Colors of Sorrow

by Wubcak3z

First published January 1st, 1970 00:00

Midnight Colors has recently lost a very close loved one from his family, and he blames himself for it. He is constantly questioning himself, and has reoccurring nightmares often when he sleeps. His best friend, Golden Flame, has recently been raped, and his brother just died. This all takes a traumatizing toll on his mind, but over two months, he slowly but surely recovers, also finding the truth behind the accident, and bringing peace to himself.

Chapters

Regret
Remorse
Retribution

Regret
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Colors of Sorrow

Regret

I heard a knock on the small wooden door. I wasn't expecting company, and was curious to see who it was. Nevertheless, I just sat there in silence. The knock got louder, and more persistent, but I stayed where I was. I couldn't answer, not with what had happened. The knock slowly got louder and louder, and I knew it was only a matter of time before whoever was at my door found the key. Only a matter of time. Then, the knocking stopped, and I heard the click of the door, and it swung open, letting light spill into the darkened room. I glanced over, and saw Fluttershy standing there, with tears in her eyes. She moved closer and I shivered, thinking of what had happened. She stood there in silence for a few seconds, and then put her hoof on my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault.." I looked at her dreadfully, knowing flat out what she said was a lie. It was my fault. I looked back towards the window, trying to avoid Fluttershy and what she had said. She sat down next to me and hugged my chest. "Please.. just come out.. please?" She looked up at me with such a sad look, I had to comply. "I.. guess I could come out for a little bit but, please, can we stay away from.." I choked up and felt tears running down my cheek. Fluttershy put her hoof on my mouth and signaled me to come with her. I got up, trying not to think of what had happened, what I had done. We trotted through the dimly lit hall towards the kitchen, stopping occasionally to wipe the tears from our faces. When we got downstairs I noticed Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow dash sitting at the table, with tears streaming from their cheeks. This only made me feel worse, as I trotted through and sat at the table the other ponies were occupying. I took a deep breath and wiped my cheek, as the other ponies looked up at me. Applejack offered a glass with water in it and said, "Y-you alright sugarcube?" I looked at her bitterly, and pushed the glass away as gently away as I could, not answering. Applejack looked back down, wiping her tears as she did. Twilight touched my chin and pulled my head up, looking at me with sympathy in her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" I moved her hoof away and shook my head, looking back down at the ground. Rainbow Dash started to say something, but stopped before she was finished. I looked at her, and she mouthed the words, "I'm sorry." I didn't understand what she meant by "I'm sorry", especially since she wasn't any where near when the accident happened. I thought about that.. accident? No, it was my fault. It's always my fault. I got up, sick of sitting in silence, when I heard a knock at the front door. I stood there, dazed, and Rainbow Dash got up to get the door. She answered it, and gasped. I turned to see who it was, and I was speechless. It was my brother, standing there smiling at me. I looked at him, awestruck, not knowing what to say. I looked into his eyes and asked, or tried to, "H-how.. you're.. alive?" He laughed, and gave me a hug. "Don't worry about that now! I'm here, and that's all that matters!" I looked at him again, puzzled. "Hey, could you turn around for a second? I need to see something." I looked at his neck, and the mark where he was hit was gone, it was as if he was never hurt in the first place. I observed this in shock, looking all around for any marks whatsoever, but as far as I could tell, he was perfectly fine. "I looked at him again, and asked, "Where did you come from? And.. where is your scar- Where are your scars?" He looked at me and frowned, then replied, " I'm sorry. You killed me." Right after he said that, my vision blacked out, and I woke up to the sound of a thunderstorm pounding at the house with a torrent of rain. It was just a dream.. that means that my brother really was gone.. and that I was still alone. I felt tears going down my face, and I just lost it. I sobbed there for about two hours as I thought about the things I might have been able to save my brother. I couldn't come up with anything. It seems fate, cruel as it is, would not have it any other way. He just had to die. I pushed away this thought, and laid back down looking at the ceiling. I sighed, and decided to go to the kitchen to get something to eat. I got up from my bed, stretched my hooves out, and headed for the kitchen. The hallways were dark, which made me assume that nopony was there, but when I got to the kitchen I saw Golden Flame sitting down at my table, poking at it with her hoof. She seemed to be waiting for me. I trotted over to her and asked, "Goldie, what are you doing here? I thought you were out of town." She looked up, startled, and replied, "Uhh, well I was, but then I heard what happened to your brother and.. I just had to come!" I smiled at her and gave her a hug. She was the only pony I could really talk to, and I really loved seeing her. I had known her for so long, ever since I was a little colt. She smiled back at me and asked if I wanted to go out for a little bit and try to forget about some of this. I really didn't want to leave, but since it was with her, and the fact that nopony else would come to visit for a while, I agreed. "Great!", she said, as she got up and headed for the door, holding it open for me. I stepped outside and breathed in deeply. She came out and shut the door, then looked at me and said, "You know, you can't blame your self for this." She looked at me with concern and quickly said again, "C'mon, let's go get something to eat." I just stood there, thinking about what she said. Was she right? I shrugged it off and headed towards the cafe.

Remorse
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Colors of Sorrow

Remorse

We arrived at the cafe, which was particular empty today. We trotted up to the pony at the front and she pointed us to a table in the far rear of the cafe, then trotted off to deal with another customer. We sat down at the booth and I laid my head down on the table. I glanced at Goldie for a second, and felt bad. This was supposed to be my escape from my feelings, and I was already thinking about what had happened. She frowned, and pulled my head up by the chin. "Can't you try a little harder to just forget about it for now.. please?" I looked up at her, and moved my hoof from off the table. She smiled and said, "Now that's better! You know what you want to eat?" I looked at the menu, paying more attention to the illustrations then the actual food the menu was supposed to be showing me. The strokes were so smooth, and it amazed me that these menus were all created by hoof, one by one. They reminded me of my brother's work, which made me put my head back down. Goldie pulled me up by the chin again, this time with a concerned look on her face. "Do you want to go home, Midnight?" I was semi-stunned. I knew she really wanted to make me feel better and hang around me, but I didn't expect her to let me go home if I needed to. I slowly nodded and asked, "Is that alright.. I know you want to stay out here with me." She smiled, and nuzzled me. "If you think that is what's best for you, then we can go home." I smiled and thought about how little time we spent together, looking at her in her deep, blue eyes. "I'm sorry.." She looked at me, confused, then said, "I told you it's not your fault." I looked at her again, and said, "Oh no no.. not that. I'm sorry I couldn't have been there more for you. What with your unexpected pregnancy and all-" I stopped right there, realizing what I was saying. She looked at me bitterly and said, "I thought we agreed not to talk about that.." She quickly looked away, obviously thinking about what I had said. I put my hoof on her shoulder, and said, "Listen.. I know we did, but you can't hide this forever." She pushed my hoof away from me. "What do you know? Do you know what it's liked being raped? Do you have any idea the amount of shame it brings? How much it hurts?" She stormed off with tears in her eyes as I sat there, regretting what I had said. I put my face in my hooves and started to cry. Another mess that I had caused, fantastic. I wanted to apologize to Goldie, but I had no idea where she had went. I looked outside but couldn't find her. I went back inside, and heard crying coming from the mare's restroom. I leaned into the door and said as gently as I could, "Goldie.. I'm sorry. Please come out, I want to talk to you. I need to apologize!" There was no response, so I sat there waiting for her to calm down and come out. After about fifteen minutes she came out, and gave me a hug. I was half-asleep, so I jumped when she hugged me. She put her head on my legs and cried on them. I patted her head and stroked her mane to calm her down. I eventually managed to get her to stop crying, and she started talking to me again. "I'm sorry I ran off like that.. I just have a lot on my mind right now. I mean, me being.. r-raped, and your brother dying.. it's just been terrible. I hugged her and said, "I know, and I'm sorry for bringing back those memories. You are right, I don't know what it's like to be raped, but I can tell you this, I know what it's like to be afraid. I know what it's like to be alone, thinking no one will come to help you. I know.. I'm sorry." She looked up at me and smiled, tears still streaming down her cheeks. She was about to say something, but I put my hoof on her mouth and told her to come home, and not to worry about anything. She listened, and we headed out the door towards home.

On the way there, we ran into our good friend Neon Streaks. He was presently unaware of what had happened, so he trotted up to me and Goldie and asked what was wrong. We explained what had happened and he started to frown, saying how sorry he was for us. I was grateful, but I had this feeling to just tell him to leave us alone. I politely finished the conversation and headed for home. I felt so bad for Goldie.. a terrible thing happened to her and all I was doing was making things worse. I mean, here I am, her best friend, and I won't even talk to her! I'll make it up to her, I have to. For what she is going through, it's the least I could do. I do love her after all.

Retribution
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Colors of Sorrow

Retribution

We arrived at the house at around noon, but it was still as dark as ever. I lit a few candles and sat down with Goldie. I'd been thinking about asking her something important for a while, but what happened sort of put a damper on that idea. I looked at her. She was stunningly beautiful, and I couldn't help but get lost in her eyes. As cliche as that sounds, it was true, they were just marvelous! This only made me sadder. Such a magnificent pony was just raped and left in an alley. This infuriated me, and made me wish I could find whoever did this and, well, kill them. I never really thought of who did it because I was just so devastated that somepony would do this to her. I wanted to talk to her about who did it, but in light of the current situation, I decided not to. We sat there in silence for about thirty minutes when a knock rang from the large wooden door at the front of the house. Goldie just laid on the couch, not moving, so I got up to answer whoever was there. When I opened the door, I saw one of the pony guards standing there with a sad look on his face. I recognized him, he was the guard there when the accident happened. I knew he was a good pony, so I let him in. He looked at me and said, with a hug, "Midnight, how have you been?"

I smiled at him the best I could, and replied, "Well, I have been better, but I think I am starting to recover." He looked at me, smiling back and said, "That's good to hear! I'm glad you are feeling better. That reminds me, I-" He hesitated, and made an anxious face then resumed what he was saying. "I have to tell you something about the accident.." I froze there, thinking about what he said, quickly replying angrily, "What do you mean 'something about the accident'?" He looked at me glumly and said, "Well.. it.. wasn't an accident. Someone tried to kill you and your brother." I winced, and felt my eyes tearing up. "S-someone.. tried to kill us?" I trembled, utterly shocked at what he had said. "I'm.. I'm afraid so. We found blasting powder on your brother's remai-" He stopped, covering his mouth, then continuing, "We found evidence of a bomb on the cart that you and him were sitting in." I was puzzled and I looked at him, confused. "A bomb? I thought we crashed.. no, we did crash, I remember it!" He put his hoof on my shoulder and said, "It wasn't a crash. You blacked out as soon as the bomb went off." I took a few steps back, trying to remember what had happened really. "Do you know who planted it?" His expression changed again, showing a look of concern and anxiousness. "Well, not really, but we know it was planted just before you and your brother got on the cart. Can you remember anyone doing anything out of the ordinary? Anything at all may be able to help us find whoever did this." I tried to remember before what had happened before I blacked out, but I couldn't remember a thing. "I think the bomb must've screwed up my memory.. I don't remember a thing.." He looked at me again, replying, "That's alright, we will find him. And don't worry, he will pay for what he's done." I tried to smile, but in all truth,I just couldn't. Someone had killed my brother. I looked over at the wall with pictures of me and him when we were colts, and stepped closer, touching the pictures and thinking of when we were kids. I looked back to then, remembering his cheerful smile, so calm but excitable at the same time. He was always the curious one, and often tried new things, which usually resulted in a failure. But that never brought him down, in fact, it made him try harder. I always admired this about him, and it only made me miss him more. The guard stepped over, putting his goof on my shoulder once more. "I'm really sorry about all of this.. I can't imagine what you are going through." I looked at him and grinned back, hugging him. "You should go now, and get back to your duties. I'll see you later." He looked at me again and said, "Are you sure? I can have my partner vouch for me-" I put my hoof on his mouth, and nudged him towards the door. "We'll be fine, okay?" He nodded, and left the house. Now, it was just me and Goldie. I trotted over to her and sat down with her again, stroking her mane. "Feeling better?" She glanced at me for a second then put her head back down on the couch. I could tell she was tired, so I covered her up with a blanket and cut out the lights. I figured I might as well go to bed too, considering how little sleep I had gotten over the past few days. I went up to my room through the dimly lit hallway, for once not thinking about what had happened. I went to my bed and laid down on my back, then fell into a solemn, deep sleep.