Chapter One: The Cycle That Never Ends

Chapter One:  The Cycle That Never Ends

As the Sun began its rare eclipse, there was a flash above a round platform.

“Der Riese”

1945

Unidentified Location

Germany

"There is probably one big switch somewhere that powers EVERYTHING. We Germans are very efficient." Richtofen said, realizing his surroundings. “Imagine that. We need to turn the power on, how original.”  Dempsey said, agreeing with his acquaintance.  They both took advantage of their surroundings, and found two weapons on two different walls.

“You know, Richtofen, I never really understood how we can buy/grab a weapon from thin air. Though I’ve never really got how these zombies came to be.” Dempsey said.

“Why are you asking questions? Why not shoot? Wait! What is this?” Richtofen shouted.

Dempsey saw Richtofen point towards a drain, and walked over there. Inside the drain appeared to be a note that read “Time to kill Maxis”.

“So, what? It’s just a note. Wait, what are you doing?!” Dempsey said, but to no avail, as Richtofen had reached to touch the note. When the Doctor made contact with the note, they had immediately been blinded by a bright bluish-white flash of light. When their senses came to, they saw that they had just teleported to the platform that they had previously been teleported to.

“What the hell is this?” Dempsey asked.

“Ya, what is this?!” Richtofen asked, examining the new device that had appeared in his hands. Before his ally could ask any questions, he quickly shouted

“Ohhhh! This is zee gun zhat Maxis had me work on! It’s called zeh ‘Wonderwaffe DG-13’, another thing we Germans are good at; making wanderbar weapons!” “Ohh Dempsey! You appear to have zee ‘Ray Gun’ attached to your back!”

“Huh? What?” Dempsey said as he reached for his back and pulled out the said weapon. “Oh shiiit, I haven’t seen one of these in like, forever!”

“Hey Dempsey, switch weapons with me, I think you will find this device very… erotic.” Richtofen said, extending his arm so Dempsey can reach.

“Fine, but what does it do?” Dempsey asked.

“It-“ Before Richtofen could answer, Dempsey pointed to a girl in front of them. “Richtofen, who the hell is that?”

“Hello Mr.Richtofen! I see you brought a friend.” The girl said, with a slight demonic tone.

“Richtofen, WHO THE HELL IS THAT?” Dempsey repeated.

“Samantha? I… c-can you get us out of here, please?” Richtofen said, now looking scared.

“Sure, all you had to do was ask! BYE BYE!” Said the girl, who was now known as Samantha. Suddenly there was a flash of light that blinded the men, and four zombie dogs appeared and leaped on them.

*Twenty minutes earlier*

As Niko drove at the Infernus’s top speed, two hundred fifty kilometers per hour (yes, that is the legitimate speed in the game), he saw a gang car coming out of an alley about one hundred fifty feet away.

“Free Roam”

2008

Firefly Projects, Broker

Liberty City

As Niko started to move the vehicle slightly off course of the gang vehicle, his phone rang.

“Shit, Roman, not now!” Niko said, pressing the ‘silent’ button on the side of his phone. But the distraction cause him to hit a fence (which didn’t break, and Niko always had wondered why), and he was flung through the windshield, and he landed on bench in a nearby park, breaking it.

“Shit, I have to watch where I’m going next time,” Niko said, getting up. “Great; I’m bleeding. At least there are no idiot Broker gangsters around,” he started to lean on the swing set next to him, as it shifted its position in the cement.

“What the frack?” Niko cursed, and backed away from the set.

“Aye! Yo, that’s the fool who jacked the stash yesterday!” A man wielding an Uzi yelled.

“Let’s drop him! Hey you! Come here!” Another man said, wielding an AA-12 explosive-shelled shotgun.

“Bullshit,” Niko cursed himself. “Hey man, there’s no need to raise your weapons,” Niko said, motioning to the men.

“Shut the fuck up!” The Uzi-man said.

“Aye, wait; I wanna see what this fool has to say,” The AA-12 man said.

“Put your weapons away, and let’s settle discuss this before you two are dead,” Niko said, ready to pull a weapon out.

“Think we dummies or something? You’s the bitch who stole our stash! Ain’t no one commin’ thru our ‘hood taking our shit! Know, tell us where it is or yo mind ain’t gonna be the only blown,” The Uzi-man said, stepping a little closer and motioning with his weapon.

“Okay, okay, my boy has it; I’ll call him up and tell him to bring it in a car. Plus, you can shoot me if you see him with a weapon,” Niko said, a little nervous.

“Yo, you think we will trust you? Not after what you did,” The Uzi-man said.

“Wait a minute, yo, what if he’s telling the truth? What if he is? I just have a feeling he is, but it’s yo choice.”

After a shrug and a glance at Niko, the Uzi-wielding man said, “Yo ass best be tellin’ the truth or yo brains is gonna be on floor!”

Niko took out his phone and speed-dialed “2”, which was Packie. He then moved a few feet away, and motioned for the gun men to move away, but to no avail. They came even closer and listened to the call.

“What up, Niko? Where do you want the bomb?” Packie said.

The last statement infuriated the gun men, and they ran into Niko, pushing him onto the center pole of the swing set. The AA-12 man aimed his gun, and Niko saw his finger pushing the trigger. Before a shot could be fired, the swing set shifted and sent Niko flying into the air at about seventy miles per hour.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Was the only thing Niko could say before he fell and hit into a black cab car; Roman’s car.

*Twenty minutes earlier*

“The Chappelle Show”

2010

Brooklyn, New York

New York

Dave was about to enter the stage when he saw a man in a hoodie in the back of the stage, sitting on a chair, looking towards him. Dave could not see his face, but he had a strange feeling he should stay away from him. Going with his feelings, he stepped on to the stage, preparing his jokes.

“Aye, I’d like to thank y’all for being here, ‘cause tonight, we’s gonna talk about some serious shizzle,” Dave said to the audience.

*Applause*

“Okay, okay, now, y’all ever heard of them ponies, or some shiz? You know, those little animated horses? What they call ’em?” Dave asked.

“My Little Pony!” A fan shouted.

“Yeah, My Little Pony. I’ve seen some brothas actually watch that shizzle, crazy huh?” Dave said.

Among the “Yeah”s, there was one “No!” from who appeared to be the same fan who answered his previous question.

“Let me tell you somethin’; if I were put in that world, I’d be pissing my pants. I mean, talking fuckin’ horses, man! I would have to be high on coke, meth, weed, acid, and be raped by a stripper to even like that,” Dave said.

Among the laughs, Dave felt an odd sensation, exact to the one he felt earlier. He heard footsteps behind him, but he felt like he should not turn around. Suddenly, a hand covered his mouth and a blade was placed under his neck, causing him to drop the mic. The audience stood still, looking at the frozen comedian.

“Your words are not funny, nor are you beliefs. Be with your jokes and experience the world,” The man behind Dave said.

Before Dave could mumble any noise, he felt the blade slide and his vision went black.

*Present*

Dempsey awoke, gasping for air, drowned in sweat. He looked around quickly, examining his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was that he was not covered in blood as he had expected to be. Next was the Wunderwaffe lying by his leg. He looked up at the sky and noticed that it was unusually clear and it was day. Dempsey heard the sound of gasping and jumped up on his feet. He saw Richtofen waking up, also covered in sweat.

“Nein! Dempsey save me! NEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!” Richtofen yelled, frighted by the peaceful scene around him.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Another voice behind Dempsey said.

Everyone looked back at the location of the voice, and was shocked.

“Dempsey, how did Nikoali get back here?” Richtofen asked.

But before Dempsey could answer, the male spoke.

“My name is Niko. Where the fuck am I? How did I get here?” Niko said, rubbing his head.

“Niko, calm down; we are as clueless as you. My name’s Tank Dempsey and this is Edward Richtofen,” Dempsey said, pointing to said person. “How did you survive the horde? Did hide out or kill their asses?”

“What? What horde? Last thing I remember is being in a fucky situation and being flung out of a swing set, God knows how high, and hitting my cousin’s car. Liberty City is fucking crazy,” Niko said, chuckling a little.

“What’s ‘Liberty C-‘” Richtofen said, interrupted by rustling in a nearby bush.

“What’s th-“

“Shhhh,” Dempsey said, picking up the Wunderwaffe and aiming it at the bush.

Soon enough, a man stood up and said, “Aye, what the fuck happened?”

Dempsey lowered the weapon and said, “I don’t know, and I’m guessing you weren’t fighting zombies either,” Dempsey pointed at the man’s clothing.

“YOU WERE FIGHTING ZOMBIES?!” Niko said, doubting the fact.

Dempsey nodded, and pointed to the small weapon holstered on Richtofen’s belt.

“You see that there; it shoots rays, green rays of death,” He responded.

“Yo, my name’s Dave, Dave Chappelle. Any idea of where the hell am I?” Dave asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

Suddenly, there was sounds of footsteps, odd footsteps, Niko thought to himself. Everyone stared in the direction of the steps, Richtofen also had the Ray Gun aimed in the direction. As an orange figure came towards the men, each of the asked the same questions; “What is that,” or “Where are we?” The figure became clear.

“An orange horse with a fucking tattoo on its ass, GREAT,” Niko said.

“I don’t think that’s a horse, Niko,” Dave said.

“Then what is it?” Dempsey said.

“What do y’all creatures think your doin’ on my land?” The orange mare said.

“Uhh,” Dave said.

“IT CAN TALK?! NEIN! NIEN! IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!” Richtofen said, dropping his weapon.

“Yes ah can, and ahm not ‘it’ mah name’s Applejack. Now tell me who and what are you things?” Applejack said.