1-UP

(3rd person)

The attack came quick. As soon as Perez had come within five feet of the group of eels, the closest one had coiled its body, like a spring, and launched itself at him. Flying through the air, the eel opened its jaws wide, revealing its deadly venom coated fangs. The sight was made even more intimidating, as the flaps on both sides of its head sprung open, briefly stunning Perez with their vibrant hypnotizing colors.

In the suspense of the moment, time seemed to slow around Perez. As the eel shot closer, he had but a single thought.

“Worst. Plan. Ever.”

Knowing he had to react fast if he wanted to remain alive, and that his newly acquired weapon would to take too long to activate, he decided to use a more natural weapon. Curling his hand into a fist, he knocked the eel skyward with his left hand. But Perez noticed something was different; his punch sent the eel farther than it should have, and it didn’t hurt half as bad as he thought it should. He had been changed.

But any thoughts pertaining to his apparently increased strength were interrupted when the other eels took the offense, and started launching themselves at him. This time though, he was able to put his enchanted weapon to use.

“Short sword!”

The dark, silver-green of the blade, shimmered as he lunged at the assaulters.

While all this was going on, his cousin Paquito was still racing to assist Perez, furious at his cousin and himself at their inability to find another way past the eels.

"Dammit Perez, killing another creature is not the first thing I wanted to do in Equestria." he thought to himself. "If you had stopped and used your head, we could have cloaked ourselves with our tools, but no! Captain badass has to kill everything. This ain't a damn videogame.”
But he knew that even with all his unplanned, and probably unneeded aggression, his cousin still needed his help, and that was enough to get past his hardened vegetarian beliefs. .
“He better not be dead.” He said to himself. “If he dies, I’m going to kill him” And with that, he rushed to the sounds of the fight.

When he caught up to his cousin, everything he had worried would happen; had already happened. Perez was being attack on almost all of his sides. He was only barely able to keep the eels back, but he was obviously getting tired, and his swings were getting slower with each deflect. If he didn’t help, his only friend in this new world would be killed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that Perez didn’t. An eel had gotten behind him, and was about to strike. Thinking quickly, he tried to remember a weapon, ANY weapon, which could help him.

“Uh… vanishing crossbow?!”

The tube lifted out of his hand and shone a bright teal. The shape twisted, and contorted, eventually becoming a lightly-colored cross bow, a bolt already strung. He felt the weight in his hands, and marveled at the craftsmanship of the weapon. He snapped back to reality at the sound of the eels hissing. He readied the weapon, taking aim at the slowly advancing eel, and fired.

“Fuck you, things!” Perez cried at the advancing attackers. He was starting to fell fatigue set in, and he knew that it wouldn’t be long until he made a mistake, moved to slow, or his already tiring reflexes failed him, before he would end up on his knees, being repeatedly poisoned. But one thought kept him in line.

‘Not until I meet Fluttershy.’

And he fought, slicing the eels down their centers, cutting their heads, or delivering precisely timed stabs that left the creatures reeling in agony. He really liked when that happened.

He heard a whizzing noise behind him, and quickly taking a look, saw that an eel that had gotten dangerously close, now had disappeared in a cloud of dark purple smoke. He looked up, and saw his cousin, crouching on a knee, and trying to take another shot.
“Hey, stupid!” He yelled “Watch out!" He ducked just as another bolt zoomed over his head, and hit an eel with a 'poof!'.

”Who doesn’t need weapons again?”

“Shut up and keep fighting!”
.

****
(1st person)

HA! Fuck these things, with their weak ass venom. I’ll admit, I didn’t think this whole ‘Leroy Jenkins your way into the middle of the group, hope for the best’ plan was gonna work at first, but now, with my sword in one hand, and Paquito covering my ass with that crossbow of his, I AM BULLET-I mean, EEL PROOF!

*Slink*

Aw, damn.

I looked down, at my left hand, and low, and behold; there’s a goddamned eel there. It’s…starting to wrap itself around my arm. I…I can feel the poison; it’s like…fire in m veins. I…I’m glad this is the…last one. If I’m dying, this thing goes with me, and I’m taking my time with it.

I dropped my sword, and ripped the eels head from my hand. There’s…there’s a lot of blood, more than there should be, and some of it is turning purple. I’m looking the eel head on, and all I’m feeling is rage. How DARE this thing kill me, robbing ME of all my dreams of living in this paradise? How DARE this thing, ruin not only MY life, but my cousins, who’ll have to go through ALL of the things we planned, alone. Man, P’s gonna kill me.

My hand has been closing around its head the entire time. I think it’s suffocating. It deserves worse. I squeeze harder, causing sickening gurgles to come from its mouth. I squeezed harder, and harder, and harder.

It popped. Like a balloon. Pieces of brain spattering on to my face, and blood ran down my arms. It fells great, but I know that, even when dead, this thing won the battle. I throw the headless corpse down, and lie in the dirt. Best I could do I guess. My cousin walks over, and sits down in front of me.

"Yeah, that was gross and unnecessary Perez. Hey! Check these out, vanishing arrows, no need to kill! I'm still surprised they work."
I sat if front my cousin after our battle that, I'm still shocked we won. We are both panting, and not moving. I look over to him slowly and chuckle a little. He responds with a smile. But…something’s wrong. The smile is fake. He’s probably just tired.
"Shit, I can't believe we did that. That was fuckin’ awesome."

"Yeah, that was pretty awesome wasn't it?"

“This is gonna be a great story to tell. It will help you get Fluttershy."

“Yeah, if I make it…"

"What do you mean?"

He’s pulling his arm over slowly. I can see his pain by the expression on his face. What the hell is wrong with…oh my god. There are two bleeding punctures on his palm. He got bit. My only companion in this world was now dying of poison.

"OH NO! No, no, no, no, no. You can't die you’ve got to make it. You’ve been given a second chance man! You haven't even begun to live! You've got to go out with Fluttershy, You and me have to have a cider drinking competition, We've got to go to one of Pinkie's parties, You have to be their with me when I meet the Princess! I NEED YOU MAN!"

“Heh, we both know the Fluttershy thing, wasn’t happening anyway.”

“Y-yes it could. If I tell her how brave you were just now, she...she... ”

This can’t be happening. GODDAMN IT, this can’t be happening! I…I don’t know what to do! We don’t have any first-aid, or…or anything. I…I can only watch him die. I'm going to lose the only person I have in the world. He’s looking straight up now, and smiling. Wait…he’s not smiling anymore. He looks like he’s listening to something.
“Do…do you hear that?”

“Hear…hear what?”

He closed his eyes, and is smiling again. “That.” He tries to raise his arm, but it just falls back down to his side. He stopped moving.

I hear it now. It sounds like…hooves. Hooves! Hooves! We’re being saved! He's not going to die! That drumming of hooves and that gentle flapping of wings was the sweetest sound I have ever heard. With what little strength I had left I turned around.
How should I describe my face? If I had won a million dollars, I would not have been as surprised or happy as I was at that moment, because standing in front of me was none other than Twilight Sparkle, the Joan of Arc of ponies, and…and…that radiant angel Fluttershy. She is cuter in person, or pony whatever. I had to cover my face and look away so they wouldn't give me a heart attack.
My God, they found us. I should be wondering why they’re here, but I’m not complaining! This moment will be ingrained in my mind forever. I am the luckiest brony in the world. Everything inside me wants to freak out but I force myself to keep it down. I shake my cousin a little and he looks over to find the source of the commotion. He almost sits up when he sees Fluttershy, then winces in pain and lays back down. He smiles at the sight of them.

“Okay, either I’m really fucked up, or Fluttershy and Twilight are totally rescuing us right now.”

“It’s both man…it’s both.”

“Oh…hay, um dude?”

“Yeah?”

“If I pissed my pants...because of the poison of course, would you tell them it’s from the stream?”

*Sigh*, even when he’s dying.

“We’re not anywhere close to the stream.”

“…Damn.” And then he closed his eyes, and leaned his head back.

Twilight looks like she’s trying to stay calm in our presence, good, just like I hoped she would. She takes a couple of cautious steps towards us.

“Um, hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle and this is Fluttershy."
Fluttershy looks at me from behind Twilight, and tries to muster a hello, but it trails off and she hides behind Twilight again.
"We are residents of the nearby town-"

“Hello my name is Paquito, and I'd love to get to know both of you girls. But my partner here is injured (You don't know how hard it is not jump on them and hug them both.) He is in serious need of medical attention, he is suffering from venom from a... (Can’t let them know that we know about this place) creature. We can talk later; he needs to get to a hospital NOW."
Twilight is taken aback by my forwardness. She seems a little irked that I refuse to give her information and just asked for help.

“Hold on! How do we know you’re not an enemy? All we know is your name; you can't expect us to trust you that easily. I’ll have Fluttershy examine your friends wound first, to decide if it is serious or not."
Twilight nudged Fluttershy forward a bit, and with some hesitation, she slowly started to hover over. She lands next to Perez, who was still passed out, and begins to look him over. She jumps back when she sees the bits on his hand.

“Oh my! Twilight it is very serious! You poor thing, we must get you to a hospital immediately."
Twilight stops looking so agitated, and seems genuinely worried. She trots over, and looks at Perez.

“Oh, that is serious. Very well, we will take your companion to PonyVille Urgent Care were he will receive medical attention. Meanwhile you will explain how you two arrived here and why.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want, as long as my partner gets help.”

I was about to ask how we were going to get there fast enough, but a light shot out of her horn and before I could realize it we were standing right in the middle of PonyVille. Exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. It's almost as if Twilight read my mind and did this to annoy me. Every pony was staring directly at me. I looked like, as much as I hate this overused simile, a deer looking at headlights. I tried to say something, but nothing came to mind that would put an entire town of ponies at ease. Then Twilight stepped forward and broke the silence.
"Everypony, this is official business of the Princess, be on your way."
That didn’t really help much, but at least they kept on walking and talking. About me no doubt. I take in the scenery around me to try to get the embarrassment out of my head. Every thing is in neon colors, everyone is happy and smiling, there is no one walking with their head down. There is no discontent, no arguing, no sadness and no hate. It seems so foreign and strange, and magnificently beautiful. A utopia of adorable ponies, living in true solidarity together. This is true tolerance, and not just tolerance, coexistence. I wish my people could be more like this. As we are walking, well, I'm limping, I look back at my cousin and notice Twilight staring at me. She doesn't look away, so I'm guessing she wants something.
“Um.... Yes?"
"Well?"
I'm confused for a moment and realize the promise I made to her. This is going to be very interesting.
"Oh! you want an explanation don't you?"
"Yes I would like an explanation. All my plans for today are canceled now, so take all the time you need."
I begin by saying we both are humans from a different world, a world that is extremely different from this one. There is only one type of human, but we come in different shapes sizes and colors and have different tastes and views and ideas. That’s not enough for her. She wants the whole story.
We arrive at the hospital, and the same thing happened that occurred in Mane Street. Twilight points to my cousin “This one is injured." and a group of unicorns surround my cousin and carry him to a cot in a hospital room. I followed them; man I hope it’s not too late. Twilight and Fluttershy stayed in the lobby. I look back and see Twilight talking to Fluttershy. I wonder what they’re talking about.

Their hospitals are just as vibrant as the rest of the town, and all of the patients don't seem to mind being there. The nurse unicorns' horns illuminate in unison in different colors and my cousin starts to glow. I watch in awe, amazed by their power. I stand their with my mouth agape, unable to take my eyes off of the miracle happening before my eyes. My cousin sits up in his bed startling the nurses who exit the room swiftly in a neat single file line.

“GAAAAAAH!”
Note to self: Don’t scream the first time you wake up in a hospital. Hey wait a minute…I’m alive! And in a hospital…how’d that happen?
Looking around the room, I see that there are about four or five nurse and doctor ponies surrounding my, wait why are they leaving? Oh right, the screaming thing. Well now it’s just me and P’ (Ugh, dat rhyme). P’ stands up and walks to the bedside.
"Welcome back. Twilight took us to PonyVille’s hospital. A whole bunch of unicorns just healed you, you should have seen it, it was Super Rad."
“I get the feeling that you’re not staying.”
“Yeah, well Twi’ still wants me explain how we got here, so…”
“Ya, ya. Go take care of your ‘diplomat’ problems. I guess I’ll just you know, be here.”
He nods and then walks out of the room. Well, now I’ve got some time to kill. Guess I’ll play around with the most advance piece of technology in this entire world.
“I wonder if my map can run Crysis.”