Team Fortress 2: Operation Friendship

Mmph!

Derpy Hooves made her way over to the masked human, who was mumbling a merry tune. She was just about to wave to him to attract his attention, when the largest of the humans stopped her. "Be careful little pony," he said in his foreign accent, "That Pyro is trouble."

Derpy frowned. "Why, whats wrong with him?"

The Heavy shifted uncomfortably. "I fear no man. Or pony. But that thing......It scares me. Just be careful." And with that, the Heavy went off to join Big Macintosh.

Derpy looked back at the Pyro. Even though there was something off about him, he was the friendliest of RED team. She hesitantly began to trot over to him.

The Pyro hummed happily as he cleaned his flamethrower. Not only was it a near-perfect day, but he was also about to make a new friend. He hadn't had much luck with friends, however. The only one who really talked to him was the Engineer. He looked up from his flamethrower and saw a small grey pony with eyes that went in different directions. He ecstatically waved his gloved hand and shouted for her, trying to get her attention. She noticed and began to hesitantly walk over. "Hudda Huh!" he called encouragingly. He then began to cough through his respirator, still recovering from the wound the assassin inflicted upon him.

As Derpy came closer, the Pyro noticed she seemed unhappy. "Hi" she said, staring at the ground. The pyro gave an encouraging mumble. Derpy, however, stood silently. The Pyro pondered for a moment. It wouldn't do at all for his new friend to be unhappy. Suddenly, an idea struck him. He went over to his things, pulled a birdcage out from one of his duffel bags, and placed it upon his head. Derpy, upon seeing such an absurd thing, couldn't help but laugh. The Pyro beckoned her over to his  bag, which was filled to the brim with all hats of various shapes and sizes

Derpy reached in and pulled out a small beanie with a propeller on the top. The Pyro chuckled, and put on a flowered day hat. Soon, they were both trying on hats of all sorts, spending the better part of the morning laughing and enjoying themselves.

Once all the hats had been tried on, the time had come for some actual training. The Pyro took out one of his flamethrowers. This one was similar to his favorite, but it had a metal head of a beast on one end. "Mmph" said the Pyro, pointing at the trigger. He then moved his hand along the length of the weapon to the head. "Mm Mmmph". He then spread both hands wide. "Hudda huh. Mmph?" The Pyro cocked his head, seemingly inquiring if Derpy had understood his instructions.

Somehow, Derpy had managed to understand him. She picked up the flamethrower to the best of her abilities, and pulled the handle, lighting one of Celestia's hedges ablaze. "Oops!"

The Pyro, however, didn't seem to think anything was wrong at all. He was jumping up and down and clapping like a foal. The spectacle brought a smile to Derpy's face. As the hedge burned down to cinders, the Pyro withdrew another weapon, this one much smaller than his flamethrower. "Mmph" he said, gesturing to it. He then pointed at a target he had set up down range. He held the weapon at arms length and fired a bright red projectile at the target, which hit the target dead center. He then handed the weapon to Derpy. She gripped it with her mouth, aimed at the target, and shot. The flare missed the target completely, and landed dangerously close to the Demoman, who shot her a nasty glare. The Pyro slapped his face with his hand. "Hudda hudda......"

They spend the remainder of the day practicing with the flare gun. By the end, all of Derpy's shots came close to or hit the target. It wasn't very good, but it was a start. As night began to fall, the Pyro gestured for them to return to their barracks. They waved goodbye to each other, and went off their separate ways, happy to have made a new friend.

Princess Luna was sitting in her royal chamber, reading a book. It was a love story involving were-ponies and vampires. "Uggh, is this what ponies are reading nowadays? I should have just stayed on the moon....." She went over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She smiled. Soon, everything would fall into place. Celestia would fall, RED team would be destroyed, and those insolent ponies who had defeated her with the elements of harmony would be imprisoned. She would become the princess to her adoring subjects, and more importantly, she would make Celestia suffer for every ounce of humiliation she put her through. It was only a matter of time.

"Hello, Princess" said a voice from behind her. A shiver ran down her spine. She hated it when he snuck up on her like that. From the darkness, a tall figure aproached, his face obscured. "I trust everything is going according to plan?"

"Of course it is, these foals are too thick to realize the obvious. Once the Griffins sort out their political issues, they will unleash a devastating invasion on Equestria, one that nothing will be able to stop. Although I have every confidence that they will be able to dispatch RED with minimal issues, I still want to make sure they're out of the picture."

"With all due respect, Princess, these men are not to be trifled with. I have seen what they can do, and they are more than capable of causing all sorts of problems." The dark figure took out a cigarette and lit it, the small ember barely illuminating his face.

Luna wrinkled her nose at the acrid smoke. "That's where you come in. You are the only person who has any knowledge of these people's capabilities. I need you to either eliminate them, or set up the means for another to do so."

The glow from the cigarette made his grin visible. "Not that I don't want the job, but how much am I getting payed for this?"

"I assure you, you will be well rewarded for your service. Once the job is finished, and my rise to power is complete, you shall be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams."

His smile grew wider. It was time to get payback for what these bastards had done to his colleagues. "Consider it done, Princess."

"Good, now get out of here, I don't want us to be overheard. Oh, and one more thing. I don't want any funny business from you. I don't think I need to tell you what happens to traitors?"

"Of course not, Princess." And with that, the tall figure vanished.