CH1:Where the hell are we?!
It was a normal day in Carmichael, California, and Ian and Anthony were bored out of their minds. Anthony sighed and mumbled,"I'm so friggin' bored. What do you want to do today Ian?''
Ian replied, "Dude, I don't know... How 'bout we look up tumblr questions?''
''Nah, too lazy," Anthony moaned.
Ian's face brightened up as he suggested, "Dude, want to play with the oujia board?''
''Fuck no! Those things are fucking dangerous! Are you fucking insane?!" shouted Anthony.
"God! Sorry dude, I was just brain storming," Ian replied.
They decided to switch the TV on in hopes of entertaining themselves for a few minutes. The news came on and that's when the headline popped up: APPROACHING WORMHOLE IN CARMICHAEL, CA! EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY! While the reporter on the screen described what exactly was going on, Ian complained, "Dude this can't be-"
Anthony cut him off. "Shh! I'm trying to listen!"
"Come on Anthony you know those things aren't real!'' Ian exclaimed. "It's just some stupid prank like 2012 or Justin Bieber's success. It's probably just an early April Fools joke."
"Yea,h you might be right. Maybe it is an... wait! But it's only February!"
Suddenly there was a loud rumble above them and the roof to their house was ripped apart and blew away. There it was, hovering right above them: A giant worm hole. It was as big as Ian's hate for the barber shop pole... possibly even bigger! The two clung to the closest grounded object they could find. Anthony tried to hang on to the kitchen counter, but couldn't bear the powerful vacuum of the worm hole. "No....." Anthony's voice trailed off as he was sucked up into the massive hole.
"Anthony!!!" Ian cried as he watched he friend be swept away. Just then, Ian realized that he let go of what was keeping him down and screamed, "Shi....." He was absorbed into the hole as well.
~~~~~
After shooting through the wormhole for what seemed like hundreds of hours to them, the duo finally saw a light. "Holy shit dude, I think I found a way out of here! We're gonna be okay, Ian!" Anthony yelled to his friend. He was begining to cry tears of joy at what he was witnessing.
"What the hell are we just floating here for then? Let's go!'' Ian laughed and grabbed Anthony's hand, the two working to move towards the light.
At that moment everything went dark. Completely dark. Anthony laid unconscious for a few hours before he woke up. Anthony woke up in a lush, green apple orchard with Ian was nowhere in sight. ''Ian?'' Anthony tried to stand on his feet, but immediatly fell back down. "What the hell? Why can't I stand up right?"
He gradually rose up again, trying to adjust to this odd feeling he had. Once he succeeded in standing, he looked down and realized he hads hooves. "Ah!'' Flustered, Anthony scrambled backwards, knocking into an apple tree. He slid onto the ground. "Dammit, that hurt!" Anthony whined as he was rubbed the back of his head to ease the pain.
Just then, a light orange pony wearing a cowboy hat galloped up to him. "Oh mah, what happened to ya feller?" Anthony just sat on the grass, quivering. "Yer not from 'round here, are ya? Ah've never seen ya 'round Ponyville 'fore."
Anthony caught his breathe and screamed "Oh my god! You can talk?!"
Taken back by the odd question, the country accented mare answered, "Um... 'course Ah can talk. Ah'm a pony, ain't Ah? Ma name's Applejack by the way."
Anthony couldn't believe his eyes or ears, especially because they weren't even his. "I'm so confused... what the hell's going on here, and where am I, and why are you talking?! You're a pony. Ponies can't talk! Wait! Is this a dream?" Anthony's flurry of questions and spastic remarks ended once he started to hyperventilate.
"Well look at you wise colt; you're uh pony too... well more like a pegasus. This ain't no dream neither. You're actually in Ponyville," snapped Applejack.
At that moment, Anthony's mind was blown as he comprehended his entire situation.''What? There's no way this is happening!" Enraged with confusion, Anthony banged on the tree he was leaning against, causing a dozen of apples to bombard his head. "Fuck, my head..." Anthony murmured as he collapsed.
~~~~~
Waking up for a second time, Anthony found himself in a barn. He was resting on a bed of hay with a soothing ice pack planted on top of his head. "Oh, my head," Anthony groaned.
"Oh, yer awake!" Applejack exclaimed from beside the bed. "Feelin' any better?"
Realizing that none of this was a dream, Anthony calmly asked, ''Do you have a mirror I could look at?"
"Sure,'' replied Applejack. She promptly bought a mirror over to Anthony and he couldn't belive his reflection.
"I-is that me?'' Anthony questioned timidly.
"'Course that's you. How could ya not recognize yer own reflection?" Applejack assured.
Anthony gazed into the mirror, and spied a pegasus with a coal black mane, brilliant brown fur and a glorious pair of wings. That was him. "Whoa!'' Anthony fell out of the bed and toppeled onto the floor.
"Are you ok?!" Applejack asked, surprised by Anthony's reaction.
"Yeah, I'm fine," said Anthony massaging his joints as he rose.
"I never got yer name," Applejack mentioned.
"Oh right. My name's Anthony Padilla."
"Anthony Padilla? Is that some type of bread or something?" Applejack giggled while Anthony only smirked at her remark. "No offense, but that's jus' a pretty unusual name fer somepony to have. Does it have somethan' ta do with yer family or cutie mark or somethan'?" Applejack questioned.
"Cutie mark? What's that?"
Thrown back by Anthony's complete ignorance of pony anatomy, Applejack explained, "Ya know, a cutie mark? It's what appears on everypony's flank when they find thier true talent. Don't ya have one?"
Anthony looked at his hip, only to find patches of brown fur. Anthony shook his head.
"Oh ma..." Applejack whispered.
"What? Why's it so bad that I don't have one?" Anthony asked.
"Well," Applejack began."Everypony experinces a time in their life when they find thier true potential, and they get a cutie mark showing that potential. Surely ya should have one, but fer some odd reason ya don't."
As Applejack concluded her explanation, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle skipped into the barn. "Howdy big sis! Whose yer friend there?" Apple Bloom asked giddily.
"This is Anthony," Applejack introduced, gesturing to him with a hoof. "Ah found him in disoriented in the apple orchard, so Ah brought him back here to rest fer a spell."
"Well its mighty fine meetin' ya Mr.Anthony! Ah'm Apple Bloom!" The schoolfilly pointed a hoof at her friends, and added, "That's Scootaloo, and that's Sweetie Belle, and together we are..."
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders!" all three of the fillies hollered at the same time.
"Uh... well it's very nice to meet you guys," greeted Anthony. "But What are the cutie mark crusaders? Do you not like the Pope or something?" Anthony asked.
The three children didn't know what Anthony meant by "Pope", but they brushed it off. "Because we are the only three ponies left in our class that haven't got our cutie marks yet, we have joined forces to try as many things as we can until we each earn our cutie marks. As you can see, we haven't succeeded yet." Apple Bloom pouted. Apple Bloom noticed the absence on Anthony's flank and asked, "Hey sis, why doesn't Anthony have his cutie mark? Shouldn't he have one by now?"
"Ah know. That's what Ah'm tryin' to figure out. Maybe Twilight can help us." Extending a hoof out to assist Anthony with getting off the bed, Applejack said, "Come on Anthony. We're gonna solve the mystery of your missin' cutie mark!''
They cantered out the barn door, racing towards the Ponyville library. Anthony didn't worry as much about his cutie mark as much as the other ponies did, for his missing friend still lingered in his mind.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, in a bright, serene meadow right outside of Ponyville, Ian just laid unconscious for a few minutes before coming to. "Oh... my head'' Ian mumbled painfully. The first thing Ian caught sight of was a bunny that was looming over him. Grinning at the adorably fluffy white hare, Ian questioned, "Are you lost little bunny?"
Just then, a pegasus landed a couple feet away from Ian. "Angel, there you are. Please, don't ever wonder off again!" the meek pegasus softly asserted.
"Whoa you can talk?!" Ian energetically exclaimed.
The light-yellow mare stepped back slightly, startled by Ian's outburst. "Uh... y-yes. Everypony can talk. You must have hit your head pretty hard. Here, let me carry you on my back," the pegasus sweetly offered.
A free pegasus ride! Ian thought. There's no way I'm passing this up!
Fluttershy grunted Ian wrapped his hooves around her body. Slowly, Fluttershy ascended off the grassy floor.
"Thanks by the way," Ian said as he peered down at the colorfully cartoon scenery. "What's your name anyway talking pony lady?"
Fluttershy giggled quietly at Ian's almost childish word choice. "My name is Fluttershy."
Well no wonder...
"I'm Ian."
"Are you from outside Equestria, like Japen?" Fluttershy questioned. "I've never heard of a unicorn with such a strange name before."
After hearing Fluttershy's comment, Ian reached up to his head. The horn horn on his forehead confirmed what Fluttershy had said."I"m a unicorn! Fuck yeah!!!!" Ian's cheering spooked Fluttershy, causing her to drop Ian. "Ouch, my back!" cried Ian as he writhed on a sea of foliage.
"O-oh, I'm so sorry!" Fluttershy apologized, swooping to the ground to pick Ian back up.
"It's fine." Ian said as he stood up to hop back on Fluttershy."I've been through worse during Food Battles." Leaving Fluttershy clueless as to what a "Food Battle" was, Ian questioned. "So where are we going anyway, Fluttershy?"
"We are going to Ponyville," replied Fluttershy. "I need to get you looked at properly." Making sure he was on safely this time, the two resumed their flight into town.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Anthony and Applejack had embarked for Ponyville. The two ambled along the dirt trail into the town. Even though Anthony was surrounded by this surreal world of fiction, he still found it had to concentrate. All the details were still hazy. Where in the world was he? Was Ian alright? Anthony sighed.
"What's wrong, sugarcube?" Applejack asked concerned.
"Oh, it's nothing really," Anthony murmured. "It's just that... I'm worried about my friend, Ian. I don't know where he is, and I just hope he's alright." Anthony slumped down depressed.
Applejack thought quickly, wanting to console her new friend. "Ah'm sure he's fine. No need to worry! We folks here in Ponyville watch over each other! We're like family!" Anthony perked up slightly from Applejack's friendly words. "So where ya from, Anthony?"
"Um... California," Anthony replied, a bit hesitant due to the peculiar world he was in now.
"California?" Applejack questioned, not recognizing the foreign location. "Oh! you must mean Coltifornia! You have such a stong accent ah couldn't understand ya!" exclaimed Applejack.
"Uh... no I said California with a Cali not a Colt!" said Anthony, correcting the misinterpretation.
"Huh... Well Ah'v never heard of this Coli-forn-ya! Where is it exactly?" asked the farmer pony.
"It's on the far west coast," Anthony informed.
"Still doesn't ring any bells, but then again Ah haven't looked at a globe in awhile," Applejack chuckled.
Anthony had realized by now that this world was obviously not the same as his original one. He decided from now on to try to leave any information about his world to himself in case that this was like a science fiction movie. He wouldn't want to somehow destroy the universe because of his big mouth; the new Justin Bieber album was being released in a few days!
"So what's Cal-I-fer-na like?"
"Well around this time of year, boiling! But the neighborhoods are nice and the beaches are great!"
"Well that's mighty interestin'," she said as they approached the Ponyville Bizarre. As they entered the bustling center, Applejack halted to greet a buff, sanguine stallion that stood behind a little apple stand.
"How's the stand comin' along, Big Mac?" Applejack asked, familiarity coursing through her voice.
"Not too shabby." replied the colt.
"Anthony, this here's Big Macintosh. He's mah big brother," exclaimed AppleJack.
"O-oh u-um it's nice to meet you Big Macintosh," Anthony stammered out. He extended a shaking hoof, intimidated by Big Mac's stature.
Upon reaching out for a handshake, Anthony thought, Wait! How the hell do ponies shake hands... or hooves!?
Big Mac nodded his head and somehow grabbed Anthony's hoof, giving him a firm, tough hoofshake. "Eeyup. Like wise. And y'all can jus' call me Big Mac," added the farmer stallion.
"Well, we best be headin' off, Anthony. See ya later Big Mac, we got somethan' ta do." The two cantered deeper into Ponyville, set out for the library.
Anthony's wasn't sure what he would have to do to get back to his world, but he knew he would do anything to do so. The second I find Ian, we're taking a one-way ticket out of here. This is just getting out of hand... or out of hoof! Anthony thought, suddenly guffawing in the streets at his own pun. That's too funny!
~~~~~
"A-again... I-I'm really sorry for dropping you," aplogized Fluttershy with her Angel resting on her back.
"For the sixteenth time, it's fine!" Ian grunted, reassuring the guilt ridden pegasus. The couple decided to walk to Ponyville once Fluttershy got exhausted from carrying Ian's weight. If only Ian had gone on the Jenny Craig diet like Anthony had told him too.
Ian had already explained to Fluttershy all about where he came from, his friends, Smosh, and anything else he could think of, only leaving out the part of him being from another dimension. It's good that this wasn't a science fiction movie, and just a cartoon!
"So tell me again, what's this town called again?" asked Ian.
"Ponyville."
"That's what I don't understand! Why is it called Ponyville?"
"W-what do you mean?" Fluttershy inquired, flustered by Ian's outburst.
"I mean, why is it named Ponyville? Couldn't it just be named something normal?"
"Well, I thought that Ponyville was a normal name," Fluttershy said softly.
"It's not though. What are some of the other town's around here called?"
"Let's see... There's Canterlot, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus, Manehatten---"
Fluttershy's list was interrupted by Ian's emphatic laughter. Catching his breathe, Ian huffed, "Those names are all ridiculous!"
"Well I think they're better than California..." Fluttershy lightly asserted.
Noticing Fluttershy becoming slightly saddened, Ian said, "Whatever. I guess it just depends on where we come from. So how is it here in Ponyville anyway?"
"O-oh, it's really fun living here! I have such great friends and I take extra special care of all the my little animal friends!"
"Cool, I love animals! I have a Guinea pig named Charlie. He's the drunkest, funnest most deadest pet ever! What pets do you have?" asked Ian.
"Well I don't have too many. There's Angel, my favorite little bunny," Fluttershy said happily, glancing at her back to see said bunny. "I also have, forty-seven squirrels, sixty-eight birds, thirty-two ducks, six-teen ducklings, twenty-one weasels, eighty-four mice, thirty-five other bunnies, fifty butterflies, twenty-nine moles, twelve bears, and one chameleon!"
"Holy guacamole, that's a lot of animals! How the heck do you keep track of all of them!?"
"It's really not that hard. I just really love caring and nurturing them. That's what my cutie mark is for," Fluttershy proudly said, showing off her flank as she did so.
"Right you told me about that," Ian replied, remembering the pegasus mentioning that earlier in their walk. "So do you think I would be able to ride one of those bears sometime?" Ian enthusiastically asked.
"I don't think one of them would mind doing that."
"Sweet!"
Ian actually kind of liked this world. Even though he had no clue how he got there, Ian still was overjoyed by the fresh landscape and the fact that he was a unicorn! He couldn't do any magic, but he was still excited beyond belief. This world is so awesome! I wonder if Anthony is a unicorn too? Ian pondered. Maybe he's a pegasus like Fluttershy! Or maybe some weird cross of both... What if he's a dragon!? What if he's a dragon with a unicorn horn and pegasus wings!? Ian just couldn't wait to see Anthony again.
As the two continued along their trail, the internet celebrity and Fluttershy passed by an erie looking forest.
"Whoa..." Ian said amazed by the interesting landscape of the ominus forest."What's that forest called! It looks so awesome!"
Fluttershy squealed in fear. "T-thats the Everfree f-forest! Don't ever ever ever go in there!"
"Why?" asked Ian confused.
"B-becuase there are scary monsters in there!" Fluttershy replied emphatically.
"Like what?" Ian asked kind of intrigued
What the hell kind of creatures live here beside cuddling talking fluffy ponies? Ian thought to himself.
"Big, scary hydras, and they all have big, scary teeth, with even tinier big, scary teeth!"
Ian assumed that the mare was just overreacting. "So why are we even near the forest then?"
"Oh, that's where I live."
Ian decided to quit questioning her logic. "Why are we here at your house? Shouldn't we be heading to the town you were talking about? Ponyville was it?" Ian Questioned.
"Yes, but I need to get some books for my friend,Twilight first," Fluttershy replied in her soft voice.
"Oh. Okay." Ian said, waiting patiently.
"Alright. I'm ready to go," Fluttershy said as she carried a saddlebag full of books.
Will Ian and Anthony ever be reunited? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!
