The Castle's outer wall rose high and stretched far, bending in the distance to presumably meet the mountain face. To either side of the great arch-topped gates banners flew, proudly displaying a sun on a field of white, next to a magenta star on a field of lavender and finally a crescent moon with stars on a field of midnight blue. "Wow, I've never gotten to see a proper castle before, this place is HUGE! Would those be the standards of the princesses?" I asked Twilight.

"Hmm? Oh yes, Celestia, myself and Luna," she said, pointing to indicate each of the banners. "Wait, you've never even seen a castle? Wow, your world must be weird."

"We have castles, but for me to see one would mean about seven thousand miles of travel, or simple pictures which I have seen. Photographs don't do the real thing justice," I said, marvelling at the grand and bizarre architecture.

Coming to a stop in front of a huge pair of doors, Twilight, Rarity, Spike and myself left the chariot, and I followed the ponies' example of thanking the drivers before they snorted and pulled it away. As we proceeded towards the doorway the unicorn guards to either side lit their horns and opened the way to the opulent halls within.

The great chamber was clearly intended to impress, which it did. From the polished stone floors and walls, to the stained glass windows and tapestries, as well as the luxurious carpet and towering columns, this place left no doubt that it was home to royalty. Spotting the detail in one of the windows, my curiosity drew me closer like a moth to a flame. At the top, in the midst of a starburst of light and dark pinks was a very strange looking creature that would make a platapus look normal, but below was a depiction of six ponies with similarly pink halos. The ponies in the window looked so very familiar, and then like a ton of bricks it hit me, 'I know them, that's Twilight and her friends! Wait a second...' "Twilight?" I called, not taking my eyes from the window.

"Hmm? Oh, that. This window commemorates when we used the Elements of Harmony to defeat Discord. A few years ago he broke out of his stone prison and wrought havoc all over Equestria, but history will have to wait; right now we have an appointment to get to," Twilight explained, nodding away further into the palace.

I continued to stare, sensing something was wrong. "Hold the phone, where are your wings?" I asked, pointing at her depiction and finally turning to look at her.

Twilight brought a hoof to her neck, and was intensely interested in scrutinizing the other for a moment as the aforementioned appendages twitched almost wildly at her sides. After a moment she leveled her head, brought the hoof from her neck to her chest and made a show of releasing a deep breath. "Hehe, sorry um, as I said, history will have to wait. All will be explained soon enough though," she said, pleading with her eyes for the question to be put off.

"Okay," I ceded and moved to again follow as she lead the way through the grandiose palace.

Just as my feet were starting to complain about the length of the walk, Twilight announced, "There's the throne room, just ahead." I notice her wing twitch a bit as they had sporadically since the talk at the window earlier.

"Princess Twilight," the two guards bowed in unison at her approach. One stood and addressed the princess directly, "Your Highness, Princess Celestia has moved the meeting to her private study. Apologies for the inconvenience."

"Thank you sir, we'll be headed there then," she replied cheerily.

As we set off further down the corridor, I realized that there had been rather little small talk, and the continuous clopping of hooves on stone floor didn't help. After a moment a thought came to mind, 'I totally threw Rarity under the bus back there with Fancy Pants, didn't I?' "Hey, Rarity?" I asked, getting her attention, as well as the other's. "Just realized, a bit late I know, but, back there with Fancy Pants? That was kind of a jerk move on my part, sorry about that." I offered a sympathetic smile as she turned to face me.

"Darling, I had the impulse to call him over to see your reaction. It is I who should apologize," Rarity replied, raising a hoof to her chest, somehow without changing her gait.

"Well, the apology is mutual then. Anyhow, just how big is this place, Twilight? Feels like we've gone far enough to cross a small town," I said, turning to the princess.

"The Castle? Well, it is almost as large as Ponyville, and we are getting close to the far end where Celestia's study is, so your assessment is correct. Speaking of which, there's her study up ahead." Twilight pointed at two guards and a door on the left side of the hall.

"Ah, so the long walk is nearly at its end, that's a relief. My feet are starting to get tired of this stone floor." As we approached the door in question the guards remained still, only moving their eyes to stay focused on me as they lit their horns to open the ornate doors, revealing a staircase.

At the top of the stairs we entered a large, round, well appointed room with a fireplace, bookcases and a couple of desks and dressers lining the wall. In the middle of the room was a very large red cushion, not unlike a massively oversized beanbag, accompanied by a few smaller cushions, and a single wooden armchair that looked not at all like it was built for a pony, but for a human, a wealthy one at that. For a moment we seemed to be alone in the room, until a tannish mare with a dark brown mane pulled into a bun revealed herself from behind the door and bowed to introduce herself, "Good evening Princess Twilight and guests, I am Speedy Quill. The Princesses Celestia and Luna will be along shortly, but they have asked that I pass this message to you Tw- er, Princess Twilight. I have also been instructed to inquire if any refreshments would be required?" she asked as she passed a scroll to Twilight.

"The usual tea and biscuits would be lovely, Quill," Twilight replied as she unrolled the scroll and started across the room. "Oh, Quill? Some ice as well, for our special guest," she added with a smile before the mare could leave.

"Of course, ma'am." With that, Quill left the room hurriedly.

Twilight tittered as she scanned the parchment she'd been given, thinking aloud, "It's good to see some of the staff still remember me as me and not princess." Finding this odd I looked to see if Rarity or Spike had any reaction, which they didn't shy of each giving their own small nod. Speaking again, Twilight turned to each of us in turn, "Spike, you know which cushion is customarily yours, Rarity, you are to take that one, and for you, Hoyt, the chair has been provided in consideration of your unique posture..." She paused, looking at the cushion she had indicated for Rarity, and the medium sized one between it and the large one she herself now sat in the middle of. Twilight 'hmm'ed to herself as the rest of us took our appointed seats, myself feeling awkward for sitting in such a finely carved chair, and for sitting higher than the room's other occupants.

Spike sat upon a smallish cushion between myself and the large central one Twilight took. I was noticing the fine carving and craftsmanship of the chair as the doors opened again and I heard two sets of hoofsteps enter, pulling my attention away from the wood, and to the newly arrived ponies. The first I noticed was a unicorn stallion, nearly as large as Macintosh, pure white and with an electric blue mane, and a red uniform jacket that made me think of so many tourist photos from Buckingham Palace but without the large hat of the 'Beefeaters'. On his right was a tall and slender pink unicorn mare with a long flowing mane striped with violet, rose and gold, wearing a very elegant baby-blue dress that shimmered as she moved. Twilight, for her part, hadn't noticed, and continued to go over the message and point a hoof around as if counting the room's occupants and seating positions. The new arrivals stood just inside the room as I watched for a reaction from Spike or Rarity, both of whom simply watched between the unresponsive Twilight lost in thought, and the couple at the door.

As I sat and watched, completely unsure of the proprieties to be observed, salvation from the awkwardness came in the form of the stallion clearing his throat to get Twilight's attention. At this abrupt noise the purple mare looked up, and realization dawned slightly upon her face. "Ah, that seat would be for Shiny and Cadance," she said, thinking aloud before looking up again to the newcomers, whereupon realization struck her anew, with a mix of other emotions. "Shining! Cadance! What are you two doing here?" she asked as she ran across the room to embrace them.

"Well, sis, we heard there was an important meeting, and that you'd be here," Shining Armor replied, hugging back tightly.

"Of course, we hardly need a reason to visit our Twilight, right dear?" Cadance asked Shining over the back of Twilight.

"Oh, right, introductions are in order," Twilight said, pulling back from the embrace. "Of course you remember Spike and Rarity, and here is the new guy, Hoyt, he's from Earth!" she announced, sounding somewhat proud, as if of a discovery.

"Haha, hi there, nice to meet you," I said, as I stood and turned to bow while taking off my hat and hanging my ukulele over the back of the chair.

Turning to me, Twilight continued, "Hoyt, this is Princess Cadance, and my brother, Prince Shining Armor." She indicated each in turn.

With a chuckle, Shining said, "Really, you can just call me Shining."

Taking his offered hoof, I replied, "Fair enough, call me whatever you want, anything but 'late for dinner'." Seeing that I got nothing but odd looks for my joke, I explained, "It's an old joke back home, 'don't call me late for dinner'... Means 'call me what you will if the food is ready'." An understanding 'Ah' rang through the room. "Yeah, it never was that big a hit back home either," I finished with a shrug.

Stepping to face the newly arrived princess, I knelt onto one knee and took her offered hoof in my right hand, still holding the hat to my chest with my left. "And of course, the lovely Princess Cadance," I spoke, bringing her hoof to my brow as I had with Twilight just a day before. A warning cough from Shining drew my attention to his stern gaze with raised eyebrow. "Hmm? Ah, I get what you're thinking Shining, but this is not quite that. What I have just done is a greeting for higher nobility of the female gender, what would be appropriately upsetting would be a very similar greeting with the point of contact about five inches lower, and some slightly different mannerisms involved. Shall I demonstrate to prove the difference?" I asked, still holding Cadance's hoof. Seeing Shining's brow only raise higher, I released said hoof and stood to address Rarity, "Rarity, if you would be so kind as to volunteer for this demonstration?"

After a short pause out of surprise, Rarity smiled and trotted the few steps to approach. "But of course darling," she chirped as she moved to stand in profile to the observing nobles.

"Thank you ma'am." Twilight had her quill and scroll ready for taking notes as I began, "First, I should explain that I kneel simply for the sake of elevation, as my height is somewhat prohibitive to either gesture. Most women back home are about the same height as myself, you see." I paused, waiting for Twilight to finish writing before I knelt and continued, "With that matter resolved, the greeting for a noble, as I was taught, would begin from this point with a compliment or simple statement of title, or preferably both." At this time I held out my hand to receive Rarity's hoof, and explained further, "This is also when the gentleman takes the lady's hand, or hoof as the case may be. A side note would be the posture of the thumb as it also differs between the two greetings, for this one it is held alongside or under the lady's hand, but never over in a dominant position, and also it should be still so as not to imply intimacy. While the compliment is being paid, eye contact is also maintained until the head is bowed, like so." I turned to look into Rarity's eyes and said in an even tone, "Fair Lady Rarity, it is an honor to make your acquaintance."

After returning my gaze to her face, having gone through the prescribed motions of bringing her hoof to my brow, I turned again to speak to Shining and the princesses, still holding Rarity's hoof, "The contact is brief, and as you will observe, she is glad to be properly greeted, but nothing more. Now for the 'Courtesan's' greeting, if I remember the name correctly, it changes from the point of taking the hand, er, hoof. With this greeting the thumb and fingers are allowed to play a little, still not to take a dominant or gripping posture, but they can feel around." I punctuated the point by brushing my thumb over the top of Rarity's hoof, getting a faint giggle, before continuing again, "Also the compliment will pick up a great deal of intensity, often including the tone of voice becoming 'sultry' or 'seductive' in the process. And perhaps the most important change is the eye contact, which is maintained throughout, as the- hoof, is brought in for a gentle brush of the lips, or a kiss if you're bold enough."

Rarity tittered as I turned my gaze back to her smiling, deep blue eyes. I cleared my throat and assumed my best seductive tone, "Fair Lady Rarity, it is ever so lovely to make your acquaintance this fine evening." Bringing the silken socked hoof up, I was successful in aiming for just above the delicate shoe for a light peck of a kiss. Letting the hoof return partway to its owner, I gave a slight squeeze with my fingers as I winked at her again as I had the day before.

Bringing her hoof to her face, it was obvious for all to see that Rarity was putting up a hard fight to maintain her composure. Turning back to the royal audience, I saw that Shining Armor and Cadence were clearly impressed, and Twilight was taking notes at a furious pace. "You see, this time the reaction is quite different, observe the blushing cheeks, suppressed giggles and grin that is too wide to hide. This greeting is very different, with the intended results being that the lady is flattered, and perhaps inclined towards engaging in further romantic pursuit. Whereas the greeting I gave your good lady wife suggests only that I wish to be polite and impress," I finished, resting my case as I stood to bow, having completed my performance.

Twilight finished her notes, gave them a quick glancing over, and focused a flash of magic to bring a copy to rest in front of Cadance. Going again over the beginning of her notes, she stopped and looked very curiously at me before asking, "But, didn't you say yesterday that your country has no royalty? Why then would you know such a greeting?"

I couldn't help a smile at this response, along with a chuckle. "In recent years it has become popular to hold festivals, called 'renaissance fairs', where people go about pretending to be in the olden times and places when and where courtship had more emphasis on the court, as in the king or queen's court, and such courtly behaviours were the rule rather than the exception. The costumes and theatrics make for a nice break from life's daily grind for a weekend, and of course lessons are often offered on courtly etiquette. I just happened to take a keen interest in the more... romantic side of it," I explained.

"Huh, so, might you be offering some of these lessons?" Cadance playfully asked, nodding towards Shining with a half hidden smirk.

"Hey," Shining protested, grinning at his wife's teasing.

Cadance gave him a quick reassuring peck on the lips and pulled back to smile at him. "You know you're mine, and I'm yours, but it wouldn't hurt to maybe go over Twily's notes? Could be fuuun..." she suggested with a certain fire in her eyes.

Shining 'hmm'ed briefly before turning to his sister and reading the scroll over her shoulder with rapt attention. A slight, barely audible ruffle drew my attention to a magnificent pair of pink and purple wings spreading from Cadance's back, and soon my eyes were locked onto hers. At first it seemed as though she was not looking at me, but through me, but then it felt like she wasn't looking through, but rather into me. Soon her wings folded, and my head felt fuzzy, as if I had had an important thought, and lost it; a question that had to be asked, lost on a brain-fart. "Shall we sit while we wait? The tea should be arriving soon," noted Cadance.

As if on cue, Quill, along with an apron wearing unicorn came in with a few trays and a small table floating along in tow. While we all took our seats, Shining and Cadance sharing the medium cushion, the servers set up the table with the trays on it, and set to pouring steaming hot tea into cups with saucers. Twilight floated a few cubes of ice over one of the cups before stopping to ask, "You do prefer your tea iced, right?"

Realizing that the question was directed at me, I sat up straight and made myself answer, "Oh, uh, yes please. Thank you." Clink, clink, clink, three cubes fell in to be joined by the hot tea, crackling from the heat. When the cup then floated in front of me, I remembered an awkward moment from the night before and asked, "So, is it okay to just, grab it? As I explained I have limited experience with flying beverages."

Rarity and Twilight snickered at this, while Cadance raised a brow and the guys didn't seem to get what I was on about. "Yes, it is perfectly fine to grasp something being offered to you with magic," she said, floating another cup in front of Spike as he demonstrated the ability to simply grab it as the magic dissipated. Seeing this, I followed suit by bringing my left hand under and my right around the cup, feeling its weight settle into my palm as the magic faded from around it.

"Alright, I guess, still seems weird, all this magic and stuff," I said.

A soft tone, delicate and powerful came from the door as it glowed with a golden light and swung open. Into the room walked two of the most enchanting creatures I had ever seen, both with long manes that flagged about as if on a breeze that wasn't present, and both also displaying great beautiful wings proudly standing from their backs. The first was a dominating presence; tall and almost luminously white, her mane striped with blue, burgundy, and green was held loosely with an ornate golden clasp, she wore a robe of light blue and a royal purple mantle edged with ornate gold embroidery, and decorative bands around her forelegs above elegant golden shoes. The second was a captivating presence; tall but slightly less so and deep indigo blue, her mane looked as if it were made from a piece of the night sky with little twinkling stars flitting about, also held loosely but with a silvery clasp just as ornate, her own robe off white with a crimson red mantle edged with silver embroidery matching her shoes.

Such was their majesty that I hardly noticed as Twilight ran up and hugged each in turn, breaking me from my inadvertent staring when I heard the sound of my own name. "Hoyt, meet my mentor and 'former' teacher, Princess Celestia of Equestria," Twilight proclaimed proudly, indicating the large white pony. "As well as my very good friend and also fellow Princess of Equestria, Luna," she said, smiling as she gestured a hoof towards the enchanting, angelic visage of the star-maned mare.

I stood as a sense of surreality slipped over me, and first addressed Celestia, "Honored to meet you, Your Majesty." She stood eye level with me so I only bowed to bring her hoof to my forehead as she placed it in my hand. As Celestia's hoof slipped away from my palm, I turned to Luna, who hesitantly placed her own hoof in my hand. "I apologize for staring, but your beautiful mane held me captivated, Your Majesty," I said, looking into her wondrous green eyes before bringing her hoof to my brow with a slightly deeper bow than was needed for the same gesture with Celestia.

"Well, it is refreshing to see that chivalry yet survives, even if slightly altered. It is quite nice to meet you as well, Sir Hoyt," Celestia said with a voice that would seem as if from a choir of angels.

"Indeed, Sir Hoyt, we are quite pleased to make your acquaintance as well," said Luna, her voice every bit as sweet as the larger pony's.

Before I could comment, the princesses all moved to sit upon the large cushion. Those of Equestria at least; Cadance remained by Shining Armor on the adjacent cushion. "Have a seat, please, there is much to discuss," Celestia said, gesturing a gold shod hoof to the lone chair in the room. As I sat, my hat was enveloped in magic and floated over to be inspected closely as she commented, "I must say, I'll have to give Ponyville more credit in the future. Never would have guessed you two to move so fast though." She brushed a hoof along each feather in the hat as she looked to the corresponding ponies with a sly grin.

Twilight and Rarity stared between the hat and Celestia rapidly, and having quite the race between themselves to determine who could turn redder faster. Feeling my own face warm rather suddenly, I heard snickering as Cadance reached over to tap Luna's shoulder and say, "Look Luna, his blush goes clean to the top of his head!" Suddenly the full attention of three princesses and one prince were on my head, literally. This also made me aware of my own participation in the ongoing race.

Laughing nervously, I scratched my head and cleared my throat. "It was me that picked those feathers, actually," I said, getting all remaining eyes on me, and silencing Cadance.

Celestia cocked an eyebrow as she stared at me a moment before turning to Cadance to ask curiously, "So Cady, how are things going in the Empire?" With those words the race gained a fourth participant, whose pink coloration gave a head start.

"Well, the nobility aren't so bad, and the fashion industry seems to be picking up with the times..." Cadance softly replied. Celestia waved a hoof for her to continue, so she did, "Lavender Blossom and Star Shimmer seem quite nice at least, and Seldom Occurrence's shop is getting quite popular." As Cadence spoke Twilight, Luna and Rarity seemed to take keen interest in her words. "Shiny Days may prove problematic in the court however."

Celestia shrugged at this before speaking to me, "Sorry for the interruption. You see, my niece rules over the Crystal Empire, our neighbors and allies to the north, and I just now remembered to ask about her report on their wellbeing. So, with matters of state aside, what are your thoughts on Equestria thus far? It has been quite some time since I've heard an outsider's honest opinion."

Embarrassment forgotten, I took a moment to consider my experiences thus far before answering, "Well, so far everyone seems more than friendly enough, but my exposure has hardly been enough to develop a proper comparative analysis. Really this has all been very confusing from the beginning for me."

"Very well, do you have some questions of your own that you'd like to ask? I should think there would be no shortage of inquiries for a person in your peculiar predicament," Celestia said.

"A great many questions, I assure you, but where to start? How did I get here? How do I get home? Can I go home? How is it that there are so many parallels between this world and my own? And then there is a myriad of questions I keep asking myself but have no answers for, which is yet another new experience for me, and I'm still not sure how to feel about that, among other things..." I said, feeling a wide mix of emotions start to flood through my being.

Celestia sighed and turned to Luna, who nodded with slight remorse barely showing in her eyes. Turning back to me she said, "Very well, I think we have some explaining to do, involving magic and a bit of physiology."

"Physiology?" I asked.

"Yes, physiology. Are you comfortable? Because this, is going to take a while," she said. I turned the chair to better face her and retrieved my cup of tea from the table in response as I sat and readied myself as well as I could for a long lecture.

A long lecture was exactly what I got, to say the least. At the end of it all, I was shocked, more than I had ever been before, even more than I was at Applejack's oral ambush the night before. "Well, that paints this horse a different color." The words slipped from my mouth before I could consider the ramifications of my statement. "Oh, shit."

Author's Note

ok, so, sorry about the long delay, but this was not an easy chapter to write, trying to keep everypony in character here was a bit of a bitch, but hopefully i pulled it off, maybe...

anyhow, many thanks go yet again to Sneaky for proof reading this, whatever this is... but yeah, go check out his stuff, especially 'close bonds' which is awesome.

ps. little extra note, i uploaded this the day before yesterday, and derped out on pressing the 'publish' button... FACEDESK