What Am I Doing Here?

Well, Princess Luna told Celestia about my constellation idea, and has invited me and my friends to Canterlot. And I was fuckin' right, it is the city on the mountain. So we are all on the train to Canterlot with naught but a DSi and a sonic screwdriver. None of us knew why the Princess wanted to see me so badly but I ain't going to argue with an all powerful being. So, I was going on the Internet with my DSi lookin' up YouTube videos. Then an idea struck me. This is the Internet from another Earth. Possibly the one that see's this world as fake.

Hm.

I went to Google and tried to remember the name of the TV show this is all based around.

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

The second I Googled that shit, millions of results come up with the show. Okay. I go to the search bar and add to the search.

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Roseluck

I searched it and there was results about Rose just being a background pony. Okay, let's stray into the depths of the Internet. I go to Google Images and type in the same thing. I scrolled through screen caps of Rose for a while. I knew what happened if you went too far into Google Images. We've all done it before. Be it on accident or on purpose. If you go too far down Google Images you will eventually come upon porn or gore pics of whatever you searched.

God fucking damnnit. When I was lookin' through the images I forgot that.

It's not like I haven't seen her naked before or anything. Hell, I've seen the real thing. But, when it's on the Internet it's either weird or gross lookin'.

Besides, none of the pictures looked anything close to the real thing.

I closed the lid of my DSi and stare out the window. This was kinda exciting for me. I've never been up a mountain before. I've never seen snow before either. Australia might've been an awesome country, but for fucks sake it needed more snow. I hope it snows in Ponyville. I turn away from the scenery and look to Rainbow Dash, who was sitting next to me. On my opposite side sat Rose.

"Hey, Rainbow? Does it snow in Ponyville?"

She gave me that look. The look that screams "Are you retarded, man?".

I hated being treated like an idiot.

She nodded and waved her hooves around.

"Yeah, it snows everywhere. Why?"

I sighed and looked back out the window.

"It never snowed back where I lived on Earth except in the mountains, and I never went to the mountains in my life."

I glanced back at her. She had a look of pity for me.

"You've...never seen snow?"

I look back out the window and nod.

"Yeah."

She squirmed around in her seat and looked back to me.

"Hey, isn't it your Birthday soon?"

I eyed her suspiciously, wondering how she knew. But quickly looked away because Rose must've told her.

"By memory, it's in 3 days."

She nods and clapped her hooves together.

Holy shit she just copied what I do.

"Then I have the best present for you."

I waved a hand to her, not taking my eyes off the outside

"Thanks but no thanks."

She pouted and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Wether you like it or not, I'm going to give you a present."

I shrugged and flicked the glass.

"Do what you want."

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head and turned to face Rainbow.

"Nah. I'm just worried about what Celestia wants from me."

She smiled and patted me on the knee.

"Hey, she isn't evil or anything. She won't harm you. And if she tries to..."

She smashes her hooves together and her faces turns to one of anger.

"I'll make sure she won't."

Holy fuck I was scared. This mare was willing to fight her ruler to help a friend. She must care about me a lot. I've never had friends before so I'm not used to this kind of caring. I turn back to the window and sighed.

"Whatever."

A few minutes later, with help from my screwdriver on the train controls, we reached the city of Canterlot. I let the girls all exit first. Hey, I'm a gentlemen when I wanna be. Shut the fuck up. I walk off the train and find myself surrounded by about 10 guards.

What. I thought I was invited.

One of the guards steps forward and aims a sword at me.

"Stand aside, ladies! We'll take care of this beast!"

I smiled and leaned to my left, looking beyond the guards.

"Oi, Tia! You need to inform,your guards!"

The guards froze and slowly turned around. Right behind them was the Princess of Day and Night. They spun around and bowed, as did the others. I just stood there looking at the princesses.

"You need to remind your guards that you have a visitor."

-----Throne Room----

So, there we were sitting at the biggest fucking table in history chomping down some food. Or actually, I was chomping down food. Everypony was staring at me. Maybe it's because I was biting the fuck out of a slab of meat. I yanked the piece free and looked to everypony.

"Right. Tia! I wasn't joking about the guards. Next time I come over, remind them."

Celestia nodded and took a sip from a tea cup.

"I shall remember to inform them. I apologize for their attitude towards you."

I dig back into my meat and Celestia stands up.

"I have an offer to make."

Her horn glows and within a flash of bright light, a case appeared in front of her. She spun it around and slowly levitated it to me over the table.

"You may have this. In return, you must give us information about Earth. After all, you are our only source of knowledge for Earth."

When the case rested in front of me, I eyed her curiously.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to come here?"

She nodded.

"Originally, I wasn't going to offer something and just ask. But now I see you might need the incentive."

I opened the case and my eyes grew wide. Celestia smiled and sat back in her chair.

"It's called Leon."

I slowly picked up the magnificent blade from the case. Holy fuck! This was amazing! I raised the blade above my head, marvelling in it's beauty. I slowly place it back in the case, then throw the case over the table towards Celestia. Now, even Celestia looked shocked.

"I don't want a sword."

She nodded and waved her hooves.

"Then what do you want from me?"

I leaned back and looked up in thought. I know. I stood up and slammed my hands on the table.

"I want to design the constellations in the night sky."

Celestia nodded and I sat back in my chair.

"Very well. I shall tell Luna that today you will be here for the night to help her decorate her sky."

I smiled and chomped down on the last piece of meat. I stood up and stretched.

"Anyway, I'll give you the information tommorow. Right now I wanna take a walk. Comin' Rose?"

She got up from her chair and walked over to me, following as I exit the throne room and start walking around. None of the others joined us. As I was looking at the sights, I heard some remarks from the ponies around me.

"Oh, my word! What a beast!"

"Awful, repulsive monster!"

I laughed very hard and held my stomach.

"Oh no. We're in the kingdom of the poms."

Rose looked up to me with confusion.

"Poms?"

I laughed and pointed directly at a random pony with a top hat.

"Yeah, one of these cunts."

I heard multiple gasps around me from the poms.

"How rude!"

I laugh and spun around to face the pony.

"I wasn't trying to be polite, bitch!"

Gasps again. I strolled off like a smart arse with Rose giggling behind me.

-----That Night-----

So, I was told to go to Luna's bed chambers at night. All of my friends had their own rooms while I share a room with Rose. I knocked on the gigantic double doors. They were decorated with pictures of the night sky with a moon in the middle.

"Enter."

The doors slowly opened and revealed the inside. Luna was sitting on a massive fucking bed covered in stars. Her expression remained the same as I approached her.

"Ah, Crystal. I was told that you would be aiding me in creating constellations."

I nod and walked past Luna and to the balcony.

"Let's get started."

When she walked next to me, she looked worried.

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"It's just that...the poms around here reminded me of what I am to all of you. A monster. A freak. A-"

"No. You're as much apart of this world as any of our subjects. Never forget that."

I turned to the princess of the night and smiled.

"Thanks, Luna."

She smiled as well before looking up to the sky in determination. I grinned and looked up as well.

"I have a few ideas of what we can draw on this beautiful landscape."

-----Few Hours Later-----

I slowly walked into Rose's room and crept up to the bed. I spotted her sleeping form and started shaking her.

"Hey, Rose!"

She stirred awake and looked at me groggily.

"What, Crystal?"

I scoop her up and start running down the hallways towards Luna's bed chamber. The princess was on the balcony smiling at me as I enter. I placed Rose on the ground and walked over to the balcony.

"Check this out."

She started walking towards me slowly. When she got to me I pointed to a spot in the sky. Her eyes grew wide.

"Is that?"

I nodded.

"It's your cutie mark."

In the night sky, was a rose made up of stars. It looked exactly like her cutie mark. I've seen the thing enough times to know what it looks like. I looked down to her and grinned.

"What do you think?"

Without warning she leapt up to my chest, I grabbed her before she fell, and started kissing me. She stopped and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I love it and you."

I smile and let her down. I looked to Luna and  mock saluted.

"It was nice doing business with you."

She nodded and mock saluted back. I take Rose in my arms and exit the chambers.

I wasn't looking forward to tommorow. I'm not an expert on Earth, even though I might've been born there. Hell, I doubt any one from the blue planet was an expert on everything about Earth. Although, I do know a lot of history. I loved history back on Earth. I might ask Twilight to teach me some Equestrian history.

I walked down the hallways of the castle with Rose in my arms. She looked up at me and gave me a kiss on my chin. I looked down to her and laughed.

"What was that for?"

She giggled and rested her head on my arm.

"Can't I show some affection towards my coltfriend once in a while?"

I smiled and leaned my head down, kissing her on the head. She looked up at me with a grin.

"What was that for?"

I shrugged and continued walking.

"I felt like it."

She laughs and yawns, lying her head back in my arms. I walked into our room and carefully laid her down in bed, with me sliding under the blankets. I close my eyes and hope for the best of tommorow.