course, it’s really nothing.”
Twilight Sparkle just beamed.
“A musical cutie mark? That’s so cool! I got my cutie mark in magic,” she replied, and Octavia deflated a bit. Magic was definitely cooler than music any day.
“Magic? How…lovely,” she said, trying not to sound forced. Twilight just smiled more, glowing in more ways than one. Octavia tried to let it go.
The bell rang, and Twilight put the sheet music back in order before handing it back to the coffee colored filly. Octavia took it, smiling as politely as she could, placing it in her messenger bag.
“Well, Octavia, it was lovely to meet you! If you want, you’re welcome to join my friends and I at our lunch table. I know how hard it can be to be the new filly,” the purple unicorn said cheerily. Octavia just smiled wider and nodded, walking past her and into the school.
. . .
Lunch came about and Octavia already hated school. Granted, she’d hated her old private school a lot more, but the work was still ridiculous. On top of school and private cello lessons, she had all of her orchestra concerts and activities she’d have to plan around. As she sat down at an empty table to eat her packed lunch, she wondered vaguely if she’d even have time to sleep this school year. She sighed, brushing her hair off of her shoulder and pulling her tail to sit neatly beside her. She opened her lunchbox, the bland healthy assortment of food staring at her almost mockingly. She picked at it mournfully, wishing just for once her mother would let her have something sweet for dessert.
“Octavia!”
Octavia looked up as her name was called, her mouth tightening into a thin line that reminded her of her mother as she saw Twilight Sparkle jogging toward her, flanked by a few other fillies. She struggled to keep her ears up and perky, like she was interested.
Twilight sat next to her, smiling wide. Five other ponies sat down in the extra seats, all looking at Octavia with welcoming, friendly eyes. This was new to the coffee colored pony, as all of the ponies from her last school were generally distant and more concerned about their schoolwork and various competitions to care about silly things like friendship.
“Girls, this is my new friend, Octavia. She just moved here,” Twilight said, opening her pudding cup that Octavia eyed with jealousy. “Octavia, this is Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. They’re all really excited to meet you, finally!”
A sky blue Pegasus anthro filly snorted and leaned on her elbow, flapping her wings irritably as she stabbed her straw into her milk carton.
“Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up about you, going on and on about music or whatever,” she lamented (Rainbow Dash, if Octavia had kept up with the purple pony correctly). She had a spiky, punky rainbow colored mane and tail and candied ruby eyes. She was wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and a arrogant expression.
“Rainbow!” Twilight said indignantly, causing said pegasus to roll her eyes.
“Well, I for one am ecstatic to finally meet a pony of what seems to be very high class,” a pristine white unicorn filly said. Her purple mane and tail were curled carefully and she wore expensive looking clothes. Rarity, Octavia figured her name was. She looked like she belonged to such a name. “Where did you say you were from, darling?”
Octavia opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a bright pink pony who jumped up and slammed her hands down on the table with a slap.
“Ooo! Let me guess, let me guess! I love guessing, can I guess? Oh please let me guess!!” She pleaded at hyper speed, her mass of unruly light pink curls bouncing in time with the rest of her. She wore a bright blue tutu and a pink tank top that sparkled. This one, Octavia thought as she nodded cautiously, had to be Pinkie Pie.
The pink pony sprung upright, clapping her hands in glee as she jumped up and down.
“Appleloosa? Cloudsdale? Oh wait, you’re not a pegasus, ha! Silly me. Hm. Manehatten? Canterlot?? Oh please tell me I’m getting warm!” She said, and it took Octavia a moment to stutter a reply.
“I’m, uhm, I’m from Canterlot. My father moved here due to business,” she said softly. Pinkie Pie looked like she was going to explode.
“I got it RIGHT!!” She yelled, earning a hard look from the lunch room supervisor. She smiled in apology and sat down, opening her lunch box with a pop and a cloud of colored confetti. Octavia felt her heart sink. Her lunch box never did anything fun like that. Her life never did anything fun.
“Oh, Canterlot!” Rarity squealed, almost sparkling. “That is so posh! What was it like, living there? Were you near the castle? Did you go shopping? Are the boutiques marvelous?”
Octavia shrugged and pulled at her cabbage sandwich.
“I could see the castle from my room, but I wasn’t allowed to go shopping downtown very much,” she said regretfully. Rarity pouted and turned to primping her mane in a small mirror on her lunch box.
“That’s too bad, darling, I’ve heard something else about the downtown,” she sighed. An orange pony with blonde hair and freckles rolled green eyes at her.
“Don’t you listen t’ Rarity, she’s a bit outta her element in this town, if yah catch mah drift,” she said, her accent strong. She wore a white shirt under a jean vest with jean shorts and her mane and tail in ponytails. Applejack, Octavia ticked off mindlessly, wanting to get up and just walk away.
“She’s not the only one,” the coffee colored pony replied, slightly morosely. A yellow pegasus gave her a look of sympathy underneath a heap of straight pink hair. Fluttershy.
“It…it’s hard to move, isn’t it?” She nearly whispered, tilting her head forward so that more of her mane covered her face.
“It is,” Octavia replied. “But it’s nothing I can’t handle. I have plenty to keep me busy that isn’t any different from Canterlot.”
She took a hesitant bite of her sandwich, hating it and hating the cheer and bond these ponies had with each other. Even though they’d made snide comments and poked fun, that’s all it was-fun. She could tell they were close, and she hated that. She hated that they had what she didn’t. She looked up to see Pinkie Pie not three inches from her, staring at her with large blue eyes.
“May I help you?” She said crossly, leaning away from the pink earth pony. Pinkie looked at her sandwich, then back to her, then to her sandwich, then frowned.
“What is that?” She asked, poking it. Octavia jerked it away, confused.
“My…lunch?”
Pinkie Pie shook her head and snatched the sandwich from Octavia, sitting back down in her seat and ignoring the music pony’s protests. She opened the sandwich and made a disgusted face.
“Now hold on! Cabbage shouldn’t ever be used as a main course! This is blasphemy! Where’s your dessert? The sugar? THE GOOD STUFF??” Pinkie demanded, throwing the sandwich on the table in anger. Octavia stared at her incredulously.
“I…I’m not allowed to have anything sweet,” she said, even more confused than before. Pinkie Pie grew pinker in the face and all the other fillies looked at her nervously.
“Oh hell…” Rainbow Dash muttered, scooting away. Twilight just laughed nervously.
“Pinkie Pie, not everyone’s parents own a sweets shop,” she scolded gently. “Some parents are concerned about their foal’s health, it’s not a bad thing.”
Pinkie Pie glared at Twilight. With a harrumph, she began rooting through her lunch box, confetti pieces fluffing out occasionally. After a few moments, she produced a brightly decorated cupcake.
“Here! This is the only stuff you need,” she said triumphantly, handing it to a very surprised Octavia. It was red velvet cake with pink frosting, decorated with round rainbow sprinkles. The paper had a balloon pattern on it.
“Thank…you…” she said softly, peeling the paper off slowly and taking a small bite. It was strange, how much she’d forgotten about sweets. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a cupcake.”
“Whaa? That’s crazy talk!” Pinkie exclaimed. Octavia shrugged, taking a larger bite. “You should be glad I intervened, can you imagine what would have happened if I didn’t? CHAOS! It’d be chaos! And only Fluttershy’s boyfriend wants that.”
Fluttershy immediately blushed a deep red, staring at Pinkie.
“He’s…he’s n-not my b-b-b-boyfriend…” she stammered, embarrassed. Rainbow Dash just grinned mischievously and leaned on the table.
“Oh yeah? Then what were you two friends doing sucking face out behind the art building yesterday?” She teased, and Fluttershy made a choking sound. “That’s what I thought.”
Before Octavia could figure out what they were going on about, a voice cut through the lunch room.
“Yo, Rain-bow Dash!”
Octavia froze in the middle of her cupcake, staring at the pony making her way over to their table. She was lithe, with white fur and a delicate white unicorn horn spiraled underneath shockingly colored hair. Her mane and tail were spiked crazier than Rainbow Dash’s, light blue against ocean blue, and her eyes were a deep crimson color. Brightly colored bracelets lined her wrists, made out of plastic beads of different shapes, and her clothes were tight and revealing. Her tank top was neon blue and far too low cut to be any sort of appropriate, even though she wasn’t very well endowed. Her shorts were definitely short, and had cutie pockets, circles cut out of the sides to show off her black quarter note cutie marks. Giant purple sunglasses rested on top of her head precariously as she almost tackled her pegasus friend.
“Yo yourself, Scratch! What up? I thought you were suspended,” Rainbow Dash said, stealing the unicorn’s glasses and putting them on.
“Eh? Oh yeah, that. Well, you know, I’m in the office, cut to thirty minutes later, boom, here I am, free of charge,” the unicorn replied, straightening up and snatching the glasses back. “And man, come on, I wasn’t even doing anything that bad! Just…tryin’ to superglue cotton balls together, that’s all. Easy mistake.”
Octavia felt Twilight tense up next to her and glanced over questioningly. Twilight huffed and took a sip of her carrot juice.
“That’s Vinyl Scratch,” the purple unicorn explained quietly to Octavia. “She’s Rainbow’s friend, but honestly, I don’t approve. She’s…a bit wild, if you know what I mean. Parties a lot.”
Octavia opened her mouth to reply, but was once again interrupted as Vinyl Scratch laid her upper half across the table, forcing some of the ponies to move bits of their lunches with annoyance.
“What do my ears hear? Gossip? Rumors? About me?” She chirped out breathlessly, forcing a good girl type of voice. “You are all too kind, Sparks, looks like my reputation precedes me.”
Twilight just rolled her eyes and grumbled underneath her breath, which Vinyl ignored with glee.
“You’re the new girl, aren’t you? The pretty, posh princess straight from Canterlot,” she said, smirking. “I hear the raves are a blast there. Ever go?”
Octavia tensed as Twilight had done, scrutinizing her cupcake instead of the pony in front of her.
“No, I didn’t,” she replied quietly but primly, like her mother would do. In truth, she didn’t even know what it was she wasn’t going to; she’d never heard of a rave.
“Aww, shame shame. You seem like you really party hard,” the unicorn said sarcastically, reaching over and suddenly swiping a chunk of frosting off of her cupcake. Octavia frowned and glared at Vinyl Scratch.
“Don’t touch things that aren’t yours, especially other ponies’ food! I have no idea where your filthy hands have been!” She snapped, setting the cupcake down on the other side of her lunchbox, away from the white pony.
Vinyl sneered at her, sticking her frosting covered finger in her mouth, making the action far more sexual than it needed to be. Octavia flushed furiously and refrained from slapping the unicorn.
“Yeah, of course you don’t, cuz the places they’ve been you don’t even know exist in your little sheltered princess life,” Vinyl retorted, standing upright with a huff and a flick of her mane. “Enjoy your bubble-pony lunch, princess.”
Octavia clenched her teeth as the unicorn sauntered away from the table, emphasizing the swivel in her hips with an extra swish in her tail. The coffee colored pony stared at her lunchbox for a moment, then at the mauled cupcake she no longer felt like eating. Knowing the white unicorn, she was probably some nasty slut with her fingers in places they didn’t belong.
But she’d be damned if she didn’t wish she had that kind of self-confidence.
The flush stayed on her cheeks as she willed herself to stay strong and keep the tears out of her eyes. She quietly and carefully packed up her partially eaten lunch, zipping the lunchbox closed and picking up her backpack. She pinched the cupcake between two fingers, careful not to touch the frosting, and forced a small smile to the group as she stood.
“It was lovely sitting with you girls, but I have some things I must attend to,” she said, her voice steady, but her insides wavering. “Thank you again, Pinkie Pie, for so kindly sharing your dessert with me.”
Pinkie smiled with a brightness to rival the sun.
“Anytime, friend o’ mine! Hey, lookie there, I rhymed!” She said, snorting with laughter at her own mite of cleverness. “It’s about time, I was getting as sour as a lime, gotta keep…uhm…ah…oh well! Brine!!”
The pink pony dissolved into giggles, and Octavia felt her smile become more strained. She turned with a twirl of her skirt and her tail, waving primly as a chorus of good-byes followed her departure. She walked out of the cafeteria as fast as she could without seeming strange, trying to keep her composure and remember where her locker was located. She threw the cupcake in the trash as soon as she was out of sight of the others. Her steps quickened as she neared the metal storage unit, and her fingers fumbled on the lock as she jerked it open. She shoved her lunch box inside and slammed it shut, jamming the lock shut and hurrying to the filly’s room, locking herself in a stall, finally able to break down without being noticed or judged or teased.
Her vision blurred and she hugged herself tightly, hot tears sliding down her cheeks making her ugly and pathetic. She knew she was sheltered, but wasn’t that where mother always said it was safe? Don’t go outside, Octavia, there could be nasty foals. Don’t touch that, Octavia, it’s full of germs. Don’t eat that, it’ll make you fat. Don’t wear that, people will think you’re a prostitute. Don’t think that, you’ll go to hell.
Don’t live, Octavia. It’s bad for you.
She choked out a sob, leaning over slightly and hating everything around her. This public school with all its free ponies with nice parents who didn’t keep their foal in a bubble. Twilight and all of her happy friends with their pretty lunchboxes and cute clothes and fucking Vinyl Scratch with all of her confidence and cutie pockets and sex appeal. Octavia wished she hadn’t thrown the cupcake away. She’d stuff her face with the sugary treat and then maybe that’d fill the aching hole in her heart. Or maybe she’d just get fat and then her mother would really have a reason to hate her.
She sniffled loudly and stared at her long skirt and sleeves with absolute contempt, wishing she had the guts to cut her own cutie pockets and show all the other ponies her cutie mark. The one thing she was good at, the one thing she loved, the one thing she was proud of. Even that was controlled and overused and sat upon by her mother’s heavy fat flank, turning her destiny into its own special kind of hell.
She hated herself. She hated Twilight Sparkle. She hated her mother. She hated Vinyl Scratch, and Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, and she hated her cello and she hated her school and…
She sighed, biting back a wail. She couldn’t do this anymore. She…she just couldn’t.
Fresh tears fell from her eyes as she stood up straight and squared her shoulders, taking a deep shuddering breath. She couldn’t do this anymore, but she had to. It’d be worse for her if she let down the people who expected so much from her. She was strong. She was confident. She was intelligent. She was beautiful and talented.
Wasn’t she?
Sniffing again, she pulled out some toilet paper and blew her nose, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. She took another deep breath, steadier this time around. She picked up her bag, trying to forget that she just let herself wallow in such low self-pity like that. If only her mother could see her…
She unlocked the stall door and opened it, shaking her head of the image. She didn’t ever want her mother to see her like that. It was bad enough having been scolded for tears as a child. She didn’t want to imagine what her mother would do if she saw her crying now.
“Whoa, man.”
Octavia gasped, her hand flying to her chest as her eyes looked up to see Vinyl standing there, looking like she’d just walked into the bathroom. She immediately dipped her head, hiding it behind her mane as well as she could, pulling her ears back.
“Oh…you…you startled me,” she breathed, her heart leaping into her throat as she realized what a mess she must look like. How long had Vinyl really been there, listening to her shame? Octavia almost felt like crying again out of sheer embarrassment. How dare she be so careless and let someone see her weak, let alone someone like Vinyl.
“Hey…um, fuck, were you crying?” The white unicorn asked, the profanity making her awkward worry seem false. Octavia searched for the small amount of anger she always had stored away for social interactions, to bring it out and create the pompous mask everyone was familiar with, the one she could easily hide behind.
“I wasn’t doing anything of the sort,” she snapped, striding over to the sink and turning it on, washing her hands with more force than necessary. She saw Vinyl giving her a strange look in the mirror. “What? Can’t a filly get any peace while she’s washing her hands?”
Vinyl harrumphed.
“You know, if you were crying about what I said, I’m sor—“
“I don’t need your pity. Now, if you please, I don’t associate with your type. Leave me alone,” Octavia interrupted, shaking the water off her hands and pulling out a paper towel to dry them on. She checked her eyes, making sure they weren’t too puffy or noticeable. She saw Vinyl’s face tighten in anger, and almost grinned to herself triumphantly. Now Vinyl was the one who felt stupid, not her.
“You’re just jealous,” the white unicorn said suddenly. Octavia froze, her heart turning to ice.
“Excuse me?” She asked dangerously, turning slowly to face Vinyl Scratch. The blue haired pony smirked and crossed her arms.
“You’re jealous,” she repeated. “You’re upset and you’re pissed off cuz everyone has what you don’t. You lash out to make yourself feel better, because your pride is the only thing you get that’s good.”
Octavia was struck dumb, her jaw working uselessly for a moment. How…how dare this…this lowlife…this…
Sucking in a sharp breath, she decided to not finish her thought process, and slapped Vinyl across the face as hard as she could instead.
The days following the slapping incident were tense ones.
Rainbow Dash refused to speak to Octavia (which she was quite alright with, as she hadn’t liked the blue pegasus much to begin with) and opted instead to snicker behind hands with Vinyl across the lunchroom. Twilight was mildly miffed at Rainbow’s display of cattiness, having only given Octavia a simple smug smile of approval once she learnt of the occurrence. The others hadn’t much cared, giving the coffee colored pony the same amount of attention and friendliness as before. Octavia tried to be as anti-social as possible, making up excuse after excuse to leave lunch early or to not be around the five ponies who were so desperately trying to be her friend.
Today was no different. She sat in the corner of the lunch table, ignoring hateful looks from Rainbow Dash and not even daring to think about Vinyl Scratch. Twilight was struggling to engage her in some weak conversation about music theory (in which she was terribly misguided on her information) and Pinkie eyed her healthy lunch in disgust, chewing almost angrily at a piece of white and yellow taffy. Applejack was going on and on about something her family had done that weekend, Fluttershy had opted to spend lunch with her not-boyfriend Discord, and Rarity was (as always) preening into the mirror in the lid of her bedazzled lunchbox. Octavia picked at a piece of limp, overcooked clover and sighed, sealing it neatly back into its bag and closing up her lunchbox. She turned to Twilight with the most pleasant expression she could muster and stood.
“I’m sorry, I forgot I have to be in early for orchestra practice. Since I moved, there’s been a delay in my lessons and I need to get caught up,” she said politely, forcing a smile. Twilight paused in the middle of her sentence and beamed up at Octavia.
“Of course! I know how important your studies can be,” she replied. “We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Ah, yes,” Octavia said lightly. “Tomorrow.”
“Oh, and don’t take what Dash is doing too hard. She’ll get over it, she always does,” Twilight continued. Pinkie nodded, her mouth bulging with taffy.
“Yah!” She muffled out, then swallowed with some difficulty, chasing it down with some cherry flavored sodapop. “I’ll talk to her, get things straightened out. Even she knows what a meanie butt Scratch can be sometimes!”
“That’s perfectly alright, don’t trouble yourself on my account,” Octavia said quickly, grabbing her bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And with that she left, her skirt whisking about her legs as she went, trying to leave before Dash or Vinyl got the strange idea to follow her or something of the like. The orchestra practice room was right next to the lunchroom, so it was a short walk, thankfully. She’d put her cello in her assigned locker earlier that morning, so there wasn’t any fuss as she turned the dial and pulled the latch open. She lugged out the large instrument and carried it to an empty chair. There was no one else in the room, since it was lunch, and the ponies at the public school cared far less about their academics than the ones at her private school did.
She sat down primly and opened the case, setting her cello up with care. Even if she was forced to practice until her fingers bled and excel at concerts until she choked, this was still her special talent. Her one thing that she was most good at out of anypony else. And that was something that she coveted dearly.
The first drag across the strings was always the most chilling, as the instrument warmed to her touch and quivered by nanometers through the music. It sent warmth to her heart and reassurance to everywhere else. The second note was quickly followed by the third and fourth-fifth, and soon a solo symphony was dribbling from her fingertips like perfect streams of clear water, sad and liquid and beautiful. She allowed herself to be lost in the music, wrapping around her like a blanket and blocking out everything else: her mother, Vinyl Scratch, the school, her entire life. All of it disappeared and all she focused on was the beauty she made at her fingertips.
She played for who knows how long. Minutes. Hours. Days? It all melded together into one stretch of existence, beautiful and languid and fluid and—
A sharp click startled her and broke her concentration, causing a sour note to eek its way out of the cello strings. Octavia blinked as she struggled to return from her trance like state, looking around to see what had caused her to jump. Her gaze landed upon the door to the music room, which had been opened and shut, making the click upon its closure. A familiar looking white unicorn with blue hair was standing there, arms crossed and looking at her with scrutiny. Octavia drew herself up straighter than straight, adopting the equally familiar expression of arrogance.
“To what do I owe such an interruption?” She clipped out, annoyed at having to stop what she was doing to deal with somepony who wasn’t worth her time. Vinyl just shrugged, the movement combined with crossed arms causing her shirt to ride and slip in a rather randy way. Octavia tore her eyes away from the unicorn, choosing to stare at the door beside her instead.
“Oh, not much, just curious to see who was that good at the cello, since all the cellists here suck shit,” the white unicorn replied airily, not moving her gaze from the brown pony. “I didn’t know you were so good at cello.”
Octavia sniffed and flicked her bangs back from her face with a small, triumphant grin.
“But of course I am, it’s only my destiny,” she boasted, empowered by the compliment. “Though, I doubt you know how it feels to be good at an actual instrument, word around here is that your destiny is confined within the boundaries of…’technology’.”
Vinyl stared at her in shock for a moment, sending another surge of confidence through Octavia. Finally, something she could hold high, high, high above this free, wild pony. A moment of silence hung in the music room, unbroken due to walls that diminished sounds from outside.
“…I’m sorry, I thought I just heard you say that I didn’t know how to play a fucking instrument,” Vinyl said dangerously, standing upright and tightening her arms around her torso. Octavia just shrugged as lightly as Vinyl had done earlier, mockingly. The white unicorn took a step toward her, a dark look on her face. “That’s what you think then?”
No answer. Octavia wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of it, naturally. Maybe if she kept her mouth shut, Vinyl would just go away. She wasn’t surprised when the filly took a few more steps in her direction, her posture challenging.
“You think that just because you can play your silly little cello better than most that that is something to boast about?” She continued, her voice slowly rising in volume. “Just because it’s your fucking destiny to play the measly cello? Out of all the fucking instruments to be good at and you’re good at the one everypony and anypony can learn how to play well?”
Octavia shifted slightly, beginning to get uncomfortable.
“Why, of course. The cello is a very complex instrument, and to get it to really sing, one almost needs a dest—“
Vinyl cut her off harshly.
“The cello is one of the simplest instruments out there! That’s why fifth year foals choose to play it when they start music! That’s why there are so many fucking cello players out there, Octavia. You’re nothing fucking special with your fucking talent, so quit acting like it sets you up on some precious pedestal in the gates of heaven!”
Octavia opened her mouth to protest, but was cut short again by the white filly’s now shouting rant.
“And you even have the fucking nerve to assume that I can’t play an instrument if it isn’t keys on a computer! If you haven’t fucking noticed, my cutie mark is a fucking eighth note, and those are fucking everywhere in everything, digital or classical! I’ve played three different instruments in school alone since I was in first grade! I’ve got more instruments than you can imagine sitting in my room tuned to perfection and played on a daily basis because I, as any other musically inclined pony should, respect the blending of eras as one sound! My instruments were never forced on me. How many fucking concerts have you actually willingly gone to, you fucking momma’s filly?”
Octavia stood suddenly, holding her cello tightly by the neck.
“Every concert is willing! I love my music! You have no idea what it’s like to be a musician, you’re just a fake who presses keys and plucks strings that sound nice enough to make it into your obnoxious rackets!” She yelled. “I was never forced into anything!”
Octavia was good at lying. Especially to herself.
“You were playing the Paganini Caprice 24,” Vinyl spat. “My least favorite piece. And you’re playing it with the flair of a tutored pony. It’s a boastful piece without any true feeling behind it. I would know, I fucking taught myself how to play it because at one point, I felt just like you-like I had to learn! But unlike you, my parents never put me through anything I didn’t want to go through.”
“You can’t say anything about how I am or how I play! You don’t know me!” Octavia shot back, her ideas for comebacks starting to fail as she reached for anything she could to throw back at the unicorn.
“You don’t know me either, bitch! I can play the goddamn hurdy gurdy, you have no fucking place to tell me anything, you one trick pony!” Vinyl screamed, her horn glowing slightly from the sudden burst of rage. Octavia took a tiny step back, and the blue haired pony turned on her heel and stomped back to the door. Before she left, she glanced over her shoulder.
“Just because you don’t have what everyone else does, doesn’t mean you can make nasty assumptions about ponies who could learn to be your fucking friends,” she said acidly, and was gone with a swish and a slam. Octavia stood there for a moment, stunned, her grip slackening on her cello. She hated it. She hated that Vinyl was right. She hated herself. She didn’t want to assume. She didn’t want to fail. But she had. Of course she wasn’t better than anypony else. Her cello wasn’t going to get her anywhere in this day and age. It was common. It was easy. It was useless.
She’d been born with a useless destiny.
The thought hit her very suddenly, and her fingers went limp against the strings. Her cello, the one thing she had always counted on to keep her sane and important to at least someday, fell to the hard linoleum with a thud and a twang, her heart falling with it.
Author's Note
May I just point out that I don’t really care if Tavi’s grey or not. She’s always, ALWAYS looked slightly brown to me. So brown in my fiction she shall stay, until I see it fit to fix.
Onward ho! This poor fuckin’ filly… she just can’t catch a break…
“Hello?”
“Mother…” Octavia bit her lip nervously, trying to keep her voice from wavering. She heard a disgruntled sigh from the other end.
“Octavia, there had better be a good reason you are phoning me from school, I am at work, and if this is not an emergency—“
“My cello. It..it broke,” Octavia said, not bothering to feel bad about cutting off her mother’s tirade. There was silence. Then a click. Then the dial tone. Octavia held her breath as she set the phone in its cradle and thanked the office secretary quietly.
She turned, and left for class.
It didn’t surprise her when she got called out of class to go back to the office twenty minutes later. As much as she wanted to meander, she knew what awaited her if she did. So with her head held high and her skirt swishing about her hooves, she strode promptly down to the office, struggling to emotionally detach herself from what was about to happen.
She took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Her mother stood there, tall and sharp and proud. Angry. Livid. Octavia cast her eyes to the floor as she moved out of the doorway.
“Well, do you have any lazy excuses to pelt me with, you lazy excuse for a child?” Her mother said, her voice cold. Octavia shook her head.
Of course, this dissatisfied her mother.
“I would have thought for sure you would have come up with something, Octavia. Breaking an expensive instrument like that doesn’t just happen.”
The corners of Octavia’s mouth turned down further. No, she thought. It doesn’t.
“I’m not surprised it did happen, considering you’re in such a place. I cannot believe you would allow yourself to be around such petty ponies. Ponies with appendages that make them lazy and stupid have no right to be around you, who has to work hard to validate your existence.”
Octavia caught Twilight Sparkle’s eye, who was sitting behind the one desk as an office aide, in the middle of lifting a page with her magic, looking very meek and very upset as she pulled it out of the air with her hands and set it down gently.
No, she thought. They didn’t.
“I cannot fathom why you are being such a difficult foal. You were difficult from the beginning. Your father and I work very hard to give you all you’ll ever need, and you squander our hard work like it’s something dispensable,” her mother continued, her tone getting harsher with each sentence. “You know we cannot afford you a new cello. Why, we couldn’t afford to send you to the private school.”
But, she thought. You can.
“And you just continue to spiral into a delinquent foal who is disrespectful to me and your father and your elders. I am done with it, Octavia. You will not be allowed a new cello unless you are able to buy one of your own. You are grounded until I see fit to lift the punishment. You are to study your sheet music verbally until you provide yourself with a new instrument.”
Octavia’s mind blanked out, no longer trying to wonder how much allowance she’d have to save up to get herself a new cello.
“And furthermore,” her mother said, her voice turning nasty, eyes snapping over to Twilight, who nearly cowered underneath the desk, “I don’t want to hear of any more… ‘friends’. You have no time, use, or need for friendship, especially any of this quality. I expect your homework to be finished by six tonight, or you’ll be missing dinner to finish it. Good-bye.”
And with that, there was a breeze and a click and her mother was gone.
Octavia sucked in a breath and forced a practiced indifferent expression on her face. She looked up and nearly lost the façade as she saw Vinyl standing in the hall behind the desks, frozen and staring at her with ruby eyes. Her cheeks flushed and the earth pony spun immediately to walk out of the office, almost slamming the door behind her.
Fucking Vinyl Scratch.
The pony of many instruments, the pony that didn’t have to do what her parents told her to do, the pony who got to make her own decisions. The pony that wasn’t a puppet.
Octavia sniffed loudly in the empty hallway, her hooves clicking against the linoleum as she took her meander from earlier and used it to go back to class.
It was so unfair.
Why did she have to end up with the dime a dozen cutie mark, the drabbest color scheme she’s ever seen on a pony, clothes that were always so stuffy and hot but required because she was a “lady”. She crossed her arms around her stomach and gulped back a sob. She couldn’t even keep it together long enough not to cry for five minutes, what made her think she deserved anything but what she got?
Her mother was right. She was always right. Octavia was the worst child. No matter what she did, it was never good enough. She tried too hard or she didn’t try enough. There was no in between. She couldn’t find the in between.
And that made her a failure.
Octavia slowed her steps and stopped, her head hanging and her throat tight and stinging from holding back her tears. She couldn’t do this anymore. She was past the point of being able to do this. She couldn’t win. She was never going to be a famous cello player. She was never going to be free. She was never going to succeed. Because her destiny was not the cello. It was synonymous with failure.
A hiccup broke a sob from her throat, and the floodgates opened, tears immediately falling down her cheeks. She shoved her hands against her muzzle, struggling to muffle the sudden onslaught of crying that hit her. Glancing about, she quickly shuffled to a small break in the lockers, squeezing herself inside and making herself as small as possible.
A fine effort, she thought with a pained whimper, seeing as I’m too fat to wear pretty clothes or eat sweet things like the other ponies.
Hollow hurt streaked through her belly and she crouched over, the sobs tearing through her harder as her thoughts spiraled downward, turning in on themselves in circles. She was glad the hallway was empty for the next thirty minutes still; no one would be able to see her crumble.
This time, she didn’t know if she’d be able to get back up. Was this rock bottom? What else was left? She had no friends or possibility of friends, her mother had made sure of that. She had no cello. She had no time. Not anything left.
She didn’t even have her dignity.
What else could she hold above the others? The fact that her mother was better because she drove Octavia to madness trying to get her to succeed in standards set far too high? That she could do whatever lame thing she did without wings or magic? Vinyl was right. She didn’t have what everypony else had. And that had turned her into a terrible pony who just made other ponies’ lives terrible to make herself feel better about her failure.
She stared at the locker in front of her through blurred vision.
She was a failure, and she couldn’t be fixed.
She should just take herself away, away from everypony she could possibly disappoint.
That was everypony.
To take herself away from everypony…
She took a deep, shaky breath.
Well, that wouldn’t be too hard, she reasoned. She was sure there was some sort of drug she could amass in large quantities, over a little bit of time. Maybe even some poisons, already right there, sitting underneath the sink in her house. It’d be painful, but physical pain was nothing. Nothing compared to this.
She sniffed and wiped her nose carelessly on her sleeve, blinking.
Maybe she should research it, find out the very best way before she actually tried anything, maybe—
Something touched her shoulder gently, and she gasped, standing up straight and whirling around.
“Hey…”
Vinyl was there, mumbling that awkward greeting at her, sunglasses off and eyes worried. Octavia felt a flash of anger pang through the sadness, and another sob ripped through her throat.
“What? Have you come to laugh at me? To gloat because you were right?” She spat, her words breaking and strained with crying. “Because you were. You were always right. And I hate you for that. I hate that you’re right. And I hate you because you’re you. You get everything. I’ve got nothing. Nothing!”
Vinyl didn’t respond, waiting. Octavia heaved with frantic deep breaths, anger rushing through her and coming out at the unicorn because she was angry and she was sad and dammit if she was going to be mad at anypony right now, it’d be Vinyl fucking Scratch because nopony else was in front of her to get mad at.
“You can play any instrument, you’re useful, you’re beautiful, you get to wear and eat whatever you want, you have parents who don’t force you to do anything, and I hate you for it, I HATE YOU!” She ground out through her teeth, using her hands to make her point, flailing them about. Tears rushed down her face, but she didn’t care. She was beyond caring. She wanted to hurt Vinyl. She wanted to hurt her mother. She wanted to hurt herself.
She didn’t continue, unable to put anymore feelings into words without slapping Vinyl again. And even though that sounded wonderful right now, she didn’t need her mother coming back into the office and dragging her home to worse punishment. So she stood there and panted and cried and glared at Vinyl, who looked down at the floor, nodded a few times, then looked back up at her.
And hugged her.
Octavia froze, her tears never stopping, but her heart might as well have. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been hugged, by anyone. Not even her parents had hugged her in a time she could remember.
She couldn’t move, unable to process what was happening. She’d just told this unicorn, who didn’t seem to take anything from anypony, that she hated her for everything she was, and she was hugging her? What was going on? What was she getting at? What did she want?
“Octavia…it’s okay,” Vinyl whispered softly, squeezing the surprised earth pony. “It is. It’s always okay. Don’t worry. I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry. It’s okay. Please don’t cry, I can get you another cello, it’ll be fine, it’s okay…”
Octavia made a small noise in the back of her throat and snaked her arms around Vinyl’s lithe form, hugging her back tightly, her shoulders shaking with new sobs. She was past figuring out what was happening. All that mattered was that it was.
“N-nopony has ever b-been th-this nice to m-me,” she stuttered into Vinyl’s warm shoulder, her cries getting a bit too loud for an empty hallway. “Y-you and T-t-twilight and j-just everypony…and I’m j-just so mean…I’m so-sorry…I really am…”
Vinyl stroked her mane softly, humming lightly.
“Hey, it’s just like I told you, Tavi, it’s okay…” she murmured. “Now stop crying, you’ll freak out a teacher and then we’ll have hell to pay trying to explain shit…”
Octavia squeezed her harder and sniffled back a laugh. Only this pony could say something like that in the midst of such a moment.
Vinyl pulled back slightly to look Octavia in the eye, a crooked smile on her face.
“Ooooh, was that a laugh I heard?” She teased lightly, her hands strong on the earth pony’s shoulders. Octavia couldn’t stop the small smile that formed.
“N-no…” she replied back, just as teasingly.
“Ahh!! Nope, it was! Got ya to smile! Haha, awesome!” The white unicorn crowed triumphantly, her smile growing. She rubbed the tears off of Octavia’s cheeks with her thumbs and pulled her ears back upright. “There, now you can’t be sad anymore. I took away all your weapons of sadness.”
Octavia blushed and looked away. Of course she caused trouble, even for her enemies. She just couldn’t win, could sh—
“Oi, get those bad thoughts out of your heart,” Vinyl ordered suddenly, grabbing her chin and forcing Octavia to look her in the eye. “They’ll get you nowhere. Now, you did apologize. Awesome. I admire that. So here’s the offer I’m making you. You ditch your snooty booty attitude and I give you my old cello, in tune and great working condition, for free. But you gotta be my friend. And the other girls’ friend, because Dash said they all really like you a lot. ‘Kay?”
Octavia sniffed again, pulling her hands up in front of her muzzle shyly, unsure of how to react now that she had no defenses left to hide behind.
“Why’re you being so nice to me?” She asked softly. “I was so rude…to all of you.”
Vinyl shrugged.
“You were hurting. I get that. Not really an excuse, but at least you weren’t doing it just because, you know?” She replied. “So…is that a yes?”
Octavia sniffed and folded her hands down in front of her.
“Yes,” she said, pulling her chin up and nodding for effect.
Vinyl Scratch beamed, hooking her arm in Octavia’s.
“Awesome. I thought you’d never humble,” she joked. “Now let’s go get your shit, I’ll have Twily get you out of your classes for the rest of the day. We got a fuck load of homework to finish before six.”
Author's Note
Yeah, wow, people, I didn't know you were itching for a story that's NOT MY STORY.
You guys have no patience, I swear.
Just relax. There will be romance. For Octavia to grow, she must realize first what she is doing is wrong. To do so, she must be called out on her bullshit. Let this happen.
Vinyl sighed dramatically, throwing herself to lay on the table. Octavia shot her a glance for being so loud in the library, which the unicorn ignored.
“Dammit, how d’you do all of this?” She whined, squinting at one of Octavia’s math assignments. The earth pony gently guided her off the papers and restacked them neatly in their proper subjects.
“It’s not that hard, Vinyl, there are only so many answers you can get to a question,” she replied, writing something down. Vinyl looked at the paper and huffed.
“Easy for you to say,” she griped. “This is like…college level work! How do you expect to even do this at your age? This is ridiculous.”
“I’m used to it,” Octavia sighed. “Being in gifted classes all your life will do that to a pony, I suppose.”
Vinyl blew a blue strand of hair out of her face.
“Well, this bites. No wonder you were on the verge of a breakdown, nopony should have to endure this kind of torture,” she grumbled, choosing to work instead on an English assignment. She squinted at it, with her sunglasses on, then off, then on again, but seemed to struggle with that one too. Octavia glanced at her and smiled, just barely.
“What?” Vinyl asked, catching the grin. Octavia just shook her head, her smile growing slightly. “No, what? Really! Don’t do that and then not tell me! Tavi, that’s just mean!”
Octavia felt a laugh bubble up, but pushed it back down instinctively. It still felt strange to laugh and smile, like it was forbidden. Knowing her mother, it probably actually was and she just didn’t know it since she never did it.
“It’s just…it’s funny watching you try to do this,” she replied honestly. “Like a little sister trying to help her big sister with her homework. It’s not a bad thing, but it is amusing.”
Vinyl rolled her eyes and laughed.
“Yeah, I’m a bit outta my element here,” she said. “Give me any kind of sheet music from any kind of country and you betcha I got that shit figured out, one-two-three. Doctorate level English homework? Might as well fly me to space.”
Octavia’s gaze turned sympathetic and she pulled out her psychology homework-a very simple labeling chart that was to be color coded. She handed it to Vinyl, along with her psychology book.
“Here, think you can handle labels and coloring in the lines?” She offered. Vinyl snatched them happily, pulling out a random handful of colored pencils from her backpack.
“Yes, yes I can,” she stated proudly, beginning to color each section a different color. Octavia, content she wasn’t going to have to go back and correct her homework later, continued to work on her math, the two of them slipping into a comfortable silence.
“So, has your mom always been this lame?”
The bell had rung before either of them realized it, jerking Octavia out of her short answer worksheet and causing Vinyl to make a red line across her paper accidentally. They’d packed up quickly and were now walking down the hall to Octavia’s locker.
Octavia sighed and fiddled with her lock, pulling it open before she answered.
“For as long as I can remember,” she replied sadly. “It’s not all bad sometimes, I know she’s only doing it for my own good, and some of the things she’s doing are good for me, but it’s just…so stifling, you know?”
Vinyl hummed in agreement, leaning against the lockers and crossing her arms, nearly covering up her small chest as she did so. Octavia blushed, glancing away from the unicorn quickly, chastising herself for wanting to stare. That was definitely something she wasn’t supposed to think about.
“You’re supposed to get out when you’re this age,” Vinyl said. “Misbehave. Get in trouble. The whole world would freak out if teenagers didn’t do that. It’d destroy the perfect use of ‘oh, she’s just a teenager’. Without that, we wouldn’t get to do shit. Of course it’s stifling. You ain’t no grown mare yet.”
Octavia busied herself with deciding which books to take home so her mother wouldn’t question how little homework she had.
“I know. That’s why I was always so jealous of everypony. Of Twilight and Pinkie Pie. Of you and Rainbow Dash,” she admitted, feeling a pang in her heart as she remembered what her mother had said in the office, right in front of Twilight. Remembered what she thought about them. Remembered the hatred from the jealousy she felt. “I feel so bad. There were things I thought and did that shouldn’t have even crossed my mind. You and all the other girls were so nice. Well, you weren’t really nice, but at least you talked to me.”
Vinyl Scratch laughed heartily and turned to lean her back against the lockers. Octavia’s eyes drifted as the unicorn pushed her torso up and her shoulderblades against the metal, before the earth pony realized what she was doing and hurriedly turned to zip up her messenger bag, flipping the flap over the pockets, face blazing.
“Well, you know what best cures hard feelings?” The white unicorn asked, looking at Octavia with crimson eyes. Octavia froze for a minute, then remembered what was going on.
“Ahm…”
“An apology. Just go say you’re sorry,” Vinyl said simply, shrugging. “I know where they all hang out after school. We could stop by real quick before you head home.”
Octavia dawdled, playing with her locker door.
“I don’t know…I’m sure my mother is expecting me home right after school…” she replied. Vinyl snorted.
“C’mon, just tell her you got accosted by some Celestia’s Witness pony and were too polite to turn down his attempt to convert you,” the unicorn said, hooking arms with her and kicking her locker shut. “Ain’t no one gonna be the wiser. Besides, don’t you think friends are a little more important right now?”
They began walking as Octavia thought about that. Were friends more important? What did it mean to have friends, truly? Her mother’s friends were all snobby and stuck up and rude, just like her. She couldn’t stand it when her mother had friends over, all the talk about ‘my daughter did this great thing’ or ‘my son is going into Hoofard next month and we are beside ourselves with pride’. It was sickening as they tried to play their foals up as better than the others.
Especially as Octavia watched her mother struggle to keep up.
“Why would friends be more important?” She asked suddenly, the innocent question causing Vinyl to look at her in surprise. Octavia’s ears drooped. “Was that a bad question to ask?”
Vinyl shook her head, eyes wide.
“No! It’s not, not for you anyway,” she replied quickly. “I’d wager you’ve never really know true friends. Having true friends is amazing. They totally get you in every way, they understand you, they accept you. They make you smile when you’re feeling down and they get angry when you get angry. They kick your enemies’ asses and take names. They cheer you on and keep cheering even when you don’t get it the first time. They’re ponies you can tell your darkest secrets to and you know they’ll keep them and not judge you for it. They are loyal and honest, but always tell you you look great in that dress or those jeans. They see you with their hearts instead of their eyes, like how you listen to music with your soul, not your ears.”
Octavia mulled that over. What a strange concept for her to think about, acceptance and trustworthiness from another pony. She wouldn’t know what to do with it, if she had it. Instead of trying to take all of that in at once, she chose another bit of the rant to comment on.
“What do mean you listen to music with your soul, not your ears? That’s not possible, you need your ears to hear,” Octavia said. They were rounding the football field, nearing an opening in the fence. Through it, Octavia could just see the shiny metal bleachers where a few brightly colored ponies sat, splashed against the gray. Vinyl led her through the opening, and the six ponies she knew came into view, grouped on the very bottom corner of the bleachers.
“Of course you listen to music with your soul, everyone can do it. You just need to let it happen that way, or else you do just listen to it with your ears and then it does absolutely nothing for you,” Vinyl replied. “Aren’t there moments where you’re playing the cello or listening to a piece and you just feel overflowed? Filled up to the brim with…god, with something and you have no clue what it is, but it feels great and suddenly you just want to smile or cry or dance…or explode, I have those moments too.”
Octavia pursed her lips.
“Well, I suppose…I don’t know,” she murmured. She really didn’t know, unsure of what Vinyl was talking about. Vinyl huffed.
“We need to get you out more,” the unicorn said. “That’s the very reason I love electronic music so much. There’s just a pull about it, something that hits straight into your heart. The beat nearly in sync with your heart, totally in sync with your life stream, and you can just get lost in it. There’s something beautiful about that. When somepony gets the melody just right? Perfection. When the beat is just hard enough? Magic. When it pulses through your body and gives you the chills? Music.”
Octavia felt that jealousy creep up again, and she struggled to quell it. She wanted that, too. She wanted to feel those things when she played her music. She wanted to feel that when she listened. She wanted that. All of it.
“I…I must confess, I’m jealous,” she forced out. Vinyl looked at her curiously.
“Why?”
Octavia took a deep breath.
“Because that sounds amazing and I don’t have it,” she confessed. And suddenly, by just saying that sentence, she felt her envy lift slightly. Her guilt no longer seemed as heavy. So she continued. “I don’t feel that and I really, really want to. I don’t know how and you make it sound so easy.”
Vinyl Scratch smiled, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight.
“Well, shit, I’ll just take you to a rave sometime. I can’t teach you, but I can put you in that environment and let it take over,” she replied happily. “It’s awesome and anyone can feel that, even a caged in filly like you.”
Octavia sniffed and pouted jokingly as they neared the group. She felt her heart drop as she was met with some angry stares and a few sad ones. Her ears fell and she pulled Vinyl closer to her unintentionally.
“What do you want?” Rainbow sneered, rolling a soccer ball between her fingers and looking like she wanted to throw it at Octavia’s face. Twilight wouldn’t look her in the eyes, so Octavia looked at the ground, wanting to cry again. Vinyl nudged her gently and Octavia struggled to find her courage. It was okay. Vinyl was right there with her.
“Um…I’m really…I’m really sorry,” she managed, her throat closing up of its own accord. Rainbow made a sound, but Octavia forced herself to continue, searching once more for that lifting feeling. “I was really rude to many of you and…that was very wrong of me to do, because all any of you tried to do was be my friend. I’m used to pushing others away and this time was no exception. That’s not an excuse though, and so I’m sorry.
“I was very jealous of all of you. Twilight, your cutie mark is so special. Mine is so dull and normal. Magic is amazing and I wish I had it. Pinkie Pie, you’re so fun and happy. You and all your things are always doing something fun and I hated that because I never get to have fun like that. Rarity, you’re so fabulous and fashionable. You and Vinyl get to wear clothing I could only ever dream about being allowed to wear. Applejack, you’re so laidback. I wish I could be as relaxed as you seem to be. Fluttershy, you’re so gentle and sweet. I’ve always ever been snobby and nasty to everypony.”
She really was on the edge of tears by now, her throat tight and her eyes stinging with tears. Like she hadn’t cried enough today. That lifting feeling she was getting was getting to be too much, overwhelming her as she struggled to be as truthful as she could be, her voice cracking with the effort.
“And Rainbow, you’re so like Vinyl. Free and happy and forward. Things I’ve never been able to have or be. I wanted everything you ponies had, and that made me really bitter because I don’t get to have it. It was wrong of me to treat you the way I did. I’m so, so sorry,” she finished, her tears finally spilling over. She hiccupped, feeling Vinyl squeeze her arm comfortingly. It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds coming from the field around them, then Rainbow spoke up.
“Eh. I guess you can’t be all bad if you’re jealous of me, right? I forgive you,” she said nonchalantly, twirling the soccer ball on one finger. Octavia gazed at her in surprise, her vision a bit blurry from the tears. Just like that? But…didn’t Rainbow Dash hate her?
Fluttershy stood, half-running over to her and wrapping her in a big hug, sounding like she was near tears herself.
“Oh, I’m so, so sorry too! I never thought for a minute you’d be jealous, how silly of me, I should have tried harder,” she said, speaking quickly. Octavia awkwardly hugged her back, one arm still trapped by Vinyl’s. Her tears had stopped out of pure shock over what was happening.
“N-no, it’s okay, it’s not your fault,” Octavia replied, thrown for a loop.
“I’m sorry you felt that way, Octavia, we should have noticed sooner,” she hear Twilight say (Fluttershy was having some difficulty letting her go, it seemed). “We should be apologizing to you, flaunting what we had in front of you without thinking it might upset you.”
“Oh, really, it’s—“
Octavia was cut off by yet another hug on top of Fluttershy’s, this one more forceful and much more pink as Pinkie Pie nearly body slammed her.
“NO SHUSH DON’T TALK EVERYTHING’S OKAY PINKIE’S HERE FOR YOU I’LL MAKE SURE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN ALL THE TIME WITH CUPCAKES AND SPRINKLES AND MORE FUN AND—“
Octavia reeled as Pinkie continued to shout in her ear about having fun, half blocking her out because if she didn’t, she might go deaf. She’d pictured hate. She’d picture anger. She’d pictured alienation.
She hadn’t pictured this.
What was this?
Finally being let go, she rubbed her tears off of her cheeks and smiled weakly at them all. They smiled back, and Octavia felt something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Happiness.
“Thank you,” she murmured, still thrown by how sudden they’d all forgiven her, even though she’d been so terrible and cold. Twilight waved a hand at her, smiling.
“Don’t worry about it, that’s what friends are for, right? True friends forgive each other, and what you did wasn’t really your fault,” the purple unicorn said. “Not everypony has what others have.”
Pinkie bounced in place, her yellow tutu flipping up and down with each bounce in time with her fluffy mane and tail.
“Ooo, ooo!! That’s also why we share! Friends always share with each other! You gotta shaaaaaare, you gotta caaaaaaaare—“ The pink pony was interrupted by Rainbow Dash tackling her to the ground, both of them laughing.
“You gotta stop her while she’s ahead or the whole world practically implodes,” the blue pegasus joked, sitting on top of Pinkie Pie, who just giggled and snorted on the turf. Octavia smiled at their antics, her happiness growing. She never wanted to leave, now. Going back home (if she even called it that) to a bland room and a tyrant mother. Sadness waned the happiness slightly, and she sighed.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go home now,” she admitted, reluctant. There came a chorus of “aww”s and general disappointment, but Octavia shook her head. “I’ll be back tomorrow. I don’t want to be home late, my mother would kill me. I’ll see you all later! And thank you, again, for being so kind to me.”
She left with Vinyl still tagging along, both of them waving to the group. They were almost to Octavia’s house when the earth pony realized that Vinyl was still walking with her, not saying a word.
“Vinyl, don’t you have to go home too?” She asked, looking over at the unicorn. Vinyl just smiled and shrugged.
“Nah, not really. My parents don’t get home til pretty late, so it’s either this or make music for the rest of the night,” she explained. “Both are great options and so I figured I’ll make music later, why not walk my new friend home?”
Octavia looked at Vinyl.
“I’m…your friend?” She asked softly. They were nearing her street. Vinyl glanced at her, then away sheepishly.
“Well…of course, dude. We had kind of a rough start, but…I think you’re kinda cool, in a shut in sort of way. Like there’s just this whole other Octavia, waiting to break out and go wild, you know what I mean?” She explained. Octavia glowed. She had a friend. She’d never had a real friend. And now she did.
They got to the end of her street and Octavia stopped, hesitantly unhooking her arm from Vinyl’s.
“I…think you’re very cool, too,” she murmured. Vinyl grinned widely, throwing her arms out wide and enveloping Octavia in a hug. The earth pony returned it gratefully, having forgotten just how nice hugs felt. And thinking especially how nice this one felt. “I have to leave you here, though. If my mother sees…”
Vinyl let go and sighed dramatically, like she had in the library, only without a table to drape herself over.
“Okay, okay. Go be strong, alright? She ain’t got nothin’ on your teenage-ness, you hear me?” She said. “I’ll catch ya tomorrow, Tavi! Keep smilin’, no matter what.”
Octavia smiled, then, and meant it. She turned and walked to her house, glancing back just once at her doorway, to see Vinyl Scratch still there, waving like a madpony.
Author's Note
Wow this is a long time in coming. I am so sorry. Do enjoy this, I slammed it out today, so I hope it’s alright. Thank you for everyone who’s being very patient and following along, I’ve been really busy lately with school and work, so I’ve been just exhausted. Along with that, I’ve had writer’s block. This was an attempt to cure that. Enjoy your rush.
Octavia felt the temperature dip as she entered the house, her mood falling with it slightly. She knew what she was in for and even after such happy things had happened, she didn't think she was prepared for it. That she was in such a good mood made her almost less prepared, in a way, as she had a harder time keeping up the stolid expression she usually had. She closed the front door as quietly as she could, being sure to wipe her hooves off onto the mat like her mother liked. There was the sound of rushing water in the kitchen that shut off as soon as her hooves hit the carpet of the living room, and Octavia braced herself, clutching onto the strap of her bag.
"Octavia? Is that you?"
"Yes, mother," she replied reluctantly. The older mare came around the corner, her mane done up in a tight bun and gloves on her hands to protect them from whatever she was washing. She didn't seem happy that Octavia was home, and it made her wish she'd never come home.
"Where have you been? It doesn't take you this long to walk home, you know that," her mother snapped, pulling off the gloves. Octavia felt her ears droop.
"I…got held up by a Celestia's Witness on the way home," she said quietly, the lie springing forth almost effortlessly. "There was one outside of the school and he stopped me to preach. I…didn't want to be rude."
Her mother sniffed dismissively and fixed her with a cold glare. Octavia felt mild panic bubble up inside of her, worried her mother would see right through the lie. She'd never lied to her mother before.
"Well. Next time you can tell them you've got something more pressing than a cult to join, do you understand me? I don't want to see you being late again, or your punishment will be severe."
And then Octavia was alone in the living room, her mother returning to her cleaning with a no nonsense attitude and nary a kind word. She was floored. The lie had worked. In a strange way, she felt liberated by this fact. Her fingers relaxed on her bag strap and her shoulders felt light. Not wanting her mother to find a reason to come back out, Octavia scurried to her bedroom to finish what little homework she had.
Her hands were on auto pilot as she did her homework, all of her classes somehow too easy today. Her mind was reeling with what had happened earlier, with her friends and with her mother. A part of her knew she should feel bad for lying to her mother, but it wasn't being very loud. Lying was wrong, but if Octavia squinted, so was what her mother was doing to her. Wasn't there something Vinyl had said, teenagers need space or rebellion or something? She was growing up. She'd have to be on her own someday.
Octavia sighed. What would she even do? Music college was the obvious option, but that didn't guarantee her anything, just a random shot in the dark as a musician. Even ponies with instruments for cutie marks didn't always get to play them as a career. It was hard and it was competitive. In a disheartening way, Vinyl had been right when she'd said that cello was common. The earth pony drooped onto her papers. She was so useless.
In an effort to distract herself from crying, Octavia shuffled her papers around, trying to find something that would actually take some thought. She stopped as she pulled out a badly colored piece of paper, colored pencil scribbled in and out of the lines, blending together and labeling the poor brain in sloppy handwriting. It was so terribly done that Octavia couldn't help but laugh, half out of amusement and half out of pity for her psychology teacher. Vinyl was definitely the lazy type. She shook her head as she placed the paper carefully into her folder, wondering why she even trusted the unicorn with something simple like this. Even with her coloring, Vinyl was free and unbound and vibrant. Octavia knew that, if she had colored the page, everything would be perfect. Not a single white space or scribble outside the lines. Hell, she might have even tried to shade and highlight it, just to pacify her mother. She pulled out a half-finished math sheet and began to work on the problems. If all of this was so stifling, why couldn't she quit? Why couldn't she rebel? What sort of punishment was really stopping her from doing that?
Her pencil stilled.
She didn't have a cellphone or computer, and she wasn't allowed to watch television. Her books were all technical and her only real hobby was the cello. What could her mother take away from her that she hadn't already? They had to stay in Ponyville, her father's job was here.
Octavia stood up, her hands shaking slightly. Nothing was really stopping her except for guilt and fear. She was strong, she could overcome that. Couldn't she? She glanced back at her homework, remembering how silly Vinyl looked draped across it in the library, acting like a little bit of English was the end of the world. Taking a deep breath, she stepped over to her closet, opening it up slowly and quietly, trying not to draw suspicion to her silent room (even though her closet was hers and she could open it whenever she wanted to). Purple eyes scanned the contents, glossing over long drab skirts and itchy turtlenecks until they finally spotted an old pair of dark grey jeans. Pulling them out, Octavia held them up to her body, wondering if they'd even still fit her. They were a gift from an aunt back when she first started high school, a pair of nice jeans she was never allowed to wear because jeans were form-fitting and sinful. Her mother had turned up her muzzle at the lack of a tail strap and told Octavia that while it would be rude to get rid of a gift, she would not be allowed to wear such trashy, low-rise clothing.
Octavia tossed the jeans on her bed and slipped off her skirt, letting it pool around her hooves. Her heartbeat rose up into her ears and throat, choking her up with the anxiety that her mother could walk in at any moment and catch her. She picked up the pretty gray jeans and put one hoof in, then the other, holding her breath and pulling them up. They stuck on her hips for a moment, causing a spike of terror to shoot through her stomach. She tugged on them almost frantically, and inched them up over her hips, buttoning them as soon as she could. She paused and exhaled, reveling in the strange feeling.
She'd worn skirts for as long as she could remember, ones that were ankle-length and had tail straps. Elementary and middle school were bad times for her, as all the other foals made fun of her for looking like a rock farm pony. These pants didn't have a tail strap, the waistband hitting just underneath her full tail, leaving her hipbones slightly exposed. They were tight around her legs, a comforting constriction that made her feel free and sultry. She could spread her legs as wide as she wanted, she could do a cartwheel, she could…
A noise from the kitchen made her jump, almost tripping over her own hooves as she whirled to face her door. She stayed stock still for a few moments, but no one came. Making a snap decision, she grabbed her sewing scissors and crept into the hallway, darting to the bathroom and locking the door behind her. She was on the verge of hyperventilation as she finally looked at herself in the mirror.
Octavia was stunned.
She'd seen herself without clothes on before, but never really looked at the way her body was shaped. It wasn't right to preen about her looks, according to her mother, so she never did. But now…Now she understood why Rarity kept a mirror in her lunchbox.
She smoothed her hands over her hips, feeling the textured denim and marveling at how curvy they were, nothing like the sharp angles Vinyl had, but softer like Pinkie Pie's. She turned, looking over her shoulder and blushing slightly at how tight the pants were around her backside, her tail arching freely. She took a slow breath and glanced down at the scissors she held in her hand. Very carefully, she pinched up as much of the jeans as she could from her thigh, making a tiny snip that sounded too loud in the quiet bathroom. Wiggling the scissors blade through, she cut in small increments, tracing the destiny she knew all too well. When she was done with that side, she moved to the other.
Two circular flaps of denim fell to the floor. She stared, wide-eyed, at what she had done, a goofy, sheepish smile spreading on her face. Her cutie mark boasted through her handmade cutie pockets, purple and curving and proud. She felt dangerous and giddy. But most importantly, she felt free.
Snatching up the denim pieces, she made sure there was no evidence left in the bathroom before peeking out into the hallway to make sure it was clear. She bolted back to her room, having to struggle not to slam the door after her as she tugged off the jeans and pulled her skirt back on. Panting slightly, she rolled the jeans up tight and shoved them into the bottom of her bag. Closing the flap, she sat back against her bed, anticipation and excitement building up within her as she wondered what Vinyl would say when she saw her new pants.
"Octavia!"
The shout startled her again, shooting her heart rate back up to a million miles a minute.
"Dinnertime, you had better have your homework finished!"
Glancing at the pages, she stuffed a few underneath her bed that weren't all the way done and took the rest out into the dining room. Nothing, she decided, that happened tonight would be able to ruin what tomorrow would bring.
Author's Note
Slammed this out, forgot to upload this chapter on here. Sorry it took so long, so have fun!
Well, hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocowboy. I’d like to say this wasn’t supposed to take so long but god this was hard to write for whatever lameass reason. Godspeed my little tomatoes, I’ll try to keep em comin’ for ya. Enjoy the rush.
Octavia had been awake for three hours on a nervous stomach.
Her sleep had been fitful, waking up often to glance at her backpack and then struggle back to sleep. The pants were like some sort of beacon, taunting her with their disobedience. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what her mother would decide to do if she found them, or worse, found Octavia wearing them.
She sighed and sat up, rubbing her sore eyes and feeling slightly sick. Her earlier bravado was gone and her ears drooped as she searched for the courage she no longer had. It all seemed like a good plan last night. What was wrong? Getting out of bed, she went to her closet and pulled on another drab skirt and plain turtleneck. Octavia looked in her full length mirror. That was it. She was wrong. All of this was wrong. She couldn’t even do this right, she—
She turned and picked up her bag, steeling what little resolve she had left and walked into the kitchen, just like every other day. Her mother was making breakfast for the family, like always. And not one word was said to her about her outfit or what might be lodged in the depths of her backpack. She sat down and tried not to look guilty. She’d just take the pants to school, she wouldn’t put them on. It would be like a…a test. She ate the toast set in front of her, butterflies making her want to throw it right back up.
“Don’t forget to verbally practice your cello during orchestra today, Octavia,” her mother said, jerking her out of her worried thoughts. “I will want to hear what you have when you come home, and you had better be on time tonight.”
“Yes, mother,” Octavia replied, finishing off her breakfast with difficulty as her throat threatened to close around her words. She stood and put her bag over her shoulder, not missing the careful once over her mother gave her before she scurried out of the dining room and out the door, nearly running down the driveway. She power-walked down the length of her street, scared her mother would somehow have known and followed her down to drag her back. When nothing came but the sound of the early morning wind through the leaves, she let out a shaky breath and slowed to a walk.
The pants burned a hole through her bag and her knees felt like jelly as she walked to school, startling every time a car passed her. By the time she arrived, her fur stood on end and her nerves were about shot. A splash of purple caught her eye and she trotted over to where Twilight was sitting on a bench and reading a large book.
“Twilight!” She said, breathless. The purple unicorn jumped, but smiled as she saw Octavia. She set her book down and patted the open seat beside her.
“Hello, Octavia! Please, join me,” she replied. “How are you this morning?”
Octavia sat, pulling her tail primly out of the way and setting her bag on the ground. She fumbled for a moment, twisting her hands in her skirt before answering.
“I’m…I’m alright, I suppose. Shaken up a bit. I have a surprise, for lunch.”
Twilight’s eyes widened and lit up.
“A surprise! That’s always fun! I can’t wait to see!” She said, excited. “Wait, why are you all shaken up? Is everything okay?”
Octavia nodded, glancing down at her bag. It was better, now that she was so out of her mother’s sight. Having Twilight next to her felt safe. Having a friend felt safe.
“Twilight…” She paused, took a breath, then tried again. “Twilight, have you ever done something you weren’t supposed to?”
The purple unicorn gave her a strange look.
“Um, not really. I mean, I guess there was this one time, when I was being, well, a little neurotic and ah…” Twilight trailed off, laughing. “It was a mess, but it all sorted out in the end. Sometimes we make mistakes. What brought this on?”
Octavia frowned. Mistake? Is that what she was doing?
“I…What if it were something that was okay for other ponies?” She asked, her voice soft and hesitant. “But for some reason it wasn’t okay for you, and you wanted to do it anyway?”
“Why, Tavi, gotta dirty li’l secret?”
Octavia screeched and flew up from her seat, whirling around to stare wide-eyed at Vinyl, who had snuck up behind the two ponies. Twilight glared at the white unicorn.
“Vinyl, that wasn’t very nice,” she pointed out as Octavia struggled to remember how to breathe. Vinyl Scratch just shrugged and stuck her hands in her hoodie pockets.
“Hey, you guys should pay more attention, I don’t exactly have twinkle hooves,” she replied. Her outfit was more modest today, which wasn’t saying much in Octavia’s opinion, because her shorts were still very short, but at least the red hoodie covered her arms and chest. The white unicorn sat in Octavia’s spot, her eyes invisible behind the purple sunglasses. “But I’m sorry, that was my bad. You okay, Tavi?”
Octavia took a calming breath and nodded slightly, stepping forward a bit to sit back down, when she realized there was no room left on the bench. She huffed, putting her hands on her hips.
“Vinyl Scratch, you are in my seat,” she clipped out, not really annoyed, but feeling the need to tease in return for such a rude hello. The white unicorn smirked and leaned back on the bench, laying her arms across the back of it.
“Yeah? What’re ya gonna do about it?” She replied sassily, her smirk widening. Octavia balked just a moment, thrown suddenly by the husky tone Vinyl had taken on, a combination of daring and just waking up. She shook out her mane, re-gathering her thoughts.
“I’m not going to let you see the surprise I have for lunch,” Octavia teased, cocking her hip out as daringly as Vinyl’s voice and feeling instantly silly for such a pose. Her mother would have a fit, screaming about whores and sluts and fillies straight on their way to hell…but the slack jawed look on Vinyl’s face canceled those voices out, somehow louder than her mother’s teachings.
“You’ve got a surprise?” She asked excitedly, sitting up and pushing her sunglasses onto her head, her eyes still slightly puffy from sleep. Octavia rolled her eyes.
“Maybe I do. And maybe you’re still in my seat,” she replied pointedly.
“Vinyl, stop being rude and give Octavia her seat back!” Twilight said, looking like she was about to use her magic to help Vinyl help herself. Vinyl just laughed and leaned back again, patting her thighs.
“She can take her seat back, but I’m not going anywhere,” she said, giving Octavia a wink. Octavia felt like she was going to melt down, her blush was so deep. She stared at the white unicorn in shock, all of her teasing feelings gone. Sit on her lap? She couldn’t. That was going too far. She wouldn’t. She…Octavia swallowed thickly, very aware of the awkward stare she was getting from Twilight and the expectant stare she was getting from Vinyl Scratch. She wanted to sit on her lap.
“I can’t possibly…I…I’m too big,” she said finally, defeated. The voice of her mother crowed in her head, making her feel sick for an entirely different reason. “I’d crush you.”
“Pshaw, you are like, not even pudgy, just come here already,” Vinyl said, reaching forward and grabbing Octavia’s wrists, pulling her down into her lap. Octavia tumbled onto the white unicorn, squeaking, trying to keep her balance and not kill Vinyl with her butt all at once. She ended up with Vinyl’s knees jabbing into the back of hers, the bones of the unicorn’s thighs digging into her backside. Vinyl wrapped her arms around Octavia’s waist and squeezed gently, earning her another squeak from the earth pony.
“See? Totally fine,” she said, her voice very close to Octavia’s neck. Octavia’s mind had gone blank except for one thing.
“You…are so bony,” she gasped out, trying not to sound like an idiot. “How are you this skinny?”
Vinyl laughed against her back, making Octavia blush at the slight bounce underneath her.
“I dance more than I eat, I guess,” she explained, leaning her head against Octavia’s shoulderblades. “Not like Bubble Butt over here, who reads about as much as she eats.”
Twilight snapped the book shut she’d been reading to avoid their antics, her horn glowing menacingly.
“I do NOT have a bubble butt!” She growled, shoving the book in her bag and crossing her arms. Vinyl just pinched her cheek, getting swatted away.
“Aww, come on, Sparks, it’s cute on you! Everybody likes a little cushion for the pushin’…”
Twilight’s face turned bright red.
“I can’t believe you just said that,” she replied, giving up as a small smile spread on her face. “You are insufferable.”
“What? Me?” Vinyl blinked innocently.
With a frustrated sigh, Twilight stood, shouldering her bag.
“Well, as, erm, lovely as it’s been to converse with you, Vinyl, I have to meet a teacher,” she said. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us at lunch Octavia!”
Octavia waved as Twilight walked into the school, almost able to ignore the fact that there was an empty seat on the bench now. She squirmed slightly, making as if to slide off of Vinyl’s lap and into the space, but the arms around her stomach tightened.
“Hey there, squirmy wormy, where d’you think you’re goin’?” Vinyl teased, her breath warm through Octavia’s turtleneck sweater. Octavia flapped her hands at the space helplessly.
“I was going to go sit in the empty seat,” she replied. “Don’t you want me to? I’m heavy.”
“Nah, I’m good. Comfy as a bug in a rug.”
Octavia rubbed at her cheeks, seeing if she could get her blush to leave that way. Friends certainly didn’t do this sort of thing.
“…What if someone sees?” She admitted finally, a very real fear presenting itself now that she realized any one pony in the school could see and tell a teacher, who could tell her mother, who would break her already broken cello over her head if she knew. Vinyl shifted underneath her, withdrawing her hands and letting Octavia slide off her lap and onto the empty seat next to her.
“Sorry,” Vinyl said softly, putting her sunglasses back over her eyes. “I forget your mom’s a psycho. Are you embarrassed?”
Octavia’s eyes widened and she fidgeted with her skirt. Was she embarrassed? It was certainly awkward, but…it hadn’t been horrible.
“No,” she said. “I didn’t…I didn’t mind. I just. If someone sees, really, you don’t understand, I—“
“So what’s this about a surprise?” Vinyl interrupted, her voice back up to its cheery state. Octavia assumed she was looking at her, it was hard to tell with those dark glasses.
“Oh! Well, it’s a surprise,” she explained. “You’ll have to wait until lunchtime. Which means you can’t get in trouble until after lunch!”
Vinyl laughed, leaning her head over the back of the bench and crossing her legs, making her shorts ride up ever so slightly. Octavia blinked and looked at the ground, trying not to think about that little detail.
“Oh man, I dunno if I can do that!” The unicorn crowed. “Trouble is my middle name.”
Octavia whirled on her, poking a finger into her side and making Vinyl double over with a giggle.
“I mean it, Vinyl Scratch! This surprise…I think it’s worth it. Please behave, just until then?” She pleaded, wondering why it meant so much to her that Vinyl saw the jeans. And not just the jeans, but the jeans on her.
It confused her and caused the butterflies in her stomach to flail.
The bell rang and Vinyl sighed, standing up.
“Okay, Tavi,” she said, grinning. “I promise on my horn that I’ll keep outta trouble ‘til then. But it better be a damn good surprise, you hear?”
Octavia gave her a small smile in return, grabbing her bag and standing.
“Excellent. Then I shall see you at lunch!” She said, feeling the flutter all the way up into her throat as she turned and walked inside.
Octavia felt like she was going to fall through the floor.
Fourth period had gone by in a flash, propelling her straight into a state of panic that she swallowed all the way to the bathroom. Standing in a stall and holding the jeans in her hands, the panic bubbled back up and she struggled not to hyperventilate too loudly. Lunch had started five minutes ago and she couldn’t seem to make her muscles work.
Everybody was waiting for her. Twilight would have told them there was surprise, if Vinyl hadn’t already.
Oh, for the love of the sun. Vinyl was waiting for her. The unicorn was probably vibrating out of her seat by now with impatience.
Taking a shaky breath that did nothing to calm her nerves, Octavia hung the jeans on the stall door hook and slipped out of her long skirt. She folded it up as nicely as she could so it wouldn’t wrinkle and tucked it into her bag. Standing in only her turtleneck sweater and panties, she stared at the jeans like they were going to bite her, feeling more anxious by the minute.
She could do this. She had to do this. If not for herself, then for her friends.
Closing her eyes, Octavia sighed, a tiny smile breaking through the nervousness. Friends. She had friends. For the first time in her life, she had what she’d only read about, only dreamt about. Friends who forgave her, friends who shared with her, friends who weren’t going to judge her on the clothes she wore because that had never even come up in conversation.
As quick as she could, she snatched the jeans from the hook and yanked them on, giving herself no time to hesitate. She buttoned the button, zipped up the fly, and adjusted her tail and sweater. Eight minutes into lunch; she needed to hurry.
Octavia steeled herself and shouldered her bag, opening the stall door and going over to the full length mirror to make sure she looked alright. She stared at her reflection, speechless.
Her cutie mark was bright against her fur, a sweet purple that matched her eyes. Pride welled up inside of her as she swiveled her hips a bit, her tail swinging gracefully behind her now that it wasn’t so pinched by her stuffy skirt. It didn’t matter what she looked like. She could see her special talent and now, so could everyone else.
It was a sin to believe one was special, but all Octavia could think of was how excited she was to show Vinyl her cutie mark. Her mother be damned, she would deal with the guilt later as she trotted out of the bathroom and down the hallway to the cafeteria. It took a moment to find their table amidst the rainbow of ponies in the room, but it became hard to miss as Pinkie Pie opened her lunchbox, shooting confetti everywhere.
Octavia hurried over, feeling self-conscious as she tried not to look at the other ponies. She was sure she could feel eyes following her and didn’t know if she thought that was good or bad.
The table was in its normal chaos, with confetti scattered over the surface and Rainbow Dash in a heated argument with Vinyl Scratch. Twilight had her nose stuck in a book as her fork kept missing her mouth and Rarity was lining up her wheat crackers with ruler precision. Fluttershy stared worriedly at Pinkie Pie as the pink pony shoved two cupcakes in her mouth at once, and Applejack was trying to wrestle open a bottle of cider.
Applejack spotted her first, a grin spreading over her face as she waved.
“Hoo-wee, sugarplum, when Twi said yah had a surprise, I didn’t expect somethin’ so…different,” she said. There was an immediate pause that descended over the table and Octavia felt her heart stop as the rest of the group looked up.
“Do…you like it?” She breathed, trying not to squeak. Her eyes were trained on Vinyl, searching for something, anything that said that this was okay, that she’d made a good decision. The white unicorn gaped at her, mouth open and eyes wide, unspeaking.
“Hell yeah, we like it!” Rainbow said, elbowing Vinyl in the side. “Right, Scratch? Way to rebel, Tavi, I didn’t think you had it in ya!”
Octavia blushed, smiling sheepishly as Vinyl smacked Rainbow Dash on the shoulder.
“I think you look nice, Octavia,” Twilight said, scooting over so she could sit next to her. “I’m glad I finally get to see what your cutie mark looks like!”
“Oh, well, I’ve spent so long covering it up…” Octavia explained, “it feels so strange to have it out in the open.”
“You really shouldn’t, it’s just the loveliest shade of purple,” Rarity said, preening her own purple locks. “And so simple. Quite fashionable lately, to have simple cutie marks.”
Octavia’s smile grew wider and she sat down next to Twilight, pulling out her lunchbox. She started to open it, jumping when Pinkie Pie reached over and slammed her hand down on the top, effectively smashing whatever was inside.
“No way, horse hay!” The pink pony shouted. “This is a special day! We’ve got to celebrate! And we are not going to celebrate with soggy sandwiches!”
Pinkie Pie scooted the squashed lunchbox into Octavia’s lap and replaced it with a cupcake wrapped in bright yellow paper. The blue sprinkles matched the pink pony’s cutie mark, and Octavia just sighed, picking it up happily.
“Thank you, Pinkie Pie,” she said, her mood dipping slightly as she realized Vinyl hadn’t said anything about her new look yet. “But I have to eat more than just sugar, or I’ll get fat.”
Pinkie Pie puffed out her cheeks and opened a bag of candy, setting a few pieces in front of everyone at the table.
“Just exercise! That’s what I do,” she said, shoving a handful of candy in her mouth and mixing it with grape soda. Rainbow Dash gave her a withering look.
“You don’t exercise, Pink, you just never stop moving,” the blue pegasus corrected, throwing a piece of candy at Vinyl, who glared at her over an energy drink. “Why the locked lips, Scratch? You think Tavi’s new look is ugly or somethin’?”
Vinyl choked on her drink, earning a glare from Rarity and Twilight as she half spit over her lap.
“No, ugh, you made me spit everywhere,” she retorted once the coughing stopped, wiping her mouth on her hoodie sleeve. “I, uh. You look…really fantastic, Tavi. Blew my socks right off.”
Octavia bristled, setting her cupcake paper on the table delicately. Applejack gave her a wink and set an opened bottle of cider in front of her.
“Oh yeah, Vinyl, blew ‘em right off into yer mouth,” the orange pony joked. “Ah believe, and I ain’t no smart pony, but ah I believe the term we’d use here is, ah, speechless?”
There were titters around the group as Vinyl’s face turned as red as her hoodie and she hid behind her sunglasses, pouting into her energy drink.
“Yeah, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Vinyl said, sneering. “You’re not hiding the way you stare at Dash’s butt in gym class very well.”
The giggles grew louder as it was Applejack’s turn to blush, glaring at Vinyl who simply grinned coolly, blush fading to a light pink. Octavia couldn’t help but grin at their antics, taking a sip of the bubbly apple drink in front of her. If she’d known her fashion choice would cause this much of a riot, she would have done this the first day of school.
Then again, maybe not.
“Alright girls, that’s enough,” Twilight scolded, pushing half of her daisy sandwich at Octavia absently. “Let’s try to keep the embarrassment to a minimum. Besides, we all know who’s the true lucky one in the group. Right, Fluttershy? Where’s Discord today?”
A giggle broke from Octavia, joining the rest of the table as they laughed, watching Fluttershy sink beneath the table. Pinkie Pie dived under to join her, almost knocking her lunch off the table with her tail.
“Oh come on, Fluttershy! Twilight just means you’re totally getting laid more than the rest of us!” Her voice shrilled out, followed by Fluttershy’s indignant squeaking.
“Alright, alright, leave her alone,” Twilight chastised gently, nudging Pinkie Pie with her hoof. “Well, Octavia, I’m very pleased you’re branching out with your clothing choices. Though, I still prefer skirts myself.”
“Mama’s pony,” Vinyl sniffed absently, playing with the tab on her energy drink can. “Oh, Tavi, that totally reminds me, I brought my cello. It’s in the band room.”
“Oh! Right, thank you,” Octavia said, picking up the half of Twilight’s sandwich and taking a bite. She hadn’t had daisies in years, not since her mother had read on article on the caloric content and forbade them as an ingredient. “I am so glad you were kind enough to let me borrow it, I shudder to think of vocal practice…”
Vinyl pulled the tab off her can and tossed it at Rainbow Dash, winking at Octavia.
“Hey, don’t knock it til you try it, am I right, RD?” She ribbed, her grin turning lewd. Rainbow Dash waggled her eyebrows in response, her eyes glancing at Applejack just briefly, who was too engrossed in her cider to notice.
“Come on, haul your cutie mark along, I wanna show it to you,” Vinyl continued, dropping her empty can into Rainbow’s lunch, avoiding the punch that almost landed. Octavia looked at her, clutching her sandwich nervously.
“But…I just sat down!” She protested, already hearing her stomach growl at the sandwich in her hands and not feeling brave enough to stand up in her new jeans again just yet. Vinyl just rolled her eyes and made her way around the table, slinging her arms over Octavia’s shoulders in a loose hug. Octavia froze, feeling Vinyl’s warm breath ghost over the fur on her neck, ruffling it and sending shivers down her spine.
“Take your food with you, I promise it’s worth the walk,” the white unicorn nearly purred, making Octavia’s ears tingle. “Besides, with that cutie mark, don’t you wanna show it off?”
Octavia glanced around the table, seeking some kind of reason to stay, unsure of why she was nervous to be alone with Vinyl all of a sudden. Pinkie Pie gave her a wink and a thumbs up, but everyone else was engrossed in their own lunch or conversation. Octavia sighed, swinging her legs over the bench in a way that would give her mother a heart attack and wagged her sandwich at Vinyl Scratch.
“Okay, but if this wasn’t worth getting up for, then you owe me,” she said sternly, only met with a sassy smirk and an arm wound through hers. Vinyl began leading her out of the lunchroom, sneering at any of the ponies who dared to stare as Octavia tried to hide behind bread and daisies.
“Believe me, Tavi, it’s worth it.”