Team Fortress 2: Operation Friendship

(Authors Note: As much as I love the new Meet the Pyro video, it completely destroyed my plans for him. However, I think I can write a better chapter with his existing personality rather than making a completely new one like I was planning.)

Chapter 11

Spike nervously glanced upward at the Soldier. Of all the people to get as his mentor, Celestia HAD to pick him. They stared at each other, the Soldier wearing an expression of the deepest disgust. “Um..hi.” Spike mumbled. The Soldier immediately brandished a leather riding crop and struck Spike over the head with it. “OW! What was that for!?” The Soldier hit him again.

“Rule number one, maggot: do not speak unless spoken to!”

“Stop it! That thing really hurts!” Spike received another blow from the riding crop.

“Be quiet maggot! Rule number two: I am to be addressed as sir at all times. Is that clear?”

“Yes..” mumbled Spike.

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good! Now then, drop and give me fifty private!”

“Fifty what?”

“Pushups private Twinkle Toes! I assume a spineless worm such as yourself is capable?”

“But sir, I can’t do that many!” This remark earned him another whack with the riding crop.

“How about a hundred then, maggot?”

“But-”

“Two hundred!”

“I....” Spike began, but thought better of it. “Yes sir.”

“Good! Now get to it!”

Spike began the drill. After around thirty pushups, his muscles burned and he was drenched in sweat. Having spent nearly all of his life helping Twilight, his small body was unable to cope with such strain. “Please sir!”, panted Spike, “Can I take a rest?”

“Absolutely not! Do you think that the enemy will give you a break just because you feel tired? No sir!” The Soldier rested his boot on Spike’s back. “Now finish the drill, you pathetic lizard! You have already dishonored this entire unit with your weakness!”

Spike began to tear up. It was just so unfair. He knew he couldn’t do two hundred pushups, especially with the Soldier stepping on his back. He would give anything to be back in the library in Ponyville instead of out here in intense agony.

“Is that a tear I see maggot? Too hard for you? How about another fifty!”

Spike didn’t finish his pushups until late into the night, after all the others had finished and returned to their bunks. By this point, Spike was unable to even lift his arms, let alone stand himself up.

“That’ll do, maggot. Stand up” With a great effort, Spike managed to stand. His legs threatened to give way under him. The Soldier walked over to his bag and retrieved a bottle of water which he tossed to Spike. Spike greedily drank every last drop.

“Stand straight, private.” The Soldier paced around a little. “If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Son, who said that? And I’d say he knows a little more about fighting than you do pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor!”

“What in Equestria is he talking about?” wondered Spike, “Is he crazy or something?”

“And then he used his fight money to buy two of every living animal on Earth! And then he herded them onto a boat. And then he beat the crap out of every single one!”

“Yep, he’s definitely crazy.”

“And from that day forward anytime a group of animals are together, its called a zoo! Unless it’s a farm! Have I made myself clear private?”

“Yes sir”

“Good! You are dismissed. Hit the showers, you disgusting maggot.”

“Yes sir.” Spike was never more happy to obey a command in his life.

After a long shower, Spike went straight to bed. He was too tired to be hungry. He walked into the bunk room, where all the others were chattering about their day (with the exception of Big Macintosh).

Twilight saw him enter and greeted him. "Hey Spike, what took you so long? How was training?"

Spike could only manage a grunt as he trudged off to his bed and collapsed upon it. As he was falling asleep, all Spike could think about was training, and what fresh hell the Soldier would have prepared for him the next day. "This is going to be a long week."