What Am I Doing Here?

So, it was the day after I helped Luna and there I sat in the throne room, giving all the information I could about Earth to Celestia while Twilight writes down what I say. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were also in the room. I went through the basics of humanity. Machines, how far our technology has gone, advancements in medicines, buildings and of the sort. I then moved on to history.

God damnnit I was a lover of history.

"So, many of my species believed in a divine being we named "God". Now, I myself don't think he existed-"

"Why not?"

I turned to Twilight and growled a little.

"Interrupt me again and I might ask for fried pony for dinner."

She gasped and went back to her writing.

"I didn't believe in God because there was no logic or evidence to an all powerful being."

I heard a light giggle and turned to Rainbow.

"What's so funny?"

She smirked and laughed a little.

"I've met an all powerful being before."

She flew up in the air and did a loop with a massive smile.

"He's the most amazing stallion I've ever met."

I raise an eyebrow and smile.

"Well, where is he right now?"

She frowned and slowly descended.

".....not here."

I shrugged and turned back to Celestia.

"Anyway, many of the believers had different gods and different quantities of said being. But basically, the being in question supposedly created their world. I however do not believe in that. Many others believe it was a massive explosion named The Big Bang. I somewhat agree with this idea. Makes way more sense then some all powerful and magic being clicking his fingers then our world appeared out of nowhere."

I exhaled a deep breath I was holding and continued.

"Anyway, after the creation of our world gigantic beings called Dinosaurs roamed the planet."

Pinkie bounded in from nowhere in front of my face.

"What did they eat!? What did they eat!?"

This will creep her out.

"Some ate plants, much like you do. Others, ate each other."

She stopped bouncing and her face went green. I watched as she zoomed out of the room and I heard vomiting noises. I turned back to Celestia and continued.

"After a few million years, they were wiped out. This has many debates on how, but the biggest theory is a meteor. After that..."

I gestured to myself.

"...we came along. Humanity was hiding and when the world ended it decided to show itself. I will admit, humanity is a cowardice race at heart."

Celestia laughed lightly.

"But you however are not. You ran head strung into the Everfree Forest to save a filly, hurting you considerably in the process."

I shrugged and made a "meh" noise.

"I'd do anything for those fillies."

She nodded and waved a hoof, signalling me to continue.

"Right, so at first we were quite barbaric. But then, over the course of time, we evolved. After a few thousand years, we became homo sapiens. The one before us was named homo erectus."

I turned my head away, suppressing a chuckle.

"Hehehe. Erectus."

I turned back to Celestia, who had an amused look. I clapped my hands and continued.

"Right, so we evolved and became this. Although, our race isn't near perfect like yours. We had weaponry, wars, criminals, drugs, dictators and of the like. Our race is nowhere near perfect."

After about 4 hours of non stop questioning, I was finally done. I slumped back in my chair and exhaled with relief.

"There. That's all the information I can give you. Can I please go now?"

Celestia shook her head and looked to Twilight.

"Twilight, leave us."

At first Twilight looked insulted. But quickly regained composure and bowed. She exited out the door and closed it behind her. Celestia cleared her throat and looked to me.

"Now, it is to my understanding that you and Roseluck are in a very intimate relationship?"

Screw you Twilight.

I nod and cross my arms.

"Yes. Do you have anything against it?"

She shook her head and raised a hoof.

"No. But, I need to ask. Do you have intercourse?"

Holy fuck. If something was in my mouth I would've spat it out. I was shocked that she was asking such a personal question. I nodded my head, worried about where this was going.

"Yeah. But I'm-"

"Just because your natural age is over 3000 does not mean that your body and mind are of that same age."

Well, fuck.

I groaned and jumped onto my feet with my arms crossed.

"Well, so?"

She smirks and stands up.

"Which means you've been having under age sex and have been doing under age drinking."

Who told her about my drinking?

Wait what!?

She leans closer to me and winks.

"Keep this conversation to yourself."

What?

She turns and walks to her throne, taking a seat. I still stood there confused.

"What?"

She puts a hoof to her mouth and winks again.

"Shhh. Nopony needs to know."

Is she letting me off the hook? Wow.

I smile and mock bow.

"Thank you, your majesty."

I stand back up and run out the doors to the room with a goofy grin on my face. I ran out the castle and towards the Train Station where we all agreed to meet at the specific time. Sure enough, everyone was there. I stopped before I could crash into anypony. I was sweating and panting like a pig. Rose walked up to me with a smart arse smile.

"You alright?"

I nodded and stretched my back. I looked down to Rose and smiled.

"Don't worry about me. I've never been better. Lets go."

-----The Next Day-----

I woke up in Rose's bed like normal. The only thing I found weird was that Rose wasn't in the bed with me. I jump out and look around. She wasn't in the room. I get my shirt on and rush down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once again, nopony anywhere.

I look around and found a note on the table. I picked it up and read it.

"Meet me at Sugar Cube Corner ~ Rose."

I sighed and rubbed my head.

"Lemme guess. A birthday party? Jesus, I'm only 16- wait no I've already forgotten my real age."

I shrugged and dropped the note back on the table.

"For simplicity's sake lets just say I'm 16."

I rubbed my head as I walked to the front door and exit the home. I looked down the streets and saw that nopony was around. Where were they? I continued down the empty streets towards Sugar Cube Corner and look into the windows.

It was pitch black inside. But I knew if there were ponies inside, they could see me. I leaned away from the window and took a deep breath.

"Here goes nothing."

I open the door and enter the bakery. Instantly, light filled my eyes and there was a loud resonant "Surprise!".

I open my eyes and see ponies everywhere. Rose walked up to me along with the fillies with a large cake and a smile. I read the icing on the cake;

"Happy 3480th Birthday, Crystal!"

Wow. Not even I can remember my own age. How in the fuck did they remember? I grin and kneel down to their level. Luckily for me, they only put 16 candles on the cake. I think 3480 candles wouldn't fit. Applebloom jumped up and down with the biggest smile on her face.

"Make a wish!"

Why? I didn't believe in wishing. Besides that, I had everything I wanted right here. Ah well. I close my eyes and blow out the candles. Everypony cheered for me.

"Wha' did ya wish for?"

I didn't wish for anything, but I'll tell her a made up one. Hey, I don't like lying but to keep these fillies happy I'll do anything.

"I wished that I could be here for as long as I live."

I stood up and clapped my hands, turning around.

"Right, now- WOAH!"

Rose grabbed me by my jacket and made me fall on my arse.

"Na huh. You're not going anywhere!"

I laughed and stood up.

"Okay, fine."

Scootaloo grabbed my sleeve and directed me towards a seat at the table, sitting me down. There was a large variety of sweets in front of me.

Oh god. I think I might puke.

"What's wrong? You're looking green."

I nodded and turned to Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah, too much sugar makes me sick."

She nodded and the fillies jumped on to a seat each, with Rose sitting next to me. They didn't sit like Lyra Heartstrings did, which looked like an imitation of me. They just sat on the seats as if they were sitting normally. The fillies clapped their hooves in unison and raised their hooves to the air.

"Cutie Mark Sweet Exterminators!"

They all reached out and grabbed a whole lot of sweets, gobbling them down. Wow, these girls would do anything for me as well apparently.

My life was amazing. Three amazing little girls, one beautiful marefriend and a whole lot of friends. Life was awesome.

Then, my vision slowly faded into a bright light. It was blinding. I could faintly hear Rose calling out for my name, along with the fillies also trying to reach me.

When my vision returned, I shot up in my bed.

Oh, just a dream.

I looked around and noticed something.

This wasn't Rose's room. It was my room. My room from Earth....

I heard knocking at my door and my Dad entered the room.

"Alright, son. Time for breaky. What do ya want?"

I slowly shook my head. This couldn't be real. Shit.

"Um, I-I-I'm fine dad."

He nodded and left the room, closing the door.

NO FUCKING WAY! That couldn't have been a dream! No!

I rest my head into my hands and cry. Thats all I could do. My friends, those fillies, Rose.....

All were gone. I know they were real, they had to be. IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ALL A DREAM!

In fury, I stomped my foot onto the floor. Something came out of my pant leg. I lean down and was in shock.

My sonic screwdriver had fallen out. Which meant...

It was all real. But when they notice I'm gone, they have to be quick. If they're lucky they'll be here in a year. But I know one thing.

I will be waiting. I will always wait for those ponies. No matter how long it shall take, I will be waiting.

The End.....

For Now