Every Prince Deserves a Princess

"You're shivering, babe."

"At this point, you're lucky I'm not shitting."

Moss and I sat for several minutes in silence prior to the brief exchange, though I was glad for the nebulous interruption to the quietude. The gravity of the situation had begun to eat at me in a way that I had never thought possible. The chimera, though a monster, had been my first kill outside of routine trophy hunting, where the targets were corralled and stood no chance. I felt proud, riddled with adrenaline, and... honestly, a little sick. Gore was nothing that one such as I couldn't handle, but this went beyond gore. This was desecration, and a clear warning that this Bloodlet nonsense was nothing to be trifled with, and something nopony deserved. Well, almost nopony.

Silence once again overtook us as Moss moved closer to me and wrapped his hoof around my shoulder. I tried to recoil as I watched his fetlock dip into the rapidly freezing blood that clung to my fur as though it was painted on, but he merely tightened his grip and shook his head. I spent a lot of time looking into his glassy blue eyes as the wind played with his mane, making the erratic strands dance about and hang rigidly about his features as the sweat made his hair slowly begin to freeze over. It wasn't quite concern that he showed... but something a bit foreign. Or I was just terrible at reading ponies. That, however, was unlikely.

"Just breathe, man. You'll get over it. You're either crazier than me, or you've got a bit of a hero hidden inside. Either way, it's disgusting, and kinda hot. You never did answer my question."

I merely sighed, watching as the mushroom-shaped cloud of icy breath left my mouth and trailed up into the wintery air. "Which question of the several I've ignored?"

That raspy chuckle was something I began to look forward to, in part due to how devious it sounded. It was almost as though Moss was constantly scheming something... a trait that I was unafraid to admit that we shared.

"Y'know, why you tried to stop those two fuckers in the cave. You had no idea what they were capable of. They could've been alicorns, for all you knew."

"Don't be stupid," I replied. "Only three exist, and even that is pushing it." I reached a hoof up to smooth my mane, finding the mess snow-covered and hard. It would take much, much more than a simple bath to rectify the situation that was my hair...

"Point stands. Why?" Moss dropped his hoof into the powder below and swirled it around a little, his gaze upon the treeline instead of me. If he wanted to know so badly, could the cretin not even afford me the courtesy of eye contact? And ponies called me rude.

Regardless, I stopped to mull it over, turning over my own reasoning in my mind. Then again... could it really be called reasoning? It was more instinct than anything. A natural urge, and one difficult to fight. I saw, I processed, and I did. The nature of all creatures was much the same, was it not? I closed my eyes, shivering slightly as the immediate answer came to me. The instinctual answer, the answer that made sense. It wasn't enough. I wouldn't settle for instinct, for common thought, and for letting my natural urges control me. I was above nature itself... I just hadn't thought my logic through, at the time.

"It's simple, really." I paused for effect, or to continue inventing my answer. Which is was realty didn't matter. "They were a threat to the crown. The crown signs my checks, and I'm an extension of them. I do, in fact, have a job to do, unlike some ponies looking to freeload and skate through life." The added sneer only earned me a rolling of Moss' eyes, and so I continued. "I may lie, cheat, and steal... but I also work. I'm not afraid to get my hooves dirty. It was in the interest of money, and nothing else."

"What about Shining?" he asked, lifting a hoof and bending it slightly along with his inquiry. "Pretty clear he's in danger."

"That he is. Leave that to me. As soon as we get back, I c-"

"Halt!" came a cry from the treeline to my right. The feminine call was not lacking in authority, and carried the controlled cadence of a trained guard. The voice to follow was anything but.

"Why the hell are you two out here!? You know this is restricted ground, Blueblood!"

A pair of mares, one in the air, came toward us a a good clip. The white pegasus was clad in light chain mail overlaid with leather sections, her steel helmet just barely failing to cover pink-tipped hair that hung down into her face. Slung across her back was a longbow, the ends tipped with vicious-looking curved blades. Her flank was adorned with a vial of poison, and the peculiar picture was temporarily obscured as she touched down, kicking up snow around herself as her companion ran to catch up.

"Lieutenant Aurora Cradle, of Shining Armor's Day Guard! State your business!"

I curled my lip into a sneer and spit into the snow before her hooves, earning a look of sheer malice for my efforts. "I needn't justify myself to you. I outrank you as a prince."

Aurora narrowed her sapphire eyes as a deep red unicorn with a chocolate colored mane, clad in full golden plate mail and lacking a helmet joined her side, a furious look upon her face.

"Fuck your credentials. Why are you out here, who's this, and who killed the chimera without inviting me? Jerk."

"Ladies, laaaaaaaaaaadies," Moss cooed as he approached the pair, smoothing his frozen mane as best he could with a sly smile. "No need to get angry. We're all on the same side, so let's talk this one out. Name's Creeping Moss."

"I bet it is," the unicorn mumbled, looking unimpressed in her bout of anger.

"I get that a lot. Anyhow, we were out here on official business. Little Boy Blue here hired me to help map out the nearby cave, completely legit, on Celestia's orders, and we ran into the chimera. We crossed back over to call for help, but your prince took it down without you guys. Impressive, no?" He finished his tale with tilt of the head, and I accompanied it by knocking my hoof into my forehead. Now he'd done it.

"Orders from our Princess herself? I will be verifying this immediately upon our return," the pegasus huffed as she turned away, adjusting the bow slung around her back. "The only reason you are not under arrest is due to your bloodline. Your companion comes with me."

"If I time it right, I will."

The unicorn, Willow Wisp, chuckled a bit, her anger seeming to fade. "I like this one. Can we keep him?"

I merely rolled my eyes, ignoring Willow as Moss tried to strike up a conversation with Willow as he was being shackled. Willow and I had never gotten along, mostly due to her crude nature. I could be crude, but she was downright... tasteless, bossy, and acted as though the rules didn't apply to her. How anypony could put up with a unicorn like that was beyond me.

"Kinky. Can we do this again later, maybe with a bed involved?"

"If you give me a reason," the plate-covered mare replied as she watched Aurora silently take my companion into custody. How I put up with those around me on a daily basis was clearly a mystery for the ages.

"I will take the earth pony in for questioning," Aurora stated matter-of-factly as she wrapped a tight hoof around one of Moss' cuffed forelimbs. She turned and began to walk back toward the castle without another word, unaware that the little scamp's eyes were on her flank the entire time. Some things never changed.

"Oi."

I looked down at the slightly shorter unicorn before me, who was blowing a strand of mane out of her face. "Guess that means you and me are together, Blueballs. C'mon, I have a pudding cup with my name on it, and you can't have any. Wasting my damned time with your stupid stories..." She turned and began to trot without another word, and I scooped up what little I had with me before following.

I draped Moss' vest around my shoulders and put what remained of the tattered cloak around it, trying to glean some warmth from the pathetic ensemble. I needed something to keep my mind off the cold, and so I broke one of my personal rules: never start a conversation with Willow.

"I'm telling the truth, you know..."

"Yep. Whatever." She swished her tail to the side a bit, her horn sparking with a few embers as she began to channel a fire spell. "Like you could kill a chimera. You can barely balance on two hooves."

"Look, I know you all think me incapable, but the attitude is getting old."

"So's yours. Stay close to me so you don't freeze into an ass-scicle." Willow squinted in focus as a small coil of flames began to envelop her body at a safe distance, heating the air around herself. I moved just a bit closer to absorb some of the effect, smiling as sensation returned to my hooves.

"Do you at least believe the rest?"

"Don't know, don't care. Shining'll sort it out, or not. I doubt he cares, either. You two are alive, protocol was followed, everything's peachy and such." Willow cast her gaze at me, that typical twinge of annoyance ever-present in her features. "Nopony else was within the barrier, were they?"

"Of course not. Even you should know it's impenetrable to all those but the privileged."

"Or those born with a silver spoon sticking out of their ass. Sweet Celestia, you need a bath. More than usual, I mean," she added as she covered her nose with a hoof.

"I thought you liked the stink of blood, little-miss-badass," I teased.

"Not when it mixes with the stink of you," she fired back, adjusting the strap of the sheathed claymore upon her back. How she carried that thing along with heavy plate was something I hadn't quite figured out, but it told obviously enough of her strength. It was at least somewhere near mine, if not only a little weaker. Then again, I'd never actually seen her fight, for all of her big talk. Perhaps she carried it for show.

"Castle's comin' up. You go straight to Shiny and report in, yeah?"

"I was planning on it. I'm not an idiot."

"Just an ass."

Willow gave a mocking salute as we passed through the gates only minutes later, before strolling off to likely not do her job. Typical peasant fare, residing where they shouldn't. That mare was a prime example why only those of privileged blood would be admitted to work in the castle under my rule... and maybe Moss. He was proving more and more useful, after all. Had he not lied about having Celestia's permission, I wouldn't have even had a reason to be angry with him as I climbed up the carpeted steps toward Shining Armor's office. Of course, the universe just constantly had to find a way to irritate me, and that was a fact that I'd accepted long ago.

Three knocks rang out in the otherwise silent hall as I pounded upon the oaken door and stood back to wait. A light blue glow surrounded the knob before the portal swung open to reveal quite literally the last thing I wanted to see at that moment. There, behind his work desk, stood Shining Armor, his hoof upon Cadance's stomach as she looked adoringly into his eyes. Shining didn't even bother looking toward the door as I stomped my way inside, instead returning her gaze with such a saccharine effort that I nearly began to feel sick. I cleared my thought twice, only to watch the two nuzzle affectionately in response.

"Excuse me!" I practically yelled, getting impatient. "I came to report in on the security breach in the woods, if you would like to do your job, now!"

"Hey, whoa, chill out, Vlad. We were just having a little moment..."

"Have your moments off the clock, you..." and my tirade halted instantly as I saw Cadance's hurt expression. The fact that she said nothing stung more than anything else, and I immediately shut my mouth for her benefit. Shining didn't capitalize on the opportunity, and instead continued speaking in his usual calm, infuriating tone.

"Thanks for coming by, but... yeah. I'd like some time with my wife, unless something that really needs my attention happened. Can you just file the standard report tomorrow, or did something big go down that can't wait?"

I looked Shining in the eye, a mixture of thoughts and feelings swirling within my mind as he waited for my answer. My mind was a complete blank, seeming to shut down as I briefly looked over to Cadance. She gave me a small smile, and for the briefest moment... she almost looked proud.

"...nothing, Captain. Not a thing."

Without a second thought, I turned and left the office, a dark smirk on my lips as I closed the door behind me with a quick burst of magic.