Ponies, Travelers, and this guy

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Hoody jumped through the stunned ranks of the charging changelings, sending one flying.

"HOOOOOOO WEEE! HOME RUN!" He laughed as the flying changeling crowded, he kept running, faster and faster and faster, that little devil was fast!

Left and right he smacked changelings stupid, at one point doing a backflip, landing on one's back, smacking it on the ass with the bat and sending it into hysterics, barreling into it's comrades left and right. Chrysalis watched the action slack jawed, here and there, clouds of changelings flew into the air courtesy of Hoody's devastating blows, a select hoof full of them going fast enough to make an F-16 jealous. He himself was almost invisible due to the insane speed in which he was slipping and sliding and swinging and dodging with.

"It's like I'm watching you fly through the windshield in slow motion." He commented, repeatedly smacking into a particularly large Changeling who was howling in anger and pain as it swiped left and right, it's actions sending it's brethren left and right due to it's sheer size. Eventually he broke through the enormous buggy clusterfuck, opening a clear path when he incapacitated the massive spawn and kicked it so hard and with so much power he sent it skidding across the ground like an oversized bowling ball to pins, knocking down everything in its way.

"C'mon Apples! We're leaving!" He shouted in joy leaping over slack-jawed spawn and grabbing the even further stunned pony."

"Now wait just a darn tootin' minute there!" She shouted, even as he scooped her up with ease and ran off like he was a Ethiopian Athlete high on sugar and meth.

"AFTER HIM YOU FOOLS!" Shouted the Queen, and so the massive hive of (pissed off) spawn went rampaging through the forest.

Meanwhile

"GET OFF! GEDOFFGEDOFFGEDOFF!"

Crushric held on for dear life as the Royal Guard's Pony barreled through the streets of Canterlot.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Screamed Ric as the duo crashed through market stalls, stuck up nobles, houses, at one point the duo emerged from a house with Crushric wearing an adorable pink apron and the Royal Guard wearing so much make-up he looked like a Geisha.

"GEEET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!"He shouted once more.

"SWEET JESUS DOES THIS THING HAVE AN SEAT BELTS?!?"  shouted Crushric, legs flailing as he desperately held onto the pony's mane.

"OF course it does! All biological things do! It's called a brain! YOUR GODDAM BRAIN STOPS YOU FROM DOING THIS STUPID SHIT." Shouted Cortana in his head.

"Well thanks for that- oh hey! What the hell is that?" The company of 3 stopped, that is to say, the Royal Guardsmen (who has yet to be named) abruptly slammed his biological brakes and Crushric went head over heels flying onto a nearby rooftop.

"Is that a giant dust cloud?" He asked, and indeed, it seemed to be getting closer.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH." Suddenly, a massive cloud of dust appeared right smack in the middle of Canterlot Plaza, oddly just a below Crush's building.

"...Wonder what that is?" He peered over the side of the building.

=================

Hey all! Kinda takin' a break from the combat! Whew! Runnin' like Sonic the friggin Hedgehog is definitely tiring. The only reason I'm talkin' right now is cuz I slipped into the Nexus with Applejack here, but she's fighting like a hellion and swearing twice as much, guess it's a first timer's thing.

Anyway, Road Runners, High-tailers, Wabbajacks, Walking tornados, Air Runners, Time Skaters, Muther-Fucking-Trail Blazers. That's what a "Walker is".

Hey, did I ever mention how to even enter the Abject Nexus? I don't think so....hmm.....now's a good a time as any.

ALRIGHTY! So, you know how there are TECHNICALLY 2 barriers that can be broken to achieve speed unimaginable? There's the sound barrier and light barrier! Well, I take it you all know your basic astronomy right? Okay then! Brace yourselves!

The first barrier, the sound barrier is broken to achieve unimaginable velocity because you have broken past the speed of sound. That's common knowledge, so MOVING ON! Then there's your light barrier. Light is what (most) beings use to see, the light is translated through various neurons in the brain to create a picture. If one was to say, break past that barrier, you'd be flying blind so to speak. Now, that might not be relevant at all but consider this: Isn't a black hole the only thing able to capture light?

Totally out of left field right? Well anyway, a certain scientists (*cough cough* DISABLED scientist) came across the theory that a black hole (a.k.a a Singularity) can somehow bend the laws of time and space.

WHICH brings me to a point we've (somehow) meandered too: the third breakable barrier is time. Past light, and past sound is the barrier of time which ties in directly to the light barrier which we use to judge time of day, or hour or even time of the month! And further still, in the breakable zone is the ultimate speed.

Past the speed of logic. Past the speed of physics, astrology, biology, this means that you are going so fast that you have passed through the Universal Binary's code and are now out of the system.

And thus, this is where the Abject Nexus lies, a wormhole outside time and space verging on the abyss of madness-

OH GOD IT SPAT US OUT IN MIDDAIR. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

==============

Crushric used a hand to fan away the dust and debris as he leapt down to observe first hand, whatever the hell had crashed. Hearing groaning, he made his way over to a destroyed stand, wood and splinters everywhere and all that was in sight. Suddenly a piece of the wood rustled and moved slightly, with haste he made his way over and picked up the massive chunk of plywood.

"Oh...it's you." He said in a monotone voice as he saw the splayed form of Hoody with a discombobulated Applejack.

"Last...time...ah'm...ever...trustin'...you." Said the Earthpony before throwing up all over a nearby wall and passing out.

"Hey Ric....sorry." Hoody got up as if nothing happened, brushed off his coat, and offered an apologetic look.

Crushric punched him in the face.

"That was for my twins." He then pulled up the dazed Traveler and hugged him. "And that was for not sending any messages! How ya been dude?!" He said patting Hoody on the back who was coughing and turning blue from the vice like grip.

"Fine..can't...breath..." he muttered a bit before Ric got the message and backed off.

"But seriously, how ya been? Oh! And how's Spinsky?"

"Ah I'm fine, Spinsky's doin' okay too, left him a couple dimensions back since he took a liking to the candy kingdom."

"Huh, the little guy was always something huh?"

The two of them shared a couple laughs as they finally had some time between themselves.

"AHEM!" Suddenly a voice interrupted their chat.

Oh, did I forget to mention Queen Chrysalis and about 50 Changelings survived the Nexus and followed them?

"So, who's the broad?" Asked Ric as  Chrysalis shook off the dirt and stood, staring at the two. If looks could kill, her's would disintegrate the town.

"Dunno, some random bug lady that kinda came outta nowhere. Say, why were you tryin' to kill us anyway?" Asked Hoody.

Chrysalis had about enough of these monkey fighting snakes on this monday to friday plane (what..what?!?)

"KILL THEIR ASSES!" She shouted, and the Changelings rushed forward.

"...Pissed off the natives?" Crushric stood there and slowly leaned down, scooping up a handful of dirt, suddenly it began shifting as he grabbed some metal, wood, and rocks, becoming a sniper rifle.

"Oh yeah, say, up for a bit of asswhopping?" Asked Hoody calmly swinging his bat from side to side. Crushric grinned under his helmet.

"Oh hell yeah."

Hoody returned the smile and pointed and jumped onto the nearest Changeling's face, beating it repetadly with the bat.

"Yo i'ma be on your head till I hit tonsels"

While Hoody was doing...whatever, Crushric wasn't really sure, Hoody had just kinda leapt into the nearest group and started smacking face. Crushric was vaguely aware of a rubber duck somehow exploding. Other than that, he was dropping fools like a 50% day at your local Best Buy after Black Friday.

A Changeling ran up to him, he leg dropped it while shooting it's brethren who was leaping above it in the face, pivoting on his hand to deliver a 360 tornado kick while using the other to morph the sniper into a .44 magnum which he promptly hip shot somehow killing 3 more changelings.

Meanwhile

"WOO! I'm battin' a thousand!" Hoody had the widest smille as he leapt from building to building, air bouncing, wall running, and ass handing as he managed to take down 14 by picking up a rock, batting it in the face of the nearest changeling, throwing a ducky bomb from his trust duffel bag, and kicking the dazed/stuck parasprite to it's fellows, turning them into giblets.

Though, that wasn't the only thing his bat could do.

"HAHA! WE'VE GOT YOU!" Shouted Chrysalis after he'd wandered too close and gotten insnared in her telekinetic magic. He started struggling for a minute or two before smiling knowing and reclining, all around him changelings licked their chops as they crowded.

"Hey Ricky!" Hoody called out. Crushric looked up from the mountain of dead or K.O'd changelings he was standing on like some cyber-punk Conan.

"Boom Boom combo?" Asked Hoody smiling dovishly.

Crushric returned the smile as he morphed the pistol he was holding back into the sniper.

"Ohoho yes."

Hoody suddenly smacked his palm on the bottom of the bat. It started shaking and heating up, giving off steam. He then pointed it towards a still confused Chrysalis as the top of the bat swung off to reveal a barrel holding a massive bullet shaped canister.

"BOOM!" Hoody shouted firing.

"BOOM!" Crushric replied shooting the bullet when it was mere inches away from Chrsalis's face.

Instantly the bullet exploded, but in a rather odd fashion. The giant ball of shrapnel and flames imploded. And Chrysalis's  stomach dropped. She had time to think one thought.

"Crap, black hole"

And thus, the group of changelings got sucked into the singularity shrieking.

Hoody was released minutes before the Singularity finished and as he ran over to Crushric, the two calmly strolled away sharing a bro-fist as the energy gathered from the Singularity imploded upon it's self, supernovaing.

"And that there is how you get er done!" Hoody shouted whopping with joy.