Daring Do and The Jungle of Terror

"Princess Celestia! We came as soon as we could!"

Rainbow and Daring were greeted by, not Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna, having sex with a banana.

“GREETINGS YOUNG FOALS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE SO EARLY
THIS FRUIT HATH SEDUCED ME
HAS ANYPONY EVEN SO FAR AS DECIDED WHAT TO DO AS WITH SUCH THINGS?
IT IS PUSHED AND PUT”

"Um, your sister requested our presence here." Dash said.

"Oh, that?" Luna asked. "That was me writing that letter, and impersonating my own sister. I actually invited you here because I have a request."

"And what would this request be?" Daring asked.

The old banana was brown and soft, so it kinked in the middle.

Suddenly Daring Do got a painful itch at his cutie mark!

"I need you to retrieve something." Luna began.

"Legend tells of a great land, far away from Equestria, known as the Shit Empire. It was inhabited by the Shit Ponies. It's like the Crystal Empire, except it's covered in dog feces. In the ruins of this great land, there is a relic known as the Shit Dildo. Having sex with it will give you the powers of the Shit Ponies. I want you to find the ruins of the Shit Empire, find where the Dildo is, and bring it to me.

"Alright." Daring said.

"But only if you let us use it!" Dash demanded.

"Fine then. Your task is set out for you. But beware...for there is a great demon that guards the Shit Dildo. If you want it, you will have to get through the demon first."

"We'll be careful, Luna. We will destroy that demon, and get the Shit Dildo."

"Actually, you know what? I'm not going." Rainbow decided.

"WHAT?!" Daring yelled.

"I'm not going to drench myself in shit for a dildo." Dash said.

"But I need a partner..." Daring begged.

"Sorry. You're on your own." Rainbow said, and she left the room.

"DAMMIT!" Daring yelled. "Now I need a new partner! Who would be willing to help me get the Shit Dildo?"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY, SHIT DILDO!?" asked the voice of a familiar pink pony.

THE LEGEND OF DARING DO: OCARINA OF SHIT
PRESS START

Rainbow Dash suddenly had an idea.

"We should get my friends to help! Except Rarity, that bitch won't go near shit. Actually, that'd be hilarious to push her into dog shit. Hah!"

AREA I: SHIT MEADOWS

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMY..."

"Ugh..." moaned Daring. "Pinkie, are you really this excited to go get a dildo covered in shit?"

"Well, YEAH!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I HAVE A SHIT FETISH, YOU KNOW!"

"Actually, I didn't know that." Daring said. "And now I have so many bad mental images of what you and Twilight do with your free time..."

"Hey, LOOK!" Pinkie yelled.

They could not believe what they saw. One of OP's Nigger Minions!

"Mwhahahahahahaha! I HAVE RETURNED!" a voice announced. It was the voice of OP.

"What!?" Daring yelled. "I THOUGHT ME AND DASHIE KILLED YOU IN THE LAST ACT!"

"I came back from the dead." OP said.

"Well, I'm not going to question that. Anyways, I assume you are trying to get the Shit Dildo, too?" Daring asked.

"Well, you must be psychic! That's EXACTLY what I'm looking for!" OP said. "I will harness the powers of the Shit Ponies, and use them to RULE THE WORLD!"

"Well, we're going to stop you! We're going to get that Shit Dildo, and bring it to Princess Luna! Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring announced.
"...Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring asked again.
"...Pinkie? What are you staring at?" Daring questioned.

"I'm staring at OP's beautiful face..." Pinkie moaned in delight.

"What?! OP's face looks like shit!" Daring exclaimed.

"Well, that's why he's so beautiful! I love shit!" Pinkie yelled.

"I guess that explains it..." Daring said.

Meanwhile Luna had snuck off to meet her sister. Celestia quickly glanced at her, while Luna took a seat beside her. Looking over the balcony, they watched as Daring Doo checked her maps to try to find the location of the Shit Dildo.

"Did they fall for it?" Celestia said, stifling a laugh.

"Big time, they think the shit dildo exists. What a bunch of fucking retards."

"Still," Celestia said, surveying her subjects in the hall below, "if it'll distract them long enough for me to steal back the legendary dildo."

"I love you, sis."

"Don't be a faggot, Luna."