Twilight and Luna Kill Celestia

Alright folks, I'm back and seriously regretting having an argument with the pink menace. Here, have a story!

The Foal woke around noon the next day, still blind from bandages and in a full body cast.

"Ugh... This is getting old already"

"Well, that's what you get for waking me up."

"Ahh, my dear Twilight, it is a pleasure to hear your soothingly insane voice once again."

She sighed. "Alright, look sorry about the whole 'nearly killing you in a horrible, bloody manner' thing. Can we call it even?"

"Even? No. You owe me one, and a big one at that."

"Okay, what do you want?"

"I'm going to need a place to stay after I'm out of this hospital."

"Ah'd happily keep an eye on yah, but you'd have to work a good bit to earn your supper plate at the end of the day."

The Foal's eyes twitched behind the blinding bandages. "Nnnope!"

"Why wouldn't you want to stay at mah place? It's a nice cozy little barn, and besides I already saved your life once. You can trust me."

"I can't trust some mare I've never met, I'm just a little foal! I can't do manual labor! " It was AppleJack's turn for eye twitches. "Besides, as far as I know, you could be some freak who just gets off by hurting colts! I NEED AN ADULT!!"

"Ah refuse to let you go without me keepin' an eye on yah. Ah didn't save your life for nothing, yah hear? Ah gotta make sure you recover right!"

"If by 'savin mah life'" He impersonated her accent with an eerie accuracy. "than you mean giving me a slow, agonizing physical recovery as apposed to a quick, messy, merciful end; You suck."

"Why you ungrateful little varmit! I ought ta-" I am going to not list the stream of hate filled profanity that flowed from the farmer pony's mouth, and instead, I will continue with the story that was happening in the meanwhile.

Twilight grabbed the orange mare with her magic, and teleported her back to the farm. "Ah, well... That could have gone much better." she muttered under her breath.

"We agree, Twilight." Luna said.

"Perhaps we should simply find a house with an extra room, and ask nicely to house the foal?"

"We do not wish to impose upon our subjects though."

"True, that would be rude, and would not be a wise thing for a newly crowned princess to use as one of her first actual acts."

"Perhaps he could stay in your old library?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I AM NOT LETTING THAT FOAL ANYWHERE NEAR MY PRECIOUS BOOKS!"

Everypony's ears were ringing... Luna spoke next "Twilight, you have learned the Royal Canterlot Voice with surprising ease. Perhaps-"

The foal grumbled "Do I get no say in my lodgings?"

They both looked to him, Luna with curiosity, but Twilight was shooting daggers with her eyes.

"I can easily find a place to stay, and you can simply hold onto that favor you owe for later. Perhaps something in a more sensual manner?"

And then all FOUR of the Foal's legs were broken, as opposed to the three that were broken when he first woke up.

After waking back up, several hours later, he found he had no idea what time it was.

"Hey, anypony there? Hellooooooo can't see through my bandages, can't read any clocks, wondering what time it is... Hellooooo..."

The foal was unaware entirely that he was sharing a hospital room with other ponies.

"SHUT THE HAY UP ! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" A brash, female voice to his right sounded.

"Then I assume it is night time? Could you be more specific?"

"It's about 4am, now shut your face hole before the doctors need to get you more bandages!"

Yeesh, somepony woke up on the wrong side of the hospital bed.

"This is the LAST TIME I break a wing, I swear it...."

"A pegasus eh? That'd be the life. Simply flying everywhere you need to be, not needing to risk botching a spell and killing everypony in a 30 meter radius."

"Is that what ended you up in here?"

"Nnnope! I pissed of Princess Twilight, she kind of used a train as a running start, and threw me at a train station. Somepony with a ridiculous accent decided to 'save' my life by bucking a BRICK into my face at nearly the speed I was flying, making me veer off to the side and survive the impact with various less-solid objects. Long story short, that mare needs a new sense of humor."

"That sounds like Twilight, all work no play. I've played so many pranks on her over the years, only to end up getting nearly blasted in the face by 'accident' or 'pure reflex'. It's a load of horseapples if you ask me, that mare just can't take a joke."

"I can't agree with you more on that one. How do you know her?"

"Psh, I'm only one of THE bearers of the elements of harmony. And I am also THE fastest flyer in all of equestria, record breaker in the Wonderbolt's academy, Rainbow Dash! I trust you've heard of me?" Rainbow looked smug, but the Foal was just rolling his remaining good eye.

"The only hearing I've done about you was hearing that you were rather arrogant. No offence, but I kind of agree." He heard a gasp coming from Rainbow.

"Who said that about me? Do I have to kick some flank?!" The Foal was chuckling quietly.

"None other than Princess Happy Pants her self, Twilight Sparkle."

"WHAT? I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING OF THE SORT!" Twilight's voice was coming from the corner of the room, she was apparently just staying quiet while watching the discussion.

"Ohhh you are here. Oops." That was a legitimate oops.

"Your dang right oops, little liar. You are so making me want to spill the beans on the thing with Prince Blue blood's garbage disposal."

"I'll behave..."

"Good, now hush and let the grown ups talk." Twilight said with a smirk.

I'm more than eventen times as old as her... stupid purple idiot.

Eyyyup.

Luna, what did I say about getting out of my head?

Seriously, what do you think I do all night?

Just go bother somepony else.

Somewhere along the lines of the internal dialogue, am external dialogue occurred, and both Rainbow and Twilight were laughing uncontrollably.

"Did I miss something?"

"Wait, you didn't hear any of that? Did I mess your ears up too?" Twilight asked.

"No, just letting my imagination run a bit too wild, it got rather incredulously annoying so I stopped." The laughing stopped.

"Gee, this guy just sucks the humor out of everything, doesn't he Twilight?"

"Yes, Yes he does." Twilight looked back to the foal. "We were discussing your upcoming living conditions, physical therapy and whatnot. Taxpayer money is going into keeping you from making the whole 'me nearly killing you' thing under the rug. As far as anypony is concerned, you tried to teleport to another train car and messed up. I would very much appreciate you not mentioning that to the press."

And with that, she gives me ANOTHER tool to use. She just doesn't get it...

"Hey Twilight, want to learn a new spell?" Her eyes had a sudden spark and she forgot what she was talking about. A note pad and an ink bottle and a quill each appeared at her side. "It's a real zinger, one that is frowned upon by most modern teachings. Most ponies long since forgot it even exists!"

She darted to his side immediately, "What does it do? How long do you think it will take to explain? Does it have a duration, or is the effect more sudden? What does it look like? How often can I use it? Can I-"

"Twilight! Twilight, calm down, come here and let me tell you up close. I'm feeling a little weak, lean close."  She obliged, lowering her ear next to his mouth.

His horn glowed gently as he moved his horn to touch hers tip to tip. "Got ya."  Her eyes went wide as she realized what he was doing. He forcibly used her magic reserves to cast a spell of his own, ripping it right out of her and into the air around his horn. The glow was enough to to ignite the bandages on his horn, as his own spell began to work his away around his mangled body.

"OHHH YEAHHH! THAT IS THE STUFF! SCREW MORPHINE BABY!" The magic was focusing around his major injuries first. Tendrils of magenta and blue seeped into the base of his spine, powdered itself around his ribs, encased his limbs, eventually just covered him in the multi-hue glow.

Seconds crawled past like hours, as the searing light filled the room. After a few minutes, the light flowed back into the single point of contact between horns that it started at. And then there was an explosion.

AppleJack finally making her way back to Ponyville General. She had finally calmed down and come up with a way to rightly apologize to that Foal. After a while, she found herself in front of his room and pacing back and forth. She really was starting to feel as though she had wronged the Foal. He would be crippled for life after all, and with a nearly broken horn no less! What unicorn can live with a broken horn? Let alone only one working hoof!

She paced for a time when shouting was heard from inside, she assumed it was The Foal getting emotional over the extent of his injuries. She rubbed her hoof on her chin for a bit in contemplation, trying to decide on what words to use. But then there was the explosion.

The door splintered out from the shock wave,  and would have shredded Apple Jack, had she been just a few paces leftwards. The window in the room was reduced to powder, and spread in a cone shape into the grass outside.

The Foal began laughing, a maniacal, twisted laugh. His horn sparked, and his bandages burned away in a blue flame immediately. His remaining eye widened to an almost unrealistic proportion as the other began appearing in the socket, seemingly comprised out of raw magic . "The power... more... MORE!"

Foal, what are you doing?! Stop draining Twilight! You could kill her!

Luna! Thank the stars, tell Twilight to get my scarf around my neck, and fast! I can't do a thing to stop myself until somepony does.

This is no time for warmth you Foal, Twilight's about to die!

JUST TELL SOMEPONY TO GET THAT SCARF ON! NOW!

Somewhere far off, Luna cringed, clutching her hooves to her head to dull his mental roar. She decided to pass that message along to the near by AppleJack and Rainbow Dash. As soon as they both understood what to do, they galloped to the corner of the room where The Foal's saddlebags lay.

Not but a second before they reached it, they were interrupted by a rather immense blast of energy to the floor between them and the bags. "I don't think so, little ponies. Stay away from that scarf if you want a quick death! Trying to get it will only result in your... prolonged suffering." The Foal had begun to levitate slightly off the floor, eye(s) glowing with the color of Twilight's magic.

The two mares froze in place, and looked one another in the eye, sharing an understanding glance that spoke volumes in itself. AppleJack charged for the Foal, tackling him right out of the air and knocking the breath out of him, severing the link between his and Twilight's horns. She started pounding her hooves into his injuries, hitting him hard enough and often enough to keep him from focusing any magic at all. She re-broke ribs, she re-opened his cuts, she re-gouged out his eye, she slammed him into the wall with her hooves around his neck with enough force for him to stay there. She turned around and let loose the hardest buck she could, and aimed it right into his crotch.

Rainbow Dash had just found his bags as she heard an all too familiar crunch after the buck. This was followed by a rather disturbing scream. Partly disturbing due to the fact that he just had his genitalia reduced to goo, Partly disturbing due to the fact that he sounded like he wanted to bathe in the blood of a thousand infants.

Dash dashed over to him and quickly did her best to help, only to get blasted back by another shock wave. He fell to the ground, horn still glowing. More tendrils and light radiated out from his horn.and regenerated his 'new' injuries. "Not bad, farmer mare, not bad." He sounded calmer...

"BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" There was an audible change in his voice, as if it was backed by more than just him, almost as if a more demonic voice was saying the same words, at the same time.

AppleJack just looks to her friend. "Ah'm gonna be honest here... We more bucked than one of my apple trees."

Rainbow Dash just looked at her and deadpanned. "Eyyyup."