The Tale of The Stone-turner

I awoke with a yawn, stretching out and feeling my spine pop in several places. In the moderate dark of the basement, for some odd reason night just didn't seem as dark as it once had, I shuffled to my clothing pile and silently put them on. I wonder where I could get acid early in the day, hell I wonder where I could get acid in Ponyville. I made my way up the stairs to the above ground world and stopped at the door to place my ear against it before opening. No clops. If what I think I heard is what I think it was I wish to never ever ever EVER walk in on it. With a groan I opened the door and stepped into the library proper. Letting loose a grand yawn I moved mechanically into the bathroom and performed the morning ritual of relieving oneself. After washing my hands and splashing some of the water onto my face, to help with the waking process, I moved back towards the main room and stopped.

That smells familiar... Is it... Cinnamon? Carefully I followed my nose out of the main room and into a small kitchen. The kitchen was functional to say the least. It had a small table with some of those stools the ponies use, a sink, cupboards, a window, an icebox, and a small stove with a purple unicorn in front of it. Cooking what I assumed to be cinnamon oatmeal if my nose was functioning properly. Shaking off the last of my sleep I announced my presence.

“G'morning Twilight.” She looked back at me.

“Oh, good morning Stone. Sleep well?” I suppressed a shudder.

“Relatively.” I was feeling very awkward right now. “So, where's Spike at?”

“He went out to start on some preventative damage control. So I figured we could eat breakfast together and get to know each other a little better.” I already know too much. “I was actually about to go and wake you up.” Note to self: sleep in pants from now on.

I sat down on one of the little stools as Twilight filled two bowls with the delicious smelling food and levitated them over to the table before sitting opposite me, leaving the cupboard filled with clean bowls open slightly.

“So. What shall we talk about.” Well, this breakfast is going to be uncomfortable all I can think of is- My brain had a just interrupted itself with a brilliant thought. Why should this be uncomfortable for me when I could easily make it uncomfortable for her instead... I could feel my grin awaken from its own slumber. After pouring a fair amount of food straight from the bowl into my mouth I answered.

“How about we speak of things we enjoy doing?” She lowered her head to her own food and ate some before replying.

“That sounds perfect. I enjoy reading, what about you Stone?” I dumped the rest of my food straight down my throat before standing and walking my bowl to the sink behind Twilight.

“I also enjoy reading, but I don't believe I enjoy it quite as much as you do.”

“Oh?” Twilight spoke between small mouthfuls of her own food. “What makes you think that?” I carefully rinsed off my dirtied bowl before setting it in the sink.

“I just get the impression that you may enjoy your reading a little too much...” I pulled two clean bowls from the cupboard and, holding one in each hand with the openings upwards, tested their weight.

“How could you possibly enjoy reading too much?” Oh Twilight, wrong question.

“I think book number six would know.”

“Book number six?” She was genuinely confused. “What do you mea- *Clop*

I brought the bowls together and continued to do so as I spoke.

“Stallions *clop* and *clop* Saddles *clop* book *clop* six.” *clop*... *clop*.... *clop*

Very slowly Twilight turned to face me as realization spread across her face, followed quickly by horror.

“Y-y-you s-saw me....” Her ears pressed flat against her head.

“Oh, nonono. I heard you.” She looked so cute, oatmeal all around her muzzle, chin quivering, tears form- TEARS!? Ohshitohshitohshit I took it too far! “Now, Twilight just calm down, it's not tha-

She ran right out of the room... With a sigh I took off after her just in time to catch sight of her tail end getting off the top of the stairs in the main room. I quickly climbed the stairs and scanned the area for Twilight. It was clearly a bedroom, it had a dresser, a basket full of bedding, and a small bed complete with a unicorn sobbing into a pillow. I walked to the bed and got on my knees next to it.

“Twilight.... Twilight look at me.” The unicorn slowly lifted her head from the pillow and faced me, oh that face makes me feel like such a fuck-head. “Twilight, just calm down, it's not that a huge a deal.”

“It's completely a huge deal! You know I was... was... was...” She buried her face right back into the pillow and muffled the rest. “Oh, I'm just disgusting.”

“Twilight, you are NOT disgusting. It's perfectly natural that every now and again everyo- everypony needs a little release. I myself have been known to toot my own horn from time to time.”

“GAK!” Oh good, now she's gagging on her pillow instead of crying into it, progress. With a little apprehension I placed one hand on her back and rubbed lightly.

“Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing to.... 'clop' every so often, just don't do it too much or you'll get shaggy fetlocks.” She looked back up at me, her crying done and a small smirk on her face. I rose back up to my feet and patted off my legs. “I'll leave you alone now so you can... come to terms with this.” I made my way back to the stairs and down them, I could have sworn I heard Twilight whisper something, but I was unable to make it out. Oh well. I sang in my mind as I left the library, Stephen Lynch seemed appropriate, 'well it seems last night I caught Twi spankin' it.....'

Strolling thru town with my hood up I noticed a lot less panic and more ponies on the street. Either the new look really did help calm the ponies or a day without any sort of casualties helped prove I wasn't here to harm them or some combination of the two. Grinning lightly, there was no reason to bother big n stupid so I accepted a stand-in, I walked into what seemed to be a park. There was a simple fountain and some benches, but aside from those it was mostly just a grassy field with some dips and rises, a tree or two breaking up the monotony every now and again.

I was about to just pass by the park without a second thought when something caught my attention. Facing away from me was a teal unicorn with a slightly lighter mane and tail sitting on a bench, now as of lately this wouldn't seem out of place to me in the least except every pony I had seen sitting wasn't truly sitting. Normally they would lay down if enough room was given or just rest their rears while keeping all fours in front of them, but this one was sitting rump on the bench back straight against it. It disturbed me for some reason so I decided to head in that direction, my cloak flapping slightly as I now strode with purpose.

As I approached the bench I decided to take the least subtle approach I possibly could, so without slowing I grabbed the back of the bench and threw myself over it, crossing a leg and keeping an arm on the back of it as I sat. The unicorn quickly turned to face me with wide eyes and an open mouth, I grinned.

“Hello.” The unicorn let out a shriek of terror and darted off. Smooth as a gravel road.

After a shrug I remained on the bench and determined it was a good time to take a break from aimless wandering. About an hour of relaxing later I was getting ready to rise when a leaf drifted lazily onto my lap. Smirking I picked up the leaf by it stem and twirled it between my fingers, it was just a green little everyday tree leaf, nothing special about, no hidden agenda, just a leaf that got caught in the wind. I traced the veins that ran out from the stem with my eyes, focusing on each little fork or turn in them. As I examined the leaf and took in its details I noticed the world was beginning to take on a reddish tint, I quickly shook my head and dropped the leaf. Looking around, everything seemed normal and fine, my vision wasn't tinted and no ponies has changed. Thinking I imagined it I picked the leaf back up and frowned. The edges of it had changed into a dark gray, cautiously touching them I found that they had turned to stone. Focusing on the thought of the leaf I tried to complete the process but only got a headache for my efforts. With a bit of disgust I threw the leaf away from me.

“Look it's Stone!” A high squeaky voice declared.

I turned my head to see who had recognized me and saw three little fillies running towards me. Two I had seen before, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, but the third I had not met. The unknown filly was an orange pegasus with a pinkish mane and tail who seemed noticeably more worried than the others about running up to me. Smiling warmly I settled back on the bench.

“Why hello there, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, who's your friend?” The orange one moved forward a bit, clearly trying to not show any fear in front of her friends, cute.

“My name's Scootaloo...” I grinned and Scootaloo backed a way a little.

“Don't worry, I don't bite. Though I wish I could say the same for everypony.” I looked towards Applebloom with a small smirk.

“Ah said I was sorreh!”

“I know, I'm just teasing.”

“You bit Stone?!” There's that voice crack.

“What did he taste like?” Why would you even be interested in that Scootaloo?

“A bit salty actually.” Salty? I licked my arm curiously, yea that is kinda salty...

“Well, now that we have solved the mystery of what I taste like. Might I ask what you little ones are up to exactly?”

“We ain't up ta nuthin, we were just crusadin is all.”

“Crusading?”

“Yea, we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” I swear I needed a lozenge just hearing those cracks.

“We're trying to figure out our special tahlents.”

“And earn our cutie marks!”

Hm, cutie marks... I read about those early on, mostly they just got a passing mention as a part of everyday life but one book on magical theories did have a bit to say on them. The book described cutie marks as an image or symbol that would appear on a ponies flank when they discovered not what they were best at, but what truly resonated within their soul as something they could dedicate their existence to. The idea of it scared me, not only was it an identification of your meaning but it was commonly found at a young age, I don't like that kind of absolution. The only other information of worth on the subject was that very rarely cutie marks had changed, but they were in cases of extreme trauma and the pony in question was not the same after it. I shuddered internally at the thought, then smiled back down at the fillies.

“Well, you all have fun with that. And don't hurt yourselves.” The fillies nodded and scampered off.

“See you later Stone!”

“Yea, and ahm sorry again for the other day!”

“Nice meeting you Mr. Stone!”

I chuckled lightly as I stood from the bench and stretched out. Time to roam. I didn't have to walk for long before I found something else to intrigue me. It was a gingerbread house an actual building seemingly made from gingerbread and frosting. It had pink frosted windows, a gingerbread roof with frosting along the edges, and a giant cupcake sitting at it's top. Examining the signs around it, it seemed to be a bakery. I had to go see the inside, there's no way around that, my curiosity demanded I see the inner workings.

Opening the door, I ducked inside as a small bell dinged, there didn't seem to be anypony around. Looking around, the place seemed just like a normal bakery inside, oh well, fancy look on the outside was more than enough. As I was just about to turn around a great blob of pink shot thru a pair of swinging doors and collided into me, knocking me flat on my ass.

“Hello Pinkie, I see you found a way to determine which of my ribs are weakest.”

“Hiya Stoney! Whatcha doin here?” I couldn't help but chuckle slightly, incredibly glad that ponies were light.

“Oh you know, just being sat on by a pink pony. How about you?”

“I work here silly.” I blinked.

“I didn't know that. What do you do exactly?”

“I bake things! And I cater and throw parties!” She bounced on my chest lightly.

“I see.” I carefully hooked my hands under her fore arms and lifted her off me before setting her to the side and standing. They say that to this very day the sound of my spine popping can be heard echoing off the tallest mountains in the land. “Well I don't want to bother you if you're on the job.

“Don't you worry about that, we haven't gotten any orders in today, actually we didn't get any orders in yesterday either.”

“Well don't worry pink one, ponies probably just don't feel like having parties while a monster is on the loose.” So I should probably work harder on making the town less frightened of me, however I do that, just me being in town is bad for some businesses as things stand. “Hmm, Pinkie, you wouldn't know how we could speed up the process of getting the town stop being so scared of me, would you?”

“Actually, I think I know just how we could do that!” Pinkie then put on a grin that scared even me, so naturally I had to match it.