Black Rose

Black Rose:

I looked at Mac. He looked confused, I figured he would be worried or something. Honestly wasn't quite sure what to expect. He looked me up and down, and a chuckle escaped him. Wasn't sure what was so funny, that pony who said she was my mother said I was going to die very soon. The voice was even encouraging me to kill myself before my actual time would come. It was hard to ignore, especially when it made a song for it.

"Kill yourself and get it done, off yourself and we'll have fun. It'll be fun, you will die, and I will have pie. You’re going to die, and I will have pie. By the way the cake is a lie." It started to sing. It continued and it wasn't helping my situation. Mac couldn't understand what was going on. How could he, he doesn't know who my mother is, or the voice, or even how I'm going to die. Actually to be truthful, I didn't know how I was going to die. All I really knew that it was going to be painful.

"Rose, everypony will die at some point." He said with amusement in his voice. It felt good to see him laughing like that. Felt good and just as well bad in the same. I smiled at him, I hardly even knew Mac. He hardly even knew me. But he was the first pony I had ever talked too. I felt a connection with him, I felt it when I first laid eyes on him.

"I guess you're right." I said looking away from him. I was holding back the tears that wanted to show how I was really feeling. I couldn't hold them back, was bad timing too. I just looked back at Mac. His smile instantly left his face.

"You okay?" He asked, taking a step toward me. I nodded my head. I couldn't speak, my emotions were stuck in my throat. I tried clearing my throat but it wasn't helping. All I could do was sit there and cry, I felt pathetic.

"You are pathetic, see this is why you should kill yourself. It'll save you all this pain and trouble. Oh shit! I'm actually being nice! Bah, it don't matter either way I win. You die and you’re miserable, I'm happy for you Rosie poise." The voice said, I went from sad to pissed in zero to no seconds.

"Shut up! I hate you! I wish you would just go away!" I screamed as loud as I could. I was on the ground trying to bash my head in with my hooves. I rolled around on the ground punching my head as hard as I could.

"Rose, Rose! Stop it!" Mac yelled trying to stop me. But at this point I couldn't hear him. I was screaming and the voice was still talking. It was encouraging me to keep hitting myself so I would get brain damage. I was so angry. I was pounding on the ground like a little child. "Rose!"

"…" Mac had slapped me across the face. The right side of my face was hot and burning. I had stopped crying from the shock of what happened. I could hardly see Mac through my mane. I felt fresh tears welling in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, he brushed my mane from my left. He made an attempt to bush the right side free from my eye. But I had hugged him with, I felt my tears falling off of my face. I was sure they were soaking into his coat. I looked down at the ground and saw them fall to the ground. One clear and water like, the other black and oily.

"I think so...sorry about that." I said wiping my eyes. I made sure my face was clear of any tears. He looked at me frowning. I think he was worried, but I couldn't be sure.

"You weren't kidding where you. You're going to die soon aren't you?" He asked looking me in the eye. I looked away from him. I felt stupid, I freaked out. I bet I looked like a crazy girl to him. I persisted with looking me in the eye. Once I actually looked, I felt warm. I leaned in and we kissed for a short time. It was a big shock to me, I pulled back abruptly.

"Someone came to me and told me I have something that is going to kill me. Something I have inside of me." I said, I looked at Mac. He looked a little worried, but also reassuring.

"I think they are wrong. You look healthy to me, nothing wrong whatsoever. Maybe a little bit of a spaz, but other than that, nothing else." I smiled at Mac. He was sweet, he really was. The one who came to me was my mother. I know she was, she told me things only I could and would know. She told me about the voice, that is why I believe her.

“We could always get you looked at by a doctor, just to make sure.” He said offering me an encouraging smile. But as soon as I heard doctor, I felt my heart climb into my throat.

“Doctor! No-no-no I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s nothing, I have to go-bye Mac.” I said turning around and hightailing it as fast as I could.

“Wait—Rose?” He yelled after me. He was chasing after me, but I lost him in the orchard. Once I was inside of my hut I took in a deep breath and calmed myself. No way was I seeing a damn doctor.

“What a bitch you were to Mac. I bet he hates you now.” The voice said laughing at me. I did feel bad for running away like that. But, I don’t know; something about a doctor just frightens me. If a doctor saw my eye-no there would be none of that. No one will see my eye. “That eye of yours, it’s mine.”

“No it’s not you...” I felt stupid for talking to myself. There were nights when the voice and I would argue. The damn thing never shuts up. I looked at the small fire, I only did what I could to get by. Harvested things in the forest, kept to myself. Never got involved with anyone; who would want to even know me in the first place. It was a mistake to even see Mac.

“Rose?” I heard Mac’s voice boom in the night. I looked outside and saw him not far from my hut. I stomped out my fire and crawled into the leaves and hay I used as a bed. “Please Rose, I just want to help!”

“Your such a bitch.” I tried to ignore him, it was difficult too. I had tears in my eyes. I felt horrible for what I was doing. “Making him run around lost like that. What if he gets lost? What if he never comes back? It’ll be all your damn fault.”

“That...won’t happen...” I told myself. But I didn’t believe it fully. I cried into the hay I used as a pillow; listening to Mac yelling for me fade in the distance. “He’ll be fine.”

“Now he will die, and it’s going to be all your fault. You just killed the only pony you felt anything for.” The voice said harshly. The damn thing was trying to make me feel bad and it was working. “Remember the first day you saw him; you should have never saw him. He would still be alive if it wasn’t for you.”

“Fuck you.” I said burying my face into the hay. The tears were thick as they made their way down my face. I felt so pathetic. It was difficult for me to fall asleep, but I was able to get an hour or two. I gave up when the sun rose and its bright light was shining over the land. I poked my head outside and felt the warm rays on my face. It was very bright, but my eyes soon adjusted. Once I was able to see I saw Mac standing not far from my hut looking at me.

“No wonder why I couldn’t find you.” Mac said smiling at me. He hadn’t had slept. I could tell just by looking at his eyes. It made me feel better to know he was alright, but felt bad about making him worry and stay up all night looking for me.

"Why didn't you stop looking for me?" I asked him not able to look him in the eye. It hurt to see him like this.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." He said giving me a warm smile.

"Are you stupid? You could have been killed; what if you never came back!" I felt tears in my eyes. Why did I always have to cry? Mac quickly came over to me and held me. "Why?"

"I don't know." He said hugging me tightly.

"You’re so stupid..." I cried into his coat. I just couldn't help it, I thought he was going to die.

"I know." He said comforting me. We were like that until I stopped crying. I looked at him; eyes stinging and with a frog in my throat. I punched him as hard as I could.

"Don't scare me, please don't scare me." I gave him a hard hug. He hugged me back, It felt really good; it felt right. He felt so warm-so safe-so secure. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry Rose." I sighed and felt relaxed. "Do you really live here?"

"Ah...yeah." I said feeling a little embarrassed.

"You certainly are a survivor." He said with a light chuckle.

"Says the guy who walked all night in the Everfree forest." I said feeling myself chuckle a bit. I looked at Mac, his eyes seemed to glow to me. He didn't look tired anymore; maybe he looked complete. I felt something warm in my chest, it felt good to have him here, with me.

“I was worried about you.” Mac said looking at me. His eyes were haunting; he had a life, a real life. Me- I was the girl from the forest who didn't even have a life. I had nothing to live for, nothing in this world was for me. I was a stranger, I really was- wasn't I? It wasn't fare, it just wasn't fare. The lives we are all dealt with, all the lives that exist in this world. Why is this my life? “You okay?”

“Huh?” I felt myself drift back into reality. I looked at Mac, who was looking at me with confusion. I wasn't sure why he was looking at me like that.

“You alright, you have an odd look on your face.” I shook my head and gave him a smile. I pushed myself into him; feeling his coat against mine. He was so warm, so welcoming- I never wanted to let go. “I just don't get you.”

“What?” I asked, my turn to look confused. He sighed and looked at me with a warm smile.

“You’re not like anypony I've met. Why are you so different?” He asked rubbing his eyes. Mac had been up all night, his eyes must have been bugging him terribly.

“Maybe, it's because I'm complicated.” I said not sure how to answer his question. Odd- I never viewed myself as complicated. My life was simple, wake up, and find something to eat, make a fire, argue with the voice, and then fall asleep. It didn't seem that complicated; or maybe I'm meaning it as I'm different, which makes me complicated.

“I wish there was a book I could read about all of this.” Mac said chuckling. “Not that I read much.”

“Book! You have books?” I asked almost knocking him to the ground. He stumbled on his hooves; giving me a confused look. I felt my ears flop against my head; feeling the embarrassment set in. My face felt really hot.

“What about them?” Mac asked looking befuddled. I loved book to tell the truth. I've only read a few that I found in the forest. Some of them had missing pages and were hard to read, but I still read what little I had over and over. The stories portrayed with words, and the knowledge of learning. It was so exciting.

“It's nothing.” I said still feeling embarrassed. Mac started to laugh; sometimes he just surprised me. I still wasn't good with others, so I didn't know what to do; or how to react.

“You like books don't you. Well- I know the pony for you to meet.” Mac said starting to walk away. I wasn't sure what he wanted, so I followed him. After about a half an hour we were walking in Ponyville. There were a lot of ponies as we walked. I was keeping close to Mac; I was feeling sick seeing all the ponies around me.

"Mac, where are we going?" I felt myself getting paranoid. He looked at me and smiled. He continued to walk his path. His silence was not helping me, so I walked closer to him; I just couldn't help it. I lived in a forest for my whole life, only having to deal with a voice inside of my head. I'm wasn't use to other; being with Mac's family was tough enough to deal with. Especially her sister Applebloom, who asked question after question; mostly about my cutie mark and how I got it. She was quite disappointed when I told her I didn't know how I got it.

"Here we are, welcome to the Golden Oaks Library." The word library caught me off guard. I actually knew what that word was. It was something I had always wished to see. But I never thought I would see one.

"This is actually a library; one full of books?" I asked feeling amazed at the giant tree. It looked like house more than a library. Mac went up to the door and knocked. After a few minutes a purple alicorn opened the door.

"Oh, well hello Big Mac. How can I help you?" She asked stepping aside to let Mac inside. The alicorn looked at me with confusion. I was hesitant, but I did follow after Mac. I stayed close to him; wasn't sure if anything was safe, but I did feel paranoid.

"This is my friend Black Rose. She loves books, so I figured I'd take her here." I looked around and the room I was in was full of books; huge selves of books. The whole world melted away from me as I looked at them. I helped myself to the books, looking at each cover. I soon had a nice pile near me.

"Reminds me of myself." The alicorn said with a chuckle.

"Wasn't sure how'd she react Twilight. Glade she is enjoying herself; you don't mind do you?" Mac asked. The purple alicorn named Twilight shook her head with a smile.

"Nope, not at all. She is welcome to any book in the library." Twilight said with a smile as she walked into the other room.

"Who was that?" I heard a male’s voice ask from the other room.

"It's Big Mac and a friend of his." She said disappearing into the other room.

"What’s the friend’s name?"

"Black Rose."

"Oh, I rather like that name." The male’s voices said in a British type of accent.

"Ash, enough with that voice. Just go back to writing." Twilight said with a chuckle.

"Fine- fine." Ash said with a laugh. They sounded like they got along very well.

"Find something you like?" Mac asked coming over to me. He sat near me, I was half dead to the world. Looking at every cover, reading every title and author. I was getting goose bumps. I then pulled out a special book, one with a rose red cover with gold lettering. 'World Flowers.'

"Yes." I said opening the cover. The first picture was a rose, and on the left of the book it had a description for the flower. I started to page through the book slowly, just looking at the pictures, and skimming the lettering.

"Enjoying yourself Rosie Poise." I heard the voice said. But this time, it sounded distant from me. Like it wasn't inside of my head. I looked around and all I saw was darkness. "Welcome home."

"What? Where am I?" I asked feeling scared. A ray of light blinded me for a minute. Once I was able to see I found myself looking at myself. But this me, had a green coat with a white mane. The eyes were the worst feature about her, and that forsaken smile. Her irisis were black and her pupil was white, it was haunting. Her smile was like a evil clowns smile. Her lips pulled tightly to each side, showing off menacing razor sharp teeth.

“Where I usually am.” She said walking in a circle around me. I watched her, afraid of what she might do. I couldn't risk anything, I had to keep my eyes on her. That smile stayed, and that one eye that showed dug itself into me. “You see, this is a realm of torture. I brought you here to torture you; but I've been doing that since your whole life haven’t I? It's all because of your mother really.”

“Leave her out of this.” I said feeling myself getting angry. I was afraid, I really was; but I had to stand up for myself. I had to try at least. I couldn't let this voice win. “You're not even real, you’re just something in my head. None of this is real.”

“Oh, but that is where you are wrong Rosie.” She said stopping; her smile seemed to grow larger. The next thing I knew, I was on a table. It was a hard wooden table, like a workbench. I was tied down, limbs spread out in different directions. I looked around; trying to figure out what just happened.

“What’s going on here?” I asked trying to break free of my bindings. I pulled and pulled, but it was to no avail. The next thing I felt was pain, sheer pain going through my entire being. I screamed, screaming bloody murder, from the confusion and the pain.

“What a pleasant sound your making.” The voice said with a laugh. I looked in her direction and saw what was causing the pain. There was a knife in my side. The voice smiled at me as she slowly took the blade out of my skin. I shivered in pain as the knife left my flesh.

“You bitch!” I yelled feeling myself go numb. I felt my eyes get heavy and it felt like I was leaving my body. My eyes rolled back into my head as I felt nothing.

“Rose! Rose, please wake up!” I heard Mac’s voice yell I felt myself fall into darkness.