"Goddamn those windshields cost a pretty penny." Paul muttered regretfully as the truck rolled along the road to Sweet Apple Acres, Joe following close behind in his car.

"Ah don't even understand why yah ever worked fer them." Apple Bloom said in reply. "Ah mean they tried tah swindle mah family out a our home and livelihood."

"Yeah, I saw that episode." Paul replied

"What?" she asked while giving him an odd look.

"Nothing." He said quickly. "I see what you're saying. They have learned to mellow out lately and cut Lex Luthor a check."

"What's that supposed tah mean?"

"It means they learned that they could have made killing if they'd just offered you guys a fair deal instead of low balling you and then trying to steal the farm out from underneath you guys."

"How'd they learn that?" Applebloom asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Me. They've made a killing off of creating stuff from my world. Something to do with using magic to recreate things I've seen and know about, I don't know the specifics and I don't really care. Long and short of it, I'm the biggest gold mine they've ever had. They could have done the same thing with Joe but he wasn't really interested. Their biggest killing is in arm sales, especially to the Griffon Nation Military. Hell, they practically are the military over there. Now they've got R&D making a trigger that doesn't require fingers, so they can start selling to Equestria. Anyway, that was some party, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, except when yah woke me up with that guitar." She said giving him a slight shove.

"Oh come on! That was funny! You should have seen how you looked, in fact you can! Here." He said, pulling out his phone and showing her the picture of her clinging to the ceiling, teeth chattering.

"Yahr such a pain in the plot!" She scowled playfully, weakly slapping at his arm.

"Thank you." He replied, giggling as he pulled in front of the house with Joe parking up right behind him.

Joe stepped out of his car at this point and walked over to the two. "Morning Apple Bloom. You're looking good this morning.....all things considered." He said furrowing his brow at Paul.

"I regret nothing!" Paul exclaimed in response.

Joe shook his head at his friends silliness before he looked down at the license plate and noticed that is was a 1980's
Golden State edition California license plate with the characters: "PAULLIN".

"You put your name on your license plate?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, you just now notice that?" Paul replied.

"Huh, my mom used to do the same thing with my underwear." Joe replied recalling a near forgotten memory.

"Your mother put license plates in your underwear? How did you sit?" Paul said with a serious expression on his face before laughing at his joke. At this Joe started laughing himself and Apple Bloom soon joined in, not because she understood the joke but because of the simple fact that laughter is infectious.

At that point the front door to the house opened and Applejack stepped out on to the front porch.

"Mornin' Y'all!" Applejack called out to the group.

"Morning Applejack!" Joe called to her.

At this Paul made a loud whinny sound.

Applejack's gaze turned to Paul and soured slightly before speaking to him, "Paul, could yah come in here? Ah need to talk to yah." Applejack said in a tense tone of voice before walking back inside the house.

"That doesn't sound ominous at all." Paul said sarcastically. "Be right back guys." He said giving Apple Bloom a peck on the cheek before starting to walk inside.

"Famous last words!" Joe yelled at him.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Chuckles! By the way, if I do die, don't touch my stuff!" He yelled back to his friend before walking inside. He quickly opened the door again to yell out to him, "It's booby trapped!"

Joe gave smirk before Apple Bloom gave him a shove and an unamused look. "What?" Joe asked before getting another shove.

Paul walked into the main hall and looked around but saw nobody in the room. "Honey...I'm Home." Paul muttered quietly to himself. "Weird. Feels like I just walked into the Spencer Mansion or the Raccoon Police Department.” He mused to nobody in particular. "Hello!? Applejack? If you're trying to pull a jump scare on me.........it'll probably work, I'm sensitive to that stuff." He called out as he continued to search.

All of a sudden, a swivel office chair that he had failed a spot check on, swung around to reveal Applejack sitting in it with her fore hooves pressed together. "Hello Paul......." She said in an icy tone.

Paul jumped for a moment before quickly regaining his composure. He didn't want to look weak in front of anybody, least of all Applejack. "Nice trick with the chair there Blofeld. All you need now is puffy white cat for you to stroke. Why don't you ask Rarity? I'm sure she'll lend you Opal." He told her, before chuckling at his own cleverness.

"Ah'm not even gonna pretend tah understand what yer talking bout, but ah'll write it off as one a yer human jokes." She huffed with little change in her expression.

"Funny, my mom said something similar to that." Paul replied as he grabbed an Apple out of the fruit bowl that was lying on the dining table. He took a bite before taking a seat on the couch near Applejack then took another bite of the apple. "So, what's swingin' Jackson?"

"From now on ah want start seeing more of yah here on the farm." Applejack said as she sat down at the table.

"Okay, I'll gain weight." Paul said with a smirk before taking another bite and swallowing.

"You're very funny Paul." She replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Thanks Applejack. I try to be." He snickered as he took yet another bite of the apple.

"Ah've come to accept Apple Bloom's choice on her very special somepony… even though ah still think she's making a big mistake. She still has her heart set on you." She continued.

"And I her." Paul replied.

"But...if YOU are going to be in a relationship with my kin, then yahr going to start pulling more weight around here." She said with a small ghost of a devilish grin forming on her face.

"Such as?" Paul inquired.

"Ah want you working here every single day of the week." She reiterated.

Paul laughed a few times before speaking again, "Uh....Applejack, don't you think you're being just a little bit obsessive about this now? I pull plenty weight around here, pretty much on par with Joe. So what exactly do you want?"

"Ah want you working here every single day of the week. Joe doesn’t have tah work around here as much as he does. He ain’t datin muh sister." She replied.

"I think you're forgetting something AJ, I don't just have this job as my source of income. I work as a fixer and I do some for Flim and Flam." Paul said.

At the mention of their names, Applejack tensed up before speaking, "Ah am well aware of your....OTHER sources of employment....but if yah want tah be in a relationship with Apple Bloom, yah need my approval. So it seems ah have something to say about what you do and where you go with her."

"Applejack......" Paul said as he got up and paced about before turning to look at her. “If you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave... Well, that's where you're right." Applejack smirked slightly at this. "But… I am only saying this because I care. There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing."

"I'm not kidding, Paul." She said in a serious tone.

"Neither am I, Applejack." Paul replied in a matching tone.

The two looked at each other for a short period before Applejack spoke up again, "Well then, yahr assignment for today is to take down a couple of diseased trees out in the orchard. Big Mac's out there right now trying to get them down and he hasn't had much luck. I want you to take care of it." She said with a small grin.

"Yes mam." He said before starting to walk outside.

"Oh Paul.....Before you do that, could you send Apple Bloom in here? Granny needs her help." Applejack stated.
"Yessim Masta." Paul said in a mocking tone before walking outside.

As the door shut behind him, Applejack chuckled to herself slightly. "That'll keep that bag of ponyfeathers busy all day." She said before giving another evil chuckle.........

"Wow. You managed to have a conversation with Applejack without having things broken or shots fired. Let's give him a big hand!" Joe called to him with a few claps of his hands.

"Bite me muscle head." Paul said with playful smirk.

"So what did muh sis want with yah?" Apple Bloom inquired.

"Well she can't get me out of your life so she's taken to passive aggressive tactics." Paul replied while walking over to the passenger side of his truck, reaching through the window and grabbing a carton of cigarettes from the glove box. He brought one up to his lips before opening his zippo lighter and pushing down on the wheel.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joe inquired.

"It means..." He paused to light his cigarette before flicking the lid of the lighter closed and placing it in his pocket. "That Applejack is going to have me working here every single day of the week from now on." Paul replied matter-of-factly.

"What!? She can't do that!" Apple Bloom cried.

"Yes she can, AB. She is my boss......and apparently....now the bane of my existence." he said before chuckling and inhaling and exhaling.

"That does it! Ah'm going in there and givin' her a piece of mah mind!" Apple Bloom scowled she stormed towards the house.

Paul grabbed her and spun her around to face him. "Don't." He said in a commanding voice.

"But she can't get away with this! She..." She said before being interrupted

"Will be dealt with at a later time. For now you need to go inside and help Granny Smith with something. Okay?......" He replied.

"But..."

"OKAY?........." He said again.

"Shoot. All right then, but only because you can sway me easily." She said with a loving grin.

"Atta girl." He said, giving her a peck on the forehead. "Now go on, don't keep your Granny waitin'!" he said before she walked inside the house.

Paul sighed before looking over to his hulking friend. "Hey Joe, could help me for a moment?" Paul said as he began walking over the trees that Applejack had assigned him to cut down.

"Sure, what's up?" Joe replied.

"Applejack wants me to cut down these diseased trees that have been giving Mac a peck of trouble." He said as he continued to walk.

"Yikes! That sounds like an uphill battle." Joe said.

"Tell me about it." Paul replied as he puffed on his cigarette, "Probably phase one of her plan to get back at me for being with Apple Bloom. Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Applejack." He said with an exhale.

"I don't get it man. It's like this whole thing has just set her off." Joe said with a shake of his head.

"Ehhhhh...It's nothing. If I can handle seeing Cthulhu and not completely losing my sanity, I think I can deal with
anything Applejack throws at me. Figuratively AND literally." He said

"Cthulhu? What the hell are you talking about Paul?" Joe asked.

"I'm talking about getting an unwanted eyeful of Mac's package." Paul replied

"Why the hell are you calling his junk, Cthulhu?" Joe asked.

"Three reasons: One, It's shockingly huge. Two, The mere sight of it drives men to insanity, and Three, it probably has some weird doomsday cult worshiping it." Paul said as they started to approach the tree that Big Mac was unsuccessfully attempting to knock over.

"Really?" Joe said in a deadpan tone.

"Hey, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase: 'In his house at r'lyeh dead cthulhu waits dreaming' because when I saw it, that fucker was awake." Paul said seriously.

"Wow.........I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that you saw his dick or that fact that you put this much effort into coming up with this." Joe replied

"What are y'all talkin' about?" Mac inquired.

"NOTHING!" Paul and Joe yelled simultaneously.

"Okay then........." Mac said, taken aback by their sudden response.

"So........Mac, ol' buddy ol' pal, what's up with these trees?" Paul replied motioning to the two dead and diseased trees, in an attempt to change the subject.

"Some sort a… magical diseasel has taken hold of these trees and ah can't get them tah drop over nah matter how hard ah buck 'em or whack at 'em." He replied whipping the sweat from his brow.

"Hmmm......" Paul rubbed his chin before examining the trees. After about 45 seconds, he looked up at Mac and Joe. "I think I have something that might be able to bring this down. Joe grab an axe and help Mac make a nice dent in these two. I'll be right back."

"Okay. What are you getting?" Joe asked.

"It's a surprise." Paul said cryptically before puffing on his cigarette some more and walking off.

At this Mac and Joe gave each other a worried look and a shudder before going about their business.

Paul walked back to his truck to get his mystery implement. As he did he began to whistle and then flat sing to himself one of his favorite songs from his childhood:

It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
We're Animaniacs!
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're Animanie,
Totally insaney
Here's the show's namey
Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.

He reached his truck just as he finished singing. He opened the tailgate and hopped in the bed before walking over to the locked container mounted to the front of the bed near the cab. He grabbed his set of keys from his pocket and picked one out before inserting it into the lock and turning it.
*Trunk Shot: Mounted Container looking up at Paul*
Paul opened the lid and looked inside at his implement with a satisfied smile. "Hello again Blooper." He said before reaching in and grabbing 'Blooper'........

5 Minutes Later........
Joe was hacking away at one tree with an axe while Mac was going full tilt bucking at the other tree without much
success. "Jeez, I hope whatever Paul's bringing can do the job because for some reason your strength and my axe just aren't cutting it." Joe said to Mac.

"Here. Let me try mine." They heard Paul say. Mac and Joe turned around to see Paul standing about 100 meters back away from them with a tube in his hands.

"What do yah got there Paul?" Mac inquired to him.

"Why don't you guys come here and take a look!?" Paul called back to the two.

The two shrugged at each other before starting to walk over to him. As they did the tube began to become clearer in detail. "What do you have there Paul?" Joe said in a worried tone.

"This Joe, is Blooper. You might know him by his more common name: The M79 Grenade Launcher." Paul said as he pulled an M406 40x46 mm HE round from his pocket and pressed the locking latch causing the breech to drop down and he inserted the round into the breach before closing it up again with *CLICK!* sound.

"What? Where the hell did you get that? You don't expect me to believe you had that when you first showed up here do you!?" Joe replied incredulously.

"You'd be right about that Joe. Flim and Flam made this beauty for me. Comin' to a military near you!" He said with a chuckle.

"So what exactly does that thing do?" Mac said.

"Well Mac, I think it would be better if I showed you." Paul said as he took a couple steps in front of the two. He flipped up and adjusted the leaf sights then pushed the safety on 'Blooper' forward to the 'FIRE' position. He took aim and muttered to the duo, "You might want to cover your ears guys." Joe did so quickly while Mac did so in a matter that showed he had no idea what was about to happen.

At that Paul pulled back on the trigger and the launcher made a loud 'BLOOP!' sound before the round sped out of the chamber, making contact with the first tree just moments later.

The round exploded against the trunk of the tree with a loud 'BOOM!' Blowing a huge hole section out of the trunk. Both Joe and Mac stood in awe of what just happened. Mac especially considering he had never seen something like this before. Paul pressed on breech release button and ejected the spent casing before inserting a second round. He closed the breech and took aim at the second tree before pulling the trigger and sending the second round screaming toward the tree with another loud 'BLOOP!' The second round blew a large section out of the tree and the combined explosive shock caused both trees to start to fall over.

"TIMBERRRRRRR!!!" He yelled as the trees fell to the ground with a mighty 'CRASH!!!'

Applejack and Apple Bloom came racing outside at this point to see the smoke clearing from the fallen trees. "What in tarnation was that noise!?" Applejack yelled.

"That, was the sound of victory!" Paul exclaimed proudly as he ejected the spent casing and closed up 'Blooper' again.

Dust and debris started settling as Mac took his hooves away from his ears. Joe got a half assed smile that crossed his face while Applebloom stood with a shocked look on her face.

“Time for a smo…” Paul reached for a cigarette but was cut short when Applejack swung him around with a furious look.

“WHAT IN EQUESTRIA WERE YAH TRYIN TAH DO?!” She boomed and Paul looked both ways as if he had no idea what she was talking about. “WELL?!” She boomed again. An piece of burning debris fell beside them and Paul leaned over, pressing his cigarette tip to the burning embers and igniting his smoke.

“Want one?” Paul asked snidely as he waved the toxic fumes in front of her nostrils. Applejack reefed back to strike Paul, who cringed playfully, knowing full well how much it would hurt.

Applejack swung forward as hard as she could just as Paul snickered and closed his eyes. “HEY!” Yelled a voice. Paul stood there, cringing and waiting for the strike to be over with.

After a moment’s time, he slowly opened his left eye, to see Joe grasping Applejack’s wrist. “Just… oh for the love of god…” Joe hissed as he pushed Applejack back. “Paul, one of these days she’s gonna kill you.” Joe muttered before pointing to Applejack.

“You go…” He started as he pointed to Applejack, “Just… go and do whatever it was you were doing. Paul, stop being a fucking smartass for once.”

Paul rolled his eyes, “Okay Mr. Serious… jeez party pooper.” Paul muttered the last part to himself as he began to walk away, Blooper still in his hands.

Joe scowled as he pulled Blooper out of Paul’s hands. “HEY!” Paul scowled.

“Give me this thing… before you take someponies’ eye out.” Joe snarled then looked to Applejack. “Can we please just… no more fighting, for like five minutes.” Joe murmured.

Applejack began walking away, making a comment that Joe should ‘Keep his dog on a leash.’ Joe let out an irritated sigh before tossing the M79 back at Paul.

“What?!” Paul gasped, wondering why his friend was acting so weird all of a sudden.

“I think I have a hangover.” Joe muttered in a depressed tone.

Before Applejack went back inside she yelled back to Paul, "Ah want that field out yonder cleared! It's got the same problem those two trees had! And you aren't using that contraption of yours!" before going back inside and slamming the door.

"Honestly Paul, Ah think yahr delibarately tryin' to piss mah sister off." Apple Bloom added before going back inside.

Paul shrugged it off and walked over to look at the field in the distance that he was supposed to clear. "I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve AJ." He said to himself before pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

"Hey guys, I got a favor I need to ask of you............"

*4 hours later*

Paul came walking back up over the hill to the Apple Homestead where Big Mac, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Joe were finishing up maintenance on the house. Apple Bloom looked up and saw Paul sauntering up with a smug look of self-satisfaction on his face.

"Hey Paul!" She called out happily as she set down the hammer she was using.

"Yahr done awful fast. Ah'm havin' an awful hard time believing yah managed tah clear that entire field that quickly." Applejack said interrogatively.

"Oh I'm not done yet. In fact they're all still there....but they won't be in about a few minutes..." He said cryptically.

"What do yah mean by that?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, Paul.....what are you up to?" Joe pitched in.

Suddenly something crackled, "Variable, this is Easy Rhino, do you copy? Over."

Paul reached into his back pocket and pulled up a hand held radio. "Just a moment..." He said, holding up his index
finger before pressing a button on the radio and speaking into it. "Loud and Clear, Easy Rhino. Do we have a gig?"

"That's a rog!" A different voice said into the radio.

"Brother of mine, I believe I was using the radio." The original voice crackled.. "Flim you always get to use the radio!" The other voice snapped back.

"Wait a minute......Is that those no-good Flim-Flam Brothers!?" Applejack said angrily.

Ignoring her, Paul spoke into the radio, "Easy Rhino maintain proper radio protocol. I say again, maintain proper radio protocol. Now I suggest you get clear of the danger zone. How copy? Over."

"Copy! Everything's good to go! Moving clear of danger zone now! Over." The radio crackled

"Roger that. Notify me when you are clear. Over." Paul said before lowering the radio.

"What are those no good swindlers doing in our field!?" Applejack said as she angrily got in Paul's face.

"They're helping me get ready to take that field of dead trees." He replied calmly with a smile on his face.

"But you've been doing that for 4 hours now. Why are they still there?" Joe asked.

"I'm glad you asked Joe. It's because for the past 4 hours. Flim and Flam have been helping me lay the field with about 400 pounds of 'shit your pants.'" He informed his friend, a grin splaying across his face.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Mac asked.

Just then the radio crackled, "Variable, this is Easy Rhino. We are clear of the danger zone. Start the music. Over."

"Copy. Keep your heads down boys and enjoy the fireworks! Should be quite a show! They'll be able to see this one in Canterlot! Out!" He said releasing the 'Talk' button on the radio.

"Roger! Smoke 'em! Out!" The radio crackled before falling silent.

Paul reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handheld device. "What meant by that Mac, is that we just finished laying that dead field with about 400 pounds of military grade, magically enhanced Plastic Explosive." He said, grinning all the while. "Actually, it's more like a combination of plastic explosive and napalm, both magically enhanced for that extra oomph. Speaking of which you might want to keep you head down and watch the field." He said, pointing to field he had labored in.

"WHAT!? WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT STUFF!!?" Joe yelled incredulously.

"You'd be surprised what Flim and Flam can make!" Paul said as he flicked the arm switch on the detonator.

"What exactly is 'Plastic Explosive' and what's 'Napalm'?" Applebloom asked.

"Let's just say you should take Paul's advice and keep your head down." Joe said as he crouched and pulled Apple Bloom down with him.

Big Mac and Applejack looked worriedly as they complied and ducked down before looking at Paul who was once again wearing his daredevil grin. "BIG ASS TITIES!!" He yelled before pressing the lever on the detonator. *CLICK!*

As the group watched the field, it suddenly lighting up in a huge series of fiery explosions as the charges detonated. A huge shock wave rippled throughout the farm, nearly knocking everybody on their asses as the fireballs grew and combined, almost creating a single mushroom cloud explosion.

"YEAH! THAT'S! MY! SHIT!" Paul yelled as he cackled like a madman at the sight of the explosions. The final charges detonated sending the fireball high into the sky as another shock wave swept across the area. The group could feel the force and heat in their face as the fireball peaked.

"MOTHER NATURE JUST PISSED HER PANTSUIT!" Paul yelled as he continued to laugh and dance around, the explosion finally starting to die down.

At that point everybody else had begun standing up and it was at that time a small piece of wood from the dead field flew through the air and sped through Applejack's hat and pinned it to the barn with a *SPRONGGGG!* Applejack immediately looked back and saw what had happened before turning to look at Paul with a rage filled look in her eye.

"Oh shit." Joe and Mac said at the same time.

Paul quickly looked back and forth nervously before speaking, "And now for my next impersonation......Jesse Owens!" he said before quickly sprinting away, Applejack quickly chasing after him.

Mac looked to Joe who simply sighed. “Aren’t yah gonna help yer friend?” Mac asked, worried for Paul’s well-being.

Joe shook his head, “I told him to stop being a smartass… and besides, I think I feel a migraine coming on.” He muttered.

Author's Note

The M79:

The License Plate Style:

Yes, you've heard right. The Flim Flam brothers have gone from being shady cider salesmen to basically being the guy from Lord of War except they're legitimate.

Find the Young Frankenstein reference!