Canterlot Tales

Canterlot Tales

Chapter 4: Octavia’s Tale

“Though he had already written some notable chamber music, Beethooven’s first symphony was what made him famous across all of Equestria. The modest concert hall it opened in was unable to deal with the demands and half way through the run it moved to the Royal Concert Hall,” Octavia explained. “Part of what made it so popular was that ponies were convinced it was a musical journey through the Last Pegasus War, a topic that was considered impolite to talk about, as it had only been a hundred years since peace had been achieved. During his lifetime Beethooven never confirmed that the symphony had anything to do with the Last Pegasus War, but people assumed he simply didn’t want to play politics, and let his work speak for itself.

The traditional interpretation of the five movements of his first symphony was this: In the first movement, the brass and percussion mimic the sound of thunder in a terrible storm, while the strings and woodwinds shrill and howl like the wind. This was thought to represent the surprise weather attack the Pegasus army launched at the beginning of the war. The second movement is rhythmic, even simplistic, with heavy downbeats and consistent meter. This was thought to represent the Pegasus armies flying into battle in armored battalions. The third movement becomes a duel between two different musical themes, one based in the strings, the other in the brass section. This was assumed to represent the duel between the Pegasus generals that finally ended the war. The fourth movement is generally considered the most beautiful, it’s a haunting piece, with a slow, quiet theme passed between the sections, constantly echoed, sometimes with three variations being played at different meters at the same time. It was thought that this represented the afterlife for the two generals who both died of their wounds after the duel, and the sorrow of the ponies who had lost loved ones in the war. The fifth and final movement is full of nature sounds mimicked by the woodwinds. It begins soft, then builds to a final climax where the brass enter suddenly, then are stifled by the strings. It has no real resolution, and when it first was performed many ponies sat and waited for the music to continue. This was thought to represent the natural world carrying on despite this great tragedy, while the ending perplexed people. Perhaps it meant that war could return at any moment? Or that danger still lurked in the world. There was a great deal of scholarly debate.

Well when he died his family went through his notes and journals, looking to see if he had left behind any pieces of composition that hadn’t been heard. His brother went through his journals, and was shocked to find that they were full of tales of his sexual conquests. Not wanting to offend Beethooven’s widow, he hid the journals away until she had passed on as well. Once she was gone, he began reading the entries written before Beethooven’s first symphony,” Octavia said.

“This is the least sexy story, ever?” Rainbow Dash asked herself. “Yeah, ever.”

“You know, if you don’t want to sit through stories, don’t ask ponies to tell them,” Applejack replied.

“I like stories, I do. I just want the story to live up to the hype. A scary story must be scary, a sexy story needs somepony getting down and dirty,” Rainbow Dash said.

“I’m sorry, someone else can tell a story-” Octavia said.

“Oh no girl, don’t let this one ruin it for you. The rest of us are enjoying it just fine,” Applejack said.

“I know I am. I’d never read much about the interpretations of classical music,” Twilight said.

“Besides, you need a good lead up. Otherwise it’s no better than those smutty comics stallions read where a pony just walks in and mounts a mare,” Rarity said.

Most of the other ponies laughed.

“What?” Rarity asked.

“Real familiar with them comics, Rarity?” Applejack asked.

“Oh no, you’re not going to make it out like I’m the only one who’s seen them, you all know what I’m talking about,” Rarity said.

“I don’t,” Derpy said.

“Okay, most of you know what I mean,” Rarity said.

“I’m not sure I know either,” Twilight said.

Rarity buried her face in her hooves.

“Aw, there there Rarity, I know what you mean. I’ve stumbled across Big Mac’s stash in the hayloft,” Applejack said.

“That’s a good stash,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Come again?” Applejack asked.

“Well it’s where he hides his cider too. Do I look like the kind of pony who finds a stack of comics and doesn’t read them?” Pinkie Pie replied.

“I gotta tell him to move that. If you found it then Apple Bloom might,” Applejack said.

“Girls, please, let Octavia continue,” Cheerilee said.

“You sure you want me to continue?” Octavia asked.

“Yes we do,” Twilight said. “And if Rainbow Dash interrupts again she doesn’t get to tell a story.”

“What?”

“You heard the pony,” Applejack said. “Not another word.”

“Fine,” Rainbow Dash said with a pout.

“Very well, where was I?” Octavia asked. “Yes, the journals. It turns out that around the time Beethooven was writing his first symphony he was engaged in five affairs in Canterlot, and wrote about them in great detail in his journal.

The first mare was called Stratus Air, and she was a weather pony in Canterlot. Beethooven saw her in the sky one day and had to meet her, so he followed her all around town until she landed for a break. She was a light grey pegasus with a long blue mane. They talked over lunch, but when Beethooven asked her if she’d like to accompany him for dinner that evening, she told him she was really only interested in pegasi, not unicorns.

Well, Beethooven was persistent. He learned a spell that allowed him to walk on clouds, so he got a few pegasus stallions to lift him up the cloud level so he could find Stratus Air. She was so impressed by his dedication that they began meeting in the evenings. In his journals, Beethooven said that she would float a cloud down to him in his back garden and he would cast his spell then step on. Then they’d go up to the misty air around the waterfalls and make love. She was saving herself for a pegasus she wanted to marry, so Beethooven would use his tongue. He said that when she could take no more she started pounding on the cloud with her hooves, which usually meant he was hit with a jolt of lightning or two every time they met. His journals say she tasted like static and ozone, and that she- I can’t believe I’m saying this, that her mouth knew its way around a stallion’s member that he knew she had likely taken quite a few lovers up into the clouds around he falls.”

“I have never been this jealous of pegasus ponies in my life!” Pinkie Pie said. As she spoke the door opened and Fluttershy started to enter. “Cloud sex sounds so nice. Like, like doing it in a bowl of marshmallows.”

Fluttershy let out a yelp and slammed the door shut again. The girls laughed.

“You’d need a lot of marshmallows, Pinkie,” Twilight said.

“No, what I need is a super sweet pony who’s great at magic and knows how to cast a cloud walking spell,” Pinkie replied, batting her eyelashes at Twilight dramatically.

“And why would you need me to do that, Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“Because Dash-”

A blue blur tackled Pinkie out of her seat.

“Well I believe somepony owes me twenty bits,” Rarity said as Dash desperately tried to muzzle Pinkie Pie. Applejack grumbled as she pulled a back of bits out of her luggage.

“Alright girls, we’re being rude,” Cheerilee said. “Octavia, please continue.” Octavia cleared her throat and began again.

“Anyway, at the same time he was meeting another mare, an Earth pony named Ember Glow,” Octavia said. “She was the daughter of a blacksmith, and his journals say she was a chestnut colored pony with a bright red mane and tail. She was apprenticing under her father’s tutelage, and very busy. Beethooven’s journals say he met her while getting a set of shoes repaired and he had found her quite beautiful. He purposefully broke every metal thing he owned and brought them by for an excuse to see her. Eventually they started a more personal relationship. Beethooven would send her a note telling her when to take a break from the forge. He would levitate up to her bedroom window and she would let him in. Her chambers were right over her father’s workshop, but thankfully smithing is loud work. He would take her from behind, with his face buried in her mane, which always smelled of smoke. But, they had to work in time with the hammer strikes below, which was torture, because the strikes were very slow and steady, and both of them wanted to let loose and, well, you can imagine how hard it was to keep up that slow steady rhythm when they began to climax. Sometimes the father would get impatient with his daughter’s long breaks and come looking for her. Beethooven said that more than once he had to leap out of the second story window and try to levitate himself to the ground, and he wasn’t always successful.”

“Now that sounds a bit more painful than getting shocked,” Cheerilee said.

“If I remember correctly he broke an ankle on one occasion,” Octavia said. “His third lover was a unicorn pony named Citrine. She was a waiter at a cafe, which was where Beethooven met her. He said in his journal that he was her last table on a shift, and they hit it off so well that she stayed and had dinner with him. She was a bright yellow mare, with a short, curly orange mane. She lived in an apartment in Canterlot’s business district, which as you probably know is very tightly packed. Her apartment was very small, with very thin walls. Beethooven was visiting her one day when her neighbors started going at it. Beethooven was shocked at how easily you could hear it. Citrine complained that it had been going on for months, but she didn’t have the heart to complain to to ponies about making love. Beethooven suggested that maybe they just needed to show the neighbors how thin the walls were. Well she readily agreed. She threw him on her bed, which was up against the shared wall and climbed on top of him. She let out months of frustration, screaming, slamming the bed against the wall. He said it was some of the best, and easily the loudest sex he had ever had. By the time Citrine was done with him his ears were ringing and his hips were sore. But amazingly, the neighbors didn’t stop, the just got louder and louder. After that, whenever Beethooven came by, if one couple started having sex the other tried to out do them. Literally.

His fourth lover was a noble unicorn in the high court, who was actually one of his patrons.”

“His what?” Derpy asked.

“She paid him to write songs, and then she would have them performed at the parties she hosted,’ Octavia explained. “Her name was Serene Sea, she was a tall, beautiful mare, with a dark blue coat and a teal mane. Because of her position in court she couldn’t be seen alone with Beethooven, so they met in her bath house. It was a beautiful marble room in her manor. She was a patron of many of the best musicians of the time, and had quite an ear for music. When they made love, she would hum, and it would echo in the marble room. Beethooven said that on more than one occasion he became so distracted with her singing and humming tunes along with her that he would forget that he was inside of her. Their meetings lasted for hours, and when servants came Beethooven would duck under the water until they left. In his journal, he talks about a servant who always wanted to make small talk when she brought towels or a glass of water. Beethooven said that on more than one occasion he was running out of air, he would have to tug on Serene Sea’s tail to get her to send the servant away. And once, they heard a servant coming, Serene Sea just told him to keep going. So he had to dive underwater and lick her without air until the servant left.”

“If she was his patron he must have been terrified of displeasing her,” Twilight said. “In those days, a bad word from a patron could have ruined his career.”

“Oh I suspect she knew just what kind of position he was in,” Rarity said. “I bet she enjoyed it immensely.”

“Serene Sea actually shows up in the journals of many ponies from that time,” Octavia said. “She patroned many artists, and had quite a few famous lovers.

The fifth and final mare Beethooven was involved with at the time was an Earth pony named Rosealine, she was the Royal Groundskeeper, and she tended to the gardens around the Royal Palace. She had a pink coat and a deep red, wavy mane. Beethooven met her at a party held on the palace grounds. They had both had a good bit to drink, and they snuck off into the garden to find a private spot. Beethooven said she was quiet as could be at first, her moans barely audible over the sounds of the birds, but when she began to climax she got louder and louder until he had to put a hoof in her mouth to get he from crying out. After that night they began meeting regularly, but Rosealine always wanted to make love outside, either in her private garden, or on the Royal Grounds. Beethooven wrote that each time she would promise to be silent, but each time she would begin to cry out when she climaxed. More than once the pair had to stop their lovemaking to avoid being found by a passerby, and those meeting Rosealine loved the most. He even wrote of an instance that they were found out. It was very early in the morning and they were making love in an arbor, Rosealine was bent over a stone bench with Beethooven behind her. Suddenly a young couple appeared, simply walking through the arbor. They spotted Beethooven and Rosealine and all four stopped suddenly. Then without saying anything, the couple silently walked past. Beethooven was about to dismount but Rosealine demanded that he finished, and when she climaxed she made no attempt to be quiet. Beethooven suspected she could be heard clear across the gardens.”

“Oooohhhh,” Pinkie Pie began, but Rainbow Dash simply shoved her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth.

“Well, after describing his five lovers, Beethooven wrote that while the women he slept with were very pleasant, and the sex was wonderful, he was growing tired of secret trysts that left him shocked, dropped out of windows, sore in the hip, drowned, and covered in rose thorns. So he had sworn off his illicit affairs, and began writing a symphony to get them out of his system. Suddenly his brother knew the real meaning behind the five movements of Beethooven’s first symphony, they were each written about one of his lovers,” Octavia said.

The realization dawned on the other ponies at different speeds, while others had seen it all along, but they all stamped their hooves as she finished her story.

“Alright, I admit, that was pretty enjoyable,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie said, “I wish we weren't on a train.” Pinkie grabbed Rainbow Dash’s face. “Clouds.”

“What?”

“Clouds.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, why don’t you too go find Fluttershy,” Applejack suggested.

“Yes, I’m sure she’s bored of hanging around the dining car,” Rarity said.

“Alright, we’ll go find her,”Rainbow Dash said. “And when we get back, I’m going to tell the most awesome story any of you have ever heard.”

Once the two ponies left Twilight and Rarity began laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Derpy asked.

“Oh, just that Applejack here was quite certain that Rainbow Dash and Pinkie would never start seeing each other,” Rarity said. “Now, what was it you said? Not in a million years, a billion years?”

“Can’t believe they cost me twenty bits. That was prime souvenir money,” Applejack said.

“Oh AJ, be happy for them,” Twilight said.

“Oh I am, surely. I’m just mad I didn’t see it coming. Never should have made that bet,” Applejack replied.

“Very true darling, I’m quite certain I have won every bet you’ve ever made against me,” Rarity said.

“I’m swearing off gambling, that’s that.”