A small sign over the door read 'Carousel Boutique' as I looked in at Rarity and the stairs. The foyer was modest, but nicely decorated, and a flowery smell hung about. Stepping in so the door could close, Rarity spoke before I could ask about the evasive purple princess. “So tell me darling, what brings you here? A fitting, or would you rather just visit?” She bounced her mane with a hoof, and swished her tail about, looking at me with eyes a half step away from 'bedroom.'

“Well, we were coming to see about some clothes, as I'll need something clean to wear tomorrow, but I gotta ask, is Twilight OK?” I asked, hoping not to be hurtful in being cold towards her advances.

The white unicorn smiled warmly at my concern, “She'll be fine, and by the sound of it drying, when she comes back down. Should leave us twenty minutes to ourselves, we don't have to get straight to the fitting.” Her smile turned coy and she winked before turning to sashay into what I could only assume to be the fitting room. 'No two ways about it, she knows exactly what she's doing.'

I followed and found that the room was most of the ground floor. Several areas along the round outer wall serving different purposes, mostly displaying assorted types of craft or styles of dress. Rarity beckoned me over to a small round dais near the far corner of the room. “So, starting out by putting me on display, huh?” I teased as I approached. I was rewarded with a coquettish smile.

“Actually, this is just where I do all of my measuring darling. Although your idea does sound much more entertaining,” she explained with a devious grin. Stepping up on the 'display' my hat only just scraped the ceiling. “Oh, dear, that'll never do. I guess it will just have to be done on the floor then.” This made me chuckle at what she didn't really mean to imply, which got a giggle out of her.

Stepping down again, I leaned close and lowered my voice in volume and tone, “Where I'm from, that is normally saved for at least the third date.” Rarity stood frozen for a moment, turning red with a blush that ignored the typical boundaries of the face. It was about halfway through my sentence that the back door opened, followed by the entrance of a small white unicorn that bore a distinct resemblance to the one immediately in front of me.

Turning quickly and losing her blush almost fast enough to be forgotten, “Sweetie Belle!? What are you doing back so early? I expected you to be out with your friends for another hour or so, playing in that clubhouse, is something wrong?” Rarity gradually went from a surprised start, to calm, and then finally settled on mild concern for her sister.

After giving her older sister a funny look, Sweetie Belle explained, “What? No, nothing's 'wrong,' we just wrapped up early today is all. Scootaloo wanted to go hang out with Rainbow Dash, and Applebloom had chores to do. What's that?” she asked, pointing a small hoof at me.

“Sweetie Belle, don't be rude! This is Mister Hoyt, and he's from another world,” said Rarity with a surprisingly casual tone. “Now if you'll excuse me, I do believe I should go check on Twilight.” With that said, Rarity bolted for the stairs, her steps very audible through the floor. Sweetie Belle and I stood there as we heard the rapid steps move across the upper floor, a couple of doors opened and quickly shut, and a surprised scream from Twilight, followed briefly by a yelp from Rarity, and some final rustling steps before things calmed down.

“What was that about?” Sweetie Belle asked no one as she stared at the ceiling.

“Oh, nothing I'd expect you need to worry much over.” Nonchalantly dismissing the young girl's concern, I then turned to her and asked, “So you're Sweetie Belle then, I take it?” She looked strangely at me and nodded. Crouching low in a kneeling position, I leaned just a little closer and continued, “If I remember right, Twilight had a request for you. Hm, we had just sent Spike back to the library...” I scratched at my chin as if trying to remember something.

“Ooh, ooh! Did she say I could go? Did she?” the young unicorn asked excitedly, making me work hard to keep a neutral face.

“Oh right! She was going to see if you might be able to help him out over there. He sure must be happy to have a pretty young lady like yourself coming over to help out. Right?” I asked with the kind of teasing yet warm smile that my dad used to give me when I was just a kid and had a crush on some girl.

“Um, I don't know...” she replied rather weakly.

“Well, if you don't know about his feelings, have you tried to find out?” I asked, not bothering with whether or not she had similar feelings for the reptile, as her feelings were obvious.

“What?! How would I do that? I mean, wait, why would I want to know about his feelin's?” she asked, giving me a skeptical look.

'Oh, she is good. But still, I am better. I've been on her end of this game, she hasn't been on my end.' I gave an exaggerated shrug of my shoulders, holding my palms up to indicate my lack of possible offerings and said “Oh, I don't know for sure. I'm just saying that if I were his age, and sent to watch over a library, I'd be pleased as punch to have a pretty young filly like yourself for company. That's all I'm sayin'.” I finished with my right hand spread over my chest and offering something that would look like a 'duck face' if it weren't for my mustache. 'Hopefully she can't catch on to theatrics too easily... I may have laid that on a touch thick.'

“You may just have a point,” she said, again looking at me suspiciously. “Alright, you tell Rarity that I'm gone to the library when she gets out of the cold shower Twilight was taking!” She then dashed out the door, leaving me dumbfounded. 'One of these days, I might actually get a fucking clue... Wait a second, they're both in a cold shower?!? Guess I'm better than I thought.'

I couldn't help a prideful chuckle at myself as I waited for the 'grown-up' ponies to return.

After a short wait, the two mares came downstairs and into the room where I waited. Rarity had her mane and tail wrapped in towels, her mane somehow stacked like a tower atop her head. Twilight's mane and tail were dangerously distracting, not wet but moist and clinging to her face, neck and legs. It was difficult but I managed to strangle my reaction to the princess's appearance down to a single raised brow.

Rarity looked at me, confused at my expression. “Where is Sweetie Belle?” she asked worriedly as she noted the younger unicorn's absence.

Carefully choosing my words I replied “I sent her, as per royal request, to the library. By now she should either already be there, or is knocking on the door as we speak.” I gestured towards Twilight to indicate her involvement.

Rarity had plenty to say, but held herself until Twilight spoke. “Hoyt here learned through conversation about Spike's feelings, and offered to help him. Given what I have learned so far about his abilities and tendencies, I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of his statement, aside from the 'royal request' part.” the princess gave me a look that would wither flowers. “Most likely, he spoke with Sweetie, gathering information about her feelings towards Spike, before sending her off to the library with the intentions that the two may initiate courtship.”

“The fair princess has identified and analyzed my cunning plan with astounding accuracy. She does indeed speak the truth, both of my actions and intentions. I do pray thou wilt forgive me if mine actions have offended thee, Fair Lady Rarity,” I said while giving as dramatic a bow as I knew, with both hands outstretched, palms forward, and head down.

“And he's a total ham if you haven't figured that out for yourself,” Twilight said rather flatly, even though the corners of her mouth threatened to turn upwards.

“HA! OK, you caught me, fair and square, Twilight. Yes Rarity, I did indeed send your sister to the library with potential lines of thought likely to lead towards a courtship between the two. And I did plant the seeds of these thoughts through calculated actions of my own. And with the exception of 'royal request' I have told no lies to you regarding my discussion with Sweetie Belle. My only intention was to get two young lovebirds who were crushing over each other to act on their own existing emotions,” I explained, now sitting on the floor.

Rarity looked to be undecided between slapping me, thanking me, or some other course of action that likely included beating me shitless. To my great relief she opted against the first and last options, and decided to shock both Twilight and myself, “But, Sweetie doesn't have feelings for Spike.” It came out in a flat tone, one that would imply no other potentiality was possibly true.

“Um, hate to tell you, but she has it as bad or worse for him, as he does for her,” I said with a grimace, awaiting whatever beating the diva may be able to dish out. None came, however, as she stared at me with a deadpan expression of disbelief.

“Really? Her too?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“Yeah, she is crushing all over that little guy. If they don't have a date set up yet I'd be mighty surprised myself. The way she acted when I mentioned that he was alone at the library... No two ways about it, they both got the love bug in a bad way. Just hope those 'wings of love' can figure out how to take off and fly,” I said somewhat thoughtfully.

“Wait, let me get this straight, Spike stopped crushing on me, and that transferred to Sweetie?” Rarity asked, answered by nods from Twilight and myself. “And Hoyt here caught on to this and offered to help get the two together?” Again we nodded in affirmation. “And Sweetie Belle has a crush on Spike as well?” I nodded, smiling now. “And you sent my sister to the library, with notions of ending this cycle of perceived unrequited love?” She asked me directly.

“That is the gist of it, yes.” I smiled and nodded. Then a realization struck, and so I continued, “I do hope I haven't overstepped any proprieties, have I?”

“No, it's fine. I'm just... shocked is all. How could Sweetie hold a crush without me knowing about it? Her own sister! Does she not trust me? What has Equestria come to? When a filly cannot confide in her sister! This is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!” She exclaimed, throwing herself onto a nearby sofa, with a hoof to her forehead. I quickly had to force my gaze away as her position put far more on display than would be considered polite for a man to look upon, especially with another friend present.

“Rarity, it's not that bad. I mean she's your little sister after all, she probably just prefers to talk to friends her own age about that kind of thing. I know I never really talked with Shiny or Cadence about stuff like that when I was her age,” Twilight said, trying to comfort her sprawled friend. Rarity rolled herself upright and we both looked at the princess expecting further explanation. “OK, so back when I was in Celestia's school, there was this colt I had started to notice walking to the private school a few blocks away. I never got to speak with him, but saw him walking there each morning, and home in the afternoon. I realized I had a crush on him when I caught myself stopping at a window in the hall to watch him walk to his school, then I was... late to class. The only time I was ever late to a class was because I had to stop at a window and ogle this colt who I'd never know. It was then that I made myself stop watching, and eventually my crush faded.” Twilight wore a wistful look as she finished, a slight smile tugging at her lips.

“That simply will not do darling, come on, details, did you ever learn his name?” Rarity asked, eyes wide and hooves clapping.

“Actually, I did, just a year ago. Remember the garden party we crashed?” Rarity now looked shocked, but nodded for Twilight to continue. “I didn't recognize him at the time, but Celestia knew, and sent a letter asking if anything happened between myself and Fancy Pants.” The fashionista's jaw almost fell to the sofa she sat on, while I had to bite my hand to keep from exploding with laughter.

“Your foalhood crush was Fancy Pants? The Fancy Pants?” Rarity asked, scandalized shock across her face.

A snort of a laugh forced its way out of me, earning a curious look and a mild smile-tinged glare. “Yes, the Fancy Pants, and yes that is seriously his name, no need for hysterics,” Twilight said, first to Rarity and then to me with a roll of her eyes.

The alabaster diva turned to question me, “Why would a name like 'Fancy Pants' be so entertaining? Your own name being so similar to that of Hoity Toity.” Suddenly all the laughter in me died a quick and merciless death. Almost two whole decades since I managed to forget that name, even my dad had stopped using it to tease me.

“Seriously? 'Hoity Toity'? Please tell me you're joking,” I requested, but was answered by a pair of curious looks. “Ugh, when I was a little kid, in kindergarten, that was a name other kids would tease me with. But then again, after thirty or so lost the resulting fights with me, they kinda ran out of motivation to tease me, something about teasing the guy with a perfect win record just isn't appealing,” I explained, now getting a shocked look. “I had an Irish temper as a kid, but that was over twenty years ago now. So for real, is that an actual name here?” They were both shocked, and the pause grew awkward.

Rarity finally broke the silence, graciously answering my question and turning the conversation, “Yes darling, it is, he is actually a good friend of Fancy Pants, and both are well respected among Canterlot's high society. Speaking of which, is your current attire...” She paused before grinning and finishing her question, “Well, are you wearing your 'fancy pants'?” The white unicorn barely fought down a bout of giggling laughter as she delivered a joke so cheap I would have thought twice.

Twilight tried to shoot her friend a scandalized look, but the laughter obviously in her eyes made it a funny face that got Rarity to forget her reservations and laugh in earnest. I caught up with the pun about this time and was glad to be sitting on the floor already. The princess, for her part maintained far more modesty in her giggles before finally scolding, “Rarity! A pun? How could you?” Though the impact was lost to the smile and laughs still coming from her.

“Ow, my sides hurt! That was way funnier than it should have been,” I said, clutching my ribs. Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I stood and walked over to a mirror I had spotted near a rack of dresses on oddly shaped hangers. Looking at my reflection I was glad that laundry day was approaching, leaving mostly my nicer clothes. I was not wearing anything that would pass for fancy: the less scuffed of my pairs of work boots, socks that could still be called 'newish,' khaki cargo pants free of grease or paint stains and untorn, plain striped button-up shirt with short sleeves, and my handy collapsible faux-straw fedora. Only the button-up shirt would pass for 'almost formal' and that only just. Noticing that my beard and hair had grown out a bit long, obscuring my neck in the front and back, an interesting thought came to mind. “Twilight, how 'dressed' is one expected to be for meeting royalty here?” I asked, looking at her through the mirror while smoothing the front of my shirt.

“Not sure if you've noticed, Hoyt, but 'dressed' at all is generally more than we ponies do. So is it safe to assume that your kind don't consider clothing optional?” She asked, and I would have snickered, but for the first part of her statement. 'How the hell have I not noticed that?' Seeing the shock evident on my face, she concluded, “I'll take that to mean that clothing is required then.”

“I'll just ignore that for now to process it later,” I said, shaking my head to return to the previous line of thought. “Though I guess that does make things a little easier,” I paused as I noticed three sewing machines in a corner near a rack filled with large bolts of cloth. Stepping closer I noticed that only one was positioned for use, and the other two had signs of disuse. “Rarity, might I ask about your sewing machines?”

“Hm? Sure, I guess, what would you like to know?” she replied.

“Just curious if there is anything wrong with those two,” I said, pointing at the two against the wall.

“Oh, those old things, that one was my first, so I can never bring myself to get rid of it, even if it is broken,” she said somewhat somberly as she pointed to the one with some dust gathered on it. “And this one broke down some time ago, and I've been too busy to get it repaired or hauled away.”

“Mind if I try to fix them?” I offered. She looked at me like I had grown a second head, so I continued, “I have some skill with repairing machines, and I have worked on a few sewing machines in the past. Also this would be a way for me to pay for the clothes.”

“Darling, I can't expect you to pay for a gift,” she retorted with a serious expression.

“Ma'am, I can't accept a gift without giving in kind,” was my rebuttal.

“Since you put it that way, fine,” she ceded. “But, are you sure I can't choose some other gift?” she asked with a flutter of her long eyelashes and a sly smile.

I chuckled at this, and knelt back down to almost eye level with her. Leaning forward and lowering my tone I replied, “Third date,” giving her a wink and a waggle of my eyebrows. The same blush from earlier came back with a vengeance, as much fun as this was though, there was some work to be done. “Miss Rarity, if you don't mind, I think we will have to set this game aside for the time being, or neither of us will get anything done,” I said in a much more serious yet casual tone.

With surprising speed her blush faded and she took a few calming breaths. “Yes, you are right, even if it is fun, we have some work to do,” she finally said, straightening herself and taking a professional tone. “If you don't mind, I will take your measurements over by the platform, and we can discuss what will work best for you to wear at the same time.”

“Ah yes, as there is a fair bit to talk about regarding that: fabric type, color choice, pattern or print? All those things to work out,” I noted aloud as we walked to the measuring area. Twilight and I shared a smile as Rarity seemed fit to burst with pride at the prospect.

After some deliberation we managed to settle the details and exchanged the necessary information to complete each of our tasks. As I worked on the sewing machines, Twilight watched in fascination while I unfolded my pocket pliers and set to the task of disassembly of the older machine first. And so a couple of hours passed with little conversation as Rarity worked with a tack tack tack tack from her machine, and an occasional click or creak sound coming from the two machines that I was working on.

Author's Note

A page break that isn't the beginning or end of a chapter? I guess I still can manage that sometimes... As always feel free to comment, tell me what you think. Probably rewrote this one at least five times as I decided that I didn't like how one spot sounded or flowed, still not as good as i'd like but passable for now.

and as always extra thanks go to Sneaky for proofreading this, and making sure i don't look like a grade 'a' jumbo jackass. be sure to check out his stories