Chapters I think my "Blood" is going through my "Wires" Technical Shizzle-Wizzle, it's tough, like life. The real "Light" hurts all, like an "Arrow" It's simple, the "Muramasa" is the demon sword. Let me tell you a story. It's time for your "Execution", Xero The Chaos hides in the Dark. Live by the "Angel", Die by the "Blade" Negativity is what breaks things The Heart is "Blue, but so is "Death", Part 1 The Heart is "Blue, but so is "Death", Part 2 Let in the light from the crystal window "All Purpose" problem solver, a "Sword" Try to be a bit less creepy, a bit more friendly, a bit less angry, a bit more nice Xero is old as the "Masamune" and wise as shit Son of Liberty, Father of Freedom The Wrath of "Jebediah", "Immolation" is the only way Y to X and back to Y The Music is flowing like "Tears" Sometimes, the past haunts, sometimes, it hunts My name is "Xero", prepare to die! Part 1 My name is "Xero", prepare to die! Part 2 Falling into Equestria Xero says; You need to know your limits, for me, they're very high Epilogue: It all fades to Red View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
I think my "Blood" is going through my "Wires"
"I, who... who are you? WHAT are you? And why are you so rude?" Twilight was astonished at this strange creature, with his normal-enough stature, raymanian appearance, and vulgar greeting.
"Okay, listen, I'll answer all of your questions, may I take a seat?" Xero asked, much more polite sounding.
"Um, sure, you can just, sit on the couch." Twilight stammered, this being was confusing, probably bi-polar.
Xero took a seat on the couch and laid across it, stretching and giving a satisfied sigh.
Twilight left the room for a second to get some quills and paper.
The black-and-white haired man looked through his equipment.
Joy Colt double-barrel .500SW magnum revolver, Bloodwire razor-whip gauntlets, the Aeroblade information, the actual thing was missing. 1 APS, and that was it, his ammo box had enough ammo for as long as he would need, something else was there, something big, he couldn't focus on it, but it was there.
Twilight returned to the room with a few scrolls, a well of ink, and a quill.
"You ponies don't even have pens or pencils?" Xero asked in disbelief, he wasn't sure on the history of technology, but he knew the internal-well pens were widely accepted after they were proven to work, he used them so often when writing down cheat-codes for video games or practicing his kanjis for his always-planned-never-enacted vacation to Japan.
"A what?" Twilight was minorly confused, was this 'pen' a piece of technology, what was he comparing it to, the fireplace? The couch? The quill?
"A pen, it's a writing utensil, like a quill and pot but the pot is condensed down inside the quill, and only writes when enough pressure is on the tip of the quill." Xero explained, he only had a vague knowledge of such menial things.
"Okay, um, right, I still need you to answer some basic questions." Twilight got the conversation back on track.
"Sure, ask away." Xero accepted.
"Okay, well, for starters, what's your name? my name is Twilight, by the way, Twilight Sparkle." Twilight began.
"Xero, X-e-r-o, no last name, I wasn't given one, my real name is lost, so I just go by the one they gave me, Xero, again, X-e-r-o." the man answered.
"Who are 'they'?" Twilight prodded.
"MBORF, dangerous people, humans, like me, I'm a human, h-u-m-a-n, anyways, they put machinery in my body, and I've worked for them for 2 years, but then I got into some trouble, had to kill an alien that our rival possessed, my friend Omega took charge with the killing part, he's a great guy, don't get me wrong, I hate his guts and I'm not gay, back to my story, so, we attacked MBORF's enemy, Bio. Int., and killed them all, no survivors, I'm a master of speed and agility, perception and dexterity, blades and plenty strong too. Don't worry though, I don't hurt those who don't deserve it, I don't do wrong to those who haven't done wrong, I'm a disciplined ninja, I fight for honor, and if the enemy is really bad? For fun. It's just what I do, what I've done, what I'm going to do, I'm tired of running, and this place is peaceful enough, I'm going to stay here, no protests. I'm not going to take no for an answer, I'll kill to get some peace of mind." Xero ranted.
Twilight was furiously taking notes, she was growing unsure of Xero's mental health, but from a psychiatric look, he was just deeply traumatized by a life of violence.
A few hours of Q&A went by, Xero cut the chatter all of a sudden.
"Can I stay here in this library for the night?" Xero suddenly asked.
"Huh? Is it nighttime already?" Twilight querried, one look out the window answered her.
It was indeed nighttime.
"Huh, would you look at that, to answer your question, sure, just don't break or damage anything." Twilight laid down the rule.
"Don't worry, I'm careful, all I need is a blanket and a pillow, if you have one?" Xero assured.
"Yeah, I have some spares in the linen's closet, let me just go get those." Twilight responded, getting up from her seat and heading to retrieve the items in demand.
Xero looked up at the ceiling, amusing himself with the patterns that the grain of the wood made, tracing the lines in and out and all around, Twilight returned after a minute.
"Here you go, get well and rested, tomorrow I need to introduce you to the rest of Ponyville." Twilight informed.
"Yeah yeah, alright, I'm snoozin', I'm snoozin'." Xero dismissed, his youthful body fueled his mind in excess, his young asshole self was coming through a lot more than he would like.
"Right, goodnight." Twilight said to her blue-clad guest.
*snore* Xero responded.
The pair slept soundly.
<>
Xero awoke to the sound of hooves on hard wood, he shot up to look around, he found Twilight trotting down the stairs.
"Good morning Twilight." he greeted the lavender mare.
"Hm? Oh, good morning Xero, how'd you sleep?" Twilight greeted, Xero's more positive attitude cheered her up.
"Like a rock, to be honest, this couch is really fuckin' comfortable, I'll have to get my own, when I get my own house." Xero replied.
"Taking initiative already? Good to know you're a hard worker." Twilight complimented.
"Yeah, I once charged into the middle of a crowd of deadly black and white mutants to save my friend who almost died, and not even 10 seconds later, did die, luckily he blew himself up to kill most of the mutants." Xero revealed.
"I, I don't know what to do with this information..." Twilight was confused.
"Put it in a jar and save it for a rainy day." Xero joked, he got up, stretched, and laughed.
"You're a very strange stallion, Xero, you know that?" Twilight giggled as she entered the kitchen to make breakfast.
"Asterisk Man." Xero corrected.
"What?" Twilight was confused again.
"I mean the little symbol, like a, like a... *, like that, I'm a man, not a stallion, different term for a different species." Xero explained.
"You amuse me as much as you confuse me." Twilight replied.
"That was a rhyme, time to kill yourself." Xero suddenly said.
"Yeah, wait, WHAT!?" Twilight responded, horrified.
Xero merely poked her in the neck and laughed.
"It's an old joke my squad had, we hated rhyming, so any time one of use rhymed unintentionally while speaking, we would say 'I just rhymed, time to kill myself.' and then the one who did it would poke themselves in the neck and say 'done', then we would move on with our conversation." Xero explained to dark activity.
"That's a little bit, sick, don't you think?" Twilight was, through the power of mental will, both making breakfast and talking to Xero.
"Not if you REALLY hate rhyming." Xero justified poorly.
"Uh huh, right, oh, look at that, breakfast is ready." Twilight informed, levitating a pair of plates and piling them with food.
"Alright, I'm so hungry, I could.... never mind." Xero caught himself before finishing the practically ancient saying.
"Right, well, dig in." Twilight said, ignoring Xero's sudden bout of awkwardness.
Xero picked up the fork in front of him and looked at the food on his plate.
It was some sort of fried hay and strange oat stuff, with bits of apple mixed in.
"What the fuck? This looks like some kinda fancy horsssse feeeeeee.........." Xero trailed off, looking at his host, who ate the meal happily.
He facepalmed, of COURSE it was like fancy horse feed, it was made by a FUCKING HORSE!
"I think we have a dilemma here." he interrupted Twilight's chewing.
"Whas zat?" she said with her mouth full.
"Welllll........" Xero explained one part of humans he had forgotten about last night.
Their diet.
<>
Twilight sat there in shock at the information she was presented with.
She, unlike before, completely feared the man in front of her.
He had explained how humans are omnivores, it was in their nature to kill animals and eat them.
From the information he had given her last night, on his planet, there weren't ponies, but a species of equines that were just that, animals, and people, in some countries, ate them for food.
She feared death instinctually, it was a universal fear, but she REALLY feared being killed and eaten , that was something she did NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, want to happen.
He could do it, right now, he could kill her, roast her body, and eat it, and nopony would be the wiser until it was far too late, he could go at Mach 3 speeds, or so he claimed, if he was telling the truth, he could be long gone before anypony found her remains or even thought to look for her.
But he didn't, Xero merely stared at her.
"I'm just going to ask for some pancakes, if that's okay. Maybe some peanut butter or jelly too? Maybe both? Ponies do have dairy products and refineries, don't they? From cows and various plants, right? You told me a lot about the cooking stuff that ponies do, I don't want to be a burden, I'm just asking for something that my body can properly digest, y'know, without me vomiting or shitting myself? There are plants that give protein, right? I could use a temporary alternative to meat, y'know." Xero asked awkwardly.
"Right, sure, I'll get right on that." Twilight happily accepted, she felt almost breathless at the relief, Xero was not going to kill and eat her, granted, he was going to kill and eat something else, but that was later.
Having a proper breakfast, Xero joined Twilight in going outside and introducing him to the townsfolks.
Hopefully it would be easy.
Hopefully
<>
Nopony flipped their shit, that was a plus.
They didn't even so much as freak out, that was a HUGE plus.
In fact, they were more curious than fearful, and Xero laughed at the cute expressions of curiousity the ponies had.
Xero suddenly lashed out.
Pinkie Pie was stopped mid-air, a mere inch from Xero's hard metal shoe, everypony gasped.
"Don't, fucking, sneak up, on me." he warned the now scared pink mare.
"You don't like surprises?" she asked, eyes watering.
"No, no I don't, me and surprises have a history, and it isn't pretty." Xero assured.
"Oh, I understand, not everypony likes surprises, but your not a pony now are you? What are you anyways?" Pinkie asked.
"I'm a human, h-u-m-a-n, I stand on 2 legs and some say that humans evolved from an ancient species that split off into 2 branches, one branch became monkeys, the other became humans. That's how the story goes." Xero explained
"Don't worry, don't try to tackle me and I won't bash your skull in." Xero assured poorly.
"Ha, okay, so, well, I have to go, byeee." Pinkie lilted as she jumped into the air, stopped mid jump, and zoomed off.
Xero didn't really care about what just happened.
Moving quickly away from the site, a massive crowd of ponies followed the pair.
Xero found himself on a stage, he apparently was expected to give an introductory speech.
He would nail this.
<>
He did not nail it.
His expectations were to have everyone in Ponyville adore him, his fluctuating testosterone levels from his youth-regained body gave him a case of Tourettes, the best he could hope for was positive feelings and a sense of safety.
It would have to do.
The crowd cleared out, leaving only 1 pony.
Rainbow Dash.
"So, what's up, your Zero huh?" Dash greeted the 6 foot tall man.
"No, I'm Xero, not Zero, you have it wrong, it's X-e-r-o, not Z-e-r-o." Xero corrected.
"Right, hey, you say you're a speed-demon huh?" Dash questioned, her tone was mocking.
"Yeah? What about it?" Xero challenged.
"Well, some ponies say I have a habit of making stupid bets, I do, I have a house up in the sky, if you can beat me there, I'll let you crash at my place for as long as you want." Dash proposed.
"You're on, my little host." Xero accepted the challenge with gusto.
Dash got into racing position, Xero followed suit.
The 2 were off like thunder and lightning.
It was a victory by a long-shot.
<>
The Ji-bine circuits were fully functional, Xero could walk and stuff on water, and therefore, walk and stuff on clouds.
He won the race in 9 seconds flat.
Rainbow Dash arrived several seconds later.
"Huh? How did you....? I didn't see you....? How did you get here so fast without me seeing you?" Dash sputtered.
"I'm a ninja, even in broad daylight you can't see me speeding around, until it's too late, and sometimes not even then." Xero explained.
"I didn't think ninjas were real." Dash doubted.
"Well I didn't think magical talking ponies were real either, and look how far we've come since then." Xero could feel his Tourettes flaring up.
Right, well, nice, listen though, I'm just going to give you a tour of the house for right now." Dash got the conversation back on track.
"Alright then, let's see this humble abode you've got." the 6 foot tall man accepted.
It was a nice place, living room, connecting kitchen, closet, stairs up, hallway, guest room, RD's room, closet, bathroom, indistiguished room times 3, the place was lit by strange devices, a crystal with lightning in it.
It was a god-damned MAGICAL LIGHTBULB
"Nice place you got here." Xero complimented.
"Yeah, I put a lot of work into it." RD replied as she flew to a section of wall and began to pry it open.
She opened up a decent sized hole and began to squeeze through it.
Whilst she was squirming through the hole in the wall, the obvious solution would be to make said hole bigger , Xero was entranced by the sight.
He KNEW that it was a rudimentary exit, but it was like she WANTED him to see her....... mare parts.
Blushing a bit at the deprevity, he had a gained sense of 'give women their privacy' while raising Enid, granted, it was easier then because they lived in the fucking RUINS OF NEW YORK, but Xero still stared.
He approached her silently, like he always was, and gave her a small but powerful push, forcing her through.
"Oof, ugh, thanks." Rainbow Dash responded.
"Wouldn't it be easier to use the door?" Xero suggested.
"Yeah, but I need to practice escaping for when ponies I don't want to meet are at my door." Dash explained.
"I see, well, try to make the hole bigger next time, you're not as small as you think." Xero internally chastised himself, his statement was like a nicer way of saying she was fat.
"Oh yeah? What about you? You're literally, like, twice my hieght." Dash didn't get offended, she just went to insulting him back.
Xero had a thought, these ponies, not even Twilight, knew about the culture of Earth, so he could make up bullshit to make himself look awesome.
"Well, in my culture, taller men are seen as 'studs', AND they possess the most experience in all areas, so I'm a universal professional, and men who can run fast are also the smartest and most genetically superior, people who prefer blue or red are sexually superior to those who prefer other colors, it's all in my culture, on Earth." Xero was making this shit up, practically talking directly out of his ass, but RD believed every word of it.
"W-w-well th-then, I need to go." Dash shuddered at the thoughts running through her head. Xero was mysterious, and powerful, if what he said was true, but he hadn't given any reason to doubt him, just slap him upside the head for being rude all the time.
"What? You have a job or something?" Xero querried, he truly had no idea about anything in Equestria outside of what he was told.
"As the weather team captain, yeah, but I'm working on a new flying stunt and I need Applejack's help with it, I trust you can stay here by yourself, just don't break anything, and don't go into my room." RD informed, she flew away.
"Alright then, see ya later!" Xero shouted to the departing mare.
He closed the hole in the wall and looked back down the hallway.
Thanking his Ji-bine circuits for allowing him to walk on clouds and water, he walked down the hallway and into the guest room.
It was pretty standard, a bed, a window with ice for glass, lightning-crystal-magical-lightbulb lighting, a closet, it was nice.
Marking a waypoint with a waypoint device, for some reason there was a satellite orbiting this planet, 1 sattelite, with no functional demands, he hacked into it and set his waypoint, it would create a beacon of light, one that only he could see, and it would tell him where RD's house was.
Shitting on 1 of the 2 rules that Rainbow set, he entered her room, it was full of memorobilia, paraphernalia, and other big words from a group called the Wonderbolts, the gist of it, at least what he could grasp, was that they were like the Blue Angels, but ponies.
He marveled at the sight, there were posters, pictures, and even paintings covering almost every square inch of the walls and even the ceiling, the only spot that was untouched held a WB clock. He gaped at it, the bed, the walls, the CEILING, a nightstand, she had DOLLS AND SHIT, it was like an obsession that skipped over fetish and went right to skeleton-in-the-closet.
Leaving the room, he adjusted the Satanic Visor, his precious mask, named so because it amplified his vision to 666/20, more than 33 times better than average, slid his armor/armour-weave shirt into place, armor/armour-weave was a wonder material, soft like cotton, but 5 times stronger than kevlar, and the weight of wool, his whole suit weighed about 20 kilograms, visor, boots, and all.
With his attire situated, he jetted off back to town, silently crossing the sky.
Silence was his passion, besides swords, and video games, and hating Omega, he had a lot of passions, okay?
He needed some new clothes.
<>
Entering Carousal Boutique, after first asking the necessary questions to first know it existed and then FINDING the place, Xero looked around.
"Ugh, fabulousness, makes me sick." the grey skinned man complained, finding a counter-bell ringer thingy, he loved these things, and rang it.
*RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING FUCKING RING PAY ATTENTION TO MY RINGING RING RING RING MOTHERFUCKER RING RING RING THAT SHIT RING RING RING RING RING RING LELELE RING BITCH RING*
His hand was telekinetically removed from the bell.
"I heard you the first 3 times, darling" Rarity informed tersely, taking the bell and teleporting it somewhere else.
"I figured as much, I need some clothes, all I have is armor." Xero requested.
"Well, if Twilight tells the truth, and I know she does, your Xero, that human guy that literally fell into Equestria yesterday. I'd be happy to provide you with some clothes, if you have the money." Rarity would have given them for free, but Xero had thoroughly pissed her off with his aggravating tendencies.
"I do not, but I can acquire some money, I just need a job, you wouldn't happen to know where I could find one, would you?" Xero querried.
"I believe the police department could use some extra sets of hooves, try there." Rarity was surprised, for his annoying actions, Xero's speech was calming.
"Right, I'll just go then, see ya when I see ya." Xero gave his goodbye as he walked out of the door, planting a waypoint device so he wouldn't have to go through the agonizing process of asking for directions.
"Wait, I need to ask for directions to get to the police department, ssshhiiiiiiiiiiiiiit." he complained, taking to the sky to speed up the process.
This was going to be an interesting day.
<>
Xero had to do something he dreaded, something he would rather fight 10 Karys than do, hell, he would rather give up tea for a year than do what he had to do right now.
He had to read about laws.
Skimming through the pages and scanning the words, he was surprised that equish was pretty much english with a few new words, namely replacing various words like everybody or somebody to everypony or somepony, though the body words were still there, they were only used when referring to a group which contained multiple species of creatures, which may or may not include ponies.
Finishing the book after several minutes of mindlessly flipping through it, he looked up at the police chief.
The stallion's name was Lak Lustrous, Xero, to be honest, wasn't sure if this pony was a pony or a demon in disguise, with a death-black mane and tail, a smoky grey coat, piercing orange eyes, and a cutie mark of a black rimmed shield with a turquoise body and a golden sword glowing red next to it.
"You barely read it." the gruff stallion argued.
"Just give me the damn test." Xero countered, the dark stallion begrudgingly passed over the stack of papers.
Xero got to work.
The good thing about being a cyborg with no noticeable physical change was that you could record things in your head and bring them to mind at any time, so Xero basically cheated by recording the material beforehand, and bringing it up every time he needed information.
He aced that shit.
"I can't believe it, you've aced the test, well, congratulations, welcome to the force, Xero." Lak congratulated, levitating out a police badge and magically inscribing Xero's name on it.
Xero snatched it out of the air when it was done.
"SWEET, bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna-whatcha gonna doooo-o-ooooo." he sang as he left without any further instruction.
He had a problem with authority above his own, he merely took to the streets.
Equestria had a new cop on the force, and he was ready to bring down the law.
All of the law, all at once, 'bring it down' as in 'tackle it and beat it to death'.
He just really felt like it.
He was an asshole like that.
<>
Armed with a notebook and a pencil, assuring the armory manager that he didn't need any other equipment, he set out to bring the law down on criminal scum.
He stopped walking suddenly, he ran a bio-scan, he had been feeling off, the impact with that magical water knocked a few things loose, he would have to fix that eventually.
Adjusting his stature again, he continued walking.
A scream pierced the air, Xero immediately used his awareness abilities to detect the origin of the noise, reaching the site of the scream, he found a poor looking stallion with a bleeding cheek, he was crying, presumably from pain.
"What happened, tell me now damnit." Xero would not stand for this, not the crime against a male thing, but the crime itself.
"Some wicked mare ran past me with a knife, she cut me with it and stole my saddlebags." the pained pony explained.
"What direction?" Xero demanded.
"That way." the stallion pointed out, Xero immediately took off.
A few seconds later he caught up to the frantically galloping criminal, he boosted past her and landed a few meters in front of her. She stopped in her tracks.
"Stop right there, criminal scum, you have violated the law and will be therefore be punished, you're stolen items are now forfeit, comply with the law and you're sentence may be lightened." Xero announced.
The criminal mare ran in the opposite direction.
"Kiss my flank!" she taunted, running as fast as she could.
Xero tackled her, Joy Colt in hand.
"Wrong answer." Xero threatened.
"What are ya gonna do?" the mare taunted.
*SMACK*
Xero had pistol-whipped her.
"Give me *SMACK* the fucking bag *SMACK* or I'll keep *SMACK* doing this *SMACK*." he demanded as he assaulted her.
"OW, *SMACK* stop *SMACK* please *SMACK* I give up *SMACK* I give uuuup *SMACK* that really hurts you know *SMACK*." the mare pleaded.
"Of course it hurts, it's a heavy steel alloy done up in a white-gold finish, solid metal strong enough to take millions of miniature explosions, of course it FUCKING HURTS *SMACK*." Xero explained.
"I give uuuuuuup." the offender whined.
"Alright then, I have recovered the stolen items and the info from your I.D., this will go on record, if you are caught stealing again, or worse, you WILL be imprisoned, or worse." the blue haired man warned, putting away the Joy Colt and writing the record in his notebook.
"Worse?" the criminal mare stood up now.
"More beating." Xero clarified.
"I'll be good, I swear!" the mare desperately assured.
"We'll see what the future holds, I'll have that knife too." Xero insisted, holding out his hand.
The mare anxiously hoofed it over, it was 2 knives, Xero almost froze at the sight of them.
The Boomknives were special weapons, sharp enough to cut through bones, their shape based on trench knives, though much cooler looking, they had ballistic power, the blades regenerating automatically, the catch was that the blades themselves, when launched, would activate, the contained high power explosives that would detonate after a few seconds.
They were deadly, Xero snatched them away and put them into his zero-space storage.
"Where did you get those?" he asked, his voice calm again.
"I was just looking around the Everfree forest and I found them laying on the ground, I took them, cleaned them off, and came back to town." the mare eagerly gave away the information.
"Alright then, have a nice day, without breaking the law." Xero dismissed the anxious mare.
She nodded eagerly and quickly cantered away.
Xero sped into the sky, he had work to do.
<>
Searching the forest with all but a fine toothed comb, Xero had come up with 2 items.
An APS, all-purpose sword, exactly what it said on the box, a sword for all purposes, cheap, durable, and expendable, he could make a copy of it later.
The other was something that held value to him, the Grudge rifle, Omega's sniper rifle before dying, Xero checked the clip and, to his surprise, it was full, all 20 rounds were in it.
Making a model of the bullets, he put the weapon onto his magnetic back clip, securing it into place.
Searching for a few more hours came up with nothing.
Exiting the forest, very much considering burning it down, Xero trudged back to Ponyville.
Taking to the sky again, he headed to RD's house again, entering the door, he found her laying face up on the couch with an ice-bag covering her mane and another 2 covering her wings.
"Something happen?" the tall-ish man greeted his host.
"Injuries, Applejack is very dependable when she's not fighting to stay awake." Dash replied as though the answer was simple.
"I see, anything else?" he asked, trying to be polite.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, you see my saddlebag on the table there." she pointed to the bag in question, held closed by a clasp in the shape of her cutie mark.
"Yeah?" Xero wasn't sure where this was going.
"Bring it here." Dash had her eyes closed, she was in obvious pain.
Xero grabbed the bag and brought it to the cyan mare.
She reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of objects.
"I found your gloves, I think their yours, at least." she said, hoofing over the gloves.
The Sonic Blasters, Askad's gloves, they gave the wearer a sort of sonic boom enhanced punch and jab, Xero took them, letting the thoughts sink in, he over-rode the DNA locks and locked it to himself, gaining a set of rings and armor-like thimbles on his fingers, he could easily break someone's body with these.
"Thanks, I've, uh, been looking for these, yeah." he tried to be non-chalant at the thievery he was doing, then again, it was really stealing, they were up for grabs and Xero was the first one up.
"No problem, I was just flying over the Everfree Forest and I saw them, those things are really shiny, dude, might want to dull them down a bit, or a lot." Dash suggested.
"Right, I'll get on that when I have the resources." Xero assured, he walked upstairs and went into the guest bedroom.
He stared out of the ice-for-glass window, before he knew it, it was nighttime, and he was staring at the moon and the stars.
He laid down to sleep, he could use the rest.
He had a LOT of work to do.
A LOT.
Like, a LOT, a LOT.
Like a fucking tonne of shit to do.
Like a fuck-shit-stack-tonne of things to do.
I'll stop now.
Xero dreamed of peace, peace he was working on getting.
Author's Note
so sorry for delays, though from experience, I know my readers don't give a shit.
Next chapter, stuff will happen.
See you next time.
I <3 you all, byeeeee.
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Technical Shizzle-Wizzle, it's tough, like life.
It had been a few days, Xero made plenty of money, he had stopped all crime in Ponyville, even the minor stuff, he was paid well.
Settling on taking odd jobs, Xero was busy amassing a stock of money.
Searching the forest, he found a really high up cave that stretched all the way down the mountain, it was full of materials to make stuff with.
Starting with a basic computer setup, Xero worked for hours on the tech he had, improving it in all parameters, and generally making it better.
Making the necessary machinery, Xero decided to counterfeit several million bit units in coins, using obsidian to make dark bits, which were worth 1,000,000 bit units, he was set, he always wanted to counterfeit money, now was his chance, setting up a sanitation chamber, a charging station, a Fi-Fu reactor, all the stuff he needed, he was a fast worker, quantity over quality, however, but fast all the same.
He bought a house, decorating the inside with black wallpaper, marble floors with dark blue carpet, and having blue circle designs on the wallpaper, Xero decided it was time to get some clothes.
Entering Carousal Boutique, the tall-ish man called out to Rarity.
"Hey, I have some money, I need some new threads." he was feeling ghetto for some reason, probably unresolved issues with his technological parts.
"Comiiiiiing." the fashionista chimed.
"Oh, hello Xero, what a pleasure to see you here again, you've come to buy some clothes?" Rarity asked.
"No, I'm here for a bottle of jack and a lap-dance, OF COURSE I'M HERE FOR CLOTHES!" Xero rebuked.
"Calm down, darling, it's not that big of a deal." Rarity said.
"Right, sorry, I just get angry in short, intense bursts, but yes, I'm here for clothes." the blue haired man replied.
"Okay then, follow me darling." Rarity directed.
Xero followed the fashionista, ready for anything.
Getting measured was easy, the hard part, which made Xero want to pull his ponytail out, was the design instructions.
"Just make it simple, 2 jackets, 1 black and 1 blue, a few shirts, gray, black, and blue, with a big circle in the middle, like the Japanese flag." Xero explained.
"Right, the Japonese flag, just a big circle? Nothing else?" Rarity querried.
"Nothing else, no weird lines, ancient runes, spells to summon the devil, rhinestones, none of that shit, just plain cloth." Xero instructed.
"Right then, I'll just make those then, with such a simple design, I'll be done in less than 2 hours, you wouldn't mind waiting, would you?" Rarity questioned.
"Naw, I have stuff to do anyways, I'll come back in a bit to get them." Xero assured, he still had plenty to do.
Leaving without another word, Xero flew back to his mountain cave, he needed to work on some weapons, he liked weapons, and being armed, and killing things, and the sound the blood makes when it hits the ground.
Starting with an upgrade to the APS, he made it out of diamonds, the mining droids found plenty, he had a few dozen in stock.
The next weapon was an upgrade to the Boomknives, elongating the blades to 9 inches, an inch thick, with more powerful explosives and a larger grip.
The Bloodblasters were fine.
A new sword, called the Sephiroth, it was 15 feet long, 9 inches thick, made of mithril, a valuable material.
The Muramasa was next, using black obsidian for an extremely sharp blade, reinforcing it with more mithril, and the handle made of diamonds wrapped in white and black leather, it was a new Slicer/Blue Shark.
Getting into some serious bis-nash, he made the Catalytic lens, a gold handled lightsaber, red blade, and could shoot laser bolts with the press of a button, he was a fan of a lot of media.
The Steven was a heavily serrated diamond sword, it was for sawing things.
The Scorpion was a chain whip, the links were bladed, the head being that of a spear, he was on a roll now.
The Masamune, made with dark-matter, it weighed 1000 pounds and could break anything it didn't cut through, it was powerful, not much else could be done with it.
The Dragon Pearl, part of Xero's armor, it was a more powerful mouthpiece, by activating it, Xero could breathe poisonous fire.
The most powerful weapon Xero could think of without becoming too ridiculous, The Sword of Weakness to Swords, he put magic in this one, using RPG stat physics to support it, it would exponentially damage the opponent more and more, 1 damage on first strike, and doubling with every strike that followed, with Xero's ninja skills, that could quickly reach into the hundreds, thousands, and well into the millions and billions. He based it on an Elder Scrolls item, the Poison of Weakness to Poison.
The Wolverine, Xero was straight-up plagiarizing at this point, 3 adamantite blades, sharp and hard, he was having fun.
The Angel Blade was next, with passive perception enhancing technology, he would permanently be faster and smarter, with a blade made of blue painted red alloy, a combination of iron, carbon, lead, titanium, copper, and bromine, and a flat made of silver painted gold alloy, which added gold, platinum, and hydrogen into the mix, it was excellent. Overcharging it would boost his speed and perception up to Mach 5.
The jets on his boots got a boost in power, he rebuilt the Aeroblade and added lightning to the air-pressure slashes.
The Joy Colt was outfitted with Ultima rounds, super beefed up bullets, enhanced with armor breaking, incineration, light trail, and high explosive, Omega would be proud of this creation.
The Gravity Hammer, just like in Halo, same with the Plasma Pincer, just like the plasma sword in Halo, he got a lot of weapon ideas from video games.
He felt he was armed enough, he had 17 weapons now, 20 if you include dual-wielding the Wolverine, the Boomknives, and the APS.
Storing his weapons in a zero-space tech storage unit, a useful piece of technology, he went through the sanitation chamber, which removed everything that wasn't supposed to be there.
Leaving the cave clean and smelling fresh, Xero headed back to Ponyville, as that was the only place he knew where it was.
<>
Landing back in the middle of town, Xero parkoured the rest of the way to Carousal Boutique, parkour was an essential skill in his arsenal of knowledge.
Skidding to a halt outside of the door, the tall-ish man entered the building with suave.
"Hello, am I early to pick up my clothes?" he asked to the open air, his British accent strong in his speech.
"Comiiiing." Rarity said to her unseen guest, she entered, only to see Xero there.
"Xero, did you scare off that fancy guest?" Rarity felt the human's passive scariness factor may have lost her a client.
"I'm the only one here, I'm a fucking Englishman in case you didn't know or even notice?" Xero chastised, his accent wasn't the thickest or the most stereotypical, but it was obvious.
"Oh, I had no idea, you're harsh speech masked it very well." Rarity tried to salvage positivity.
"Whatever, I just came by to see if my clothes were done." Xero got the conversation back on track.
"Oh yes, of course, I have them finished, they were completed a few minutes ago. Follow me darling." Rarity directed.
Xero followed the fashionista into the next room, his evil and vile mind plaguing his normal thoughts, he could pretty much do whatever he wanted here, no one would survive their objection to his actions, he could reign free. He stayed nice because he liked this world the way it was.
Checking the Grudge, he was planning on keeping it, the upgrade for it had it chambered in 1.00 OMG rounds, the plasma-like state of the projectiles and the bouncing off of this air mechanism would be useful, the scope could go out 50 miles, and the muzzle velocity was about 10 miles a second, this rifle was a beast.
He took in the sight of his clothing, it was great.
2 jackets, just like he said, 1 was dark blue, the other 1 was black, a grey shirt with blue circle, blue with grey, black with grey, black with blue, blue with black, grey with black, it was really nice.
"Nice, very nice, here, take this, I don't need it, I have plenty." Xero said, flicking over a dark bit and taking the clothes.
The tall-ish man left before he could notice Rarity passed out from the magnitude of his payment.
Luckily there were no differences in the pressing between the different bits, and no government tags either, so it was good.
Putting on his new blue jacket and the grey shirt with black circle, he took to the streets, enjoying the feeling of just walking.
It was simple things like this that made Xero feel human, and, unfortunately like Omega, he liked to feel human.
It helped him forget just how much humanity he had lost.
He felt better, the ever-present depression was fading from presence, slowly but surely, he felt better about being alive.
To him and Omega, being alive was the worst thing they could possibly be doing.
<>
Coming back into town, Xero found that everypony was hiding.
"Why the fuck are they hiding? And more importantly what the fuck are they hiding from?" Xero pondered, he felt a presence approaching quickly from behind.
Lashing out a foot, Xero stopped his attacker on a dime.
"SHIT, FUCK YOU, GET OVER HERE!" Gilda shouted, trying to get to Xero to claw him to pieces.
Xero just stabbed her right in the fucking face.
"No, FUCK YOU!" he flipped off the body and t-bagged it, and set it on fire.
"What was THAT?" Dash piped up.
"She was being a bitch, she deserved to get hurt, now, to be honest, maybe I should have killed her, but she's already dead and there's no going back, and no use in dwelling on the past.
"All she did was storm off like she was mega-pmsing, she didn't deserve to DIE!" RD chastised.
"She was a second away from clawing my face off, and I prefer my face to remain un-clawed and firmly attached to my head." Xero countered.
"She was getting violent? Oh man, maybe you did the right thing after all, she has violent tendencies, and she was kicked out of 3 schools for beating the shit out of teachers and students." Dash revealed.
"Right, whatever, got any marshmallows?" Xero asked suddenly.
"You just don't give a fuck, do you?" RD guessed.
"That's something that is essential when dealing with me, that and I don't hurt those who don't deserve it, like that griffon chick deserved it, but somepony like you wouldn't." Xero philosophized.
"I see, that's great, but you might want to move the body." Dash suggested.
"Right, on it." Xero said, using the air-blaster on the Wolverine that would normally clean it to blow out the flames, he picked the burnt corpse up and carried it far away, RD accompanying him.
"So, Xero, what all do you do?" Dash querried.
"I drink a fuck-tonne of tea, play video games, be a ninja, use swords to kill people, sometimes use a gun too, I recently got into counterfeiting bits to supply myself financially, I have just a big pile of dark bits laying in my base, which is protected by a large thick wall that could take a full grown dragon throwing itself at it and not even budge, and I've made myself an arsenal of weapons, in case there's danger." Xero explained at length.
"Wow, that's... interesting." Dash was unsure, Xero sounded less like a cool guy and more like a criminal himself, ironic because he was part of the police force.
"Yeah, I think this will be a good spot." Xero pointed out, landing down in the Everfree Forest and tossing the body unceremoniously into the darkness.
He rose again a few seconds later, the act was done.
"Cool, dude, so, I'll see you back at the pad?" Dash said in goodbye.
"Naw, I have my own place, but thanks for putting up with me for the time that you did, not many can manage that." Xero thanked, the pair soared through the sky.
Landing outside of his house, Xero entered, re-equipped his normal clothes, blue jacket with grey shirt and black circle.
Walking upstairs, he merely stared at the sky until nightfall, wisdom always came to him when he looked to the sky.
Sliding under the sheets of his bed, he silently wished that he would live longer.
He was starting to enjoy being alive.
Closing his invisible turquoise eyes, Xero drifted off to sleep.
He dreamt of happiness, of freedom.
He had both, and he would fight to keep them.
Author's Note
again, OMG rounds stands for 'Omega Machine Gun' rounds.
Wrote this chapter all in one go, sorry for any mistakes, I don't really edit these before publishing them.
Xero is a fast worker, already has made plenty of personal progress, now to make interactive progress.
See you all next time, for that.
I <3 you all, byeeeeee.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The real "Light" hurts all, like an "Arrow"
Xero was walking through the city streets, he had taken to walking whenever he didn't have somewhere to go.
Coming upon town square, the tall-ish man found a stage set up.
A strange blue unicorn, wearing a purple hat and cape, was on said stage, performing magic like the 'magic' in his world, i.e. illusions, he didn't even know the basics of magic, and he could tell that that shit was FAKE and probably GAY.
He jumped up on stage with the speed of someone like him, a fucking ninja, because he's a fucking NINJA.
"I CALL BULLSHIT ON YOUR SORRY FLANK!" he shouted at the show mare.
"What is the MEANING of THIS, Trixie is the most powerful magic user in Equestria!" Trixie proclaimed.
"No, that's Twilight Sparkle, right after the Princesses, then there are all the ponies related to her, then there's 15 kilometers of shit, and then there's you." Xero put it into perspective.
"You are a fool for doubting me and an immature delinquent for using swearing to emphasize your point." Trixie countered.
"Bitch, I'm 90 YEARS OLD, granted I have the body of a 19 year old, but I digress, and swearing was made for emphasis, motherfucker." Xero retorted.
"You want Trixie to take you down with magical power never before seen in all of Equesria?!" Trixie threatened.
"GO ahead, do it, DO IT, DO EET, DO EET NOW!" Xero insisted, she had fallen right into his trap.
"I, uh, RIGHT, PREPARE to be AMAZED so much your EYES hurt." Trixie salvaged.
She had the case of 'all-bark-no-bite', like elves, Xero had compared, they claim to be high and mighty, they are, in a way, but only in one aspect, everything else they suck at, they're weak and fragile, anyone who gets in a physical hit on them would easily take them down, their fear is being challenged, but their stubbornness often leads to loss, and, in the case of table-top and video game RPGs, death.
"Go ahead, make my day." Xero challenged.
Trixie did try, she had a wide magical well, but it lacked depth, it lacked all the power to actually DO something other than appear.
Xero slam-dunked the straw that broke the camel's back, he YAWNED.
"*long yawn* Oh, was that it? okay then, my turn." Xero directed.
He jumped into the air, hovering with his jet boots, he brandished the Sephiroth, and sliced Trixie's hat in half.
"Amateur swordsmanship." Trixie brushed off the dislay.
"Well then, let me show you something advanced, bitch." Xero challenged, he dismissed the Sephiroth and summoned the Masamune, throwing the deceptively heavy blade at Trixie with extreme precision.
Trixie tried to catch it, but the Masamune was made of dark matter, a 1m long 5mm thick amount of it, which was still enough to weigh well over 2000 pounds, but sharp enough to cut through many inches of FeNiC steel in a single slash.
Trixie comically stood stock still, then the 2 halves of her fell apart, Xero zoomed away to grab the sword from the air and zoom back so fast it didn't seem like he had moved.
"BOOM, it's magic, now you're in halves, I'll just get you out of here to.... 'reverse' this, thank you, everypony, I have been Xero, and I will be Xero until I decide to change my name, see you all later." the blue haired man shouted to the crowd, grabbing the 2 halves of the body and speeding away with them.
He was having a great time in Equestria.
<>
Coming to his base, Xero found a dragon trying to enter it.
He got al up in the dragon's grill.
"Whatchu doin' HERE." he demanded, he was going British ghetto.
"I need a place to sleep." the dragon revealed.
"Sleep somewhere else, there's a town nearby and you're smokey snoring could pollute the environment." Xero explained.
"Oh, I didn't realize there was a settlement, I feel bad that I could have been a bother, maybe a nuisance, or even a threat to innocent beings, I'll just go somewhere else now." the dragon apologized.
"Too late." Xero said suddenly.
"What do you mean?" the dragon asked innocently.
Xero, rather than telling, decided to show, he used the Blood Blasters to stun the dragon, and then, he turned on the Dragon's Breath.
"FUS RO DAH!" he shouted, incinerating the dragon's eye.
Not giving time for a response, Xero jumped into the air and used the Muramasa to zoom down the dragon's back, cutting its spinal cord down the middle, using the Aeroblade to slice its wings off, he finished it with the Sephiroth, stabbing through its body and coming out of the other side, the beast was far gone dead by the time it hit the ground.
Xero landed on top of the scaly beast's body, planting the blade of his sword in its back to signify his victory.
It was a great day.
He headed home, it had been a long day, and night was coming.
He stared at the stars, a thought came to mind.
"I want to meet this 'Princess Luna', if she makes the night, I'll have to thank her, nighttime is fucking awesome." he thought aloud.
Sleeping with an APS under his pillow, he drifted off to sleep.
He dreamt of happiness, he had a lot, and it was only growing stronger.
<>
It had been a month since his honorable act of slaying a dragon. Xero had grown closer to the ponies, more mellow.
There had been a big-ass rainstorm, but he just stayed inside for a bit, calibrating his cybernetic parts, making sure everything stayed functional, then he played in the rain, something he had liked to do since he was a young man.
There had been a town-wide case of ultra-racism . Xero stayed out of it, opting to cut down some trees to up his strength, he needed to get physically stronger, he couldn't even lift a tonne.
He had to play exterminator when a bug swarm attacked the town, he used the Grudge at least a hundred times that day.
He woke up one day, he looked outside, ponies were cleaning up snow.
He rushed outside and dived into a big pile of the white slush.
"WHAT YEAR IS IT?" he demanded, he had woken up the previous day to help remove leaves from trees in the middle of Autumn, now it was the end of Winter? Hell no.
"It's 1001 A.N." the frightened pony responded.
Xero almost felt the urge to pistol-whip this pony with the Joy Colt, but it didn't rise.
"Okay then." he replied, jumping out of the snowy slush and going about his day.
Things were going slowly, he watched for 20 minutes as less than a tenth of a square kilometer was cleared of clouds.
"Fuck everything." he said suddenly, taking to the sky and poring on the speed.
He did a fly-by of the town, pulling all of the clouds and snow behind him, sending them into the Everfree Forest.
Going home again, he watched out of the window as many ponies began enjoying spring.
Hearing a knock at the front door, he answered it.
Mayor Mare was standing there, looking more than a little pissed off.
"Whatever it is, this should cover it." Xero said simply, bringing forth his money-bag, pouring about 50 or so dark bits over Mayor Mare's head, slamming the door shut when he was done.
She left, he could see, suddenly happy with the money provided and no longer caring about whatever she was pissed off about.
Xero laughed, silly politicians, only caring about money, and nothing else.
He wiped the tear of laughter from his invisible eye, he went about his day.
He had things to do, things about stuff...
He was playing video games, OKAY?!
He was absolutely owning every single one of his opponents, he played CoD:BO2, had analyzed the stats with the eye of an RPG master, which he was, and dominated every enemy on every map in every gamemode.
It was glorious.
<>
Twilight entered the library after a hard day of working.
She had won the Running of the Leaves, Xero's closeness to all of them inspired her to get fit, and she won with ease.
She found the man of inspiration writing on a piece of parchment.
"Did you ask Spike for that?" the lavender mare interrogated.
"This should cover it." Xero replied, taking a second to throw a small object at her, she caught it in mid-air.
It was a dark bit.
"Right, ahem, so , what are you doing?" Twilight asked, she turned and put the dark bit in a safe place.
"Here, translate this." Xero said suddenly, she didn't see it, but he was on his way out the door, forcing the piece of parchment onto her, she grabbed it, intending to read it.
It was written entirely in fine, Japonese kanjis.
Twilight had no idea how to read kanjis.
"FffffffffFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU..." she screamed, levitating the entire foreign languages section to her.
She would read this message, and she would read it with VIGOR.
<>
She had been reading and cross-referencing the symbols Xero had written and the symbols that the book told her about.
This process had taken TWO DAYS.
She brought forth the final result, and read it.
"Make me into a pony, I want to see what it's like, you have magic, make use of it, plz." she felt dumber just READING the thing.
"Ugh, Xero and his shenanigans, fine, I'll turn him into a pony, and I'll make him a pony for a LOOOONG time, let's see how he'll feel." Twiligth plotted.
She wasn't good at revenge, that much was obvious.
<>
She waited until the outifts were made, she wanted to make Xero feel bad, but she didn't want to change anything with her friends.
Following the tall-ish man home, Twilight readied herself.
*knock knock knock*
"Huh? Oh, right, oh, hey Twilight, what's up?" he asked politely.
"Not much, I translated that message you gave me, and I have the spell ready, may I come in?" she asked innocently.
"Sure, I think the tea is done anyways." he accepted, walking to the kitchen area.
"Nice, how much tea do you even have? You always seem to be making more whenever anypony visits." Twilight observed.
She looked into the kitchen area when it was obvious that Xero hadn't heard her.
He had a fucking DELIVERY PALETTE of BOXES of tea.
"Wow..." she gaped.
"It's a lot of tea, but I'm British, so it makes sense, and I was raised in Japan, so it makes more sense, and I like to think of myself as part Puerto Rican." Xero finally answered the question.
"Why the last one?" Twilight asked in curiosity.
"It's because, when I steal from you, you're not getting it back in the same shape it was in, and if you steal from me, I fucking stab you." the tall-ish man explained.
"Oh, I see, well, let me just charge up the spell." Twilight got the conversation back on track.
Xero walked back into the living room, not knowing what was about to happen.
Twilight charged up a fuck-tonne of magic, she cast it upon Xero.
The energy flowing into him almost made him black out.
Landing softly on the white marble floor, the man-turned-stallion breathed in and out again.
Looking at himself in the mirror resting against a wall, he gasped.
"I look AWESOME!" he lilted, he enthusiastically looked at his whole self.
He had a light grey coat, bluish-green eyes, his teeth were fine and clean, his mane was like his normal hair, minus the ponytail, which turned into an actual pony tail, long and thin, but it had volume. His cutie mark was a almost-black-it-was-so-dark blue 'X' like a roman numeral 10. His mane and tail were dark blue, but the part he liked most was one thing.
2 things, actually, and they weren't his testicles.
He was a FUCKING PEGASUS! WOOOOOOOHHH!
His wings were, for some strange reason, cobalt blue.
"This is AWESOME! How long does it last?" Xero asked eagerly.
"A little less than 6." Twilight didn't finish her sentence.
"6 what? Minutes? Hours? Days?" Xero was a little bit worried now, he didn't want to stay as a pony for too long.
"Months, 6 months." Twilight gave a mischievious smile.
"WHAT? Why so long?" Xero was fully worried now, being a pony for some time was nice, but being a pony for 6 MONTHS? Hell no.
"Because it took me a long-as-hell time to translate that message you wrote." Twilight revealed.
"Oh, right, I just felt like writing in Japanese, I didn't think you didn't know how to READ Japanese, I thought you were like the smartest pony in Equestria or something." Xero admitted.
"Well, thank you for the compliment, but I had to learn the whole language to read your message, please keep it in Equish, okay?" Twilight requested.
"Alright, I'll keep it in Equish, it won't be that hard." Xero accepted.
"Right, well, enjoy yourself, I wasn't kidding about that 6 months thing." Twilight revealed, teleporting away.
"Well...... shit." Xero complained.
He thought about the things he could DO as a stallion, then he got to thinking, if the 'Gender Equality' issues were the opposite as they were on Earth, being that females are dominant and masculinism was fighting for stallion's rights, he could make something of that.
Then he thought about it further, all the things that females normally do, males do in Equestria.
He thought about prostitution, if the issues ran that deep, he could get some good fun from that.
He set out to find more information, he could get plenty of enjoyment out of this.
<>
Returning home sweaty yet satisfied, Xero had found out first hoof the depth of gender equality reversal.
Did he regret his decision? He rarely regretted anything, this was something he did not regret.
More-over, he found a way to turn back.
Using a simple disruption mechanism, he transformed back into a human.
Feeling odd, not just the dead weight of exhaustion, but more weight overall, the strange thing was, he felt lighter and springier, he looked at himself in the mirror, his visor off, he didn't see anything different.
He thought about WHY he was feeling off, turning back to his exploits, he thought about the mares he had sold himself to, all of them were healthy, and he was sure as the saying goes, his customers didn't have any diseases, at least, he was sure that 'Healthy as a horse' also applied to ponies.
His thought raced through his mind, the heat, the moisture, the words exchanged.
*POMF*
He jumped at the noise, he looked back intot he mirror.
He had MOTHAFUKKIN' WINGS!
The magic of the ponification spell had affected his base human biology, now he had wings, the same cobalt blue as his pony wings, he could feel the pegasus magic inside him, allowing him to fly, and walk on clouds, and manipulate said clouds, they would be like a colloid to him, somewhat solid, but somewhat liquid.
He preened his feathers, making sure his wings were healthy and functional..
He would cherish this gift.
He flexed the new appendages, the only limbs he had that were not affected by Raymanian Biology.
He flapped and turned and folded and furled, he found the maximum parameters of his new limbs.
This was going to be fun.
Laying down to sleep, he wondered what all he could do.
The possibilities were vast, expansive.
He would think about it in the morning.
<>
Flying to Rainbow Dash's house early in the morning, Xero entered the fancy cloud house.
"Rainbow Dash, this is the Chamber of Commerce, we are here to make a racist joke." Xero decided to go comedian.
The cyan mare slowly trotted down the stairs, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
"What do you want, Chamber of Commerce?" the half-conscious mare asked.
"We are here to inform you that unless you shake your flank, your house will be destroyed.
"Alright..." Dash responded, turning around and giving a wiggle of her flanks.
"HA, wow, that was surprisingly easy." Xero said suddenly, going back to his original voice.
Rainbow Dash shot into consciousness.
Turning around and lifting her head again, she looked at the blue haired man angrily.
"I can't believe you just did that." she chastised.
"I can't believe you fell for it." Xero responded.
"Ugh, what do you want? I need to be well rested for Best Young Flier's Competition, this is the last year I can compete, the oldest you can be is 19 years." Dash revealed.
"Well, that's funny, because I just got an idea." Xero said.
*POMF*
"We're not having sex before OR after the Competition." Dash denied the unasked and unthought of question.
"I was just going to say that I was going to compete." Xero corrected.
"Wait a second, you, compete? How? Wait a second..." Dash trailed off, she finally realized it.
Xero had wings, and he was going to compete, AGAINST HER, in the BYFC.
But XERO HAD WINGS!
"Where did you get THOSE?" Dash questioned.
"I'm an elf, and thus, my responsibilities as a Saiyan Warrior/Jedi Knight have led me on help quest to come across the fact that equality issues are the opposite in Equestria as they are on Earth, thusly, I had several sessions of hot sex and was paid for it, leveling up my shadow warrior enough to acquire Exodius the Ultimate." Xero did not answer the question at all.
"But that explains NOTHING!" Dash rebuked.
"Just kidding, I still had several sessions of hot sex and got paid for them, but I was turned into a pony, and the magic changed my human biology so I have wings now, since I was a pegasus pony." Xero answered
"Oh, that makes sense, enough of it anyways, so, you have wings now, that's cool." Dash tried to make small talk.
"Yeah, they're nice, I like to think." Xero replied, the pair was reduced to small talk.
"They ARE nice, and pretty big too, you must be quite the sizeable stallion if you get wings like that." Dash complimented.
"I guess so, but I think they're proportional to my body size, so because I am a large-ish man, I have larger wings than say, somepony like you, who is smaller." Xero analyzed.
"Right, I think that's the case, listen, I'm going to go back to sleep, good-whatever." Dash dismissed herself, curling up on the couch and drifting back to sleep.
Xero found the sight cute, then again, things usually were cuter when they were sleeping.
Leaving quietly, Xero flared his wings and flew off to Cloudsdale.using his new GPS, utilizing the sattelite he had found, and zoomed off to the pegasus city.
He was going to compete, he was in his 19 year old body, after all.
This was going to be fun.
Author's Note
BOOM, I did shit too fast or whatever, I don't care.
Xero has wings and the power to turn into a pony.
He is much more abusive of his capabilities than Omega, that's for sure.
See you next time for more stuff.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
It's simple, the "Muramasa" is the demon sword.
*WARNING* TITLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CONTENT OF THE CHAPTER */WARNING*
Zooming through the rocky tunnels, Xero raced towards the light from the surface, a swarm of Skulltulas from the LoZ series were chasing him, shooting 2 at a time, 6 at a time, 100 at a time, and they kept coming, the Aeroblade was being repaired, so he couldn't use his Mach 5 boost.
Things were hectic, he thought back to how the day began.
<>
Waking up to the sound of his name and being shaken enough to lose control of his voice, Xero knew something was wrong.
Rainbow Dash was panicking.
"Ra-a-ainbo-o-ow Da-a-ash, sto-o-op fu-ucki-i-ing sha-aking me-e-e." Xero managed to form a somewhat coherent sentence.
"Xero, come quick, Rarity is in major trouble with underground monsters!" Dash explained, grabbing the man and pulling him off of the cloud.
"Rainbow Dash, that sounds fucking stupid, where is this happening?" Xero's statement went from skeptical to accepting in the span of a second.
"Follow me." Dash instructed.
"No, tell me where it is." Xero re-iterated his point.
"It's in the no-body lands, the space behind the Canterlot mountain range, it's little more than flat ground and more stray mountains, come ON!" Dash informed.
"Alright, race you there." Xero challenged, boosting off at super-sonic speeds.
He did that a lot, yet he didn't flap his wings much, if he did so he would be doing Sonic Whatever-boom-he-had-Booms all the time.
Rainbow zoomed off to reach her destination, she had been getting faster too.
Taking a few seconds to stop by his town-house to leave a note and a map for Scootaloo in case of emergency, Xero still reached his destination in a small amount of time.
Using the Dime Breaker to stop immediately over the space, re-directing his spins to make himself descend, he dropped to meet the group.
"Okay, so, here's the situation, Rarity has been taken by these creatures called Diamond Dogs." Twilight debriefed.
"Everybody's best friend." Xero laughed at his joke, the funny part was that, diamonds are a woman's best friend, and dogs are a man's best friend, so together, they would be universally loved.
"Far from it, they're greedy creatures, and mostly useless too, they hoard gems for the sole purpose of nopony else having them." Twilight explained.
"Roight, so, is that one there?" Xero went posh for a second and pointed out the figure about 20 meters away.
It was, indeed, a Diamond Dog.
"Get it!" Rainbow Dash piped up, joining the group again.
Xero gave himself a boost, he overshot his target by a LOT.
The Dime Breaker was still recharging, and he needed to stop fast.
Using the Aeroblade to stab the ground, Xero found that it was dirt below him, he slowed down by a noticable amount.
That's when it happened.
The dirt immediately turned to stone, the blade of the Aeroblade broke, Xero smashed his face into the stone, dazing him greatly.
He was hurting and disoriented, smashing your face into solid stone would do that, he dismissed the Aeroblade to be repaired.
Stumbling in the wrong direction, his eyes having stopped working temporarily, he went quite a ways away before his full vision returned.
Looking around, he found himself surrounded by flat stone plains, nothing else, no landmarks or anything.
Bringing up his GPS, he found it unavailable, his satellite was under robotically performed maintenance.
He was lost, with no way of knowing how to return home.
Walking for several minutes, the tall-ish man found a hill that opened on one side into a cave.
Entering carefully, he knew all the things that could be in caves, floating blocks and blue goombas, Jebus-spiders and Skull-spiders, lots of strong pokemon, and a googolplex of Zubats.
Reaching into the depths, Xero turned on his night-vision, he also thought what else could be down here, zombies, drougrs, skeletons both moving and not, more spiders, lost species, fucking bugs the size of his head, creepers from Minecraft, infected from Left 4 Dead, and more.
He turned to leave when he heard it.
Skulltulas.
A fuck-tonne of them.
<>
Zooming through the rocky tunnels, Xero raced towards the light from the surface, a swarm of Skulltulas from the LoZ series were chasing him, shooting 2 at a time, 6 at a time, 100 at a time, and they kept coming, the Aeroblade was being repaired, so he couldn't use his Mach 5 boost.
Things were hectic, he briefly thought about how the day's events led to this within half an hour of waking up.
He was nearing the exit, but the Skulltulas were nearing him, he ran as fast as his master-ninja feet could take him, but the octo-pedal monsters kept up with him with ease.
He heard a few gunshots, the creatures thinned out somewhat, entire lines of them being taken down, Xero saw why.
Scootaloo had come to his rescue, the Cappers, with their extreme penetration capabilities, especially with the high grade of the calibur and the low grade of the targets, she took down entire rows of the ghouls with every well-placed shot.
Xero flapped his wings to speed up, he grabbed his sister when he crossed the edge of the cave's mouth, the 2 shot off into the sky.
Flying far away, home, Xero and Scootaloo wanted to put the events that had just transpired behind them.
Xero was tempted to make it rain on the no-pony's land.
Rain gold.
Liquid gold.
He was going to piss on it from the fucking sky it isn't that hard to figure out damnit.
YOU'RE NOT STUPID, FIGURE IT OUT!
<>
Xero was working on shit that needed to be done.
His weapons were all in tip-top shape, his armor was perfectly fine, undamaged, fully functional.
Everything was fine, he was making sure it stayed that way.
With engineering and mechanic skills even a german would envy, he made sure everything was going to stay functional.
Standing up and stretching when he was done, Xero took a quick stride through the sanitation chamber, which was shaped like a metal detector, he was cleaned of anything that wasn't supposed to be there.
Taking off into the sky, he thought.
Xero was prepared for anything, almost anything, almost anything under normal circumstances .
He had added that last part after his experience with the Skulltulas, if he hadn't been still slightly dazed and also had his boost working, he could have easily escaped and/or killed all of the monster abominations.
But circumstances get in the way of things.
Pouring on the speed, he flew around just for the hell of it, he had abused technology to get infinite electricity, using a super high efficiency carbuerator in his body, he would recharge with motion, I think you can see how this is infinitely useful.
He checked the time and date suddenly, he had stopped paying attention to the passing of time, the draining of the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years.
It had been a few hours since the incident with those Skulltulas, he would have to go back and slaughter them all.
He felt the emotions flow through him, never taking a tangible form, heat and cold, comfort and pain, everything and nothing, something and anything.
Xero flew back to the nopony's land and killed everything that lived there.
Everything.
Now it was just the Dead-Lands.
His perception was up 10 fold.
Sailing through the skies, he found that day had turned to night, and night was turning back to day.
Returning home, the bluish-black with white highlights haired man just walked upstairs, laid down on his bed, and fell asleep immediately.
<>
Awakening in his room, under the covers this time, Scoots must have moved him while he was asleep, she was a good pony like that.
Haphazardly tossing off the blanket, Xero went about his morning routine.
Get up, go to the bathroom, relieve self, clean self, decide whether or not to shave, leave bathroom, get dressed, go downstairs, make breakfa-.
Breakfast was already made.
Scootaloo must have made it, it had a somewhat messy quality that only came with enthusiasm.
'Trying to get those cutie marks still, heh heh, kids, they're always trying new stuff. ' the thought went through his mind.
'Heh heh heh, ha ha ha, HA HA AHAHAHAHAAAAAA! ' the laughter turned insane for a few seconds, he stopped.
"Ugh, I need something to eat." he pondered aloud, he turned to the table to find a plate set out for him.
Written in fine lines of butter on a small stack of pancakes, was a message.
'Cooking cutie mark is a no-go, cooking is NOT my special talent, bro, but here are some pancakes and stuff for you.'
Xero took a note to thank the little filly later, he ate his food messily and without manner.
After practically scraping the plate's contents into his mouth, he chugged down a somewhat cold glass of orange juice and a somewhat cold glass of milk.
Obviously the meal had been made some time ago.
Checking the clock, it was 9 o'clock in the morning.
Taking off from the back alley, Xero simply went about his day, flying the time away.
It was simple, normal (normal enough, at least), peaceful.
Something he wanted and needed.
Something away from the heat of battle, the chaos of fighting for his life, the bloodlu-...
It was something he lived for, the joy of murder, of taking lives, of snuffing out the fires of existance, of destroying bodies, shredding skin, crushing bones, making blood pour in waterfalls.
Waterfalls of blood.
Bloodfalls?
'What am I doing?'
Xeor caught himself before he pulled the trigger, he realized what he has about to do.
He was about to fire the Blue Death at a busy street intersection.
Dozens of ponies, innocent beings, dead.
He dismissed the Blue Death and flew far away from Ponyville.
It was time to explore.
<>
Travelling through the skies, Xero looked at his map.
He had seen Canterlot, Manehattan, Las Haygas, Los Pegasus, Seaddle, Neigh York, and a lot of other places.
The land of Equestria ran wide and dug deep.
He turned to fly home again when he saw it.
He hadn't been paying attention to the passing of time, it had been a week, he briefly wondered how he didn't notice, followed by wondering how worried everypony must be, he saw a train passing below, deciding to hitch a ride, he landed on top.
He hit the roof a bit harder than expected, climbing down equally as loud, he opened the door to the car.
He froze at the sight.
7 pairs of eyes looked back at him.
<>
The Mane 6 and Spike were travelling to Apploosa to give a tree to Applejack's cousin Braeburn at the Sweet Apple Acres Apploosa branch.
They were travelling there via train, because they were delivering a FUCKING TREE AND TREES ARE PRETTY DAMN HEAVY.
They were chatting idly, filling in the time with words.
"...and that's why half of the food supplies in Canterlot castle are things to make cakes with." Twilight finished her story that I'm sure a few readers would like to hear the full version of.
"Wow, who woulda known tha-" Applejack was cut off.
*BANG MOTHERFUCKER THIS SOUND IS LOUD*
"What in the name of fuck was that ." Rainbow Dash querried in her infinitely un-eloquent speech patterns.
*CLACKA CLACKA CLACKA WHY IS THIS SO LOUD?*
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK THERE IS SOMEONE AT THE DOOR ANSWER IT DAMNIT KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
*THE DOOR IS OPENING, this isn't actually loud at all*
Xero opened the door.
XERO opened the door.
He had disappeared for a week, and suddenly he was hitching a ride on this train.
The 6 ponies and 1 dragon stared at him.
He stared back.
"Well, this is one hell of a convenience." the un-disappeared man started, scratching his head in confusion.
"Where have you BEEN man?" Dash demanded.
"Where haven't I been?" Xero asked back.
"Well then, where?" Dash argued.
"I've been to a magical land called Equestria, it's ruled by ponies and there are lots of cities, I spent a week going over each one, having forgotten to pack money for hotels, I resorted to my prostitution career, earning money to get a safe place to sleep, today I decided to return to my hometown Ponyville, when I noticed a train, deciding to hitch a ride on it, I landed on the roof, climbed down the ladder, and opened the door, it was at this point that I saw 6 mares I recognized, and a small dragon I also recognized, then the rowdiest one of the bunch demanded information from me, I then proceeded to go on a long and drawn out explanation of everything that has been going on up to this point, leading up to 'How I met your Mother' ." Xero gave a cheeky grin at the ending of his overly long rant.
The Mane 6 stared at him throughout his rant, they were confused by the end.
"I went on a trip around Equestria, had sex a few dozen times, and while going home I decided to hitch a ride on this train, which, coincidentally, you all are on." Xero sumarized his rant in less than 40 words.
"Oooooooohh." the confused group said simultaneously.
"Yeah, so, what's the situation?" Xero wanted to know why the group of 7 were here.
"Apple tree transportation to Apploosa." Twilight answered.
"Cool, not really, I'll just go to the next cart then." Xero replied, walking past the group and to the next group, his steps were silent, like they almost always were.
Walking into the next cart, this one was empty, Xero laid down on one of the beds and went through his interface.
Selecting the radio, he went through his songs and their various titles.
He found the one he was looking for.
Insanity. (you don't have to play the song, but if you want to, you can)
He, ironically, played it to relax.
Some time later, the door opened.
"XERO, THE TRAIN IS BEING ATTACKED!" Pinkie shouted at him.
He jumped up and got the Muramasa out, pushing past Pinkie, he got on top of the train to see 2 goups of buffalos ramming both sides of the train.
"Goddamn Native Equestrians." he complained, jumping into the fray and quickly dispatching of all of them.
The train threatened to tip over still, he pushed it back on track and went to the other side, using the Sephiroth to take out the group with ease.
Jumping back onto the train, he found a lone deer, a female, from the look of it, running to get to the caboose, where the tree was stored.
He summoned the Catalytic Lens and blasted one of her legs off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she squealed in pain.
"Don't attack my friends, bitch." he threatened, before bringing the weapon up again.
He shot her right through the head.
Kicking the body off of the locomotive, he returned to the mares' cart.
"Threat has been fucked up." he informed crudely, shutting the door and going to his own cart.
Laying down again, he realized the song was still playing.
Content with laying there doing nothing, Xero let his mind wander.
He thought of all the stuff he had done thus far, he had a good life, he wasn't forced to kill anyone, he had a wonderful little sister, 6 great friends, a home, a base, new weapons, magic-proof updated armor.
He had a good life.
He would fight to keep it that way.
<>
Standing his ground, keeping perfectly straight up when the train slowed to a stop, Xero had stability like a fucking mountain.
Flying outside via the sun-roof, the tall-ish winged man looked around the town.
Stereotypical desert-locked old west town, complete with clock tower, water tower, saloon, and everypony dressed like old-westerners.
Flying above the ponies, sticking out like a lightsaber amongst flint-tipped spears, he glided into the saloon.
He looked at the ponies sitting at the tables and booths, stereotypical old-west bar-goers.
Sitting in a bar stool, shoving a collapsed pony out of it, he looked at the rows of bottles and containers.
"Gimme your strongest booze, don't skimp out on it." Xero ordered.
The salty-muzzled bartender, a mare with a liquor bottle for a cutie mark, brought a cactus out, chopping it open with a knife, Xero cringed, that was no way to treat a blade.
She poured the cactus juice into a glass, mixing it with whiskey, adding a bit a lemon and lime juices and a few ounces of vodka, she mixed it up again, shaking it in the mixer capsule for several seconds, pouring the contents into a tall glass, she stirred in several ounces of absinthe.
Setting the mixture on fire, she slid it to Xero.
He caught it, looking at it for several seconds.
"Go ahead, unless your a lightweight?" she challenged.
"What did you just say? " Xero got irritated.
"Go ahead and drink the stuff, unless your just a little bitch who talks a big game." she re-challenged.
Xero flipped her off while chugging the thing.
This was not what shocked the mare, what shocked her was...
THE FUCKING THING WAS STILL ON FIRE!
Setting the glass down and giving only a small grunt, he brought out the Muramasa and sliced the tall glass in half down the middle.
Flipping off the bartender again, he walked out, not so much as a stumble to his stride.
He felt great, taking to the skies again, he flew away from the city.
That's when he saw it.
<>
The buffalos, enraged by the mass-murdering of their peoples, staged an attack on the town.
Xero divebombed in front of the small army.
"Hey, HEY!" he shouted to the herd.
They looked at him
"FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF OR I'LL KILL YOU TOO!" he threatened.
The buffalos attacked.
It was a slaughterhouse, Xero even cut them up and graded them, setting fire to the rejected meat, keeping the good stuff for food, he could use some good meat.
Flying home, his business being done here, he checked on everything at the base, if anything had stopped working, his whole operation could go up in nuclear flames.
He needed to check on his sister too, he would be a bad brother if he didn't.
Pouring on the speed, flapping his wings to go as fast as possible, he broke the sound barrier, sped up even faster.
He looked back at his boom, it was four beams of dark blue energy shooting out in an X formation, it was pretty cool.
He sped up to Mach 5 as he didn't have anything better to do at the moment.
Going a mile a second, he didn't give much thought to anything except getting home.
<>
It had been a week or 2, maybe 3.
Not much had happened, Xero vowed to acquire a phoenix after seeing Celestia with one.
Phoenixes are cool.
Traveling to the depth of the Everfree Forest, he found a phoenix nest.
Stealing the egg and flipping off the parents shortly before killing them, he raised that thing right.
Xero was in possession of a special breed of phoenix, the titan phoenix.
The damn thing grew up in a few weeks, it had a 2 meter wingspan, he could even ride the fucking thing.
He also got a tiger, just because fuck you.
A titan tiger was much bigger than a normal tiger.
A normal bengal tiger was about 10 feet long, the titan version was 15 feet long, with lean and powerful muscle, large and penetrating teeth, and the ability to kill anything that didn't kill it first, with immunities to many types of poisons, both natural and synthetic, this thing was a monster.
More dangerously, it was Xero's monster.
Armoring it like a battle steed, he had another outlet for his time, leading his killing machine around the forest, destroying dangerous animals in seconds, even manticores and cockatrices.
Xero was having a good time.
He had his tiger, his phoenix, his motorcycle, his friends, weapons, armor, and something he didn't think he could ever have.
He had happiness.
Leading his feline steed up the mountain to his base, he had dug out a smaller cave to hold it, guiding the beast into the smaller cave, Xero entered the normal one.
Sitting at his interface, he drew a blank.
He turned to the side, looking around to try to remember what he was about to do.
He saw the CMC, sitting on his couch looking at him with huge smiles.
"How did you 3 get in here?" he querried.
The trio of rambunctious little fillies simultaneously took in deep breaths.
Xero prepared for the verbal storm.
Author's Note
strange place to cut it off, but I don't care.
Xero keeps reminding himself of how good of a life he has, it could get annoying, but he does it anyways.
Next chapter will contain stuff.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
It was a terrible day for Xero, at this point he was known by a different name, but he had long forgotten it.
Coming home from school, being a freshman in highschool was hell, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen before his mother came at him in drunken rage.
The bitch in question fell down the stairs, getting up with little damage, she looked at her son, her green eyes stared at him, glazed over in alcohol.
She charged at him, yelling obscenities, obviously confusing her son for her husband, Xero looked almost exactly like his father, except his hair was longer.
He stabbed her, he didn't care anymore, he stabbed his mother to death, the unreasonably sharp knife piercing her flesh again and again, if his sanity had degraded a few millimeters less, he would have raped her corpse, satisfying primal needs in her bloody body.
His father came home, hyped up on crack, he tackled him, cutting his throat, stabbing him.
He was 16, and he killed his parents.
<>
He had been found by a secret order, they were ninjas, but more modern.
Mastering the usage of blades, Xero was a deadly being, he held little regret for who he killed, but that was because he only killed the wicked, the evil, innocent people did not deserve to die.
Unless they stopped being innocent.
Ambushing a group of corrupt SAS members, he and his team killed them all, taking their guns and ammunition, as well as all of their supplies, firing off the bullets so the other soldiers couldn't use them, breaking the guns when they were finished, they made a dash for an escape.
He had successfully completed more than 30 ninja missions, he was fully trained, a master of the martial arts, all of them.
That's when it happened.
He died how he lived, running and fighting, all it took was a bullet to the head, one that slipped through his swinging sword of a shield.
The soldiers who attacked were packing high tech weaponry.
He awoke, ripped from death by wires and circuitry, all of his childhood, and most of his teenage years, right up to the day he snapped and lashed back at the ones who lashed him like a puppy in a corner.
He was known as Xero, the blitzkrieg swordsman, under the command of Omega, the juggernaut gunner, fighting alongside his commander and comrades, Askad the nerdy demolitionist, and Kary the ridiculously human-like android with an imagination-based-superpower of electrical energy.
They were Bolverk Squad, in like slightly odd looking yet normal people, and out like the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Many missions went by, dozens, each done perfectly, none of them died, only got hurt, the last 2 missions they went on were different.
'ALRIGHT PEOPLE, MOVE ALONG, IT'S JUST A FEW DEAD POLITICIANS, heh heh, NOTHING SERIOUS!" Omega shouted to the crowd, using his megaphone function, some were in cars, most on the street, the Squad had just blown out a building and had killed several politicians who were supporting Bio. Int., MBORF's rival.
Xero was helping the normal soldiers prod the innocent bystanders along, using the point of his Slicer to provide more force.
"LOOK OUT!" Askad shouted, Xero turned to see it.
2 civilians had left their car, they had apparently kept several knives and a gun in their vehicle.
1, 2, 4, 7, dead.
The 2 opposing people were killed, though with well placed throws and shots, they had killed 7 MBORF soldiers, Xero was trying to block the bullets, but to no avail, Askad and Omega killed the pair with a shot from the Joy Filly and a Sticky Death grenade.
Xero had tried his best, but 7, SEVEN of his fellow soldiers were dead.
The next mission was much harder.
Their objective?
Terminate XV
Rushing through the battlefield, his major upgrades to his armor gave him the speed to parry bullets, he and Omega tore through Bio. Int.'s army, crushing and shooting and blasting and cutting though hundreds of soldiers, even spies.
Omega had taken the offensive on XV itself, Xero took care of Kary after she exhausted herself in killing the XV infected beings, and Askad had died.
Leaving the young-ish girl to charge up, he recieved an upgrade to his armor, a 2.0 update.
Able to block the force of about 6000rpm, he was even faster and much stronger than before.
Omega had killed XV, Kary and charged up and took out the strays, Xero destroyed 3 FUCKING HELICOPTERS, it was amazing.
Carrying Omega, as the heavy-weight man was the only one in the group who couldn't fly, the commanding officer reported in their success.
Kary attacked them suddenly, Xero couldn't keep himself and his 1258 kilogram weighing comrade away from the assault.
He was knocked out of the sky and caught by the young girl who he called a team-mate.
Waking up strapped to a wall, Xero found himself staring at a copy of his face.
"Like it? It's you, after all, a better you, anyways, fucking human soldiers, trying to keep people alive, they always fail, somehow, somewhere, there is failure." Kary lamented, throwing the copy of Xero's visage onto a table.
"They're going to execute you like the sorry dumbasses you are." Kary informed, she looked different, another spurt of aging, she was a full grown woman, rather than a young teenager, almost 10 years of difference, from 13 to 22.
"Why am I strapped up like a spinning target, Kary?" Xero demanded, he was thoroughly pissed off at this point.
"Because you're scheduled for execution, after taking measurements of your body, they'll lock you up, it'll be a week before you die at that point." Kary teased.
"Well then why the fuck are you here? You're not a doctor or a scientist." Xero argued.
Kary got intimately close to Xero's face, running a gloved hand over his skin and through his rough stubble, she was close enough to bite him.
"Because, Omega didn't want to talk, all he said was 'I'm sure Xero can convey both of our feelings about this', so I came to see you." she explained, moving about his face, admiring his musculature.
"Right, well then, here are my and Omega's feelings about this, you're all fucking traitors, you'll all be killed at our hands, we'll make you suffer 10-fold what we have to endure during our wait." Xero ranted.
"I.... see....." Kary blushed suddenly, she was still intimately close, mere millimeters from his face, but he could still see the slight pinkening of her skin.
*smoooooooch*
Kary had just kissed him.
"What the fuck was that for?" Xero demanded, wishing to set his mouth on fire.
"The scientist said *huff* that I'll experience fluctuations in *huff* behaviour as I adjust *huff*, because my growth spurt had added *huff* a lot of chemicals that I didn't have before *huff* I've basically skipped through puberty, *huff* and, in making me the most humanoid android ever, *huff* Askad made me experience growth like a normal human *huff*, I don't know how to deal with these feelings *huff* as I didn't have time to learn how *huff*, and I feel new feelings and think new thoughts, *huff* and I'm thinking something very enjoyable *huff* and since you're strapped up and the scientists gave me an hour, *huff* and only 5 minutes of said hour are gone *huff*, I think I'll do what I want with you." Kary was getting really flustered and red-faced, breathing heavily, blowing hot puffs of breath at Xero's face.
"Why don't you go shove your snatch in Omega's face." Xero spat the vulgar slang words at her, he did NOT like where this was going.
"I think it would be awkward if *huff* I had my way with him while the *huff* doctors were trying to work." Kary replied, her breath was coming out very hot and steamy.
"Weeeeeeelllllll, fuuuuuuuck...." Xero complained.
"That's the spirit." Kary teased, kissing him again.
*zzziiiiiiiip*
*rustle rustle*
"Shiiiiiiit, make it quick then, I want my torture to be over as soon as possible so I can die faster." Xero complied, he had given up.
*zzziiiiiiiip*
*rustle rustle*
*drip*
Then sex happened.
<>
Xero drank heavily of the bottle of bleach he had stolen from the cleaner cart, pouring it in his eyes and all over his body as well, nobody opposed. If he tried something, they could easily kill him, and if he died, it would be all that much easier.
Gulping down mouthfuls of the foul tasting strong-alkaline liquid, he felt himself not getting any closer to death.
His cybernetic parts cleaned his body of the poisonous-if-consumed liquid, he was left with a particularly tainted piss afterwards.
Sitting in his cell, warming soap and shaping it into a knife blade, he briefly considered trying to use it to kill the guard and get the keys, but that was a stupid idea.
Thinking back over it again, he considered the idea, applying a more scientific view on it.
The waxy material would dry and harden into a solid that was hard enough to support a blade sharp enough to cut un-reinforced flesh.
The flesh of a normal soldier.
After finding that the food was poisoned and that was how they were expected to die, succumbing to primal needs, he rationed his food like Omega said, eating only of the first and second days of poisonous food, the later days were meant to kill.
Playing dead, a single guard was sent to carry him to the incinerator, as he was not very heavy and a single guard could carry or at least drag him to the location.
Moving very subtley, grabbing his soap knife, he cut the guard's throat, taking the guards metal combat knife and pistol, he silently made his way to find Omega.
Finding his C.O., Xero tackled the first guard and threw his knife into the second one's head, beating guard 1 to death, Omega stood and grabbed the pistol Xero purposely dropped in front of him.
"Alright, time to get out of here." Omega instructed.
"Yeah, hold on." Xero said, choking the guard he was sitting on and punching him, the guard suffocated before internal bleeding killed him.
"Alright, what's the first step?" Xero asked, the pair moved to the elevator, luckily no alarms had been sounded.
"First we find our Vertebral Armors, then, if they're not able to be equipped normally, we steal the information capsules and escape, fight and don't die until the data is completely downloaded, then inject ourselves with our armor data, get suited up, and escape the city below." Omega debriefed.
"And what makes you think that they haven't destroyed our armors?" Xero argued.
"Those 2 technological amalgamations are worth more than the entire fucking staff's total annual salary, they're not going to just destroy it, the very thought is like Bill Gates burning his ocean of money." Omega countered.
"Right, so, the plan is good enough, coming from you, how are we going to get to our armors without dying first?" Xero argued again.
The door to the elevator opened.
Every mook looked to the door to see who was there, they saw the pair and looked back to their own activities, then they realized who they just saw and got ready to fight.
"Use style code: Desert Hawk." Omega commanded.
"And what the fuck does that mean?" Xero querried.
"DAMNIT XERO! VULTURE TACTICS!" Omega shouted at his subordinate's stupidity.
"Oh, right, that one." Xero replied, charging forward.
With the pair's masterful fighting skills, they recovered their armors and escaped the shuttle.
Getting down to the city and fighting their way into safe-ish areas, they equipped their armors.
Fighting for almost an hour, genociding the entire MBORF force, they reached the train station.
"You lost." Omega taunted his speedy companion, smoking a cigarette.
"Yeah yeah, stick it where it fits." Xero countered his heavily armored brother-in-arms, flipping him off.
"What a sore loser." Omega sighed.
"Yeah yeah, well, if I didn't have to fight a fucking artillery cannon, I would have kicked your arse." Xero argued.
"Right, well, let's just take a breather for right now." Omega suggested, taking in a deep breath to emphasize his point.
"Oi, well, we just owned those assholes, if you wanna make this 1v1, just say so." Xero challenged, resorting to gamer-speak.
"No thanks, we need to get out of here." Omega declined.
The train Omega had hoped for was rolling to a stop in front of them.
"And that is our ride." Omega informed, about to flick away his cigarette.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM MOTHERFUCKING LOUDNESS*
The train Omega had hoped for was crushed to shit.
"Was." Xero cheekily corrected.
2 visors shined in the darkness.
"I hope I offend you when I say your plan looks like a pile of shit." Xero insulted, leaning forward.
The offenders revealed themselves, they were robot copies of Omega and Xero, suited up in their old armors, as the humans had stolen the new ones.
"Holy SHIT, OUR OWN ACTION FIGURES, we're fucking FAMOUS man!" Xero liltily joked, nudging Omega forcefully.
"So that was the catch, they needed recent battle data for those automatons." Omega analyzed.
"I see, isn't this thrilling?" Xero querried, prepping the Boomknives.
"As a matter of fact, it is." Omega answered, sounded mildly amused, summoning one of his Ballisticas and the Joy Colt.
"Come on, let's fight, catchphrase time." Xero insisted.
"Heaven or Hell!" Omega shouted.
"Let's rock!" Xero followed up.
Then they fought their robotic clones.
It was tough, they sustained a lot of damage, but they did it.
They may have taken out half a city in the process, but the robots were destroyed.
Kary entered the equation.
A long and very drawn out fight, involving deceit, realization, power-ups, destruction, and much more, it finally happened.
Kary was dead.
All that was left was Xero and Omega.
Problem, Omega was taken over by the XV infection, directly by the XV itself, I might add.
Omega used the unbroken half of the Light Arrow to try to hit Xero and kill him, Xero merely backed up from each swing.
Xero tried to deny it, tried to deny that the man who he had grown close to, the one he trusted with his life, that Omega, the man who was Xero's only ally and hope for safety, as Xero was for him, was taken over by a deadly creature driven by violent instinct rather than conscious thought.
"Come on, just give me my sword back, we'll find your gun, and we can get the hell out of dodge." Xero insisted, his voice was starting to falter.
"Just how long do you plan on fucking around, Omega?" he continued, he was breaking on the inside, dodging the amatuer swings of the sword.
"After killing ALL these assholes, taking out all of MBORF's army, and freedom is finally at hand, you're just going to let yourself get taken over by that... by that THING?" Xero's voice was desperate, clinging helplessly to the hope that Omega was actually alright.
"Come on man, cut it out, you're not like this, you kill companions as much as I smoke, and I don't smoke at all." Xero sounded defeated, dodging further and further.
"This isn't you, this isn't you at all, please, just stop this nonsense, we can escape, we can get out of here. We'll never have to deal with MBORF, Bio. Int., or any of this ever again. We can live a normal life, please." Xero pleaded, he was exhausted, and on the verge of tears.
The infected Omega continues swinging.
Xero was mad now.
"Come on MAN! Fucking PULL IT TOGETHER!" Xero commanded, he reached behind himself, feeling the Joy Colt, he brought it up and put it against the infected Omega's head.
Omega stopped swinging, he took a step back.
Banging his head on the ground a few times, punching the scorched dirt, and stabbing the half of the Light Arrow into the ground, he got up, breathing deeply.
"Ugh, *huff puff* *sigh* Thanks for that, *huff puff* now, come on, finish me off." Omega demanded his own death.
"What? Why?" Xero questioned, he was confused.
"I managed to suppress XV for the time being, you need to kill me before it regains control and makes me kill you." Omega explained.
"Come on, walk it off, pussy." Xero crudely suggested.
"Not possible, this thing is taking over my body and mind, I'm struggling to resist killing you right now, you need to kill me before it takes over again." Omega pleaded.
"It wasn't supposed to end like this, man." Xero argued.
"Circumstances got in the way, come on, you were the one who was going to cut my head from my neck, right?" Omega repeated the same words that Xero had said to him before the battle.
Xero was tired and angry, grabbing the sword was all he could muster at the moment.
"If anything, you were a great person to know, a better soldier, and an even better friend." Omega said his final words.
"Tch, fuck you." Xero couldn't say much.
He brought the sword up, ready to swing.
"I'll see you in hell, chap." Xero said his final words to his comrade.
"Heh heh, we'll all be waiting for you." Omega replied.
Xero swung the sword wide, the deed was done, Omega was dead.
Taking a few steps to some softer dirt, Xero collapsed to the ground from exhaustion.
<>
Waking up with a dry mouth and an aching head, Xero sat up and drank from his canteen, he only now realized he still had it.
Replenished slightly, he got up and began digging, giving the remains of Askad's robot, Kary, and Omega a proper burial, if coffin-less.
Standing at looking to the horizon, with half of the Light Arrow in one hand and the Joy Colt in the other, Xero left the city.
Bolverk was no more, he disregarded his codename Xero, opting to use it as his actual name, as his real one had been deleted from his mind.
He travelled far, disguised himself, got a good life, counterfeiting money and getting his health back up.
In his mid-sixties, he found her.
He found Enid, a young child abandoned by her family, forced to live on her own.
He saw potential in the black haired girl.
He took her in, raised her properly, taught her everything he knew, and most of what Omega knew, from what Xero could salvage from his juggernaut C.O.'s databanks.
The time had come, at 90 yeards old, Xero had to fight MBORF again, the Vorpal Soldiers even had Warp-Able guns at this point, painted white.
He and Enid fought them away, away from their home, their home in the ruins of New York City.
That's when it happened.
A Black-Hole-Bomb, Enid had ran away, Xero had slaughtered another quarter of the army before it hit.
All he heard was a whooshing noise, his vision faded to black, his body de-aged. leaving him 19 again, his hair having white highlights to its normally bluish-black color.
The darkness faded to blue, and he fell.
Fell out of the sky, into a lake.
<>
"So then, I hit the water, got out, looked at myself, killed and ate a manticore, took a big drink of water, and found my way to Ponyville." Xero continued.
The CMC stared at him, their wide, bright eyes glimmering in the light, but shining with confusion.
"And that, my dear fillies, is how I ended up in Equestria." Xero finished his long-as-hell explanation.
"We wanted to know how you got your cutie mark, bro." Scootaloo re-asked the CMC's question.
"Oh that, that was easy, I wrote a message to Twilight asking to be turned into a pony, I wrote it in Japonese to piss her off. She still ponified me, and I learned how to turn myself into a pony at will, my cutie mark was there when I changed, it's the symbol on my power core, 'X' for Xero, but adding a knife to each side, like Omega had a horseshoe for Omega, and I guess he would have a bullet to each side, that one would be a bit weird, though." Xero gave the 10-times-shorter explanation of a cutie mark story.
"But, wait, that doesn't help at all." Applebloom complained.
"Well I never promised, as a matter of fact, I didn't even SAY that it was a useful story." Xero reassessed the situation.
"Come on bro, you GOTTA have some wisdom for us, even some intelligence would do." Scootaloo pleaded.
"Alright, here's my wisdom, work at your talents more, before discarding them, you could be throwing away your special talent, without realizing how good you are, 1 test is not proof, 10 tests is enough." Xero philosophized, using the basics of the scientific process to help him.
"So, we should work at our talents more, to see if they really are our talents?" Sweetie repeated Xero's statement in the form of a question.
"Yes, yes you should." Xero assured.
"Alright, let's go, Crusaders!" Scootaloo took charge and led the group down the mountain path, carrying her friends down, Applebloom in one hoof, Sweetie Belle in the other.
Xero watched the departing trio to make sure they left safely.
Returning to his base, he still drew blanks on what he was about to do.
Throwing his hands into the air in exasperation, he groaned in aggravation and left.
It was almost nighttime, he went back to his town-house, watching the night sky for some time, thinking back to his life-story.
He realized something.
He was really fucking weird.
He didn't care, he lived in Equestria, which was more than 1000 times weirder than him.
He drifted off to sleep, briefly chastising himself for going into such detail with his tale, he didn't care for long, the past had passed and he couldn't change it.
He slept silently, nothing penetrating his unconsciousness.
His mind was exhausted.
<>
Carrying a depressed Pinkie to Sweet Apple Acres, Xero had to stun her, as she would be kicking and resisting him.
He couldn't have that.
Setting her on the ground, un-stunning her by hitting her pressure points again, he pushed her into the barn.
"Happy Birthday, sadass." Xero said to her, giving her a Blood Blaster sonic-power jab to send her into the barn against her will.
He briefly wondered what would happen next.
Not immediately next, he knew she would complain, and then feel like a complete goddamn idiot for forgetting her own birthday.
Xero wondered what the next big event would be.
Checking his calender, he realized what came next.
The Grand Galloping Gala was a few days away.
He returned to his base, the thought of wearing a fancy suit to the Gala made him remember what he was going to do.
He was going to make new armor.
He sat down at his interface and got to work.
Author's Note
I'm not sure the real term for it, if there is one, but Vulture Tactics is the staple of fighting in the Madness Combat series, kill your enemies until you use a weapon up, then steal the enemy's weapons, and kill more enemies.
HERE'S A CONTEST, DESIGN A LOOK FOR XERO'S NEW 4.0 ARMOR, I'LL PICK THE ONE THAT I THINK IS BEST.
Include the following: headwear (must not cover his glorious hair), body (must cover his whole torso), gloves (must do something special), boots (must also do something special).
THAT IS ALL
I HEART YOU ALL, BYEEEEEE */caps-lock*
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
It's time for your "Execution", Xero
Since nobrony posted any armor ideas, I'll just go with my own.
On with the story.
Xero looked to his companions.
They were ready for the Grand Galloping Gala.
He had shaved extra cleanly for this, put on his suit, a almost-black-it-was-so-dark blue tuxedo, with knife shaped buttons, and a combat knife for a boutenn'iere, the male version of a corsage. (not sure how to spell those and don't want to look them up)
The Mane 6 and Spike were travelling via carriage.
He looked to Scootaloo, his dear little sister, she was growing like a weed on steroids.
She had a really nice dress (whose illustrator I credit fully, Veggie55 made this and I did not, check him out on deviantart for more.)
Xero was ready, Scoots was ready.
The Mane 6 were probably already at the Gala by now, it had been about 10 minutes.
"So, how are we getting there?" Scootaloo querried as Xero fed his tiger and phoenix.
"Simple, I'm a ninja who owns a ninja." Xero laughed, summoning his awesome motorcycle.
(Which is supposed to have front-facing machine guns and back-facing rocket mortars)
"It's a beauty, isn't it? Come on sis, let's rock and ride." Xero directed, guiding the motorcycle outside.
Sitting upon it, Scootaloo holding onto him from behind, he activated the Rider's jet flying function.
Flying to the Gala faster than the speed of sound, the pair hollered.
"WOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" they shouted to the heavens.
It was thrilling.
<>
Scootaloo departed from the bike when they were above the Gala itself, opting to fly down rather than wait, Xero said he had a 'nice surprise' for the Gala goers.
Scoots knew his well enough to know that a 'nice surprise' wasn't nice at all, it probably involved surprise heart-attacks and bleeding bodies.
Landing on the ground and entering the front hall, Scootaloo saw that Twilight was standing next to Celestia, she was trying to talk but Celestia kept greeting those stupid guests.
Scootaloo looked at all the pretty and fancy decorations, she looked pretty and fancy too, she walked up the greeting stairs.
"Oh, hello, I don't think I've seen you here before?" Celestia was always happy to have new guests at the Gala, somepony to stir things up.
"Yeah, first time, I'm here with my brother Xero." Scootaloo revealed.
"Oh, okay, that's great, siblings, is he new to the Gala too?" Celestia was easily enthused at first-time Gala goers.
"Yeah, he is, I need to go, I think he's arriving, I don't want to be here for the Fecal Trifecta." Scootaloo dismissed herself with the cryptic message, leaving through one of the side staircases
"What is a 'Fecal Trifecta', Twilight, do you know?" Celestia asked her student.
"I have no idea princess, it must be one of those new slang words, stupid butchering of the Equish language." Twilight lamented.
Then it happened, the Fecal Trifecta.
The Fecal Trifecta is when;
Shit gets real, then, the shit goes down, and lastly, the shit hits the fan.
It started with a song.
Then the real chaos happened.
Xero rode the Rider INTO THE GALA FRONT HALL!
Jumping off of the speedy cycle, letting it go forward and giving it some altitude, he dismissed it a millisecond before it broke through the greeting stairs.
He crashed his own body into the stairs, breaking a small Xero sized hole through it, he pulled himself out from the perforation.
"WHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he yelled, getting up the stairs.
"What's up!? *faces Celestia* suck a DICK, *faces the crowd* go fuck yourselves. *faces Celestia* So, princess, I don't like you, why? I don't like daytime, yeah it's useful for seeing and stuff, but the NIGHT is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! LOOK AT THAT SHIT!" Xero commanded, grabbing Celestia under the chin and forcing her to face the window, which gave a perfect view of the night sky.
"Right, oi, I hate you, go suck a bag of dicks, I'M JUST KIDDING, DON'T DO THAT, IT'S A REALLY BAD JOKE, I'm outta here." Xero dismissed himself, taking flight and swooping down the elaborate halls.
"What the hell just happened." Celestia was shocked at the man's utter insanity.
"I, I do not have a single clue." Twilight responded, she didn't even know what to feel about this.
Xero departed to find the pony he would eloquently describe as 'She who brings the night'.
He spread his royal blue wings and took to the sky.
<>
Gliding calmly through the peaceful air of the night sky, Xero found it.
The gray tower with silver accents, as opposed to the blue-tinted white tower with gold accents.
This was where Luna was.
Landing silently on the platform, less than a meter away from the moon goddess, he stood next to her, reaching out a friendly hand and running it through her ever-blowing mane.
"Hello, Xero, he who holds respect only for the night." Luna greeted, her speech patterns had adapted within weeks of seeing into Xero's dreams.
"Greetings, your highness, the majestic, Princess Luna, tis a fine night you have made, as it always is." Xero greeted, not suppressing the tone of his accent, but not sounding posh.
"It is always a wonderful experience, finding new subjects, exploring their dreams, I connect with them in ways nopony else can." Luna revealed.
"That's nice, mind explaining what that big glowy thing is?" Xero pointed out.
"That's the moon." Luna replied, resisting the urge to facehoof.
"I know the one in the sky, but what is that shit way the fuck over there looking pretty damn threatening." Xero lost couth to bring his point across.
"Oh, right, I was about to get to that." Luna informed, she turned to him.
"When I was overtaken by jealousy at Celestia's undeserved love, trying to help her get over the departure of our parents, she cast me aside, I didn't know how to feel, didn't know how to cope with my emotions, I embraced the darkness, let it take me in, give me strength, give me power, Celestia, being in a rage and trying to keep things in their broken state, banished me to the moon, I could have gotten out at any time if the Elements of Harmony hadn't sealed me inside the moon's weak atmosphere." the dark alicorn went at length with her explanation.
"But even when the Elements of Harmony cast the corruption out of my being, they didn't destroy the Nightmare spirit, the darkness that haunts anything and everything, not even the might of the Alpha and Omega power form can destroy it, nothing in Equestria can." the lunar princess continued.
"Alpha and Omega? Isn't that, like, the First and Last?" Xero was confused at Luna's choice of words.
"First and Last is Alpha and Omega existance, Alpha and Omega power is Highest and Greatest, not even the Highest and Greatest of Equestria power can kill the Nightmare Spirit." she reassessed.
"But why are you giving me this information?" Xero had no idea where Luna was going with this.
"That is where you come in, you see, not only has your presence empowered the NIghtmare Spirit, feeding off of your dark bio-energy, a result of your own species's genetices leading to violence and corruption, but you are not from Equestria, no force from Equestria can destroy it, but YOU can." Luna revealed.
"So what, you want to kick that Nightmare Spirit's ass until it dies?" Xero simplified.
"Well, you have a choice, be sent back to your home world, your absence weakening the NS, or taking the risk of death and fighting it, your victory destroying the NS, it's your choice." Luna proposed, her tone was grave and somber.
"Princess, I hold enough respect for you to call you by 'highness' and 'majesty', I have a little sister who I am not done helping, friends that are more genuine than anyone I knew on Earth, besides Omega, I will stand and fight to protect the ponies, and if that means I have to perform deicide, so be it, I fight for honour, purge the wicked, the dark, and the evil, and the NS is about the purest form of all 3, I accept the fight, I will see you after I win." Xero accepted, his voice raising in power as he spoke.
"Good luck." Luna offered as Xero flared his wings to fly to the battleground.
"I don't need it." Xero dismissed.
He flew off to face the NS, ready to fight to the last drop of blood.
<>
Landing dramatically, Xero stared the NS down.
"So, spirit of darkness and evil and shit." Xero greeted insultingly.
"Uh huh, and you're Xero, the one who had given me more than twice the amount of power as before." NS greeted, a mix of gratitude and apathy dripping from her words.
"AlrIght bitch, I'm going to make you an offer, how about I beat the fuck out of you so hard you'll regret ever existing, deal?" he offered jokingly.
"Hmmm, I'm going to have to decline." NS replied, she was not amused.
Xero summoned the Masamune and 1 of the Boomknives.
"Sorry, but, I was being polite, you have no say in the matter." Xero got into a fighting position.
"Well, you're going to fight me? Good luck." NS taunted.
"....... oh right, *long sigh* LET'S ROCK!" Xero was saddened, he was used to Omega saying his own battlecry before Xero followed it up with his own, without the older man, it seemed empty, impotent and meek, even when shouting.
Charging at NS, Xero tried to slice at her, she took to the sky.
She changed to her Nightmare Moon form in the moonlight, it looked epic.
Xero armed himself with the Muramasa and the Masamune, holding the swords while gripping the Boomknives backwards.
Coming at her like a bullet on steroids, Xero slashed and sliced and dodged and parried.
The fight was going like a typical Dragon Ball fight, thousands of attacks were being thrown, but none connected.
The stalemate reached a conclusion when NS suddenly tackled him, sending the pair to the ground.
Stepping on the downed Blitzkrieg Master, NS prepared her final strike.
"Any last words, you impotent foal?" she taunted.
Xero looked up at her.
She was a shapeshifter, and, like the XV, a mimicker.
"Yeah, I'll kill you as cleanly as possible, I want a piece of DAT ASS." Xerp taunted.
NS crushed his ribs, the splinters of bone came forward because they were Good Guy Gregs like that, not piercing his intermal organs or anything.
Xero grabbed NS's foot, tossing her off of him and sending her into an unbalanced state, he stood up, doing some quick field medical work, ripping the splinters off of the main bones, allowing the skin to scar over and stop bleeding.
He was exhausted, NS had an aura of darkness and death looming around her, draining his life-force away.
Breathing a bit heavily, he shot her with the Boomknives, doing no physical damage, but greatly discombobulating her own life force.
Using the Blue Death and the Grudge, he shot her up, again doing no physical damage, but this was like an HP battle, and hers was dropping fast.
Not giving her time to recover, he replaced the Grudge with the Joy Colt, shooting her 12 times with the .500SW magnum rounds, which were still greatly beefed up with full steel projectiles, incineration chemicals, poisonous light-trail tracing chemicals, and being charged with high power explosives.
NS was infuriated, given a few seconds to do something, she blasted Xero with her most powerful life-drainer blast.
Xero tried to block it, using the Aeroblade to use the 2.5 seconds he had to do the most damage possible, the blast still hit him.
He was hit, drained almost to death, he didn't give up, he wouldn't give up until he died, he would fight within an inch of dying, and would continue.
Using the Sephiroth for a series of massive slashes, he still moved, he was exhausted, getting really close to dying would do that to you.
Resorting to the Blood Blasters, using the diamond-cuttingly sharp lines of energy and blood, and the sonic-enhanced punching, he continued doing massive damage.
Getting hit again and again, both of them, they were getting tired, it was getting way too out of hand.
Bringing the pair to another dimension, the Nightmare Realm, made entirely of a flat plain of perfect mirror-like material, the sky was of the night, the moon was full.
NS recovered some strength, Xero still had a full battery, his mega-efficiency carbuerator allowed that, but his bio-energy was exhausted, running out fast, taking an adrenaline shot, Xero overcharged the Angel Blade, using his other hand for the Steven, the heavily serrated blade was doing hell to NS's life-energy.
Keeping it up, he used all of his weapons, Bloodblasters, APS, Muramasa, Catalytic Lens, Masamune, Wolverine, Scorpion, Steven, Boomknives, Sephiroth, Dragon Pearl, Aeroblade, Plasma Pincer, Gravity Hammer, and most used of all of them, the Sword of Weakness to Swords.
NS was getting really close to death herself, she was still regaining energy, though.
She grabbed Xero, injecting him with her purest and most powerful darkness, blasting him and draining almost all of his remaining life-force.
He laid on the ground, his armor was blown to shit, he was weak, defenseless....
Useless....
'Don't start that self-degenerative thinking now, self, I still need to do this, fight to the last breath' he thought, trying to pull himself up, he found that he wasn't able to do even that, he decided to pull up some dying music.
Notifications (2)
He checked them.
1. Armor update completed, ready to deploy.
2. Unknown Weapon identified, code-number; Kary-4.
Xero smiled maliciously.
He started his theme song.
NS was scared, when your enemy comes walking out of the flames of death looking like a Horseman of the (fucking) Apocalypse, sporting that kind of tune, anyone would be scared.
What did he look like?
Something like this:
But with no belt-bound weapons, mark of magical stuff, hood, boots, or mask.
The boots were still the same ones he had, but with a lot of small, needley spikes on the bottom and the blade reached down to almost the ground.
Xero stabbed the Masamune and the Steven into the ground, the blades pierced through, marring the previously flawless landscape.
He summoned the weapon code-numbered; Kary-4
The Executioner's Mask was a very powerful weapon, when equipped, it increased speed and perception to abso-fucking-lutely immense levels, it allowed the user to teleport, go really fucking fast, fly, and increased energy efficiency and consumption by 3-fold.
Xero's inner workings gave him infinite energy, his new outfit could block as much as Omega's 6.8 armor, so anything besides explosives, .50cal rounds, and 7.62mm round, magnums didn't affect him, and melee hits did nothing.
He equipped it, it attached to his Satanic Visor, creating the Satanic Executioner, a truly badass name for a truly badass weapon.
His hair even became a mass of glowing dark blue energy.
"Let's try this again, shall we?" he taunted, his voice sounded god-like, talking down at anyone and anything, the final piece of his heavens-high mountain of an ego.
NS tried to attack, a series of quick, short teleportations from the enhanced Xero dodged all of the blasts.
Like a ninja bred with an Enderman from Minecraft, he delivered several thousand sonic-enhanced punches over the course of less than 30 seconds.
NS realized she was quickly losing.
Xero used the Masamune and the Steven to finish her off, performing a scissor-blade-neck-slice.
Letting the dark beast in a super-model body fall to the ground, Xero did, in fact, rape the body.
Dismissing the Executioner's Mask, he stood still, he felt alive, god-like, satisfied in all primal areas, especially the need to kill.
The Nightmare Realm dissipated around him, leaving only the body he had just desecrated, it faded to darkness and turned into a wisp of black fire, his residue fell to the ground with nothing to hold it, he kicked some dirt over it, in case something walked through this area any time soon.
The black fire entered his body, he felt the power flowing through him, he absorbed the darkness, it felt exhilarating, he felt so much energy it took all of his discipline to not fly as fast as he could for, like, an hour or something.
Luna glided down to the area where the man stood.
"Well, you certainly have a way with fighting, not caring about your own health, so long as you manage to do your duty and deal with the enemy, you look quite amazing in your new armor, I might add, and lastly, twas odd, your raping off the corpse, but I presume it was a way of giving one last, if literal, 'fuck you'." Luna congratulated the tall-ish newly-armored long bluish-black and white highlights haired Raymanian biology man.
"Thanks, it's nice to get some appreciaton, especially from somepony like you." Xero accepting the gratitude.
"Right, well, there is one last step, you need to fill out this form." Luna debriefed, she levitated over a piece of paper.
Using his newfound darkness power, he found that not only were his wings much large, expanding from 2 feet to 6 feet, and changing from pegasus shape to angel shape, the color was still the same, royal blue, he looked at the form, all he needed to do was write his name.
Equestrian Citizenship and Social Security.
Name: Xero Age: 19 Born: September 21, 981 A.N. (after nightmare) Height: 6 hooves 0 inches Weight: 156 pounds Mane Color: Bluish Black with White Highlights Coat Color: Light Grey Eye Color: Blue Turquoise. Race: Human Magic Aura Color: N/A Cutie Mark: Military: Yes Rank: Class 4 General
"Wow, thanks, I didn't even think about becoming a citizen, and I doubt I could have done it on my own, thank you, Princess." Xero bowed in respect to the awesome mare.
"Xero, you are a true friend, you were willing to put yourself in front of the face of death to stay here with everypony you care about, you have my respect, as even I couldn't do that, for you, my friend, just call me Luna." the lunar deity informed, giving the tallish-man a slight bow.
"Alright then, Luna, thank you, I plan on staying in Equestria for a long, long, very long time." Xero reveal his plans.
The dark man and even darker pony took to the skies, utilizing their extreme skills of flying, the weaved throughout the darkness.
Xero dismissed himself from the aerial dance, returning to the Gala.
He found the place ransacked, broken, everypony had left, even the Mane 6, only Scootaloo remained, brushing her hooves through the plush carpet, acting like she was on ecstasy.
"Huh? Oh, hey bro, are we going home now?" she asked in a relaxed tone.
"Yeah, come on, let's rock and ride." Xero directed, summoning the Rider and getting on it.
Scootaloo wrapped her forelegs around his torso, he revved the engine and took off like a really fast bullet.
Soaring through the skies, returning to Ponyville, and then the town-house, the siblings entered their home.
Xero helped Scootaloo remove her fancy dress, he removed his own fancy suit and re-dressed in his much more comfortable grey shirt with blue circle, opting not to wear a jacket.
His ponytail wiggled at the slight motions of his body as he stared out of the window at the night sky.
He felt the dark energy within him, as he had not completely destroyed the entity, the spirit was gone, but the magic was still available, it was up for grabs, basically, and he grabbed it.
The very existance of the moon and the stars gave him strength, energy, power.
He was connected to the night, not only on an emotional level, but on a spiritual level too, now.
Xero though over everything he had at this point.
I have a life.
My life is peaceful.
My life is safe.
My life is happy.
I have a little sister who is growing up fast.
I have 7 great friends.
A beautiful home.
I have all the weapons I'll ever need.
I have super stylish new armor.
I have my health.
I have my mind.
I have my technology.
I have happiness.
I have a will to keep my life normal and peaceful.
I'm not going to let anything fuck this up for me.
Sliding from the window-sill to his pillow, Xero fell asleep.
Drifting off to sleep, one last though ran through his mind.
Things might get bad, they might get really bad, downright evil, hectic, chaotic, everything, but the willing and the prepared will make the ultimate success.
But all in all, on a scale of 1-10....
Xero gave the night a 9001, he loved it much more than the day.
Even with the automatic awesomeness boost.
It was the BEST, NIGHT, EVER.
Author's Note
Well, that's it, eh? season 1 is done, and no, I'm not obsessed with Xero getting laid, don't even think about, and if you never though about it, continuing doing that and making things easier.
It was exhausting to write this, maybe the NS's attacks do work.
Okay, that's all for now.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The Chaos hides in the Dark.
Doing the waltz through the castle gardens, Xero was having a good time, after finding out that he was not only royally enlisted, which WOULD have SUCKED SHIT, and then finding out he was immediately promoted to Class 4 General, which was exactly like a 4 star general, but ponies, and they were allowed to do whatever they wanted, pretty much.
That was the case, as Xero had just spent an hour playing Hide&Seek with Aran and Derek, Mogar napped a lot, he was probably either half-dead or used sleeping charms on himself, and Xero really wasn't sure which one was correct.
Waltzing into the statue section of the Royal Gardens, he looked at all the stony structures.
Soldier ponies, a flag-bearer, stars, various painters painting stuff, he noticed that the painters were apparently either making self portraits or the sculptors had a sense of humor.
It had to be the latter, because the former was too fucking hilarious to Xero.
Continuing his waltz, he wished to visit the hedge maze garden and parkour along the walls.
He stopped suddenly, and turned to the statue he was about to pass.
It was the weirdest-ass creature he had ever seen, he read the small plate.
"Alright, let's see, Discord, blah blah blah, draconequus, bleh bleh bleh, God of Chaos?" Xero asked rhetorically, he straightened up, looking at the supposed God of Chaos, who looked more like a really weird opera singer.
"That's convenient, I was wondering about other deities' powers that I could steal, I'm already the Master of Darkness (Nightmare Spirit), now, I can also be the Master of Chaos." he thought aloud, summoning his weapons.
"GIMME UR POWARZ!" he demanded, shouting like an angry gamer, shaking and attacking the statue with extreme force and speed.
"I WANNA DO CHAOS, GIMME EM!" he raged, the stony surface of the statue was cracking.
"I WILL DESTROY U M8, U WOT? Y U NO BREAK!" he threatened, his chronic-yet-suppressed insanity losing its suppression.
The statue cracked open, Xero didn't notice as he was too busy shaking the form.
Discord plucked the raging ninja from his torso, holding him by the sides of his head.
"You can stop now, idiot." Discord informed, shortly before receiving the Plasma Pincer up the nose.
"It's time to kill you and steal your powers of being the God of Chaos, I shall be INVINCIBLE!" the bluish-black haired man proclaimed.
"Oh yeah? You think you can handle the POWER of MY JOB? You think you can DO IT BETTER THAN ME? I'll tell you something, 'M8', you can't even begin to imagine the sheer control I have over the uncontrollable, the powers of CHAOS run through my veins, I challenge YOU, puny mortal." Discord paused.
"Y'know, you're really starting to PISS ME OFF, GET ON WITH IT!" Xero demanded.
"You think you can handle my power? That you would SURVIVE IT? I challenge you, puny mortal, to a bet, I bet you, all of my Chaos God power, ALL OF IT, EVEN THE POWER TO GIVE IT AWAY AND TAKE IT BACK, if you can survive the absorbtion process." Discord was cocky.
"So what? Is this like a 'Deal with the Devil' sort of thing? Do I have to give you part of my soul or something?" Xero analyzed.
"You could call it that, so, wadda ya say?" Discord offered.
"I say, GIMME THAT SHEEEEIIIIIIIIIT!" Xero accepted harshly.
"Alright, but I must warn you," Discord started, he was actually summoning all of his power into a solild spell of tranfusion, "No being that I ever did this to survived. Absolutely 0% survival rate." he warned.
"What are you? C3PO? Never tell me the odds." Xero chastised, his devotion to media gave him a LOT of reference power.
"Alright then, THINK CRAZY!" Discord shouted before launching the ball of concentrated Chaos God power at the human.
Xero, much to Discord's HEART-ATTACK did not die, he knew what was coming, he knew exactly what was coming, he had experienced pure chaos in his last 2 missions, the ones that didn't take his life, but left him an emptier man, the energy flowed around him, he absorbed all of it without a single sign of difficulty.
Discord was panicking, Xero was ACTUALLY SURVIVING, he had kept his word, too, he had put every ounce of Chaos God power into that orb, and Xero was about to take it all.
Xero, though not showing it, was using all of his willpower to not die, fighting the fatigue, darkening of the vision, and all that.
His vision turned negative, his ears were ringing, he stayed standing, he was mentally exhausted from fighting the physical exhaustion.
Suddenly, it all clicked into place, the power was fully absorbed.
Xero, the new Master of Darkness (Nightmare Spirit) and Chaos (Discord), felt back up to normal.
He looked at Discord, the former God of Chaos stared at him.
"It was great doing business with you, ya stupid bloody twat." Xero insulted, he landed briefly, flexing his wings, which were not much larger, about 6 feet 8 inches, a small growth compared to a 3 foot difference from Form 1 to Form 2.
Form 3 was still pretty cool.
He started flying with his immensely powerful and now somewhat longer wings.
Soaring high into the blue expanse of air and moisture, he flew to his heart's content.
Turns out Discord could fly with those mis-matched wings of his, he raised himself to meet Xero face to face.
Xero flew away from the former controller of chaos, moving a mile a second, Mach 5, he still couldn't control magic as he had neither a magical well nor a magical outlet.
Archmage-level magical power, and no way to use it, he cursed his Battle Mage in DnD, that shit was rigged.
He looked around, Discord was too far away to matter, and Ponyville was below.
Going straight up, desiring to see his own sonic boom again, the bluish-black haired man broke the sound barrier with extreme force.
He looked back down to see his boom.
He stopped, his wings would have been ripped clean off of his body (if they weren't magically reinforced) from stopping on a dime at that speed.
He froze, unblinking.
He hovered there, breathless.
He couldn't breath, he couldn't move, just stay suspended in the air.
He was terrified, every millisecond bringing him a kilometer closer to shutting down and dying for no natural reason besides fear-induced-heart-attack.
He stared at the symbol of death, of the harbinger, the destroyer of worlds.
He was scared, it made him fear for everything as he knew it.
It was hell, it was hell on earth, the Vileness God.
It shat on the face of the laws of time, turning the day into nighttime, just to accentuate the amount of 'Everything is Fucked'.
What was it? Well, just take a Luna-damned look.
Xero prayed to the creators of everything that had to do with fatness, for help, and spicy foods.
He liked spicy foods.
Slowly descending, the shit had been wiped from the face of the laws of time, and it was daytime again.
Touching down on the ground, he could feel the change just by the odd coldness of the ground, but the sun came and warmed the cobblestone streets up again.
He was probably over-reacting, his first boom had been an X, so a more powerful version would either have more legs to that formation, or add a circle.
Right?
That made sense, right?
Xero hoped to both Luna and himself that it was.
<>
Several days passing, no signs of anything abnormal.
Xero calmed down more and more each day, he had almost forgotten what he had worried about.
Scootaloo walked through the door, flicking her head to remove her hood from it.
"Hey bro, what's up?" the not-so-little filly asked casually.
Xero turned to face his sister, away from his table covered in wine bottles, wine glasses, and dry ice.
"Not much, just enjoying some wine, how about you?" Xero answered.
"Not much, Twilight is acting pretty wierd, like, insane weird, she keeps talking about how she needs a friendship problem to fix." Scoots replied.
"Uh huh, I see that's probably an issue, an issue that I don't want to concern myself with." Xero dismissed the oddity.
"Right, so, hey, can I get some of that?" Scootaloo requested.
"You're, like, how old now?" Xero had lost track of time.
"I'm almost 12." Scootaloo answered.
"What? Holy shit, I had no idea, you look like you're 16." Xero observed.
"Okay then, so, how about that sharing, eh?" the orange pegasus re-asked.
"I don't give a shit, wine is actually good for you, so go ahead." Xero allowed.
Scootaloo took a glass in her hoof, filling it, she took a big whiff of the stuff.
"Smells like rotten fruit and fresh juice." the filly analyzed.
"It basically is, fermented grapes, so technically they ARE rotten, I think, I'm no professional, but that is the basics of it, grape juice left to ferment and form ethanol, or liquor alcohol, actual alcohol is much different, and drinking it would be egregious." Xero explained, taking another swig of the dark red fluid.
"Using the word egregious doesn't help me understand the effects of normal alcohol, and thus, using the logic of the crappy school system, I am tempted to drink it." Scootaloo mocked, taking a long drink of the grape-y drink.
"Hey, 1; we are a proper speaking household, use the term 'shitty', and 2; egregious means both highly good and highly bad, so it could help save your life, or hurt you really badly, maybe even both." Xero listed educationally.
"Right, so, logically, again: according to shitty school logic, now that I know the effects, I don't want to drink it, but I know that that isn't the truth, I don't want to drink it because I don't want to, what's the phrase? 'Risk it for the biscuit'." the pegasus filly re-assessed.
"Heh heh, yeah, I hated school, only good part for me was when we left, did I ever tell you how I dropped out of school?" Xero querried.
"Yeah, you killed your parents with a kitchen knife, and escaped, I can assume that the school-board called in concern to repeated absences, and the neighbors probably called the cops, by the time an investigation started, you had long since gotten the hell out of dodge." the orange pony extrapolated.
"That is... exactly correct, I'm proud that you know enough about laws and government to know about stuff like that and how to figure out what happened, it speaks wonders for your future." Xero complimented.
Scootaloo's face fell at the last part.
"What's wrong?" Xero immediately picked up on the change of attitude.
"I, well, I don't know what my future holds, I don't even have my cutie mark yet." Scootaloo lamented.
"Break things." Xero suggested simply.
"What? Why?" the younger sibling was confused now.
"Whenever I get really frustrated, I break things, it helps calm down, and if you plan it, you can get rid of junk you don't want." Xero revealed.
"That makes sense, what should I break?" Scootaloo pondered aloud.
"Break trees, then, break rocks, THEN, break CLOUDS, AND THEN YOU BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER WOOOOOO!" Xero ascended in enthusiasm with each word for no discernible reason.
"Alright, I'll do it." Scootaloo accepted, exiting the house and taking to the sky, Xero not far behind.
They had work to do.
<>
The siblings flew fast and agile, doing professional moves with ease at several hundred miles per hour.
Tonight was a night for watching the night sky, it was legitimately night now, Xero wondered that if he did his boom, it would turn to daytime, nonetheless, everypony was out and about, they could see the pair from the light trails they made.
Scootaloo had a orange-yellow-white trail with stars, Xero had an electric blue trail with lightning.
Xero stayed at the same speed his younger sibling did, keeping at least 20 meters behind her, however.
She sped up, he sped up, she made a turn, he made that same turn.
They were in perfect sync.
Making a light-show, the pair flew with deadly velocity.
Xero slowed down some.
Scootaloo was faced with the visible Mach-cone, she flew faster and faster to destroy it.
The cone narrowed, she flew faster.
Time seemed to slow down, the Mach-cone compressed into a single line of energy, it flashed out in a very anime-like fashion.
"Great fucking SCOTT, this is SO DAMN HEAVY!" Xero shouted to himself.
It was a mystery how nothing was broken, maybe it was because the boom was about 5 miles up in the sky.
That just made the ponies see it much longer.
Everything seemed to become a thousand times more beautiful.
It was....
Nothing could have been more glorious than that moment.
Except the moment that occured several moments after.
Scootaloo landed with the infinite grace that only somepony who just did their Sonic Boom could possess.
Everypony else was still amazed at the blast.
Xero landed beside her, putting on a pair of sunglasses, he poked his sister on the flank.
"Dat plot, look." he pointed out.
Scootaloo looked back at her flank, emblazoned over the originally orange fur was a 5-pointed star, slowly fading from red, to orange, to yellow, to green, to blue, to purple, to black, to gray, to white, to grey, to red again, then repeating the process again.
It was adorned with a pair of orange wings, indentified by the black outlines, and a comet-like trail of light, bright gray with small rainbow colored stars mixed in.
It was her cutie mark, which displayed her ability to fly like a comet, even through space, no doubt, and her special sound-barrier-breaking effect was the Sonic Starboom.
It was the greatest cutie mark either of the sibling ever laid eyes on.
Scootaloo cried tears of joy, she looked up and down the symbol, the star placed squarely upon her flank, the gray light trail tapering all the way to a point, running down her leg, stopping mere inches above her hoof.
Same on both sides.
The not-so-little orange pegasus filly was ecstatic.
Xero poked it again, it let off a small burst of sparkles.
"It's still got residual formation magic going on, it'll keep shining for about a week." Xero theorized.
Scootaloo pushed from the ground to get up on her hind legs, she hugged her big brother tightly.
"Thank you SO much for helping me, bro." Scoots gushed, the joy-provoked-tears still flowing.
"Anything for you, sis, anything for you." Xero patted the happy pony on her back, half-way hugging her as she was almost crushing him, though his armor could take 1 ton of force before giving way, so he was fine.
The 2 shared the happy moment.
At this point, nothing could make this better.
Xero got a notification that the upgrade for the Executioner's Mask, which amplified the energy efficiency and stat boost to 5 times more, and reduced the energy consumption raise to only 2 times, rather than 3, plus an aesthetic bonus of a demonic, tooth filled mouth design instead of blank, un-threatening mouth holes.
It almost made it better, but fell short.
This was the perfect moment.
'Maybe not perfect, a different scenario with different circumstances could be even better.' the thought crossed his mind, he wasn't sure how to feel about it.
Walking the tear-exhausted young mare back home, he decided that would be too far, the power of taking over the Chaos God energy had drained him somewhat, and the eye-orgasm of the sound-barrier-breaking special effect was enough to tire him out.
Flying up to a cloud, laying next to Scootaloo, who had unconsciously curled up into a circle, he closed his eyes.
Sleep came with the complete darkness, and his dreams were filled with chaos.
The following days would hold new adventures, new excitement, events, all the good and all the bad that came with life.
Xero was as prepared as he could imagine.
Things were going to be fun.
Hopefully.
Author's Note
alright, I think my writing speed is slowing down, I think, I always think that, and as it turns out, it's only been a day since the last chapter was added.
This chapter was kinda short, I know, whatever, I thought it would be better to end it there.
Next chapter will have stuff going on, like all the chapters do.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Live by the "Angel", Die by the "Blade"
Xero was ready for tonight, it was the darkest night of the year.
Nightmare Night, the Equestrian equivalent of Halloween.
Xero had his costume ready.
Summoning the heavy suit of armor, made of super-parameter alloys, able to block any projectile that wasn't an explosive or a .50cal round, the ab lights lit up blue, the flattened templar cross visor glowed blue, the gloves were his own, dark leather-like material and the mechanical parts for the Blood Wires and the Sonic Blasters attached to them, the boots were a similar dark leather, the heavy-duty rubber sole was replaced with a metal plate sole, thin-yet-durable spikes were placed upon each small platelet, the rest of the boot was just dark leather, with electricity insulation.
It was a perfect copy of Omega's armor.
The Power armor, as opposed to the Speed suit.
Xero made his move.
<>
Xero could still fly in the suit, he had even dyed his hair red, though he kept the ponytail.
He sped through the streets, he wouldn't dare parkour on the buildings, as the 2000 pound suit would easily break the straw-thatched roofs.
Ponies left right and center were all dressed up, having fun.
He ran into Twilight first.
"Hey Twilight." Xero tried and failed to make his voice sound like his heavy-weight friend.
"What the? Xero? What are you wearing?" Twilight was confused at the human's strange attire.
"A 2000 pound suit of super-parameter alloy armor, capable of protecting me from whatever Equestria could throw at me, it's my costume, I'm going as my old friend Omega." Xero explained.
The tall-ish man departed into the sky with nary another word, he wanted to find the others.
Twilight was dressed as Starswirl the Bearded, Xero read a lot of history now because the stories were like RPGs.
Sailing through the sky, Xero went to his friends 1 by 1, the Mane 6 were wearing;
Applejack was a scarecrow.
Pinkie Pie was a chicken, Xero found this to be funny, because now, Pinkie Pie and Scootaloo were absolutely nothing alike, they were like 2 peas located on different continents.
Twilight, was, again, Starswirl the Bearded.
Rarity was going as Princess Celestia, though with darker mane and tail, and much shorter stature.
Fluttershy was a cat, a scaredy cat, to be exact, at least that was what Xero thought about it.
Rainbow Dash, wait, where was she?
*CRACKA-BOOM LIGHTNING AND THUNDER ARE REALLY LOUD*
Xero almost pissed himself in shock.
Turning around, ready to smack someone, in the face, with a sword, he found Rainbow Dash laughing like a fool.
"HAHAHAHahahahaaaaa, oh dear Celestia, that was awesome." Dash choked out, she was overtaken by giggles and guffaws.
"Riiiiight, I wasn't scared, you know that, right?" Xero asked rhetorically.
"HA, like hell you weren't, the way you jumped and spun around." Dash argued.
"Oh yeah, I just heard lightning and thunder, I'm not going to be shocked at the sudden loud-ass noise at all; said nopony ever." Xero countered.
"You're just trying to be fancy-shmancy to score points with me." Dash changed the subject of the conversation with her joke.
"What, does my posh brimish accent, rugged good looks, and extremely amazing flying skills not do enough?" Xero joked back.
"Sadly for you, no." Dash replied.
"Damn, I'll have to use intelligent charm then." Xero sarcastically changed his plans.
"Tch, like you have 'intelligent charm', you're just as dumb as me." Dash shot down the fake plan, not realizing what she just said.
"Bah, I think you don't realize how much you've insulted yourself." Xero pointed out.
"Oh, fuck you." Dash went simple with her response.
"I bet you would like to." Xero retorted.
"Really? You don't have much charm." Rainbow's replies were getting shorter because she had to resist laughing like a maniac at the ridiculousness of the conversation.
"HAH, I got charm comin' outta my ass." Xero went posh, just to contrast his words.
"Yeah, real charming." Dash broke, she started laughing uproariously.
The pair just laid on the cloud, laughing their asses off.
This continued for several minutes, the insane laughter died down eventually, Xero's mind was void of thoughts, he sighed and stood up.
"Heheh, a-ha-alright, I need to go, check on stuff." Xero dismissed himself about to fly off.
"What kinda stuff?" Dash querried.
"Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngsss." Xero replied, quoting the Walking Dead like a pro.
"Okay then...." Dash trailed off, looking across the ground to remember what she was doing before Xero showed up.
<>
Xero landed on the ground with the grace of a master ninja, which is logical, because he IS a MASTER NINJA.
Walking through the town with his armor glinting in the moonlight, un-necessarily shined, because he cared, it was an unconscious respect to Omega, as it was literally a carbon-copy of the older man's armor.
Entering town-square, the tall-ish man felt a disturbance in the force.
Looking to the sky, he saw his favorite princess rolling up on the scene.
Luna.
The night-inspired decorated chariot glinted in the light, made of silver, with black engravings, the crescent moon with a black background, Luna's cutie mark, was painted gloriously on the front of the chariot.
The lunar princess jumped from the chariot as it passed over-head, landing softly with flared wings.
"*ahem* Greetings, subjects, it is I, your Princess of the Night, Luna." she greeted, raising her voice slightly to make sure everypony heard her clearly.
Everypony heard, and they panicked.
Ducking down, trying to make themselves as small as possible, Luna frowned at the evasion.
"Excuse these assholes, your majesty, they just don't 'rekanyz', I, for one, greet you with open embrace and warm heart." Xero greeted, bowing briefly.
"Yeah, come on, you highness, this place is full of dumb-fucks anyways, let's go do something cool." Scootaloo added, gliding into the conversation, she was dressed as a Royal Guardpony, specifically a Lunar Guard.
"Hmmm, I am please by your offer, alright then." Luna accepted, she trusted Xero, and anypony Xero brought up, which would only be Scootaloo, but it was enough, the young pony was a good soul.
"Your Princess of the Night departs, try not to cower in fear next time I just want to hang out with the common-folk." Luna said to the ducked ponies.
The trio spread their wings and flew away.
The ponies cheered that the beast had gone.
<>
The man, the mare, and the princess flew through the sky together, enjoying eachother's company.
Landing on a large cloud, at least a few meters in diameter, the group stopped to breathe.
"So, well, you 2 get along great, for opposite-sex-siblings." Luna observed, Xero ruffled his sister's mane before responding.
"Yeah well, I'm a good guy, mostly, she's a good pony, mostly, and I'm the older of the 2, so I like to think we get along much better than most siblings do." Xero explained.
"Better than the royal siblings, I know that." Luna trailed off, looking down.
"So, should I beat Celestia halfway to death then? I need an excuse." Xero asked, he was being serious.
"No, it's just, when she made her big mistake, she tried to blame it on everything else, and used her superior magical power to brain-wash the ponies into thinking so..." Luna trailed off again, she looked up, anger marred her visage.
"But when I made my big mistake, she makes a MOTHER-DAMNED HOLIDAY ABOUT IT!" the dark alicorn shouted in fury.
"Fury, Strife, War, and Death." Xero said for no immediately discernible reason.
"The 4 Horses of the Apocalypse? Why are they being mentioned?" Luna's anger was replaced by confusion.
"Well, I possess the powers of Fury and Strife, Darkness God powers from the Nightmare Spirit, and Chaos God powers from Discord, the other 2, War and Death, I wish to possess those powers." Xero sounded un-nervingly calm, though his words were of an insane heretic.
"I see, your innate, uncontrollable magics, the ones that are bound to your very own DNA, they give you an insatiable lust for power, do they not?" Luna analyzed.
"Yes, they also give me the insatiable lust for knowledge, and for dominance of all types, everything that I, as a human, am, is all formed from nobody-knows-how-long-of-a-time of growth, development, and advancement." Xero added.
"Why are we talking about this?" Scootaloo asked suddenly.
Xero and Luna shook their head in mental shock, the mental states they had entered where ones of higher imagination, lower perception, getting shocked out of said state would cause one's mind to void all active thoughts.
"Right, hey, let's go back to Ponyville, I think everypony had calmed their tits/balls about all the 'Nightmare Moon' stuff, it's just stupid to assume things, and while it is more stupid to not make assumptions from observation, the former is what we're dealing with." Xero proposed, flaring his wings outward and getting into a hover.
With little-to-no sense being made in his statement, Xero, along with the others, flew freely.
They were just enjoying the little things.
<>
A triple Sonic Boom tore through the sky.
Xero's Sonic X-Boom.
Scootaloo's Sonic Starboom.
Luna's own boom, the (very unoriginal but still cool) Sonic Moonboom, which appeared as though the waxing and waning crescents were attached to eachother via the points on the end.
It was a moon-circle, basically.
The ponies on the ground were amazed, Xero was relieved that his boom was back to being blue.
Landing on the ground again, the trio looked to the ponies staring at them.
"*Ahem* Are you not entertained?" Xero querried.
Everypony cheered.
Taking in the applause, the 3 separated, Luna to go enjoy time with the commonfolk, who were, surprisingly, more loyal and faithful than the high-class and noble ponies that actually lived near her , enough to know what she does.
Xero and Scoots made their way through the city streets together.
They were approached by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Rainbow Dash.
"Scootaloo! That was..." Applebloom trailed off, trying to find the right word.
"Amazing!" Sweetie Belle piped up.
"Aw, it was nothing." Scootaloo dismissed.
"How could it be nothin'? Ya even got yer cutie mark!" Applebloom pointed out.
The trio looked at Scootaloo's flank, emblazoned upon it still was her cutie mark, the color changing star with the orange wings, grey light trail, and rainbow stars mixed into the trail, running down her leg, ending a couple of inches above her hooves.
"Oh, this, yeah, I've had it for, like, almost a month now, didn't you 3 see my first Sonic Starboom?" the orange pegasus skepticized.
Rainbow Dash landed next to her.
She poked Scootaloo's cutie mark.
It was a cutie mark.
"Well, I have to say, that move was SO AWESOME." Dash praised, making the 'why wub woo' face in the process.
"You really think so?" Scootaloo querried excitedly.
"Yeah, it was amazing, a boom like that, or one like mine, could easily grab ponies' attention, and win them over with pure coolness." Dash informed.
"Heh, well, that's pretty cool, I, I don't even have anything to say, but me and bro need to be somewhere, right?" Scoots tried to dismiss the pair from the conversation, not to be rude, she seriously didn't have anything to say,
"Uuuhh... Right! To the liquor store! WOOOOOOOH!" Xero cheered, taking flight.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" Scootaloo cheered as well, taking flight after her brother.
"Wow, that is so... what." Dash was completely left-fielded by the sudden development.
"Isn't liquor, like, poison?" Sweetie querried the cyan mare of the trio.
"I.... what?" Dash was still left-fielded by the development.
It wasn't the whole 'Xero and Scootaloo drink alcohol together' thing, no...
It was the 'Scootaloo didn't want to talk to her' thing.
Not even 6 months ago, the orange filly had pestered her endlessly about teaching her to fly, showing her tricks, being her Number 1 Fan.
Now she had blown her off, even after she had praised her about her skills and moves.
Xero had changed Scootaloo.
Dash wasn't sure if it was good, the filly was being de-sensitized by the man's regretless attitude.
The cyan mare had to do something about this.
She was probably paranoid, but the keyword was 'probably'.
She took flight, she needed to prepare.
<>
Xero lounged on the couch, reading the day's newspaper, he was relaxed, a glass of wine, one of many, sat on the couch-side table.
The door was knocked on, shortly followed by being opened.
*click-click*
Xero set the newspaper calmly on the table, downing the glass of wine and standing to face his supposed attacker.
"Xero, I would suggest sitting down." the less-than-feminine-but-still-female voice offered, the tone was a mix of contempt and holier-than-thou, Xero sat down, sighing.
"What have you come for?" he querried, he did not know who his attacker was.
"I've come for your sister." the voice replied.
"I SWEAR IF YOU HURT HE-" he stopped.
It was Rainbow Dash, she looked really mad at him, she was holding a short rifle, which was being pointed right at his head.
"Dash, what are you doi-" he was cut off by the cold metal of the barrel being pressed against his skin.
"I'm here for Scootaloo, I've been watching you, Xero, you're supposed to be taking care of her, not making her an anti-social alcoholic, which, by the way, the latter is highly illegal." the opposing pegasus informed.
"So what? You're just going to waltz in here and take her from me? I'm not letting you take her without a fight." Xero warned.
"I'm the one with the weapon, here, I call the shots, and take them." Dash reassessed.
Xero wouldn't be able to dodge a shot at less than half a meter's distance, his breathing shallowed slightly.
"Right, so, where is she?" RD demanded, letting her anger into her voice.
"She's in school, it IS time for that shit, right?" Xero vaguely remembered that school started around 8am and let out at 3pm.
"Xero, it's sunday, she's either here, or out." RD analyzed.
*click click click click*
"Stop now, Rainbow Dash." Scootaloo entered the equation, keeping her dual Desert Eagle XIX models trained on the older pegasus.
"What? How? You couldn't have gotten a gun like tha-" Dash's outward contemplating was cut off by Xero snatching the gun away and smacking her in the face with it, hard enough to knock her to the ground and make a sick crunch sound.
"You've met a terrible fate, you're lucky that you're so important to the public, or else I would have already shot you." Xero said, his voice grim, he had one foot placed squarely on her chest, keeping her down.
"What.... how?" Dash was confused, sure, Xero was a great flyer, but how did he have moves like that?
"I'm a human, we poison our air and water to weed out the weak." Xero started, jabbing the cyan in the mouth, contemplating fucking everything and shooting her anyways.
"Whaaa......." Dash was still shell-shocked about how the tables had suddenly turned.
"We set off nuclear radiation bombs in our only bio-sphere." the tall-ish man continued.
"I, I don't...." RD stayed silent.
"We NAILED our GOD to a STICK !" Xero shouted in the mare's face.
"Don't fuck with the human race, or you'll end up far worse than dead." Xero warned, his tone was as grave as mortally possible.
The bluish-black haired man straightened up, pushing RD against a wall and sitting her up.
He looked at rifle, keeping the Masamune between the mare and the door, the dark matter it was made of would crush the pony effortlessly.
"The Carcano Fucile di Fanteria Model 91/38, on my planet, the one where all that stuff that I said happens, this is a rifle made in Italy, chambered in 6.5x52mm rifle-type ammunition, made for reliability in an increasingly deadly time-period, this was the same model used by Lee Harvey Oswald to assassinate U.S. President John F. Kennedy while the latter was riding in the Presidential Limousine, not only hitting his target 4 times, but decapitating him, causing the head to rip from the neck out of pure force from the bullets hitting it, it is looked down upon and anybody who owns one is considered at least a mentally ill person, if not heartless and stupid for supporting an infamous murderer." Xero monologued.
He looked down at RD, smacking her across the face again.
"Get the fuck out of my house before I either force you out and/or rape you." Xero commanded with Fury, being the Master of Fury (darkness of the NS) and Strife (chaos from Discord) had its perks now and again, even if he could not directly control the magic.
He lifted off of the beaten mare's chest, the injured pony made her way quickly enough out of the door.
Xero jammed the gun and proceeded to throw it at the offending mare.
"And don't come back." Xero shouted his last warning like the crotchety old man that he was, but his body didn't show it.
The angry young-and-old-at-the-same-time man slammed the door shut.
"Bloody twat." he said the final insult much quieter.
"So, how fucked are we?" Scoots asked, bracing herself for the answer.
"I would have to say, not at all, you and me, Scoots, we're like 2 peas in a pod, RD used to like me, she was probably PMSing like a fire-hydrant, and got really pissed off that me and you are so close, she's not the Element of Generosity, she was just missing you as being her ego-masturbater, noting more." Xero assured.
"RIght, she seemed like that, anyways, I need to go and help the other crusaders earn their cutie marks, we're still crusading, even if I'm just helping." Scootaloo said, dismissing herself and taking to the sky.
Watching his little sister fly from the house, Xero set out for his day's chosen activity.
He no longer liked living on the ground, and he had the internal magic to walk on clouds, so it was obvious.
He was going to build a cloud-house.
<>
The acquisition of building materials was easy, turns out, a special device could make water-less clouds for building.
FOR FREE.
The only real cost was that it used magic, which was infinitely regenerative throughout the planet's entire atmosphere.
Purchasing the best one he could get, getting it plated in gold and diamonds just because he had several fuck-tonnes of money.
Creating the materials, using his strength and dexterity to compress them into concrete-hard lighter-than-air objects, building a veritable fortress.
A greek temple style pation, with fancy pillars and a nice, wide area to roam on, he made the thing very big.
With 3 stories, 1st floor, 2nd floor, and basement, raising the mass itself to rest on top of the large cloud platform.
The roof was designed to hold solar panels and water, not only using it for hydro-electric generators, but purifying it to drink.
Using cube-tonian physics to assist him, the Minecraft style of building, he made the thing impeccably strong, with 1 meter thick walls, nice open windows made of ice, even using a special function on the cloud maker to acquire dissolving crystals that would turn into water, using those for glassware, as it was much more efficient than real glass.
A big kitchen, wide open living room, with a big side closet, clothing rack, a chair and a 2 couches, 1 was a 2-seater, the other was a 3-seater.
4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms;
1 for Xero, with 1 internal bathroom.
1 for Scootaloo.
2 other rooms for either guests, or 'guests'.
1 bathroom on the top floor.
1 bathroom on the first floor.
The last bathroom was in the basement.
Setting up his machines in the basement, setting up a 2nd terminal and everything.
Furnishing the rooms, hauling everything from the town-house to the cloud-house.
The project took a total of about 8 hours, chacking the clock, Xero found it to be 6pm.
This was 1 difference between himself and Omega, Omega was content, Xero wasn't.
Making everything more fancy than Martha Motherfucking Stewart, even adding rainbow waterfalls, running through extremely intricate paths and looping back around to the top and falling again, so he wouldn't have to replace the rainbow liquids every time it all ran out, as it wouldn't.
The construction was complete, Xero looked at his craftsmanship, it was amazing.
He flew off to find his sister. he needed to show her this awesomeness.
<>
Scootaloo glided through the air, scouting out a good spot to sleep for the night, she and the crusaders had been out and about later than usual, all 3 filles were experiencing tremendous growth spurts, though Scootaloo got the greatest bout of it, she looked about 16, where as Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked 14.
In truth, she was, by a few months, the oldest of the group, being born early in the year, on March 10, where as the other 2 were born some time in July and August.
Landing outside the door to the town-house, she opened it to find Xero carrying a cardboard box, the living room was full of poor looking ponies.
"Ah, sis, nice to see you got home safely, I would flip a literal pile of shit if you didn't." Xero greeted crudely, adjusting his stance to make the box as easy to carry as possible.
"What is all this? What's going on?" Scootaloo querried, somewhat worried about this development.
"I used Minecraft power to make a cloud-house, because I'm tired of living on the ground, and because I didn't need the town-house anymore, I sold it to all of Ponyville's homeless, leaving plenty of money for food, water, to pay the bills, and anything else they might need, from rags to riches in 9 seconds flat." Xero explained.
"9 seconds flat?" Scootaloo was confused, how so fast?
"It took me 9 seconds flat to pour out a big pile of dark bits." Xero revealed.
"Oh yeah, your *ahem* 'made' money." Scootaloo was completely aware of her brothers extreme counterfeiting, he had enough money to make Fill Gates eat his own out.
"Yep, come on, this is the last of the stuff, my clothes, let's go." Xero directed, tossing a set of keys to the former-homeless ponies, it was a bunch of copies of the house-key, a couple dozen, as the whole town had only about 20 homeless, it was a great town, plenty of space for everypony, almost.
The winged pair flew off, Xero went much slower than normal, only a few hundred miles per hour, the pair loved flying fast, they reached the regal-sky-palace-like structure in a minute.
Scootaloo marveled at the sight.
"It's even better inside." Xero informed, only making his sister more excited.
The siblings entered, the older making his way upstairs, the younger staring in awe at the new things.
"Since when did we have a TV?" the orange pony querried, she was not informed of the change.
"I got it today, it's the best on the market, I could afford it, so I bought it." Xero answered, hooking up the gaming consoles that he had gotten as well.
"It's all really fancy and shiny, I know, you don't have to say." the Master of Many Things bluish-black haired man added.
He connected the wires with ease and skill, the remote of the massive television, about 84 inches wide and 48 inches tall, it was ready.
"So, wanna play some games?" Xero offered, opening up a cabinet that was almost bursting with games.
"Alright!" Scootaloo accepted with joy.
And so they played, everything from Call of Cutie, to Battlefilly, to Haylo, Final Reality, Left 4 Dead, Legend of Celestia, Mareio, Marevel vs. Coltcom, and a lot of others.
Xero's melee skills translated into the games, because whenever he got a melee weapon in any of the games, he won within a minute.
Even in games where it didn't make sense, like LoC, Final Reality, Left 4 Dead, and Mareio.
It was impressive in Call of Cutie and Haylo.
It was hell in Chivalry and War of the Roses, which were both based almost entirely on melee combat, with little range and specialties on the side.
In the end, though, they had a great time.
Xero yawned suddenly, and looked at the time.
"Ooooh, shit, it's midnight, come on, time for bed, you have school in the morning." Xero pointed out, standing up and stretching.
"*yawn* Okay." Scootaloo replied simply.
The pair went upstairs, Xero tucked Scootaloo into bed, and went to his own room.
Stripping off his clothes and tossing them haphazardly to the floor, he laid down and closed his eyes.
Sleep came easily enough.
He only hoped things would stay easy.
Or at least, thing would stay peaceful.
Peace was the one thing he wanted.
That, and impaling someone with a sword.
He wasn't insane, just mentally unstable.
That makes sense, right?
Right?
Author's Note
I know that my version of the JFK assassination is very different from the real story, but blame Madness World differences, okay?
March 10 is Chuck Norris's birthday, FYI.
"RD is out of character" the viewers complain.
Yes, Xero does things in 9 seconds flat, as a sort of 1-upping to RD, who does things in 10 seconds flat, I'm not sure if anybrony didn't get that joke because NOBRONY COMMENTS, Y U NO COMMENT? LEAVE A COMMENT!
BILL GATES IS RICH JOKE, LOL.
PONIFIED VIDEO GAME TITLES, LOL.
See you next time.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Negativity is what breaks things
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Xero philosphized.
"That's deep, bro." Scootaloo replied.
The 2 had been doing some drinking, and were in a state of emotion versus logic.
Both of them suddenly stood up and started dancing, for no reason.
It was awkward looking too, as they were doing the caramell-dansen.
Scootaloo, being a pony, had to get up on her hind legs to do this.
Xero did not have arms or legs, so it just looked really damn wierd.
They just did not give any fucks.
In fact, if it were possible, they would be giving negative fucks.
<>
Scootaloo almost tripped onto her muzzle as she entered the CMC clubhouse.
"There you are, Scoot, do you know where Applebloom is?" Sweetie Belle, already there, asked the not-so-clearly-but-still-very intoxicated pegasus.
"....No." the words took a few seconds to register in the young pony's mind.
"Okay, are you alright? You seem kinda, off." Sweetie Belle was concerned for her friend, even though the white filly was tidying up the room.
"Oh, me and bro were drinking a little, it was an hour of honor, I've gotten my speed up to where I can break the sound barrier in 15 seconds, going straight up." Scootaloo explained, sobering up a little.
"That's.... great, hey, do you have any ideas on what mine and Applebloom's cutie marks could be?" the purple and pink maned pony querried.
"You're pretty fuckin' awesome at singing, and Applebloom is on par with Steve in building skills, so go on that, see how it works out." Scootaloo replied simply.
"Really? I never thought myself to be a good singer..." Sweetie thought deeply about how this would affect her.
"Just sing a little bit right now." the orange pegasus insisted.
"I, I don't know." the white unicorn replied hesitantly.
"Do it, DO IT, DO EET!" the violet maned filly prodded.
"Okay, fine, I'll do it." Sweetie lacked confidence.
The white filly sang, it was quiet, very quiet, but it was beautiful.
Scootaloo gave a 'go on' gesture.
Sweetie Belle sang a bit louder, not much, but it was something.
Another 'go on' gesture.
Sweetie sang quite a bit louder comparatively, though in actuality it was about normal volume.
'Go on' again.
Sweetie sang at a normal singing tone, it was still beautiful throughout.
"Damnit Sweetie Belle, SING LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" Scootaloo rebuked.
Sweetie Belle breathed in deep, using her magic to assist her.
A track of music filled the air as she sang this time.
It was glorious.
(Enter some epic song with female vocals here)
(I can't be bothered to find one, maybe something by Michael Jackson?)
(Roll in the transition)
<>
Applebloom smiled sheepishly at her big sister and Twilight.
She had been jealous of Scootaloo's cutie mark acquisition, and wanted her own even more than before.
Enough to steal rare and dangerous-when-isolated plants and eat them, causing her to get the Cutie Pox.
She got read the riot act.
After that, she was let go, she learned her lesson.
Know what you're about to eat before eating it.
Severe side effects could take place.
The risk was not worth it.
Things in Ponyville went back to normal.
At least, as normal as they can get, given the fact that the 6 heroines of the land as well as the world's first and only human were living there all at once.
Stuff that helps get on to the next scene.
Herp derp.
Miracles.
<>
Rainbow Dash was being outshined by the 'Mysterious Mare Do Well', as the silent hero was known.
She went to the only place she knew could help her.
Knocking on the black painted door, a shaving stallion answered the door.
The pony in front of her was still shaving when he answered the damn door .
"Hello Miss Rainbow Dash, nice to see you, do you have business with Ponyville's quote-unquote 'Deluxe Homeless Shelter'?" the stallion asked warmly, holding a mirror in front of him to make sure he was getting all of his messy beard off.
Dash wasn't confused about how the homeless pony knew who she was, she had quite the reputation with the homeless, as many of them did not have much else better to do than watch her, her skills and reputation made her known throughout all of Ponyville.
"What? I thought this was the residence of Xero, y'know, the world's only human?" RD was confused by this development.
"Ah, right, Mister Xero donated his house to be used as a shelter for the homeless, selflessly donating about a billion bits to keep it running throughout at least a century." the stallion explained, going over his jawline again.
"Xero did that ? I'm, impressed at the generosity, but I need to know where Xero is." RD got to the point.
"Oh yeah, he moved into a cloud-house, himself and his darling little sister being pegasuses and all, at least, Xero has wings and stuff." the homeless pony answered, deciding that his shave was sufficient.
"Thanks man, I need to go." the cyan mare dismissed herself, flaring her wings out and taking to the skies.
"Alright, good luck on whatever it is you're doing, Rainbow Dash." the messy stallion said in goodbye, closing the door to the house.
Rainbow Dash kept flying.
Speeding through the sky, the cyan mare watched all of the clouds, looking for the house.
There was no way Xero had building skills, he could fight, yes, and do interior decorating, she had seen that, but actually building a house was something that she doubted he could do.
Coming up on a fancy house with concrete-like cloud walls, she knocked on the door.
A stumbling mare left the home, her tail was visibly wet, the new pony took off, flying shakily away from the alabaster palace-like residence.
"Heh heh heh, thank you for choosing 'Knob Air-Lines', heeheeheehee, 'Please Come Again'." the british ninja man called out to the departing pony.
"What the? Oh, Xero? You live here?" Dash querried.
"Yeah, I even run my own at-home business, don't ask what I do, I don't like to give away information like that." Xero answered, gesturing for RD to enter his home.
The pair walked inside, Xero sat on left side of the couch, RD sat on the right.
"So, what troubles you? Ponies? Enemies? Maybe.... the temperature ?" Xero prodded, getting straight to the point.
"The temperature? The fuck does that mean? Y'know what? Nevermind. I'm here because this new pony, like, like a comic book hero or something, just came into town and started saving lives and doing stuff, she, at least I think it's a she, anyway, she's doing MY job." Rainbow Dash ranted.
"So, being an attention grabber." Xero suggested.
"No, being a savior of the common-folk, a hero of the helpless." Dash exaggerated her unofficial position.
"The police, the firefighters, the doctors, soldiers, guards, civil services, THOSE are the real heroes. You just help ponies out of a jam, you're a good samaritan, not a hero of the people." Xero broke RD's mountain of self-acclaiming down to a small pillar.
"But, but, but...." the cyan mare trailed off.
"Ass, fine, I'll fucking help you if it's so bloody important." Xero complied, forgetting to suppress his british-ness and using regional slang.
"Right, so, let's go." the pegasus mare insisted, already at the door and leaving.
"Alright, LET'S ROCK!" Xero shouted his catchphrase.
The speed-demon duo took off, reaching town, which was less than a mile away, in a small amount of time.
Landing hard but steady on the cobblestone street, the pair found themselves in a mostly deserted part of town, only a few residences were in this district, mostly empty buildings waiting to be filled and businesses that had only a handful of ponies inside.
Looking around, trying to find any signs of Mare Do Well's presence, the spectral maned mare looked down an alleyway.
There she was.
Mare Do Well.
"Over there!" Dash pointed out, the pair rushed into the alleyway, Mare Do Well took a few steps forward.
6 meters away, the blue and purple clad pony stared at the 2 winged speed demons silently.
Another Mare Do Well.
And another.
And another.
4 Mare Do Wells.
Xero summoned the Joy Colts.
Oh yeah, he made a copy of the first, so he could dual-wield, also he made them double-action, for semi-auto firing.
Why?
Because FUCK YOU and FUCK THE ENEMY.
"Shoot and Ask or Ask and Shoot?" Xero demanded anxiously, aiming both revolvers carefully
"What?" Dash was more than a little startled by the sudden change of pace, and was beginning to panic.
"Shoot first and Ask later? Or Ask first and Shoot later?" Xero demanded with higher detail.
"I don't know!" the cyan pony was panicking, the Mare Do Wells looked nervous, shifting their weights and getting a bit jumpy, ready to flee, no matter how useless it would be.
"Fuck it!" Xero took the shot, fortunately for all parties involved, the Joy Colts may have been large, but the distance between the barrels was small enough to miss all 4 of the Mare Do Wells, it was surprising none of them shit their suits.
"Take off your masks or I swear to Luna I will not miss the second shot." Xero threatened.
The 4 mares removed their masks immediately.
Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were behind them.
"Oh shit... I almost shot the 4 of the 6 ponies single-hoofedly protecting all of Equestria from powerful evil beings." Xero stated the obvious.
"Where's Rarity?" the cyan of the 5 mares querried, confused by many things.
"Who d'ya think made tha fancy costumes?" Applejack asked back rhetorically.
"I see, okay, now then, what are you 4 doing?" Dash got to the point immediately.
"To teach you a lesson about being a glory-hound." Twilight informed.
"And pulling her aside to just tell her that never came to mind?" Xero piped up.
"I, uh, no, that did not occur to us." Twilight was stumped, she really did not think about that.
"I don't think Dashie would have listened, she really likes to not listen to other ponies." Pinkie chimed, resuming her normal routine of bouncing while doing anything she felt like doing.
"You could have at least TRIED, fucking twats, that's the kind of shit that makes my knob a pretzel, when people don't even TRY, they just go for the 'Nuke it from orbit' option, which, in case you couldn't tell already, IS A BLOODY BAD IDEA!" Xero criticized the group.
"At least I tried , I gave her a chance, I'm loyal like that, I'm kind enough to, even a month after she went PMSing crazy on me, come and defend her honor like this, I'm honest enough to say that yes, I was more than a little pissed off at her for what she did prior, but I forgave her, I'm generous enough to offer my valuable services to her without any knowledge of what she truly needed them for, and I'm laughing at the fact that I, a human, the most corrupt and vile thing on this whole bloody PLANET, possess a more concentrated dosage of friendship and magic to help her in her time of need, no matter how arbitrary and pointless that need is, where as YOU, ponies, the most friendly and rigidly charactered beings that I've ever met, did bugger-all about this, all you did was piss her off, and all I did was give her someone to trust." Xero ranted, criticizing each of the 4 of the Mane 6 one by one.
If he wasn't so good at hiding physical signs of emotion, his face would have been completely reddened, his breathing erratic and almost heart-attack-like, and breaking things with every few words.
He kept physically calm, though his emotions were shitting a furious storm at the 4 ponies.
"All of you can go and be haunted by your worthless, inequine, and downright stupid twatty decisions." Xero spat, he was pissed off at an Omega level, and Omega didn't get pissed off easily, but when he did, it was a storm.
The older man broke bodies and sometimes buildings when he was pissed off, the fact that his name was Omega and that the greek word Omega meant 'the greatest/most powerful of a set of things' was painfully well descriptive of the red color-schemed cyborg.
Xero flared his wings, grabbed Rainbow Dash, and flew off at several hundred mph.
The quartet of other ponies were shocked silent.
Xero still flew, releasing RD so she could fly as well.
They flew far and fast.
<>
It had been a few months, Xero had apologized for his insane rage, the ponies were happy to accept, not smug, but hopeful that the human would not rage like that again, any more, even a simple response during his red-hot banter would set him to 'kill mode'.
Xero at least had good sense of humour about his state of alive-ness, and jokes about this aspect were good-spiritedly laughed at.
Life had returned to normal, though 'normal' was a relative term, and life always got complicated again at some point.
Twilight and Spike had gone through their birthdays, it was over with, end of story.
Xero had his own birthday, mostly random stuff that the mare's though he might want.
Twilight gave him a glowing blue crystal in a silver bead necklace, he appreciated the swag.
Rarity gave him a black gi, made special for him, he greatly appreciated the style
Applejack gifted a wooden crown-type thing, imagine the gold tiara thing RD won at the Best Young Flier's Competition, but brown, and wood, and having an X instead of a lightning bolt.
Pinkie Pie threw the party, and baked a black and blue cupcake.
Fluttershy gave him a candle, it was nice, it smelled like berries.
Rainbow Dash had the best gift, in his opinion, a black and blue katana handled tanto, the blade was made of a silver colored metal, treated with special chemicals to make it iridescent, it wasn't a heavy-duty battle knife, but it was 9 inches long and beautiful.
The rainbow coloring of the iridescence got more than a few laughs, and a suggestive joke from Xero (only he understood the hilarity of 'rainbow juices', though).
Sheathing it in the hard plastic black sheath, Xero carried it like one would a pistol, concealed, of course, and he was deadlier with a knife than the average punk armed with a pistol
The CMC got him a plushie of himself, complete with monocle, he thanked them for the gift shortly before having an intelligent conversation with the copy over a cup of tea.
But that was all months ago, though.
It's winter, the 'Dead of Winter', as Xero called it, the middle, called so because it was when things were so cold that people died.
Now, it was Hearth's Warming Eve.
Lighting the boiling water fireplace, which was odd in and of itself.
Imagine a wide-but-not-tall pile of dark blue crystals with water shooting upwards like it was fire.
It was boiling hot water, which spread warmth, but the moisture was trapped inside the area of the water-flames, giving it and unlimited burn-time.
Xero and Scootaloo exchanged gifts.
Scootaloo got a set of wing-blades, which would not only protect the feathery appendages, but make them more streamlined, and they were still as flexible as the normal wings.
Of course, they had a luster-less treated copper coating, to blend in with her coat.
Xero got a sapphire bladed wakizashi, about 18 inches in length, the special part was that it was imbued with endo-thermic technology assisted magic, making it, in simple terms, an ice sword.
With the Darktic, as he called his new sapphire shortsword, and the Emperor, as he called the iridescant dagger, Xero felt good.
Visiting their friends, with more generic bullshit involving gift giving, Xero made special gifts for everypony
Hoof-sleeves for AJ, to protect her from defect trees that might hurt her.
Wasabi prank on Pinkie, the pink mare went red-faced and chugged a gallon of milk, throwing up the dairy liquid and the green paste in one go.
Twilight got a tablet, essentially the ultimate gift he could give her, able to store over 9,000 books on it, with the weight of 1-2 books.
Rarity recieved traditional silk, a rare and expensive product,
Fluttershy got tea, tea and wing-blades.
Rainbow Dash got wing-blades as well, and a set of weights, she needed to train more, her softcore training she commited to, as hardcore training would be quote-unquote 'too hard to commit to', had ended with poor results.
As it stood currently, Scootaloo was the greatest mortal flying pony in all of Equestria.
I say 'mortal', because the princesses are better.
I say 'pony' because Xero is much faster, being a selfish asshole pays off when dealing with pure skill, but Scootaloo was just awesome.
Hell, the 12 year old could break the sound barrier in 5 seconds, which was insane acceleration, and could perform extremely accurate tricks at such speeds.
If the motto applied, 'the more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle', then the orange pegasus filly would burst from the force of extreme negative bleeding if she ever fought someone or something.
It all took positive thinking and determination, that, and a powerful controller circuit, turning anything useless into something useful.
Enough about Scoots's epic skills, more about everypony else.
Yeah. not much else to say, Hearth's Warming Day is over.
The 7 ponies, 1 man, and 1 dragon partied hard in the library, dancing and drinking and eating and even singing.
It was hell for anypony else, it was bliss for them.
AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH.
PARTY.
Derp.
*/chapter*
Author's Note
yeah, I tried, I mostly wrote this chapter when tired at night, and I'll upload it late at night too.
SOCKS
Eso si que es, it is what it is.
little to no secondary editing went into this, like all of my chapters.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The Heart is "Blue, but so is "Death", Part 1
Xero faced the room, which was full of maniacal beings.
Children.
Well, foals, but it was the same thing.
Scootaloo, bless her heart, had brought him for family appreciation day.
He was fucking it up.
He had started with a brief life-story, which quickly became a question fest.
"Okay, that's it, ENOUGH QUESTIONS!" Xero shouted, making the students stop immediately.
The tall-ish man sat down in the chair provided at the front, he summoned the Sephiroth and began going over every inch of the 15 foot long blade with a cleaning cloth.
"Let me start from the beginning, back on Earth, the planet of my people, I was forced to kill 2 people that I had been forced to deal with for a long time, after that, I escaped, running far away from that place, I ran far, wanting to separate myself from the place I despised as much as possible, I found a secret order, they trained me, I showed them humility, and they showed me the ways to not need such a thing, I was a ninja, a brimish ninja, maybe, but that didn't change anything." Xero started his rant, pausing to breathe.
"I did everything perfectly, from fighting, to stealing, to escaping, to hijacking, to, well, whatever I needed, I did it without flaw, because flaws are, well, it's shaped like itself, it's a flaw, an imperfection, something that tells you what you've done that's wrong, and helps you learn what to do that's right, anyways, I'm getting off track, so, I got shot in the head with a large calibur bullet, there's no putting it lightly, any way of saying that would still convey the same message, I died from a hole in my bloody head . When I woke up, I had forgotten everything prior to my escape from my hometown, I was given a choice, fight for a shady company doing advanced black-operation type missions alongside a nerdy demolitionist, a girl with insane laser powers, and a beast of a man wielding whatever gun he wanted to, or, I could take another bullet to the head, and die, but I wouldn't wake up from that death." Xero went on, opening the door to the school-house to allow the extremely long blade to be cleaned entirely.
"I chose the first, it was logical, I could handle just about anything. I was given set of tactical clothes, some blades, and was sent out to deal with problems. I, somehow, did everything even more perfectly, dodging bullets and cutting open bodies, it was, it felt, it felt amazing, under the ninjas, I was bound by honor, now, not so much, but still plenty of honor to keep me in check, that's not the point, the point was that I felt amazing. I was in better physical condition than I had ever been before, I did everything with ease, I even found myself, funny enough, I found myself yawning while beating somebody's head in, practically falling asleep as I sliced through bodies and broke bones, shedding blood everywhere, stepping over my enemies, I'd have to say, the 2 highest costs that MBORF, the company I worked for, had to deal with that were pertaining to me, were laundering clothes, and video games." Xero gave a laugh at his last statement.
"So, let me got on with it. Fast forward several months, I thought I could handle anything, I was wrong. One mistake, one flaw, in my team's mission, I could dodge bullets, yes, but I couldn't parry them from the air, because of my limits, and my human team member's delayed actions, 7 soldiers, SEVEN, died, fatal wounds, I felt so horrible, regretting the development so much, then, I stopped caring, as I did with many things, the next mission was my last as an MBORF distinguished soldier." Xero continued, he was getting close to the end of his sword.
"Long story short, we had to kill an alien, it was hostile and there was no chance of reasoning with it, so we had to kill it before our enemy, Bio. Int., killed us with it. One of our teammates died during that mission, but as it turned out, all 3 of the humans, myself, and our leader, Omega, as well as the demolitionist, Askad, were intended to die, and MBORF was surprised and quite impressed at our hardiness. Unfortunately, not enough to let us live, we were jailed for a week, given increasingly more poisonous food, the higher-ups hoped that because of our base needs, we would eat it and die, we defied them, he were more disciplined than to give up, we knew what they were trying to do, and we wouldn't allow them to do it, we survived, killed them all, and took what was rightfully ours, we escaped, we would have been free." Xero paused, taking a swig of peppermint wine from his personal flask, the cool liquid calming him, and quelling the fire of anger that was burning at his throat
"At least, we would have been free, but MBORF doesn't like their subjects escaping, but we got out, we would have been free if they didn't interfere even more than they already had, we had to fight a Luna-damned ARMY, they were weak, they could hardly hurt us, but their plan was to whittle us down to nothing, they thought they could drain us, the death of a thousand needles, as it is called, they threw themselves at us in waves, me and Omega-" Xero was interrupted.
"It would be 'Omega and I', Mister Xero." Cheerilee corrected.
"Me and Omega," Xero continued, flipping Cheerilee off before going back to cleaning the Sephiroth, "We fought, and fought, and fought, we were determined to either move mountains, or die trying, we killed them all, they were nothing more than cannon fodder, just more targets to hit, more bubbles to burst, they wanted us dead for the sole reason of being told to kill us, they were offered a prize for taking down the big bosses, they failed, they all failed, they thought it would be 2 shots and 2 deaths, it turned out to be blood-bath, then, we fought her..." Xero stopped, he dismissed the Sephiroth and stood up, he walked up to the chalkboard, the black surface was waiting to be written on.
He started drawing, 4 sticks of chalk at the same time, 1 in both hands, and 1 being held by each of his wings, he continued his long-ass story.
"Our former teammate, the one who almost killed us, then she turned us over to MBORF to be executed, even after killing an army with just the 2 of us, she still thought we would die easily, we didn't, we wouldn't, we fought for hours, she tried everything she could, we still wouldn't go down. Even through a second round with the army we killed, only reanimated, like zombies, and our old friend, Askad, in robot form, giving us a negligable chance to win, we took that chance, and we expanded it, we won... or... well.... at least... I won." Xero stopped for a second, his ;eft hand stopping the drawing to wipe a tear from his eye, he had never wanted to talk about what happened, never wanted to think about it, and in doing this, he had never gotten over it.
"I won, at least, Omega.... was a completely different case, after we had killed the alien, before it died, it infected him, and when Omega died, the infection took over, he killed her for me, and then almost killed me. Funny enough, I'm the sword guy, and he's the gun guy, and he was coming at me with a sword, I stopped him with a gun, I didn't shoot him, though, I came close, but his own mind fought the infection away, temporarily. It's pretty traumatizing when your only friend, the one you pretend to hate, and despise, and you act like you want to kill, but you never do, that special friend who's there for you in your darkest hours, the last words they say are a plead for you to kill them. However, I accepted the truth, I couldn't save him, so he had to die, or else the alien would take over again and he's kill me, we'd both be dead. So, I... killed him." Xero paused his drawing again to wipe away several tears.
"Luckily for me, this story has a happy ending, after that night, I gave my teammates a proper burial, and escaped, my team, and what was left of my ties with MBORF, were gone, I ran far, I took on a new identity, they would know who I was if I called myself Xero, there were plenty of British people living in America, so I blended in with little difficuly, I honed my skills, and learned everything that I had so foolishly thought to be useless. It took me many years, but I found myself knowing everything I needed, I found a little girl, no more than 2, abandoned, I took her in as my apprentice, and together, we grew as people, I learned compassion, and care, I was like a father to her, and she was like a daughter to me, she learned everything I knew, I helped her learn all along the way, from tying her shoes to stabbing someone in the neck, and many more. She was known as Enid, the last hope I had for taking down MBORF, as they were still looking for me. My story ends at me and Enid taking to the battlefield one last time, she lived, and I, well, I don't really know what happened, I got sucked into a void in space and time, and I ended up here, made young again and given a bit of weaponry, it wasn't hard, I had a fully charged battery and was fit enough, though I was pretty damn hungry and thirsty, taking down a manticore and eating it, drinking from a lake of water, I was energized, and I made my way along the treetops, finding Ponyville. The rest of the story is history." Xero concluded, still drawing with the chalk, but no longer crying.
"Right, well, any questions? If so, you have 3 seconds to ask." Xero requested.
"Ooh, ooh, Mister Xero." one of the little ponies blurted out.
"Yes?" Xero querried.
"Um, if you were Brimish, then, how did you learn to be a ninja without going to Japone?" the school-foal asked, apparently, they were the only one.
"Culture moves, kid, they came to Brimain, and they found me. Any more questions, you have another 3 seconds?" Xero answered.
"*ahem*, Zero." Diamond Tiara started.
"It's Xero, not Zero, and if you did that on purpose, that is so cheesy you could make a 2nd moon." Xero corrected.
"Whatever, how did you find Scootaloo? What, was she homeless or something?" DT laughed maliciously.
Xero stopped drawing altogether, he turned to face DT.
"I'm going to kill your parents and leave YOU homeless." Xero threatened immediately.
"Wow, that escalated quickly, I mean, that really got out of hoof fast." Scootaloo joked.
"Good one, sis, I'm leaving sayonara, foals." Xero dismissed himself, busting out a light and speeding away before anypony could do anything, throwing a dark bit to pay for whatever the school needed, repairs included.
Nopony could react, Xero's drawing left them speechless.
He had unknowingly used neon chalk, which almost glowed in the lowered light.
They were impressed at his artistic skill, and felt threatened at the 4 figures that seemingly stared at them.
<>
Xero, Ditzy, and Rainbow Dash were all working on the decorations to town hall.
Xero had learned 2 things, the clutzy blonde mailmare was named Ditzy, who liked muffins and was often called Derpy Hooves, which Xero thought was stupid, but then again, a name like Ditzy Doo was kinda ridiculous too.
The 2nd thing was that Ponyville was easy to inspire to party, or at least have a celebration, or whatever other thing that needed decorations, it was so common that the town hall itself had plastic screws and designated space to put up any decorations that were needed.
Rainbow Dash put a screw into place, hovering back to look at it, she narrowly dodged an errant bolt of lightning.
She looked at the end of her tail, which was now covered in ash, she looked to her offender, the gray mailmare who was bouncing happily on a storm cloud, unaware of the unintentional damage.
"Ugh, HEY, CAREFUL DERPY!" the cyan pegasus warned, flying up to face to the gray clutz.
"My name is Ditzy, not Derpy, okay, I'm a bit irritated that everypony keeps calling me that." Ditzy criticized, stopping her bouncing and (somehow) focusing her vision on the spectral maned mare in front of her.
"Okay, Ditzy , stop doing that, you're sending lightning everywhere and it's making a big mess of the place." RD explained, Ditzy looked saddened, she genuinely did not know about the damage she was causing.
At that moment, as if to escalate both pony's feelings, part of town-hall roof collapsed, Xero caught the pieces and righted them, repairing all of the damage in less than 9 seconds.
"Well, at least somebody works around here." the not-so-young-but-still-very-young man said cockily, gesturing to the rest of town-hall.
The whole thing had all of the decorations put up, Dash had only put up a single banner, Xero, ever the superiority fiend, set everything else up.
"Excellent work, Xero." Mayor Mare commended, her eyes filled with glee at the sight of an undamaged town-hall.
"Oi, nothin' to it." Xero dismissed, taking off, he had more important stuff to do.
Nopony reacted, they had learned enough to know that Xero tended to leave after the work was finished, especially fast when he completed it himself.
Flying through the sky, the tall-ish man spent a few hours training against clouds, keeping his skills fresh, making sure nothing went wrong, he kept this up for most of the day, if anypony needed him, they could find him easily enough.
Lucky for him, nopony needed him.
<>
Xero awoke to the sound of his window being crashed though.
"XEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!" it was Rainbow Dash.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT AT..." he paused and checked the time "4 IN THE BLOODY MORNING, ANSWER ME OR I'LL STAB YOU!" Xero demanded, the englishman was sufficiently pissed off.
"SELLING CIDER, SWEET APPLE ACRES, NOW, WE NEED TO HURRY!" Dash summarized.
"I see, and WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID SHITTY.... wait, did you say, cider?" the words only just now registered in his mind, cider was his second favorite drink in the world, first was tea, and third was wine.
"YES, COME ON!" Dash insisted, ripping the covers from Xero's body.
She did not consider the possibility that Xero would be naked.
He was.
"Usually I get a few bits, or a date, before this happens." Xero joked.
Rainbow Dash turned away instantly.
"Ugh, dude, just, put some clothes on." the cyan mare recommended.
"Well, I was just going to go out in public dressed in my birthday suit, but I guess I'll pass on that." Xero laughed, he grabbed RD around the waist.
The spectral maned mare was shocked silent, but her instant fears were relieved when she realized Xero was already clothed, and was now holding her against his chest.
"Hold on, it's going to be a ride." Xero warned, starting up his boost.
The pair zoomed off, Xero putting forth all the work for the duo, and still going Mach 5 speed.
Scootaloo trudged into the room sleepily, wearing a pale violet bathrobe, looking at the broken ice window.
"What was going on in here?" the orange young mare asked to no one in particular, picking up the magical condensator and fixing the window.
Trudging back into her room, she collapsed onto her bed and fell asleep again.
<>
Entering S.A.A. airspace in 1 or 2 seconds, Xero used the Dime Breaker to stop, using the spinning momentum to approach the ground.
The whole trip took 9 seconds.
Setting Rainbow Dash on the ground gently, the cyan mare had her tail tucked between her legs, she trembled for several seconds, shuddering in what was obviously fear, she opened her eyes, seeing there were a few hundred tents set up, she removed her tail from between her legs and trotted quickly, anxiously, to the front of the line.
Xero followed her, flipping off every single tent on the way, considering pissing in front of the entrances, but he decided against it.
It would have been funny though.
Coming upon the front of the line, the speedy duo found themselves facing a simple selling stand, with a pump, obviously for cider, the pair took their spot at the front of the line.
The apple family approached the stand, dozens of barrels of cider, destined to be sold and drank with friends or at least gusto.
Applejack rang the bell that signaled the start of cider selling season.
Many ponies exited their tents, the gaudy one up front contained Ponyville's party mare.
"Huh? Oh, HEY Dashie, HEY, uh.... Xero." Pinkie Pie looked down, trotting slowly to the stand.
She was not doing this out of some problem with being near Xero, no, the 2 were very close friends.
She was uncomfortable because she was unable to give him a good pet-name, or at least properly butcher his name without making him sound like a mare, because 'Xery' was out of the question.
"Hey Pinkie, what's up with all these camping fags." Xero querried, the gamer within him seethed in rage at the sight of so many tents.
"They're in line to get cider, obviously." Pinkie answered, bouncing in place.
Rainbow Dash trotted from the stand, happily holding 4 cups of cider, 1 on her back, 1 on each wing, and 1 in her hoof.
Xero was next, he bought 2, 1 for each hand.
Pinkie bought a Luna-damned pyramid of cups.
The trio happily stood off to the side, with Xero cutting him and RD in front of the line, RD didn't complain, so there was no issue with cider shortage, thus, those bastards Flim and Flam didn't have any footing when they showed up a couple of days later to brag about their machine.
"I'LL BUY IT!" Xero shouted at them, smacking them in face with 2 dark bits, kicking their sorry flanks the hell out of dodge and taking the intricate contraption for his own.
"And I'll sell it to the Apple Family for 1 bit." Xero announced, tossing several bits onto the counter and taking another mug of cider.
"Keep the change." he said suavely, gulping down the mug of cider with enthusiasm and almost ecstasy.
He flew off after returning the mug and flipping off the line.
Typical Xero.
<>
He sped to the hospital as fast as he possibly could.
After recieving a telepathic message from Twiliight, containing only a hoof-ful of words.
'Xero, Rainbow Dash has been injured, come quick'
He had decided to fly around the world, but that plan got pissed on by several factors, and Xero flew back to Ponyville at a mile a second, he approached the town, sped over it, and landed right inside the hospital, using the Dime Breaker to stop, and the Masamune plus his own strength to deny the spinning, dismissing the dark matter katana, he was at the front desk in a millisecond.
"Where is Rainbow Dash?" he demanded, not even so much as breaking a sweat.
"Room 314!" the startled mare at the front desk gave the information without hesitation.
Xero sped along the ceiling to the room.
He was on the ceiling for 3 reasons:
1; He could do that.
Stopping outside of the room, Xero almost broke it off of its hinges in the process of opening it.
"Rainbow Dash!" he yelled, the red aura cleared from his eyes enough to show him that a doctor was injecting her with some morphine.
"Xero!" RD happily greeted, wincing in pain briefly before the morphine kicked in, she felt instantly better.
"Excuse me, Mister Xero, tou need to leave, Miss Rainbow Dash needs time to heal, she broke both her wings, I'm sure you understand." the doctor said calmly.
"I think you should leave, out of that window." Xero spat, he did not tolerate bullshit like this.
"Sir, please, exit the room, and come back in a few minutes, if you can't do that yourself, I'll have to call security, this is a serious matter, broken wings." the doctor insisted.
"I'll kick each and every one of their flanks." Xero countered.
"Ugh, fine, you can stay, just sit over there for a minute while I do a final run through of the examination." the doctor complied, almost everypony in Ponyville knew better than to deny Xero something when he got to the threats of violence, jokes of violence, it was okay, but Xero always kept his word when he threatened violence upon his opponent.
The medical stallion spent another minute doing a full examination of RD's wings, feeling gently for all of the damage, he wrapped them up in bandages and sealed them off.
"Alright, Rainbow, you're all done, you'll need to stay in the hospital for at least a week, these damages are only slightly not-bad-enough to not recieve heavy treatment." the stallion explained.
"A WEEK? I'll be bored to tears, why do I have to stay for a WEEK?" Dash complained.
"Only those who pass the dexterity test can be released early, you didn't pass, the main reason is to keep the bandages secured so that your wings heal properly, and to keep the pain away." the doctor explained.
"*long groan* *sigh* Damnit, why me?" Dash grumbled in frustration.
"Well, look on the bright side." the doctor instructed.
"What bright side?" Dash querried, not sure where this would go.
"Well, except your wings, your free to move around, kinda, so if you feel the need to get up and strecth your legs, you're free to do so, but you can't leave this room." the doctor revealed.
"Aw man, well, I guess it's better than nothing." Dash was saddened that she couldn't leave.
The doctor quickly trotted out of the room to tend to more patients.
"Well, I guess I could give you this." Xero said, he brought forth a stack of large books.
"What the fuck, dude?" Dash was confused.
"I wrote all of these, yep, all of them, it's all mine." Xero was lying through his teeth, he merely copied the books.
Setting them down on the bedside table, he allowed RD to read the cover.
"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone?" the cyan mare read the title off.
"Also the Chamber of Secrets, the Prisoner of Azkaban, the Goblet of Fire, the Order of the Phoenix, the Half-Blood Prince, and the Deathly Hallows." Xero listed off the titles.
These books had meant a lot to him, he had copied every single word of every single page of every single book, and now, that information would be given to the masses of Equestria.
"Wow, that's a lot of stuff." Dash stated the obvious.
"RIght, well, sorry I can't stay and chat, but I need to instruct the Equestria Army on proper armaments." Xero dismissed himself.
"Oh, well, see ya late-" Dash was cut off by something.
Xero had kissed her.
Granted, it was on the cheek, and it was about 99% likely made in goodbye, but it was still a kiss.
"Don't piss off the people taking care of you." Xero warned humorously, exiting the room.
Dash felt the spot where Xero kissed her, it was damp, she held her hoof on the spot for a long period of time.
She was shocked out of her stupor when the other 5 of the Mane 6 entered the room and crowded around her.
"Dashie!" Pinkie gasped, getting really close to her spectral maned friend.
"AH!" RD cried out in suprise, she put one foreleg in front of herself for protection.
"We heard about what happened, it's terrible." Twilight informed.
"Why d'ya have yer hoof on yer face like that?" Applejack querried suddenly.
"Huh?" Dash didn't realize it, but her hoof had stayed on the spot that Xero kissed her on, so much time had passed that the moisture had dried,causing her hoof to stick slightly, taking a bit of effort to remove.
"Oh, I didn't notice that." the speedy pegasus tried to dismiss the oddity.
"How long will you be holed up in here, darling?" Rarity asked politely.
"It's gonna be about a week before the healing is stable enough to let me go, and even then, I'll need a place to stay for a while, I'll manage something, though." RD answered.
"Did you really break both of your wings, um, if you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy asked, hiding behind her mane like she had done thousands of times before.
"Yeah, I was going at almost sonic speeds when I lost control and crashed, like I said, it'll be at least a week before I can even leave, and even then, I won't be able to fly for about a month, don't want to agitate the damage." Dash responded, sighing in defeat.
"Is there anything we can get you?" Twilight querried.
"Eh, not right now, maybe later." the spectral maned pony replied simply.
"Oh, okay, well, if you need anything, just tell us, we'll be visiting a few times a day." Twilight informed, trotting out of the room.
The other 4 left in a similar fashion, assurances and departures from each of them.
"Don't worry Dashie, I heard hospitals are fun!" Pinkie tried to lighten the mood.
The cyan mare sighed in exasperation, she facehoofed several times, she was still hating the fact that she had to stay here.
Looking to the stack of colorfully colored books, she wondered if any of the lived up to their dangerous sounding titles.
"Well, I have nothing better to do, might as well." she accepted her fate, picking up the first of the books and opening it.
She read, and read, and read.
It was highly immersive.
Each and every one of the terms were easy to follow, with their explanations.
The beginning was always the best place to start.
She kept reading for hours.
Her senses dulled, diverting their potency to put her in a higher state of mind, she was interrupted by the book being gently lowered.
"Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy greeted merrily, always happy to see her long time friend at any time or place.
"Fluttershy, hey, what's up?" Dash was still recovering from the flood of mind power to her senses again.
"How've you been for the past 8 hours?" the butter yellow pegasus asked sweetly.
"I've been alrig-wait, 8 HOURS?" Dash was in awe, how had so much time passed?
"Yes, we first came to see you at 10 in the morning, you were admitted at 9 o'clock, it's 6 in the afternoon now, Applejack came by at noon, Rarity came by at 2:30pm, and Twilight or Pinkie will be here at 8 o'clock." the normally quiet-as-a-church-mouse mare answered, her voice carried much more power than before.
"I, I didn't even notice AJ or Rare, what did they do?" Rainbow Dash was confused at the event that had apparently gone by without attention.
"They stayed for a minute and left, seeing there was nothing you were doing or requesting." the pink maned pegasus revealed.
"Oh, I had no idea." the cyan pegasus said, she regretted not acknowledging her friends.
"Yeah, but, well, I haven't been able to talk to you recently, so I actually did something to get your attention." Fluttershy admitted.
Xero's presence had affected everypony, his own chemical make-up permeated the normally pure arcanosphere, which was directly linked to the biosphere, the magic was present in all things, taking as many forms as things that exist.
Fluttershy had become considerably less quiet and meek, though she was still below average speaking volume when talking normally, she was about 4 times less quiet than she was before.
Rainbow Dash was more aggressive to her enemies, but still lazy.
"Oh, well, sure, let's talk." RD accepted, getting back into a more comfortable sitting position.
Like that, the pair conversed for about an hour before somepony else entered.
It was a doctor, coming in to adjust the bandages and give another dose of analgesics.
It was Doctor Stable, the gruff, mean, cold hearted stallion who often took to pissing all over the hippocratic oath to fix ponies up.
He also had an addiction to anti-arthritis medication and making pessimistically optimistic remarks, along with other bad jokes.
Removing the bandages, the stallion opened his mouth to speak, the stench of sulfur and alcohol heavy in his breath, he loved to give a 'fuck you' to medical etiquette, mixing pills with alcohol.
"Hey, remember this Rainbow Dash, at least it isn't lupus." he cracked up at the confusing-if-not-in-the-field-of-study joke, it was either that, or a personal humor, with this guy, there was no telling.
"Yeah yeah, just get it over with." the cyan mare replied to the mal-dressed-but-nopony-gives-a-fuck-because-he's-too-respected medical professional.
"You should know that I keep a bone-saw in my hoodie, just for patients like you." Doctor Stable replied, his tone was even more negative than usual.
To prove himself, despite the lack of doubt, he brandished the sharp, fine edged tool, its entirety was made of steel, an invention that became publicly available in Equestria less than 10 years ago, the teeth and some of the body of the cutting device had dried blood on it, only kept on there to keep out the air and remind mis-behavers of its ability.
Rainbow Dash gulped in fear, though she didn't make it obvious.
Finishing up with the bandaging, Doctor Stable begrudgingly injected the analgesics into the temporarily-disabled mare, 2 shots for each wing, 1 in the nerve teminal for the primary feathers, and 1 in the nerve terminal for the secondary feathers.
Wings were more complex than most ponies, even pegasi themselves realized, the feather tendons were extremely flexible, and the entirety of wings themselves held at least a thousand nerve endings, even more if the pony was either an alicorn or just had big wings.
The feathers were connected to the nerves like hairs, so even they could feel things, this also gave the wings different... stuff, feather fractures, wing-boners, stuff like that, physical stuff.
The hoodie clad stallion injected all 4 shots, the pain that had begun to flare up in full force was extinguished by the analgesic liquid, RD sighed in relief.
"Thanks, doc." Dash said to the stallion, who was about to leave.
"Don't thank me." Stable replied, that was the end of his sentence, most ponies would continue by telling their conversational partner to thank another being or force, but not Stable, he simply requested to not be thanked.
Dash looked back at her yellow friend, who was standing a meter off to the side.
"Well, I'd best get going, it's a bit late and I need to feed the animals, I'll see you tomorrow Dash." Fluttershy dismissed herself, closing the door gently behind her.
"Alright, bye Shy." Dash said back to the departing mare.
Realizing she had unintentionally rhymed, she made a throat cutting motion to herself.
"Ugh, rhymes, they suck." she had gotten that from, guess who.
Xero, the brit hated rhyming when he was not trying to, it was just something he hated for no specific reason, like cake, or Omega.
Omega.
<>
Xero wondered about Omega, did the older, at one point younger than Xero, as Omega had died at 25, and Xero had lived to be 90, but Xero's body had been reverted to its youthful, healthy form, anyways, did the older man end up in some form of hell?
Did he kick the reaper's ass and take over as the master of death?
That wouldn't be very surprising, at least in Xero's humble opinion.
Did he end up like he had so un-eloquently explained to Xero the concept of the Navy Seals dying, "Seals don't die, they go to hell and regroup.".
Again, not surprising to Xero.
Did he get reincarnated or some shit?
Xero briefly wondered if anyone he had interacted with or seen in his 71 years of somewhat free life had actually been Omega in a different body.
Did he died?
He did.
Or maybe, he may have ended up like Xero, landing in a world like Equestria, forced to survive, to be diplomatic with the natives, assuming that there even were natives where Omega possibly ended up.
Maybe the tall, heavy-weight, Super-'murican man was not just in a world like Equestria, he was actually in EQUESTRIA ITSELF!
Xero took off as fast as he could, he would scour the world for his old-time companion, even if that meant doing stuff like temporarily abandoning his friends, he would happily do that just for a conversation with the red man.
Speeding wherever he faced, Xero accepted the challenge.
It was sunday, a new week for 40 hours of work.
Xero was finished by tuesday noon, if he were a farmer, he would have come back on a tractor and put in another 72 hours.
He wasn't a farmer though, he was a brit, and a ninja, and a soldier, he had pistol-whipped the armament manager of the Equestrian Military in the face for their stupidity.
Long story short, the E.M. didn't even have enough weapons to give every single soldier 1.
Total amount of weapons < Total amount of soldiers.
Xero had red-faced raged and almost beat the pony's head in, instead, he beat bars of steel into swords, he made too many to count in an hour, several a minutes, heating them to the right temperature with rage and advanced technology, shaping them into blades and tangs with well calculated strikes of an automated hammer, wrapping the grips up tighter than a nun's asshole eating warhead candies in winter.
He had supplied the E.M. with enough weapons to give each soldier 4, doing all of the work, making several different types of weapons, all in 1 day.
Less than 10 hours, and the whole military could be armed.
Xero did not fuck around when it came down to it, he worked fast and efficiently, not stopping for 10 whole hours.
He did his Luna-damned job, and he did it perfectly.
At least a million bits went into building repairs when he decided to make the axes capable of cutting through the wood that the ceiling was made of, and when he made the maces able to break through stuff like the building walls.
And what better way to test that than on the building itself, he was already there, and it was all repairable.
Let's just say, Xero did his duty, and Equestria could probably defend itself if it needed.
But right now, Xero was scouring the whole planet, even the ocean and caves, the mountains and deserts, everything.
Omega was nowhere to be found.
Xero cursed the powers that be for that fact, he had spent almost 2 days looking around the WHOLE FUCKING PLANET for his marksman ally, and he wasn't there.
At least Xero knew that the ponies were safe, if Omega had ended up in Equestria, he would probably do some freaky mutilation torture/genocide in his first few days.
Xero couldn't really judge, if Omega had ended up in some alternate Equestria, he would probably think that Xero would kill everypony and swear like a sailor all the while.
Returning to Ponyville, it had been 4 days since RD's crash, Xero looked over his calender to confirm this.
He saw it.
He had loaded the calender with not only all of the days, but the holidays as well.
It was wednesday, and friday was Hearts and Hooves Day.
The day of... well... exactly what it says on the tin, Hearts and Hooves.
Love and shit like that.
Xero knew it was time to make his move.
<>
He had a case of 'no balls' when it came to speaking his thought, even when he was practicing.
He wrote it down instead.
Thou art like a nightingale in the morning.
Oh how do I love thee, let me count the ways;
1: Thy beauty is more than that of the sky, the infinite blue, I dare say thou art more beautiful than something infinite. 2: Thy personality is like my own, but where the resemblance stops, the glorious differences begin, thou art as beautiful on the inside as thou art on the outside. 3: You make me wanna shout 'I don't feel like speaking like a posh, old-timey Britishman.' 4: I love you. 5: So, let's give it a shot, wadda ya say? 6: Yes = smile. 7: No = ten consecutive standing backflips, no wings allowed, followed by a smile anyways. 8: You should realize that an attempt at nswering 'no' will still result in answering 'yes' 9: ???? 10: Profit.
Rainbow Dash read the letter, almost laughing at the jokes, she felt all of her emotions warring with one another, she didn't know what to say.
'Oh, wait, smile.' she thought.
She smiled at the bluish-black-with-white-highlights haired man.
Xero kissed her again.
It was one of love, there was no doubt, she kissed him back.
They embraced, for the sole purpose of getting closer physically as they were becoming closer emotionally.
The kiss went on for several minutes.
The pair only stopped to breathe, gasping and sputtering, taking in the cool air of the room by the mouthful.
"Wow..." Dash managed to gasp out inbetween her heavy breaths.
"Yeah..." Xero wasn't nearly as breathless, his body, under the management and regulation of technology, recovered in nary a fraction of the time of somebody who did not have the privelege of the highly efficient system.
They stared into eachother's eyes, well, at least Xero did, Dash stared into what she guessed was the area where his eyes were.
They were together.
Things were fine.
<>
Things were NOT fine, NOT FINE AT ALL.
Shit had gotten real, went down, and hit the fan, in that order.
Long story short, I decided to skip a couple of episodes.
Why?
Three things:
1: Because of Reasons.
Now that you have been so eloquently informed of what has compelled me, onto the show again.
Dragons, motherfucker.
Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Rarity went to go recover Spike from his rage-quit.
The young dragon returned easily enough.
The problem was the other dragons.
"You're not leaving alive." a red, buff teenage sounding dragon threatened.
*BOOM*
"You took the words right out of my mouth." Xero came into the scene with force.
"Xero? How did you find us? Or know that we were in trouble?" the three mares were confused by his sudden presence.
"I sensed my marefriend was in danger, and like a good boyfriend, I came to her rescue." Xero revealed.
"I don't need rescuing." RD argued.
"These, these ARE, *ahem* LUNA-DAMNED MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY-ASS BAT-SHITTING DRAGONS!" Xero countered, effectively light RD's argument on fire and pissing it out, cremating the remains and throwing them to the wind.
The ponies and good dragon hauled their collective asses out of there.
Xero slayed the dragons like a true Britishman/Japanese Guy.
Mutilation with a sword.
He loved it, the rushing feeling of murder.
Calming himself again, he departed from the scene.
He needed a drink.
<>
Waking up groggily, Xero found that he was in his pony form, probably just to take more booze, his mouth was sticky, his head was in pain, not pounding, just a headache, he needed fluids.
Turning his head slowly to the side, he looked at the mirror, his pony form was the same.
The same bluish-black-with-white-highlights mane, the long ponytail turned into a literal pony tail, light grey coat, blue-green eyes, fine pony teeth, the roman numeral looking X for a cutie mark.
He realized something was wrong, he could smell something like fruits and cinnamon, looking closer at the mirror, and then at his own hooves, he realized what was wrong.
He had either grown an extra set of legs, or he fell asleep during or after some rutting.
And the extra set of legs would be light grey, not cyan.
He realized what exactly happened.
He and Rainbow Dash had been having sex, to the point of unconsciousness.
Prying himself off of his marefriend, Xero stood slowly, he felt dehydrated, from a mixture of alcohol and activities.
Walking slowly into the kitchen, he poured a large glass of cold water for himself, with some extracts and juices from some healthy shit that would cure his hangover very quickly.
Feeling about a few dozen times better, he trotted back up the stairway and to his room again.
Entering his room, he found his lover slowly waking up.
"Hey there, sleeping beauty." he greeted warmly.
Dash groggily turned to see him standing there and smiling.
"Huh.... what?" she was still half asleep, but something about seeing her lover in pony form was a staple that held her in consciousness.
"I got something for your hangover." Xero could tell she had one from the way she woke up, slow and pained.
"Uuuuh, thanks." she managed to get into a more vertical sitting position and slowly reached over to the glass.
She graciously accepted the glass, while only half full, it still helped, she took slow, long gulps of the infused water, it cut through the fog that clouded her mind, distorted her perception, and tried to drag her back down into sleep.
"Aaaaaah, much better." the cyan pegasus said, draining the glass to the last drop, attempting to get into a standing position.
She collapsed again, though this time she was sitting on her haunches, which were quite a bit sore.
"Ugh, what happened last night." Dash querried, rubbing her head to try to coax the memories back.
"Do you want the long version or the short version? Well, basically, drinking some liquor to calm ourselves about the water-to-Cloudsdale thing, and then we fucked like bunnies." Xero explained concisely.
"What? That makes no sense, what's the long version?" the spectral maned mare was so confused that she didn't even pay attention to everything that Xero had said.
"That was the long version, the short version is; Stress solved with booze and sex." Xero explained very briefly.
"Oh, that... makes.... sense." Dash was still processing everything, her mind was already rebooting, when it finally clicked, she blushed.
"I see you figured it out, good for you, but come on, we should get to that thing with the moving the water to Cloudsdale." Xero directed, turning back into human form and picking the cyan pony up and holding her tightly, he flew at Mach 5 speed to the site of the water lifting thing.
<>
Coming upon the site, he used his usual techniques and devices to stop exactly at that point.
The Dark Ice (sapphire knife) and the Emperor's Demise (iridescent knife), as well as the Angel Blade gave him significant boosts to perception, to the point of everything else being in slow-mo.
Because of this, the stopping process was a lot easier than before.
Landing gracefully, he and RD looked around.
Several ponies were already there, and more were coming, the water lifting thing was still about 20 minutes away.
Twilight had set up a giant anenometer, the Wonderbolt female captain Spitfire was idly chatting with the lavender unicorn.
Xero equipped the Satan's Executer, his 6 eyed visor/power mask.
Stretching, as he hadn't done so at his usual time of 'a minute after whatever time I decide to wake up', he saw Dash almost prancing over to the yellow and purple pair of ponies.
Paying no mind to it, he continued his stretches, deciding to limber up completely.
He heard giggling, very girlish giggling, he looked around, spotting the now-trio of ponies stealing glances his way.
They all looked at him, when they noticed his terrible mask was looking their way, they all just gave little waves.
Xero decided to be in good spirit about it, dismissing the mask and and giving a little wave back at them.
They almost exploded in laughter, he chose to ignore them, continuing his limbering process.
Many minutes passed, soon enough, all the pegasi in Ponyville were at the site, getting their own warm-ups going.
Xero finally decided to enter the conversation.
"Hello chapettes, how are you doing on this fine Equestrian day." Xero went full Brit on them.
I suppose I ought to explain, he kept his accent suppressed for the sole purpose of staying incognito, a British accent was very suspicious in, say, the middle east, or something, but here in Equestria, he could essentially do whatever he wanted.
Nopony, not even the 'high and mighty' Princess Celestia could stop him, if he decided to go evil, nothing would survive, he was easily the greedier and more dark-minded between him and Omega.
He didn't go berzerk because he didn't feel like it.
"Hey, you're Xero, right?" Spitfire greeted, she sounded very laid back and relaxed.
"Yeah, how'd you guess, was it my rugged good looks or the fact that I'm the only human on the face of the planet." Xero replied.
"Still cocky as always, eh Xero?" Twilight joked.
"I prefer the phrase 'properly self-measured', Twilight." Xero answered the rhetorical question.
"Right, well, come on, we need to do this water lifting thing." Rainbow Dash insisted, pushing Xero to the front of the crowd of pegasi and standing next to him.
"ALRIGHT PONIES, LISTEN UP!" she shouted to the crowd, instantly gaining everypony's collective attention.
"WE NEED TO LIFT THIS WATER ALL THE WAY TO CLOUDSDALE, NOT JUST THAT, BUT OUR WINGPOWER GOAL IS 1000, THAT'S ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO, WE CAN DO THIS, COME ON!" Rainbow Dash hyped the crowd up.
"Um, Rainbow Dash, there's a problem here." Twilight metaphorically shat on her cyan friends morale.
"Ah shit, what is it?" Dash braced herself.
"A total of 12 of your top fliers, each with scores about 11-13, are all incapacitated, they can't fly because of the feather flu." Twilight explained, metaphorically pissing on top of the shit that was threatening to completely break RD's morale.
"WHAT? 12? But, that's like, a lot of wingpower GONE!" Dash was on the verge of hyperventilation, she had just had a pleasant conversation with Spitfire and even bragged about not only her closeness to Equestria's only human, but about her inevitable success.
"It gets worse, you see, with 1 or 2 missing, and we could have still broken the record, but, with 12 gone, I'm afraid we might not even be able to lift the water to Cloudsdale." Twilight cast the straw that broke the camel's back, Dash was in full blown panic.
"This can't be happening, I can deal with not being able to break the record, but THIS? This is a disaster." the spectral maned mare was breathing heavily, getting light headed.
"Dashie," Xero got in front of his marefriend, grabbing her by the sides of the face and shaking her "CALM YOUR BLOODY TITS! We can do this, I can help." Xero shouted, luckily out of hearing range of everypony else, as that phrase was less-than-reputable.
"AAAAHHH, okay, whew, alright, we can do this, with everypony, myself, and you, we can do this." Dash calmed down greatly, standing with confidence, she took to the air, getting back into her announcer voice.
"ALRIGHT EVERYPONY, WE'RE MISSING A FEW PEGASI DUE TO ILLNESS, BUT WE CAN STILL DO THIS! IT'S TIME TO START THIS LIFT!" she proclaimed, everypony was hyped up and rearing to go.
With all of the pegasi in the air, the group began the tornado formation that would lift the water all the way from out of the reservoir to the weather factory in Cloudsdale.
It was a slowish start, but the speed picked up quick, the tornado was working, maybe, just maybe, with everypony helping, they could do this.
Xero was barely trying, the speed of the tornado was nothing compared to what he could do, he decided to speed up.
The sudden increase of force almost sent the tornado of ponies out of balance, but it didn't, Xero decided to do the most bone-breakingly stupid thing he had ever done.
He was going to do this at Mach 5 speed.
Flying out of the mix, far into the sky, he broke the sound barrier, and flew back, the power of the blast turned day to night to day for several seconds, luckily the tornado did not break in that time.
He flew back, at Mach 5 speed, he entered the tornado again, turning it into the land equivalent of a high grade hurricane.
The water blasted into the sky, landing perfectly in the weather factory's rain container.
The ponies steadily broke off from the formation, soon only Xero was left.
The tallish man slowed down, but, when he looked at the weather factory, spotting a bit of darkness from the rainbow sector's workers, he lost balance.
Going into the air at 1000mph, Xero almost blacked out at the uncontrolled force.
Going several miles into the air, his ascent stopped.
He descended.
Going faster and faster, reaching terminal velocity in 9 seconds, he fell.
And fell.
And fell.
And landed.
He blacked out, managing to slow himself enough to not die, and even though he equipped the Power armor, he was still knocked into unconsciousness.
He felt something tugging his mind away from the land of Equestria.
<>
Xero rose to find himself on a battlefield, the ground was white, he stood, and saw...
"Xero?" Omega querried.
"Omega?" Xero querried back, he looked Omega up and down, his hair was a slightly lighter shade of red, but his attire was what caught Xero's eye, the yellow eyed visor, the red shirt, the metal collar plate necklace thing, the mouth covering, the boots and gloves were Omega's own, the heavy metal gauntlets with attached guns, it was obvious.
Omega was wearing a re-colored version of Xero's armor, and Xero was wearing a re-colored version of Omega's armor.
"You COPYING BASTARD." Xero shouted, charging at Omega, he didn't know why he was so pissed off, but he couldn't control himself..
But even with Xero's enhanced strength, he was no match for Omega's normal strength, the enhanced reflexes from Omega's copy of the Speed suit must have helped too.
"You're really getting mad about this?" Omega skepticised, Xero knew that Omega knew that this was ridiculous.
"Fuck you." Xero stated, jumping away, still very nimble even in the heavy-ass Power armor.
"How'd we get here?" Omega questioned, looking around, the sky was red, but the ground was white, the only hint of color was shadows of bumps and other stuff on the ground.
Xero stared at Omega, when the red clad man noticed, he used a red magical aura to summon a cigarette.
"I don't know, if we got here the same way, then we probably stayed in Equestria for about 20 months, got to dating on Hearts and Hooves day, and just yesterday, lost our virginities to our marefriends." Xero proposed the theory.
He hoped this was the same for Omega, though the younger man was lying about his own virginity, he had lost that long ago, when Kary took advantage of his bound body before the escape.
"Uh huh, so, um, yeah, that did happen, so, who's your marefriend in your Equestria?" Omega asked, trying to make small talk.
"She's none of your bitch-ass business, but if you must know, it's Dashie." Xero revealed, he didn't really want to act like an asshole, but Omega did change the subject too fast..
"I see, I'm with Twily." Omega responded.
"Wow, really? Nice catch man. Anyways, any last words? I can feel some mouth to mouth resuscitation going on, so our time talking will be cut short." Xero congratulated, he knew Twilight must know all the tricks, though she probably lacked any of the experience.
"Yeah, how'd you get a copy of my armor? You never did any science shit, and I doubt you just 'made it from memory'." Omega asked, Xero was almost offended at this doubt of his intelligence, but he had to admit that he didn't act very intelligent in his youth.
"I grew up man, I moved on, I learned, I got an apprentice, Enid, she has skills man, take 3/5ths of us, and change the Y chromosome to another X, and you have Enid, but the point is, is that I learned man, I'm happy to see you again though, it was great to be able to talk to you again, if only for a little while." Xero explained, feeling pride at the analyzation of what all he had done in his life.
"It was nice to see you too man, listen, I've got to get back to the ponies, and Scoots." Omega said, Xero felt lighter.
"Sister?" Xero asked, trying to stay in this area as long as possible.
"Yeah, what, same with you?" Omega asked back.
"Yeah, well, this is goodbye." Xero said, he felt regretful that he could not stay longer, fading away.
"Bye, friend." Omega said, he was fading as well.
"Tch, fuck you." Xero said in his final words, he didn't like leaving so soon, he had so many loose ends to tie up.
"Fuck you too." Omega responded, Xero barely heard it, by the time Omega finished his short sentence, Xero was already gone.
Fading from the area, Xero returned to the conscious world.
<>
The bluish-black-with-white-highlights haired man found himself being mouth-to-mouth rescucitated, by Rainbow Dash, of course.
He grabbed her head and pulled her in close, kissing her hard.
Separating the her from his face, Xero stood up, putting a hand to his head.
"You know, you're only supposed to do that when somebody is drowning , right?" he gave a cheeky smile.
"Yeah, I know." the spectral maned mare replied with her own cheeky smile.
"And the water is all gone." Xero continued, his cheeky smile was reaching cheshire cat levels.
"Yeah, no water stopping you from breathing, your welcome." RD smiled wider as well.
"Well, thank you for saving my life, I suppose a reward is in order." Xero was being completely sarcastic, he kissed her again.
It was a peaceful moment.
"Wow, nice work Rainbow Dash, you broke the record and saved a life." Spitfire congratulated, not aware of the fact that Xero had not actually been dying.
"Yeah, I did, it's nothing, just doing my job." Dash didn't let her sarcasm show, dismissing the compliment.
"Well, I'll be sure to pay extra attention to you record when I get to it." the fiery maned mare replied.
"When... you.... get to it?" Dash was confused at this revelation.
"Dash, I'm only 1 pony, and while Soarin' is just as high on the chain as I am, I'm the one who goes through the records, I don't get much time each week to go through them, and they're in alphabetical order, so R is pretty late on the list, like I said, it'll take a while, but it won't be too hard to get in for you." the yellow pegasus explained.
"Oh, I see, alphabetical order, my long-time enemy." Dash hated the ordering system, it always favored everypony but her, it seemed.
"Right, well, like I said, good job, I would love to stay and chat but I have more productive things to do at the moment." Spitfire dimissed herself, flaring her wings out and flying away.
"Well, that was cool." Xero said, walking away as well.
Rainbow Dash flew away from the scene as well.
Xero walked all the way to Ponyville, before he could cross the threshold, Scootaloo swooped down in front of him.
"Hey bro, did ya see me helping out with the tornado?" the young mare asked cheerily.
"Yeah, I did, you were great, but personally, I think that you, me, and Dashie could have done it all by ourselves." Xero revealed, he was being honest.
"You really think so?" Scootaloo was happy at the praises from her older and wiser sibling.
"Hell to the yes, come on, you can do the Sonic Starboom in 5 seconds, I can go at Mach 5 speed, and Dashie is the only other pony I know who has the skills and power to break the sound barrier, we could easily get that water up there." Xero assured.
"Awesome, hey, have you by any chance seen Sweetie Belle and/or Applebloom recently?" the orange pegasus querried, she wanted to spend some time with her friends.
"Yeah, I think so, they were at that clubhouse thing that you 3 have, I saw it when I was putting some distance between me and the site of the water lifting thing so I could safely do the Sonic X-Boom." Xero recalled the snippet of information.
"Thanks bro." the violet maned pony lilted, giving her brother a quick hug and flying off to see her friends.
Xero watched her fly away, he felt pride swell up inside him, he had helped his sister grow into a better pony, not only much more healthy and warm spirited, but more confident and a really damn good flier too, he jumped onto the rooftops and did some parkour, he trained his skills, metaphorically coating them in WD-40.
Things were good.
Peace, happiness, love, and above all.
Harmony.
Xero still clung to his old life though, he didn't want to let go of the memories.
He wanted to never forget.
Never forget.
<>
Scootaloo flew through the air, landing gracefully in the clearing where the CMC clubhouse was, it looked renovated, probably Applebloom's doing, she entered to see her friends, who turned to look at her.
"Hey girls, what's going o-" Scootaloo stopped and stared.
Her best friends, they had their cutie marks.
THEY HAD THEIR CUTIE MARKS!
Sweetie Belle's was a pair of, well, bells, the same colors as her mane, they were tied around the neck of a big, fat, light gray songbird, which had a note-line-set coming from its open beak, the set stretched all the way down Sweetie's hind leg, stopping a few inches from her hooves.
Appleblooms was an apple with a hammer and a saw crossed over it, a paint brush had painted half of the red apple green, and a bucket of paint was tilted over, spilling a depiction of a wave of paint down Applebloom's hind leg, stopping a few inches from her hooves.
"You got your CUTIE MARKS." Scootaloo stated the obvious.
"Well, duh." Applebloom replied casually.
"I mean, like, HOW, and WHEN, and WHAT?" Scootaloo querried, vague but understood.
"I was practicing my singing with some bells, and a big ol' songbird joined me, it was then that I realized that my talent was my beautiful singing." Sweetie explained.
"For me, I was, well, I was renovating the place, nails and hammer, wood and saw, some apples to eat and some paint to make it look pretty, and when I looked at it all, I realized I was a really good all-around builder." Applebloom explained.
"That, is, SO AWESOME!" Scootaloo did the 'why wub woo' face.
"Heh, yeah." the yellow and white fillies responded simultaneously.
The close friends shared a three way hug, they were no longer the Cutie Mark Crusaders, no.
They were the Neopolitan Maidens, because I haven't been able to come up with a better name since OPHL.
The name works well enough, right?
Neopolitan, referring to the ice cream, is 3 different flavors together, no boundaries, just 3 flavors, being together.
Maidens, referring to women, females, and these 3 are females.
So it makes sense, or at least it should.
They had their cutie marks, they were happy, this was a happy moment.
This was a really happy moment.
<>
Xero faced his prey, the one thing he had purposefully kept himself from, just to keep his body healthy and desirable.
A sandwich, with meat in it.
He had gone completely vegetarian for the past almost 2 years, he had needed to detox, that took way too long, so now he was going to eat this.
Taking a bite of the delicious BLT, he reveled in the taste.
He was doing this because he going to a picnic, with all 6 of the Mane 6, as well as his little sister and her friends.
He needed something besides the lord to give him the strength.
He gave a quick prayer.
"Lord, give me the patience, because if you give me strength, I'll need bail money too." he requested.
"Well, Lady, Lady Luna, the glorious, majestic, highness Princess of the Night." he corrected himself.
Taking an assassin style leap of faith from the porch, he fell 900 of the 1000 feet to the ground, flaring out his immensely strong wings, he glided all the way to the picnic site.
Things were great, life was peaceful, everything was just fine.
Xero knew that was a lie.
It was a lie, because;
If life was so great, peaceful, and fine...
Then what is up with that strange purple-ish forcefield around Canterlot?
Author's Note
I REALLY like the idea of the CMC, having worked so hard, getting really fucking awesome cutie marks, and a legger cutie mark (a cutie mark that extends down the hind leg, usually stopping a few inches from the hooves or the ground) is really rare, and a sign of an extreme level of skill.
So if the Mane 6 had them, Twilight would have sparkles running down her leg, RD would have the tri-color lightning bolt running down her leg, Rarity would have large gems up top, then smaller and smaller as they went down, Pinkie Pie would have the balloon strings running down, Fluttershy would have butterflies going down her leg, and Applejack would have, similar to Rarity, large apples up top, then smaller and smaller as they go down her leg.
Sorry for the delays, but I hope that this chapter being extra long makes up for that.
I <3 you all, byeeeeee.
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The Heart is "Blue, but so is "Death", Part 2
Xero touched down at the site of the picnic, closing his wings and walking up to the giant blanket-type thing that picnics usually take place on, he sat down near Rainbow Dash and the CMC.
He looked over all the food, he saw a large plate of fries, but of course, since he was British...
"Oi, Pinkie, be a dearie and pass me the chips." Xero requested in full british accent.
"Okie dokie lokie!" the all pink mare replied, tossing over a bag of potato chips.
"No no no, not the crisps, the chips." Xero corrected, tossing the bag back.
"Oh, right, Brimish, here ya go." Pinkie tossed over the (enter non-denominational term for fried potato stick things here).
"Thanks." Xero replied, muching on the fried potato sticks, causing his two ponies of choice to laugh.
They kept laughing, he swallowed the chewed up potato-ey mush, and looked to both of them
"Oi, U wot M8? R U 'avin a giggle ther M8? I'll rek U cunt, swar on me mum, I'll bash yer fookin head in, u better shut ur mouth u cheeky cunt swer to Luna I'll hook u in the gabber M8." Xero joked, the phrases were basically the british equivalent of ghetto.
The black clad man rubbed his now greasy fingers in both of their manes.
"Ew heeeey." the 2 pegasi complained, swatting away his dirty hands.
"Just kidding ladies, I love ya both, c'mere." he assured, cleaning his hands with a convenient bit of technology.
He pulled them both close, earning a another, shorter complaint, before they both gave in.
He had his lovely marefriend, his adorable little sister, and lots of good friends.
Life was peaceful.
Xero had a blade ready for the throat of whatever threatened that.
At that moment, Spike ran up to the scene, huffing and puffing, and with dragon breath, he could easily blow a house down.
"Twi-*huff*-light *huff huff huff* I have *huff* a *huff* letter *huff huff* for *huff huff huff*" he didn't finish his sentence as his lungs were forced empty by a puff of magical fire, the small dragon collapsed, still heavily breathing but somewhat more even.
"Hmm? Let's see, dear Twilight, I am writing to you about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot, ooh, I wonder who's getting married, okay, let's see, I am tasking each of you, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, with assistance with the wedding preparations, open parentheses, list below, close parentheses." Twilight read off exactly what was written, raising the scroll as she read further.
"I've not got much ink in this well, and the storage is all the way downstairs, so I'll keep this brief, Pinkie Pie, party stuff, Rarity, dresses for the bride and bridesmaids, Applejack, food, Fluttershy, bird choir, Rainbow Dash, Sonic Rainboom to tie it all together, and my fathful student, u will be de genral manager of evryting, barly any ink left, so closin it her, sined, Prnces Celest." Twilight recited the instructions, trying to keep steady with the broken wording she was reading.
The others were giddy at the opportunity to help with a wedding, Xero stood and walked a few meters away, a finger to where his ear supposedly was.
"That's nice and all, but who's getting married?" Twilight broke the excitement with the question.
"Oh, *huff* right, I probably should have given you *huff* this one first." Spike responded sheepishly, his breathing was steady again, he brandished a rolled up scroll, Twilight took it in her magical grasp.
"Okay, let's see, dear lucky pony/ponies, you are cordially invited to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and...." Twilight trailed off, her mouth and the scroll dropped.
Spike picked up the scroll, cleared his throat, and finished reading.
"*ahem* Twilight's big brother." he added, everypony gasped, then congratulated the leader of the group.
"Congratulations to yer brother fer gettin' ta marry a princess." Applejack started.
"I can only imagine how you feel, darling." Rarity added.
"You have a big brother too? Cool!" Scootaloo piped up.
"And he's marrying a princess." Pinkie jumped into the stream of words.
Some other shit was said, miraculously moving to the train ride, Xero hasn't said anything.
The human took his hand off of his ear and spoke.
"Sweet, Jordan is getting married to the Princess of Loooove." he stated suddenly.
"Who's Jordan?" most of the ponies present querried the odd statement.
"Duh, Captain Sparkles, the guy getting married to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." Xero informed.
"But, my brother's first name is Shining, not Jordan, and how did you even know, when we tried to get you to follow us, you didn't respond to even Pinkie's screaming." Twilight argued.
"Huh? Hold on," Xero instructed, putting a hand to his ear again, a few seconds later he took it off "Oh, it's Captain Sparkle, not Sparkles, damnit, oh well." he sighed.
"I still wish I could at least get a phone call, Celestia literally knows he can afford it." Twilight grumbled.
"Why is that?" the other 5 still did not recieve many details about Twilight's brother.
"Because he's a captain in the unicorn Royal Guard, pays big money." Xero revealed.
"How'd you know that?" Twilight was confused at the bluish-black-with-white-highlights haired man's knowledge.
"Phone call." Xero explained concisely.
"From who?" Twilight interrogated.
"My close friend Princess Luna, her majesty, the highness, Goddess of the Night, called me on my internal telephonetic communicator, and informed me of the wedding, which includes who is actually being wed, while my internal telephonetic communicator is activated, no sound comes in, and no sound comes out." Xero answered extensively.
"Princess Luna called you ? Why?" Twilight continued her questioning.
"Like I said, we're close friends, I killed the nightmare spirit, I defeated Discord, I'm a soldier, so she respects me as much as I respect her, and we're friends, so she called me to tell me about the wedding, which, I repeat, includes the ponies being wed." Xero revealed.
"Mmm hmm, I see, well, come on, we're a few seconds from Canterlot." Twilight announced, standing up.
Xero equipped the Speed suit, leaving the train through the top hatch, he and Scootaloo flew off once the train was inside the forcefield, a pair of guards came up to see what was going on, but being flipped off by Xero gave them enough of a sign to back off.
The pair split up shortly before reaching the castle, Xero went to the courtyard-like area that only the Class 4 Generals and their guests were allowed to be in, seeing Mogar counting while perched on a cloud, Aran and Derek galloping for their lives to find a hiding spot, Xero announced his presence.
"Sup Mogar, I'm joining in, alright, so start over with the counting." Xero greeted, flying off to hide.
"Okay, motherfucker, I was at 99, shit, I gotta start ALL THE WAY OVER NOW." the seasonal-camoflauge-armor wearing stallion complained.
With the pegasus of the group counting again, Xero found a decent spot and used his recently designed invisibility mechanism, which he called, in honor of his favorite TV show, the Chameleon Circuit.
The game began.
<>
Twilight trotted angrily past all of the guards, none stopped her, they knew not only who she was, Celestia's student, but the implications of said status put her, surprisingly enough, in higher regard than the whole of the army, minus the Class 4 Generals and the Princesses' personal guards, but that was a negligable percentage.
Clearing away from the fury of the lavender mare by at least 3 meters, the guards did NOT want to end up blocking her path.
Twilight knew her anger was a bit un-called-for, if her brother was simply too busy with physical work that inhibited his ability to contact her, then that was the state of affairs, and trying to change the past would, as she experienced after the events of the Starswirl the Bearded archives, NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA.
But she doubted he was so swamped with work that he couldn't even take the time to write his own letter, or, as she had ranted about, make a phone-call.
Her perception turned back on when she ran right into a tree.
"OW, ugh, stupid tree, where am I?" she looked around, curious as to where her legs had taken her.
She was in the large courtyard-like area in the center of the main.... army..... building..... thing (I have no idea).
She saw her brother, Captain Shining Armor, in his purple painted captain's armor, giving orders to some guards.
She had a malicious idea.
<>
"Now remember, soldiers, we are the ROYAL GUARD!" Shining was giving a morale speech, unknown evils tended to put quite the damper on confidence in the RG.
"We are POWERFUL, we are DISCIPLINED, the MOST IMPORTANT of ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT, WE CAN DO THIS, STAND UP AND BE STRONG, COURAGEOUS, and be PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT, and most importa-" he was cut off by the arcane zapping sound that accompanied a teleportation, he was about to look around when something about the size and weight of a full grown mare landed on his back rider style.
"And most importantly, try to look pretty, like Shiny here, he's pretty enough to get married." Twilight finished the sentence, sitting on her brother's back, forelegs on his helmet to help look over the white stallion's mohawked mane at the captain's subordinates.
Shining just stood there shocked at the invasion of personal privacy.
The guards chuckled to themselves.
"Alright, you 2 get over to the north wall, me and Shiny need to talk." the lavender mare ordered, the guards saluted Shining and galloped off.
"I, uh, uhhhhhh." the blue maned captain's mind was forced to reboot after the experience, hearing his little sister giggling snapped him back to reality.
"Hey Twily!" he greeted, trying to be lighthearted about the event that had just transpired.
"Hey BBBFF, how's life." Twilight replied casually.
"It's, um, good, um, can you get off of me please?" Shining was feeling embarrassed at the physical closeness his sister had created.
"Let me think about it... nope, I'm just going to let you do the walking while I talk." the younger of the 2 unicorn's tone was casual, even though she was imposing the actions upon the older of the 2.
"*sigh* Alright, so, what did you want to say?" Shining walked, he needed a vantage point to see that everything was going smoothly.
Walking up to a high connecting bridge, the pair conversed.
"So, why didn't you tell me in person, or even a phone-call, or at the very least a letter, that you were GETTING MARRIED!?" Twilight got immediately to the point.
"I tried, I really did, but every waking moment I've had was forced to be spent maintaining military cohesiveness, or keeping Cadence from having a heart-attack, she's overly stressed about the fact that later the same day we announce the fact that we're getting married, a threat has been made against Canterlot as a whole, the rough, scratchy, greenish-black writing from the letter, which was mud-caked and worn, was a pretty horrifying message." Shining explained.
"What was the message?" Twilight knew that the threat had to be dealt with ASAP.
"Well, it said 'we're coming to Equestria, first Canterlot, and we're going to suck your hearts dry.', which sent chills through everypony present, all of the members of the military that were still inside the borders of Equestria at the time, and all that have come back since then are immediately sent here, and positioned, we've got almost all of Canterlot monitered at all times, in fact, the only 5 soldiers who aren't on extensive watch duty are myself, being the Captain of Tactics, the only one qualified to amass a formation like this, and the Class 4 Generals." the white stallion went on.
"I see, and what are they doing, the Generals?" the lavender mare querried, those 3 had a not just a track-record, but a whole ocean's worth of records of somehow being horrible for the job, and perfect for the job, at the SAME DAMN TIME.
"They're doing what they always do, a whole lot of nothing , nothing important anyways, they're acting like stallion-foals, playing schoolyard games and napping, at least, that's what they do during the day , which is the only time anypony can get an audience with them, but frankly, I fear the worst from them, they're mentally unstable, Aran is a well-intentioned-extremist, Derek could take out anypony in a 10-mile radius if he did a face-fetlock turn, and Mogar is unstable enough already, he'd just act out on his threats, they got to their ranks somehow, but the reason has long fallen into obscurity." the captain continued.
"Yeah, they've shown extremities with their skills, Mogar does well for a pegasus with melee only, Derek's cutie mark is brass shoes around a star, and Aran is a pure-blooded warrior, they're the most qualified because they made themselves qualified." Twilight revealed.
"How do you know so much about the soldiers?" the older sibling questioned.
"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I was born at home and raised IN THE CASTLE, I KNOW EVERYPONY THERE, AND THEY KNOW ME!" Twilight answered brashly.
"Right, I keep forgetting." Shining half-apologized, these things were known to him, but he rarely lended hem any mind.
The 2 ponies looked out over Canterlot, while this vision point wasn't the best, it offered a pleasant view of the city, and a perfect view of the city walls.
"So, you must have heard of the new Class 4 General, he's pretty much all the mid-tier soldiers talk about, some guy named Xero, supposedly from Great Brimain, and he's a speed demon, kinda like that friend of yours, Rainbow... Flash?" the stallion revived the conversation.
"Yeah, i know him, he lives in Ponyville airspace, plus, he and Rainbow Dash are actually together, like, together together, not like you and this other mare, but close, he's a cool guy when you get to know him, and he actually manages to have 'being an asshole' as part of his charm, the most remarkable thing though, is his general state of being, he may be brash, and cocky, and excessively rude, and crude, and harsh, and mean-spirited, but it's in his nature to be harmful to others, it's the only way he knows how to survive." Twilight was quite insightful about her bluish-black-with-white-highlights haired, tall-ish, bipedal friend, he had given some information, and Twilight had figured out the rest.
"What's wrong with him? Did he grow up in a bad city, or is he like an isolated farmer?" Shining knew that sometimes, ponies would separate themselves from others, teach themselves things, and learn from nature, this had, of course, malicious effects on their minds, to see and treat everything as a threat.
"No, let's just say, he's not actually a pony, he's something much different." Twilight informed.
"I'm guessing by your lack of explanation, it's something that I would have to see/experience to understand." the white stallion knew that this was the case for many things that his little sister experienced and attempted to inform others about.
"Yeah, pretty much, it's an experience, like drinking and stuff." the lavender mare, t'was an evil miracle, but she lacked the words to convey her point.
"And stuff?" the knight asked sarcastically.
"And stuff." Twilight assured, equally sarcastic.
The pair laughed, still in their awkward-for-one position, they laughed loudly, just being in eachother's presence made them happier.
"So, *sigh* who's the lucky mare, I don't think I caught her name." Twilight asked, recovering from her laughter.
"I already said, it's Cadance, your old foalsitter." the captain responded with pride.
"Cadance? Cadance my old foalsitter? The best foalsitter in the history of foalsitters?" Twilight questioned rhetorrically, she knew the answers already.
"Well, yeah, that's actually how we met." the older sibling added.
"Wow, nice catch." the multi-color maned unicorn congratulated, giving her brother a nudge of approval.
"Wow, you've... changed, Twily." the blue maned unicorn observed.
"I know, but you're still the same old you, and that's how I like you." Twilight hugged Shining around the neck, easier than normally due to the fact that she was still on his back like a rider.
"Excuuuu~uuuse me, but what the HELL is GOING ON here?" Cadance piped in, walking up the stairs in one of the 2 connecting towers, she did not like what she saw, some random mare riding on her fiance's back, hugging him and giving him compliments.
"*gasp* CADANCE!" Twilight exclaimed, scrambling to get off of her brother and to her hooves.
Immediately getting in front of the pink alicorn, her newfound excitement banished the sleepy feeling she had gotten while riding on her brother's back.
Cadance just stared at Twilight with a mixture of condescending and confusion.
"It's me! Twilight, Remember?" the unicorn exclaimed, getting really close to Cadance now.
"Uh huh." the princess dismissed the lavender pony and went to her fiance's side.
"Right, well, Cadence is going to be stopping by every so often to check up on the wedding preparations, I'm not able to do so because I've got too much work, managing 1000+ soldiers and all, and I believe you're the preparations manager, no?" the stallion revealed.
"Yeah, I should probably get back to work anyways." Twilight said sheepishly, teleporting away.
<>
Twilight appeared in the kitchen, she could teleport several kilometers at this point, so the trip wasn't hard at all.
Applejack was rushing back and forth, seemingly doing everything by herself, the helping staff was not being helpful, seemingly doing nothing but beinh fat slobs and directing a camera-pony, yelling obscenities that, no matter how loud, were censored by a crow at the window. (it's the Epic Meal Time guys but ponified)
Twilight cheered up considerably while talking to her friend, things like that, simple friendship, had established an effectiveness on her, she felt better overall when she was just... being a friend.
Time for a checklist.
"Cake." Applejack started off, dabbing a small amount of icing on one of the borders, completing the whole thing.
"Check." Twilight announced, ticking off a box on the list.
"Ice sculpture." the orange mare continued, chipping off an errant bit of ice on a heart shaped sculpture.
"Ooooh, check." the lavender mare was dazzled at the shiny formation, not enough to tick off another box, though.
"Tha best darn apple tarts ya eved did taste?" the earth pony asked more than stated, tossing an apple tart to Twilight, the other pony catching it in her mouth.
"Mmmmm, check." the unicorn cheered up further at the delicious taste of the apple tart.
"THE MOST EPIC *squawk*ING FOOD-THING YOU MOTHER*squawk*ERS HAVE EVER SEEN!?!?!" the leader of the group of stallions shouted, his loud voice booming throughout the kitchen.
"What the fuuuuuu...." Twiligth trailed off at the sight of the... food-thing.
It was gigantic, it could easily feed 100+ ponies, a 1:1 scale painting of Cadance and Shining Armor, written in chocolate sauce was 'love tastes good', what wasn't covered in an image of the couple and writing was instead covered in haycon strips, it could only be described in 1 word.
Epic.
"AND WE GOT A MINIATURE ONE FOR SOME *squawk*ING SAMPLING FOR YA FLANKS!" the bearded stallion yelled, tossing over a scaled down version, about 1:10 size.
Twilight poked it a few times with a fork, the images of the 2 ponies seemingly 'bled' a strawberry sauce of some sort, like a mixture of glaze and jelly, with some pure juice in there to thin it out.
She took a few bites, sharing the scrumptious treat with Applejack.
The 2 mares ate happily, Twilight sensed eyes aimed at her, she turned to see a camera.
"And there's some footage of 2 little fillies eating, for all you man-whores and and lesbians out there, you know who you are, you watch us cook every TUESDAY!" the audacious head stallion said to the camera, turning it away from the 2 mares.
"What the hell?" the 2 mares pondered aloud, still eating.
The 6 stallions left, the camera-pony chasing after them.
The 2 mares kept eating the food-thing (I have no words to describe it, it's like cake/pie/some other baked good)
Cadance chose that moment to walk in.
"Are you... eating on the job?" the pink princess half-demanded the information, mostly confused.
"I believe it's called a 'lunch break' by most workers." Twilight answered cheekily with a shit-eating grin.
"Right, whatever, is the food at least somewhat prepared?" the somewhat snobby sounding alicorn querried, Twilight knew something was up, she knew Cadance more than almost anypony, maybe even more than Celestia herself.
Cadance was being a stuck-up demanding bitch, expecting everything to be perfect when not even an HOUR of preparation had passed, and acting like she was above being a bitch for demanding such, and generally being too much different than her normal self.
Or maybe Twilight was disoriented and possibly inebriated, that was possible, she did drink a few glasses of wine before she came here.
How many was it?
Like, 5-6.
How does Xero have that much wine?
Where the hell does he get it all from?
Wait, stop, Twilight, get your head in the game!
Damnit, Cadance is leaving.
Applejack hoofed over a small bag of apple tarts to the pink princess, the alicorn gave a fake smile, Twilight was seemingly the only one who percieved it, though, as Applejack kept smiling.
"Umm, right, thanks." Cadance replied to the statement that had apparently been made, Twilight hadn't been paying much attention until this point.
"No problemo, I know how you brides get, so worried and stressed out ya forget to put a little somethin' in your belly." the orange pony philosophized.
While the earth pony had her back turned, Cadence threw the bag of tarts into the trashcan, without even so much as a pause.
Twilight was almost seething at this point, Cadance did not do stuff like that ! She would have either politely declined if she did not want any, said something if she didn't like them in the first place, or kept them if she really wanted them.
T'was simple logic, Twilight knew something was up now.
She teleported to her next destination, to Rarity.
<>
Appearing in the style tower, as she had dubbed it long ago, Twilight found Rarity almost floating around the workspace.
The white unicorn was moving around the dresses that she had made, Twilight analyzed them, they were so beautiful that she would have killed to wear any of them.
"Nice to see that the dress production is under way, they look great." Twilight announced cheerily.
"Oh why thank you Twilight, nopony has bothered with even so much as a peep, not even the guards." Rarity almost sang, her mood had been quite dampered with the stresses of making 4 dresses in 1 day, no secondary motivation added, driven only by duty to be fabulous at what she did, which was making clothes
"Well, then they're all stupid flankholes." the lavender mare insulted the others.
"Now Twilight, it's not nice to say such things about ponies who can't be here to defend themselves." Rarity chastized.
"Oh fine, they're all stupid assholes then." Twilight reworded, going in the opposite direction of niceness
"*sigh* That's not much better, but I must finish these ensembles for the bride and her bridemaids." Rarity got herself back on track, Twilight merely sighed and walked around the fashion constructions, slowly checking off the boxes, admiring the fabulousness of the garments.
Cadance entered the room, still as irate as before.
"Are the dressses ready yet?" Cadence asked, even her tone was agitated.
"Not completely, but about 95 or so percent, I'm just putting on the finishing touches, darling." the fashionista assured.
"I see, so so so sorry to dampen the mood, but make it a different color, like, add some black, and some green, plenty of green." the princess of love instructed.
"Blech." the archmage pretended to vomit, imagining her old foalsitter wearing something so gothic-sounding was almost sickening.
"Who said that?" the pink pony looked around, not noticing the lavender mare ticking off boxes while getting ticked off herself.
"Ooh, pretty." the bridesmaids rushed into the room, fawning over their dresses.
"Make them all different colors." Cadance demanded.
"RIght, of course, your majesty." Rarity complied.
<>
"I sense a disturbance in the royal force." Xero said suddenly, he could tell somepony just called somepony who was a princess but was not Luna 'majesty'.
"Found you dude." Derek mockingly said, tapping Xero on the chest.
"And I hit that 'Soulja Boy' and said..." Xero gathered his strength.
"What the fu-" the not-squishy-at-all wizard was cut off by Xero rubbing his middle finger all over his face.
"FuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!" Xero rapped at the chamber door of Derek's self-assurance.
"I... I don't..... I don't know....... how to........ respond to that......" the unicorn was drawing nothing but blanks.
"Somepony gave advanced praises to someprincess other than Luna." Xero explained.
"Oh, I see, I personally prefer Luna over Celestia as well, they say that Celestia would have somepony banned from the castle if they tried to take one of her feathers, which implies that that act was a big enough issue at one point to invoke the application of rules against it, despite the fact that Celestia never flies, like, NEVER, almost never, at least, she's probably flown about 10 times in the all of her life." Derek ranted.
"I know, it makes one wonder, just as they would if somepony using a zweihoofer with one hoof were to use it with both hooves, what if somepony did something more , like trying to take her whole wing off, or both." Xero extrapolated.
"Man, I don't even want to think about that." Derek changed the subject.
"RIght, I actually need to go, I have a sister that I should attend to." Xero dismissed himself, flying off.
"Alright.... then,,," the unicorn C4G said to the departing human, turning around to look for his other hiding comrade.
<>
Twilight was thoroughly pissed off (in case the transition didn't tell you enough)
Cadence was being a COMPLETE bitch now, the NORMAL Cadance would at least politely decline Pinkie Pie's party ideas, and that would be assuming that she didn't accept them.
This was not the pretty pink princess of love that the lavender archmage mare knew and loved, no, this was somepony else, or maybe Cadence had some sort of mental illness now, before, all the times that Twilight was sure she would recieve a scolding or even a spanking, Cadance had stayed calm, through broken windows and burnt books, Cadence had always stayed kind and considerate.
Something had happened, something bad, something REALLY FUCKING BAD!
Twilight rushed to find Celestia, the only pony who she knew would take her seriously, Shining would probably dismiss her worries and try to make Cadence out to have merely reached a new threshold of mental overwhelming.
Opening the intricate and intelligent looking doors, the lavender pony rushed inside the intel-room she knew so well, the alabaster alicorn she knew even better was standing in front of a telescope, looking out, she turned to see who had entered, and smiled at the sight of her student.
"Ah, Twilight, nice of you to come by here, please, take a seat, if you wish." Celestia at least had the decency to acknowledge the fact that Twilight was a grown mare and could make her own decisions, even if it was just something as simple as choosing to sit down.
"Princess, nice to see you too, but there is something more important, I think something has happened to Cadance." Twilight wasted no time in getting up-close and personal with her mentor, gripping her by sides of the face and smooshing her cheeks together, forming the 'why wub woo' face.
"Uh huh, and what do you think has happened to my dear niece?" Celestia asked, staying calm even at the uncomfortably close proximity.
"Either a mental affliction or complete replacement, that's what, I don't care about anypony caring about how I talk, so I'll just say it outright, she's being a pain in the ass and a bitch, forcing unrealistic demands, expecting everything to be done in unreasonably small amounts of time, changing what I damn well KNOW she would accept with happiness and joy, and other shit too, she's being, for lack of a better term, un-Cadence." Twilight explained at length, her grip on the solar deity's face loosening somewhat.
"I see, well, I'll see what I can do to try to talk to her, don't get your hopes up, as even I can only do so much." Celestia half-accepted, she didn't really feel like Twilight had based her claims on anything.
"Ugh, fine, I need to be elsewhere, anyways." Twilight teleported away without another word.
"Hmm, Twilight does seem quite upset, I'm sure she's just stressed out, nothing serious." Celestia would later look back at this moment and want to strangle her past-self for not handling the situation more responsibly, or at least beat herself halfway-to-death.
Looking back through the telescope, the present Celestia dismissed her student's claims, looking back out over the blank sky.
Twilight, meanwhile, seethed in anger, she was going to snap, and somepony was going to get REALLY hurt when she did.
Nopony took her seriously, they would all want to strangle their past-selves for not alleviating the situation as soon as possible.
Xero, on the other, would strangle all of them, he knew when to take people seriously, ponies too.
It was all a matter of time.
And transition.
<>
Twilight chugged her glass of grape vodka, she ordered it for the sole reason of needing something to diffuse her anger with.
And drinking sugary beverages with high alcohol content was an excellent activity that not only fit the bill, but did the job better than most other activities.
"So, all of you are probably too busy fawning over your jobs to notice that Cadance is being, well, to put it nicely, she NOT BEING CADENCE-Y." Twilight proclaimed.
"How does somepony not act like themself?" Rainbow Dash asked simply, stretching her wings.
"Well, first, she's the princess of love, which not only includes your standard 'I love you, you love me, let's go out and fuck like bunnies' kind of love, but being friendly and nice, she hasn't been either , I know her, or at least I thought I did, she's been lying, deceiving, amongst a few other things, Applejack, did you know that after she said she 'love love loved' your apple tarts, she tossed them in the trash?" Twilight ranted, she would go at this from a tactical point.
"Well, she was probably just trying to spare my feelings, nuttin' to it." the orange farmer replied.
"No, she wouldn't do something like that, not the sparing your feelings thing, if she didn't want them, she would have declined them up front, if she didn't even like them, she would have told you after she ate the first one." Twilight reassessed.
Xero and Scootaloo arrived at the table after a long conversation with Luna, they ordered drinks and got comfortable, listening to the conversation their friends were having.
Conversation that was quickly being taken over by debate.
"Now then, Rarity, do you honestly think that anypony would wear some shit like a black and green dress to something as important as their own fucking wedding? " Twilight demanded, ripping the refilled glass of grape vodka from the waiter's hand and gulping it down, shoving it back to the worker pony to be refilled again.
"Well, I guess Cadance just has unique tastes." the white fashionista dismissed.
"Yeah, an acute form of liking big pink frilly things, like that fancy shit you like, but times 10, she's not gothic, and the closest things that I know of that she's worn to black is a winter sweater, and the closest thing to green is a spring hat, she would want the most 'pretty pretty princess' dress she could get, just to add more to here already being one ." Twilight revised.
"Well she did yell at one of my birds at rehearsal." Fluttershy meekly added.
"Oh see now that's not Cadence, she never yells, the closest she gets is giddy squeals of excitement, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't excited." the lavender archmage assured.
"Are ya sure ya ain't just makin' somethin' outta nothin', purely for other reasons?" Applejack posed the powerful query.
"Oooh, the armor-piercing question, bane of all emotion." Xero remarked
"What reason could I POSSIBLY HAVE?" Twilight wasn't really raging, so much as she was confused at what her orange friend could be impying.
"Well, I mean, couldn'it be that you... and your brother... I mean... um, how can I put this..." Applejack had her point ready to be conveyed, but the conveying part was hard.
"You don't want Cadance to marry your brother, because secretly, it's you who wants to marry him?" Pinkie threw the point at Twilight's face.
Xero stopped, took a big drink of wine....
... And swallowed it.
Then he placed a large amount of bullets in his mouth and did a huge spit-take.
The clattery metal ammunitions bounced on the table, each one rolling to a stop.
One round fell off the table and landed on a particular part of the ground.
This part had a nail sticking straight up.
The bullet landed primer-first on top of the nail.
The shot fired off, not only launching into the air, but making a really loud noise.
The full metal jacket/armor piercing/incendiary/HE/cyanide/muzzle-activation straight-tracer/rocket round bullet fired its entirety into the air, and hit a bird.
The bird landed, bloodied and burning on the street.
A posh pony fainted at the sight.
Which knocked over a window-sill bound basket.
Which rolled underhoof to a pony carrying a crate of matches.
Said pony slipped, causing matches to spill out onto the street.
Another pony carrying a bundle of dynamite tripped over the matches, lighting them.
Said dynamite bundle rolled away to a merchant's cart.
The merchant saw the dynamite rolling towards his cart of precious produce, he wished he had appendages with which to flip off the alicorn of fate, but he did not, so instead, when the leafy greens were blown sky high, he shouted something he shouted much more than he would like.
"MY CABBAGES!" the merchant yelled.
Xero laughed at the scene.
"Oh HA my Luna wo-*wheezing laughter*-ow, oh bloody he-*wheezing laughter again*-ell that was more ent-HA-rtaining than a HA pile of cunts." the brit forced out, pounding his fists on the table in an attempt at alleviating the humorous energy.
"Well, that was a snowball and 31 halves." RD jokingly stated.
"Boy, that escalated quickly , I mean, that really got out of hoof fast." Pinkie added.
"Screw this, and screw you." Twilight was fed up with the situation.
She did the only she could at this point.
She placed her hooves firmly on the underside of the table.
Xero and Scootaloo quickly gathered the bullets and flew off before what happened next happened.
Twilight's rage ignited, she did the only thing that was logical at this point.
She stormed off, half stalking gait, half fiery-muscle-feeling sprint.
She was going somewhere.
<>
Twilight entered the home she knew so well, after all, it was where she grew up.
Ever since she had moved out to live with Celestia in the castle, her brother had become the Sparkle Estate's prime proprieter (or whatever the fucking term is), shield designs were the main theme, like either some sort of conceitedness, or going back to his roots, she knew it was the latter.
Her parents were on extended vacation, almost permanent, actually, they were already rich enough, how else would they be able to live in the upper-crust area of Canterlot?
Shining was a grown stallion and a soldier, Twilight was a grown mare and a heroine, so they clearly did not require assistance any more.
Frantically looking around the foyer, she heard the hoofsteps near her.
"Hey Twily, nice of you to stop by, check it out, your big bro's looking pretty good huh?" Shining greeted, gesturing to his suit, one owned by a dearly held family member.
Twilight's anger had dissolved, leaving only sadness, she turned to her brother, trying to smile, only to make a quivering frown, her mouth lacked the strength to lift itself.
"You don't look too good, what's wrong?" the white stallion knew that his little sister would try (and fail) to smile when she had acute sadness.
"*sigh* It's just, Cadence has been acting completely unlike herself lately. It's like she's somepony else just wearing Cadance's skin." Twilight admitted her thoughts after a reassuring look from her brother.
"Well, listen Twily, make sure that this is indeed a problem, and not you thinking something and then it turns out that it's almost completely false. Whatever you're thinking of claiming, be sure of it." Shining instructed.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." the lavender mare surrendered, she would need to think of something to back up her claims, but she didn't have a lot of time.
"Of course I'm right, I'm the older sibling." the white stallion joked.
"Yeah, just like you were 'right' when I helped you with almost all of your classes, in fact, the only 2 I didn't help with were literature and PE, and the former is the base of education, while the latter is just about pure physical work, so essentially, I'm the one who earned your degree." the archmage reminisced, it was quite a sight and sound when her big brother, about 7 years older than her, came to her for help, she was happy to oblige, of course, she loved learning.
"Okay, come on, I was kinda right, I picked the right tutor." the captain joked again.
The sibling shared a few laughs, ending in a quick hug.
"Okay, seriously? Get away from him!" Cadence came down the stairs quickly, pushing Twilight from her brother and holding onto him.
"Cadance, calm your tits, I'm his SISTER, IF YOU COULDN'T FUCKING TELL!" Twilight snapped, she could not believe that the pink princess not only did not recognize her, even WITH her name, but thought she was some sort of... 2nd special somepony in her brother's life.
"Oh... um..." Cadence blushed in embarrassment, she did not expect this turn of events.
"Well, anyways, I'll leave you 2 to... whatever you 2 do when you're alone, I'm not one to judge." Twilight said, merrily trotting away.
She had a plan, and Xero could very well help her.
The man in question was....
<>
...not giving a fuck, granted he was sleeping at the moment, but if he had 'sleep-fuck's to give, he still wouldn't give them.
The blue clad man and his (at least he thought so) adorable little sister shared a cloud, for some reason the room had:
A; no properly working AC, so they couldn't warm the place up
Under a thick, dark blue blanket, Xero and Scootaloo held eachother close for warmth, it was a peaceful moment.
The peaceful moment turned into peaceful several hours, it was morning, almost noon, summer-time, so the air was pleasantly warm and mostly dry.
Twilight threw the doors open.
"XERO I NEED YOUR HE-" she was cut off immediately.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Xero had suddenly summoned the Joy Colts, firing off all 24 rounds in 12 2-shot blasts, his hands hurt like hell keeping the muzzle-rise below 5 inches, but even then, all 24 bullets missed.
Twilight narrowly avoided pissing/shitting herself (which, because no pants, would end up all over the floor and be really disgusting).
"TWILIGHT STOP BEING A CUNT AND SHOUTING!" Xero shouted.
"You're being a hypocrite, Xero." Twilight countered.
Xero felt a tugging at his side, he looked over and found Scootaloo clinging onto him, her forelegs wrapped around his torso.
"What were you 2 doing sleeping on a cloud together?" Twilight knew the concept was not unheard of, but the ages of those siblings had been a very small younger sibling, and a fully grown older sibling.
"Cadance loves and tolerates your brother with her vagina, oh, and WE WERE bloody SLEEPING." the dark/light haired man explained.
"Okay, whatever, listen, I need your help, Cadence is not herself, I mean, it's like she stopped being the princess of love, and started being the princess of annoying-acting-royalty." Twilight assessed.
"I see, like the Queen of bally England on crack (other illegal drugs are available at the cost of possibly being arrested and put in jail for possession and usage of illicit substances) and is actually not the Queen of England but is instead a type of shape-shifter." Xero suggested nonsensically.
"Shape-shifter? Like a Mimic or a Changeling?" Twilight had heard of such creatures, both were very dangerous.
"Yes, it's not an inanimate object, so it's a Changeling, trust me, I play a lot of video games that have this shit in them, I know that Mimics imitate inanimate objects and attack those who disturb them, feeding on blood and other bodily fluids, where as Changelings take the form of somepony and feed off of their life-force/life-energy, both are dangerous." Xero spoke at length.
"Well, if they did that, then they would be apprehended and driven to extinction, for us, Changelings feed off of love, the love that other ponies have for the pony they imitate." Twilight revealed.
"Okay, so, 2 things, 1, that's easy enough, 2, why didn't the changeling take over for Shining Armor? With Cadence being the bloody Princess of Love, then the scum would go from rags to riches, metaphorically speaking." Xero had removed himself from the cloud, carrying his little sister so as to not disturb her (surprisingly, she was still asleep).
"Alright then, come on, they're practicing the wedding now, so we don't have much time, we have to stop this before they get married for real." Twilight directed, rearing up before taking off at great speed, Xero (comically) ninja ran while still (for some odd reason) carrying Scootaloo, the orange pegasus nuzzled him and gripped him tighter.
Literally flying down the halls, faster than Twilight, Xero poured on the speed, he needed to assess the situation before anything was done to change it.
It was all just a matter of time.
<>
Quickly and quietly, like always, Xero entered the ceremony hall, everything was almost completely decorated, certain major parts were not put up, for the sole fact that it would be superfluous.
Leaning against one of the side pillars, the one on the right, in the middle of the row, he set Scootaloo down and began preparing his weapons.
Wolverine? check. APS? check. Every other sword? check. Blue Death? check, Grudge? check.
Holding the Grudge a little while longer, this was the second thing that Omega had, still working, by the end of the Kary fight.
Omega, Kary....
NO, XERO GET YOU HEAD IN THE GAME, DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM!
NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM!
DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU!
STOP!
IT'S IN THE PAST, ME, LET IT GO!
How can I let it go if I never get over it?
NO, STOP IT, SELF!
The armor-piercing question was instantly removed, he sealed up the wound with denial, he didn't want to, saw no purpose to, to... to.....
To look back, he had nothing to smile about in his past, he never wanted to think about any of that ever again.
Scootaloo stirred, but otherwise stayed still, laying out flat again.
"Xero, Scootaloo, so nice of you to attend the practice." Celestia greeted.
"Don't thank me, I genuinely do not like you and personally wish you would not speak to me." Xero eloquently denied.
"Right, whatever, where was I? Oh yes." Celestia got back on track.
Xero tuned the alabaster princess out, opting to clean the Grudge, as it had (somehow) gathered dust in it's disuse.
The solar princess got back to her announcement, the doors were almost blasted off of their hinges.
"STOP!" Twilight screamed, she was pissed.
Nopony knew how to react to that.
"THIS MAY JUST BE A REHEARSAL, BUT THAT CADANCE IS NOT THE REAL CADENCE, SHE'S A FAKE!" Twilight knew that her current state would displace her credibility, but she needed this to be resolved now.
"What do you mean?" 'Cadance' asked innocently, trying to further discredit Twilight.
"I MEAN, she's NOT THE REAL CADENCE, IS IT NOT OBVIOUS YOU DUMB CUNT?!" Twilight shouted, getting very closer to the altar, about in-line with Xero.
She turned to the brit, who gave her a thumbs up.
"Ugh, if she's just going to throw insults around for no reason, maybe we should just ignore her." 'Cadence' offered the wisdom.
"YOU NEED TO STOP IGNORING ME!" Twilight wasn't necessarily pissed off , per se, she was just trying to get her point to hit home, and now they were ignoring her?
She would not stand for this, no amount of shouting or stomping until she was raspily breathing or fracturing her leg bones would convey her logic and knowledge properly.
She needed to take action, and now.
Looking to her british friend, she noticed the rifle he held, harshly ripping it from his grasp, she plucked a hair and immediately over-rode and reset the DNA lock to herself, the lights and frame turned purple.
She took aim, by the time the ponies had enough time to react, and Xero recovered from the shock to move, she already had the deadly weapon aimed and ready to fire.
The massive plasma round shot through the air impossibly fast, illogically fast, 10 miles in 1 second, Twilight still (somehow) missed, she tried to redirect the shot, tried with all her might, but Xero tackled her, holding her up by the neck and punching her in the face a few times, he tended to get a little bit PISSED OFF when his stuff was stolen right from his hands.
Celestia cried out in pain, the shot had missed 'Cadance', but hit Celestia, and in Twilight's (failed) attempts at correcting the bolt of destructive matter, and practically ripped Celestia's wings off.
Twilight stopped, Xero had only punched her a few times, and reclaimed his rifle, taking a few steps back, he let the events unfold.
Everypony except Twilight was at Celestia's side in a second, Twilight stood there, stunned.
Shining was the first to regain his mental bearings.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU JUST BLASTED CELESTIA!" the white stallion rebuked.
"YOU COULD HAVE HIT ME!" 'Cadence' added.
Twilight was crushed, everypony sobered up a little, and realized it was her fault.
They passed by her, shunning her.
She was angry, she hated being ignored like this.
Only Rainbow Dash, Xero, and Scootaloo remained.
Well, them, and Celestia, who almost dragged herself away.
"Some guards will come by to take you to the dungeon, you'll be serving hard time for a long time, Twilight, you're under arrest for assault of myself, and you're disowned as my student as well, if you try to come to the wedding, I'll have you executed ASAP." Celestia stated, her tone was low, grave, filled with hatred and laced with quite a bit of blood and ichor.
Twilight shed a tear, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Rainbow Dash was in the middle of going over to Xero when Twilight collapsed at the altar, crying.
Xero briefly considered going after the others, forcing them to deal with the problem, rather than lock it away.
RD looked to him, he looked back at her.
They came to a silent agreement.
The lavender mare sobbed quietly, Xero drew the Steven, ready for any foolish guards who would think that they could arrest the archmage without resistance.
Nopony came, Twilight continued to cry, Rainbow Dash, being her loyal self (and the influences from Xero) still just sat there, comforting Twilight however she could.
Rainbow Dash began stroking Twilight's mane like her father always did, giving little shushes and assurances, it wasn't much, but it was highly effective.
"*sniffle* *sigh* I guess this is it, what happens now?" the lavender mare sat up from her laying position, wiping away her tears.
"Now we-" Xero got cut off.
"Now, you, never, appear, again." the almost serpentine voice proclaimed.
The trio looked towards the altar, standing there was none other than Cadance, or at least, what they knew only looked like Cadence.
The pink princess flared up her horn with sickly green magic, a toxic green fire circle began forming around the archmage and the flyer.
She was stunned when 6 warm lines of constriction wrapped around her.
She looked down at the offending objects.
Xero had grabbed her with the Blood Wires, diamond strong, neon red, and viciously sharp.
The black long-coat clad man swung Cadance over his head, slamming her on the ground between the altar and the door, audible snaps of bones and maybe even cartilage rang out clear.
It was like music to the black/white haired cyborg's ears.
Xero pinned the supposed 'princess of love' and began rapidly punching her, using a special technique to deal massive damage.
The technique was to straighten out his fingers completely, the force from the jab would be concentrated into the impact from his middle finger, luckily, his middle fingers were strong from years of flipping people (and ponies) off, as well as being the only parts of his hands that were fully robotic.
Cadence didn't stand a chance.
Red patches of skin shone through her coat, blood was being shed soon after.
Xero almost stopped in shock, but kept going.
The blood was green (with a hint of blue).
Harmless green flames covered the restrained royal, revealing her true self.
Queen Chrysalis.
Xero brought his Boomknives into the equation, using the blade-spike grip guards to add more damage to his strikes.
From jabbing, to punching, and then to stabbing, Chrysalis was quickly dying.
Xero got off of her, standing up tall.
He brought out his most potential filled sword.
The Sword of Weakness to Swords.
Spinning the device, numbers flew from the changeling's body.
1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096, 8192, 16384, 32768, 65536, 131072, 262144, 524288, and finally 1048576.
No kill like overkill.
Chrysalis was reduced to a mangled corpse.
Xero dismissed the Sword of Weakness to Swords.
He looked over to the pair of ponies.
They were gone.
He took it upon himself to break a window whilst fleeing from the scene.
Not so much 'fleeing' as he was.... 'advancing in a different direction'.
Meaning he was going to find them.
He was long gone by now, however, Chrysalis had managed to gather enough power to change herself into Cadance again, as a last cursing of fate.
Guards came to the still-open-door, seeing the mangled corpse of 'Cadence'.
Their first incentive was to throw up, and then bring this news to the others.
Who knows what this would change.
<
Xero dug straight down, he could fly, so it was okay.
Disintegrating stone and dirt beneath him, using his warping tools to send the bits away, he wasn't entirely sure if his theory was correct.
His theory was that: E=MC squared.
Oh yeah, and since the fire bubble dragged the 2 mares into the ground, then it would make sense that they were underground.
He broke through to a cave.
The light of the sun shone into the place.
Descending, making a deafening noise as his feet collided with the stone floor, Xero flinched.
"Fuck, gotta stay quiet." he cursed fate, using his ninja skills to pad along the ground at high speeds.
His velvet-like tread proved useful, nightvision was essential, and a small bit of light, amplified by too many times to count, allowed him to see where he was going.
But where did he need to be?
That was the hard part.
Turning on his music, he didn't bother controlling the flow of sounds, he was alone.
<>
Twilight opened her eyes, it was dark, she gathered her thoughts, trying to stay calm.
She cast out a light spell, simple yet effective.
The light shone out, revealing her surroundings.
Gems, in a cave, an underground cave.
The supposed 'lost underground cave of gems'.
She looked around for anything to hint towards a way out.
She turned to see Rainbow Dash, shakily standing up, rubbing her head.
"Ugh, what happened?" the cyan mare asked, her head felt like it slammed into stone.
"We were trapped in this cave, come on, Dash, get your head in the game and help me find a way out of here." Twilight directed, letting her leadership skills flow throughout her thoughts.
"Right, okay, cave? I hate caves, could you make that light brighter?" RD was quite claustrophobic, it came with the freedom of being the best flyer in Equestria, the fear of having that freedom taken away.
Twilight wordlessly increased the light level, illuminating the whole of the area around them, a large dome-like room with the walls/ceiling covered in gems, these crystals blocked magic, rendering any attempt at teleporting out useless.
Twilight decided, if the crystals wanted to pull shit like that? Blast those suckers.
She let loose a powerful bolt of energy, it reflected off of the crystal face, and down again, blasting the wall.
The broken wall revealed a beaten up Cadance looking at the floor, she moved slowly, obviously either fatigued, starving, dehydrated, or all 3.
Her face lit up when she saw Twilight.
Twilight ran over, keeping her magic bolt ready in case this was a trick.
"Twilight, oh thank Celestia you found me, I've been down here for almost a week." Cadence smiled, her voice was crackly.
Twilight's hard glare softened, she used a combination of spells to summon up a good amount of water for the pink princess.
Cadance drank from the floating bubble of liquid life, her strain visibly decreased, she guzzled the whole thing, looking better already.
"Thank you, I was afraid I would just...." the alicorn of love trailed off, though still grateful, hugging the lavender mare she knew so well.
Twilight did not object, despite the filthiness Cadence had accumulated and was now rubbing off on her.
"Come on, stop hugging and let's get out of here!" Dash wasn't one to enjoy such... quote 'mushy feely stuff'.
Even with her and Xero, they made it a point to never go 'all googly eyes' for eachother, it ruins concentration and stuff.
They were about to leave to find a path to the surface when they stopped, they saw a 3 pairs of red eyes, predatorial looking, meant to instill fear in those who gazed upon them.
A sound came from the darkness, they weren't sure if the beast was making it, or the magic of the thing poured the sound directly into their ears.
The song stopped after a few seconds, however, and a new song took its place, booming into the room.
*SHING*
Twilight fired off a magic bolt at the possible predator.
What happened next was unexpected.
<>
Xero zoomed through the caves, his song ran out of time, he came up to a room as the last several notes ran off, before he could notice, the next song started, one he played when he just wanted to kill everyone.
The only light coming from his body was from his visor, 3 sets of red eyes, predatorial looking, made to instill fear in his opponents.
He saw the 3 ponies, Dashie, Twilight, and what he could only assume to be the real Cadance.
They stared at him, he realized that the only part of him that they could see were his visor's eyes, his velvet tread and dark attire practically made him a shadow.
He grinned mischeiviously, if his life were a table-top-RPG, then his alignment on the moral compass would be 'Chaotic Neutral'.
Thus, he drew a blade, making extra sure to make the sound as loud as possible, it was an APS, made of diamond,
*SHING*
Twilight fired off a bolt of magic, Xero whipped the blade into the line of fire to protect himself.
It absorbed the magic, glowing bright with energy now, illuminating his body..
Xero looked at the blade quizzically, he swung it swiftly at a wall, launching out an energy arc, he could make something of this, magic storage, an upgrade to the Aeroblade, perhaps.
Dismissing the blade, Xero looked back at the group.
"Hey, I came looking for you 3, no doubt what chaos that killing that fake will cause, we need to get back to the surface, come on, I know the way out." Xero revealed, gesturing for the 3 mares to follow him.
The quartet zoomed through the tunnels, it was a matter of time before the human of the group's uncleaned assault would prove to be a bigger problem then he could shake a sword at, and his sword shaking skills were... well..... I'm pretty sure I don't even need to explain.
Exiting via the hole in the ceiling that Xero had made, the 3 ponies and 1 cyborg were hellbent on getting out of their and back to civilization.
<>
Scootaloo's breath was forced from her body as she collided with the stone floor of the dungeon.
She was having the best sleep of her life, and apparently was mistaken for the mauling of Princess Cadence, they had taken her knives, the Rambos, a pair of wicked bladed Bowie knives.
Her hoodie was untouched, the guards were more disciplined than to go pilfering through a mare's clothing.
Her .50AE Deagles, the Cop-Caps, were in her pockets, the copper finish had lost some redness, but the power was the same, and with 10 round capacity, the guns were amazingly dependable.
She shot out the lock, much to the surprise of the scrawny pale stallion and the eldritch-eyed stallion in the cell next to her.
Her neighbors were of no concern, she left posthaste.
Using her sneaking skills to bypass the guards, she exited the castle dungeons, only to come muzzle-first into Princess Celestia.
"Ah, young Scootaloo, I was about to come get you, as it turns out, you are innocent, the atrocity that occured was commited by 3 others, my former student Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Xero, you are free to go, but I must say, if you're already out, then you must know this already, I must go, the law needs to be brought down." Celestia turned and left, the sterile white bandages stood out against her white coat, which looked quite dull, she was depressed, and that permeated into her coloration.
Scootaloo gave a coy smile, suppressing the urge to make it into a shit-eating grin.
Taking off out of one of the 'window ports', as they were called, large window-sized holes in the wall for pegasi to exit or enter the castle halls.
She needed to find a way out of there, find something to do, maybe she would visit Luna?
Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.
Doing an aileron roll leading into a sharp turn, she flew to the black roofed tower that made up Princess Luna's chambers.
She briefly wondered where Xero was.
Hell, she wondered where both he, and Rainbow Dash were.
<>
Xero, Rainbow, Twilight, and Cadence ran into the throne room, it had been at least an hour, the main problem was getting everypony up his tunnel, after that, things were easy, Xero, as usual, led the charge.
His main problem was not leaving the charge in the dust.
Bringing up the Aeroblade, upgraded ASAP after his magic storage discovery, he opened the doors somewhat, not wanting to damage them.
The group of 4 stopped and looked to the throne, Luna was there, looking a little groggy, like she had woken up only a few minutes ago.
Scootaloo walked out from behind the throne, seeing her brother, friend, idol, and the real Cadance, she waved.
The orange pegasus and the black clad man almost telepathically communicated, a series of small, indescripable messages conveying any amount of knowledge needed.
Celestia chose that moment to enter.
"Luna, I'm feeling better now-." the solar princess stopped, her voice hitched upon seeing the quartet of ponies and man.
"GUARDS, HERE, NOW!" the (now frantic) white alicorn shouted, she was very worried about what might happen if things went unchecked.
The room filled up with guards in less than half a minute, surrounding the group.
"Dashie, Cadence, Twilight, go to them, I'm the one they want." the ninja directed, summoning the Masamune and the Steven, doing the ninja sword standing move with the Steven, looking around at the guards.
It was at this moment when he had an epiphany, it hit him like a ton of bricks.
His vision went negative colors.
His ears were ringing like a flashbang had gone off.
So many innocent lives.
Honor.
Do not harm the innocent.
There is a special place in hell for people like you, self.
Don't do it, do NOT KILL THEM.
Even when I die, I would like to spend eternity with my friends.
Friends.....
That's a word I've never used to describe them.
Ugh, NO, ME, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!
Thinking about it just makes the pain worse.
Dismiss.exe
Dismiss Weapon.name.Masamune
Dismiss.exe
Dismiss Weapon.name.Steven
If they want me, they can have me, I'm not going to make this a problem.
I'm not becoming a fugitive/pariah again.
Xero stood there, his weapons were gone, locked away safe in his base.
"SEIZE HIM!" Celestia commanded, taking this chance immediately.
"STOP!" Luna counter-commanded, siding with her 'knight in leather armor'.
The royal knights, for all their coherence and wisdom that allowed them to keep the job, they did not know what to do.
"I SAID SEIZE HIM!" Celestia would not allow this opportunity to escape.
"I SAID STOP!" Luna would not allow this to happen.
Xero stood in the middle of a crowd of guards, he would have to be the deciding factor.
"I'M BRIMISH, TRAINED BY THE JAPONESE, I HAVE A ZANBATō AND I'M SIDING WITH LUNA!" he shouted, silencing everypony. (just find out what 'Zanbatō' literally translates to).
Proving his statement, he summoned his new APS design, a straight katana-style blade, 2 inches wide, half an inch thick, 50 inch long blade, 13 inch long handle, able to compact itself at intervals of 5 inches for 10 folds.
Everypony, including Celestia, but not Luna. looked at him in fear.
"But I will not use it, I will fight honorably, like a gentleman, I will not pierce the flesh in this fight, if you so wish to fight me, I will use my skills of fisticuffs to battle, I refuse to shed the blood of the innocent." the black clad man announced, cracking his knuckles.
Celestia blinked hard a few times, that certainly was a sobering statement .
Xero stood tall and proud, he was changing, as much influence his behaviour and mindset had on the ponies, the ponies had influenced his own behaviour and mindset just as much.
The guards backed away slowly, they weren't sure about this.
Celestia called the attack.
The ninja folded his wings tightly against his body, jumping into the air, his previous song was cut short, whatever it was, and a new track took its place.
The main difference between Xero's and Omega's styles of unarmed combat were;
With Omega, you could last 1 or 2 punches, and if you're lucky, maybe 4.
With Xero, each punch makes a small crack in the bone he's hitting, the catch is that he's punching you 20-30 times per second.
Putting all of the blunt force he could behind his shots, he had managed to gain a few pounds, though his body had long before cleared out from the random shit that was put there by what he ate back on earth, which was 99% dry rations, 1% whatever sweet thing he could find, his diet had been replaced by plants and more sweets, if his pancreas wasn't 85% mechanical, he would have developed diabetes in the first month.
The first month of work for MBORF, that is, he was paid monthly, and his first incentive with his money was video games and action movies.
Since he already lived with his team in the luxury apartment that Omega and Askad had picked out, and the 2 more responsible men kept it stocked with whatever consumables the group needed, Xero blew his first check on gaming systems and a few games.
Funny enough, while Omega, Askad, and Kary initiated 'Protocol: Facepalm' at his lack of priorities, not just with money, but with ANYTHING.
While they complained about Xero's habits, Xero complained that the games he had picked out were all done in 3 weeks, leaving him with a week to do nothing.
After the second month, they complained further, Xero barely did any work anymore, every waking minute that wasn't spent doing missions was instead spent playing whatever the day's game was.
Granted, his skills hadn't deteriorated, rather, his training had come from whatever he felt like copying from fighting games and movies, he had become so good that he only needed to half focus on anything that wasn't the latest button masher or high priority mission.
It wasn't really an unreasonably large amount of skill, he only did what came naturally.
Back to the point, he had managed to gain a few kilograms, though that didn't do a very advantageous improvement, he had more power to put behind his attack, which was a god-send in any type of combat.
Despite doing only non-lethal blows, which left him to pressure points and KO's, he still fought off all of the guards.with little difficulty.
He was worried, these ponies, despite being strong, were taking heavy damage from his accurately placed strikes, but they got up and tried to apprehend him again.
He would end up beating the Royal Guard to death if they didn't stop.
"Hoooooooohhhhhhhhhh." Xero heard the poor 'japanese guy in awe' voice from a window, one of the few that weren't stained glass.
Aran, Derek, and Mogar were watching the fighting, jaws agape in awe at their fellowman's skills.
Xero realized something, something clever.
He could pull rank.
"I ORDER YOU ALL TO STOP!" he shouted, adding in his voice amplifier mechanism to slam the point into their heads.
Every single pony in a suit of armor stopped and saluted him.
"As your GENERAL, I COMMAND YOU TO STOP ATTACKING ME, AND IN THE PLACE OF THAT ORDER, I COMMAND YOU... to help the newly returned Princess Cadance to prepare for her wedding, this includes re-planning, cleaning her up, etc., do this... and I won't have you all discharged." the black clad soldier held his voice steady for his statement, he tried (and succeeded) to sound like an authority figure.
The soldiers immediately filed out of the room, leaving only the 2 princesses of the sky and the winged ninja (who also contained 2 of 4 apocalypse souls, Fury (NMM) and Strife (Discord)) to brew their thoughts.
"I can't believe that you think you can get out unscathed, Xero, you will be punished for your crimes, you and Twilight." Celestia's voice dripped with ichor.
Xero, surprisingly, shed a tear, Celestia and Luna didn't understand it at the moment, but thanks to the viewer's allowed insight, you can know that Xero held Twilight's friendship in high regard, she was like a female Omega, sure there was RD, but she was the perfect love interest, they were almost identical in interests and preferences, but Twilight was special.
He didn't like to get emotionally attached, but he and Omega had both realized, after the 'Eliminate XV' mission, that all they had to give themselves hope was eachother, brothers in arms, a friendship forged in the fires of battle.
Xero had even managed to fool himself into thinking that Omega wasn't even really dead, that he had ended up in Equestria too, after all, they were like a lot of high class military teams......
And as the sayings go, 'True soldiers don't die, they go to hell and regroup.' of the USMC
'The easy day was yesterday' as the US Navy Seals said.
But his favorite was the British SAS saying, modified to be more explanatory.
'Those who dare are those who win.' he didn't want to have his 2nd best friend be punished for his mistake.
"No, don't punish Twilight, she suffered from a 'Spur-of-the-moment-action' attack, she didn't think her actions through, and it was my mistake for letting her get my equipment, and even further for teaching her how to unlock it." he didn't sound like he was pleading her, but he was.
If push came to shove, he was an expert at 'God of War'.
"*sigh* Fine, I will consider you responsible for the acts that took place, you will be punished for it, severely." Celestia announced.
Xero proceeded to remove his cybernetic attachments, his middle fingers, parts of his thumbs, several plates along his torso, even his ankles and some teeth.
He groaned from blood loss, and was quickly getting worse.
But he was still standing.
The black clad soldier did not collapse in an onslaught of fatigue, no....
He put his attachments back onto his body, the blood rivers stopped immediately.
Xero collapsed at this point, not from heavy loss of vital fluids, but from pain.
It was hell to remove those pieces, and more hell to put them back.
"There, I put myself through hell, you have no idea how much this hurts right now, I actually can barely stay conscious at this poi-*cough*... poin-*cough* point...." despite his near fantasy parameters and thresholds, he blacked out.
Celestia sighed in defeat, these actions, which had taken 40 seconds, had done more than she would have done in 40 hours.
Luna was at her soldier's side, magically removing the spilled blood and putting him onto her back, teleporting to the medical ward for aid.
Things were getting fixed, kind of.
It was at that point that the shield surrounding Canterlot dissipated, Shining Armor had blacked out from exhaustion.
The lifeless corpses of changelings rained from the sky, the hive-mind of the whole species having died along with their queen.
<>
The black husks were cleared out, Xero was still unconscious throughout all of this, and several ponies were injured in the avalanche of bodies.
<>
Xero woke up to find himself floating, he saw Omega floating a few meters away, he waited until the red-clad man stirred to speak.
"Hey, are you awake now?" the blue clad man asked, like Xero, Omega was wearing a jacket in this dream-type-thingy, though his was dark red rather than dark blue, his shirt was white with a red templar cross in the middle, his skin was still the same light gray, it was grA y for Omega because he was from A merica, it was greE y for Xero because he was from E ngland.
"Yeah, why are we here again?" Omega asked, Xero figured that he hadn't been told where he was either.
"I don't know man, but it's great to see you, how've you been?" Xero asked, just like with their first unconsciousness-induced conversation, the younger man was a lot more civil and noticeably more polite.
"Great, you?" Omega answered
"I've been great too, so, let me guess, killed Chrysalis with dual Judgement Blades?" Xero knew about his own Judgement Blades, but kept them under lock and key, he didn't want to freely allow himself such destructive power.
"How'd you know?" Omega answered.
"Hey man, I was infected too, I just died much later, I have dual Judgement Blades as well, though mine have blue lights where as I guess yours have red." Xero had hoped that Omega had his own Judgement Blades, as he felt like it would be fair, seeing as how the older man died because of the infection that gave the weapons to him.
"Yeah man, so, we seem to be at the same point in the show, I guess the only question is...." Omega trailed off.
"Will it stay that way by the time we get our next conversation." Xero posed the ugly question, he had watched the show up to the final point, when Twilight became an alicorn, he hoped that Omega knew about the development.
"Yeah, I hope it does, if either of us are ahead, even by 1 sentence, the lasting changes could be massive, possibly paradoxing." Omega extrapolated.
"Right, well, did you meet the other Class 4 Generals?" Xero asked, effectively changing the subject.
"Yeah, Thorn Forge the earth pony, Blue Comet the pegasus, and Shanka Grim the unicorn, why?" Omega asked.
"Funny, for me it's Aran Braveheart the earth pony, Mogar Ragom the pegasus, and Derek Ganter the unicorn, odd names for ponies, but whatever." Xero replied.
Xero felt a soothing sensation.
"Hold on, I think I'm being healed." Omega announced.
"Yeah, me too." Xero responded.
"I guess this is goodbye again." Omega said.
"Right, goodbye." Xero said back to him.
They were both gone.
<>
Waking up slowly, feeling dysania setting in on the plush, soft, pleasantly-but-not-overly warm bed, he activated a tiny spike of adrenaline, forcing himself awake, he sat up and looked around.
The room was decorated in various shades of black, dark blue, and purple, giving it the illusion that it was carved from the night sky.
The light was even a moon suspended from the center of the dome-like ceiling, reflecting the light off of a shining orange ring.
Princess Luna, her highness and majesty, stood in front of a mirror, putting on her regalia, she noticed the black-clad man staring at her and spun around so that fast her tiara fell off.
"Ah, my most trusted guard, I hope to slept well." the goddess of the moon greeted cheerily.
"Yeah, like a rock..." Xero didn't really know what else to say, he looked around further.
He found Rainbow Dash and Twilight sleeping on the large, royal bed, Twilight was several feet away, Rainbow Dash was holding Xero around his midriff.
Scootaloo was sleeping on a cloud, she looked really cute, and the sight warmed Xero's heart.
*SSSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNG*
Xero whipped around at the sound of metal-on-metal and was met with Luna drawing a gigantic katana from a black and silver sheath.
It was REALLY FUCKING GIGANTIC, HOLY SHIT!
The blade was 80 inches long, the hilt was 20 inches long, 100 INCHES MOTHERFUCKER IT SHOULD BE REALLY HEAVY!
The blade had the wavy flat-progression that all katanas were supposed to have, a small curve at the end, but overall straight.
Several elongated kanjis were engraved on the black flat and filled in with silver, the handle had it's own separate set on purple wrappings, 6 strand, only the pins for the grip-blocks were visible.
The blade kanjis read 'Dark Goddess, of magic, power, death, and the moon.' with a wider bracing part that only had 'moon' on it.
The crossbar was a straight square rod, an outward facing crescent moon on both ends.
The handle kanjis, written in silver ink, read 'Eternal Death before Dishonor'.
The pommel was simply a full moon.
"Tis my gift to you, my most trusted soldier, my personal guard, Xero, a symbol of your service and loyalty to me, princess of the night and goddess of the moon." Luna slowly levitated the blade over.
"I... just..... wow." Xero didn't know what to say, besides 'this is really bloody cool'.
"This is, the Lunar Zanbato." the dark blue alicorn revealed.
"It is an honor to wield an armament of such magnitude, I must query, though, was this blade forged by your own hooves?" Xero let his accent through, he was getting really giddy though, if Luna confirmed this, then....
"That is correct, this blade was forged by my own hooves, blessed with my power, some might even say... 'forged by the goddess', perhaps." the lunar princess confirmed.
"SWEET, FORGED-BY-THE-GODDESS LEVEL ITEM, WOOHOO!" Xero lost it, the gamer inside him could not be unexcited about such an item as this.
"What's with all the noise....?" RD mumbled, though unawoken from her lover's outburst.
"Right, shit, um, I love this, but I must give you something in return, hmmmm...." Xero just couldn't take this gift no problem, it was too epic.
"It is not really any trouble, my most trusted soldier, it is a ceremonial gift, just as useful as a weapon as it is an ornamental piece." Luna tried to dismiss the concerns.
"Oh, I know, take Twilight!" the britishman offered.
"Ha ha ha, I am sure that Twilight is a free mare, and I think she would not like being sold to somepony, even a princess, like an auctionary object." the dark royal laughed.
"No, I mean, like, take her under you wing, so to speak, like a student, I know Celestia went super PMS on her and disowned her as a student, but I know it's my fault, and I want to make it up to her, she's like a second Omega to me, and I don't leave my true friends out to hang and dry," the ninja almost ranted.
"Omega? Who is that? I have never heard you speak of him before." the blue alicorn querried.
"*sigh* He was a true friend, like I said, he was a lot like Twilight, smart, a good leader, and he always strived to solve everyone's problems, even the one person that karma would drown in piss and shit for her transgressions, Kary, it wasn't until he..... died...... that he gave up on trying to turn her back to the side of good. He was the ballsiest man I've ever met. There are, of course, differences, like with me and Rainbow Dash, Omega was red, dark red, like blood, he used guns all the time, with a few instances of melee combat, he enjoyed the thrill of a fight, the sound of bones breaking, the feel of blood splattering on him, the energy of impacting something into someone else's body, the joy of killing, it was his love and life, but me? I live for honor, I don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve it, I make each strike efficient and powerful, I'm not a bloodhound or an ax-wielding omnicidal maniac, I just do what I have to, whatever that may be...." the cyborg trailed off at the end, he mentally scolded himself for thinking about the past, he didn't want to go through the pain of getting over it, it was easier to just put it away.
"I, I don't know what to say about a man like that, Xero, but I must say, he had to have had plenty of redeeming qualities to be such a friend to you as he was, and by the way, I would be very happy to teach Twilight, she has too much potential to go to waste." the lunar princess accepted.
"Thank you, I feel like I owe her something, something to repay her for all the trouble I've put her through. I've decided that this is the way I'll do it. Again, thank you." the black-with-white-highlights haired man spoke with gratitude heavy in his voice.
He reached out and took Luna in his embrace, it was a tight hug, one of happiness and praise.
Luna was shocked for a few seconds before returning the hug.
Everything was going to be fine.
Hopefully.
*grrrooooowwwwwowwwwww*
"Can I get some steaks with the Lunar Zanbato?" the black-clad man joked.
"Sorry, but, no, it would be preferable that the nobles, no matter how snot-nosed and stuck-up they are, be kept alive." the dark royal laughed.
"Right, so, how about breakfast, huh?" the gruff young man suggested.
"Best idea I've heard all day, and I work during the night." the blue alicorn replied, removing her socks and leading the human to the dining hall.
They would have a hearty meal of whatever-the-fuck-the-chefs-made.
The other generals would attend too, their helmets present but their body armors absent, the light gray coated/brown maned unicorn, the tan coated/white maned earth pony, and the pale yellow/black maned pegasus.
Twilight and RD were awoken by Scootaloo.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, wake up, some servants delivered us breakfast." the orange pegasus announced, sliding her large plate in front of her and digging in.
The archmage and the speedster groggily rose and made their ways to the table.
"I have a messahge from Master Xero, to Twilight Sparkle." a fancy servant entered with a letter.
Twilight took the letter in her magical grasp and opened it.
"Dear Twilight, have Dashie read you this letter." Twilight read the first line out loud.
RD snatched the letter out of the air and got ready to read.
"*ahem* Oi, m8, I'm not some bloody jerkass like a lot of ponies think, anyways, cunt, Luna has happy-as-hell agreed to help you learn all of that shit that you like, courtesy of me, Xero, don't focus too much on the shitty bollocks and ballsing it up, just accept it, Celestia is too much of a damn harlot to get over it, so I hope you like the dark arts, sincerely, Fuck You, but not really, Xero Termveli (Termveli is my self-given last name, it's short for Terminal Velocity), cool, you get to learn with Luna." the spectral maned mare congratulated.
"What can I expect with this, though, is it going to be the same? Different? Easier? More difficult? Will there be a lot of tests? No tests? I just don't know." the lavended unicorn was getting really worried.
"Twilight, as bro always says, CALM YOUR TITS! It's gonna be fine, Luna is cool, no doubt you'll learn a lotta stuff with her, more than Celestia, no doubt." the youngest of the 3 mares interrupted.
After that development was effectively muted by the orange and violet filly, the trio ate in silence.
What would the future hold?
Only time would tell.
The forces of War and Death brewed their plans while this peace reigned.
Why?
Because FUCK YOU that's why.
/chapter
Author's Note
SORRY FOR THE LUNA-DAMNED MONTH-LONG WAIT, I hit some blocks when writing, and didn't really feel like writing some times, and I played a shit-tonne of Madness: Project Nexus for about a week.
All in all, better late than never, I suppose.
fries joke, because I'm stupid enough to assume most of you are aware of american dialect, yeah, I'm a pretty fucking stupid person, I'm a lot of things, actually
same with the constant switching between imperial and metric measurements
Don't ask why I spell Cadence like I do, even I'm not sure why I spell Cadance like that, or Cadence like that, or even Cadance like THAT.
I copy/pasted the conversation from OPHL to here in XATFF, just to make it easier.
I actually made the Lunar Zanbato as part of a Table-Top RPG for a weapon of the goddess of magic, Arcana, alongside the Solar Zweihander, because they both start with 'Z'.
I incorporated it into here because the Lunar Zanbato is an eastern sword, where as the Solar Zweihander is a western sword.
It's a pretty cool weapon, and yes, it was forged by Luna's hooves and imbued with her magics.
That is all, though.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee.
Next chapter coming soon.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Let in the light from the crystal window
Xero and Scootaloo sighed in defeat.
Twilight had not calmed her tits.
Or her mind, more importantly.
She walked towards the castle looking like she was about to have a heart attack.
Xero was only there to escort her, being Luna's personal guard.
The military was divided into 2 halves, Lunar and Solar, under the rule of Luna and Celestia equally.
The 2 halves were further divided into 3 areas, for the 3 races.
Aviation, Ground Support, and Arcane Forces.
Xero would be a part of Aviation, who typically used ranged weapons because of their distance from the enemies on the ground.
The Ground Support would be something Omega would love, the dirty and gritty job of pummeling the enemy into the ground, or to whatever level of physical harm was specified, and they did not stop until all of the specified hostiles were brought to the same level.
Arcane Forces would come in behind them and clean up the bodies, trained to purge and burn the corpse, if it was one, to ensure that an especially hostile enemy was dead and would not get up again.
However, Xero was a Class 4 General, so he didn't have to do any of that shit, he would stand back and watched the blood fly, or whatever would be flung into the air at that mission.
He and Mogar commanded the Aviation directly, the other 2 CG4s were allowed to make suggestions, but it was ultimately up to the ninja and the scythe wielder.
At least, that's what Xero did at first .
After being put into the position of 'Royal Personnel Guardian', the one who would protect Luna should any dangers rear their ugly head, he was allowed to form a small squad of no more than 4 people.
The leader of the squad, Xero could not stop himself from thinking about what would have happened if he had commanded Bolverk.
<>
Kary walked into the main lobby of Bio Int., under Xero's orders, she would appear normal, then slash that bugger of a desk jockey to pieces.
She did so, which was the signal for the others to enter.
Xero immediately used the Honor, his personalized katana, with a horizontal X for the crossbar, 50 inches of blade, 10 inches of handle, and a small rectangular prism printed with the British flag, all of that, just to slice some guy in half.
Omega came in next, using the Capper, a .44 magnum Deagle modified for extreme energy output and somewhat lighter recoil, to blast some poor sap's head off.
Askad came in and ripped somebody's head open.
Xero made sure everyone in the room was killed before starting his log.
"Begin Log, we've spent a total of 1 minute in Bio Int.'s HQ, and we've killed a total of 30 guards, stats aside, we are here to eliminate the XV alien, like a Genova with no wings, is what I could get from the images we could acquire.
We will kill it, and anyone who gets in our way will die, no exceptions. End of Log." Xero spoke to the recorder.
"Alright, Askad, cut off their bloody radio communications, if they have secure lines, they don't anymore, sever every possible connection.
Askad held his UI section on his glasses for a few moments, then spoke.
"Alright, done." he assured, preparing a grenade.
"Good, looks like we were too late though, here come the reinforcements." the blue clad cyborg shouted.
They came storming down the hall.
"15 terabytes to whoever ices the most." Xero challenged, his Honor and Slicer were already prepared.
They fought.
The fought soldiers, machines, and the infected.
Xero fought XV.
"Omega, get Kary out of here, I'll deal with this cunt." the ninja commanded his gun-toting subordinate.
Omega complied wordlessly, rushing past XV as Xero distracted it with his chainsaw shuriken.
The fight was on.
Using the Honor, the Slicer, the Red Hill, and the mighty 7 part Buster Blade, combining the Honor with several other swords to create a weapon of mass incision.
Again, the Buster Blade.
XV summoned the Judgement Blade, it laughed, and the battle began.
Omega hooked Kary up to the reactor and cleared out the other enemy soldiers, sniping the helicopters down and blasting the fuck out of the infected beings.
The mission was a success.
Kary betrayed them.
They escaped, Xero reached the train station first and drank from his flask, Omega arrived a few minutes later.
"You lost." Xero half-heartedly mocked.
"Well, man, I wasn't aware that it actually was a race." Omega replied, lighting up a cigarette.
"How can you enjoy those things?" Xero did not understand tobacco and its products.
Omega, rather than replying, grabbed Xero's flask and waved it in front of the ex-C.O.'s face, placing it back in his hand after a few seconds.
"Bloody fair enough, I suppose." the ninja responded, taking another swig.
The fight with the cyborgs.
The fight with Kary.
Xero... he would end up dead.
Taken over by XV virus.
"Really now, Xero? You've talked a game bigger than the sun, and right as we were, RIGHT as we were about to get away alive, you can't handle a cold? Come on, pull it together." Omega was backing up from the beast that used to be his CO and his only friend.
The beast only came at him more.
"I said... *deep breath*... KNOCK IT OFF!" Omega gathered his voice and shouted, reaching behind him and pulling up the Light Arrow, XV-Xero had been coming at him with a broken Joy .75 cal pistol, the slide broken and barrel chipped, it wouldn't be able to chamber any more rounds without major repairs.
Xero mustered up enough strength to lock away the XV for a short time.
Omega ended up shooting the only good bullet into Xero's skull, killing the infected blue-skinned man instantly
Omega would live on to be an old man.
Training Enid like a soldier, he would keep the Light Arrow as a memento from his past.
He would die in the heat of a glorious battle.
He would....
Would he end up in Equestria, just like Xero?
The thought snapped Xero back to reality.
<>
"Luna, you will NOT teach Twilight Sparkle, she is to be excommunicated for assaulting royalty." Celestia was pissed off, her wings had healed as much as a pair of stubs would, sawed and filed down to only small bumps on her coat.
Luna would NOT have any of this.
"I will do WHAT I WISH TO! Because I, for one, think that Twilight Sparkle has too much potential to just throw away." Luna was not going to stand for her sister trying to tell her what to do.
"She is a criminal, she is to be deported ASAP." the white alicorn insisted.
"Think, for a moment, sister, what if she came back?" the blue alicorn posed the ugly question.
"What do you mean?" the goddess of the sun demanded the information.
"Xero has influenced all of us but you, and Twilight Sparkle is obviously one of the most changed. I am asking, what if she came back to Equestria, and she attacked you again, only this time, she would actually want to hurt you. Face it, you have brought her to a delicate point, ponies fear the day that the hero turns on them, that the hero, rather than saving lives, would take them instead, I wish to cement her to the side of good, and that is what I will do!" the goddess of the moon argued.
"If you do this, if you try to change the way I have things, I will have to banish you." the light royal's tone was grave.
"You will banish me... over my dead body..." Luna fired up her magic, she had desperately hoped that things would go well, but she had hoped too much, and fate practically shat on her.
Celestia's eye glimmered in fear before she flared up her own magic.
Luna shot first, Celestia was too slow to react, and that costed her dearly.
It costed her her power.
The windows were draped currently, so none of the starry light shined out into the city, it was sunset, after all, and the light would make it look like noon.
This time, there was not a chance for compromise, no, this time, Luna took it all.
Celestia was reduced to a little filly, Luna stood taller and prouder, her dark, space-like mane glittering with a dense field of stars, their colors fading from one to another constantly.
The air stirred into a weak tornado of wind from the power.
Her coat was a rich, lightish blue, royal blue.
Celestia was small now, weak, with only a horn, her wing bones were too small to poke out from her skin, her mane was a light pink.
Luna teleported her now-little-sister away, wiping her memories and sending her to be raised by a good family in Trottingham.
Taking her place on the throne, on HER throne, she waited for her student to arrive.
<>
Twilight was a bit worried, she knew a new spell to reveal the dark state of things, she was trusted almost completely by Luna, almost, because Luna recognized the archmages (incredibly low amount of) limits.
Xero was flying there via motorcycle, with added jet function to boost it with the helicoptor propellors.
Landing inside the city, he found himself on top of a tall-ass tower.
A heart made of crystal was floating there.
He knew better than to disturb glowing artifacts.
Non-glowing artifacts were perfectly safe, like levers, swords, scrolls, and the like.
The others arrived at the train station.
A brief bout of running, and the Mane 6 knew what they had to do.
Make the crystal ponies happy.
Twilight would look for the Crystal Heart, a glowing artifact of power that would save the crystal kingdom.
Cadance chose this moment to black out, right as Twilight reached to top of the stairs.
Xero was still standing there, waiting.
"Xero, you found it already, why didn't you take it?" Twilight querried.
"Something's up, it lacks guards, traps, or anything that would protect it from somepony just waltzing up and grabbing it." the ninja
"I'm sure it's fine," Twilight approached the floating relic.
Using the magnet-like grip hooves were capable of, she grabbed it out of the air.
Black crystal spikes shot up from the ground, trapping her in the circle marked on the ground.
"Twilight!" Xero was shocked by this development.
Twilight barely avoided peeing herself in shock.
The guardsman tried everything he could, everything he HAD, to break the lavender archmage free.
Nothing, not even the Judgement Blades, would break them, it was a magical lock that one could not simply shoot out.
He turned to see the shield around the Crystal Kingdom fading.
Sombra charged into the air.
The brit took to the sky, silencing the roaring abomination with a punch to the snout.
The black-with-white-highlights haired man got ALL up in King Sombra's grill.
"If you open your mouth again, I swear I'm gonna break it." his tone was grave, he did NOT like loud-as-hell roaring.
Sombra was about to roar again when Xero slammed his fist into the monster's jaw.
"If you open your mouth again, dear Luna I cannot take it." the cyborg brought out the Sephiroth and the Wolverines.
A brief flash, a horrible image, a white, featureless face, a mirror, the soldier nearly threw up for a reason he could not decipher.
The black-clad human attacked Sombra at full speed, the Sword of Weakness to Swords was invaluable, all of his weapons were.
Completely demolishing the demonic figure's head before it was blasted away by Twilight doing the smart thing and teleporting out of the crystal prison via the open space above them.
The crystal ponies were happy, Cadence was well again, Shining Armor regained control over his magic.
It was a good time now.
It might change in the future, but right now, it was good.
<>
Xero woke up slowly, it was nighttime, his head hurt, one foot was broken, he was EMPed, his wings where plucked of enough feathers to keep him from flying.
Standing up painfully, he found himself only able to limp slowly, he looked around, the sun was setting, but he could see many tall, thin trees surrounding him on all sides.
He found a small card and a flashlight in front of him, grabbing both slowly, he turned on the light and read the card.
It read 'Find all 8 pages'
He cursed his luck and set off, determined to not fail this time.
Failure this time would mean death.
The hunt was on, both for the pages....
... and the light grey bipedal prey.
Author's Note
sorry about the skimping on the plo-... erm... storyline of the episode, I'm still getting back into the flow of writing.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
"All Purpose" problem solver, a "Sword"
Xero walked through the forest, limping, aching, EMPed, plucked feathers, and worst of all...
Unarmed.
Trudging along the path, he came across a broken down car, a few handfuls of feathers scattered around it.
They were his feathers.
He found a page, a hastily scrawled 'NO ESCAPE' was written on it, with scribbles that resembled trees and a stickpony.
It dissolved into dust, a UI came up into his vision, 1/10, it said.
He could hear a tribal drum beat now, it almost scared the shit out of him at first, but after a little while, it only kept him on edge.
His velvet tread had been reduced to clattering boulders, the metal from the soles of his boots clacked with each step on the gravel/dirt path.
He kept walking, he stopped, he could have sworn a breeze was blowing, warm, calming.
Then he realized it was the middle of autumn.
He spun around, coming face to face with....
.....white.
His vision staticked, the close proximity to magic had reset his cybernetic parts, they only lacked a charge.
He did a 'typical french assault'
Simple, 2 steps:
1; turn around 180 degrees
His foot was feeling better, he was able to run with some modicum of quickness.
He collapsed from pain after a minute or 2, blacking out from a worsening state.
<>
Waking up with a small amount of energy, enough to power his clock and bio-scanner, the ninja was still featherless and aching, but his broken foot was surprisingly healed.
An hour had passed, and his other functions were still shut down.
Standing again, he found a page pinned to a large, thick tree, it read.
'HE PLAYS WITH HIS FOOD, HE LOVES THE HUNT' along with a set of images, a stickpony, a stickpony with a knife and a flashlight, and a dead stickpony, with actual blood splattered onto the paper.
This was new.
2/10
He set off away from the tree, he needed to find another page, and fast.
Coming up into a jog, trying to keep his flashlight steady, he found a tanker truck, rusted, and broken, the parts in the hood had been ground up into dust.
The page nailed to the side read:
'NO EYES, ALWAYS WATCHING' with a tall stickpony.
3/10
A piano started playing, bringing Xero's attention back to the ambience, drums, and a piano, every time the piano stopped, the drum beat, making an almost terrifying symphony.
He ran now, his only desire was to get more pages.
Looking around, trying to not find the white demon, he didn't see where he was going.
He ran right into a brick wall.
He fell back, as Isaac Newpon's Laws of Motion dictated that the wall pushed him back.
He opened his eyes, coming face to face with the white blank horror.
He turned over, face down, hiding the view from sight, reciting the Lady's Prayer with intense speed.
"Our mother, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven, forgive us for our transgressions, as we forgive those who transgress against us, deliver us from evil, disperse the kingdom, for the power, and the glory, and ensure that we wake in the 'morrow." the brit hastily spoke, having memorized the prayer after Luna had blessed him with the Lunar Zanbato, as well as being her personal guard.
He turned over again, refilled with hope, and found the sky, no face or anything.
Getting to his feet, he found another page on a wall perpendicular to the one he ran into.
It read:
'CAN'T RUN, HE ALWAYS CATCHES YOU' along with a set of motion lines made of streaks of blood.
4/10
He turned to walk away, he got a few steps before tripping over something.
He shined his light on his offender.
It was a large, sharp knife.
A weapon.
Something to defend himself with.
He reached out to grab it.
He stopped when the memory of one of the pages came back.
'HE PLAYS WITH HIS FOOD, HE LOVES THE HUNT' it had said, with a picture of a pony.
A pony with a... knife.
And a... dead... pony.
His decelerated mind processed the thoughts.
He was a centimeter from grabbing it.
He stood up again, getting away from the small blade.
After a minute, he heard a loud explosion.
The knife had blown up.
He thought about that.
What if he had taken it?
Then his hunter would be licking his remains off of the ground.
The piano and drums were now accompanied by a violin, creating an ominous, resolve diminishing symphony.
He ran, he needed to get away from here.
His kinetic reactor powered up his healing mechanisms, his staggering rush gradually became a smooth sprint.
He skidded to a halt at a boulder, another page tacked to it.
'DON'T SLEEP, OR ELSE HE WINS' with a picture of a smiling sun and a corpse with sleeping 'Z's coming out of it.
5/10
He smelled something.
Blood.
He ran in the direction he was facing, keeping ahold of his sanity enough to not turn around to look for the source.
The frazzled cyborg found the tanker again.
A hissing noise overpowered the ambience of violin, piano, and drum.
He searched the tank itself, and found a hole, right where the page used to be.
He remembered that a nail held the page to the tank, and now it was leaking.
Filling the forest with...
with....
Taking a sample, Xero found it to be a complex chemical that had the basic result of sleeping gas.
He had to get away, he couldn't fall asleep, he couldn't fight.
He could only find the pages.
<<404 transition not found>>
A concrete tube, forming a tunnel.
A page at one end.
The white pony at the other.
Luckily, the scared soldier was on the page end.
He got a better look at the white pony before it disappeared, it was wearing a suit, black, with a white shirt, and blood red tie.
No face, literally, no eyes, no mouth, no nose, not even holes where these things SHOULD be.
He turned away when his vision started getting really staticky.
Grabbing the page, the frightened black-clad human read it;
'NO EARS, ALWAYS LISTENING' with the pony again, only with his ears being the focus of the image.
"Well then, FUCK YOU BLOODY WANKING CUNTBAG I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A COCK AND DIE!" the shouting helped relieve a large amount of stress.
The oppressing darkness pierced through even his now functioning high-power-nightvision mode on his visor.
6/10
The smell of blood mingled with the sleeping gas, which relentlessly attempted to drown the lone black-with-white-highlights haired man in fatigue.
He jogged for a few minutes, finding a ridiculously tall concrete fence, insurmountable as well, he walked along it for a few minutes, hoping to find a page or at least something to guide him.
An arrow, pointing in a specific direction.
He followed it, hoping for a page so he could end this nightmare.
He found a small, run-down store resting on a wide space of concrete.
The brit flinched at the clacking sound of the metal soles of his boots hitting the pavement.
Walking with his velvet tread again, he entered the store through the blown out glass door.
Several tiny aisles, many old posters.
He stopped on 1 of them.
'UNLIMITED TIME OFFER, SUBMIT YOUR LIFE TO WIN A FREE DEATH/PAGE' the poster read.
1 of the pages was in here.
Walking down the aisles, he looked to the fridge section and immediately lucked out and regretted it.
Inside was a mangled pony body.....
... and a page.
Opening the door, the smell of death and rot assaulted his olfactory senses, he reached for the page when he saw it.
The dirty, bloody fur was cyan.
Looking all over the body, he found the mane and tail were rainbow colored.
Whatever the contents of his stomach, they were held back by one last question.
Yep, cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt for a cutie mark.
*vomiting sounds*
This couldn't be real, it just couldn't.
Hastily grabbing the page and slamming the door shut, he read it.
'YOUR WEAKNESS IS HIS STRENGTH, FEAR YOUR LOVED ONES' it had a broken, bloody heart on it.
He ran to the door again, he saw the white pony, tall and unwavering in the recently started rain.
It tapped its hoof
7/10
Xero ran in one direction, away from it.
He heard a sickening crack, and the sound of a healing spell.
The afraid man dared a look back.
He immediately regretted his decision.
Through the rain and the darkness, he saw it.
He hauled every kind of ass in all sizes AWAY FROM THAT FUCKING THING.
LUNA-DAMNIT THAT'S SCARY!
To make matters worse, the rain made no sound, only made it harder to see.
To completely send the matters up the shit creek without no paddle and cut up hands, the ambient music had completely changed.
Every note threatened to send Xero into an adrenaline-fueled heart attack.
Running for dear life from his undead lover, the alabaster hunter, the oppressing darkness, the rising level of chemically inflicted exhaustion, and a crazed attempt to escape the music itself, he desperately hoped for more electricity.
Throwing caution to the wind and blasting its head off, he cranked up the power on his nightvision, he saw a page glowing in the distance.
It was attached to a pole, he plucked it and read it off;
'ABANDON FEAR ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE' was written on it, with the trees more skillfully drawn, the words lying amongst the penciled in trunks.
The page dissolved, and Xero could here the tapping of a hoof on the dirt.
8/10
"Shit, he's nearby." the hopeless cyborg cursed his luck, looking around to find his hunter and sprinting in the opposite direction.
He ran on, praying to find the next page before he died.
<>
Coming up to a building, the storm still raging on, but nothing he couldn't handle, the droplets of water, rather than making him wet, instead stopped EXISTING when they hit him.
A few cautious sharp turns later, finding his marble pursuer once, he turned into a side room and found a chair with no canvas and a page.
'DON'T TURN AROUND, HE IS ONLY WHERE HE CAN GET YOU' the words were written on the face of his oppressor, the page was actually bleeding.
The tapping of the hoof from far away, in the grass, hit his ears.
He turned around, only to find the undead Rainbow Dash staring at him.
Leaping towards the ninja, bad move on her part, Xero rolled out of the way and ran out of the building, coming into a field of gas tanks.
Walking slowly, he realized something, right as he saw the last page.
The music was so loud, that he could not hear hoofsteps.
His bleached predator could be walking up right behind him, and he wouldn't hear it.
The almost crazed soldier came barreling towards the page.
It read;
'NONE CAN ESCAPE, HE NEVER LOSES' this one was carved into a pony corpse, Xero threw up from the overload of adrenaline, the act actually calming him somewhat.
10/10
Doing a quick motion, like the cross gesture, but with the moon, Xero calmed down, the music did not stop, only hitched for a short time, as a loud, randomly pitched static filled the air.
*BZZZZZZZTT*
*BZZZBZZZZZZTZZTZZZZTTT
10/11
Xero flipped off the entirety of the area around him.
He cursed his luck.
He rushed out of there, running as fast as he could away.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
He ran far.
The brit crashed into a statue.
3 others were with it.
1 statue of Nightmare Moon
1 of Discord.
1 of Xero's oppressor.
And 1 of Xero himself.
He found the page tacked to his own statue
'NO HOPE, NO ONE CAN COLLECT ALL 11 PAGE AND LIVES' was written on it.
The page began bleeding.
It dissolved.
*TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP*
11/11
The ninja was tackled.
He landed face up, the undead horror version of RD pinned him, her jagged mouth roaring in his face.
He closed his eyes and waited for death.
And waited....
...and waited.....
...and waited.....
......
.......................
........................................................................
Light filtered through his eyelids, he opened them to find that it was now daytime.
His wings were still featherless, but his mechanical functions were powered up again.
The zombie Rainbow Dash had been turned into pure black crystal.
Scanning it, he found it to be pure, solidified magic.
It was just an illusion...
...but by what?
*TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP
He slowly turned to see the horror that awaited him.
His white hunter, with his black tux, white shirt, and red tie
Slendermane, there was no doubting it now.
Xero summoned the Wolverines.
Slendermane powered up
Xero brought out the Sephiroth, the Blood Blasters, the upgraded crossbow version of the Light Arrow, and added in the Satan's Executor mask for more power.
Slendy grabbed its face, and ripped open the skin covering the eye sockets and mouth.
Horrible black scleras, no iris, and white pupils, and a jagged lipped mouth that opened a bottomless pit of darkness.
Xero wielded the Sword of Weakness to Swords in his mouth, and used his wings to hold the Steven and the Muramasa.
Slendermane gulped, the single line of long, oily black hairs that made up its actual mane stood on end.
Xero stopped being afraid, his multiple close encounters with death left him a bit scarred, the extremities of gore not being one of his broader learnings.
He stared death in its ugly face now.
A last attempt at breaking him, a horrible sound to pierce his mind and drive him to suicide to stop it.
He stood strong, he had heard the sound many times before.
A few slashes were really all it took.
The horror that plagued the forest, the keeper of the Apocalypse Power of Death itself, was a 'Squishy Wizard'
An eldritch abomination amongst men, a god amongst mage, and all he could take was a few slashes of a sword.
Just a few, it was pathetic.
The soul of Slendermane was ripped from its body, dissolved into nothing, leaving only pure power of Death.
Xero claimed it.
*ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: LORD OF THE APOCALYPSE*
He spread his wings, which had lightened in color, but the feathers had magically regrown, he flew high into the sky.
Landing safely on a large platform, it was the Wonderbolts training camp.
He was back.
Better than before.
So much power inside him....
.... but he couldn't use it.
He was more of a speedster anyways, but still.
Rainbow Dash was immediately at his side, the rest of the Mane 6 and Spitfire, dressed up in her drill sergeant uniform, looked at the pair.
"XERO, I was so worried." the spectral maned mare said, holding the man close.
"Heh heh, did I miss anything?" he jokingly remarked.
That earned him a slap upside the head.
He took it without wince or even pain, The power over War, Death, Strife, and Fury granted him a few bonuses to compensate for lack of direct utility.
He just fell onto his cyan mare's back, letting her carry him.
He needed to regain his strength to face whatever would come for him in the future.
Author's Note
.....and it's here, Slendy got killed, and Xero gains even more badassery points.
images and videos belong to whoever they actually belong to.
all of them, all of them across all of the story, belong to whoever they belong to.
Except the title picture, the title picture is my own edit.
I hope you all enjoyed this, I know I did, next part coming soon.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Try to be a bit less creepy, a bit more friendly, a bit less angry, a bit more nice
Xero sat at his desk, writing up new files.
He was making a suit of armor for his pony form.
A slightly altered design of his human form's armor was enough for the body, but a new headpiece was needed.
A mask, with hinges and everything, it was a skull, which covered most of the front of his face, and his muzzle.
The lower jaw was fully mobile with his mouth, with sharp, demonic teeth in the form of metal spike-like plates.
He had based it off of the 'Ghosts' section of the military, with a cyborg twist and a personal touch.
His long, dreadlock-like mane would be protected by a nano fiber weave, which allowed his hairs through, but not blades or bullets.
The liberal movement that leather armor provided was not affected by the way it protected him from a surprisingly high amount of things.
At least, by 'protect', I mean 'not get hit'
He could easily dodge anything, even a shotgun blast or a sniper rifle round, the former is hard because it goes EVERYWHERE! The latter is hard because it goes TOO FAST!
Why was he even doing this?
He had realized something after the incident with Slendermane.
No matter how prepared he was, bad things would happen, preparation only made it easier.
His equipment was all ready, his armor was as good as he could get it, his body was more than ready.
They say that martial arts skill is like wine, it gets better with age.
Xero had been in the martial arts game for 91 years.
Old man Miyagi and Bruce Lee would get absolutely fucked up.
That being said, the primary purpose of this armor was to protect himself in pony form.
Making the final measurements, right down to the finish on the metal of his skull mask being brushed silver, and an algorithm that changed his weapons from pony form locking to human form locking, he set off.
The ninja had been requested to help look over the Apple Family Reunion.
<>
Arriving on the scene, the ninja found only Applejack setting things up.
"So, where the bloody hell is everypony?" the brit asked, still in human form.
"They're on their way sugarcube, just wait a smidgeon." the orange farmpony replied, nailed a banner to a post.
"I see, well then, I'll just get ready myself." the cyborg replied, willing himself into pony form and bringing in his armor.
"I don't see why ya need ta-" the usually calm earth pony looked at her friend in fear.
"Ooooh, let me guess, the mask is too much?" the armored pony guessed.
After an anxious nod from AJ, Xero removed the mask and dismissed it to storage.
"Geez, partner, that sure is somethin' scary" the relieved mare remarked, getting back to her tasks.
"I would hope so, it IS a scare tactic, after all." the black-with-white-highlights maned stallion responded, looking to a tree and giving it a poke.
"Well then, it sure is effective, sugarcube, so, I'm sure yer job will be plenty easy, what with yer experience an' all." AJ assured, setting up a line of baskets for apples.
"Yeah, I'm not some stupid genius type, menial and hard labor are pretty easy for me." Xero reassured, giving the tree he was at a hard buck, knocking the apples off of it.
"Labor? Xe, I need ya to guard us." the orange mare was a bit worried sounding when delivering this statement.
"What? Guarding? Now, Applejack, I'll have you know that I did not join the Royal Guard to guard ponies, I joined it for the power and booze, and the honor, and the service to what I sometimes consider 'my country', and serving Luna, and a lot of stuff actually, but I'm not a guardian , that's not what being a guard is about, I need to go anyways, here's a bucket of apples for my services, and some money." Xero didn't really mean what he was saying, but the joke was too hilarious to pass up.
"What? But, but that is completely contradi-, contra-, con-... YER LYIN'."AJ was upset by this development.
"You're all a bunch of strong, healthy, earth ponies, you can handle yourselves, I need to be a good brother anyways, my schedule says 'BYFC', here's some payment for my services. See? I'm even paying you for me doing work for you." Xero took to the air and tossed down a few dark bits and his bucket of apples he had bucked.
Flying away with intense speed, the british ninja cyborg stallion made his way home.
<>
Scootaloo walked into the cloud house to find Xero laying on the couch, in pony form, laughing his flanks off.
"What's so fucking hilarious?" the orange filly meant well, she wanted to laugh too.
"*wheeze* HA HA, o-HA-okay, so-o-*wheeze* so, get this, okay? I go to my errand with Applejack, and turns out, she wants me to be a GUARD for her family reunion. A GUARD, HA HA HA *wheezing laugh* OH SHIT THAT'S FUNNY." the hard breathing stallion explained, his sides being thoroughly removed from laughter.
"I don't get it?" Scootaloo was missing the joke.
"The joke is that, I'm a Royal Guard, it's literally my job to guard ponies, AND I DIDN'T." the black-with-white-highlights maned pony broke down in laughter again.
"Oh, okay then, hey, it's about half an hour until the Best Young Flyer's Competition, we should be heading out now." the purple maned pegasus noted, going behind the couch and pushing her brother off of it.
"Right, *ahem* let's go, heh heh heh, it's still funny to me." Xero flared his metal shielded wings and got into a hover, letting his little sister lead the way.
Soaring off to Cloudsdale, the siblings were determined to show their skills.
Scootaloo would show her skills in flying.
Xero would show his skills in taking down corrupt organizations.
<>
It had been approximately 30 seconds since Scootaloo had signed up for the BYFC.
Rainbow Dash glided into the scene, right into the middle of Xero's pep talk
"And remember, you're better than them, they're good, your better, they have tricks, you have stunts, they have style, you have more style, the have swag, you have S.W.A.G., which is short for 'Style, Wisdom, Awesomeness, Grace', you got this, sis, you got this, now go in there and WIN THIS SHIT!" the older sibling hyped.
Scootaloo gave a salute and glided off to the competitors area.
"Wow, that's some pep talk." the spectral maned mare joked, giving her lover a playful punch in the side.
"Yeah, I know, now, Dashie, if you'll excuse me, I need to deal with a factory." the soldier was now somber, getting into a hover and looking towards the weather factory.
"The Cloudsdale Weather Factory? Why?" the cyan pegasus querried.
"Well, let's just say, I hope you don't dye." The stallion smirked at his joke, did a last second check of his equipment, and soared off.
He flew for a minute or 2, looking for the big, industrial building, he peered out into the wide blue expanse, finding the giant structure easily.
Flying extremely fast, the ninja prepared for what he needed to do.
Entering the large, marble-like doors, he dodged the workers with a few quick movements, turning invisible with his special 'Covert Covenant Predator' machine, infinite, like the predator aliens, water-proof, like the covenant aliens, and invisible, like invisible anything.
Sneaking past a pair of beefy guards blocking the path to the second floor, the soldier navigated his way up.
Coming out into a large room, filled with machines that churned and chugged away, filling the massive chamber with enough noise to overpower the sound of walking.
Even if he didn't have his velvet tread and silk aerodynamicism, he would be unheard.
Dodging workers, all dressed up in black with red, blue, or yellow manes and tails, he looked for anything exceptionally suspicious.
Finding a small, concealing chariot pulling into the room, got close enough to hear what was going on.
"Hello failures , welcome to the Weather Factory, floor 2, the Rainbow Sector." a tall dark stallion greeted cruelly.
"I am Dr. Atmosphere, you will not talk out of turn and you will follow me when I tell you to." the Dr. explained.
"When will we know when it's our tu-" the afraid filly was cut off by an airhorn.
A red maned worker stopped working and stood at attention.
Dr. Atmosphere shot the attentive worker in the head with a crossbow bolt.
"THAT WAS THE AIRHORN, NOT THE WHISTLE YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" the tourettes stallion reprimanded the dead employee.
"Find a replacement for 31-A, 31-B and C, keep working." the stout pegasus commanded.
"You will follow me, now, if you lag behind, you will be tazed, if you do it again, you get harvested first." his tone was now grave, he turned and walked away, the group following him.
Xero was about to follow too, but an errant bolt of lightning from one of the many machines shut his invisibility machine off.
A female guard saw him and immediately charged at him.
He stopped the charging mare with a hoof applied squarely to her face.
"Don't, even, try, bitch." the black clad soldier threatened.
"Agh, well then, welcome back, Director A.." the guard pony greeted in a friendly tone
"Um, right, I don't think I'll ever understand these, uh, factory greeting procedures." the ninja did not understand what was going on, but 2 things were apparent, his choice of armor style also functioned as a disguise, and he needed to keep the illusion that the disguise provided.
"It's for security, Director, to make sure that nopony tries to come in here and imitate you, gaining clearance to the whole facility, allowing them to sneak in and probably take us down from the inside." the unknowing mare had just stated exactly what was happening right now.
The guard led Xero down a hallway.
"Right, security, well listen, I'm just here to check up on all of the operations, I'm not in the mood to chat." the sneaky stallion informed.
"Unlike your lover." the guard joked, giving a giggle.
"*ahem* WAT." the brit could not muster a better, more intelligent, or more complex response.
"Well, Director G. has requested me to collect you and bring you to her, she wishes to talk to you." the other pegasus explained, opening the door to one of the rooms, a meeting room.
"And here she is." the mare said, pushing the stallion into the room and closing the door.
Xero was about to respond when a lovely voice greeted his ears.
"Ah, Carver, finally, how was your vacation?" a sand coated mare with a green and yellow colored mane and tail greeted, she smelled of spiciness and rain.
"Ah, G, it was lovely, how've you been." Xero was stressing now, this mare, whoever she was, was giving him bedroom eyes.
The cyborg reluctantly sat down next to her.
"I've been good, just a bit riled up in anticipation for the harvest today." G responded, pointing to a pair of goggles slung around her neck by the band.
"Ah yes, what's the turnout this time?" Xero had no fucking clue how to respond, he knew that genocide was going on here, but he didn't know how exactly.
"Almost 100, our biggest to date." G answered.
"I'm not sure whether that's good or bad." Xero contemplated, trying to sound like he was on her side with this.
"Well, I know that you're good ." G assured, standing up and trotting out of the room, brushing her tail under Xero's chin as she passed him.
When she was gone, Xero burned his uppermost neck clean.
A few minutes later, he realized that time was a factor at play here, and went to leave.
He stopped right as the doorknob turned.
Another pony entered, wearing almost the exact same outfit he was wearing.
Xero hid behind the door, waiting for the stallion to sit before sneaking up behind him.
The mysterious whipped around and pointed a 4 inch long gladius at Xero.
"Who are you?" both of them asked at the same time.
"Xero Termveli, personal guard of Princess Luna and wielder of the Lunar Zanbato, though I don't have right now." Xero introduced himself, sounding fancy.
"Carver Attainer, Director A of the factory, lover of Director G, Glaze, your mistake too, I have a knife." Carver introduced, moving the knife slightly closer.
"HA, that's not a knife." Xero laughed, summoning one of the Boomknives, his 9 inch long explosive ballistic knifes with bladed trench grip.
"That's a knife ." he assessed, sounding as Australian as possible.
"Well then." the opposing stallion drew a wheellock pistol.
"That's not a pistol either." Xero sat back on his haunches and summoned one of the Joy Colts.
"That's a pistol ." the brit informed, still sounding australian.
Carver Attainer pulled on a ski mask with a skull print.
"That's not a mask." Xero rebuked, equipping the Ghost Bone (the metal fear tactic mask).
"THAT'S A FUCKING MASK YOU CAN'T WIN HERE YOU CUNT GET IT THROUGH YOUR BLOODY SKULL, I'LL HOOK U IN THE GABBER M8." Xero was just below shouting.
With the Joy Colts being silenced, a simple shot and a stab was all it took to kill the real Director A.
Taking the body below the floor, Xero walked out for the room, making his way to the room Dr. Atmosphere had gone to.
Remembering what direction the stout stallion had faced, he went along the walls and found a hallway.
Going down it, he found a room with a thundering black door.
Walking through the door without opening it, he turned visible again, and invisible again as soon as possible.
The lights were on, a giant machine with a mechanical arm that ended with a knife and a tube, took up a large part of the upper area, a bottom floor held about 8 dozen pegasi, a few had already been processed, pure colors of the rainbow flowed through pipes in the machine, taken to be cleaned, purified, electrolyzed for the neon effect, and sent out all over the country.
Flying up to the top of the room, onto one of the suspended pathways, on 1 of them stood Glaze, wearing a black cloak with the hood down.
She pulled a lever, which stopped another arm, one with a table that grabbed ponies, and activated the knife arm to drain them of color.
Turning visible again, with the eyes of his metal mask glowing with red tech-lenses, he started a song and turned it to environment play.
This plays the song like an iPod with no headphones, for example.
He could hear Glaze's morale draining out of her bladder.
She turned around to see him.
What she saw looked something like this
Her morale drained twice as fast.
Xero raised one hoof, using his coolant to make it ice cold, and stroked her face.
Her morale was drained entirely in one large burst.
He turned and bucked her upside the chin, dropping her to the bottom floor.
He grabbed the lever to turn it to 'grab pony' mode.
"HEY GLAZE!" he shouted the 30 feet down, turning into a human again.
The sand colored pony looked up.
Xero flipped the pegasus off and flipped the lever on.
She was grabbed by the table.
She was stabbed and drained of color.
Xero blasted the machine with the Judgement Blades.
The Rainbow Harvester 11.1 blew up.
The top floor of the facility quietly collapsed.
Xero killed off all of the corrupt workers and guards.
The pegasi were freed.
Xero quickly flew to the BYFC.
He still had to see Scoots's performance.
<>
Constructing a better way of harnessing rainbows, Xero snuck into the deluxe viewer hallway.
He was tackled.
The crazed mare that faced him was completely grey, he knew who it was immediately.
Glaze had survived the stab, evident from the stab wound on her stomach area.
He kicked her off of his body and pinned her, mutilating her neck and crushing her spine, eviscerating her head, and mining her face with the pickaxe-type blade of the Light Arrow's crossbow upgrade.
Disintegrating the body, the british ninja cyborg soldier black-with-white-highlights haired human stood up again, walking calmly to his balcony seat.
Requesting a glass of fine, strong liquor, he watched some poor sap spin out while trying to make a tornado.
Recieving a glass of clear liquid, he asked what it was.
"It's Rain Strain, sir, genuine pegasus liquor, a fermented mixture of rain water,sugar, and spice, basically, it has rainbow tint to it because of crystal refraction and color absorbtion, it's the 4th most requested liquor by her Royal Highness, the majestic Princess Luna." the waiter explained.
"Right behind what, what, and what?" Xero was curious, he did not know that Luna was an alcoholic.
"After 4th, which, again, is Rain Strain genuine pegasus liquor, is 3rd, Starswirl Vodka, classic unicorn made, magic infused citrus water, 2nd, Applejack Daniels, Apple Family old time whiskey, and 1st, Gentle Ager's blueberry wine, from Great Brimain." the servant listed.
"Okay, I'm surprised you know this." Xero remarked.
"Why would I not? I am, after all, the princess's Royal Booze Fetcher, one of the most recent additions to the Royal Services, right after Royal Personal Guard Squad and right before Royal Regalia Maintainer, though the latter makes more sense, seeing as how our ruler is immortal and does not need additional protection besides her own power." the humble stallion monologued.
"Cool, sod off, because I'm the former, and I get pissed off really easily." the soldier commanded.
"Of course, sir." the pony obeyed, backing away and trotting away.
The swordsman looked back, the poor sod was gone, replaced by Scootaloo, just now coming out.
*CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP*
"I thought I said SOD OFF!" the tourettes man rebuked.
"I don't know what sod is , Xe." it was Rainbow Dash, and she was giggling.
"Ah, Dashie, the only good instance of seeing a rainbow I've had all day." the soldier joked, taking a deep drink of his glass of Rain Strain.
"Getting drunk already, I see." the cyan mare noted, taking a seat next to the raymanian human.
"I love booze, what can I say? Come on, Scootaloo's starting." the cyborg informed, scooting his seat forward to get a better look.
The pair watched the orange filly, she looked so grown up, from filly size to almost full size in only 2 years.
Her movements were filled with skill and joy, a whole 1 minute had passed and she had already done 10 laps around the cloudiseum.
She turned upside-down, and made an upside-down tornado, something that most professionals wouldn't even concieve the thought of, and even less could actually do it.
Compiling a metric shit-tonne of clouds into a super-ultra-mega cloud, compressing it down to an extremely small, black form, she struck it, sending out a shockwave and about a hundred powerful bolts of lightning.
Drawing the Shankers, her knives, she made art, an image of the night sky.
Then, as the final part of her act, she flew up extremely high, leaving her massive artwork about 300 meters above the cloudiseum.
She was practically in space right now, she could have sworn she could hear beautiful singing.
"I'm so high, I can hear heaven." she whispered, before folding her wings in and diving down.
She dived fast and hard.
(Just fucking imagine Felix Baumgartner, okay?)
Right as she passed the artwork, she broke the sound barrier.
It was still...
...... The Sonic Starboom.
Everypony was shocked speechless, then burst into deafening cheers and applause.
Scootaloo slowed herself down and expertly did a 180 turn to go up, using the momentum to launch herself back up to the cloudiseum.
She hovered in the middle of it all, taking in the applause.
A set of clouds were moved in to act as platforms, Scootaloo stood on 1 of them, a bit shaky and fatigued from her performance.
"Well, Scootaloo, it's absolutely wonderful to see that 'being an awesome flyer' runs in the family." Luna greeted cheerfully, levitating the BYFC winner's tiara, shaping the gold piece at the top into a 5 pointed star, just like the centerpiece of the purple maned filly's cutie mark.
"That was bloody awesome sis." Xero praised as he walked up onto the scene
"Great work, Scoots." RD gave her own praise, rustling the younger pegasus's purple mane.
Scootaloo's eyes lit up in delight.
"Come on Scoot, finest liquor in all the world, on me." Xero said, getting into a hover.
"Do you mean...." Luna was happy to join in.
"Yep, Gentle Ager's blueberry wine." the cyborg answered.
The group did a 4-way hoof bump, Xero turning to pony form just for that, and they all set off.
<>
"So, from the top, we don't drink alcohol, we drink spirits, so we're not alcoholics, we're spiritualists." Xero philosophized, taking another long drink of the blueberry wine.
"Right, which makes what we're drinking good for us, body and soul." Scootaloo continued.
"And no matter how much, we'll be okay, because we're all strong like that." RD added her own line.
"Plus, we can't forget, delicious=nutritious." Luna recited her line.
"And this shit is cunt-fucking tasty." Xero finished, slamming back a whole bottle.
And they drank, and drank, and drank.
And drank, until they passed out.
When Xero awoke again, he noticed that he was the first one to rise.
Taking the duty of fetching water, the black clad man first needed to find out where the hell the group ended up.
Looking around the hallway, he found that they were at the castle.
Walking to a window, the soldier saw that he was in the SG4 sector, for the Class 4 Generals.
Seeing a servant making rounds to check on any requests, the cyborg called out to her.
"Oi, you there." Xero half-shouted.
"Ah, General Xero, is there something you need?" the servant asked sweetly.
"Yes, be a dear and fetch me 4 liters of water." the brit ordered.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with that measurement, sir." the mare replied apologettically.
"Ugh, fine then, sorry if I'm being rude, I have a bit of a hangover, get 4 gallons of water, and add some mint and analgesics to them as well."
"Alright, I'll have it to you in a few minutes, sir." the servant assured, taking off to the kitchen.
Xero smiled, the authority he had was nice.
Re-entering his bedchamber, he prepared a song to punish the 3 mares for not waking up sooner.
Getting ready to activate his speakers, Scootaloo raised her head and looked at him.
"I swear, if you RickRoll us, I'm going to punch you." the orange filly threatened.
"Please, sis, I'm much to advanced for something so simple. " the cyborg dismissed.
He activated the speakers.
His sister, his lover, and his princess all woke up immediately.
"DUBROLLED BITCHES!" he shouted over the very loud song.
The 3 mares groaned in pain.
A few seconds after the song ended, there was a knock on the door.
A strong looking stallion carrying Xero's order of mint and painkiller water was standing there.
"Thanks dude." the young general said in gratitude, grabbing each container and closing the door with his foot.
"Number 1 hangover cure, water, and shit, but not shit though, that's nasty and doesn't help with anything." the black clad human announced.
Turning the corner to the main room of his chamber, it was like a hotel room, a small area for storing food and water, like half of a kitchen, a bathroom on 1 side, and the main room was also the bedroom.
He saw Scootaloo clipping the Shankers, her awesome combat knives with curved blade and serrated back, to the Cappers, her .50 AE 10 round mag Deagles.
The end result was like a badass bayonetting.
Rainbow Dash was stretching her wings, legs, neck, and everywhere else on her body.
Luna had her magic flared up, probably casting some type of healing spell on herself.
"Oi, got a bit o' ethanol, set a fire, put it out with water, got some water, I have no idea what the hell I'm even saying, but drink up." the brit had attempted too much thinking in his somewhat dehydrated and hungover state.
The group of 4 downed the entirety of the water in a few minutes.
"Alright, so, now that that's over with, let's either do something else, or go home." the man of many titles announced.
"Well, I'm already home, and I need to get back to my duties as sole ruler of the land, farewell, my beloved subjects." Luna assessed, trotting away.
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo waved goodbye.
Xero did a gesture, a large circle, several dots, and an odd top-heavy wisp, it was the Lunar Guard equivalent of the cross gesture.
A moon, with craters and her majesty's head on it.
It was time to leave.
Not one to neglect basic skills, Xero took to the ground and parkour/ninja maneuvered his way across the city, keeping his hands constantly flipping off the ponies that he so eloquently referred to as 'posh fuckwits'.
Approaching the edge of Canterlot, he did a trick-dense jump into the air, landing lightly on his feet again, the cyborg jumped over the city limits.
Keep in mind that the 'city limits' are the edges of the platform that Canterlot is built on.
Meaning he basically just jumped off of a cliff.
Falling aerodynamically, he flared his wings and took the wind by the reins and beat it into submission.
It was a rush that he did NOT want to give up, and he never would.
He couldn't help but feel like he had forgotten something.
Something heavy and sharp.
No, not the Masamune, no, not the Lunar Zanbato, what was it?
He had all the time he needed to figure it out.
He wasn't going anywhere.
He was at home, here in Equestria.
Xero had finally accepted that he wasn't going to wake up in hell, or back on earth, or in limbo, or some other shit like that.
Equestria was his home, his place, his country.
And he loved his country.
Author's Note
So.... yeah, Xero has finally gotten over his extreme doubt, ninjas tend to have that, but 2.5 years is the accepted limit of their doubt *cough nobodyhaseversaidthat cough* huh? that was a weird cough.
I can not be held responsible for any offense that may be conveyed for using certain famous OCs to fill positions that I find they are appropriate candidates to fill.
I can, however, hold responsibility for any offense that may be conveyed for the act of me calling you a fuckwit, you fuckwit. (just kidding, you're not a fuckwit)
This story is getting along well, I personally think.
next chapter coming soon enough.
I <3 you all, byeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Xero is old as the "Masamune" and wise as shit
Xero woke up falling.
Apparently, he had been moving in his sleep, and broke through his bed.
Taking into a hover, he flew back up and patched in the hole in the clouds.
Dressing in his blue jacket, with his white shirt and grey circle underneath, his boots and gloves from his armor would be fine.
It looked out of place, his gloves and boots, he had a thought, imagining Omega, wearing a red hoodie, with his full metal plate boots and Ballistic Gloves.
His mind wandered a bit, Omega's gloves with Kary's blades on them.
THAT would be a sight.
Taking off, wishing to find some entertainment, otherwise it would be another day with the old Xbox 360(tm).
Doing whatever manuevers he pleased, he did a high flying check of each area (which is about 100 meters here), coming back at half the altitude, and again at half of that.
He found a hilarious sight, Spike trying to help Applejack.
Watching the pair, he suddenly found Spike stacking up a giant pile of rocks, with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash standing near Applejack, the latter was hovering.
He saw his lover take in a big gulp of fear, he knew where this was going.
*CRACK CLACKA CLACKA CLACKA*
"AAAAOOOOOOWWWW, SHIT!" the mare shouted in pain.
Xero cracked up in laughter.
Everyone looked up at the boisterous man.
"WOW, THAT, *continued laughter*" he couldn't muster anything more.
Rainbow Dash flew up to him with a blushing, frowny pouty face on.
"Awwww, come here, I'm sorry for making fun of you because you got owned by a pile of rocks." the various parts of his personality conspired against his mind, reducing the conveyed feelings significantly.
The cyan pegasus only frowned more and hugged him, there in midair.
Xero was not shocked, the 2 had developed a strong emotional bond, despite their own personalities making it harder.
He ran a hand through her mane, sneakily injecting some painkillers as he passed.
"Oohhhh, you don't have to pretend to be sad." the black-and-white haired human assured, comforting her.
"Eeehhhh, alright." the spectral maned pony replied, detaching from him after a few more seconds.
Xero gave a wave to the other 2 mares and flew off.
He felt like going to the clothing shop.
<<'not really' transition>>
Arriving at the library, where he REALLY wanted to be, he pushed the door open, finding it oddly open.
It was a public library, so the door being unlocked was not wierd at all, actually.
The sign said CLOSED, and the door was unlocked, usually Twilight would lock the door when she closed, she had probably forgotten, it was understandable with her busy life, but nopony was in the main room.
Walking inside anyways, he found that all of the lights were on.
Strange, nopony was here, as far as he could tell, he looked around, the main room, all of the side rooms, the kitchen, and finally, upstairs.
Carefully strolling up the carved wooden stairs, the curious man found himself in the loft, another flight of steps and he was in Twilight's bedroom.
"Hmmm, okay, carry the 2, subtract the 17, and multipy the whole thing by 5, aaaaand, done, alright, time to send it." the studious pony monologued.
"I could send it there, if you want?" Xero piped up.
"AH, oh, Xero, it's just you, have you seen Spike? No offense, but I think he's a lot more qualified for the job." the lavender unicorn said, turning fully around to look at her friend.
"Spike is over at Sweet Apple Acres, doing chores for Applejack, and from what I could tell, AJ did not want him doing anything . I'm thinking, and this is from years of experience in the 2 most dragon-heavy countries in the world, Great Brimain and Japone, I'm thinking that she may have accidentally triggered his honor code." the wise young man philosophized.
"Honor code?" Twilight was not aware that dragons had such a thing.
"Yes, the code of honor for dragons, they are mighty, deadly, powerful creatures, so, in a lasting act of benevolence, they created a Code of Honor for those who are more mighty, deadly, and powerful than they are." the cyborg paced as he recalled the memories.
The words came back to him, the 6 steps of the dragon code of honor;
1: Be saved from a fatal threat or be bested in battle, and be spared, this kindness will oblige the dragon to not kill their victor, returning the kindness on a basic level.
"Wow, I didn't know any of that, so, what phase is Applejack on?" the dark blue-with-pink and purple streaks maned archmage querried, she needed to analyze the situation to formulate a plan.
"She's on the start of phase 3, and she's not going anywhere." Xero answered, summoning the Lunar Zanbato and giving the flat a quick stroke with a finger.
"And because I know you want to ask, you're in the middle of step 6 of 6, enough bonding to become best friends and be a rider of the dragon. Spike is too young for his wings to grow in, but if you live long enough, he will no doubt allow you to be his rider." the soldier assured, strapping Twilight's papers and reports to the Lunar Zanbato and sending both the blade and the book-knowledge to Luna.
"AAAAAAHHH, what did you just do?!?!" Twilight was worried now, Spike could wait 5 minutes, but her reports had taken her 3 straight days to complete.
"I just sent them off to Luna, don't worry, my faith stat is high enough for something like that to be perfectly well and accepted." the gamer in him did not let the chance slip by.
"What do you mean 'faith stat', Xero?" Twilight was now more confused than worried.
"My faith stat, I am close enough to Luna for me to be blessed with her disciple-only armaments, the Lunar Zanbato, and probably some armor that I haven't found yet, so me sending her the work from her student is okay, I could probably even do a prayer and get some invigorating blessing or something." Xero explained.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense, sort of, anyways, let's get back to recovering Spike." the archmage got back on track.
"Alright then, Twi, I'll go do some recon, I'll be back in a few minutes." the soldier slipped into tactile skills at this point, gently opening the window, then violently taking off at extreme speeds away, sending blank pieces of parchment and loose quills to the floor.
Twilight sighed and used her magic to clean up and re-sort her haphazardly tossed materials.
Xero could be a real gun-jumper sometimes.
<>
Gliding down to the young dragon he was looking for, he started a casual walking conversation.
"What's up, dude? What are you doing?" the ninja started, easily sliding out of 'intelligent' mode and into 'casual' mode.
"Just helping Applejack with whatever she needs, I owe her my life." the purple dragon replied simply, picking up a tuft of hay, turning around, and walking to a pile he was making.
"What did she do?" the soldier asked, curious.
"She saved my life when I was being attacked by a trio of timberwolves." Spike sounded a bit solemn, but he tossed the tuft of hay into the receiving pile, and walked back to the dealing pile.
"Timberwolves, like, literally, wolves made of timber?" the brit was a bit incredulous.
"Yes, exactly what it says on the box, 'timber wolves', dude, it's obvious." the green and purple youngling continued talking while performing his monotonous task.
"So, timber, which is wood, and wood is flammable, no?" Xero was getting onto something here.
"Yes." Spike replied dully.
"And you're a dragon, no?" Xero was definately getting somewhere here.
"Yes......" Spike replied dully again, though a hint of offense was present.
"Yes, you're a dragon, and dragons breathe fire, right?" the brit was putting off his point.
"Right." the small purple dragon wasn't sure where the cyborg was going with this.
"So, you're a dragon, who breathes fire, and you needed to be saved from timberwolves, who are made of timber, which is wood, which is flammable." the soldier assessed.
"Correct, your point?" Spike was getting a bit annoyed at his friend's constant delay of a point to this.
"YOU COULD HAVE JUST TORCHED THE BLOODY THINGS, THEY'RE MADE OF WOOD, AND YOU CAN BREATHE FIRE, YOU IDIOT, YOU FORGOT TO CHECK YOURSELF, SO YOU WRECKED YOURSELF, YOU STUPID TWAT!" Xero screamed like a drill sergeant.
"Calm your balls, dude, I made a mistake, and now I'm paying for it." Spike already knew that he could have saved himself, but he stopped brooding and took his punishment like a man.
"Well, damn, I'll just go then." Xero lifted off into a hover, and blasted off in some direction.
The speedster did what he did best.
Go fast.
<>
Touching down next to Applejack, the human turned into pony form, mask absent, and decided to throw in some free help, seeing his orange friend working so hard made him feel bad for distracting her.
Bucking a tree, the brit started.
"So, you and me, forest, find a timberwolf, run from it like little babbies, have Spike torch the fucker, and you'll be free from his help for as long as you don't have to save his life again, deal?" Xero's inner conspirator helped in this situation.
"I'm not sure if that would work, sugarcube, I'm not one for the damsel in distress act." AJ replied.
"LUNA-DAMNIT AJ, YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY NOT BEING IN DISTRESS!" Xero wasn't particularly angry and his friend, his tourettes was just acting up again.
"Calm down, Xe, I'm not sure iffin I can just 'run away' neither." the orange farmer reworded.
"Hold out both of you forehooves." Xero commanded.
The farmer pony did as instructed, though not sure why.
Xero grabbed both of her hooves and flew her up into the air, about 2 miles high.
"AAAAAAAHHHH, XERO, PUT ME DOWN!" Applejack was genuinely in distress.
"Here's a parachute." the cyborg ignored her pleas and put a parachute onto the squirming mare.
"I SAID PUT ME DOWN!" Applejack screamed.
"CALM YOUR TITS, I'm going to put you down know, 1 piece of advice before I do though." the brit insisted.
"WHAT IS IT?" Applejack was still yelling.
"Okay, pull the cord to deploy your parachute, that's all you have to do, but one last piece of advice." the soldier insisted further.
"WHAT?" the apple family worker demanded.
"If your parachute fails to deploy, don't worry, you have the rest of your life to figure out what to do." he was a gigantic jackass for this, but he let her go.
The 'advice' Xero had given only registered fully the second before he let go of her.
Applejack screeched in fear, desperately pulling the cord, only to have the 'parachute' deploy a small, thin napkin, which broke instantly.
"So, will you help me find a timberwolf and get Spike the hell off of your back?" Xero descended to eye level with the scared mare.
"Can he get offa mah front? I like his back scratches." Applejack was calmed by the fact that Xero would not let her fall to her death.
"Fine, fuck, I'll save your ass then." the cyborg was not happy with the orange mare making suggestions for his plan.
Nonetheless, he still saved her, and flew the pair to the Everfree forest.
<>
Xero, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight trotted through the forest.
Applejack was there to do the running part.
RD would be able to see the timberwolf.
Twilight would be able to identify if it was, indeed, a timberwolf.
Xero was there to manage everything.
A loud, deep growl was heard.
Giant beast, it's some sort of 'Super Timberwolf'
Xero was pretty sure that wolves were NOT FUCKING 20 FEET TALL.
"Whelp, you 3 know what this means?" he was met with silence, except for the stench of rotting wood and plant matter from the timberwolf's heavy breathing.
"Initiate Operation: RUN LIKE HELL!" the ninja cyborg soldier had already turned around and was know using all of his speed skills to, well, run like hell.
The 3 mares took their own approach, Applejack turned and sprinted away, Rainbow Dash flew away, and Twilight teleported.
Xero and Applejack ran, and ran, rushing and sprinting and barreling towards the farm, right now, speed and direction was the only thing that mattered.
Xero turned into human form again and equipped his full armor, mask and all, and shouted back to the pony and the beast.
"HA, YOU CAN'T OUTRUN ME, I'M BLACK!" it was racist, yes, but it was hilarious, and he was kinda literally black , well, grey is close enough, and it IS a medium grey, which IS technically close enough to the actual color black.
"I DUNNO HOW TA RESPOND TA THAT, SO I'LL JUST KEEP RUNNIN', THANKS!" Applejack yelled to him.
Xero responded by going even faster, he felt like when he used the effects command in Minecraft to give his avatar swiftness 127 (it's a real thing, too, the highest number you can effectively get without the effect inverting, it makes you go 26.4x normal speed).
Breaching the treeline with at least half a minute to spare, he saw Spike conveniently having moved on to a different pile of hay, one about 50 meters from the forest.
"SPIKE, GET READY TO FIGHT!" he shouted, skidding to a halt.
"AAAAHH, WHAT, I don't know what you mean!" Spike was panicking, having an elite warrior run up to you and say 'prepare to fight' would easily inspire fear.
"There is a GIANT ASS TIMBERWOLF running here RIGHT NOW, I only have swords, no axes or smashing weapons, I'm actually kind of screwed, but YOU, YOU CAN TORCH THAT FUCKER!" Xero had actually not been startled from the massive beast, it was purely an act.
"I don't know if I can!" the small purple dragon was a bit doubtful of his abilities.
"CHECK YOURSELF MAN, you've got these scales of toughness, you have these spines of coolness, and, most immediately important, you CAN BREATHE FIRE!" Xero was running out of time, the booming of the attackers heavy running was getting ever so nearer.
"Get into a fighting stance and USE THAT DRACONIC POWER!" Xero instructed, spreading his wings and flying high into the air.
Watching the scene unfold, Xero waited for the epics, the lols, and more.
Applejack sprinted through the treeline, barreling towards Spike at high speeds.
"SPIKE, HELP ME!" she screamed, she was starting to get tired, but she managed to get past Spike without staggering her speed.
The humble mare promptly collapsed.
Spike turned to the treeline, a giant timberwolf, about 25 times larger than a normal one, stalked out of the forest.
The small dragon faced the beast, which looked down upon him with a predatorial visage.
Spike breathed in deep, focused his fire energy, and let loose.
A solid 10 foot long blast of orangey-red fire, the flames were color coded (for your convenience), orangey-red was fire fire, the thing that swallowed forests and purged towns, yellowy-green fire was messenger fire, the thing that sent objects to a target person, and purpley-blue fire, one he did not have the power to summon at this time, was healing fire, it could burn away disease and seal wounds with its comforting warm feeling, despite the fact that it was FIRE, SO IT SHOULD BE REALLY FUCKING HOT, BUT PURPLEY-BLUE FIRE IS LIKE WARM BLANKETS.
The timberwolf was reduced to charcoal.
Xero descended onto the pile of blackened pieces of wood, taking one, he knocked his fist against it.
"Excellent quality, this will be great for what I'm working on, at least, the fire." the strange (to say the least) man gathered the charcoal up and flew off with them.
Applejack thanked Spike for his help.
Spike was free to leave, his servitude repayed.
Xero was doing..... something.
<>
Xero was making whiskey.
Good ol' Jack Daniel's, a bit of hops, plenty of sugar and yeast, fermented for a whole year now, sped up by yesterday's acquisition of some low quality charcoal..
The last step was to filter it through 10 feet of charcoal.
Not just any wood could be used for his fine, expensive tastes, no, it had to be something of HIGH quality.
Mahogany charcoal, bitch.
His whiskey was filtered through 10 feet of mahogany charcoal.
It was some really expensive shit.
Since there was not a 'Jack Daniel' to patent the whiskey in Equestria, Xero was free to use his own name.
His own name....
He frowned in concentration.
What was his name?
It was.......
He had been going by 'Xero' for so long, and recently lengthened to 'Xero Termvelo', but that wasn't his real name.
He was quickly becoming sad, he couldn't remember his original name.
'Xero' was having an identity crisis, not one like the middle aged, who try to find their place in life.
No, he legitimately did not know who the hell he was.
"I..... am..... Luna-damnit it all to hell! I don't KNOW, I just don't know..." he was silent, it seemed like something a bit silly to get tear-dripping-upset about, but for the one afflicted, it was maddening.
"Am I even british?" he had quickly reached the part where he questioned the whole of his life.
Flying to his base, he ran his fingers over each piece of equipment.
"Am I even a human?" the cyborg asked himself.
He quickly reached down his pants.
"Wait, yeah, I am." with that assurance out of the way, he moved on to the next question.
"Who am I?" he looked at the mirror.
It seemed like a whole minute passed, he saw himself in the mirror, lit by the lab's lights.
In that minute, his seemed that his beard grew very fast.
He stood there, feeling weak, he collapsed and sent out an emergency signal to his medical ward.
What was wrong with him?
Whatever it was, 'Xero' knew that it would be taken care of.
He blacked out.
In his mind, he prayed.
'Our mother, who art ruler of the sky, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on the ground, as it is in heaven, blessed be thou and us, and forgive our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, deliver us from evil, disperse the kingdom, for the power, and the glory, and shine down upon us thy glorious light of life.' it went.
He felt at peace in his unconsciousness.
Drifting into sleep, he laid there, unmoving, with the needles in his body.
'Xero' let himself be healed.
Author's Note
I didn't know at what point to end this, but, as you can see, I figured it out eventually.
Next chapter coming soon, like (almost) always.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Son of Liberty, Father of Freedom
Waking up tense, Xero looked at his medical ward's main computer.
'Restorative Surgery Started: 8/6/1003 13:37'
'Restorative Surgery Finished: 9/6/1003 7:06'
"Okay, almost a whole month of surgery, what in the holy fucking hell was wrong with me?" Xero was confused and more than a little scared.
Then he remembered 2 things;
1: this did NOT mean 'August 6, 1003 - September 6, 1003' no, it meant '8th of June - 9th of June', he was still british enough to use the date orientation
He had been standing in front of his mirror for a whole week, and it felt like a minute.
That would explain his beard growing so much, and his weakness.
DIsconnecting the tubes and needles stuck inside his body, he stood and went to the armory terminal.
Creating a new set of weapons, ditching the Wolverines and the Catalytic Lens, his copy of the weapon of a hero with the same name, and a gold-plated handled red lightsaber.
Trashing all of his weapons, actually, he needed an ENTIRE new set of awesome killing tools.
Sephiroth and Steven were re-made, Sephiroth being 15 feet by 6 inches, made of mithril.
Steven being the diamond sword from Minecraft, the pixelated blade translating into very heavy serrating.
Letting the ideas come to mind, entertaining them, and selecting whatever he felt would be the most useful.
He decided to play with voltage and amperage, voltage translating into piercing power, and amperage translating into stopping power.
Next weapon, the Na'Ja'To, a ninjato (straight bladed asian sword) sheathed in a rather oddly shaped scabbard.
When drawn, via 1 of 2 methods, the full power was unlocked.
Method 1 was to draw the sword like a sword, revealing the blood alloy blade (a combination of medium hardness steel, titanium, lead, copper, and bromine), the 'scabbard' turns out to be a short barreled laser cannon, firing a medium voltage medium amperage cone of laser energy, the blade of the ninjato could withstand the blast, but most all enemies could not.
Method 2 was to draw the sword like a bullet, firing it at break-neck speed hilt first at the enemy, bouncing off and back to him to hold.
The 2 parts, the Nato and the Jato, gun and sword, are meant to be dual wielded.
Next weapon, the Shadow Tears, another ninjato, it was -50 degrees celsius, why? The blade was made of mercury, and mercury freezes at about -39 degrees celsius, it forms the soldified mercury blade in a pre-determined super sharp form, then, when stabbing or slashing an enemy, it left behind mercury to poison the enemy, it was highly effective.
Next weapon, the Le-Lob, short for Leonardo's Lobotomy, a rapier made of a highly explosive substance. Strike the enemy and an explosion would assault them, only other detail was that the hilt was an italian one, nothing else.
Next weapon, the Justice, made of a gold-titanium alloy, with some carbon thrown in for lattice corrective hardness addition, it had a thick plastic scabbard, as the blade was mainly gold for a reason.
It was a taser sword, modeled in the form of a british saber. He remembered seeing an original model somewhere, and replicated it.
Next weapon, the Gravity Hammer, copy of the Halo weapon of the same name, his old one didn't work properly, but the new one did.
Next weapon, the Pincer, a copy of the Halo energy sword.
Next, the hardest to obtain material, even more than dark matter, was Uru, some extremely dangerous science went down for him to obtain it, seeing as how it can only be obtained from collapsed stars, he made the Mjolnir, or at least, a copy of it, and in axe form, he had no ability to enchant it with the awesome powers that Odin did, but hey, Mjolnir in axe form.
Next weapon, the Hand of Death, a simple weapon, the blade was like a war scythe, a slightly concave edge with a portion of the back sharpened to allow more stabbing power, the whole blade measured about 10 inches long, the handle, and most importantly the pommel and crossbar, were in total 8 inches long.
Not very deadly, if it weren't for the blade, which was made of a very hard solid crystal form of HCN, more commonly known as Hydrogen Cyanide, the deadliest form of cyanide of them all.
He still had the Joy Colt, with its Omni-rounds, which is incendiary+explosive+high power tracer+armor piercing+full metal jacket+taser modifications. Given that most of those modifications would conflict with one another, sufficiently advanced technology was required. Luckily, he had a surplus of that.
Last weapon, the Binary Sword, a 3 feet 16 inch (4 feet 4 inch) long blade, the inscription '100111100' was engraved into the blade and filled with obsidian, he didn't know why that message, he didn't know binary, but a 13 inch katana grip wrapped around dogwood blocks, a thick, black bullion for a crossbar, and a cross for a pommel, an adamantium blade with a mithril finish, the kanjis 光の息子 were painted onto the light grey wrapping with sheep's blood.
The memory of where he had gotten the sheep's blood evaded him, he knew how, of course, from killing a sheep, but where was he when he killed it? He decided to forget about it.
A strange thought that he could not dismiss, a set of 4 giant nails, each 1 inch thick and 9 inches long, he made them, though he had no idea why, they were dubbed the Immolaters, for some reason.
Another whole day had passed, the time-consuming process of using matrix-type software to send his envisionments to a 3D modeling program and science processor, but he had a new set of weapons to show for it.
He needed to talk with his friends, it's important to be on good terms with the heroines of the land, wielders of the Elements of Harmoy.....
....An idea struck, luckily he had not terminated the connection with the programs.
One last weapon, The Elements of Harm;
Loyalty, a 6 barrel gatling gun, small, though, about the size of a 3 inch barrel .357magnum revolver, though with 6 barrels and 1 chamber, rather than vice versa, but firing 7.62 NATO rounds. Each barrel was a different color of the rainbow, the frame was cobalt blue finished shadow alloy (carbon nickel iron steel, lead, and titanium) metal, the grip was a cut lapis lazuli gemstone. The cutie mark was taser modified bullets, taser mod basically electrocutes the enemy at the same time it pierces them.
Kindness, a pink wood gripped balisong with a gold colored blade of crystal HCN, the specialty was that the handle looked very innocent and harmless until the blade was revealed. The cutie mark was that it was a balisong, more commonly known as the 'butterfly knife'
Laughter, a tonfa-style held rocket launcher, based on the Party Cannon, launching 90mm SBHVC, or Smooth Bore High Velocity Cannon, rockets, (the stuff that the Scorpion from Halo fires), using a bit of bleach+roses and raspberries for the finishes. The cutie mark was the engraving on the front of the muzzle, 'Smile, wait for flash'.
Honesty, a SHMHP sledgehammer, which meant Super-Heated Metal Hitting Part, copper tungsten alloy head, gold wiring transmitting high amp/low volt electricity from the Fi-Fu battery to the head, which meant high heat and low shock. The cutie mark was the apple wood grips
Generosity, a kunai launching ballistic knife, , with mithril blades and a peltogyne (purple wood) handle, a simple 'press button to launch' system, he would be generous to his opponents and give them blades at very high velocities. The cutie mark was the diamond shape of the blades.
Magic, a completely straight plasma cannon, 15 inches long, a grip with a button trigger in the middle, one end held a black pearl, the other held a concentrator, which allowed the firing of straight, 1 centimeter thick, magenta beams of high power plasma. The cutie mark was the concentrator being in the shape of a burst star, the main part of Twi's cutie mark.
It was done, he had a whole set of weapons, his old ones put into retirement.
Setting out, he needed to go to Canterlot.
Breathing deeply of the crisp, warm air outside, he flared his wings and flew from the site.
He had to recover his Lunar Zanbato, and maybe get something else.
<>
Touching down on her highness's balcony, pushing the ornate door open with ease, he found his blessed weapon floating in a pillar of light, above it was a thin, white disk, marked with many grey splotches.
A message, magically recorded, it said.
'Take this, my disciple, the mystic disc of the prince, it holds more power than even you could imagine.' he majesty's beautiful voice said, Xero followed the instructions and took the disc.
It was odd, it weighed practically nothing, floating down like paper, but the texture was metal, it wasn't mithril, for it was too plain silver to fit the bill, as mithril is metallic white.
Taking a few minutes to stretch his still tense muscles, maybe he would get a massage or something, that would be nice.
Looking at himself in the mirror, his beard had grown to a few inches long over the course of that 1 week, it looked nice when it was this long, proportional to his hair, and blending in well, like an old master.
The white ends of the hairs were still present, forcing Xero to remember that he was once an old man.
Thinking long and hard, he flew back to Ponyville with his massive sword and floaty disc in tow.
Dubbing it the 'Jebediah', for the sole reason that the name was the first thing to come to mind, he linked it to his teleportation system and dismissed it.
Landing next to Twilight's library, he pulled out a ring of keys and opened the locked door.
He looked at the ring of keys as he walked inside, he had forgotten when he had received these, but he had a key for everypony's door, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and.... well, Rainbow Dash lived with him, so the last key was his own.
For his convenience, each key's opposite end (the end that doesn't work the lock) had a symbol of each mare's cutie mark, a pink star, a blue gem, a yellow balloon, a red apple, a pink and blue butterfly, and a dark blue X with cyan wings.
It was still quite early, but Twilight was used to going with little sleep, working late and waking early, so it was possible that she was already up.
Kitchen, empty, side rooms, empty, loft, empty, where was she?
Logically, the next step was her bedroom, opening the door carefully, oiling the hinges (don't ask why he had oil on standby) before he opened it, he used his velvet tread to walk inside.
Twilight was just opening the blinds when he was about to scare her awake.
The lavender archmage turned around to see Xero standing at the side of her bed.
She blinked, he unseeably blinked, she just stared at him.
"What the bloody hell are you lookin' at?" the brit asked after almost a whole minute of silence.
"What the fuck are you doing?" the unicorn mare asked, suspicious.
"I was about to scare you awake, but you're already up." the cyborg answered.
"Make me some breakfast, and we'll talk." the sleepy pony commanded.
Xero gave a bow and walked down to the kitchen.
Making tea, eggs, muffins, onigiri, and chestnut paste filled mooncakes.
Twilight trotted into the kitchen, her morning routine had transformed her from a messy.... well, mess, to her normal looking, studious self.
"Mmmm, looks delicious." she observed, sitting in one of the chairs as Xero placed down the plate.
"That's what happens when you let a brit cook." the soldier informed, piling up his own plate and sitting down.
The 2 sat and ate in silence.
Xero was about to bite into a muffin when Ditzy Doo burst through the door.
"HELP, OH DEAR LUNA HELP US!" the grey pegasus shouted dramatically.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO EAT A MUFFIN!" Xero scolded, taking a bite of his muffin.
"Ooooh, muuuuffffffiins." the wall-eyed mare said in awe, taking one of the muffins and practically inhaling it.
"So, what's wrong?" Twilight querried.
"Oh, yeah, TWILIGHT, YOUR FRI-" the straw maned mare was cut off.
"Library!" the lavender unicorn reprimanded.
"Ooooooh, right, Twilight, your friends are acting really wierd, and their cutie marks are wrong." the grey pegasus explained.
"That, doesn't make sense, how are their cutie marks 'wrong'?" the archmage was confused.
"I just don't know...." the wall-eyed pony said apologettically.
"I'll be right back." the ninja of the group dismissed himself, shoving 2 whole eggs, half an onigiri, the top of a muffin, and a third of a mooncake into his mouth and running off.
Returning a few minutes later with all of the Elements of Harm equipped, he looked to his intelligent friends.
"So, Applejack is an animal carer and is having lots of fun, Fluttershy is a fashionista producing high quality outfits that everypony is pining for, Rarity is a party mare and is running a rather successful nightclub, Pinkie Pie is a weather pony and is brightening everypony's day, staying afloat with balloons and using her tail as a propellor, descending upon the sad and making them happy, and probably worst of all, Rainbow Dash is a highly efficient farmer, I saw her take 20 trees in 9 seconds, and move the apples back in half the time. Everypony is living a life not their own, and they're DOING GOOD AT IT!" the exasperated man ranted.
"*gulp* I need to find that book, oh, here it is, okay, the last page, spell, shit." Twilight had fucked up badly.
"S-H-I-T, Twilight, I thought you were smart enough to know that, AND WHAT SPELL?" Xero was frustrated.
"I maaaaaaaay have accidentally cast an extremely powerful magical spell, which was also quite dangerous." Twilight started.
"How powerful?" Xero was no expert on real magic, but he had a basic idea of how it worked.
"Enough to alter reality and changer my friends' cutie marks, pay in mind that the cutie mark is embedded into the magical structure of the possessor, one must defy the whole planet's magical aura to do this, not only that, but I've also altered the Elements of Harmony, nigh indestructible and unalterable artifacts that possess more power than every single creature on the planet combined." Twilight explained the direness of the situation.
"That is a horrifyingly amazing feat, I'm both proud and scared of you, Twi, but how do we restore normality?" Xero caught a patch of black energy flaring up in the corner of his eye, he snapped his head to look directly at it, but it was gone, all that was there was a small table.
"We can't just use the Elements, because the Elements themselves have changed to comply with the current state of reality, so we need to restore their memories of how things are supposed to be." the bearer of the EoH of magic was nervous.
"Did I mention that they're all doing exceptionally well, better than the original possessors, we can just let them be who they are now." the ninja suggested
"XERO, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, you're saying that just because they're all slightly more successful in their new roles than the ones who are SUPPOSED to fill those roles, that they're better off just staying like this." Twilight was upset that her friend would suggest something like that.
"Okay, I get it, let's just-" Xero was cut off.
"Imagine if you and your friend Omega were switched!" Twilight half-shouted.
Xero raised his finger to provide a counter-argument, but the thoughts ran through his mind.
'Fuck, how the hell do I reload this bloody thing? OMEGA!' the power suit wearing ninja complained, comm-linking to his professional gunner of a teammate.
'You retard, have you never handled a gun before? Just open the damn thing and put the bullets inside! And by the way, where should I slash at with these things?" the speed suit wearing gunner rebuked his ninja teammate.
'Hypocritical cunt, telling me off for asking for help, and then asking for help yourself, oh yeah, any unarmored parts.' Xero still had enough sense to not risk his friend's life by stalling info.
'I don't know if you realize this, Xero, but swords are a lot harder to use than guns, they require skills, skills that I don't have and you do, sure shooting takes some skill, but not as much as swords do.' Omega explained, brutally decapitating his foes.
'Whatever man, let's just not die until we can regroup.' the englishman assessed.
'Agreed, let's rendezvous at the train station.' the american ordered.
And they went through 28 different types of hell to get there.
"Okay, I get it." Xero said suddenly.
"Well come on, we need to fix our friends." Twilight insisted, rushing outside.
"Alright, I have these, by the way, I guess we could use them like a checklist." Xero showed his scholar companion the Elements of Harm.
"Nice, I suppose, I'm still not entirely comfortable with you being in possession of weapons of destruction." the lavender mare admitted, still leading the charge.
"Oh come on Twi, only half inch thick projectiles and larger are weapons of destruction, so only these 3 things are an issue." Xero corrected, bringing out the Laughter, Magic, and Joy Colt.
"Okay, let's stop debating and start fixing things." Twilight effectively stopped the minor arguing to tackle the big problems.
This was going to be hard.
<>
Mission: Reality Restoration
Hard mode: Activated
ENGAGE!
Finding Applejack galloping through the fields adjacent to Ponyville, a small crowd of critters with her, they were having a good bout of fun.
Xero and Twilight had agreed, Xero would work as a distraction, Twilight would cast the spell.
"HEY AJ!" the brit shouted to the orange mare, coming into line with her.
"Oh, heya Xero, how're ya doin'?" her accent had surprisingly stayed the same.
"Just doing some running, and being a distraction." the cyborg was honest, if nothing else.
"Distractin'? Fer what?" the former farmer asked in befuddlement.
"HIT HER NOW!" the soldier dived to the side to dodge the blast of memory restoring energy.
Applejack tumbled over and groaned, everything came back in full force, memories of her real life her cutie mark was restored.
"Come on, we need to get Fluttershy taking care of these things." Xero insisted, leading Twilight and leaving Applejack behind.
The confused farmer shrugged and walked home.
<>
Calmly entering Carousal Boutique, Xero found Fluttershy working tirelessly at a sewing machine, she hadn't even moved in a whole ten minutes.
"Hey, Shy, it's me, Xero, how goes it?" the cyborg started casually, sitting on the staircase.
"It goes splendidly, I'm ahead of schedule, like usual, so I'll have some good ol' me time when I'm done." the yellow mare replied, smiling, looking a bit tired, but happy nonetheless.
"Good, good, BLAST HER!" Xero commanded to his out-of-room ally.
The bolt of magic flew through the air, striking the quiet pegasus directly.
The truth burst forth, restoring the former animal to a... current animal carer...
Shut up.
"Clear out, we've got more to deal with." the soldier commanded, taking off with Twilight to their next destination.
What would the parties hold?
<>
"Okay, this one, we can take some time with." Xero redacted his commands.
Alcohol, surprisingly quiet wubs, probably drugs, and definately sex.
"You just want some drinks." Twilight saw past his apparent ruse.
"Yeah, let's go with that." Xero eyed a few of the female party-goes, why anypony was here, when it was 8 am, was a mystery, one that Xero would not be a patriotic Sherlock Holmes for.
Though a syringe full of pyschoactive drugs couldn't do much harm.
Snagging a syringe and pocketing it, grabbing a drink and downing it, and grabbing a set of headphones that were on a table by the stage, he instantly knew why the music was so quiet.
It actually wasn't, it was just coming from the speakers, through the air on a radio wave, and out of these headphones, wireless transmission was something he was not foreign
But the song was old, at least to him.
Tossing the headphones, he set off to find the hostess.
Finding the marshmallow-like treat, Xero grabbed it.
Gobbling the twinkie whole, he set off to find the MC.
Finding the white-coated mare, Xero caught her attention.
Giving a smile and a thumbs up to Vinyl Scratch, he set off to find the party's creator.
Finding the pony in question, Xero contacted her.
He didn't actually know who the hell invented the party, so a quick prayer to Dionysus was enough to sate his curiosity.
He turned and walked over to Rarity, who was standing near the bar of the 'Night' Club.
More like 'Any fucking time you feel like joining, 'cause we're always partying like whenever-the-hell' club.
But that name was MUCH too long, so 'Night' Club was sufficient.
"Hey, Rarity, nice place, and nice party." Xero complimented, downing another drink.
"Thank you, Xe, I was actually really worried that the place wouldn't pay for itself, or that it would go out of busines, but ponies really like parties, not nearly as much as me, but enough to pay to enter my ever-going party hall, I even got Vinyl Scratch to set up several 24 hour looping soundtracks, all I have to do to change the disk, which is easy, they're even labeled, Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday, I make plenty of money to pay the bills, lucky for me, *flares up magic and moves a section of wall paneling to reveal a capacitor* at least 10 give or take a few unicorns are in here at a given time, which powers up the big ol' batteries that power the music stand, the pretty lights, everything, I hope you like the liquor, I had to ask Scootaloo what a fancy addict like you liked, because I'm not much of an alcoholic myself, though some of these fruity drinks are really tasty, try one *force feeds Xero a glass of bright red liquid*, it's good isn't it? I thought so, wait, did you come here for more than the party? Did you want a see me? *cute smile* awwww, Xero, I would love to chat, but I have so many ponies to talk to, I'll be sure to talk to you around 9, that's P.M. by the way, see ya!" she had said all of this in one breath, her voice may have still been the same, though a bit less refined, but her speaking patterns were exactly like that of Pinkie.
Xero de-equipped his armor and ripped a large section of flesh from his chest in pure agony and suffering, patching himself back up when the alabaster demon finally shut the bloody hell UP!
"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" he ran at Rarity, fists ready to strike.
The purple maned party mare turned around just in time.
Xero DECKED HER ACROSS THE WHOLE PARTY HALL!
That's about 70 feet, by the way.
"BLAST HER LUNA-DAMNIT STOP ALL OF THIS HAPPINESS I CAN'T TAKE IT I NEED SOMETHING TO BRUTALLY MURDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" it was necessary to scream at the top of his lungs and his voice amplifiers.
Twilight blasted Rarity out of fear of her insane friend.
Xero flew through the ceiling, taking off towards the Everfree Forest.
A 1-minute massacre and incineration of almost HALF of the forest, and he felt sane again.
Speeding off, away from the animal corpses and burning trees, he flew to where Pinkie Pie was clearing clouds by bouncing on them.
"Pinkie, follow me you raspberry maned.... thing." the brit was mentally tired, but not too much so.
"Okay Xero, just let me clear away this section of the sky." the pink.... pink..... all pink mare replied.
"Really? Pinkie Pie? Wanting to do work? I don't believe this for a second." he had figured out the algorithm, the base personality was still there, but the motives and goals had been changed.
"Oh come on, dude, I do my job, sometimes." the former party mare informed.
"BLASPHEMY! HERESY!" Xero shouted, his voice went uninterrupted throughout the airwaves of the sky.
"But-" Pinkie was cut off by another bout of shouting.
"LIES! SLANDER!" he yelled, not letting up in his verbal assault.
"Please stop-" the earth pony was cut off by yet another round of screams.
"BULLSHIT! MAJOR BULLSHIT! AN UNBELIEVABLY LARGE AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT!" he proclaimed to the heavens.
"Okay, I'll follow you, just stop being so DAMN LOUD!" the all pink mare caved in and followed Xero, who had 'miraculously' cheered up and began leading her to the ground where Twilight was waiting.
"Alright, BLAST HER!" he ordered, diving out of the way of the arcane effect.
Pinkie's true memories came in, and she knew what she needed to do.
Another cutie mark restored, 4 down, 1 to go.
Xero didn't sprint this time, rather, he desperately ran, like the situation was completely different.
Like Rainbow Dash was travelling by train, and he needed to get to the train station, as he wanted to see her as soon as she arrived.
Like.... train..........
He ran faster, like she was waiting for him at the train station.
Her revolver loaded, blood-stained skin.....
Ready to get his friend and get the hell out of dodge.
Then... them......
Those automaton bastards, ruining Xero and RD's only chance at escaping peacefully.
A *shing* of Xero's blades, a *chik-chik* from Omega's shotgun, and the battle would be on.
But Rainbow Dash was the smarter of the 2, using his Longinus knife to detonate her automaton.
Xero's mind was losing coherency, images of Rainbow Dash and Omega blended together.
Why did Dash want to fight XV by herself?
How did Omega fly when he weighed 3 tons?
Did Rainbow like guns because of the excellent combination of aerial movement and ranged attacks?
Did Omega......
Xero stopped and threw up at the last though, it barely got past his stream of consciousness when his scumbag brain imagined the implications.
At that moment, Rainbow Dash and Omega's images separated by miles.
Twilight and Omega were actually more compatible, now that he really though about it.
Sprinting again, his mind entertained the thoughts.
Omega and Twilight had a lot in common, they were commanders, intelligent types, preferred ranged combat (though the latter preferred it for less badass reasons), and strong of mind and body.
Xero and Rainbow Dash, well, he didn't have to think about that one, the thoughts had become a front-of-mind entity by this point.
He raced towards Sweet Apple Acres, he needed to fix her as soon as possible.
<>
Xero saw his spectral maned beauty before he could shout her name.
"RAINBOW DASH!" better late than never, he supposed.
The farmer pegasus looked around for him, comically looking everywhere except where he was coming from.
Tackling her in a classic glomp, which meant;
Grab.
He took her down to the ground.
"I need to fix your mind, this isn't you, you're the main one that I care about." he admitted, standing up while still holding her.
Willing himself into pony form for no particular reason
"Okay, Twilight, blast her." the happy stallion requested, rather than demanded.
The magical blast struck Rainbow Dash directly, bringing back her memories and restoring her cutie mark.
Xero collapsed. also hit by the spell, though it's effects on him differed.
His ears where filling with high pitched beeping and static, the cyborg was quickly losing consciousness.
"U--------Twi----t." the voice was Rainbow Dash, but it sounded like it was 2 acres away, rather than 2 feet.
"Wh-----ron--------ro?" Twilight this time, she sounded even further.
"Shi------Xer---------rry----------we'l-------dical------tion." the voices were becoming less distinct.
"Do------------------eetie-------------------ine-----------------trus----me--------rythin-------------be okay." the soothing voice assured, it was the last thing he heard as the static and beeping faded away, as did his consciousness.
He dreamed, magic, and astonishment, and feathers, a metric shit-tonne of feather, Slendermane's blacker-than-black ones, Nightmare Moon's black ones, Discord's pale blue ones, Xero's midnight blue ones, Luna's royal blue ones, Scootaloo's bright orange ones, Rainbow Dash's sky blue ones, and then, a few drops of blue were added to the mix, purple wings, bleach was added, light purple, almost like......
Lavender......
Lavender wings......
Lavender flowers.
Flowers.....
Of the trees....
Mahogany.....
Apple.......
Birch.......
Cherry.......
Dogwood.........
Dogwood?
Hatred, blood, betrayal.
These things can be forgiven.
Forgiven through death.
Purge....
Purge them all!
<>
Awakening with a refilled energy and power, his mind rested and all memories clear as pure glass, he sat up.
Looking around, he was the main medical ward in Canterlot Castle.
To his left was the Lunar Zanbato, the grip glowed slightly, a spell placed on it, probably to heal him, or make him feel less tired.
He was so tired.
'Bleeding for 8 hours straight will do that to you, I guess.' the thought was a bit morbid for his tastes, but he stood up, summoned his black jacket with his plain grey shirt underneath, feeling a bit thin, he brought out some white belts to strap the jacket around himself tight, not wanting a lack of aerodynamicism.
Grabbing the Lunar Zanbato, the sensation was like a small jolt of adrenaline, dismissing it, he summoned the Joy Colt, flicking the chamber out to confirm that all 12 chambers were loaded.
Sending it away, he prepared a song, and summoned the Immolaters, the giant nails.
2 in his hands, but the other 2 could be held, so, in a bit of lacking pain, absent minded logic, he stabbed them through his feet.
'It is time to purge the pure.' his mind raced with the chaotic thoughts.
'This impious peace must end.' the strife-bringing actions that this would invoke.
'It had gotten out of hand' the lust for death was strong.
'I shall be the instrument of armageddon' the was that this all would cause would be too good.
Bringing in the Jebediah, his strange moon disc, he looked at it for a few seconds, before falling forward, standing up after a few seconds.
"The end has begun." his fatherly voice sounded louder than he spoke due to a godly reverberation.
Author's Note
Whoa, shit, Xero's lost his mind, or perhaps..... regained it?
Going out on a shaky, trembling limb here, not sure whether a beard is enough for him.
Next chapter coming soon enough, see you next time.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee.
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The Wrath of "Jebediah", "Immolation" is the only way
(NOTE: look up immolation before advancing further, it makes a HELLUVA LOT MORE SENSE that way)
Holding the Jebediah in his hands, they were trembling in pain, as giant-ass nails were stabbed through them, 1 inch thick and 9 inches long, though they didn't affect his ability to hold things.
Holding it above his head and letting go, the disc floated, the middle dissolved into a ring, a halo.
A silver halo above his head.
The door opened and in came a team of medical professionals, using his invisibility mechanism, he (what else could he do with said mechanism except) turned invisible, waiting for them to get close.
Revealing himself and killing each of them with the nails impaled in his hands and feet, the bloodshed seemed to make his stronger.
Xero Termveli, that wasn't his name.
His name was....
Jebediah Christoff.
A former doctor, and now, he held the power of the world above his head.
The silver halo hummed with energy before dimming again.
Discarding the nails in his body, he watched the wounds fill in with impropability energy and dim out, revealing normal flesh underneath.
Summoning the Binary Sword and the Joy Colt, he exited the room.
A few guards were trotting quickly to the medical ward, apparently a few screams of pain were enough to cause a panic.
Jebediah stopped them.
"Thy sins will drown in the blood of the lamb." he delivered the odd threat quite well, his newfound fatherly voice could sound very menacing.
Shooting 2 of the guards, the 3rd cried for help before being silenced by a blade through the diaphragm, rendering him unable to make a sound, or even breathe.
Taking a few moments to enjoy the fading of life from the guard's eyes, the expert soldier covered his tracks well, being a ninja helped with more things than one would think, and the red carpets were a convenience.
Tossing the bodies out of a window into a secluded area below was also convenient.
Sprinting, his boots equipped and adding to his traction and maximum speed, his gloves more gripping than his bare hands, he couldn't control himself as he ran and slaughtered all right after they yell.
He felt like a monster was possessing his body, he wasn't Jebediah Christoff, he was Xero Termveli, he had accepted that his past was irrecoverable, but this.... thing, wanted to use him.
An evil smile crossed his revealed face when he willed himself into pony form, a look at his flank told all he needed to know.
A charcoal black cross, with the binary code 100111100 printed along the vertical limbs.
'Oh shit, I'm being possessed by Jebus Christ, why me? why now? why this? why at all?' the desperate thoughts raced across his mind.
"Too much faith, young Xero." the fatherly voice said, apparently only able to communicate to the original owner of the body through talking out loud.
'Too much faith? YOU'RE A FUCKING MANIAC! YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN ME! AT LEAST I WOULD SPARE AN INNOCENT! AT LEAST I WOULD KILL FOR HONOR, NOT GLORY! YOU UNHOLY BASTARD!' the angry inner shouting failed to make Jebus stop.
"You and I are not so different, I too spare the innocent, it is the wicked that are my target." Jebus replied, his power was locked, but he had plenty of plain skill to make up for it.
'And who here is wicked?' the brit was furious, anyone would be furious at being trapped inside their own body, its power being used and abused by another being.
"Everyone, all of these.... ponies, they are wicked, wickedly pure, they have cheated at life, jumped the gun on advancing to prosperity, they lack the required secondary power, I am here to fix that, WE ARE HERE TO FIX THAT XERO!" he shouted, willing himself back into human form and taking off again.
<>
Jebus, having 2000+ years of experience being an angel, knew how to fly with immense skill, diving to the guard barracks, he found only a handful of them there.
"Ah, General sir!" they stood at attention, but backed away when they saw Jebus's face.
"You're all," he blasted 6 of 7 guards' heads off. "Discharged, you offsprings of bitches!" for the supposed son of a Lawful Good aligned god, he was quite the asshole.
The last remaining soldier ran to the alarm and hit it.
*(alarm sounds)*
Grabbing the guard with his telekinesis, he made the pony's head burst like a rotten tomato.
"Ahhh, the rush of killing people, I love it." the possessor pretended to drink joy out of the air.
He attempted to dismiss the Joy Colt to summon another weapon, but failed.
"What the hell? I want to use those other weapons!" he was a greedy bastard, but a bit dim.
'They're all locked to MY DNA, cunt.' Xero summed it up and punctuated with swearing.
"Grrrrrr, fine then, my sword and gun are enough." the demi-god made due with his limited resources.
Using the advanced technology to teleport bullets directly into the Joy Colt's chambers, he cocked it and continued on his path of destruction.
The alarm was going off, but the speakers in some areas had been disabled.
"Hmmm, I'm sensing a large source of impropable power near the area where the speakers are disabled." Jebus observed, jogging through the halls and using the Binary and the Joy Colt to massacre anypony and everypony that came running through the halls.
Stopping for a moment and looking in the mirror, Xero was apalled by his appearance.
His beard and hair had gone fully white, a few white belts made his black jacket and plain grey shirt cling tightly to his body. A pair of eyes, turquiose, stared back at him, his teeth were sharp and ready to rip into anything.
He punched the mirror suddenly, and grabbed a piece of glass, it was rather knife-like in shape, which made it easier to grip it tight enough to bleed on it.
Placing the Joy Colt onto his magnetic back plate, he jumped from the window and flew high above the crowd of ponies awaiting something.
'Oh shit, Twilight is supposed to become a princess today, how the bloody hell did I forget?' Xero thought regretfully, of all days, this had to happen today.
Jebus smiled an evil grin, flying extremely high into the sky, he dropped the shard of sharp glass.
Watching the bloodstained makeshift weapon fall, only visible with the bloodstains, it fell.
And fell.
And fell.
Right when Twilight walked out onto the balcony, the glass hit somepony and stabbed through their head and into the ground.
Nopony in the crowd noticed the dead innocent amongst their ranks, they were too busy cheering.
Flying down and around, to where he came out of the building behind the group.
"SPARKLE!" Jebus shouted, causing Twilight to jolt around in shock, before anypony else could react, he tackled her off of the balcony.
The pair tumbled through the air before Twilight could stabilize them.
Armed with only a few quick run-throughs on basic flight from Rainbow Dash, Twilight looked down at her attacker.
Jebus detached from her foreleg and hovered in the air a few meters away.
"This impious peace must STOP!" he yelled at her, bringing out the Joy Colt and doing a few menacing swings of the Binary.
"If you're one of Xero's enemies, HE'S NOT HERE, LEAVE OR PAY THE PRICE!" Twilight was furious at this... thing, that interrupted her coronation ceremony.
"I am THE INSTRUMENT OF ARMAGEDDON, ready to cause WAR, DEATH, STRIFE, AND FURY!" Jebus was hellbent on taking control of Xero's apocalypse powers, but to no avail.
Twilight fired a massive blast of energy at her attacker.
Jebus blocked the attack with the blade of his sword.
Firing a shot from the Joy Colt, the air-distortion properties of the physics and (enter some sort of miracle here) it knocked Twilight's tiara off of her head, the other bullet missing her entirely.
Twilight yanked the Binary from the demigod's hand, using it against him.
Dodging slash after slash from his own sword, he grabbed it by the blade and took it back, firing another shot at Twilight after a few seconds of careful aiming.
Hitting her shiny golder shoes off, he cursed at his misfortune.
He could here a crack, however, both of them had to remember that pure, unassisted kinetic impact could still kill, breaking bones and rupturing skin and veins.
Twilight spent several seconds healing her cracked hooves.
The other 5 of the Mane 6 watched in awe.
Rainbow Dash finally realized it.
This was Xero.
Keyword: was.
He had been possessed.
Quickly shuffling out of her fancy outfit, she flew down to help Twilight against her lover-turned-evil.
Twilight was still very new to flying so she would have to learn quickly.
Delivering a quick, hard buck to the back of Jebus's head, she quickly flew up, over, and upside down to get to Twilight's side, the latter having already shed her own fancy dress for more mobility.
"Just follow my lead, and keep at him." the spectral maned mare instructed.
Twilight gave a nod and charged up another blast.
Rainbow Dash did a quick barrel roll to avoid the duo of powerful bullets before they were fired, allowing her to get out unscathed.
Zooming at the 'saviour', she snatched the sword from his hand, and, with little proper training, slashed at him.
Unfortunately, lacking the dexterity training to properly wield it, she ended up smacking him with the flat of the blade, rather than the edge.
Holding the sword how she remembered Xero doing it, she kept a steady grip on the handle, formulating another attack.
Another blast from the Joy Colt, Twilight blocked one of the bullets with her magic, the other ricocheted off of the Binary, sending the heavy blade smacking Rainbow Dash in the chin, luckily not on the edge again.
3 shots left, he had to make them count.
Taking another shot, another block and a miss.
2 shots left.
"He's got 2 shots left." Rainbow Dash informed her alicorn friend.
"How can you tell?" Twilight wasn't sure, she could keep launching magic attacks all day, but who knew when her attacker would not be able to retaliate?
"It's a 12 round chamber, 2 bullets per shot, so 6 shots, and he's taken 4, so 2 left." Rainbow Dash calculated.
"Okay, he's probably going to be hellbent on making those bullets connect, so be careful." Twilight would have also jokingly commended RD on her basic math skills, but now was not the time.
Sending several magic blasts at Jebus, not a single one hit, but they got close, really close.
Another volley, and finally the attacker became the attacked.
Taking his last 2 shots in a second, neither one hit due to the efforts of the opposing side.
He threw the Joy Colt up onto the balcony, it was empty and he didn't have time to reload, if he died, then Xero could get it later.
Taking the fight to the other side of the Canterlot Mountain Range, the 2 mares followed him, to make sure he didn't leave and attack some other place and/or some other time.
The barren landscape of the Nopony's Land stretched out for miles, nothing but gravel and dirt, sometimes solid stone, but all of it was useless.
Summoning the Immolaters, he raced towards a large hill.
Positioning himself just right, he spoke the message right as his targets-turned pursuers got within hearing range.
"And they made him carry his own coffin, a cross, to be nailed upon, to bleed dry and die of suffering, to be desecrated and buried in an impenetrable tomb, they failed, as his spirit was too strong, and his body faded into the sky." he started.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked at eachother, then back at the chanting Jebus.
"But all was not lost, for he returned, carrying not a cross on his back, but in his hands, a blade inbued with the furies of heaven itself, he would make those who betrayed him pay, with their lives." the chant continued, he took a breath and continued.
"Sharpening the wood of the cross with anger, dulling it with blood, he slew his enemies, the apocalypse had come, and he was its face." the chant was finished, the effects began.
The sky had become covered with clouds, with a single hole through which the sun was shining with great intensity.
An object fell from the heavens, somewhat sword-like in shape.
It landed behind him, the nails shot from his hands point first into it.
Grabbing it from behind himself, he held in his hands.
The cross was about 20 fucking feet long, LITERALLY HOLY SHIT!
The wood burned away, leaving charcoal, he smashed it against the ground, revealing a large, impossibly large sword, about 19 feet long in total.
IT WAS A GIANT ASS SWORD.
The Binary sword was nothing compared to it, hell, even the Lunar Zanbato was nothing compared to it.
The thin, 40 inch long handle had no problem supporting the 15 foot long blade.
The pair of ponies opposing him were scared.
Using the blade, he simply reached out and struck Twilight in the cheek.
No response, she fell.
Another reach, another swing, another hit, this time to Rainbow Dash.
Suddenly, he gripped his head, Xero was regaining control.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME YOU SON OF A BITCH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND MOONS GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" his lungs cried out for relief, he tore his beard off of his face, the tunnel-like eyes and sharp toothed mouth closed, sealing.
Xero had managed to self-exorcise, banishing Jebus from his body.
A splatter of liquids, red, yellow, black, white, and gray all launched from his body.
The liquid lifted itself into a form, creating the true Jebus Christ, armed with only his 500S&W and Binary.
Xero, with his own silver halo and navy blue wings, against Jebus, with his gold halo and bleach white wings.
The 2 clashed, Jebus was out of spare ammo, but the 5 chambers of his 500 were all loaded.
Xero dismissed the Joy Colt, and brought in the Lunar Zanbato.
80 inches vs. 180 inches, it was a battle of blades.
The Binary was dismissed, as it belonged to Xero, but Jebus still had the Crucifier, his massive sword locked away in his cross, freed by fire.
"You hurt her! And then, you'll hurt ME! Then, YOU HURT SCOOTS, AND LUNA, AND EVERYPONY!" Xero wasn't really sure anymore, but he had read the stories, heard the legends, learned the names, and powers, all of the lore behind his opponent.
"Well, when you say it like that, I will." Jebus replied, giving his massive sword a few small swings.
Swords sparked, bullets were fired, stabbing and slashing and slicing and sawing and chopping and all sorts of attacks oh dear Luna help.
Not many were aware, but a sword sparking was a very, very bad thing, it basically meant that the edge was being compromised, and the sword was actually breaking .
The Crucifier, even with its 15 foot long 1 foot wide blade, 2 foot long handle, and holy enchantments, was no match for Xero's superior swordsmanship skills.
The blade of the Crucifier broke, and the 5 shots from the 500S&W were all fired, so Jebus was left unarmed.
Xero took this opportunity to go in for the kill.
Stabbing the demigod through the chest, lifting him up a few feet, the cyborg summoned the Blue Death and put its massive muzzle against his opponent's face.
"Goodnight, Jebus." the brit recited the finisher, blasting the aforementioned man's head off.
Dismissing the Lunar Zanbato and letting the body drop to the ground, Xero jumped back when it caught fire immediately.
The blood red flames flickered, leaving nothing but a scorch on the stone.
He looked to his friends, who were looking back at him in fear.
"Oh come on, you 2 are my friends, I would never hurt you, intentionally, I may fuck up and hurt you by accident, but I would do my best to make amends, so come here." the soldier assured, walking over and grabbing the 2 mares into a 3-way hug.
The trio slowly flew back to Canterlot, mainly because Xero had sustained severe head wounds from his self exorcism, and Twilight was still a shitty flyer.
Gently moving through the great blue expanse, they agreed to make no hesitations in returning to normal life.
<>
A proper coronation this time, no interruptions, and Xero, a bit grudgingly, received a black kimono for his trouble.
The Crucifier had been claimed, though, and that was something.
But still though, his reward was clothes.
Luckily for his friends, his silk lined black dyed kimono was really comfortable and likeable.
Giving a salute to the newly crowned Princess Twilight, the others giving smiles or even some sort of pony form of a thumbs up, it was touching.
That was a week ago.
Now, Xero and Rainbow Dash were getting married.
They had both agreed that it was the only step forward.
"So, before you 2 will share the kiss of bonding, do either of you have any vows?" Twilight was the officiator, Luna and Scootaloo were the only 2 in the crowd, Luna was wearing her regalia, so she was fine, Scootaloo was wearing her old Grand Galloping Gala dress.
"Yes, I have something special, just for you, Dashie." Xero announced, taking a few steps back and grabbing a microphone that was previously out of sight.
He turned on his radio.
He began to sing.
"Despite the lies that I'm making Your love is mine for the taking. Your love is, Just waiting, To turn my fears to proses.
Despite the lies that you're making My love is yours for the taking. My love is, Just waiting, To turn your tears to roses.
I will be the one that's gonna hold you I will be the one that you run to My love is A burning, protective fire
Noooooo I'll never be alone When darkness comes you'll light the night with stars Hear the whispers in the dark
Noooooo You'll never be alone When darkness comes you know I'm never far Hear the whispers in the dark Whispers in the dark
I feel so lonely and ragged I lay here broken and naked Your love is Just waiting To clothe me in crimson roses
I will be the one that's gonna find you I will be the one that's gonna guide you Our love is, A burning, protective fire
Noooooo I'll never be alone When darkness comes you'll light the night with stars Hear the whispers in the dark
Noooooo You'll never be alone When darkness comes you know I'm never far Hear the whispers in the dark Whispers in the dark
Ooooooooh
Noooooo I'll never be alone When darkness comes you'll light the night with stars Hear the whispers in the dark
Noooooo You'll never be alone When darkness comes you know I'm never far Hear the whispers in the dark Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark.
Whispers in the daaaaaaa~aaaaa~aaaaaark
Rainbow Dash almost cried with emotion.
Almost, but not quite.
Xero, his halo still floating above his head, took the initiative, and began the kiss.
It was only 15 seconds, but it felt like 15 minutes.
Xero and Rainbow Dash were now officially married.
How long until something fu-*punching sound*
"DAMN YOU, YOU CUNT OF A NARRATOR, STOP SAYING THAT SHIT!" Xero had broken into the narrator section and proceeded to beat the narrator almost all the way to death.
Oooooowwwwwwwww, shit, that hurts.
"OF COURSE IT BLOODY HURTS , I PUNCHED YOU IN THE NECK AND STABBED YOU IN THE EYE!" Xero held enough contempt for this sick motherfucker to sink a submarine.
Sinking a submarine is impossible, but his contempt would do it anyway.
Okay, they lived happily, can we please get to the transition?
Yes, narrator, we can.
"OH BOLLOCKS! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Xero was confused at the arrival of this new entity.
Don't worry about it, I'm just here to get things back on track, TRANSITION NOW.
<>
Things were looking up, even after the usual 2-3 week time limit for things to go back down to shit status.
Well, kind of.
Twilight had to banish the warring brothers of the afterlife, Angelus and Demonus, thus sacrificing her alicorn-ness to have enough power to do so.
So now, Twilight was back at the library, and Rainbow Dash and Xero were married.
But hey, things were okay.
Walking down the street, opting to wear his kimono in the summer weather, with modesty shorts underneath, of course, he was self-obligated to fly to places, or generally be of a higher altitude than others.
And kimonos were comparable to kilts, in the aspect that people wearing them would be very exposed if they wore nothing underneath.
Walking down the street, ending up at the southern edge of town.
He took a deep breath of the fresh, clean air, he couldn't get over the almost magical healing level of quality of the air.
Looking to the sky, his invisible smile faded as he looked at object in the sky.
A giant ball of energy, coming right for him.
He was shocked, he barely had time to switch into a shirt and jacket before it hit him.
Not even enough time to activate his armor, shame.
Knocked to the ground, Xero took the full force of the blow.
The brit could feel the magic's effects, changing things, but what?
Bio-scans were useless here.
"XERO!" Rainbow Dash had just arrived on the scene, seeing the unmistakable figure silhouetted by the magical flames.
"XERO!" she repeated.
"Ugh, what?" the soldier replied, standing up.
The flames had stopped, and Dash was shocked silent at the sight of her spouse.
"What's wrong? Do I have something on my face?" Xero demanded, limbless (as normal) hand waving in front of her face.
Author's Note
Don't get offended, it's just something on the internet, and it's a parody at that, a badass parody.
anyone who hasn't read OPHL probably won't get the ending, but those who have, will,
Next chapter coming soon enough.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Title is a reference to human genetics, males have XY chromosomes, and females have XX chromosomes.
Standing straight up, Xero looked at her wife.
"What? What's wrong? Seriously, do I have something on my face?" the brit querried, serious this time.
"You have a face." the spectral maned mare replied flatly, not sure what to say or what to feel.
"Of course I have a face, you just can't see it." Xero didn't get it.
"Yes I can, actually." Dash corrected, still staring in awe at Xero's appearance.
"Ha, good one, only female MadnessXionic-Sapiens have visible faces." Xero looked at her fingers, noticing how slim they looked.
"Then you may have a vagina, just saying, you might want to check, and can you even hear yourself right now?" the cyan pegasus stood up again, getting closer to the oblivious woman.
"What? Of course I don't, I'm a ma-" Xero had jokingly grabbed her crotch, and felt no protrusions that were normally there.
And it would be noted that her voice was like that of a woman with... a nice voice? IDFK shut up and keep reading plz.
Rainbow Dash stood in front of her.... wife, and got up on her hind legs, supporting herself on Xero's shoulders.
"I don't know what happened in that explosion, but you and I both know that you were a guy as recent as midnight last night." RD assessed, not blushing at the implications or memories.
"So, I'm a woman now, this is so left field for me, I don't know what to feel about it, so I'm just going to see if my wings still work." the soldier looked down at her body, noting her features.
*POMF*
Yep, they still worked.
"So, what now?" they asked eachother at the same time.
Xero took the initiative and flew the pair home.
<>
"Okay, so, I wanna see how good I look." the altered brit insisted, finding the nearest body-length mirror and staring into it.
She looked nice, slim figure and somewhat longer hips, though this meant little to a madnessxionic-sapien such as herself. Fingers were slightly longer and noticeably more slender, feet shorter and more compact. His hair, something that he had really liked for a long time, had changed by some amount, the normal locks reaching not to her chin, but to her shoulders, the long ponytail was even longer, going from 6 inches off the ground to 1 inch off the ground, maintaining discipline had only gotten her so far, she inspected her breast, and found them small, only about AA-cup, but perky.
The most daunting feature was her face, looking at it for a long time, she looked good , cockiness not having mitigated from losing his own. Her eyes were turquoise, I.E. blue-green with green being dominant. Her slim mouth was filled with sharp teeth, a rare trait, but it was pretty damn cool.
"Well, I'd fuck me." her personality hadn't been altered in the slightest.
"Even now, you're a rude, crude dude. Come on, let's go try to find some way to fix this."
"Awwww, I was hoping for a chance to do some dancing." the watery turquoise eyed woman complained, her eyes said 'sadness' but her smile said 'trollolololol'.
"Dancing? Of all the things you would want to do, you choose dancing?" the spectral maned mare lightly criticized.
"Yeah, is there a problem?" the long haired brit querried, stepping closer to her wife.
"No, I'm just confused, most ponies say that, if they were in your situation, then they would immediately analyze themselves, and explore their bodies, but not you, you just want to dance." the cyan pegasus explained.
"Well, I just feel like dancing." Xero said, doing various physical health movements, stretching, bending, and the like.
"Alright then, if you want to, hell, I'll dance with you." the speedster pony joined the enthusiasm.
"Excellent, we'll start with the waltz, then the tango, the mosey, the ballroom blitz, the street sweeper, the aerial aggregation, the consternation of glory, and finish off with the sideways-monster-mash." the slim cyborg listed.
"Okay, wait.... what was that last one?" RD questioned, not sure if she had heard correctly.
"The sideways-monster-mash." the kunoichi repeated.
"And that means?" the magenta eyed mare questioned further.
"It's a colloquial term for 'The Depredation of the Flesh', it's quite fun." the brit clarified.
"Okay, I think I get it, I know some of those words." the athletic pegasus unsurely accepted.
"Trust me, it's bloody great, almost as good as sex, mainly because it is." the cheeky cyborg sneakily revealed.
"Alright then, let's start." the nimble pony took the initiative.
And so they danced.
And they danced.....
And danced......
And danced............
And danced..............................
And fucked.
And now they are cleaning up.
And now they're off to get help from Twilight.
<>
Twilight was enjoying a nice, normal breakfast.
It felt good to not have to deal with anything out of the ordinary.
She could get used to this.
*CRASH*
"TWILIGHT XERO'S/I'M A WOMAN NOW AND WE NEED YOUR HELP!" Xero and Rainbow Dash had burst in through the front door at the same time, interrupting the lavender archmage's breakfast with their simultaneous cries for help.
Calmly chewing her oats and drinking her juice, Twilight finished her simple morning meal and walked calmly into the main room, half-mindedly putting away the dishes.
Staying calm and collected, she cast a simple scanning spell over Xero's body.
Laying on more advanced magical levels to the scanning, one by one, to pinpoint the cause of the transformation, she finally came to a conclusion.
"I cannot help you, this is outside of normal magic, if you were to come back in a week, after my studies into the eldritch, I might have something then." she stated stoically, walking past her friends on her way to the market.
"Well...... shit, I have to put up with this bollocks for Luna-knows-how-long, and I can feel the estrogen decaying my badassery, and this is just bloody fantastic. " the cyborg complained.
She walked over to the center table, laid out a book, and.... well..... you get the idea.
Facebook.
Smacking her head a few times more than necessary, the blunt trauma knocked something loose in her mind.
"Fuuuuuuuu....." she was disoriented, looking around with bleary eyes, she saw her wife, standing there.
"Hey, you know, I put up with a lot, it's kind of necessary with you, but you can be just as badass with a vagina as you could with a penis." the cyan mare was quite offended at her spouse's claims.
"Uuuuugh, I know, just give me a minute, I need to run an algorithm, and done, and now...." Xero rubbed her head, moving one hand out to summon a weapon.
Summoning the Lunar Zanbato, Xero delivered a short prayer and dismissed.
Shifting inside of her kimono, which, due to her proportions, was still quite comfortably fitting, she straightened it and looked at her wife again.
"So, I guess this is the time for the typical 'going out and doing stereotypical girl things', which will be followed by the 'keep being yourself' part, and finally the 'turning back into a man' part, which is sometimes followed by some sex with their restored genitalia, but I'm willing to just be normal again." the brit had described pretty much every special/episode/movie where a person gets genderbent.
Every single one of them, ever.
Willing herself into pony form, the ninja formulated a plan.
<>
Rarity whistled an orchestral tune whilst she worked.
*ring ring*
"Just a minu~ute." she chimed, she felt great, on a roll with her work.
Gracefully trotting into the foyer, she found Rainbow Dash standing next to a mare that she didn't recognize.
"Ah, Rainbow, darling, what brings you here?" the fashionista was confused at her friend's presence, as the pegasus would usually make it a point to stay at least 100 feet away from the boutique.
"She wants braids, don't ask." the athletic pony replied, pointing to the strange new mare.
"Ah, well then, Miss......" Rarity waited for the name of this new, strangely familiar pegasus.
"Oi, bloody mauve maned harlot don't rekanize me wit a new gabber, do I need to show you where my nob used to be?" Xero went british ghetto on the white unicorn.
"Um, wha-" the indigo maned unicorn was cut off.
"LOOK AT MY ASS." the turquoise eyed cyborg commanded.
Rarity reluctantly obliged, observing the pony's cutie mark.
A simple, black, roman numeral X.
"It's XERO TIME YA ROTTER!" the transformed soldier boisterously informed.
"What happened?" Rarity was... confused, she couldn't summon up any amount of emotional response, it was just too damn weird
"I got turned into a female, that's pretty much it, and I want some braids in my mane please." the bluish-black maned pony explained, making her request self-torturingly polite.
"Oh, that makes sense, or least as much sense as some of the shenanigans that go on in this town. Well then, come with me, darling, you are in luck, I was going to go to the spa today, but I shall take you with me." the posh pony accepted, flaring up her magic.
Rainbow Dash was already long gone, so nothing kept them from leaving immediately.
Locking the door with a few quick turns of the key, the fashionista unicorn led the kimono wearing pegasus to the spa.
<>
The full treatment, including conditioner for (even more than before) softer coats, manes, and tails, flowery smelling perfume, mud mask, cucumber eye things, hot tub soak, massage, and a light aura of flowery/fruity perfume.
Giggling like school fillies, the pair left in a springy trot.
Xero felt like she was losing her mind, but it all felt so damn good.
"So then, this fool drags himself onto my porch in the middle of a rainstorm, and says 'I'd like to commission a suit'." Rarity told her story.
"HA, what a sod, I bet you had a bloody brilliant response." the brit was too immersed into this.
"No, I took pity on the poor lad, you know, Element of Generosity and all." the white coated pony revealed.
"Oh, well then, your story is finished whether that's the end of events or not, my turn, okay so, this one time, me and Scootaloo broke out of containment, and....." the cyborg let the memories come loose.
The indigo maned unicorn prepared herself for this.
"And then, since she's the smart one, she devised a plan to get our cervical armors back, not cervical like lady parts, cervical like the spine, so I, being the faster one, took the job of melee, dodging bullets and stabbing suckers in the head, and when Scoots got her hands on a gun, she started owning all of those scrubs." the soldier continued, not realizing her memory failure.
"Her... hands?" Rarity was puzzled by this choice of words.
"Yeah, what she used to hold the pistol, anyways, we fought through waves of mooks, our fellow coworkers, though they were mostly desk jockeys and robots, still, when we recovered our cervical armors, we hauled our asses out of the shuttle. A last second coordinate change ended up sending us to opposite ends of New York City, so we had to upload our armors and set off to a rendezvous point at the train station, man, you should have seen us fighting, t'was a sight to behold. Anyways, then we-" Rarity silenced Xero with a hoof placed firmly in her mouth.
"Last paragraph, please ." the alabaster mare was not so much requesting , as she was demanding .
"So then Omega died and I lived on, growing old and raising an apprentice, then I died via a black hole bomb and ended up in Equestria." the cyborg recalled.
Rarity was struck silent by this sudden revelation.
Xero was struck silent by the memory.
Tears forced themselves to the grey mare's eyes, shattering her immersion, leaving her feeling hollow.
"I, I need to go." Xero stammered, quickly flying away.
Leaving and going home, the mare collapsed into bed and waited for sleep to come.
Eventually looking at the clock, she found it read 10:12 A.M..
It was NOON.
Sighing and dropping her head onto the cool pillow and somewhat warm sheets, she closed her eyes.
dream reality transition
Xero appeared in a field, walking through the white grass on brown dirt, she peered deeply to see another bipedal figure.
"Omega!" the brit shouted, her rough, tomboyish female voice was inviting.
"What?" the figure turned to face her guest.
Luna-damnit it WAS Omega, and he had been turned into a female too.
"Why does this keep happening?" Omega asked, Xero shook her head in a lack of answers.
"I don't know, but, whatever, you look great by the way." Xero snickered, her CO's voice sounded strange as a female, her hair hadn't changed much, just being much longer, down to her ribs, her eyes were a fiery orange color, and her mouth, like Xero's, held fine, sharp teeth. She was 6 feet even, 6 feet 2 inches in armor.
"Right, thanks, listen, I know this sounds wierd, and probably insane, but, do you have any advice?" Omega asked, Xero was shocked, Omega had NEVER asked for help, well, not true, only once, when he and Xero were captured, he had asked Xero for help unlocking the cell he was in.
"Wow, I, uh, I don't know, just, don't suggest any experimental 'Hey I'm like this now but we can still do this' sex, Dash was up for it, she's bi, but I'm pretty sure Twilight is as straight as an arrow." Xero answered, being blunt, Omega gave a slightly visible flinch.
"Right, follow me, I think Ponyville is over there." Xero directed, pointing to the odd sturctures in the distance, it looked like Ponyville, indeed,,,
...If everything single fucking thing in Ponyville was painted bood-red.
Approaching the crimson town, the pair walked through the streets, they reached town-square, they found a sight that was equal parts shocking and odd.
"Askad, put the Pin-Puller away." Kary said to Askad, the orangish-yellow clad man alive and well, Kary still looked like she did right before the fight with Omega and Xero.
"Not until Omega and Xero manage to lapse this far." Asked replied, holding a scoped rifle, not quite sniper but not quite assault, it looked like the dragunov with a shorter barrel, the wood parts were pale birch, the metal was gold, Xero's scan told her the rifle shot .50 BMG High Explosive rounds.
"Hey, psychopath, bitch, we're here, the question is, why are you here?" Xero greeted Kary, and only Kary, the green and yellow pair turned to the 2 females.
"Are you...? Did something...? I.... well, boys, looks like you're girls." Kary stated the obvious.
"The magical energy I am picking up indicates that this is the result of gender-bender magic, all you need to do to reverse it is have a sample of DNA from your un-magicked self, and consume that with your magicked self, and the spell will be countered and reversed, returning you to normal." Askad, ever the smart-as-hell-ass, explained the process.
"Problem, all of the DNA samples in the locks I had were over-ridden to compensate for my change of sex." Omega and Xero answered simultaneously.
"You are both married, correct?" Asked started, he was going somewhere with this.
"Yes." the red and blue pair answered.
"You're married to 2 different ponies of the Mane 6, correct?" Asked continued, definitely going somewhere.
"Yes, your point?" Xero was getting impatient, this shit was useless.
"If my carefully calculated algorithm of the passing of time itself is anything to go by, you both made love to your spouses the night before this happened." Askad was closing in on his point fast.
"Yes, what are you trying to say?" Omega interrogated, angry at Askad's habit of making riddles of everything.
"Well, given that information, and the fact that you 2 were born male and grew up male, you both understand enough of biology for at least a basic comprehension of reproduction, and DNA's part in it, the answer is clear." Askad said, as though he was explaining how 2+2=4.
"WHAT IS IT?" both gender-bent humans were getting very mad.
"The answer is, you have to extract your DNA from your lovers, thus, you must drink your own semen ." Askad answered, his tone was normal for him, insane, condescending, and sympathetic at the same time.
Omega and Xero, credit to their parts, were only absolutely horrified and disgusted, well into the point of shock, but not to the point of violent denial.
"I'm sorry, but it is the only way." Askad added, his tone was grave.
"Is, is there no other possible way?" Omega pleaded.
"You could wait for your period to start, the magic wouldn't be strong enough to keep you bent and you'll turn back." Askad began again.
"Phew." Xero signed in relief.
"But the consequence is that the spell will have ruptured your bladder, and you will end up peeing blood." Askad finished, the 2 women looked even more horrified.
"Oh well, it's obvious then, good thing I'm good with drinking non-conventional liquids, I survived in Africa by drinking tiger's blood, some gasoline, and elephant shit-juice." Omega revealed, the other 3 were disturbed by this revelation stated in a casual tone.
"Right, well listen, despite being here for 10 minutes, it's actually been 10 hours, you 2 have to go." Kary informed, pushing the pair of women out of the square.
"Why do we have to leave so soon?" the pair asked at the same time.
"You 2 were lucky, you ended up in Equestria, we were unlucky, ending up in Hellquestria, just like the original except completely abandoned by animal life, the disturbance of you being here has altered the colors, though your numerous visits have slowly been getting closer to the original, you'll see a normal Ponyville soon enough, now get the fuck OUT!" Kary explained, pushing the 2 into a portal that had just formed.
<>
Waking up, Xero realized something.
Her.... fluids...... were lost, due to excretion via RD's highly active lifestyle, some shit with biology IDFK shut up and keep reading.
"Great, I gotta wait until the phrase 'bloody cunt' becomes a reality." the kunoichi lamented.
Standing up again, the soldier went through a series of motions, just some fancy stretches, but they did the job and she felt limber again.
Looking at the clock, she found it was 8:15 at night.
"Just in time for whatever I feel like drinking." she announced with some modicum of recovered happiness.
Resigning to her fate, she walked into the living room and selected a bottle from a secret ice storage hidden in the closet.
Sitting on the couch, the brit merely tilted her head all the way back with the bottle to her lips.
"Hey bro." Scootaloo greeted, just now walking in through the front door.
Xero stopped chugging for a few seconds, her mind raced.
'Oh shit, what will Scootaloo think of this? Shit shit triple shit shitx20.' the thoughts rang throughout her head.
"Drinking again eh? Oh who am I kidding, you drink all the time." the orange pegasus joked, doing a little hop and flying over to the couch, sitting comfortably next to her sibling.
"..." Xero was silent (in case you couldn't tell), not sure what to say.
Scootaloo tilted her head at the cyborg, unsure of this silence.
"Aaaaahh, so, how've you been today?" Xero tried to, and it was a Luna-damn shame that she failed to, imitate her OWN MALE VOICE.
"I've been doing well, are you okay?" Scootaloo was worried that her brother might be sick, and involuntarily scooted back about a foot's distance.
"Yeah, just a bit shocked at some developments." the soldier had still failed to imitate her OWN MALE VOICE.
How does one fail to imitate their OWN VOICE!
Luckily, her lithe frame hid the fact that she had undergone a genderbending.
"Why? What happened." the violet maned young mare was concerned over this
"Well, let's go through this step by step, I'm your brother, correct?" Xero was a little heartbroken at the technical lie.
"Yeah." Scootaloo was not sure where this was going.
"And when I married Rainbow Dash, she became your sister, correct?" the kunoichi's small amount of heartbroken-ness was healed 5 times over.
"Of course." the orange pony answered.
"Well, let's just say, now you have 2 sisters." the brit revealed.
"What? Wait, did you... does that mean that you... you cheated on Rainbow Dash?" the smallish pegasus was appalled at her sibling's apparent actions.
"No, Scoot, IT MEANS I'M A WOMAN!" Xero turned suddenly to face her sister, turquoise eyes filled a need for solace.
"AH! YOU HAVE A FACE!" Scootaloo, for her credit, didn't freak out nearly as bad as expected.
"I know, but more importantly, I'm a woman now, and I'll be a woman for 1-4 more weeks." Xero counted the weeks.
It was the middle of the month, so week 2, so 2 more weeks, if it didn't happen by then, it would happen in the first 2 weeks of next month, so up to 4 weeks of waiting.
Waiting to piss blood.
Great.
<>
It had been an established fact that Xero had been changed, and that she would change back any day.
Walking through the streets, the kunoichi, wearing her midnight blue jacket and grey shirt, sighed in defeat.
It had been 2 days, but she would get over it, maybe come to enjoy her time as the fairer sex.
She was suddenly smacked in the face by a piece of paper.
Pulling it off, she read it.
"Annual Equestria Music Competition, anyone allowed to compete, rules;
1: groups are separate from individuals.
Taking place in Manehattan, thank you all in advance for your participation." the brit read, discarding the flyer immediately afterwards.
"Whelp, sounds great, and it'll possibly be after I turn back, things are looking up." the cyborg was more cheery than usual.
Climbing up a building and doing some parkour, she was feeling better already.
Everything was going to be fine.
Tackled by mech-wolves outside of town.
Stabbed them through the heads.
Why are these robotic beasties here?
"Ah shit, methinks something's going on here." the winged woman was curious.
Indeed, something was going on.
Xero looked the mech-wolves over.
Printed finely on one of the body plates was the inscription;
"Property of MBORF"
The company that built him, trained him, armed him, and ultimately tried (and much later succeeded) to kill him.
"Well...... shit." the soldier said in anguish.
This was going to be bad.
Author's Note
okay, sorry for delays, but not nearly as bad as SOME chapters.
I rushed to get this out of the door, so forgive any writing mistakes that may appear.
next chapter coming soon enough.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
The Music is flowing like "Tears"
Xero strolled up to the massive building that would house the AEMC, the Mane 6 and Scootaloo following him closely.
"Alright, so, here's how it's gonna go, we all sign up in our specific teams, and we have fun, if any of us win, they share the glory." the soldier debriefed.
The various small cheers were given, and the group entered the building.
The signing process was taking a long time, suddenly, Xero felt a bad omen.
"Excuse me ladies." the still transformed brit dismissed herself, rushing to the bathroom.
Entering via flying kick to the door, she rushed into one of the stalls.
A sharp pain pierced her torso, starting at her midriff and quickly spreading all over.
Convulsing in agony, she felt like her skin was tightening and stretching at the same time.
Her scalp felt like it was on fire, all of the individual hairs being ripped out.
Unable to breathe properly, her eyes were pouring tears and other fluids, mouth salivating uncontrollably, teeth feeling uprooted, lips feeling like they were stabbed by needles, her entire face felt like it was being squeezed by an industrial compactor,
Her hands and feet felt broken, the skin was numb, but the muscles were tight.
Her chest felt like it was bleeding and torn, as though it were covered in lacerations and incisions.
Her lower body felt like it was being melted via flaming acid, no matter how ridiculous that would be in practice, stretching and tearing of the skin.
It was all real feeling, but none of it was actually happening.
Collapsing finally, head laying on the external piping that acted as a backing for the toilet, he could feel himself pissing blood.
Groaning in agony as his internal organs repaired themselves, he waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally feeling no additions to his suffering, he injected himself in the neck with a strong dose of analgesics, and left the room.
Panting as he opened the door, leaning on the frame, a random mare was standing right outside the restroom, about to open the door herself.
"*huff* Bloody hell *huff*" he panted, righting himself again.
The recovered man left the vicinity, leaving a disturbed looking mare glancing between his departing form and the restroom door, unsure of whether or not to enter.
<>
Entering the individual performance auditorium, the brit walked towards the stage, feeling better with each step, more alive and less exhausted.
"ALRIGHT, AND NOW, OUR FINAL COMPETITOR, FROM ALL THE WAY IN PONYVILLE, WE HAVE XERO!" the announcer had convenient timing, as Xero was only a few seconds from the stage.
Flapping his wings a few times to cross the distance with speed, the cyborg landed on the stage on (if he had limbs) one knee, facing away from the audience.
Turning to the massive crowd, he grabbed the microphone and began.
"Okay, I'm here to rock the house, and tell a story, at the same time, so let me start this." he recited his planned speech, switching on his radio and finding the right song, plugging an output to the DJ stand.
"You see, I've fucked up pretty badly in my time, but I've always done my best to make up for it, and this is the start of my singing my heart out." the words were filled with a mixture of sadness and hope.
He played the song.
"You see, no matter how many changes I go through, no matter how far I get, I'll never escape my roots, but hey, at least I've got this." he joked, summoning his motorcycle.
The audience laughed at the subtle humor.
"But the time for peace will come and go, and I'm ready for it all." he sounded broken, mad in the head.
"Sometimes, the pain is too much to take, and sometimes, the pleasure is sickening, but I don't care, I'll keep trudging along all the way through." he had regained some modicum of sanity, but the music poured forth.
"And my whole life up until a couple of years ago has been a living hell." the small amount of sanity he had built was reinforced, but he still sounded broken.
"It's okay, though, I'm okay, honest, I'm not going to let anything keep me down, but the past is too painful, if only I had tried harder, I could have saved everyone, but I didn't try hard enough, and I didn't save everyone, and I failed, I failed and nothing is going to change that." he sounded crazy, like he was about to start massacring at any second.
The next song was belted out with broken dreams.
"I'm haunted by the past, and it seems that no matter how hard I try to forget, I can't, I keep remembering, and I can't stop myself from remembering any longer." he sounded like he was crying.
Luckily for him, nopony could see that he actually was crying.
"Sometimes I look at myself, and I look at ponies like you all, and I feel appalled at my own being, like I'm something that's too corrupt and wrong to exist, I.... I feel.... I feel like a........ like a........" he quickly started the next song.
"But I've some good in me, enough for a proper redemption, but I know things that most have the luxury to be ignorant of." his voice held something new, contempt, self-contempt.
The next track came with vigor.
"Things have been looking up, and then turning to shit, it's been 'lather rinse repeat' for not-even-Luna-knows-how-long." something else new, empathy, solace.
"And now, methinks that everything might turn out alright, but be careful, never let your guard down." his voice spoke volumes of warning.
"There's not much left to say, except looking forward to what's to come, so yeah, let me just give all of you a big ol' middle finger." he sounded revived, he mustered up control of his lungs and prepared to sing along.
It was time for a big ol' middle finger.
Despite it all, he got a deafening applause.
He had won the AEMC.
Everypony was cheering for him.
His friends helped him back to Ponyville.
<>
Staggering through the streets, Xero was surrounded by the Mane 6, Scootaloo kept him upright, and the others kept him going.
Barely able to keep himself awake, he just kept walking, wearing his hoodie for warmth during the cold night.
Following his wife's swishing spectral tail, the cyborg didn't risk an adrenaline dosage, because then he probably wouldn't be able to sleep soundly.
Sitting on his spouse's back suddenly, more-so laying, he held on tight, not letting go of that fantastic feeling cyan fur and soft rainbow mane, being half asleep gave him some symptoms of being on ecstasy.
He wasn't sure of the passing of time, he was too damn tired, but he was in bed, the blanket being laid over him.
His music trophy stood proudly on his shelf, and his body laid limp on his bed, hands, feet, and wings all splayed out.
He would sleep for quite a while.
But that's okay.
He had earned it.
<>
Ravenously shoveling his breakfast down his gob, his stomach felt painful with emptiness, so he didn't really care about filling it too fast.
He needed to keep up his strength, so he consumed with joy and vigor.
Scootaloo, by comparison, was like a queen with her etiquette, though it was only not being messy or noisy with her eating directly from the bowl, like a normal pony.
Rainbow Dash alternated between eating and reading a newspaper, sitting at an odd angel to accomplish this.
Xero, having given up on his shoveling technique, willed himself into pony form and shoved the plate into his muzzle, chewing with his strange, sharp-yet-flat teeth.
They were a great, big (not really, with only 3 members) happy family.
And nothing would change that as long as Xero was able to move.
Which was all of the time.
So nothing bad was going to happen.
Shit, fate has been tempted.
Author's Note
worked hard to shove this out of the door and onto the market.
and by 'market', I mean 'being published so you, my loyal readers, can read it.'
next chapter will be coming soon, the end is neigh.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Sometimes, the past haunts, sometimes, it hunts
Xero woke up to a rumbling sound.
The soldier merely kept his eyes shut and continued sleeping.
"XE, THE HOUSE IS COLLAPSING!" Rainbow Dash sounded hysterical.
"What......" the brit slowly got up and into a standing position.
The rumbling sound got louder.
A spike of adrenalin shot through his system when he realized that something was deeply wrong.
Quickly equipping his speed suit, he shot out of the door faster than a speeding bullet.
The house was indeed collapsing, falling out of the sky in large chunks.
Speedily taking stock, RD was okay, Scootaloo was flying up onto the scene, the house had stopped collapsing, and a strange pony was fleeing.
Soaring off and tackling the strange pony out of the sky, Xero held him aloft with one hand, using his other to break his suspect's wings.
"WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE!" he shouted the interrogation.
"AH, I, I was sent here to kill you, by MBORF, from Neigh York, please, just make it quick!" the poor, nameless sod knew what to say.
Xero merely crushed the agent's neck with a one handed squeeze.
"Okay, we've a problem, my old employers are back, and trying to kill me, AGAIN." he debriefed rather abruptly.
"I don't get it." both of his fellow-ponies were confused.
"Listen, you 2 just stay here, don't follow me, I'll be back in a day's time." the cyborg was NOT going to risk danger to his spouse OR sister.
"Hey, I can hold my own against a few creeps." Rainbow Dash wasn't having this.
"Dashie, follow me to the forest, I need to explain something to you." the soldier half-heartedly commanded.
With a bit of reluctance, the cyan pegasus followed the ninja through the sky.
<>
The pair flew down to a clearing in the oppressive plant-life.
"Okay, listen to me closely, Rainbow, watch carefully at what I'm about to demonstrate." the brit prepared steel targets and a few guns chambered in various cartridges.
Demonstrating the ballistics involved, each bullet, 9x19 parabola, .45acp, .357 magnum, .44S&W, .460 Rowland, .50AE, .500S&W, 5.56 NATO, 7.62 NATO, .50BMG, and even 90mm HVSBC.
"These various projectiles will be coming at you at speeds higher than the speed of sound, and at intervals as high as 1/10 of a second, and as low as 1/100 of a second." the cyborg punctuated his statement with another volley of bullets to the steel targets.
Each of the targets, even being whole 1 inch thick plates of solid steel, had several holes in them.
"I'm not so sure about this anymore." Rainbow Dash admitted, looking a bit downtrodden.
"Well don't worry, I'll be back in a day's time." the ninja assured.
"You can't just go up against that! You can't just show me that and then expect me to think it's okay for you to go out to find them and get KILLED." the spectral maned mare was extremely worried about her husband's mental health, more-so than usual.
"I'm going to go and do this, I have to, IF I DON'T STOP THEM, THEY'LL CONSUME THE WORLD IN A FRENZY OF VIOLENCE AND TECHNOLOGY! I've done it before, AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!" the soldier knew he was the only one who could do this.
Flying off at Mach 5 speed, Xero knew he needed to get to Neigh York, and fast.
<>
He had to stop for directions, as he had lost the data files for the world map.
Entering a pub, as his experience led him to the knowledge that pubs held ponies that knew their way around Equestria.
Willing himself into pony form a mere second before he opened the door, he trotted inside, his kimono over his hoodie, hood up.
Sitting at a booth near a group of ponies, he listened in on their conversation.
"So, Ten, my stallion, howitzer been going." one of the strange ponies said to another.
"Fuck off, Shade, with your cannons and what-not, I'm not in the mood to talk." another pony, presumably the stallion named Ten, replied.
Xero changed positions to a table in the middle of the room to observe the group.
A lime green coated unicorn stallion with a shaggy orange mane.
A murky yellow coated pegasus stallion with a short dark blue mane.
An orange coated unicorn stallion with a dirt brown mane that had toxic green highlights.
A light purple coated pegasus stallion with a leafy green mane.
"But seriously, how's it been going with you, Ten Cages." the yellow stallion repeated, sitting nearest the wall, further away from everypony else, he occasionally fidgeted in place, like something was bothering him.
"Ugh, fine, Shade, if you must know, my ethereal wings spell has been improving drastically, soon I'll be able to fly like someone like you." the orange stallion, Ten, answered.
"So.... delete-star-dot-star, international-mob-tournament, band-of-anime-yakuza, from scythes to shotguns." the purple stallion said suddenly, it was obvious that he had some sort of speaking disorder.
"Violin C.E., I swear if you don't shut your mouth, I'll use a healing spell as an attack." Ten demanded.
"I see, wealth-and-common-folk-pitchforks, pray-the-game-away, roses are bad for your health." Violin continued.
"So, besides Ten being a combat pragmatist, and Violin being really fucking stupid, where's Blotty?" the green unicorn asked.
"Fishy, Blotty is off doing weather shit, she's not coming today." Shade informed with a slightly shaky voice, still fidgeting every 5-6 seconds
"And what about Crystal?" Fishy continued.
Shade, rather than saying anything, merely pointed downwards, still fidgeting.
"And here I thought your shivers were cancer." Ten crudely remarked.
Shade merely slapped Ten upside the head, shivered and fidgeted again, and stayed silent, snorting a couple of times.
Ten recovered and jabbed Shade in the face.
Several seconds later, a pale blue coated pegasus mare with a long, straight indigo mane appeared from under the table, sitting next to Shade.
"Okay, so, let's get to the real business." the newly arrived pony insisted, wiping her mouth with a napkin and then proceeding to eat said napkin, this was obviously Crystal.
Xero was a bit disturbed at the lack of decency displayed by the odd group, as astronomically hard as it was to believe, even XERO had standards .
"Alright, sesquipedalian-missionary-position-neighing-in-the-yard, local-phone-calls-identity-theft, one-minus-one-plus-why, It's for the Omnilord." Violin stated, taking in another breath.
"First-and-last-movie-in-the-villa. Electrical-outlet-suit-jacket-masquerade. Beware-of-skateboard. Sky-colors-in-the-pages-with-arteries. Ex-plus-why-equals-negative-division-sign-stop-in-the-road. Dark-skies-of-string-instruments-with-bleached-screws. Straight-up-gee-in-the-tree. Cutlery-on-the-grill-of-magical-shiny-shiny-shiny. Warehouse-common-folk-curtains-middle-of-the-cocaine. Muzzle-not-flashing-in-azure-and-darkness. Gang-pony-leg-warmers-in-the-pool-of-time-passing-like-reversed-sand. Saucers-on-the-floor-31. Ex-why-zee. Reverberating-line-of-atlas-victorious-golden-vanity-mirror. Avalanche-tidal-wave-tornado-wine-and-blood. The scout hasn't returned." Violin explained.
Whatever modicum of revealed information that 'explanation' offered, it was apparently understood by his fellows.
"I see, so the target is probably looking for the Omnilord, assuming that he killed the agent, and knows that we're in Neigh York." Ten reworded.
"Mirror-punk-flanks-and-eyes-yar-over-the-hills." Violin quickly noted, pointing to Xero suddenly.
Xero tensed, staying calm and finishing his mug of ale, standing up, he looked at the group.
The ninja calmly trotted over to the group.
"Greetings filly and gentlecolts, how are you doing on this fine manehattanite day." the brit cheerfully greeted, placing a hoof on the back of Ten's head.
"Hello trottinghammer, what brings you to our table?" Fishy greeted.
"I was over yonder and happened to overhear that all of you are looking for a chap named Xero, no?" the cyborg held one fore-hoof on the back of Ten's head, lifting the other several inches off of the floor.
"We were looking for a pony, A pony, we never said any names." Fishy could smell that something was..... well, fishy .
"Five-sign-on-the-shoe-for-4-hearts-of-stardom-warm-pastries-yell-checkers-on-your-flag." Violin warned as best he could.
"Okay, well, in that case..." the soldier was prepared for a battle.
He quickly willed himself into human form, slamming Ten's head through the table, effectively killing the unicorn via multiple vital bones breaking.
Summoning the Joy Colt, he shot Fishy through the head, the 2 bullets splattering his brain backwards.
Using the Justice to electrocute Violin, and the Le-Lob to jab Shade in the jugular, blowing his neck up, he turned to the pegasus mare, Crystal.
"Where is Neigh York, relative to here?" he demanded, holding the blade of the Shadow of Tears inches from her muzzle.
"North by Northeast!" the blue pegasus quickly revealed.
"Alright, now suck it." the ninja commanded, gesturing to the tip of the sword.
She obliged with tears in her eyes, her lips latching onto the tip of the Shadow of Tears, the insanely sharp edge sliced the skin of her mouth open with ease, the poisonous mercury melting and entering her bloodstream and quickly reaching her brain.
She was dead in 4 seconds.
Turning invisible as to not cause further panic than A FUCKING QUINTUPLE HOMICIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUB!
He left with great haste.
<>
He was getting closer, he could tell, the bad omens had ascended from whispers, to mumbles, to rambles, and finally shouting and yelling.
Turning to pony form the second he saw the giant buildings in the distance, he continued galloping like a bat out of tartarus towards the city.
[Neigh York City] Population: 9,876,5431,337
Apparently MBORF had been killing off several ass-loads of ponies in either kidnappings, attempts at finding Xero, or releasing soldiers and/or diseases into the air.
The tinge of green in the air was a (rather stereotypical) sign of airborne disease.
Getting about 50 meters into the town, a loud series of whirs and zaps filled the air.
The diseases would only effect true-born ponies, so his increased ventilation would have no effect.
Turning back around, he found himself dressed up in the wrong ends of many laser sights, like the people in the 'Predator' movies.
A few breathless moments only added the horrid sounds of more loading rifles and more laser sights.
Willing himself into human form again, he summoned the Justice and the Hand of Death, a proper melee dual wielding, sword in one hand and a dagger in the other.
Bullets flew at him like a hard rain, both figuratively and literally.
It wasn't hard at all, he blocked each and every one of the AP projectiles.
Another volley, this time with FMJs
Another, APFSDS.
And another, Full Steel rounds.
Xero was getting bored, another volley came, this time Advanced AP, steel jackets with tungsten cores
The cyborg hadn't taken a single hit and his enemies were out of ammunition, he charged into the group before the call for mounting bayonets could be issued.
Slashing and smashing and slicing and dicing and hacking and attacking all at once, he was a beast, and he was hungry for murder.
Grabbing the radio from one of his fallen foes, he heard a worried recon voice coming from it.
"Squadron 99 Leader, are you there? REPEAT, Squadron 99 Leader, are you there?" the man on the other end demanded the information.
"Yeah, I'm here, sorry about the delays, had a bit of a problem." the ninja imitated a gruff soldier's voice.
"Civilians?" the recon receiver guessed.
"No, target Xero, he's here, don't worry, it was surprisingly easy to deal with." the brit falsely assured.
"Target Xero is in the city? Good thing we caught him before the night-time forcefield came up, alright, head back to HQ in the northernmost point of town." the recon receiver instructed.
"Okay, after Xero came in and killed all of us, that would be a valuable piece of information." the soldier subtly revealed.
"Wait, killed.... all of you.... who is this? You better not be playing a prank, or you'll be executed, soldier." the angered desk jockey warned.
"Don't worry, it's not a joke." Xero purposefully slipped a bit of his accent into his statement.
"... wat?" the recon receiver delivered his question quite flatly.
"Make peace with your god now, BECAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOUR HEADS!" Xero shouted into the com-link with his normal voice.
Smashing the device on the ground and stomping on it for good measure, the ninja ran further into the city.
Running the calculations, he had to go another 30 miles.
Turning on a good song, he went full speed.
He was struck, suddenly and very hard.
Falling and skidding along the asphalt for about 500 feet, he stood up with chunks of skin missing and a shit-load of holes in his wings.
"Well, good thing I never abandon any of my abilities." he was lucky, if he had dedicated all of his time to leisure and flying, he would be rightly fucked at this moment.
Summoning the Justice and the Shadow Tears, he prepared to fight his way through.
Stumbling in pain and a sudden onslaught of exhaustion, he looked over his wounds.
He was bleeding very heavily, he would die within a minute.
Painfully cauterizing his abrasions and lacerations, applying pressure to his avulsions and incisions, and plugging up his punctures, he summoned some medical supplies and injected himself with a large dosage of key blood components.
His wings were beyond repair, a shotgun blast had torn dozens of holes in the feathers, and most of the undamaged feathers had been forcefully plucked with his humorously long tumble.
Trudging at the (relative to normal) slow speed of about 40mph, he slashed at his enemies as they came.
The GPS pathfinder came up again with a notice.
10 miles to go.
Even going at 60mph, it would still take him 10 minutes to get there, 10 minutes that he did not have.
Forced to go slowly at the risk of sensory overload, he went along at only 10mph, which would get him to his destination in an hour.
Keeping the Lunar Zanbato out, the faithful soldier power-walked along the way, dragging the massive sword along the ground behind him, too weak to haul it on his shoulder, but too cautious to have it dismissed.
Half an hour later, he could feel his body repairing itself, skin growing back, blood producing again, he was feeling better, better enough to haul the LZ on his shoulder.
The blade of the LZ was both ridiculously sharp to his enemies, and, being a goddess-forged tier weapon (at least that's how he classified it), completely indestructible, to the point that dragging it across cobblestone and dirt roads for 30 minutes had not dulled the edge.
29 inch long handle, wrapped in royal blue leather, Xero had theorized that these wrappings were made from Luna's own hide, being the same color as her coat, but it was just a theory. Emblazoned in silver ink was a message written japonese kanjis, which read 'Eternal Death before dishonor'. The pommel was a 4 inch diameter sphere that looked exactly like the full moon, complete with craters and everything.
A full 1 inch thick crossbar, which was little more than a horizontal black square prism, 1 inch tall by 1 inch wide, and 6 inches long, the 2 ends each held a crescent moon, both facing outwards, the whole 'theme' of the weapon was liberally plastered all over it.
The blade itself was 4 inches wide at the base, going out for about 4 inches before the back-side tapered into the edge-side, making it 2 inches thick. The wide base area contained a strange symbol.
The size was something to fear, a whole 90 inches long, 2 inches thick, the flat of the blade was black, as to be expected, but it was so dark black that it seemed to emit darkness , the brit could have sworn that the weapon was not this powerful looking when he first got it.
Engraved vertically down the length of the flat, from tip to base, were more kanjis than before, filled in with a pale light blue tinged cobalt, the symbols read:
'Her highness, the mighty and majestic Luna, goddess of the night, commander the moon, creator the stars, and mistress of magic, darkness, power, strength. and peace, blessed be those protected by her power.'
A thin silver line divided the base from the rest of the blade, effectively dividing the point where the symbol was and where the kanjis were.
A whole 10 feet long, and forged by a vengeful horse goddess , it was the epitome of concept of a Zanbato, which, as a bilingual bonus, literally translated into 'Horse-killing sword'.
Oh what delicious irony, or maybe it was intentional, either way, it was a bit funny, despite the fact that the original use was an offense against cavalry , not just horses .
Using his prized possession to impale 6 enemies' heads at once, the ninja used the equine shish-kabob to kill the rest of the squadron, feeling much better and more powerful.
Speeding up a lot, he could feel some of the scabs tearing off, he had landed above the front door to the HQ of MBORF, fatigued by his wounds, he collapsed and blacked out on top of the overhang-door-type-umbrella-thing.
Laying there, his last conscious thought was a prayer that he would not be found.
<>
Waking up in pitch black, Xero quickly lashed out, only to knock off a blanket thing that had concealed him.
Standing and picking up the silky sheet, he looked it over, it was pitch black except for a white lettering which read:
'Dear Luna, I hope that nopony bloody finds me here.'
The phrase confused him at first, but then he realized it...
This was an answer to his prayer!
Chalking it up to a 'high enough faith stat', he figured he could acquire things simply by praying for them, as the black sheet had concealed him for an entire day.
Looking up, it was night again, looking down, business was boring.
He recalled his dream, it was simple, he was in a dark void, and he was cold, his halo had enveloped him in a pillar of white light, accompanied by a comforting warmth.
Looking over, he saw a large puddle of dry blood, his own blood, enough of his own blood for him to have bled to death.
Banishing the morbid thought, he jumped to the ground, turning into pony form.
He went to enter the building, preparing to retaliate in case the sound of galloping in the distance was some sort of poor attempt at an ambush.
It was time for a slaughter
Author's Note
Sorry about all of the delays, so sorry, I'm currently on vacation and have a somewhat limited access to the facilities required for authoring, but I try hard to get this stuff built and out of the door.
Also I've been busy with stuff, but not things, never things, things suck, so I only deal with stuff.
Next chapter will be the big fight, prepare your anus, or whatever your culture traditionally crams things into.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
My name is "Xero", prepare to die! Part 1
Trotting into the building, kimono on, the ninja came up to the front desk, staring intensely at the worker tapping away at his keyboard.
"Can I help you sir?" the indifferent stallion asked flatly.
"Yes, actually, how much would it cost to level the building and brutally murder everypony here?" the cyborg asked bluntly.
The desk-jockey was shocked speechless, looking at Xero even as his turquoise eyes and sharp toothed mouth faded into a normal plus sign 'face' of a Homo-Xionus.
A scary mask quickly covered the solid grey surface, the scared pony didn't have much time to react.
The last thing that went through his mind was a diamond blade.
Industrial sounding clanks and clicks came from forming the Joy Colt, which killing 8 guards who had conveniently (for Xero) and unfortunately (for themselves) lined up tight enough.
A quick thrusting throw of the Justice sent it killing 2 more guards, a third had the misfortune of a foamy blooded death by the Hand of Death impaling him through the forehead.
Bringing out the Gravity Hammer, which crushed the second-to-last guard's body in a single strike, the technologically advanced brit brought out the Pincer, his copy of the Halo Energy Sword.
The handle had been modified to easily fit a human hand, the middle spike replaced with a button, he merely pointed it at the remaining soldier, who was frozen in fear, within reaching distance of an alarm interface.
Aiming the sword's 2 half-blades at his enemy, Xero merely held the button on the handle down.
The light blue blades slightly darkened in color, then transitioned from blue to green, a jolt of energy buzzing between the tips of the 2 blades.
He had outfitted the thing with covenant 'directed energy plasma' technology, allowing it to fire flesh devastating plasma bolts.
The enemy soldier? What enemy soldier? There's just a pile of smoking ash.
Xero prepared an EMP and went to hit the alarm, when better judgement got ahold of him.
He wasn't like Omega, no, sure he had a suit of armor just like his american comrade's, but the brit lacked the heavy weapon's deadly 'kill everything everywhere in a few seconds' stuff, his skills were with melee weapons, not guns.
His friend's best skills were endurance and strength.
His own best skills were speed and stealth.
Prepping the EMP, which was designed to disable the alarms and comm systems, but leave the lights on, Xero waited.
He heard the sounds of hooves thundering towards the building, had that failure of an ambush really not gotten here yet?
The glass doors were blasted open, peppering the soldier with razor-like shards, which sliced a few small, shallow lacerations into his face, forming a set of wounds which would definitely scar.
Ignoring the 6 cuts that, if viewed right, would spell 'XM', he wasn't sure how he even came to that conclusion, but the other conclusion was that he needed to keep his mask on.
"XERO, are you okay?" Rainbow Dash quickly tackle hugged him, luckily not toppling him over.
Xero was confused at first, but then the dots were connected immediately when he saw the rest of the Mane 6 there as well.
"I WAS okay, but then the lot of you showed up, what the bloody hell are you doing here? " Xero was a bit pissed off by this new development.
These 6 weren't prepared AT ALL, no defense, no offense, no plan.
"We came to help you, after Rainbow explained everything, we knew that we couldn't just let you come here to die." Twilight revealed.
"So you came here to die yourselves? I thought it was PRETTY LUNA-DAMN CLEAR THAT I DIDN'T WANT HELP! You're not even armed." Xero retorted, setting the EMP to a timer.
Nopony had a response to that, it was true, none of them had though about bringing weapons.
"Alright, listen, I have some reserved stuff, so each of you will get something, here." Xero summoned the Elements of Harm, passing them out along with a few normal weapons.
Twilight received the magical star blaster rod thing, along with an AutoMagV, which was practically a magic wand itself, just point at the enemy, chant 'Headius Explodicus', and pull the trigger.
Rarity received the ballistic kunai knife, as well as a FAMAS, a fashionable french bullpup assault rifle.
Pinkie received the miniature cannon, and the Nether-Realm-Translator, a device which worked like a mouth covering, and when the wearer were to blow air at a certain velocity, it would spew flames out, the name was based on daemons using fire breath rather than words to communicate.
Applejack received the sledgehammer thing, along with a .500S&W revolver with a six shot chamber.
Fluttershy received the poisonous balisong knife, as well as a Barrett sniper rifle with a collapsible barrel, meant to slide in on itself, like a collapsible baton.
Rainbow Dash, with Xero having saved the best for last, received the gatling revolver chambered in .357 magnum, loaded with cloud-tracer/HE rounds, which left behind a smoky cloud of whatever color, and blew up, Xero loved the rounds, as they seemed like rockets to him, alongside that was a pair of wing blades, made of white mithril, so as to not be heavy but still be protective and attacking.
For comedic effect, the colors of the tracers in the gatling revolver cycled around, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and back to red, making a rainbow.
Theme spamming was at work here.
"Alright, and some nanobots to make into some sort of armor." the soldier turned commander continued.
Releasing the nanobots to form into armors for the group, the end result was something starkly resembling regalia.
Each of them had gotten a set of shoes and a neck-plate.
Twilight got royal-purple adamantium shoes, as well as a skullcap, though it didn't do much to cover her dark blue mane with pink and purple highlights. (an unrelated added effect, a permanent reminder of her temporary alicorn-ness, her highlights had stretched out further than the main part of her mane, like so .
Rarity received a sapphire-blue colored set of platinum shoes, and a masquerade mask, with blue tinted lenses and plating that covered her whole face. The focus of this piece was a decent amount of fashion, not overpowering the primary function.
Applejack got a set of leaf-green deitite shoes, which would amplify her natural skills at bucking by an unholy amount, the metal was found to amplify force on a scale of newtons, a 4 newton tap with deitite would be powered up to 400 newtons, a 1,000 newton blast would be amplified to 100,000 newtons, how in the hell, heaven, earth, and all of the universe this material was allowed to exist, Xero did not know, nor did he care, as his gloves were now laced with thin plates of the stuff. AJ's hat also received a vibranium coating.
Pinkie received a set of chocolate-brown ozium shoes, a strange element that, in tests, amplified sound waves, it could help her with jumping. A head-covering made of Kevlar was provided, as head armor made of ozium would not be tactically smart nor safe.
Fluttershy got a set of raspberry-pink vibranium shoes, the design would render her motions completely silent, even a set of wing blades would reinforce that fact, her helmet was, funny enough, a greek spartan soldier helmet, made of the same pink vibranium, it would keep her noggin safe.
Rainbow Dash received a set of rose-red colored 'light gold' shoes, the element was another strange one, found to have the effects resembling the Flash, the superhero, I mean. Her mane was kept together by a chainmail hairnet of sorts, made of titanium.
With the strange bits of armor distributed, and Xero with no nanobots left to give more, the group split into 4 teams, AJ and Pinkie, Dashie and Fluttershy, Twilight and Rarity, and Xero on his own.
Xero needed to give 1 last order before they split off.
"Now listen, don't be afraid, don't be afraid to kill, that's what you'll have to do, because these people don't accept friendship, they won't be tried by 12, they'll be carried by 6. We are death's advocates, and we won't be ignored. And you ladies cannot be ignorable, so toughen up and mow 'em down." Xero gave the inspirational speech.
Many gulps and small prayers for forgiveness were given during his speech, the Mane 6 wished they had stayed home, but their wishes were in vain, they were here, and they had to fight, and kill, or they would die.
"Alright, be careful, and keep an eye on all angles, MOVE OUT!" the commanding officer ordered.
Everypony split up and galloped through 3 of the 4 hallways, leaving Xero with one way to go.
The building seemed starkly familiar, like he had advanced through this hallway before.
Wait....
A quick look to a sign on the wall confirmed his suspicions.
: Machine-Biology-Olio Research Federation (MBORF): : Biomechanical Intelligence Studies Corporation (Bio. Int.): Bonded under the common goal of eradicating all zeroes
"Wow, I'm a big enough problem to warrant a political bonding of 2 companies that have been competing since the bloody renaissance . I feel honored." Xero remarked, taking a swig from his flask.
Summoning the Steven and the Justice, he continued on.
<>
Twilight and Rarity, same as their friends, were tasked with kicking ass in all their finery, namely, armor in the form of regalia.
They both had to spend a few minutes learning how to even use their weapons, Twilight had blown a few pots to smithereens testing out the power of the AutoMagV, Rarity had written her name in the wall with her FAMAS.
PDSA, Xero had left the note attached, the magazines were empowered with a PDSA system, Twilight recognized the term, Pocket Dimension Storage Access, a sufficiently 'arch-y' archmage could craft and enchant a pocket dimension opening in a small bag, known to some as a 'Bag of Holding', though Twilight detested the redundant term, as any bag ever was made for holding.
The guns would never run out of ammo, so they could spray-and-pray all they wanted.
Good thing too, they were ambushed by a group of guards who immediately opened fire. The unicorn duo hid behind a concrete divider placed conveniently near the entrance, probably left during construction. Safe from the 5.56 NATO rounds for a while.
"Rarity, do you have a mirror or something?" the lavender archmage inquired.
"Of course I do, but that's not very important when we might get OUR HEADS BLOWN OFF!" the fashionista dramatized.
The highlights-on-blue maned mare rolled her eyes a little bit, took the mirror, and cast a spell.
A set of small devices formed out of thin air, the spell casting pony continued her work.
Attached the small sight-like objects to the muzzles of the 2 firearms, fitting them like laser sights, the mirror duplicated into 2, 1 of them floating to Rarity, the other staying with Twilight.
"Just look into the mirror and aim your rifle over the barrier." the scholar instructed, doing the same with her pistol.
The white unicorn did as told, the mirror filled with the image of their attackers, 1 of which was coming for the barrier.
Shooting the cad, Rarity asked what the spell was.
"It's a spell called 'mirror mirror, anywhere, let me see what's over there.', it creates an input in the form of whatever the first lens sees, the output projects whatever the input sees." Twilight explained, taking shots at the guards throughout her small speech.
It was basically a magic-based CCTV camera.
The .50AE and 5.56 NATO bullets flew from the guns and into the enemies over yonder, less than 10 seconds and they were all dead.
The magical duo continued on, their mission was simply a slaughter, kill as many soldiers as possible so that as few as possible will help the ones that Xero was no doubt also slaughtering.
It was almost a massacre, really, the poor mooks were just cannon fodder.
<>
Another gout of fire lashed at the ammo-less soldiers, Pinkie Pie was rapidly assaulting the opposition simply by using her powerful, rapid speech patterns.
Applejack had foregone unlocking doors to simply bucking them into shards, the force was great enough to break metal into shards, and metal is MALLEABLE , and was now smashing heads in, her techniques were getting smoother, less hesitant and more fluid, she was, to her slight dismay, getting the hang of killing .
Pinkie blasted an armored enemy with her miniature cannon, the 90mm HVSBC missile devastated the foolish mook.
That's what they got for messing with 90 millimeter High Velocity Smooth Bore Cannon missiles (the same missiles fired from the Halo Scorpion tank).
Picking off the stragglers with her .500S&W magnum 6-shot revolver, Applejack calmed her pyromaniac friend.
"Pinkie, I think that's all of 'em, c'mon, let's go." the orange farmer-mare insisted, placing a hoof on her friend's shoulder.
"Okie doki loki then, come on Jackie, I think I saw some more meanies going through the halls, c'mon, last one there's a rotten cupcake." the clearly insanified party-obsessed earth pony ushered, zooming off.
The more serious of the pair sighed at her partner's enthusiasm, continuing through the halls after the bouncing fuzz-ball of energy.
<>
Another volley of the 9mm magnums (.357 inches, do the math) tore through the opposition, which to the spectral maned speedster seemed like petty obstacles rather than deadly soldiers.
She was tackled by a straggler, who was missing a foot, but still managed to pin the cyan mare, headbutting her.
The crazed enemy reared up for another headbutt, only to head-splode (now a word).
Not a very wide entrance wound, only the front of the skull left from the exit wound.
Fluttershy gasped at the power she held in her hooves.
The rifle had been re-chambered in a new, more powerful cartridge, the 'Double 2-86' or 22.86x194mm XCR, or Xero Custom Round, the overall length of the cartridge was 245mm, 51mm of bullet extending from the casing, the diameter of the thing was 1.4 inches at widest, the reason was because, through the power of math, this was a '90 caliber' cartridge, so the extensions of the casing came to 0.5 inches, a lot of powder, and thusly, energy was behind this thing.
It was based off of Omega's Grudge rifle, the one Xero had kept, but that one was '80 caliber', the collapsible barrel and stock could shorten the whole thing to 18 inches, about the length of the yellow mare's leg.
Using Total Cannon (fully hard metal) / Straight Tracer / Discarding Sabot rounds were useful for high accuracy firings, and the DS part meant that there was no ejection port needed in the cycling process.
The enemy soldiers lacked ammunition, but Fluttershy had plenty to spare.
Getting closer, the pink maned pegasus was like a beast with her collapsed rifle in her hooves and balisong (butterfly knife, in case you didn't know) tucked into her wing.
Dodging swipes from combat knives, jumping over 1 swing and ducking under another, the normally shy mare shot the mook's head off from under the chin, turning around and no-scoping the next one through the chest.
Using her wings to switch the position of her massive knife and slash her opponents in sync, she was moving and massacring like a machine.
Shooting at an enemy sniper standing about 50 feet down the long hallway, she took out 1 of the giant cartridges and looked at it, loading it back up and firing before realizing her mistake.
She had really liked that particular round, she called out to the dead sniper.
"Oh wait, that was my favorite bullet, could you send it back? Or... just, just don't lose it, okay? * " she felt a bit crazy after saying that, but calmed down when she saw that her childhood friend was okay.
"Wow Shy, that was... that was... just... awesome." RD was left speechless at seeing her normally shy, peaceful, reserved, and pacifistic friend take on about 10 or so armed guards like that.
"I... I guess, I was just so mad when that 1 guard tackled you like that, after the first shot, I just couldn't help myself." the animal-carer admitted, unconsciously continuing through the hallways.
"Well, let's go, we've got more to do, and I'm ready for another volley." the athletic comrade assured, giving Fluttershy a pat on the back before flying forward, revolver at the ready.
The not-so-timid-anymore pegasus steeled herself, rebuilt her resolve, and flew off behind her sister-in-arms.
<>
"How many bullets ARE IN YOUR HEAD?" the ninja shouted, shooting the heavily armored goliath soldier in the aforementioned body part.
The 11 foot tall behemoth gave a beastly growl before trying to hit Xero with its (relatively sized) steel sword, it was 1 handed for the mutated beast, but the thing was bloody six feet long .
Xero aimed before getting knocked off target by the shockwave of the giant blade carelessly striking the ground.
His .80cal shot pierced the monstrosity's chest 10 times, the 'bounce' effect had been strengthened to 10 rebounds, allowing that many strikes to occur.
The stupid goliath roared in pain and anger.
"If I hit you chest I'm sorry, I was aiming for your crotch! * " he shouted, not sure if the giant soldier understood him.
The beast was killed by a 20kg slug blasting its torso to bits.
Xero recognized the concept of a 20kg slug, but from what?
He remembered Omega telling tales from his old roommate, stories about a zombie clown, a shadow skinned demon, Jebus Christ himself, and giant soldiers.
Giant soldiers...
A 20 kilogram slug......
From a giant shotgun............
*CHIK-CHIK*
Xero dodged the many, many pellets from the gigantic shotgun shell that was fired at him.
The soldier looked at his attacker, and was a bit spooked at what he saw.
Mag.Torture cocked the 5 inch-diameter-barreled-shotgun, it was an M1014 resized to fit its titan stature, at 22 feet tall.
Armed with an 11 foot long shotgun, chambered in some ridiculously low number of a gauge, probably 0.1 or something, the giant mook was a force to be reckoned with.
Jumping into the air and slashing away with the LZ, its 29 inch long handle and 90 inch long blade easily doing heavy damage to the Mag.Torture.
Using the Justice to give the titan a shock, and the Hand of Death and the Shadow Tears to poison it, the Steven to inflict heavy bleeding, the Sephiroth and Crucifier to hack off its hands, the Joy Colt and Grudge to blast pieces out of it, and the Le-Lob to blow its head off for a finisher.
Twilight and Rarity ended up in the outside area the ninja was in a few seconds later.
"HEY TWI, MAKE ME SUPER SIZED!" the CO ordered, standing by the giant shotgun.
Twilight, without thinking about it first, cast out the spell, which did exactly as planned, it made him gigantic, standing about 20 feet tall.
The cyborg picked up the shotgun and went gung-ho-crazy.
"ALRIGHT, MOVE OUT, this'll be fun." he shouted, his voice was quite amplified by his larger lungs and vocal chords.
Twilight realized the impact of what she had done, Xero was now a gargantuan being, with even larger amounts of power.
"XERO, WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT?" the lavender mare shouted up to her super-sized friend.
"I didn't, you did that simply because I asked nicely, you were completely capable of turning down the request." the brit reassessed.
The archmage was about to retort when she realized that Xero was right, she hadn't even thought about the 'titanization' spell or what it full impact of it would be on her human friend.
"Shall we continue on? Xero should use this temporary power while he still has it darlings, chop chop, let's move." the fashionista instructed, pushing at her fellows to advance.
Xero loaded up on giant shells from the Mag.Torture's corpse, there was 'mince', which seemed to be .25 inch pellets, 'bird', which was .50 inch pellets, '0 buck' which was .75 inch pellets, '00 buck' which was 1 inch pellets, '000 buck' which was 2.5 inch pellets, and finally 'loonie vampire killer' (odd name, I know) which was simply 3 pellets, with each being 5 inches in diameter.
With 16 shells, 2 of each of those listed plus 4 slugs, he was locked and loaded.
The high ceiling hallways were generous, though the enlarged brit had to push aside a large amount of hanging lights.
The enemy soldiers were, for lack of a better term, like pigs in the slaughter.
The giant shots were practically genocide to the helpless mooks, a single 'mince' shot cleared a whole hallway, a slug blasted the door to a usable height, a 'buck' broke half of the computers and all of the scientists across 1 side of the room, the other 'buck' broke the other half of the laboratory room.
Twilight and Rarity simply followed, observing the destruction their human friend left in his wake.
<>
Applejack and Pinkie Pie had reached a large chamber, holding a giant capsule containing what looked like lightning, a man, looking much more powerful than a measly mook, was standing at the computer interface.
Applejack grabbed the man, tossed him a few feet away, and bucked him in the chest.
The amplified force sent bone shards and streaks of blood blasting backwards like bullets, striking the walls and a few storage bins.
Pinkie Pie began messing with the computer.
[Black Ops Projects: Soldiers]
Scrolling past names like Hank, Jebus, Tricky, David Mason.....
The next one made her stop and click on it.
[Xero]
Name: Adam Boxton, changed to Xero, original name deleted from his memory files.
Age: began at 19, time has passed, presumably 92.
Proficiency: Melee weapons, dominantly bladed and 1-handed types.
Description: 5'11" out of armor, very fast, trained in oriental ninja skills (parkour, preservation and attacking martial arts, advanced stealth, etc.) black hair with insistence on keeping an ankle length ponytail, armor increases his already exceptional skills in ninja-ing, swordsmanship, and being able to not die.
History: Taken into the program after being captured from his group of ninjas, Adam Boxton became known as 'Xero' under the Xero project for Bolverk Squad, alongside 'Omega' (formerly Jonathan Donson), 'Kary', and 'Askad' (formerly Shaun Narkas), Xero completed 26 missions under the command of Omega, the 27th was supposed to be their last, a suicide mission, to destroy our competitor's secret possession, a being that is believed to be alien technology, codenamed XV. Not only did Xero and Omega not die, but when they were taken in for execution, the 2 cyborgs broke out and escaped, stealing their latest armor upgrades, Xero v3.7 and Omega v7.1, in the process, after a furious battle with Kary-08, Omega was found dead and Xero had escaped. Almost more than 70 years later, our pursuit of our most dangerous enemy has led us to this land of 'Equestria', filled with miniature horse-like beings known as 'ponies', Xero is among them, he will be found and eradicated at any cost.
Pinkie and AJ were quite spooked by the profile, and at the implications it gave about their 'leader'.
The duo left, AJ making sure that Pinkie set fire to the terminal.
If only they had known just where that fire would spread.
<>
Rainbow Dash was busy shredding through the incoming soldiers as Fluttershy was destroying the vehicles, contrary to popular belief, gasoline was not so flammable as to ignite from being shot with ordinary bullets, a tracer's burning light chemicals or an incendiary's sole purpose was enough, however, and luckily the rifle equipped pegasus had the former.
Another squad of soldiers were mowed down by the rocket-like bullets that were being sprayed like water, the athletic mare was losing her grip, as the Loyalty was numbing her foreleg, a simple fix, she switched hooves.
Fluttershy aimed down the barrel of an incoming tank, setting off the rocket being prepared, blowing the tank up from the inside.
She gasped as small pieces of shrapnel grazed her face, inflicting a few cuts that began to bleed, one on both sides of her mouth, giving her a look like the Joker, a permanent smile scarred into her face, another shard making a small slice on her forehead.
Trying her hardest to not swallow any blood, the pink maned mare raided one of the transport trucks for some medical supplies.
Rainbow Dash covered her comrade while she dressed her wounds.
Her gatling revolver stopped firing, overheated, she waved it around and blew on it, hoping to get it working again before the nearest soldier got too near.
She tossed the high-tech weapon into the air, hoping a quick throw would help it cool off before she got attacked.
It failed, a mook got close and slashed at her with his pistol bayonet, hitting her neck, she was pissed, headbutting him hard enough to crack his skull.
Knocking the mistake-making mook away with a quick buck to the face, further breaking his head.
The cyan pegasus stood still while Fluttershy, aware of her wounds, wrapped her neck in analgesic salve and bandages.
The pair of already somewhat battle-hardened mares took off, ready to finish the mission.
<>
It was out of ammo, the shotgun had run out of ammo.
Luckily, Xero used the LZ as a knife a few times before the titanization spell wore off.
Using the Justice and the Steven to pry the doors to the next room open, Xero led the way into a freezing cold containment lab.
"Shit, this is too familiar, Rare, Twi, keep moving, I'll deal with this one." Xero warned, getting into a fighting stance.
Rarity and Twilight were a bit hesitant, but they galloped past Xero.
XV, or at least, another alien that is exactly like it, almost like a carbon copy of it, it was here, in this room.
It struck Twilight in the head, not hard enough to do any significant damage or effect, but hard enough to cut her, leaving her half blinded as a head-wound bled into one of her eyes.
Xero shot XV with the Grudge, grabbing its attention.
"HEY BITCH, COME TO PAPA!" the circuit-encased-in-leather armored cyborg taunted.
XV roared and charged, grabbing Xero as he jumped to avoid a punch.
The alien scanned the ninja, dropping him as he slashed its fingers off.
A beastly screech as the monster changed form, turning into a blue skinned Xero with external teeth, black hair cut short.
"Oh motherfucker you did NOT just copy my style, prepare to die you xeno-twit!" the cyborg shouted, feeling a lot more powerful than before for an unknown reason.
Maybe it was fear, and that fear gave him a whole new source of untapped energy, a new adrenaline, if you would.
XV didn't stand a chance, taking about 4 and a half billion attacks in the span of 15 seconds.
Xero had no idea what was happening, but as suddenly as it came, it ended.
Left breathing deeply and quite a bit fatigued, he moved to the next room.
Twilight was there, holding several scientists at gun point with the help of Rarity.
"Alright you smart assfools, listen up, you're all going to be sitting on the floor, against the wall, and not pulling any guns on me, I hate when people pull guns on me, so don't balls it up and we'll be fine." he announced half-diplomatically half-threateningly.
The barely armed scientists did as commanded, not wanting to be turned into diced meat chunks.
Xero took their wallets and guns, having Twilight deconstruct all the pistols and cartridges, and blowing them up with the gunpowder.
"And now we make our leave." the brit announced, walking to the next room.
The pair of unicorns looked at one another confusedly, then turned back and followed their CO.
<>
The 2 pegasi and 2 earth ponies had regrouped, making their way to the back gate, past a huge field of fine gravel, Xero and the unicorns were already there, suppressing the last few soldiers.
Xero flew to the different covers, taking out the stragglers.
"Alright Capitan, what now?" RD and Pinkie asked at the same time.
"Now, I guess, we...... go home......?" Xero wasn't sure about what to do, he had little formal training on ending missions, but whenever Omega said the mission was done, they all just went back to HQ.
"You don't sound too sure, sugarcube." the farmer mare voiced her concern.
"Darlings, it may be because of that." Rarity pointed out the massive airship floating about a kilometer above them.
"What is morale breaking is that I didn't notice that." the ninja admitted, causing everyone in the group to frown.
And then they were grabbed by a tractor beam.
<>
Stripped of their weapons and with Xero in cuffs, the battalion of guards escorted the group to the chamber of the Omnilord.
"Hey, Xero right? OVER HERE, LOOK AT ME!" a few lines of text entered Xero's vision, he looked to see a guy in a crystal walled cell.
He looked like that Hank guy Omega told him about, except with thick goggles and more clothes, as well as a red arm that looked like a lobster with a fist.
Not to mention the fact that he was 10 feet tall.
"AHEM! I EXPECT YOU TO LOOK AT ME, MAGGOT!" a powerful, stern voice reprimanded, Xero whipped around to see the possessor of said voice.
"Oh Jebus Christ not you." the cyborg lamented.
"Indeed, me." it was Jebus, though his head was covered in scars, making his merely odd visage into downright Freddy Krueger face.
"Hehe, you look like bloody shit man. Listen, I'm not going to let you come in at the last second and win this, it's not the thing that happens." the soldier spat in defiance, anger evident.
He had come here to end his persecution, and if that entailed killing Jebus again, so be it.
Breaking the cuffs with a small thrust of his wrists, he broke the prison of Hank, allowing the titan of a fighter to escape and then punch Jebus.
"I am a GOD, I will not be bullied by a lowly, stupid bea-" the son of Christ was cut off by several overhead smashes, leaving him imprinted in the ground.
"Ow....." he muttered pathetically.
"Puny god." Hank insulted, walking away and giving Xero a tag-team high five.
The ninja walked up to Jebus, still stuck in the floor, pushing a foot hard down on his chest.
"You have no authority here, you son of a bitch." the brit emphasized each word with a punch or slash.
The other bearded xionus was finished off with a stab to the brain with about 14 blades, Xero pulling out all the stops for this kill.
The airship was falling out of the sky, everyone on board could tell because the whole structure lurched and shook, tilting forward.
They needed to escape... again.
<>
It was saddening to Xero to see his friends fall like this, Rainbow Dash maintained her flight, but Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, even Pinkie and Fluttershy became splatters on the ground
He had just seen 5 of his closest friends die, actually only 4, Twilight had gone in a very different direction, but her fate had little doubt to it.
The high velocity duo slowed their flight into a swoop and landed on the broken, quaked ground, weapons practically negligible.
The cyborg attempted to summon any of his weapons, but the only ones that worked were the Lunar Zanbato, Light Arrow, and Joy Colt.
The other weapons were broken aboard the airship.
A rattling, clacking on the stones of the shattered road, like bone or metal, maybe both.
"Who the bally hell is out there, show yourself you bloody wanking coward!" he shouted the taunt, daring whatever other enemy who had the balls or stupidity to show up at this point to come out.
The monstrosity that stalked towards them was difficult to comprehend.
Xero regressed in memory, to the fight with Omega, they're only physical fight against each other, Omega was infected by XV
XV was back, with a new, more deadly host.
Author's Note
I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!.... or rather, a long period of my computer not wanting to log on to fimfiction.net, nonetheless, it's here, it was sitting half finished for almost 2 months, but now it's HERE, YAAAAAAAAY
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
My name is "Xero", prepare to die! Part 2
Xero was almost horrified at the abomination that stood in front of him, memories flooded his mind, memories of Omega and XV, of the beast he had to kill, the beast that was his best friend.
XV was more deadly in this state than Omega's body, as Omega had had no weapons when XV took over, but Twilight had powerful magical abilities.
A deafening roar of feral rage shook Xero and Rainbow Dash, threatening to knock them over.
Xero silenced the monster with a stab through the..... everything, really, he DID attack with the Lunar Zanbato after all.
Turning on some fight music, the cyborg knew it would be a toughie.
XVight Sparkle wasn't going down so easily, teleporting off of the blade, the creature used its sharp hoof holes to tear off some armor, ripping out wires and leaving the flesh underneath exposed.
Xero attempting a lift on XVight, resulting only in the beast doing an avulsion on his left ring finger and right pinky.
A howl of pain, followed by the brit busting the creature's jaw with a broken wolverine blade.
Rainbow Dash, having been shocked still, recovered at the sight of the beast's wound, attacking immediately, shots were fired, blades were slashed, blades were forcefully removed.
The spectral maned mare gasped in pain at the few feathers ripped out by the wing-blades being torn off.
Xero followed in with a volley of shots from the Joy Colt, destroying one of the monster's legs and one of the wings,
The Lunar Zanbato was blasted from his hand by a magical missile-type attack, disintegrating midair.
Using the Light Arrow, the ninja countered with several energy bolts, destroying a hoof, blasting out a hole in the body, and blowing off part of the horn and other wing.
The abomination of a pony/alien hybrid roared in a mix of carnal fury and pain, using what few teeth it had left to tear RD's Gatling Revolver to pieces.
It gave a one hoof buck to the daredevil's jaw, knocking her away and almost sending her into unconsciousness.
XVight turned to face its human opponent, meeting only a pair of revolver barrels in front of its eyes.
"You know, it's rather quite hard to decide whether or not a stupid cunt like you needs to be shot between the eyes, but with this bloody thing, that's not a problem." the soldier explained.
1 shot, 1 kill, XVight was killed, the front of her head had a pair of half-inch wide holes.
The back of the head?
.....
What back of the head? There's no back of the head on this thing.
<>
It was a funeral, for the 5 heroines of the land, Xero shed only 5 tears, 1 for each of them, Rainbow Dash kept crying quietly, trying to control her emotions, but the thought of not 1, but all 5 of her best friends, dead, kept the tears flowing.
Luna headed the funeral, as requested by Xero, seeing as she and each of the 6 mares (and Xero) were all somewhat close.
"...and now, I ask Xero, a close friend to both the Element Bearers and myself, to come up and say a few words." Luna announced, Xero hadn't been paying much attention to the eulogy, but tuned in to the speech at those last several seconds.
Standing up a bit shakily, he walked over to the podium quicker than necessary.
"I don't know what to say, I just don't know what in the bloody hell to say about what happened, I could have stopped it, but I didn't, I was foolish, and angry, and impatient, and hesitant, and a lot of bad shit, I blame myself, for all of what happened, I don't deserve to stand up here, not when I'm basically the one who killed them, I'm a terrible leader, and an even worse friend..." Xero paused, taking a stone that was thrown at him to the head, he didn't wait for more to follow, he rather did what he did best.
Run, but this time, he ran away from the opposition.
<>
It had been days, he was walking through the desert-like plane of dry, cracked dirt behind the Canterlot mountain range.
Fatigued and dehydrated, his speed had diminished to a hobble, keeping himself standing by leaning on the Steven, which he had recovered.
He felt like shit, not just physically, but metaphorically as well.
He didn't deserve to live in a wonderland like Equestria, not at all.
He had dropped the Steven, his fingers slipping from the handle.
He brought the Light Arrow to his head, ready to cut his throat.
I should have never brought them into my problems.
None of them should be dead.
I'm the one who deserves to die.
I...
I wonder......
I wonder if...........
I wonder If Omega................
I wonder if Omega would...............................
I wonder I Omega would have done any better.......................................................................
Omega.......
Kary.........
Askad...........
I wonder if their waiting for me?
They probably are.
But...
...
...
...
..
... I still wonder if Omega would have done any better.....
Time to cut my throat.
I'm too weak to do even that.
Tired...
So tired...
This seems like a good place to rest.
I hope nobody finds me.
I leave this as my last message.
Something I should have said a long time ago.
I'm just going to rest now.....
FATALITY!
Author's Note
BOOM, I can't update with such velocity as I did before, but I can try, next chapter is the last one, see you all for the next story I write, which will not be a sequel to either of these.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
It started as a normal day, Xero and Enid woke up, did their exercises, Enid for training, Xero for his health, he was old, but still fit, they did their exercises like usual.
Enid still wasn't ready for the Joy Colt, and honestly, Xero wasn't really feeling like giving it to her, not because he was greedy, but because it held too much sentimental value to him.
Suddenly, something happened.
Xero had fallen into a daydream, remembering the events that happened those 70 something years ago, he didn't remember how long, but it was spring of 2013, he narrarated his thoughts until Enid snapped him out of it, then, MBORF attacked.
"Come out with your hands in air!" a vorpal soldier leader yelled into a megaphone
Xero set off the bombs.
"OPEN FIRE!" the leader commanded
"Enid, it is time to fight." Xero informed, he coughed, Enid was by his side in a second.
"I will die here, in the heat of a glorious battle." he continued.
"We both will, master." Enid replied.
"No, not you Enid, you will live on and destroy what this bastard has created and called the new order." Xero corrected his apprentice.
"I understand, Master." Enid responded, Xero coughed, she was at his side again.
"Good, good..." Xero stayed still.
"Will you be seeing your friends again soon, Master?" Enid querried.
"Heh heh heh, yes, I'll be joining them finally, tonight." Xero laughed.
The pair jumped from the ledge, landing on the ground, they looked out for any soldiers.
"Master?" Enid stated more than asked.
"Hmm?" Xero looked to his apprentice.
"Heaven or Hell?" she said with doubt.
"Heh heh heh, LET'S ROCK!" he shouted.
They charged forward and fought the army
<>
"BLACK HOLE BOMB" Xero heard one of the soldiers scream into a megaphone, he saw the small black object flying high up in the air.
"Enid, run." he instructed calmly, immediately knowing that he was up shit creek with a flaming shark completely demolishing his boat
"But, Master, what about you?" Enid asked, though ready to run.
"RUN, get out of here as fast as you can!" Xero commanded, Enid ran.
Using the Aeroblade, Xero focused his energy, and, over the course of 5 seconds, had made several hundred slashes, obliterating a quarter of the attacking army.
The bomb hit the ground, all Xero could hear was a 'whoosh' before he vision was filled with blackness.
He felt his body shift, pain, pain all over, then he felt a dozen times better, his body had miraculously repaired itself whilst he was in this darkness, the darkness faded to bright blue, and he had the sensation of falling, he WAS falling.
He did the only thing he could think of at this point.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed, his voice sounded different, though that was probably the wind whipping past his ears.
He hit the ground.
"FUCK!!!" he shouted so loud it would give Jebus a headache, birds across a quarter mile radius flew from their resting places at the noise.
Getting up, he realized he had landed comically in a lake of water, and had hit the surface as though it were solid, sinking slowly while standing.
Swimming to shore, he looked around, he saw 2 flashes of darkness and whiteness, and reacted typically.
"What the fuck is there?" he demanded furiously, his voice was still different, he wracked both parts of his mind to find out why.
"Nope, can't figure it out, might as well look at myself." he resorted, walking over the the water, he looked at his reflection and gasped.
"I look fucking awesome!" he said conceitedly.
Indeed he did, his stubble was gone, shaved, his hair was back in it's old style, clean cut with a long ponytail and dreads to the sides of his face, though the color was different, bluish black with white highlights, like someone took the ends of his old man hair and attached them to his young man hair, he looked amazing.
He heard a noise, an animal, he brandished his Bloodwire, ready to attack.
A beast, a manticore, if Omega's occasional rants about mythology were anything to go by, burst from the foliage, Xero grabbed it's head with the wires and sliced it's skull into pieces, it was dead before it hit the ground.
He pulled out his A.P.S. to cut it up, he could use some good meat right now, even if it was raw, he could simply kick the disease's ass.
He rubbed 2 silver colored barrels across it's face, that wasn't right, he looked at his object, it was the Joy Colt, he instinctively checked his sub-space ammo box, it still had 12,000 rounds in it, he had taken to learning quite a few gun stuffs after Omega died, out of tribute if not because he wanted to be able to use them properly.
He opened up the handle, inside was the DNA lock, it still said 'Omega', he pressed a few buttons, honestly not knowing what the hell they did, the little screen went blank, then said 'Not Locked', Xero, picking up on what this meant, put a finger to his tongue, gathering a bit of saliva, he put that into the DNA lock interface, the screen went blank again before saying 'Xero', he smiled, closing the handle, the reddish hue to the black grip turned to a bluish hue, signifying that it had worked.
Loading the revolver, he sheathed it, ripped up the manticore's body, dunked the pieces in the water to clean them, and ate messily, not caring about table manners or cleanliness at this point, he didn't care at all, he had his re-obtained youth, his armor, a few weapons, his knowledge, and most of all, his revived abilities.
Drinking the water that wasn't tainted with blood and only-god-knows-what-else, he sighed, this felt a thousand times better than being old and coughing every 10 seconds. He took to the treetops, he had to find a settlement to stay at.
Scoping out a town less than a mile away, Xero made leaps and bounds from treetop to treetop, he was there in a minute.
Not wanting to appear dangerous, he sheathed all of his weapons, he still needed to make sure of what all he had.
Walking calmly into town, visor off, he heard a noise, shouting, it sounded like a mob of fans going after someone, he followed the sound quickly.
He found a crowd of small horses, about 3 feet tall from what he could tell from his highly trained depth perception, there were normal ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, they were colored wierdly and looked quite cartoony, they were talking, that's what got him.
"What in the name of Jebus's outhouse?" he asked himself, he searched his robot mind, which still had a full charge, and found a memory, Omega had, for the 2012 christmas, given Kary some pony things from a cartoon show, a few figurines, and a pair of disks, it was called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, he didn't have any feelings towards it, not really caring who liked it or not, Omega seemed to like it, even though it seemed to be for little girls, like Kary (at least at the time), but Omega always had a good reason for everything he did.
A few seconds later, the crowd cleared out, leaving a lavender unicorn and a small purple dragon, he knew his dragons, he was brought up by 2 of the most dragon-heavy countries of the world, Britain and Japan.
The unicorn walked to a large tree with windows, Xero followed, surprisingly, he hadn't been spotted, it was something wierd, no doubt, or they just didn't really payed him any mind.
He watched the mare, he knew animals, so he could tell that this pony was a mare, she entered the tree shaped building, closing the door behind her, he looked into the window, it was a library, and the purple pony was now reading a book.
'It would be funny if all the paper in the books and all the wood in the furniture was made from the wood that these ponies carved from the tree itself, like taking someone's organs, cutting them up, and putting the pieces back inside them.' Xero thought, laughing a bit.
He walked over to the door, and read the sign.
"Books and Branches Public Library? Huh, if it's public then I don't have to knock." he reasoned, he opened the door, gave a small knock anyways, and took a couple of steps inside.
"Hello, how can I help yo-AH!" she greeted and then immediately shouted in surprise.
"Hi, calm the fuck down, I can explain." Xero greeted rudely, closing the door behind himself.
This was going to be an interesting conversation.
Author's Note
AW YEAH BOOIIIIII SEQUEL.
Okay, time to start with Xero's HiE story.
This is going to be fun.
I <3 all of my readers, byeeeeee
View Online
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Xero says; You need to know your limits, for me, they're very high
Hot damn, I went back and counted, the last chapter had, like, 10 episodes spread across about 3 and a half thousand words, I'll slow it down, like, a lot.
Okay so back to the story now.
Soaring through the skies, Xero found Cloudsdale, it was easy, really, the mass of structures was very un-natural, even a foal could tell it was Cloudsdale, granted if said foal knew what Cloudsdale was.
Flying casually through the city, Xero found a lot of pegasi staring at him, apparently they hadn't heard about Equestria's first and only human.
He made his way to the Cloudiseum, he was going to sign up for the BYFC.
"Name." the hag of a mare asked.
"Xero." he replied.
"Age." she continued, she hadn't even looked up.
"19 years old." Xero answered.
"Alright, your signed up, the Competition starts at noon." the mare finally said.
"Okay then, nice to know." Xero responded, flying away.
The old mare didn't even know.
<>
Xero was flying through the air, it was great, flying, he still had plenty of skills in aerodynamics, and that helped.
He felt a sharp pain in the back of his head.
He blacked out.
Waking up to see bright white walls, Xero waited for his hearing to return before he made a move or even an idea of where he was.
Standing slowly, Xero found his wings numb, he sensed they were sedated, he looked around, there was a lot of machinery around, kinda like a factory.
"Welcome to Cloudsdale Weather Factory, human thing, scum." a dark pegasus greeted harshly.
"Tch, fuck you, I'm leaving." Xero greeted back harshly, walking away.
"In a body-bag maybe." the grim stallion replied.
"What do you do here?" Xero querried, not giving up, but now curious, still facing away from the stallion.
"We make clouds and rain, snow and fog, and most importantly, rainbows." the dark stallion answered simply.
"Right, tell you what, I'll comply." Xero lied, he had to put his deception skills to work.
"Alright then, follow me." the unnamed stallion directed.
Xero followed the pony to a hallway, down said hallway, and through a door, in which he was pushed into a room, his night-vision in his visor helped see.
The room was gargantuan, rafters leading all the way up to the ceiling, some were walkways, leading to doors.
The room was full of scared pegasi, he noticed one in particular.
Scootaloo, the spunky little filly that reminded him of himself, she was looking scared, he liked her, she made him feel like a guardian every time the CMC's shenanigans got out of hoof.
He looked at the wall.
"Next harvest: 1 hour. "
Xero merely ran over, nopony objected, they couldn't even see.
He grabbed Scootaloo and slunk through the clouds with her.
Upon being in the light, the little filly slammed her eyes shut, letting them adjust slowly.
Xero flew the pair far away from Cloudsdale.
He was NOT going back there.
<>
Entering his base, Xero turned on the lights, everything was still going.
Setting Scootaloo down on one of the carpets, he checked that all of the machines were still fully functional, everything checked out.
"W.w.w.what? What's going on? Where am I?" the scared and confused filly looked around the unfamiliar area.
"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe, that factory place won't hurt you, they'll have to go through me first, and I don't let anything get through me." Xero assured the still shaking pegasus.
"I, you, you're Xero, right?" she was still shaking, meek.
"Chin up, there you go, look at me, alright, now, yes, yes I am, I'm Xero, and I will protect you like a brother, I like you, Scootaloo, you're a good kid, and you'll grow up to be a good adult, I'll contact the bullshit with the government, and don't worry, I'll take care of you. Wait, where are your parents?" Xero would gladly have taken the little pony in, but he couldn't if she already had a family.
"They, well, they disowned me, after 7 years of abuse, negligance, violence, and other shit, they disowned me." Scootaloo had gone from shaking in fear to crying.
"Where do they live?" Xero would not tolerate cruelty against the innocent, his discipline was to destroy all evil, and these ponies were very much evil.
"At the corner of Hashtag and Plothole." Scootaloo recited the odd address.
"Not for long, you just rest up here, take a quick trip through the sanitation chamber too, it's labeled so it shouldn't be hard to find it." Xero replied.
"Okay..." Scootaloo wasn't sure what Xero would do, the other 2 CMC members had heard of his violence complex, it sounded serious.
She didn't really care, as long as they stopped being like they were.
<>
Smashing the door down with the Masamune, Xero entered the run-down house.
"Smashing, time to unleash bloody hell upon you." he had stopped suppressing his accent, a time when he was completely serious.
The 2 earth ponies stopped yelling at eachother to stare at him.
Summoning the Catalytic Lens and the Muramasa, Xero went berzerk, using every weapon he had, even the Sword of Weakness to Swords and the Gravity Hammer.
The ponies were reduced to bloodstains, Xero pissed into the mixture, then set the house on fire.
He had had fun with his actions.
He flew into the sky before anypony could see what had happened or who did it.
'In like a shadow and out like a bullet', it was all part of being a ninja.
Unless he was being a soldier, then it was 'In like a shadow and out like a horseman of the apocalypse'.
He went to do some errands, Scootaloo no longer had a family.
He would change that himself.
<>
Stepping silently into the HQ, Xero saw Scootaloo curled up sleeping, he felt his heart melt, she looked so happy.
She would be even happier when she found out about the changes that had been made.
Putting in the last few specs for his personally designed motorcycle, capable of going 750 meters per second, designed like an army motorcycle, with front-mounted .50 calibur machine guns and a single laser cannon, and rear-mounted rocket launchers and flamethrowers.
Done up in dark blue paint, with a neon cyan 'X' on the front, the rims of the wheels were also neon.
When I say neon, I mean they're neon lights, grey material that lets light through, and it lights up with bright cyan lights, like Xero's visor eyes, or Omega's visor cross.
It was called the Rider, Xero had it, and one other last weapon.
Utilizing all of the tech he had, he made a gun as a tribute to Omega, making a 1 foot wide barrel firing a circular spread of .50 BMG bullets, about 360 per shot, firing the massive things at 6000rpm, or 100 rounds a second, the projectiles were hell-flare, 'water caps', and acidic, 'hell-flare' referred to how explosive the realm was, being made of sulfur, a key component in some types of gunpowder, 'water caps' were so hot that, in some tests, the projectiles actually liquified while going through the air, thus giving the name, the acid was highly corrosive to anything but the special material the bullets were made of.
He considered calling it the 'More Dakka', but dismissed the thought, putting a large 'X' on the barrel, the whole thing looked like a massive flare-gun, he called it....
The Blue Death.
DIsmissing the weapon of MDLA (mass destruction, limited area), Xero brought forth the adoption papers.
Gently rousing the little filly, he presented the papers to her, she took them slowly, still in the process of waking up.
"Hmmmm? Whas zis?" she mumbled, wiping her eyes of sleep.
She read the paper.
Equestria Civil Services.
Familial Help District.
A change in the system has been authorized.
Upon the return of this file (signed by all parties involved), we decree that:
(rank) Citizen, (name) Xero, the (race) human, will be the (position of family) brother of (rank) Young Citizen, (name) (to be signed), the (race) pegasus. They will be officially bonded upon redeeming this document with all signatures acquired (no fields left blank).
"All you have to do is sign this, and me and you are siblings, what do you say?" Xero simplified, he really did want this.
"I say, do you have something to write with?" Scootaloo answered cheekily, she really did want this too.
Xero instantaneously placed a pen gently into her hoof's grasp, the suction-cup like appendage was surprisingly dextrous and grippable.
She signed the paper in her best hoof-writing, using Xero's back as a stable surface, the tall-ish man did not oppose.
Removing the paper from Xero's back and returning it to his possession, Scootaloo smiled.
"Give me a few moments." the surprisingly compassionate man requested, leaving with extreme speed, flailing the little filly's recently cleaned mane and tail in the wind his velocity had created.
Coming back after exactly 9 seconds, Xero landed gracefully (if a bit hard) on the ground in front of the couch, whipping Scootaloo's mane and tail again.
"Well then, let's go home sis." he directed gently, his voice regained some of its age.
"R-r-really?" Scootaloo couldn't believe it, Xero would actually take her in.
"Fuck yeah, come on, let's rock." Xero directed more forcefully, but jokingly and still mostly gentle.
"Alright!" the little filly agreed, jumping up from the couch and onto Xero's shoulder.
The pair left the building, Xero faced the cliff from the ledge he had built.
"Alright, let's fly." Xero commanded, jumping off of the ledge and spreading his wings, he felt like an assassin doing so, with a leap of faith, except he could fly.
Scootaloo did not follow, she couldn't fly, she feared she would never be able to.
"Sis, do you even fly?" Xero sounded like a beefy lifter now.
"No, I can't." she replied, sad again.
"Bull-SHIT , come on, fly." Xero responded with force, pushing his little sister off the ledge.
After several seconds, he had an awful realization.
She was telling the truth.
Flying down at Mach 4 speed, though he felt like he was going 4 mph, he chased the falling pegasus down the mountain, he caught her less than halfway down, though it might as well been mere centimeters from the ground from the way he was reacting.
"Oh dear bloody fucking hell, sis, I'm so god-dame sorry, I had no idea, I should have believed you, I promise I will never let anything bad happen to you, provided if I'm able to stop it from happening." Xero had regained some sense during his spewed apology, he felt like shit, almost causing the pony whose life he had saved to die, though he had to make it clear that even he had limits.
He couldn't do everything, but he could try.
He would try his hardest.
Letting Scootaloo ride on his back, the Raymanian human flew to his town-house.
Ahem, his and his sister's town-house, now.
It was like raising Enid all over again.
<>
Enid charged another Klien Star grenade, putting massive amounts of electricity into it, which would come out in explosive force rather than electrical charge.
She felt something rip through her, like a needed to the heart, she wasn't bleeding and her skin hadn't been pierced.
Raising her bright orange eyes to the sky, she felt Xero's presence, like he was there....
....Like he was taking her out of his life, replacing her with another.
She didn't feel sad, she was a grown woman, she could handle herself without Master Xero.
The old man probably found a new person to take care of anyways.
She continued her fighting, using the Malice to break another tank.
<>
Waking in the morning with Scootaloo bouncing on his uncovered chest, Xero gently picked his little sister up and placed her next to him, sitting up and stretching his spine out of old-man-habit, he felt satisfied at the pops and cracks his bones made, if he were still about 90 years old, he would have been abso-fucking-lutely terrified at the sounds.
Picking his sister up again, he hugged her, she giggled and hugged him back.
Breaking the embrace, Xero directed his sister out of the room so he could dress.
Pulling his clothes on, he looked at himself in the mirror, he didn't even have the 3 clawed scar on his face, his facial hair, which had started to actually grow the day before he and Omega escaped, was growing even and thick.
Running a hand through the short black and white hairs, the tall-ish man considered shaving, dismissing the thought after a few seconds.
'I should grow it out a bit more first, see how it looks.' he thought, discarding the razor and shaving cream he had unconsciously picked up.
Having satisfied his hygeine needs, it was time for breakfast.
Something simple, Xero had developed many skills while raising Enid, he had found her when she was just a small child, no more than 3 years old.
Cooking, cleaning, cosmetology, tailoring, forgery, smithing, programming, wiring, physics, etcetera.
The first one was the only skill he needed right now.
The meal was finished in a small amount of time, only about 5 minutes, he had learned how to abuse thermodynamics to suit his needs, the food cooked faster and more even than normal.
The pair ate their breakfast, only occaisionally taking a break from filling their bellies to filling the silence with idle conversation.
"So, what day is today?" Scootaloo asked her big brother, she had quickly adapted to the smaller changes, the larger ones would take some time.
"It's.... Monday, and if my mechanical clock/calender/a shit-tonne of stuff is correct, you have school in half an hour, my GPS tells me it's just a mile away, so we should have plenty of time." Xero answered his little sister at length.
"Mechanical clock? What are you talking about?" Scootaloo was confused about her brother's choice of words.
"Oh, right, you know machinery right? Equestria HAS reached that level of indutrialization. Well, I have advanced machinery inside my body, making it more powerful and efficient than a normal person's body, that's also how I do a lot of the stuff I can do, like going at Mach 5 speed and summoning weapons from seemingly nowhere." the older sibling explained.
"RIght, okay, I think I get it." Scootaloo did try to understand what her no doubt wiser brother was saying, and got the gist of most of it, some parts she could figure out on her own.
"Alright then, I don't know what to do now, we've finished our breakfast, the dishes are washed and put away, here's a hoodie to look cool." Xero analyzed, Scootaloo hadn't even noticed the transition of events, she felt better at having some good food in her belly, the dishes were indeed already cleaned and put away, and Xero had just presented her with a hoodie, it was almost 4 sizes too big.
"I gave you one that's too big because you'll grow into it." Xero explained, he knew she would take offense, under all the spunk and tomboyish-ness, Scootaloo was a still a girl, and girls took offense to implications that they weren't perfect.
Sliding easily into the larger-than-needed violet garment, Scootaloo found it would probably fit her for years to come.
"Thanks bro, it's great, I love it." Scootaloo thanked, she really did love it, hoodies were a wonder of stylishness.
"Okay, now that that's over, here's a bag of weight cylinders, carry this." Xero instructed, gently placing the heavy bag on his sister's back.
She almost buckled under the added weight, that thing must have been at least 50 kilograms!
"Carry this until you can do so with ease." Xero directed, this would be important.
He had installed a powerful master-circuit in his sister's body the previous night, he could already see her abilities strengthening, she looked more lean and strong.
Struggling with the bag for several minutes, Xero having moved the pair into a field adjacent to Ponyville, the filly found herself getting stronger.
Practically prancing around after 10 minutes of the lifting act, she felt amazing.
"Now, get into a hover." Xero was sneakily getting her closer to flying.
She discarded the bag and jumped into the air, she flapped her wings hard, getting into a hover.
"Hold it, hooooooold iiiiiiit." Xero carefully lifted his sister higher.
Slowly but surely placing more weight on her back, she stayed hovering, even with more mass to support.
Double, triple, now quadruple the weight to lift, and she was lifting it with little problem, only sweating a few drops.
"Alright now, AILERON ROLL!" he commanded.
The small pegasus spun immediately, the weights dropping off of her back.
She started to ascend.
Xero stayed level with her.
"Look down." the older sibling directed.
Scootaloo looked down, she saw the small dark grey cylinders getting smaller, she looked around, she was flying, she was FLYING.
"WOOHOOOOOO!" she shouted in joy.
"ALRIGHT!" Xero joined in the happiness.
WIth 10 minutes to go, Xero and Scootaloo spent the time teaching the latter the dynamics and other shit about flying.
About 1 minute from the start of school, Xero informed his sister.
"Hey, Scoots, it's time for school in like, 1 minute." Xero informed.
"WHAT? We're, like, 9 miles away!" the young pony was starting to panic, she had to get to school.
"Don't worry, I have your stuff on summon, just hold onto me real tight okay." Xero revealed.
Scootaloo gripped her big brother in a tight hug.
Xero zoomed towards to town at Mach 5 speed.
The thing about Mach 5 is that, it is so fast that nopony really realizes JUST how fast it was.
The speed was 1 mile in 1 second.
The pair reached the airspace over Ponyville Schoolhouse in 9 seconds flat.
Using the velocity reducer dubbed the Dime Breaker, Xero stopped immediately, doing a hundred front flips in 1 second from the lack of frontward force.
Diving downward, Xero released his little sister into the air, she glided down smoothly and gracefully to the ground.
All of the ponies in the school-yard watched as the confident orange pegasus landed with style.
Flashing a confident smile to the crowd, the ponies cheered her for her display of skills.
Nopony would believe she got those skills in less than 30 minutes.
Xero worked fast, some would say the exact speed was impossible.
Xero would reply that nothing is impossible.
The only thing that limits one is thresholds.
Xero had some extremely vast thresholds.
<>
Opening the door to his town-house, Xero directed the Cutie Mark Crusaders inside.
He had agreed to take the rowdy trio in for the night, Rarity would have done it, but she had a job to keep, and keeping a job involved doing said job, and she couldn't do her job whilst trying to manage 3 fillies.
The small trio looked around the living room, on the walls were various weapons, katanas, wakizashis, tantos, tonfas, kanobos, staffs of all sizes, it was a all arranged on the wall next to the kitchen.
"Wow, you own all a' those?" Applebloom asked in awe.
"I would think so, I made the damn things." Xero answered, closing the door.
"So many designs, there really nice looking." Sweetie Belle added.
"Yeah, bro likes to fight with style." Scootaloo answered before Xero could speak.
"I don't fight with those, they're just for show." Xero corrected.
"You fight ponies?" Sweetie asked, a bit hesitant.
"Yeah, bad ponies, I'm a soldier, like in the army." Xero poorly explained.
"That's really cool." Applebloom respected soldiers.
Being a soldier was tough work.
<>
"GET OVER HERE DARK, STOP TELEPORTING!" Aran Braveheart, the earth pony Class 4 General and one of the largest stallions in Equestria, at 5 feet tall, was chasing his fellow Class 4 General with his huge pole axe.
"Try again, AAAARRIIIIIIIINNN." Dark Gander teased with the butchering of his comrade's, the unicorn Class 4 General was teleporting around the large field-like courtyard, it was huge, the powerful mage of a soldier was no squishy wizard, he was physically fit, if a bit too lean, like an elf, but his golden necklace, complete with 6 pointed star-burst, amplified his magical power, not to mention added a large violence factor.
"Would both of you SHUT THE FUCK UP? I'm TRYING TO NAP HERE." Mogar Rogam complained to his brothers-in-arms, he was the pegasus of the trio, his dual gold-alloy mini-scythes drawn and ready to cut his fellows.
"We're just playing tag, dude, calm your balls." Dark dismissed his avian friend's complaint.
"TAG, YOU SON OF A HARLOT!" Aran, ever the old fashioned, insulted as his smacked his brother-in-arms across the face, leaving a mark that would make a welt, if the magically enhanced armor did not negate flesh-wounds.
"Right, time to run, AAAAAAAARRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN." Derek mocked his earth pony fellow, teleporting away again.
"Well shit." Aran said begrudgingly, the game of tag was easy enough for his friend, he could teleport across Equestria and back and come out with somewhat of a headache.
This was the usual activities of the Class 4 Generals, the 3 highest ranking soldiers in the Equestrian Military, play a school-yard game and take a nap, wait for disaster to do stuff.
<>
"Yeah, so, what do you 3 usually do?" Xero felt a little bad, even after 2 weeks, he hadn't listened to his little sister enough to know what she even did with her friends after school.
"We're the Cute Mark Crusaders, isn't it obvious?" Applebloom asked rhetorically.
"Sooooo what? You smoke weed and manage a coffee shop?" Xero had sounded like he was just being ridiculous, but he honestly did NOT know what exactly that name entailed, it could have been obvious, or it could have been anything.
"What? No! We crusade for our cutie marks , was it not obvious." Applebloom corrected, enunciating the words as though it should have been obvious, granted, it was obvious, but the doubt was that it really could have been anything.
"Well, I didn't know it was that simple, for all I know, that could be the name of your mafia." Xero argued.
"Even I don't know what that is." Sweetie Belle countered.
"It's not important. So, do you have a list of stuff you've tried, anything you found that you're particularly good at?" Xero querried.
"Yeah bro, sorta, hold on, I have it in here somewhere." Scootaloo answered, sitting back onto her haunches and digging through her hoodie pockets and fishing out a folded piece of paper.
Unfolding the parchment, Xero found it to be unfolding an impossible amount of times.
The list must have been at least a kilometer long, he read down the neatly written items, about half of the list was crossed out.
"What the fuck is up with this thing, how long have you 3 been doing this?" Xero asked, almost fearing the answer.
"About 4 months, why?" Sweetie answered the man's question with another question.
"Well, let's see, abacus repairers, who would even do that, bleach makers, blah blah, cookie eaters, a lot of failed attempts at spelling that one, Equestria's New Princesses? Seriously? Fuuuu-oooooh..... please tell me that this item being crossed out in red means you didn't even attempt it. (a nod from all 3) Alright, let's see again, I don't even know what that one is, that looks mispelled, that IS mispelled, so is that one, that one was spelled right the first time and replaced with a wrong spelling, loiterers, that one doesn't make sense, mafia members, neopolitan advocates, blah blah blah, blah bleh bleh blah blah, blah blah bleh bleh bleh." Xero just trailed off whilst reading the list, the items were on a rollercoaster of sensible and insane.
"How about you do things you KNOW you're good at? Instead of aimlessly chasing after your cutie marks." Xero suggested.
"That makes..... sense." Scootaloo accepted her big brother's wisdom.
The trio spent some time finding things they were good at, the activity took a few hours, writing a new list and thinking.
With 3 columns, 1 for each of them, the trio listed off many items to add.
"And you can't forget my flying skills." Scootaloo insisted, writing the item on her section.
"And my building skills." Applebloom piped up.
"And my singing skills." Sweetie Belle added.
"And you DEFINATELY can't forget it's FUCKING MIDNIGHT." Xero leaned in to yell at the trio.
He held a glass of beer, he chugged the whole thing in a few seconds.
"Let me direct you to your quarters, ladies." he suddenly embraced the poshness in his accent.
He picked up the trio and carried them upstairs.
Taking them to the room he had specified as his sister's, he showed them the large bed covered in dark blankets.
"I introduce you to the Snooze-o-matic 9001, it will get you to sleep faster than you can say 'this won't get me to sleep', enjoy, here's your tucking, a view of the night sky, everything you need to sleep." Xero sounded like Vince the Sham-Wow guy.
Placing them into the bed, tucking them in, and opening the blind enough to give them a view of the night sky.
Leaving silently and turning out the light, Xero wished the young trio good dreams.
He hoped for some himself.
<>
Xero looked around, all he could see was darkness, broken only by large flashing letters that read:
SUBJECT X ACQUIRED.
SUBJECT O UNACQUIRED.
He had been having this dream for a few weeks now, he long since stopped trying to figure out what it meant.
He drifted off to awakeness.
<>
Waking up at his usual time, his kinetic generator, known in automobiles as a 'carbuerator', he stretched and went to the bathroom, cleaning and relieving himself, taking a few extra moments to look at his beard, it looked odd, black hair with white ends was great for hair, even more for a ponytail, but not for a beard.
Electric razoring the hairs down to a shavable length, then going over them with the normal razor, he left a small amount on his jawline and around his invisible mouth, it looked good and even.
Dressing in his blue jacket and black shirt with grey circle, he made his way downstairs to make breakfast.
It was a normal life, something he had wanted for a long time.
Normal enough, at least, being the only human in a world of ponies.
It was a peaceful life, at least, normal may not ever come to him.
He was like a magnet for bad stuff to happen.
He dismissed the morbid thoughts, returning to his cooking.
He was prepared for almost anything.
And knowing his luck, he would only be faced with things he couldn't handle.
<>
The CMC needed help again.
The main reason he wanted to help them was that it was a talent show .
In his own words; Show people how awesome you are show .
He had debriefed them on the plan.
With his own guns, his ingenuity, a lack of creativity, and going over his video memories, he had it.
The 4 would be re-enacting Xero and Omega's escape from MBORF and fight with Kary-08.
In short, Xionic Madness episodes 3 and and the 3 parts of episode 4.
Applebloom would play as Askad's Robot.
Sweetie Belle would play as Kary-08.
Scootaloo would play as Xero himself.
And Xero himself would play as the only one left...
...Omega.
Dying his hair red and creating a copy of Omega's Power armor, Xero was prepared to play his heavy-duty comrade, friendship forged from the fires of battling alongside eachother.
Not much emotion to it, but more than enough trust.
Toning down the fighting scene a bit. the stage was set.
The show itself was for the whole town, the stage was set up in one of the adjacent meadows, it was a big event.
The other contestants were almost mediocre in their acts, juggling several objects, playing music, the likes, of course, every talent show had one, the contestant that did a food talent.
The wall-eyed mare who did so ate about 500 muffins, and she would have eaten more if she hadn't run out, ponies were impressed.
Then came the final act, Xero and the CMC's act.
Ingloriously titled: The Mechanical Escape.
They won, not much to say here, really.
Getting first prize, the group recieved a gold medal for each of them.
Applejack and Rarity stepped forward when the crowd was mostly dissipated.
"Great show, Applebloom, y'all made a purty good row-bot." Applejack congratulated her little sister.
"And Sweetie Belle, you made an excellent psycho-mare, your tone was divine, if I didn't know it was fake, I would have had chills, darling." Rarity complimented eloquently.
"That actually happened, you know, I actually went through all that, and more before then." Xero revealed to the 2 mares.
"How can I believe you?" Applejack was suspicious.
"Your the Element of Honesty, do some divine RPG style scan of my stats or something, I don't know how it works." Xero suggested.
Applejack stared at the man intensely, she felt the EoH magic flare up, he was telling the truth.
"Dear Celestia, it's true. How'd ya even survive that?" Applejack questioned, astonished that Xero had lived to tell the tale.
"Exactly how you just saw, except with the actual Omega and me as me." Xero answered simply.
The 2 mares stared at him in amazement, Xero gave them each a light slap and a bird-flipping, flying off with his little sister.
The pair was in the sky, Scootaloo spoke first.
"Why do you keep doing that wierd finger gesture to everypony, like, seriously everypony, you do that to every single pony you see." Scootaloo could not emphasize enough how her brother practically had his fingers permanently in that position.
"In my culture, it's a gesture of 'fuck you', we do it to people who offend us or piss us off." Xero explained, Scootaloo didn't mind his foul language, he allowed her to speak the same, not in school, of course but anywhere else was okay.
Flying to the main base, he opened the door to let the pair inside.
Sitting at his CPU interface, he made something.
A few somethings, actually.
First was an Assassin's Creed hidden blade, 9 inches long, made of mithril, bone-splittingly sharp.
He called it the Shanker.
Next was a gun, a .44magnum desert eagle, with the XIX model, it was bigger though, the barrel was 18 inches in total, the handle was 6 inches, the chambering mechanism allowed it to be used as easily as the smaller original model.
The rounds were SSAP, or Super-Sonic Armor Piercing, excellent for forcing the projectile into the enemy, despite even heavy armor.
He called it the Capper.
Adding the DNA lock to the 2 pairs of weapons, they changed color.
The blade of the Shankers turned copper-ish colored, the hidden blade housing turned royal purple colored.
The metal of the Cappers turned copper-ish, the grip turned amethyst purple colored.
They belonged to Scootaloo, she was awesome enough to handle them.
2 Deagles and 2 Hidden Blades, and awesome set of weaponry, if quite limited.
She was equipped to handle any trouble she got into.
Xero could handle anything she found that she couldn't.
The armed pair left the base.
Letting loose and going as fast as they could, they didn't care, they didn't care at all.
They were having fun.
<>
Waking up on a cloud, Xero looked around and recalled the night's events.
The siblings had flown around until they were completely exhausted, settling down on a cloud, they had slept high up in the sky, above any storms that may have formed during the night, away from any wind that might have blown them away from Ponyville air-space.
Waking his little sister up, he debriefed her on the situation.
"So, who wants cafe food?" Xero asked rhetorically.
"Sure bro, I'm pretty damn hungry." Scootaloo answered, her sibling's speech had affected her own.
"Alright, let's go." Xero directed, taking a leap-of-faith off of the cloud.
The pair sprang into consciousness from the force of the air-resistance whipping against them.
Spreading their wings and taking flight, the purple maned filly and the bluish-black haired man glided down to a cafe, with money in Xero's pocket and not much except acid inside their stomachs, they were eager to get some food.
Luckily it was the weekend, because as it turned out, the 2 had slept until about 3:10 p.m., which was after school let out.
Muching happily on some oats for Scoots, eggs and cheese with toast for Xero, the pair ate their meal ravenously, not caring about table manners or anything.
Xero looked at the ponies who were staring at him, he flipped them off, Scootaloo giggled at her brother's offense to the innocent bystanders.
Life was peaceful.
Xero knew it wouldn't stay peaceful, but he would deal with trouble as it came, using his time and energy to cherish these draining seconds.
He was prepared for anything.
Almost anything, he would try his best.
And if his best wasn't enough?
He would get a better best.
Anything to do what he needed.
And he needed to be a guardian.
Author's Note
alright, sorry for the massive delays, I got caught up with family shit as good 'ol easter is nearing.
I'm not much of a fan of the holiday, it's nice but I just don't like it all that much.
Next chapter coming sooner than this one, hopefully.
I <3 you all, byeeeeeeee.
Xero's After-the-Final Fight
Epilogue: It all fades to Red
As Xero lay there, on the dry, hot, stony ground, one thought repeated itself over and over again in his mind.
Omega....
I wonder if Omega would have done any better.
Omega...
I wonder if Omega would have done any better.
Everything seemed to slow down, the blood coming from his mouth reversed itself back in.
Before the walk of shame.
Before the funeral.
Before the fight.
Before the music competition.
Before the 2nd marriage.
Before the princess conundrum.
Before reforming Discord.
Before the Crystal Kingdom.
Before the 1st marriage.
Before taking Scootaloo in.
Before the first Discord incident.
Before the Grand Galloping Gala.
Before the Sonic Rainboom.
Before the Gilda incident.
Before the building of his lab.
Before the arrival in Ponyville.
Before the first encounter with the ponies.
Before waking up in Equestria.
An explosion.
An explosion made of blue energy.
Something came from it
Back it up. Wrong.
An explosion.
An explosion made of red energy.
Something came from it.
Red.
It was time for Red
