After my slip I hid my face behind my palm and wished for the ability to unsay that phrase. There have been many debates I've heard over the years regarding super powers and which ones would be best, but my personal vote would have to go to the ability to unsay stupid shit after you've already said it. It wouldn't do to have the ability to not say it in the first place, that would be the purpose of the 'shut up' filter already in my conscious, which worked perfectly fine for life on Earth. Funny thing about avoiding saying stupid things, is that you learn the skill only after you've said stupid things, or if you're lucky, by observing others saying stupid things, so that you can add those things to your own personal list of 'stupid things not to say'.

Needless to say, less than two days in a new world is not a sufficient amount of time for proper cultural observation that would allow safe compiling of such a list, nor is it enough time to meditate on the matter of linguistics to safely add to said list certain things which would file there by default; 'That paints this horse a different color', being an expression that loosely means that a deal being discussed has terms which have been altered, and would obviously imply that the deal could often include the purchase of a large equine. In my life I have said many stupid things before, often when drunk, but my previous record, a quip at my mother regarding the hips that I genetically received from her preventing my purchase of a smaller pant size, had been broken by an off-hand mention of what would equate to slavery, and in a room filled with magic users, almost all of whom had the authority to put me to severe punishment.

Luna was the first to speak, "'That paints this horse a different color' hmm?" I felt my blood run cold as she quoted me. "That would mean that Cadance wins the bet, sister."

'What?!? Bet? Do I hear giggling? Something isn't right here,' I thought as moved my hand and opened my eyes. I saw Celestia shooting Luna a rather annoyed sidelong glance as she floated a pouch from her robe over to Cadance, who wore a smug smile as she took it in her own magic. 'The fuck is going on here?'

Luna, for her part giggled in reply to Celestia's gaze. "You don't need to worry about upsetting anypony here, Hoyt, although this does bring a discussion I had wished to delay," Celestia said. "How to put this? You, are the first human to arrive in Equestria," she paused, "unarmed."

This bounced around my head for a moment as I though over her words, 'I'm the first? Wait, she specified unarmed, so she doesn't know about... Hold on, "the first unarmed"? That would mean-'

"You are not the first of your kind to come here, that is correct," Luna said.

"Okay... That definitely changes things, even more than um, well, all the magic and stuff. Now for me to explain a bit, but first might I ask; What type of weapons were brought here before?" I asked.

Celestia lit her horn, and an item rose from behind a near desk, while Luna used her deep blue magic on something behind me and soon, three things I never would have expected to see in person were floating before me; an ornate sword, quiver with arrows, and bow, all of obvious quality and age. "These are the weapons of your- predecessor," Celestia said. I stared awestruck at the armaments before me before Celestia spoke again, "You may inspect them, if you wish." I leaned forward and stared more closely, Celestia rolled her eyes and said, "I meant with your hands, not just your eyes, Hoyt."

"Ah, OK," I said, after a moment's hesitation. I grasped the scabbard of the sword very carefully, noting its lavish ornamentation. Having seen many ren-fair knock-offs of ornate swords of antiquity as well as a few museum displays of the actual things, their was now doubt, this was not cheaply manufactured in a modern sweat-shop. It was made with care, by a smith who obviously took great care in his work, and whose technology was rather limited. "I'm no historian, but I can tell finely crafted metal when I see it... This would have been a nobleman's sword, somewhere about a thousand years ago or more. Back when the vikings popularized their style of longsword," I said, pulling the blade a few inches out of the scabbard to reveal a beautifully crafted piece of early steel. The pommel and cross guard were both finely engraved with Celtic knotwork. "Irish unless I'm mistaken, and the gold filigree would most certainly imply a noble of high standing," I said, further appraising the sword, before dropping it back into its scabbard and offering it horizontally back to Celestia.

Celestia's magic wrapped around the sword, and brought it to rest gently on the cushion beside her as Twilight looked curiously between it and her. "So, what are your thoughts on the other weapon?"

"These I have significantly less experience with, the bow and arrows, as so very few examples survive from antiquity to modern times, and the historical record being sketchy at best," I said as I examined the bow and its accompanying quiver. The bow was not nearly as ornate, but very finely carved and had little bone caps with simple knotwork carvings on the ends. The quiver was very interesting, a leather tube with knotwork tooling around the ends, and containing twelve arrows with oak shafts and parabolic iron heads. "As I recall, around that time it was not at all common for a bow or quiver to get the kind of attention to detail that these have, as they were more often used simply for hunting rather than war," I said, offering the bow back to Luna.

"Those are very nice weapons, better than any of their kind I've ever seen, but they were rendered obsolete around four hundred years ago on Earth. Now, I noticed most of the guards here wielding spears, would that be representative of your current weapons technology?" I asked.

Shining Armor visibly tensed. "Now don't you forget about magic. We've got plenty of that too."

"In a room with four alicorns, two unicorns and a dragon, I'm quite sure he's aware of that, Shining," Luna said. "Now, to answer your question, we have had little reason to advance our armaments until quite recently. Are you saying that you are indeed armed?" she asked, I smiled weakly and nodded in reply. "Would you mind showing us your weapons?"

"Weapon, singular, and it could be referred to as the evolution of the bow bred with fireworks," I said. I opened my sporran, and pulled out my trusty pistol, first setting the spare magazine on my thigh, then removing and placing the loaded one next to it as several pairs of eyes fixed on me and progressively grew larger. Removing the gun from its holster, I set that back in the sporran, and tried to unchamber the current round. 'Oh, right, I set the frame lock yesterday for safety,' I thought, as I retrieved my folding pliers and used the small flathead to free the gun. Moving the slide back and catching the loose round, I pushed the slide lock in place and held the gun up. "This, is a modern semiautomatic pistol, allowing one user to shoot over a hundred rounds per minute with relative ease. This is the round it fires, a copper jacketed lead ball travelling at nearly two thousand feet per second when propelled by the explosive powder held within the cartridge. This is massively more advanced than its ancestors which outmoded the use of swords, bows and metal armor so long ago." Seven faces stared slack-jawed at me.

Several moments passed in silence after I set the gun on my left thigh before a soft bell rang from a clock on the wall. At that sound Celestia jerked to look at the offending timepiece. "Oh! The time, that's all..." Suddenly her eyes grew wide as she turned to address her sister, "Luna, it's time for our duties." When Luna didn't respond, her eyes narrowed. Celestia gently extended her left wing over Twilight's back and with a lightning fast flick slapped Luna on the butt with a loud SMACK!

At this point several things happened almost simultaneously; every female in the room, except Celestia, screamed, Spike and Shining both shouted. Then everyone but myself and Celestia jumped quickly from the noise; Luna was first, jumping to wrap herself around Shining's neck, Rarity jumped to do the same to Cadance, Celestia got her neck enwrapped by Twilight and Spike dove behind my chair.

A moment later Celestia burst into howling laughter, and I couldn't help but join her upon surveying the scene around me. After a minute or so everyone managed to return to their seats while the two of us calmed our laughter, and soon Celestia asked, "So, Hoyt, is that, safe?"

"As safe as the sword or bow, which is to say that it shouldn't be allowed in the hands of someone who doesn't know what it is or the danger of handling it improperly, or else they could accidentally hurt or kill themselves or someone else," I replied.

"Then would you mind keeping the 'rounds' separated for the time being?" Celestia requested, gesturing her hooves away from each other.

"I can agree to that, sure," I said with a nod.

"That will do fine I think. We will discuss this further tomorrow, for now we must set the sun and bring out the night," Celestia said, before turning to Twilight. "Fall begins tomorrow, care to treat our ponies and guests to a show?"

"Wait, what?" I asked, slightly taken off guard. 'Celestia explained about their manipulation of night and day, but Fall?' "Yesterday I was enjoying a gentle mid-Spring morning when I wound up here."

"Ah yes, I remember now. We will explain the temporal relation between our worlds over supper. But first we really must set the night before panic begins," said Luna as she walked out onto the balcony to join Twilight and Celestia.

Rarity approached as I put my gun back into the sporran unloaded. "So, how would our weather yesterday compare to what you left in Texas darling?" she asked, curiosity with a touch of what may have been worry in her tone.

"I didn't notice any difference, it was a comfy seventy-ish degrees back home, and Ponyville felt about the same. Canterlot seems a little cooler though..."

"You'd better hurry to the balcony, you don't want to miss the show. It is always so much prettier when Twilight joins in," said Cadance with a warm smile and a nod towards the large window the others had stepped out of.

With that I stood and motioned for the two mares to lead the way, and followed to find a magnificent view.

From the balcony I could see the sun to my far right hanging low in the sky, and the purple hues of the dusk to my left. Then all went silent but the powerful tone of Twilight's magic pulsing almost musically as various colors filled the sky in the most beautiful display of sunset I had yet seen in my life. And then Celestia's magic joined in, making a wonderful counter piece for Twilight as the sunset grew in intensity. Finally Luna joined in with her own magical flourish, bringing harmony to the sounds and stars to the sky.

As the princesses brought an end to the day, I found my eyes starting to water. So pleasant was their song, so beautiful was their sky. Of all the monuments and natural wonders I had seen on so many road trips as a boy in America, never had I seen a sight so moving, heard a sound more pleasing, as what I witnessed that evening. To literally see the night sky brought to be, it is among a list of things that language will not allow to be described in words.

"Wow," was all I could really say, being so awestruck by the wondrous sparkling display above. Cadance snickered, but I continued to stare into the sky, taking in the millions of stars in their beautiful glory. On a clear Texas night, it was never difficult to see so many stars that the sky seems full, but this, this sky had it beat in spades. Then something caught my eye, a set of stars that were particularly bright and arranged in a familiar pattern. My heart raced as I recognized a familiar constellation, a distinctly human constellation called Orion, or more specifically, Orion The Hunter. The thought occurred to search for a few other familiar patterns, 'Let's see, if Orion is there, and oriented that way, then that is north. Yep, there's Polaris, then Cancer would be... exactly where he's supposed to be. And look at that, there is Ursa Minor and a little bit of Major... But that much similarity would mean-' I was interrupted from my thoughts by a very unexpected question.

"Is this a religious dance of sorts?" I realized that I had been using my hands to measure the distance across the sky to locate the familiar stars and was currently pointing at Cancer with my right hand, while my left was held flat with the palm facing me and Ursa Minor at my wrist. My hands dropped as I turned to see Celestia eyeing me suspiciously.

"Ha, um, no. I was just noticing some constellations and their placements... Wait, religious?" It was my turn to look suspiciously at Celestia, then I remembered the conversation from minutes before. "So, what kind of religion do y'all have here?"

"I would like to know of your own religious views first before I answer that," Celestia retorted. Twilight was looking between us with great interest, while Luna looked on with a masked expression, and the rest seemed quite confused by the exchange.

I sighed, feeling some lesser hope dropping away. "I really prefer not to lead the answers given to questions like that. Honesty is paramount, and exposing my personal beliefs could easily taint that," I said, making a pointed effort to not cross my arms over my chest.

Celestia looked piercingly into my eyes for a long moment before giving a thoughtful nod. Turning to the rest of the balcony's occupants she said, "Might I ask to speak more privately with our guest? What I have to say I would prefer be kept to as few ears as possible." With that said, all but Luna nodded and moved to wait inside. "Twilight, I would like if you stayed. You may have need of the light this will shed." The young princess seemed quite curious as she stopped and looked back to her mentor before moving to again stand between Celestia and Luna.

"Hoyt, it is amazingly true what you say, honesty is indeed of utmost importance, for without it none can be trusted, and without trust their can be no harmony among people. But know that we will be telling you of part of our history, and history must be told accurately, lest you shame the memory. With that in mind, would you reconsider telling us first of your stance?" Luna said with a warm, gentle smile and reminiscence behind her green eyes that spoke of ageless wisdom.

"Alright, fair enough," I said with a sigh. Leaning against the railing, I began to explain, "Religion is kind of a touchy subject for me though. Mom always tried her best to make sure my brothers and I took to the religion that she was raised to embrace. But as I grew older and began to see more of the world for myself, I started to realize a great many problems with it-"

"I think I can see where this is going," said Celestia, silencing me with a hoof. "As I explained earlier, our worlds have a connection that shares cultural influence. So you would be an atheist then?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, that makes things easier, and more complicated to explain..." she said, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. "A thousand and seventy three years ago, ó Briain, came to this world, and brought with him the weapons you saw earlier, as well as his culture and religion."

What followed was the story of an Irishman who had come before and brought Christian ideals with him. Upon seeing Celestia, with her powerful presence, great white wings, flowing hair and control of the sun, he began to worship her as an embodiment of his own God. A practice which was quickly adopted by more than a few ponies, and led to more than a few conflicts over the following years. Eventually he died, and many of his followers built shrines in his memory. Five years after ó Briain's death, a war, known today as 'The War of the Heavens', which lasted five years itself, began. 'The Battle of the Goddesses', as it was known to those who took part, resulted in Luna, corrupted by a spirit called Nightmare Moon, being magically imprisoned in the moon itself, not to return for one thousand years. After five years of war, and almost seven decades of worship she hadn't asked for, Celestia set about patrolling the country, obliterating all of the shrines, and vigorously chastising all of the remaining followers of the false religion which had established itself, in an event that was known as 'The Day That Burned Brightest', bringing an end to one of Equestria's darkest ages, and to ó Briain's period of influence. For sake of clarity it was explained to me that four years ago, Twilight and her five best friends, used a set of artifacts, called The Elements of Harmony, to free Luna and banish the evil spirit.

"Now, I should say at this time, that some of ó Briain's influence yet remains. Though primarily in that all but the extremely young almost instinctively bow in the presence of an Alicorn, all of whom you've met. Another remnant would be the use of a princess' name as an exclamation, 'As Celestia is my witness' I think is the most common," Celestia said. Turning to Luna she asked, "I haven't bothered to read those reports of late, have you?"

"Two weeks past I gave them a glance, and found 'Twilight Sparkle' topping the Equestrian charts, with 'Luna help me' and 'Celestia damn it' tying for second place, while 'Mi Amore' tops the Imperial charts to the north," replied Luna. "Regrettable that, but if you include the coital exclamation charts myself and Cadance have a pretty tough race running it seems... Still not sure how to feel about that, I must admit," she added with confusion on her face.

"We have coital exclamation charts?" Celestia asked incredulously.

"Just from an annual survey done by Cosmarepolitan Magazine the month before last," Luna said with a shrug.

"Oh, that, I remember I used to own the top of that list. Well I guess it is time to defend my title in that regard," declared Celestia, patting her sides with her wings.

"You'll have to catch up to young Twilight first, dear sister, as she has you beat by no small margin," Luna said with a competitive gleam in her eye.

"What?!?" Twilight blurted, having been blushing as hard as is possible. "You mean there are mares calling-"

"This was a survey for stallions Twilight," interrupted Luna.

"Wait, you mean the stallions have stopped crying my name when they-" Celestia said, but was cut off.

"EW EW EW EW EWWW! LALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING!" Twilight cried while covering her ears and closing her eyes tight.

After Twilight calmed from being told her name had become a common exclamation for expressing coital bliss, (the other two princesses and myself taking our time about calming our laughter at her response) we made our way inside to rejoin Rarity, Spike, Cadance and Shining. And after Luna and Celestia finished their joking jabs at Shining for being caught trying out the human chair and looking quite odd for doing so, we all made our way to the royal dining hall.

Needless to say, the dining hall took yet another slot on the list of 'fanciest rooms I'd ever been in', and I was inclined to believe that the castle itself would easily lay claim to 'fanciest building'.

"So, Hoyt, what of your family back home?" Cadance asked as tea was yet again being served, with a cup full of ice next to my own serving of steaming brew.

Dropping a few pieces of the ice into the steaming cup and being satisfied to hear it crackle as it cooled the tasty liquid around it, I answered, "Well, there isn't really that much to say. I was the youngest of three boys, not many cousins, and my niece from my brother and his wife. Might I ask why you would be curious of that subject?'

"I believe she meant to inquire about the family that you built, Hoyt. Your own wife and children," Luna clarified.

"Well, the opportunity has yet to present itself for me to take a wife, much less make any children," I replied.

"You mean, you haven't, um, you haven't?" Cadance gestured her hooves together in a way that made Twilight and Rarity both blush.

"Do you mean the horizontal monster mash? The no pants mattress dance? The party at the pink clam? The waterbed waltz? I guess I am beating around the bush with all these euphemisms for sex," I said with a smirk.

"Sorry Hoyt, but that last pun is quite lost here," Celestia said. "The creatures of this world, as you have noticed, have full fur coats. Nice to see that creating new ways to say 'sex' without saying it is still a popular thing. Anyhow, what of your life back on Earth? Your accomplishments and titles?"

Suddenly I had a sense of deja vu, and a slightly less regal voice came to mind. 'Nah, she's almost twice the height...' "Well, 'accomplishments' would be a very short list, and 'titles' wouldn't even be a list. I have had a very standard life, got through school with minimal mishaps, got a job and just recently inherited enough money to buy a house. Two weeks ago I got moved in, was hoping to live there a bit longer before moving again... Guess that hope was in vain."

"No titles?" Luna asked, her own voice conjuring a similar sensation of deja vu.

'Now it's getting weird...' "Um, no, my country doesn't really have titles for individuals. Well, I guess there's job titles, but I think you're looking for a different sort entirely. Really my life back home is quite mundane," I said in response to Luna's further questioning.

Luna turned to Celestia and locked eyes with her, as they engaged in what must have been an in-depth conversation of sorts using that old language of siblings in a very refined form which left almost nothing for me to read off of.

After a short while dinner was served, and I was quite surprised at what I found upon my plate; a salad, topped with a generous slab of what appeared to be salmon. A cursory glance around the table revealed the same dish, salmon and all, sitting before Spike as well as, surprisingly, Luna and Rarity. "Twilight, might I ask what you were concerned about yesterday?" I asked, pointedly poking at the fish with a fork.

After looking between myself and and the fish on the plate, Twilight blushed. Celestia and Luna turned only their eyes to observe her sudden nervousness. "Well, I saw your um, teeth, and... Oh! We can get you something else if you don't like it," she said somewhat panicked as she started to float the plate away from me.

I quickly trapped the plate to the table with the fork and my left hand. "Let's not get hasty now, if fish is what's for dinner, I will certainly not turn it down. Especially if it is acceptable food here, as it would seem," I said, pointing at the other three plates featuring fish.

"But yesterday, you said you're a vegetarian, by choice," Twilight said, getting me curious looks from all at the table.

"Yeah, I did, pretty much, however I left out a few details, and chose my words carefully. I explained that I prefer to maintain a vegetarian diet, when finances allow; it isn't easy to have a healthy diet with a low income. What this means is that I often have to supplement with less expensive processed foods, that I doubt would have been a good idea to discuss at a public cafe, while surrounded by... ponies," I replied.

"And what would those foods be, exactly?" Twilight pressed.

"Hoyt, thank you for exercising discretion. Twilight, shall we brush this aside? His diet will not be a problem here, and you really don't want the answer to that, I assure you," Celestia said, looking almost pleadingly at the inquisitive purple mare.

Twilight looked humbled. "Alright, Celestia," she said.

Luna chirped, "Tis for the better, really. Last time it took Tia almost a fortnight to regain her appetite."

Celestia blushed, her eyes widening as her sister spoke. "Thank you for reminding me... Lulu," she said through her teeth.

Luna winced at the annoyance evident in Celestia's voice, and quickly covered her mouth. Cadance broke out giggling, and was soon joined by Twilight, Shining and Spike, though all of them tried to suppress it.

After a minute or so, the giggles had calmed, and so had Celestia. "So, I'm not really surprised to see Spike eating fish, but um..." I said, pointing at Rarity and Luna's plates.

"Ah, because it is beneficial for healthy feathers," Luna answered, momentarily extending a wing.

"I was told it was for a better coat," said Rarity.

Luna's ears perked, and she began looking very closely with narrowed eyes at Rarity's neck, and then Celestia's, and back. Celestia brought a hoof to her temple and said, "You are not seriously trying to compare my coat to Rarity's are you?"

"I think she may be right," Luna said with her nose very close to Celestia's neck.

"What?" Celestia exclaimed.

"Luna, you're both right, though the same benefits can be achieved by eating more nuts," Cadance said, rolling her eyes and using a wing to jab at Shining for snickering at the unintended double entendre. Spike and I went unpunished.

"I guess that would explain it then," I said, spearing a bite of fish.

"Explain what?" Celestia asked, sounding offended.

"The fish."

Cadance tittered. "Not that he would have noticed, Tia. He's been too busy looking at-" her eyes shot wide and she covered her mouth with both hooves.

Celestia grinned almost menacingly. "Looking at...?" she prompted.

"Not saying, you know my rules," Cadance said, stuffing her mouth full of salad.

Narrow eyes then locked onto me. "So, who exactly has captivated your gaze most?"

I locked my stare to the plate in front of me and said, "Ah yes, the infamous loaded question, I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole."

"Loaded question? Whatever do you mean?" I could hear Celestia's smirk.

"Celestia, could you stop making him uncomfortable? You know very well what he means," Luna said chidingly.

"It's alright, I can handle some teasing," I said, raising the fork to start eating.

Celestia squeed. "Tia, that is not an invitation," Luna warned, getting a disappointed groan in response.

"So what of the seasons? Hoyt expressed some concern about that earlier," Rarity said, having nearly finished her own meal while I spoke with the princesses. Needless to say the change of topic was also welcome.

I looked to Luna, but didn't speak as my mouth was full of fish.

Luna thought for a moment before saying, "Well, that is actually rather simple, as interactions between our worlds go anyhow. It is the result of our worlds being on opposite ends of the annual cycle, so our Fall and your Spring seasons start at about the same time."

"Huh, deceptively simple really, given the differences present in the same relationship," I said, pondering what I had seen thus far. Then a thought occurred to me, and I asked, "But I was noticing the stars, they seem to all be in their proper places... at least the ones I know well enough to point out. How is that possible?"

Twilight and Luna's expressions lit up with interest. "You like astronomy?" they asked excitedly, and in unison.

"Well, yeah, kinda," I said, nervousness tingling in my belly at the sight.

Cadance snickered, and suddenly the two pulled back to sit straight and stare at their plates, blushing as they did so. This brought giggles from the rest at the table, while Cadance smiled smugly at Celestia.

Celestia rolled her eyes and floated a stack of coins to Cadance. "What's with all the betting?" I asked.

Celestia tittered. "It is a custom that actually came from your world, even though it came so long ago," she said.

"By the way, here's your share," said Cadance, floating over a healthy looking stack of large coins. "It is customary here to give part of the winnings to the one the bet relies on when they are not aware of the wager," she continued as the large heft settled in my hand.

"Oh, that reminds me, I collected for you at last night's party," Twilight said, floating out a very large pile of smaller coins in assorted sizes and placing them in neat stacks next to my plate.

"Well I can't argue with tradition like that, now can I?" I said, taking one of the large coins and flipping it over in my hand. On one side it bore a sun inset with a moon, the other simply had the number fifty. Remembering seeing old western movies as a kid, I bit the edge of the coin, and was quite surprised to see it dented. "Your money is real gold?"

"Gold or silver, depending on the size and value of the coin. What about Earth? Your reaction would indicate that that has changed," Celestia said, looking rather curiously at me.

I dug around and pulled out my wallet for an example. "We have coins, mostly made of zinc plated with nickel or copper or something else, but only for amounts less than a dollar. For larger amounts we use paper money these days, and even worse, it has nothing to back it and make its value solid," I explained as I pulled out the little money I had, a twenty, a five and three ones. "Twenty eight bucks, hah, high rollin' over here..." I said, holding up the lint based paper for inspection. As the money floated away for scrutinization by the princesses, another thought popped to mind. "That twenty eight dollars could buy a decent, not great, lunch for two back home, not including a tip. What did yesterday's lunch cost, Twilight? So I can have a scale of reference."

"Hoyt, it's rude to ask how much a lady spends on a date," said Cadance with a wink.

Twilight's reaction was, in hindsight, hilarious; her eyes shot remarkably wide, her face almost glowed from blushing, and the twenty dollar bill that she'd been inspecting was torn in half. She froze like this, staring in shock at her pink sister-in-law.

"Um, that was not a date," I retorted to Cadance once I found my words through my own bit of stammering.

Cadance turned her smug grin to me. "Oh, it wasn't? Did you two have lunch together?"

"Yes, bu-"

"Did any flirting happen?"

"N- Yes, bu-"

"And we know she paid, so it was a date," she said, smiling victoriously.

"No, in fact it was not. A meal cannot be a date if siblings are at the table. Spike was there, thus negating the possibility of 'date' status for that lunch," I said, finishing the argument.

"Ooh, feisty, and knows how to flirt. He is going to be fun," Cadance said to Celestia with a devilish smile.

Before anything further could develop of that vein, Twilight finally caught up. "Oh no! I'm sorry! I-" Twilight had returned from her stupor and was now fidgeting over the ripped bill. "I didn't mean to- Let me see if I can fix it."

Twilight's horn lit astoundingly bright and there was a very loud POP! as she focused some tremendous amount of power into the paper. Most of my vision was obscured by the after-image, and my ears were ringing quite a lot, drowning out words I could hardly manage to notice for several seconds. When sight and sound returned, I saw that I was getting more than a few confused looks. "Are you alright, Hoyt?" Rarity asked.

Blinking my eyes and pulling my ears I answered, "Yeah, I guess. What was that?"

"What was what?" Spike asked.

"That flash and bang," I said. "From the spell."

"Good thing I planned ahead. Here, Hoyt, you will need to drink this, it will resolve your sensitivity to magic," Celestia said, floating a small and mysterious looking bottle in front of me.

"What is it?" I asked, taking the bottle and looking over it. "Number eight? What does that mean?"

"It is a potion, I had a small selection made to assist in your integration. Seven in total; the numbering order is due to a few medicines I had included in the same order," Celestia explained.

"I'm fairly certain it was only six sister," Luna said, giving Celestia an oddly stern look.

"Oh, no, Luna I am quite sure that it was seven. Should I double check the invoice? I have that as well, right here," Celestia rebutted, slightly raising her wing. Out floated a neatly folded, slightly yellow, piece of paper, which unfolded as Celestia read, "Let's see, we have; pathogen prevention, magic sensitivity, magic inoculation, skeletal health, fitness and cardiovascular health, dental health, and finally an elation formula which should minimize post-arrival depression. See?" Upon finishing she held the paper in front of Luna and waggled it about until deep blue magic took it from her grasp.

As Luna buried her nose in reading the paper, Celestia floated six more bottles to where my empty plate had been. Sorting them into groups, she instructed, "So, seven, eight and nine you should take now, the rest should wait until you're ready for bed as they will have the best results while you sleep." She then looked at a clock on the wall and said, "Which reminds me, it is time to retire. Those of you who wish to stay may do so, but I have court in the morning and must take rest. Hoyt, it has been enjoyable, be sure to take your medicine, Luna will show you to your chambers, and I'm sure we will see each other again tomorrow evening. Shining, if you would accompany me. Everypony else, I bid you good night." With that, Celestia rather quickly fled the room, followed closely by Shining Armor.

Twilight, for her part, seemed to have been rather confused by the whole exchange since her spell had caused my disorientation. "Magic sensitivity? Luna, can you explain what she meant?"

Luna was sitting frozen, staring at the paper still suspended before her. She finally pulled her head back from the paper and prepared to shout at her sister, only to find her absent. Seeing this, she roughly folded the paper again and summoned a quill which she expediently used to write on the paper, and then folded it again so that its outward faces were all blank. "Twilight, did you happen to see what was on that parchment?" she asked, getting a negative answer. "Tis for the better. Did you have any part in that?" she quickly asked, turning to Cadance.

Cadance was taken aback by the sudden stern questioning. "Lulu, what do you mean? I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," she said, holding her hooves up.

Luna took a deep breath and visibly calmed herself. "Spike, I have a request," she said, getting the dragon's full and alert attention. "I would like you to send this to Tia... after you reach your quarters," She said, as the little guy perked at the prospect and then deflated.

"Alright, I guess I'll be tired by then anyhow," Spike said, seeming somewhat dejected.

Luna quickly added, "Do this for me, and there will be a proper feast for you for lunch tomorrow; quartz, sapphires, emeralds, rubies, diamonds..." As she finished, she gave him a winning smile.

As Spike hurriedly left the room, suddenly overjoyed by the prospects of tomorrow's lunch, Luna turned to face me. "Please pardon my rudeness, but I must take my own leave for a short time. Meanwhile, please leave the potions untouched until I return," she said, her voice returning to an angelic tone. "Cadance, if you would be so kind as to come along with me, I have someone to talk to," she ordered more than said, as she walked out a different door.

"What was all that about?" I asked, now quite confused myself as two more ponies left the room.

"Wait, so what happened with my spell?" Twilight asked me.

"I take it that magic is not typically supposed to include audio and visual stimulation?" I said.

"Not unless there is a great deal of power invol- oh, right, never mind that. Normally unless a spell is intended to have such an effect, it doesn't. So how much have you been seeing and hearing up to now?" she replied.

"Well, so far it would seem a mostly unique colored glow and accompanying tone, varying from one to the next," I said.

"So what color does my magic have?" Rarity asked, excitement just at the edge of her composure.

"Blue, just lighter than your eyes... About the same as Cadance's dress actually," I answered. Seeing that more questions of the same subject were imminent I continued, "Twilight's is burgundy, Celestia's is gold, Luna's is deep blue, Cadance's is a very soft blue, and Shining's is... well his is pink, which is kinda funny really."

Twilight and Rarity both snickered at the last bit. "Now you must be joking. Shining? Pink? No way," Twilight said, looking incredulous at my statement.

"Not at all, it isn't quite as pink as Pinkie Pie, but it is a good match for Cadance," I said, trying to hold back a smirk.

"Ewww, could you please not make that reference? Eugh, gross," Twilight requested, scrunching her face. In response to this, Rarity clasped a hoof tightly over her muzzle and closed her eyes tightly while her body shook from unheard laughter.

After calming herself sufficiently for communication, Rarity said, "You see, Hoyt, a few months ago, Twilight walked in on-"

"I beg you please do not finish that sentence," came the rather demanding voice of Cadance from the door that she and Luna had left through minutes before.

"We apologize for running out like that, but it was necessary to talk with the potion-maker to be sure of some important details," Luna said as she returned to the table. "Now, Twilight, I would hazard that you are curious of this 'magic sensitivity' and what it means. Partly it is due to the lack of magic in his world, and partly due to humans having eyes that are more sensitive than most ponies', especially in low-light."

"Um, rod cells don't handle color though..." I said, now curious myself. "While I do have a far better than average ability to see my way in the dark, it's still all grays."

"What?" Luna suddenly gave me her full focus, which with her curious, and maybe slightly worried, expression, left me unsure of how to respond. "How well do you see our magic?"

"Well, what I see is a nearly unique colored glow, and an audible tone. Until we met earlier I was thinking it was unique to the user, but you and Celestia..." I was interrupted by my own thoughts. 'Wait a second, same colorations on both pairs, same eyes, same magics, same attitudes towards each other...' "Twilight, did you know?"

"Know what?" Twilight asked, while I kept my eyes locked on Luna, reading very well hidden expressions.

"So, how was your day, Moon Shine?" I asked Luna, watching her eyes go wide briefly, before her shock was very quickly hidden behind a practiced mask of neutrality.

Everyone at the table froze, staring at me as if I had gone mad. The chesire grin I was wearing certainly couldn't have been helping in that regard. Slowly my grin was joined by a similar one on Luna's face as she began to snicker and snort, until her mirth built into warm laughter. "HA! Haha! Hooo, oh, this is too good! Next you will be saying that Tia is Sunny Smiles!" she exclaimed.

If the skull wasn't made to hold someone's eyes in so thoroughly, then Twilight and Rarity's would have rolled across the table. "How would you know the name of a pony that was in Ponyville last night, accompanying another mare by the name I just called you?" I asked smugly.

Luna froze, unable to hide the shock at my revelation of her slip. "Luna, you were there?" Twilight said, seeming unsure of how she should feel.

"And you didn't invite me along?" said Cadance, feigning offense and failing to notice Twilight's state of mind.

My smile faded as I saw hurt flash across Twilight's face. "Actually, that's quite brilliant, disguise yourself and gather your own intell on the new guy firsthand, rather than rely on reports. Far more accurate that way. And of course no one local could know, or it would throw off the whole gig," I said, explaining away Luna's guilt.

"That actually makes a lot of sense, really," Rarity said, chipping in, having noticed Twilight's impending distress.

"Um, yes, quite. Anyhow, Cadance and I went to speak with Zecora a moment ago. This will need to be added to your potions to correct a minor miscalculation in Tia's original order for you," Luna said, floating a new bottle over to the several already sitting before me, and placed it next to the smaller group. "You should drink those four now, and the others before bed, as my sister instructed."

Cadance covered her mouth and yawned, flapping her wings slightly as she did so. "Alright, it has been fun, but even with the difference in time zones it is getting past my bedtime. Will I be seeing you all at breakfast?" she asked as her eyelids sunk to half mast.

Luna snorted and rolled her eyes, Twilight nodded vigorously, I held my palms up, unsure of how to answer while Rarity observed the non-verbal answers and chose to speak, "If that is an invitation, then I will certainly accept, but I may have need to take leave early as I do have several orders to pick up and drop off about town."

"Ah, very well then, I will leave you to your own devices, good night everypony," Cadance said, stifling another yawn. Twilight cleared her throat, and Cadance added, "Err, everyone, as the case would be." She smiled warmly with a nod before leaving the room.

I stared at the collection of small bottles as a silence fell upon the room. "Luna, might I ask who designed the magnificent gown that you're wearing?" Rarity asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, hmm... Firstly, they are called robes, and secondly, that is a story for another time. Suffice it to say, these were a choice made for our guest's comfort, as humans tend to shun nudity," Luna answered, turning to me for confirmation.

"What? Oh, yeah, my mom gets annoyed if she comes over to visit and I'm walking around the house in my undies," I said, only just picking up on the conversation, still curious about the collection of bottles. Seeing confusion on their faces I clarified, "Underwear, what Rainbow Dash showed everyone when she tried to moon the whole party with my ass."

"The showing of one's buttocks is referred to as what?" Luna asked.

"Mooning, because the butt cheeks get the least tanning and often have a nearly white complexion which, along with the typically round shape, makes it look like the moon... Ah, so many colors to paint this horse, so little time," I said, realizing that I had made yet another likely faux pas and attempting to soften it with a joke.

Bell like laughter rung through the room. Soon, Luna calmed herself and said, "Oh, it is always fun to ask people about that. You see, it is commonly called the same thing here, but almost never in front of myself, even though I invented it for our world." She tittered some more before going on to say, "The short version of the story, is that long ago, Princess Platinum had made some rather crude remarks to me, and I responded by showing her my backside and telling her to kiss it! My cutie mark gave the gesture its name here in our world, of course."

I couldn't help but laugh, the differing sources for the same rude gesture having the same name just tickled me in a way that only a very high - or perhaps very low - quality joke could. And then Rarity beat me to the punch on asking a question which gave me pause, "Well, did she?"

Luna looked confused for a short moment before going red in the face and trying her best to hide more laughter behind a hoof. "Well, not the first time, she actually ordered me thrown in the dungeon! But then, when I refused to set the moon the next morning... the day started half an hour late before she finally complied," Luna said, barely finishing her answer before bursting into more gales of laughter.

After a short moment my eyes rested yet again on the bottles. "So, about these?" I asked, pointing at the small collection.

"Ah, what would you like to know?" Luna replied.

"Well, quite a few questions come to mind; What do they do and how, as well as, why would be the biggest though."

"Hmm, very good questions indeed. The reason for them is that the survival requirements of your world leave you ill suited to this one, and it is our responsibility as Equestria's rulers to see to it that our subjects are healthy and happy whenever possible. These potions will help you to adapt to life here, mostly by fortifying your health," Luna said, answering most of my questions.

"So that brings up another question then, is healthcare provided by the state?"

"Yes, though typically through local hospitals and doctors. You're a special case however, as Celestia and I are the only ponies alive who remember your kind's last appearance, much less the slight differences in physiologies. You really should take those four now, by the way. I do not know what hour is typical for you to take rest, but it is prudent to separate the sets of potions," she said, further explaining the subtle differences in our worlds.

Picking up the newest arrival from the four bottles designated for immediate consumption, I picked the small cork from its opening and sniffed at the contents. The smell was... interesting, not foul, but not really pleasant either, and falling outside of my descriptive abilities. I took a deep breath, and emptied the bottle into my mouth, unsure of what to expect. The flavor was far more favorable, being slightly sweet but mostly neutral, with a faint tickle as it passed down my throat. "To socialized medicine," I proclaimed, setting the bottle down and reinserting the cork before picking up the next. Quickly I slammed the other three bottles, and lined them up with corks replaced, having paid little attention to their characteristics.

As the last phial came to rest on the table, Twilight asked, "So you don't have any qualms about... well, all of this?"

"Oh, I have a lot of qualms about the new world I find myself in, but those won't likely sink in until late tomorrow or the next day, seeing as I am still under culture shock from this whole ordeal," I said in reply.

"Ah, well that would explain your ease in talking and joking around with everypony so far," Twilight said, more thinking aloud than actually addressing anyone.

"Interesting response, ó- your predecessor, was rather quick to sink into depression after his arrival... Then again, you do possess a very different world view," Luna said, musing through her own thoughts. At this time there was a pop as a small puff of smoke appeared and dropped a scroll in front of Luna, who eyed it wearily.

Twilight looked at the scroll and noticed that Luna didn't pick it up. "It's from Celestia," she said.

"Indeed it is," Luna said with a smirk. "Hoyt, may I ask a favor?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Sure, I guess, what is it?"

"I need you to open this letter," she said, pushing the scroll with a hoof so it rolled over to me.

It was my turn to look suspiciously at the rolled paper. I leaned back in my chair and looked again at Luna. "Her traps are almost exclusively triggered by magic, so you will be quite safe," she said assuringly.

"Alright," I said, cautiously picking the scroll up and inspecting its seal and ribbon. I slid the ribbon off one end and set it over one of the empty bottles, then I unrolled the surprisingly thick paper to find the very last thing I would have expected; inside the scroll was a picture of Luna, wearing black socks on each leg and laying almost seductively on a bed of silken sheets, reading a book through horn-rimmed glasses. The picture was taken from what would have to be the most suggestive angle possible, and held me captivated for a moment. "Um, huh," was all I could manage to say.

"Hmm? what is it then?" Luna asked as she rose and stepped around the table to my seat.

Suddenly I was gripped with the fear of a thirteen year old about to be caught with the porn stash by my mom. Reflexively I let the scroll re-roll itself and clutched it tightly before she could see, almost moving to hide it under the table before I realized what I was doing, and cautiously held the rolled paper out for her to take. "I think she anticipated your caution..." I managed to speak this time, as I was no longer being actively stunned by the picture.

Luna's eyes went wide as her face blushed a deep red. Her horn only just started to glow before she stopped herself and said, "Hoyt, if you don't mind, set the scroll down, and step to the far side of the room." She pointed a hoof across the room, and I went to the indicated location. As Luna backed away from the table, Twilight and Rarity followed her example. "Tia has a habit of getting pretty serious with her pranks," she noted, lowering her head to point her great horn at the suspicious scroll.

Just as her magic lit upon the scroll, it unraveled and the photo within began to glow with its own light, projecting the image like a hologram and making the table look to be the bed, so that all present could see the image of Luna wearing her crescent moon embroidered socks, full life size. Needless to say, all three ponies were shocked, I however was transfixed by the beautiful display that now revealed far more detail than the photograph had originally revealed, every soft curve and luminous feather along with the sparkling mane and tail. "Wow, your note must have pissed her off," Twilight said, breaking my trance.

Having returned to rational though, I turned my back on the pleasant view of Luna's rearward curves in the illusion, even though my position gave a nice view of her... cutie mark. Folding my hands together I listened, waiting to hear that it had been dismissed. "TARTARUS! That flaming nag! Ooh, she will see my wrath on the morrow!" Luna exclaimed, audibly furious and stamping her hooves. After a moment I heard her take a deep breath, and then her magic and the sound of the parchment being manipulated. Finally she sighed in exasperation and said, "Well, it seems that We shall be overseeing your introduction to the nobility tomorrow, Hoyt, and so an early rest is recommended for us both. Ugh, she does know how to be spiteful, doesn't she? Alright, shall we away to the chambers?"

It was agreed that bedtime had arrived, and so we all set of down the long hallways. Walking along with my ukulele hanging across my belly, I felt moved to play An Old Song, one well known around earth as 'The New-year's Song' even though it was almost never played past the first verse. It was the only song that I knew both the music and lyrics to, and I somehow managed to play through my surprise when Luna's beautiful voice filled the halls with the traditional words;

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?"

"For auld lang syne, my jo,

for auld lang syne,

we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

for auld lang syne."

At this point Twilight joined in, staying true to the original words, rather than the more common modernized lyrics.

"And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne."

Rarity joined for the chorus, and left the princesses to sing the verses.

"We twa hae run about the breas,
and pu'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit,
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl'd i' the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

"And there's a hoof, my trusty fiere!
And gie's a hoof o' thine!
And we'll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.

As the chorus came to a close and the song to an end, I felt my heart fluttering about, trying to climb up through my throat, and noticed my cheeks were more than a little moistened by tears. In spite of this, my cheeks were also starting to hurt a little from the force of the smile that had found itself on my face. Emotions tore violently at the core of my being, threatening to overwhelm me entirely, then I heard a sniffle from Luna. "Oh, oh my, it has been... so very long since last I heard that song," she said, sounding a bit choked-up. "And here are you chambers, Hoyt. I'll be back shortly, we, we will tak a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne."

Twilight and Rarity both announced their own intention to go ahead to bed, and I offered my own choked-up "G'night" as they went down the hall only a couple of doors down before disappearing through the doors to their own rooms. Shortly after stepping through the door indicated for myself, Luna appeared with a bottle and two glasses already full of a clear and sparkling liquid; true moonshine.

Author's Note

Hehe, so I kinda wanted to end the first arch, and make it a big finale... my tablet's word processor says this is just 9330 words, and I stopped because I really didn't want to go 5 digits on the word count, narrowly dodged that one, huh? 9950? wtf fimfic...

And yet again many thanks go to my proofreader Sneaky, be sure to go check out his stories, good reading to be found.